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‘What are you doing?’

‘I’m doing sex. ’

What a last couple of days! I’ve having a blast, oozed over with a cheeky charm of love and a lot dollop of *wiggle.* The other afternoon, I had decided to ‘slag’ my face up a little. In Wunna Land that means cream on too much pink lippy, far too much eyeliner, ‘dramatico’ those eyes to ‘smokey,’ bronze a little bit more than you really actually need too and whop on a pair of lengthy lashes of ‘ooh laa’, equipped with freshly ‘bigged up’ hair and a series of glamour modelly pouts into a full length mirror and all before noon. I do this when i either feel old, not as sexy as 2009 (when i was award winning for my tragical look of deliciousness,) when my inner ‘kitten’ wants to peek out or simply out of boredom. I’m not quite sure which one it was, but my very ‘Handsome Keiran’ decided to plonk up the stairs at almost the perfect time, take a look at me, tell me i had ‘too much on my face,’ however then proceeded to cuddle, kiss and ‘boner’ up to me, with a smile of excitement in his eyes.

It led to a cheeky *shimmie* of laughter and before you know it we were stripping off, all boobies and biceps and preparing for a bit of quick slaggy bonking on the bed. The funny thing about it all was that we laughed all the way. I was laid there, all over done and happy, on my tummy with a wiggle. He was laid, all a boner and a ‘come to daddio, baby-boo’ face of glory. I began to weirdly scoot downward, but whilst still laid on my front, in order to reach his willy…with my mouthy and he sort of looked at me, paused, asked me what i was doing..and with a puzzled face, only to have me look up, giggle and say, ‘I’m trying to do sex Keiran.’ Lmfao. I’m the Ultimate hero of glamour…honest. I must’ve looked like a toad. We laughed our pretty hot arses off and had the best, ‘bent over’ quickie bonk EVER. I love that we’re so comfortable with each other than we can enjoy our sex life fully, be it comedic, kinky or for the art of role play, or baby making. Nothing is ever awkward between us, in our bubble and that’s how you know you have found the one you will be able to tend to ‘forever’ with. Lots of fun. Lots of lippy. Lots of love. *Purr….*

Okay, other than that little bit of story…I AM sooooooo CRAZY busy. Plannin the book launch, the book promo, being a mum and having a WEDDING to organize for a couple months time is insane. I have an inbox full of ‘need to reply too’s’ to the point where i’m at the ‘lets be lazy and have wine’ stage of ‘ooh laa.’ When things get too much, i shower tan and drink wine, whilst drying off to my favourite show ever. ‘Real Housewives…’ Maybe i secretly aspire to be one? However, i’m so turned on by being able to make my own way, money, history and mark, that i quite fancy myself as more of a glamour pussy, accidental entrepeneur. (‘Oh look, Wunna’s accidentally made millions…’) I likey that ideary, very mucho muchly! I was kinda stressed yesterday, but i think it was because i didn’t have Keiran by my side. It’s really bizarre now because we truely actually do come as a pair. We couldn’t imagine ‘doing life’ without the other. I mean he looked at me the other day, rejoicing about how great a couple we were, then stated that we just now come as a twosome. We’ve properly got our fairytale together now and are trooping forward. We’re a great family, we have great families and with all the love that we share between us, our foundation is now solid…and sexy.

I’ve been working hard, he’s been working hard. I’ve been chilling with wine, as he’s been recording old school rap songs, for ’get well soon’ cards, that ended up being accidental ‘Happy Birthday’ cards for grandmas…with flowers. His nan (who we love and visited) has just had a hip replacement and Keiran thought it would be funny to record the ‘I said a hip…hop…blah blah etc..’ rap for her to enjoy through her recovery. I’m marrying that man. We actually have wonderful people around us now and well our elders are giving us strong words of wisdom to carry us through life correctly. We’re going to do AMAZINGLY and have everything we ever wanted and simply because we’re listening now and getting our priorities right. Both sides CANNOT WAIT for the wedding…so we’re really happy. My mum is completely addicted to Keiran now. I mean, anything he wants…she’ll get, or do…and simply because she has a new son. I enjoy that he now has a new random asian family. I’m loving life right now. I’m marrying the most amazing and most delicious man. I can rely on him to be there, love, cherish and protect me. He knows i’d do that for him…even if i’m in too much bronzer. (I work better like that.) I like that my face prints on his, everytime we bonk. He did the nursery run with giant pink lip marks planted upon his face. That’s a good thing…even in a van and because it means not only are you loved, but the love that you have is ALIVE. (Today, i tried to convince him that i was his imaginary friend. It’s like ‘Fight club’ with tits and lipstick.)

I’ve got far too much going on right now to be able to write this blog and make it entertaining. I’ve got to mail my book to Emily at The Daily star. I accidentally when tipsy channel flicked and watched myself on telly last night on ‘sex lessons,’ i need to sort out my VIP list for the book launch, i have to email the show that i’m filming…i have weird tan lines, a wedding on Aug 12th, a delicious baby who waddles around giggling and calling things ‘cats’ and ‘uh-ohs,’ i’m loving you, loving the support, confident about my future, wanting another baby, wishing could embrace being 31 and looking forward to recieving all my free things from ‘Duffer’ and ‘Fablesofafox.’

Oh and for those of you who watched ‘sex, lies and rinsing guys,’ i was meant to be on that, but it didn’t work out due to me not being ‘rinsey’ enough. Lol. A blessing in disguise. I’m getting things right now. Book, blog, mummy hood, wedding, filming show, getting my own ‘family’ show, the movie with DK and life in fur boots or heels! I think i need to breed twins. Keiran’s decided he wants an ‘all girl’ family because he’d get to grow old, sit under a tree and have us take care of him forever. I love that he loves me and thinks i’m the most beautiful thing he has ever seen or experience. I look at him and i’m wowed by his yumminess, heart and determination.

Life is good…i better get back to work.

You can never find a bobble when you need one. Like i’ve said… I’m crapola at ‘doing hair’ and if you wish to rock a delicious bit of ‘hair-do-do’ it really doesn’t help. I need a pocket sized gay with a tail comb and a ton of hairspray to pop out of my handbag every 6.9 minutes and groom me. I don’t even have extensions in right now (i know…i’m a sinner.) But bottom line, when you need a bobble…(and i’ve recently bought three of those bundle packs filled with bobble delight…) you can never ever find one. I mean, i can’t even whop it up, in a scruffy ‘updo’ to hide the fact that i’m an ill doer of hair.

Anyway, life is unbelievable right now. Unbelievable! ‘Handsome Keiran’ and i are madly in love. It feels so real that it even gives me the giddies. I’m soo comforted by him being my ‘forever.’ (He looked at me yesterday on the way back from our wedding venue and with a warm heart of ‘you’re going to be my wifey’…he said, ‘i’m going to look after you forever.’ Awwww.)  I honestly have the most amazing man in this entire world….even if we have hairspray wars and i have to get picked up in a baby cradle position and spun around a LIVING  room out of love, excitment and hyperactivity. (I’m only 5ft 3. People like to pick me up and spin me. It’s odd…especially when you’re 31..and have tits. ) We’re really playful and filled with ‘ooh laa’ right now and we spent pretty much all of the weekend being a cozy, fun couple, full of tickles, laughter, early morning rising, ‘Dating in the Dark,’  silent sex and cuddles. The love part of our relationship couldn’t be any better, neither could the ‘family’ part. The work part is nerve wrecking…and because we are both so highly ambitious. We’re going to do amazingly…but i guess i’m just a girl who studies her path to the future, to make sure it plays out correctly. It’s really not all wiggles and boobie winks, like i say it is, as my head is working all of the time to guarantee the ‘dream everything.’ We’re on the right path and i can’t WAIT to ‘high five’ life with a big breath of relief and a jolly old ‘i fricking DID IT.’ 

Okay, Saturday was spent in Doncaster. My ‘handsome,’ Baby Ruby and I, trundled to the town that birthed me in order for Keiran to purchase a big white van and then for a yummy spot of lunch in the centre. We had to tend to a bank stop, then we had a bit of burger love at Zest, before meeting my parents for a brief cheery walk around and more eating at China Palace. Weirdly a few of you saw us in Doncaster, walked past us and everything, yet didn’t utter a single word. Lol. We had a lady during the nursery run this morning stop us to tell us that she walked right next to us, yet didn’t say anything because we looked like we were in a deep meaningful conversation. Deep meaningful conversation? We were probably talking about hairdo’s, tans and making Ruby be ‘cute on cue’ for attention. Infact, there was a point, after a Tweet from the lovely ‘Tom Fox’ who had also spotted us dotting around Donny, with my green accent bag and Keirans ‘killer biceps’…stating that we were in making outfits! Ha! We love TOM. We hadn’t even noticed until we looked at each other, in our little booth at Zest, pissed ourselves with glorious giggles and said, ‘OMG we ARE matching!!’ (I LOVE matching.) I enjoy how everyone focussed on what we looked like that day because I actually £5000 of his money in cash in my accent green baggage. You should’ve mugged me, instead of marking my shorts out of 10. My bag took a beating that day. I swear on my fricking life, I LITERALLY HAD EVERYTHING in this fucking bag. I like a big bag. You need ot have a big one when you’re a mummy and a wife to be. Yet did they take the piss or what! I had nappies, bottles, cash, food, clothes, wallets, keys and Lord knows what in my little green bag and when it’s as full as it could possible be..what d’ya think Keiran says to me? ‘Oh babe, can you put this sat nav, in there too…oh and these glasses…oh and…what? This is what happens when you’re a mum and a wife. ‘ I’m surprised he didn’t try and buy a fricking elephant and maybe a prositute…simply to put them IN MY BAG!

Lovely day. Productive day. Family day. My parents truely adore Keiran and now that we have a wedding coming up, it’s all getting really exciting for them. I love that they’ve welcomed him into the family, like a son. My DAD even gave him a 9 out of 10!! Having full family support is really really great. My dad likes him because he’s a go-getter, romantic and a ‘wonderful  example of a man.’ But then he said he’d ‘give me away’ to anyone to get on the telly for a few minutes. :)  However, yes Doncaster was wonderful. Ruby was a giant hit. I cannot believe how adorable she is right now. There was an odd moment, where she decided to sit in the middle of the Frenchgate centre, in yellow stripes and a headband…AND WITH A LEMON HELIUM BALLOON attached to her wrist, with dolly eyes. It won the hearts of many, to the point where Keiran and I had to pretend we were leaving her there, in order for her to leave the act for another day. We’re ALL attention seekers in our family. It’s quite a treat for any little audience.

God, i can’t remember what else happened? He got the van, we’re in love…we went shopping, did lunches? Cuddled all night? Perfect evening. Perfect fairytale. Keiran was overly excited. We bonked.

The next day…as in yesterday we did our very first bit of big WEDDING ‘OOH LAA’. YIPPEEE!! I’m really really can’t wait now because for the first time ever i’m marrying the man of my dreams. (Whilst i’m typing this Keiran is telling me to ‘get my tits out’ to the merry tune of ‘The Beach Boys.’) We drove down to Oulton Hall(..in the van)  for 11am, to have a looky at what they had on offer for us and what do you know! I had the entire GROOM OF THE YEAR! Most men are usually quite ‘draggy feet’ about a whole wedding plan etc. Not my ‘arm candy.’ Holy shit, KEIRAN was like the BRIDE! He thundered in, with an ‘ i want drapes, i don’t like that dance floor….i need it all to be perfect…and just all glamourous.’ I was literally playing catch up, as the wedding co-ordinated and my ARMY GROOM, hustled and bustled forward with the wedding plans. Lol. He loved it and i liked that! I liked that he’s truely excited to get married. He had a glint in his eye and a leap in his step. They actually already knew that we were having it filmed for the telly…so hopefully they will let us go all out. We want ultimate decadent GLAMOUR.

But yes, the place is over the top, beautiful classy and delicious. It’s also kinda pricey…but fuck it, we’re having a wedding and luckily we have a great ‘father of the bride.’ Once The Wunna’s warm up to a boy, i think it’s a pretty good family to fall into. We walked through glitzy champagne bars, cocktail hour lawns, main reception suites, the ceremony room…just beautiful.

When we had agreed on the ‘what happens next’ we simply sat down, enjoyed a silver served afternoon tea and scones, by an old fashion bookcase, luxury arm chairs and under a chandelier, the size of…BURMA. (Then Keiran went to the dump, after blagging a free carpet. One extreme to the other much?)

We’re having one of those ‘life is going to be good’ chapters! I’m really excited! I CAN’T WAIT TO GET MARRIED!!! I’m going from a ‘Wunna’ to a ‘Thompson.’ How bizarrely delicious! Helllooo August Wedding! (God, i still have all my book launch stuff to organize. UGH)

Woke up over the moon, laid by my gorgeous baby Ruby and my delicious hubby to be. Fair enough, it was to ‘Handsome Keiran’ singing his own version of nursery rhymes, to my responsive little girlio, after an evening of the loudest  snoring ever. (‘Keiran you crazy snored all night, then shocked yourself up!/ Well maybe i had stopped breathing?/ Erm…stopped breathing? You pretty much used up all the oxygen in the ENTIRE world up, with those snores! lol’) I love it really and because he’s nothing short of cute. Even if ‘Tommy’ now ‘ puts the kettle on’ instead of good old fashioned ‘Polly.’ He always makes his own words up to songs, yet commits to them fully. We all do it, don’t we. But i can’t handle getting it wrong without feeling odd and to the point where i will foolishly attempt to merge my wrong word, into the right word, like i never ballsed it up in the first place. Haha. Tragico.

Now, i think about it,  last night he made up his own language..that ended up a little bit Chinese, whilst laid on the sofa, wanting me to stroke his head. (Not that head. That happened earlier in the day. #yeahbaby) You’ve got to love anyone who commits to their own version of words whole heartedly. It means they believe what they believe and love it all the way…regardless. He’s just one of those great guys, perfectly matched to a Wunna…even if i HAVE just had to explain why he should maybe reconsider biting my hands off. (‘Who’d make ya tea and tickle ya back babe? Not me…i’d have no fricking hands!’) The sheer fright of no tea and no tickling saved my little bumpkins. I’m actually quite proud of him right now, with him handling life well, being a great daddy to Ruby, being a loving hubby to be and now running his own company. He’s doing well and well as any girl knows, when the boys do well in the love, work and daddy department…it’s a major turn on. #Pointsscored

Anyway my cutie pies, Wunna land is currently filled with true love, strength and dreams come true right now and when you add a positive beam of laughter on top of all that, you have nothing short of victory. I feel really lucky, really grateful and really happy with the fact that i’m focussing on the wonderful things that this world has to offer, instead of the negative. Like i was saying to the hubbster  just yesterday, as he stood by the patio door and looked up to the skies..you are given 100 years (if ya lucky) to enjoy and make the most of your time on this lovely little earth ball. People forget the bigger picture. We’re all little giggly aliens residing together in a juicy ball suspended in the universe. I’m learning that folk tend to create and make their own drama that doesn’t really matter when it comes to the crunch of what life is about. Once you learn what life is about, then not only will you prosper, but you will be the happiest little kitty cat alive. When you’re happy…you can conquer the entire world.

Yesterday ended up being more productive than i predicted. (Well done me.) There i was thinking i’d toss it off with a jolly bit of laziness. But no! I worked hard, did pretty much everything i needed to and oddly impressed myself and i was even drunk. I kinda still have a little bit more to do. A book launch is a giant thing to enjoy, however a giant thing to arrange. Yet I know how lucky i am and well at the end of the day  it’s better to have a bit of nervy stress over  launching your own book, than to have no book at all, right? I’m happy, i’m positive and not letting anyone drag their bundle of drama into Wunna Land because as soon as i let them, they come trundling in with full dramatic force. There’s so many great things going on right now with work and with my jolly home life that i don’t have time to tend to the negative. When that becomes the case, not only do you know life is good, but you know that you finally get the key to success. Not one successful person will ever tell you anything different. I’m not even nearly where i want to be, but i’m on my way there and i LOVE IT!!!! One of the things that i adore about Keiran and i is that we view the world in the exact same manner. We want to do well and will and all it takes is the correct internal adjustments, hope, love and a smile. *Wiggle-wink.* If i can teach you anything today, it would be to enjoy love and life merrily and not be drawn in by those that turn your happy face, into a frown. We’ve been playful, in love and living our fairytale and well i wouldn’t have it any other way. *Hair-toss-giggle*

Anyway, last night (and when my mum had dropped delicious Ruby back home from nursery) Keiran and I were gifted with a little wedding treat by Mama Wunna. Now, we all know i have one of those great mums…in fact a great family…and last night she handed me a little brown envelope to open, for Keiran and I..out of love. I adore my mum and i thanked her thoroughly for her support. My parents really love Keiran and can’t wait for him to a full member of the family…as i will his and that little gesture meant the world and mainly because it showed me that she loved and couldn’t wait for our union. Awwww!

Other than all that, i’ve got a bit more book launching to do and a lot more inviting to do. I’m really excited to fun it up with everyone. Those of you coming will get to enjoy a few familiar faces, then get cocktailed up by bunny girls in the name of true Wunna love. I’m nervous for no real reason, other than wanting everyone to have a great time. But i’m sure it will go down a treat! Woohoo! I can’t wait! (Even if @jamiedorrington who is in charge of helping me…decides to get road rage and question his sexuality before 5.15pm. lol I have a great team.)

I don’t have much to report just yet because the day has just begun…but remember to make the most of your 100 years. Why? Well because you’ll regret it when if you don’t and won’t ever be able to get that time back.

Thank you for all your messages. I’ll check in later…when more things decide to occur. *Blows you a kiss.*

Picture of my little ‘IT’ baby attempting to sneak into the ‘banned from’ kitchen this morning, with her peeky toes. I adore her…even if her sincere love for ‘Cheesy Puffs’ gets the better of her judgement. I’m rubbish and telling her off…instead i take photos of her naughtiness and commit to the ‘don’t think i won’t tell Daddy’ line.

Happy Thursday Wunnarettes! I’m actually remarkably chipper today. The love life is blooming with a fruitful gentle shimmie of love. I have a gorgeous little girl. A remarkable hubby to be and after a bit of a ‘yesterday rest’ and a ‘party for one’ at The Castle in Wakefield, whilst my ‘handsome’ got his his ‘work out’ on life is nothing short of rosy. I’m really happy and proving that no matter what or where you are in life, you can always pick up with a smile, as long as you always know what’s important. I’ve found my ‘va voom,’ i’m back in the game and i’m loving every moment of family life, drizzled over with a glittery work life. In fact, i’m quite nervous about my work life, the book launch organising is terrifying me. Yet i’ve got good friends, who have had their lovely times on your telly box, supporting me and coming over to celebrate life on the 26th of this month to play in Wunna land. That part…i like. The putting it all together (and mainly because i’m one who enjoys everything done for me) is terrifying. But it’ll be fine, right? Well i hope. Who knows! I’m just nervous!

Okay, so yesterday when i was at The Castle in my faux fur and boobs…with rubbish hair. (I can’t for the LIFE of me do my hair and mainly because i’ve never really had to gorwing up in LA. It was always done for me, during my modelling days and well Keiran actually does my hair, BETTER than i do. He can whop in rollers for me in a second and do it thoroughly with panache. He’s just one of those good at everything guys, no matter what it is. I like that about him because i’m one of those rubbish at everything girls, yet lucky when it comes to life, i guess?) I don’t thing he’ll leave me unattended again, for a ‘party for one’ anytime soon. I think i was suppose to eat, as he worked out his legs across. I sat infront of a burning fire place and purchased a packet of crisps and a red wine. In fact 2 red wines, instead of doing food. Not because i was hungry, but mainly because i just didn’t want to do a full few courses on my own. When we eat, we do the whole shabbam.  I couldn’t do it on my own. It felt pointless. I thinking eating is to be celebrated with others because warm food and good food is one of those life treasures that we have on this earth, that really shouldn’t be taken for granted. But he popped back in after an hour and after a cuddle we ordered a starter and a main and made ‘happy talk’ by the fireplace with love. The great thing (and we did discuss this) is that no-one really knows us (aside from maybe 2 people) the way we know each other. With both of us there is a ‘Chrissie Wunna’ and a ‘Team Keiran.’ Most know us as that, even our friends. Yet we love each other for being just little Chrissie and my baby boy Keiran. It’s a lovely kind of love and that’s how i always want it to stay..forever. He told me over again (probably to reassure me and because it was the truth) how much he loved me, how i was absolutely his forever, how beautiful he thought i was and how he couldn’t imagine being without me. I feel the exact same way and when the man of your dreams, looks at you and tells you that, as a kitty cat, a girl, a doll, you feel filled with life and love. I mean he even read out a poem he wrote me and it slowly lifted me back up to ‘chipper.’ When i’m down, even if he has aided the ‘down’..he’ll always try and cheer me up and well that my dollies is the sign that he is a truely loving man. (I was actually on the loo when he re-read the poem out. ) I love the ‘moments,’ we have and well i tell you the tale of our bubble, simply to inspire. Meaning, if you are a lady and you feel like you aren’t maybe getting treated the way you wish you were…know that there are great men out there. We ALL balls things up at times, yet it’s always about how fast you recover from it…and with love. I’m happy we’re doing well. It certainly made my morning ‘lie in’ beautiful. You know when you just lay there alone, smiling at life and because you feel 100% content. I love those moments! It’s weird because i couldn’t be without him. We’re both quite possessive and we’re both quite passionate. But at the end of the day, we both want to be loved…loved madly…and we give each other that because no matter what events occur, we look and we find each other back in the bubble in no time at all. I love it!! (He’s at work today in London, so i’m having a productive day at home. Book launch organising kills me. lol)

On a more creepy note!! Last night, i decided to tend to one of my impulsive, stupid late night ‘i’ve run out of mentols’ walks!! I did one the other evening also..in the rain, like a twat and out of anger. But last night, i tended to one, after a bit of a burger and OH MY GOD…girls, i will never EVER do that again.

Right..i’m used to people stopping me, when i’m on my own. I get boys pulling over trying to talk to me, or strutting up to me and trying to make converstion, be it in reallife or be it in cyberland.. it can be anywhere…but always when i’m on my own. I’m sooo used to it, especially from living in Hollywood…that i’m IMMUNE to it. Like it takes a lot for a guy to get my attention or make me feel scared.

Last night…(and i live in a village where all shops but one, closes at 10pm,) i went for that walk. After 10pm and to the only shop that was open. In the dark, in the rain…and with NO PHONE on me. It’s not that far away, but certainly a walk and all the way there it was pretty much fine. I sauntered up, in my own head really, dripped in raindrops and love..oh and in a beige faux fur.

The beginning of the way back, was dark, rainy but fine. The odd car, the odd person, but i didn’t even really noticed much of anything. Half way home, a white pick up truck, with orange flashing lights, drives past me (i think NOTHING OF IT.) It beeps at me. It drives past and i’m not bothered, concerned or even looking. I’m used to it. Within the next 3 minutes, what i know now to be the same white pick up truck, drives past me again and pulls into a road that i’m about to cross by. I see him, stopping, pausing and looking, but as i approach that part of my walk, he’s driven onward…so again i think nothing. I GET TO that particular road only to find that he’s done a U-Turn and is waiting there, doing nothing…and very kindly asking me if i need a lift home. ‘Are you okay? Do you need a lift? Where are you going?’

I briefly looked at him and with a ‘no, i’m fine thank you…i only live up here,’ i sort of made out that i lived 4 doors away and carried on walking. I still think nothing of it all. But no matter how kind, i’m not stupid enough to get into someone’s car. He drives off.

A minute later, i’m still walking home, he’s turned around, passes me again in the white truck, now going int he other direction…and watching me. I obviously didn’t live 4 doors away. It was more like 54 doors away. He does nothing and drives past and I’m now finding it a bit uneasy. He now knows, i have a walk.

I’m picking up my footing, but keeping calm, i’m passing people and i’m so grateful for people being around me. Old men who had just come back from choir practice, people in cars, people at bus stops, i’d never felt so happy to have life around me and because i didn’t have that far to go anymore. All i kept thinking about was Keiran and maybe because i didn’t have my phone to call him and didn’t feel fully safe. BUT, at this time i’m still fine…UNTIL HE AGAIN waits until everyone has walked by me and then curb crawls up, hangs out of his window and then creepily says ‘You’re beautiful, you look like a girl that’s looking for trouble.’

I look at him, like i’m not at all terrified. (I was sooo fucking terrified and i don’t even know why, because i never am…i’m used to it. But he creeped me out.) Anyway, i just look at him…i’m still walking…he’s curb crawling and i say, ‘No thanks. I don’t know any girl that’s ever looking for trouble.’ He turns off into a side street. i walk no now properly shitting myeslf, to the point where i’m now noticing it’s dark. I’m now noticing, it’s raining. I’m now noticing that i’m alone, that i have no phone on me at all and that i’m scared. But trying to hide it. Ahead of me is a pub and i’m that uneasy that i take a minute to head toward it…just to feel a bit safer and be around people…even though i knew i had a walk.

What d’ya know! As i’m by the pub, about to make like i’m going to walk to it. He’s there on the road again and pulling into the parking area of the pub…like he KNEW what i would do. UGH!!! I go into the pub doorway…and ofcourse, they’re closing, not letting anymore people in and fluttering people out.

I’m forced to walk out with everyone…all of them were smoking and walking home. I felt safer, but sods law…they ALL…walk in the opposite direction to me. FUCK! I see the man and the truck there. He’s smoking. I’m HAVING to walk by in his full view because i’m now desperate to get home to Keiran. I walk by…he shouts at me from his truck, asking for a light and beckoning me over. I look at him and tell him that i don’t have one, quite cockily, so i didn’t look scared. But i keep walking.

It’s a very short walk from that point to my home. BUT OH MY GOD, it felt like the longest walk EVER. i’m actually beginning to panic. I hate that i had no phone on me and the walk just seemed to never end. I was literally preparing myself mentally for what might happen here. It was awful and he curb crawl followed me all the way home.

I FINALLY got to my street, as he was muttering things at me, that i couldn’t really hear. I’ve told him i’m going home to see my husband. As soon as i turn right and walk into my estate…he speeds off into the distance and i RUN into my house, lock up, turn out the lights and into bed with Keiran. OMG! In that moment, i never felt so grateful for having him and so safe. It’s just a awful feeling to have to go through.

I’m in bed, i’m cuddling him and telling him everything and he comforted me, but with a mild anger for the man who decided to make his night about creeping me out. Nothing terrible happened…and i’m soo grateful for that. But it could’ve. I’ve learnt my lesson and will never put myself in a position like that again.

 Girls, no matter how brave you are…DO NOT GO OUT ON YOUR OWN AT NIGHT on walks EVER and NEVER EVER BE ANYWHERE WITHOUT YOUR FRICKING PHONE. I needed to make a safety call and couldn’t due to an impulsive move. Impulsiveness is NOT GOOD EVER. Not just in this situation..but in any. Do not put yourselves in positions, where you could regret your moves. be it with danger, love or life. I have a little girl and i thought if that ever happened to her, i’d die! How stupid, was I!!!! I mean, i’m never one to promote living in fear at all. I’m a go getter, a risk taker. BUT, when you have people who you love and who love you back so deeply…it’s never worth the risk. They say ‘people are only afraid to die, when they actually have something to lose in life,’ and i certainly certainly do.

Be safe. Be loved, make correct decisions and marry a man that will protect you. (If i had called Keiran and just for a safety call…he would’ve launched out of our bedsheets, half naked with his golf clubs and clobbered him..and sometimes that’s what you need.)

On the whole, i’m happy and grateful for what i have and thankful for life and for not making anymore stupid decisions! Have a glorious day!

I love you.

*Back to book launch organising.

GOD!! Why can’t any do their fricking JOB! It’s sooo annoying. I’m havin one of those merry days of vent, due to be being terribly exhausted with companies and well people not being able to make an important return phonecall, process financial information properly, mail things out on time, deliver ‘paid for’ material, get account details correctly, do as they promised they would, excell in their place of work or just function in an appropriate manner, making MY LIFE much much easier, meaning that Wunna Land time is NOT wasted on chasing good folk (who haven’t managed to appropriately function in their area of expertise) around in order to cream over a ‘hiccup’ and create a solution. ANNOYING! (I’m currently all stressed out due to an actual lovely man named ‘Tarik’ popping over to my patio door, after i saw him wondering around my garden, by a shed and having a mildy heated conversation about how i’m not Mr. Sly, how i have no clue who Mr. Sly is…AND why my bank details were not appropriately noted…in order to make an account run smoothly.)

Apparently if you sleep on the left hand side of the bed (and i do) you’ve meant to be cheery and well today, i am certainly NOT.

My body is all an achey, i’m stressed, i’m tired, i have a bruise on my face that the lovely Estee Lauder Gods have managed to conceal and well i feel as though i’m taking this bizarre ‘bumpy-bruisey’ rocky path of ‘gerrump,’ along the arrows of pretty life, (fun) when all i want is a happy and somewhat delicious cozy satin glide. Yeah, i’m aware it’s just a phase, but everytime i feel like i should, or i am over the moon with ‘yeehaaa’…the Good Lord, looks down on me and with a ‘not so fast little one’ fucks with me, for a bit of a laugh and a bit of a tickle. UGH!

I think i need a bit of cherishing and to feel adored once more, calm and delighted. I want to be treated, meeted and fairly wiggled with glee. My heads all a fuzz and i’d give anything to have it all cleared out and oozed.

I have plenty to be happy about, yet the niggly things that get to you, are always the most annoying.

I have every faith that i will shortly get back to normal. Yet probably not without wine and a whole lot of grooming. I mean i don’t even feel ‘yummy’ anymore. I feel all haggered plain, unattractive and down. I guess i need to find a way to shake off my case of ‘da blues.’

I’m taking the time today to unwind. I am soooo massively annoyed. UGH!!!!!!

 (Half and hour later)

Okay..i’m a bit more cheery now and probably because i ‘blogged’ it out. I forgot to tell you (and don’t worry, this part is quite fairytale) i had a perfect little moment last night. After a bit of spicy chicken and garlic bread, my lovely ‘Handsome Keiran’ and I had a romantic ‘slow dance’ under the chandelier, in the middle of the living room, out of love yesterday evening. I remember looking in the mirror at him and thinking we were perfect.I guess it’s those moments that make everything fairytale. I love it….then we went back to watching vampires. )

Well I hope you all had a lovely bank holiday. For those of you that did…congratulations. For those of you that didn’t…know that it’s nothing a wine can’t fix. I stayed home and looked after my tiny baby Ruby. Don’t get me wrong, my inner ‘party girl’ was a calling and determined to burst her way through. However, at the end of the day, nothing in this world is a greater gift than having your little one, look at you with a smile and call you a ‘cat’…whilst doing a claw and a ‘rawr’ sound. I’m loving the ‘better choices’ version of me. I’ve really managed to pull my glittery self together, grow up, find my dignity and be a greater, more loving version of myself. We all know that i adore a wine and any life event possible, that allows me to slip into sequins and stilettos. Yet now i do it with a plush flair of ‘glammy glow,’ rather than puking up a lost tequila shot, by an alley way, as some loser boy tries to make me go home with him. I’m in a good place and when you’re in a good place, great things happen. Even though i didn’t do much over the Bank Holiday, i will say that i spent it with my ‘handsome’ and my bambino ‘B’Doobie. (What i call Rubes.) To me that’s all that matters. Keiran surprised me with the most beautiful bunch of flowers and well treated me to drinks, dinner and heart to hearts. You’ve got to love a boy that ventures off to the gym and returns with fleurs for his lady. It’s romantic, perfect and just how i wish to be cherished. Keiran and I have learnt a lot about life with each other andwell infact learnt a lot about each other in general. But most of all we’ve learnt about love. Yeah, we may fight, we may on occasion bicker. (We’re both fire signs and both exactly the same.) However at the end of the day, we’re always there for each other, due to our bond being so strong. I’d say we were the love of each other’s lives. I always one to reach for that and hold it close to my heart. Today we decided to ‘hang up our gloves’ because we’re weirdly terribly sensitive, we both don’t like the idea of the other maybe being taken away from us, but take it out on each other. We are soulmates, great lovers and best friends with a wonderful future and therefore we’re no longer going to bicker. When we’re good we’re GREAT and that’s the way we both need it to be from now on. When it comes down to relationships, it’s what’s done that matters, rather than what’s said. I’m learning this with Keiran. I’m the Queen of feist and far too emotional for my own good and well he’s the King of ‘saying things he doesn’t mean’ when he’s feeling rather angry. But this morning, we cuddled like we loved nothing more in this world than each other. I think, well i hope that we’re teaching one another what an unconditional love is and in that little box, we’re actually doing really well. I’m in love, i’m happy and we love being the little family that we are. Rubes is amazing.

I’m sorry if this blog’s shit, but i’m trying to remember what has happened over the last few days. It’s kinda all in ‘flashback’ form. One minute i’m playing with Rubes, the next i’m enjoying wine with a glorious dinner with my ‘handsome,’ the next i’m on the phone to Gay Adam sorting out his love life and then there i am again, doing a double Tequila with lunch. I’ve loved, i’ve thrown giant champagne bottles at people, i’ve been mildy strangled, i’ve screamed, i’ve laughed, i’ve felt over the moon, i’ve felt terrified, i’ve managed to get thrown out of a home, only to land on my face in the rain, whilst getting locked out, i’ve been cuddled,  i’ve broken a nail, i’ve giggled with my daughter, i’ve told Keiran how much i love him and well…now i can’t at all move my body, due to it killing. (Well done Wunna.) I’m ofcourse doing the ‘brave face’ thing, but i’m certainly quite *ouchy* right now. But whatever, after a few days and a bit of love, i’ll be right as rain. I think i’m not feeling so attractive anymore? I feel…i don’t know?

I can’t right the rest of this blog, because i need a bit of a lie down. But i can’t wait to see Rubes. I love my hubby to be greatly. I finally recieved the copy of my book today. (I’m excited that i can tick that little box with a ‘hell yeah, i did it.’ But even when i achieve, i feel like i need to conquer MORE. I’ve ‘ticked’ the box and well i’m moving onto the next venture.)

I hope you’re all well and i hope you’re loving every little bit of life. This morning when i woke up, i felt grateful for another day on this earth. I was happy, i felt strong and well in life when you can overcome anything and appreciate the beauty around you…then you are successful human being.

Okay, so i couldn’t blog all yesterday because i was far too busy being a cow and i don’t mean mooing on all fours my fences, letting strangers milk my udders…i just mean hormonal. I woke up feeling all fuzzy and ‘ugh’…when i feel like that and when i’m having an ‘off button’ day, i’m no use to anyone…and well the morning time in Wunna land was not that fun for my very ‘handsome’ Keiran. My mind hurt, my bum hurt, my world was just an ouchy away from a plaster. Then i had wine over chicken wraps, meatballs and lunchy fresh kisses and Wunna land perked up once more. I aplogised for being a bit of a ‘grizzle bear’ (hormones and periods are not a fun combination…with tits and great hair) and we leapt straight back into ‘fairytale,’ infact so far back to ‘fairytale’ that we swooned with love, romance and ‘can’t WAIT to marry’ you’s. Then i made him chicken with a bit of steamy veg. The day began by me pulling faces by white vans (Keiran’s buying one because he doesn’t want to kip in a tent when his security company work the festivals) and it ended with a topless cuddling, utter happiness and then after putting baby Ruby to ‘nighty night’ hot quick sex, filled with a delicious dollop of role play. I LOVE turning Keiran on, but more importantly, i love that i am able to turn him on and quickly. We have great ‘rumpy’..which makes our romance sizzle. I love him mucho mucho. I can’t wait to roll out the wedding and finally become his wifey. (Fyi/ I don’t look good by white vans, in the rain. I wore this master of a cream fur coat…one that leaves a fur trail wherever i go. When it’s gloomy…and i’m in a yard filled with vans, i kinda just look like a twat…with tits. )

Today looks like it’s going to be hectic. I’ve got sooo much to tend to and no-one is fricking calling me back. The wedding venue. No call back. The new computer. No call back. The agent. No call back. The ‘everything for crying out loud’ even….no call back. I’ve woken up, had a hectic mummy morning with Ruby sitting on my face and then pulling my eyelashes off, then demanding to play in my knickers whilst i wee and tend to ‘red’ time of the month and then cry because i won’t let her. The only thing that made her cheery was a crumpet, playing in the garden (i taught her not to eact Ladybirds today #wahey) and Keiran. If i tell Ruby off, she’ll throw me daggers, slap me and put on her headband with a ‘Diva.’ If he tells her off, she’ll weep, listen then cuddle him like her life depends on his love. Lol. Being a Glamour Puss and a mummy isn’t always easy. Yet it’s great when you find yourself eyelining, whilst you have a giggling one year old yanking your hair out your head, and poking her finger in your left nipple for fun, whilst calling you a ‘cat-cat.’ Garden time was great. I mean, she looked at me and picked her first ever flower with a smile and total giddy amazement. Moments like that mean i can bronze later. But yes, today i predict i will go mental. Yippeee. (I’m taking us out for lunch.)

On the book front…well Gay Adam texts me this morning all excited with feathers and because ‘Diaires of a Glamour Puss’ (my book) had arrived on his doorstep this morning. He bought the last one in stock on Amazon and had it ‘next dayed’…he got it today and well i’m really really loving that! HOWEVER…i haven’t EVEN been sent my own personal copies from my publisher or agent yet! How insane is that! I HAVEN’T EVEN  touched a copy of MY OWN BOOK yet and people are already buying and reading it. That can’t be right? I’m frustrated because i’m dying to get a copy. I don’t even know what’s happening? I do know that i’m not going to do major promo for it yet, until the launch…i’ll do a bit of radio, a bit of ‘magaziney’ and a bit of ‘daytime telly’ before it…then during the sunny months, i’ll trollop on tour.

For those of you who have bought copies of my book…thank you soooo much! If you haven’t recieved yours yet…i am super dooper sorry and hope you get it soon! (I’m in the exact same boat as you.) I think they’ve pro-longed pre-order due to it selling out and the launch party not being until May 26th (at Bed nightclub 10pm…BE THERE.) I just want my own copy and i kinda want it NOW!!! *Fluster bronze here.* Gay Adam( @AdamParnell ) got one before ME!!!

I’m happy, i’m in love, Keiran is the most loving man in this entire world, he is being soo lovely to me and well every day i’m grateful for him being in my life and well he looked at me yesterday and said, ‘I am soo lucky to have you. You’re beautiful, you’re loving, you look after me…i love you.’ Ruby is growing up fast and well…it’s my time of the month Dollies. Helllooo hormones!

Buy my book. (Look to the right…and click on the box.)

Mornin my chickadees! I had an absolutely delicious yesterday filled with love, laughter, cuddles and dreams. Keiran and I are over the moon at how our tale is unfolding. We’ve never been so in love and well last night, we laid in bed, wrapped in each others arms, talked about life, our future, how much we loved each other and how funny it is that Cupid has made us find each other…finally. He looked at me and told me how beautiful i was and how i couldn’t think of a better girl to make his wife and i told him how much i loved him deeply, how impressed, inspired and amazed i was and am by him and whilst i cuddled him and we reminissed about our love…i told him that i would love him forever. He is literally the man that i have searched for my entire life. I mean, i never ever thought that i would ever find a man that i would champion as much as i do Keiran. It feels great because no matter what, we always choose each other. I’m going to grow old with him and celebrate our successes. In fact, before i even met him, i would blog that when i was actually impressed by a man, (and i never ever was) then i would whole heartedly love that man and marry him. He swaggered in. He impressed me. But 9 months on…he is still being impressive and well when you find your utter soulmate, you just don’t leave that behind. I mean, last night, whilst sat on the sofa, watching Peter Andre and drunken soap stars, we tickled and kissed my back. OMG, a simple tickle from this boy sends a tingle through my entire body. It’s sexy. Now, i’ve always said that alongside our love, we have an amazing sex life. Even our normal sex, oozes ‘ooh laa.’ We could write a book on it. We just know how to turn each other on and well we’re so well connected that nothing can beat our rumpy. Keiran’s extremely good at ‘loving on my body’…and well when i ‘put my back into it’ instead of being old and falling down flights of stairs in faux fur slippers and ‘putting my back OUT’…i’m quite delicious too. We’re best friends, lovers, each others rock and fairytale. We love hard, work hard and well as Wazza once told me, you never want to look over to your left in bed and think ‘I can probably do better.’ Lol. It’s installed in men to want the hottest wife, the fastest car, the best home and make the most money and i’m glad that i’m his ‘hottest wife’ in that equation. Women want to be cherished, adored and romanced by the most beautiful man, who ticks ever box, loves, honours and protects her enough to make every other girl wish that they had the same. He’s that for me and dollies i love it. Men will be jealous if you have a more yummy wife than them and women will hate if they have to watch and hear another girl being thoroughly romanced. The good thing is that we keep ourselves away from the drama, keep it simple and love. To us, OUR relationship is the relationship that matters…and that is the key to every great union. The good people will be inspired by our ‘fairytale’ and they’re the people i care to keep around me. Our love is based upon a series of magical moments. Moments are everything and the things you cherish, when you’re an oldie.

Now i think about it, i’m actually a girl that pretty much thinks all good moments are only made great when shared. There’s no point in doing amazing things and having a quiet ‘party for one.’ If i’m filming, working or anything…i’ll always have someone i care about with me. I take Keiran everywhere with me. But even when i was single in London…i’d always turn up with a good friend, or a good gay to enjoy my moment with. I want our love to inspire others and to help people realize that it’s really out there for everybody. Even if you don’t want it to be…it will probably come anyway. Open your hearts to love, being loved and giving love. Have a cocktail with it and it turns delicious.You might as well keep it bouji. I mean, i don’t want you to think i’m a wet mess. I’m a glamourous, together kitty cat these days and well if i can achieve and enjoy a ‘fairytale’ then really ANYONE can.

Okay…mushy stuff over. Yesterday my handsome and i decided to grab a little lunchy at Ask, simply because we enjoy a good ‘eat out’ and when they have butterfly prawns that could make any wink sizlze, you have to return with a ‘gimme gimme’ and a wine. We’re actually creatures of habit. We go to the same places, order the same thing and enjoy the same company. Like i always say we’re completely similar in every way. But you can always trust a man, who is a creature of habit. They’re men who know a good thing when they’ve got it and once they’ve got it they rarely ever stray. Be it with butterfly prawns, or boobie beauties.

Anyway, we spent the entire time talking about a ‘maybe’ move to Hollywood. I’ve lived there pretty much all of my grown up life and well now that we have work opportunities out there, we pretty much pondered over pasta and with a ‘fuck it…lets do it’ we decided that Hollywood would probably be a jolly good move. It’snot everyday people can make that move, yet in Wunna land…we can. I’m an Angeleno at heart and well life in LA is pretty much filled with all our dreams come true. We’d get to move into our home of ‘ooh laa,’ frolock in the sun, work in entertainment, have our families there and make our absolute dreams come true. Plus, they adore us out there. I mean, our chapters in life get crazier and crazier, just when we think we’ve managed to get over the last bit of ‘omg-dreams coming trueage’…something else pops up with a shimmie and we find ourselves moving to LA! It’d be good to show Keiran my world. I have wonderful friends out there, a wonderful life. At first we’ll tango the both countries…as we have mucho work out here right now…and then we’ll settle in the town of tinsel. Woohoo! (Keiran’s taking all of this really well. There’s so much with the book, the launch, the tour, the show, the movie and his company going on right now…that it’ s overwhelming,. The key is to enjoy it and let life happen. Don’t fit it, dance with it. Alongside that we have parent duties and a wedding to celebrate. Busy year of work, signings and more work. However next year will be our results year!)

Anyway, i have to go, as i’ve got kitty cat duties to tend to..and tumble drying. We’re going to jolly over into town today to enjoy more lunching, pouting and ‘fairytale.’ Make sure you make you’re life worth it. I know you are…so celebrate. x

Well it’s not even nearly noon and i’ve already managed to fall down the stairs, in a pair of pink joggers, with my BABY RUBY in my arms, poo down my leg and with a cuppa tea in my hands, that pretty much launched through the air and smashed around shoes and golf clubs.

The good thing is that ‘Handsome Keiran’ came to the rescue and little baby Ruby is giggly fit, well and unscathed. (I only fell down 4 steps..but managed to tipple topple like it was  CLIFF DROP. If you’re gonna fall do it right…and glamourously.) The funny thing is that Ruby, my ONE year old, shook it off with a smile and got ready for nursery with a chipper ‘ooh i love my headband,’ and grown up ‘Chrissie Wunna’ (in the fashion of a 5 year old, who had just had a pack of sweets taken off her) moaned, little girl squealed, wiggled up the stairs, launched herself on the bed, face down and WEEPED for England, as Keiran rubbed her back. (I have no idea why i’ve just talked about myself in the third person. #loser)

Anyway, we’re all a giggle now, laughing it off and celebrating life with new cups of tea. I think the shock of the tumble, the fact that i had Rubes in my arms got the better of me. The lucky thing was that Rubes had managed to do a giantor morning poo poo and due to my ‘weepy-weepy-ooh-aar’ Keiran had to change her nappy. Yippee! I should launch myself down the stairs more often. I actually slipped on my own white faux fur, fluffy slipper. Only a hottie could do that.

Okay, lots going on. I’m dreaming of swinging up that ladder of success. I should get my personal copy of the book today and i’m in shock and crazy happy that it’s actually selling really well on Pre-order. I mean, it’s managed to sell out TWICE. It sort of makes me giggle, as i have no idea why? But then the other part of me is ‘happy dancing’ with a ‘FUCK YEAH.’ It just feels like a massive achievement. There i was 6 years ago, blogging away in Hollywood, for nothing, no reason, just fun and here i am now with it about to go on sale in all major bookstores and selling out twice on pre-sale. WTF? I now can’t WAIT for the book launch, as it’s the first time i’m actually going to meet the fans, with not just my boobs and a Hilton reputation, but with the book of my life..for sale. I’m gonna sit, sign and guzzle champagne on a bouji, glamourous bed booth. I can’t wait to see you all there. I love that i’m gonna have to do the entire night dressed as a bunny girl. It’s like ‘Bridget Jones,’ but dirtier.

My love life is currently tremendous! Keiran and I are madly in love and doing ‘fairytale’ perfectly. I’m gla di have him in my life…even though he tried to pretend stab me by onions for fun, got obsessed with the ‘Humpty Dumpty’ BGT Geisha girl and found the need to sing it to me repeatedly, whilst telling me my nose was Frank Bruno and my vagina was like Tony Blair. Our relationship is playful, innocent and wonderful. Yet were destined for great things! I mean i’ve just got off the phone to ‘DK’ in LA, who is directing the movie of my life…He adores Keiran and I (and my baby Ruby) and well i’m really grateful  that because of him we have a Hollywood a knocking. I enjoy how fast everything moves in LA. You can leave that town with a wiggle and a wink and re-enter it a bit later with a ‘Hi, here’s the movie of my life.’ DK believes Keiran, should have his own planet and i think after we’ve tackled all the things we’ve got going on here, and signed off on all the things we need to sign off on…a trip to Hollywood for a lovely chunk of work is on the cards. How exciting! Fair enough we are at a head start due to me living there for an almost decade and knowing it and everyone like the back of my hand and them knowing me due to my nuisancing.  But at the end of the day, we’re a couple from Yorkshire, accidentally making their dreams come true. Why because we put ourselves out there with hope and positivity. Two days ago i was looking at homes on Google. Grand ones, where i could see my little family residing forever. I want glamourous, ginormous, Hollywood-looking mansion. Now that bit of dream doesn’t at all seem unreachable. It’s insane! (Lord knows how Keiran is taking any of this! But what can you do, but enjoy it! Everything happens for a reason. We’re quite a good catch for one another. Jolly unbeatable methinks! I likey!)

Wonderful things are happening…it’s just darn crazy! Dreams really do come true. Why be a small town hero, when you can pretty much take over the world…with a wink. I’ll check in later. I’ve got a work phonecall to make.

You can also Pre-Order my book on the Waterstones website, if you prefer. Click the link and enjoy! xx

http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/products/chrissie+wunna/elaine+sharples/diaries+of+a+glamour+puss+model/9120323/

Hopefullly i’ll be able to get through this blog, without my laptop conking out on me, with a distinct lack of *wiggle* and an attitude problem that even I can’t seem to gift wrap in kitty cat joy. Yesterday was a wonderful day of love. Keiran and I are really ‘full steam ahead’ with ‘the bubble’ now. I’ve found my utter soulmate and when you have, all you have left to do is give them a cuddle and enjoy the rest of your lives together. We want to do well…and we will. However, this week and because i can’t believe it’s May, i’m going to let life tango it’s natural flow of ‘ooh laa’ for us. I can’t wait for the wedding and the book launch party. I’m actually adoring my book (which you can buy on pre-order..hint hint.) I want to make my mark on this pretty little world and well i’m in love. When i’m in love…i’m alive and weirdly far more obedient now, than i was in my early days. However saying that, i didn’t really need to be obedient in Hollywood. I just had to be glitzy and because I was applauded by my masses, for being an absolute twat. (I really need to get my book launch party invites out.)

I will tell you that i’ve had NO sleep due to my darling little daughter of ‘ooh laa’…deciding to scream and tantrum through the entire night. Fun. Lol. But whatever, i still managed a brief morning ‘updo’ and eyeline, before tinkering her to nursery with my ‘handsome-handsome’ hubby to be. I’m really wanting to get stuck into wedding planning now, which may seem normal to you. But know that i have had the opportunity to get properly into planning a wedding a couple times before, but i wasn’t ever bothered. I found it a hassle. I remember Jason Wood, a giant Hollywood casting director and friend, who attended my first ‘i do’ shindig. He looked at me, told me off for having confetti on my McClintock dress, took my champagne off me and told me that i was the worst bride ever because my soul didn’t seem that excited. This time and because it’s RIGHT, i secretly can’t WAIT. That’s how i know Keiran’s my forever. We lunched in the sun yesterday, cuddled and giggled at life. He took mongey photos of me, whilst i adorned his cap, with my diamantes, i treated him to a jolly good blow job and then decided to fold the clean washing up, with a red wine. (Note: Watching ‘Real Housewives’ with a wine, makes folding washing so much easier. ‘Real Housewives’ is my favourite show.)

Today it’s raining, so i guess it’s another chill day. I seem to have everyone running around trying to make ‘Diaries of a Glamour Puss’ a huge success. I apparently get my personal copy tomorrow. I want it NOW! I’m keeping a smile on my face, keeping life simple and staying gloriously positive. Yet i am feeling old. I mean, i’ve crossed that line from ‘little foolish girl’ to ‘oldie.’ On the inside it feels good. Nothing feels sexier than the feeling of being ‘wiser now.’ I’m all ‘hot mama-rah-rah’ now and well it’s sooo yummy, that no other kitten with a touch of ‘le bitter’ can even get near my ‘ooh laa.’ HOWEVER…i can’t fit into my booty shorts and now never have time to do my hair, due to work, work work and mummy land.  (What kind of a Glamour Puss AM I!!!) The external part of me is all a wish-wash. Yet saying that, i don’t think i look too bad as a bunny.  I intend to commit to the transition from girl to woman, with a deliciously sexy, and pretty classy (and maybe a bit hoochie ) glow. Which reminds me, i got the most lovely tweet the other evening from a beautiful blond girl in Cardiff. A Glamour puss at heart and a blond, who usually only loves blonds. However, she Tweeted me a bit of love, stating that she thought i was a beauty, ‘classy’ and ‘glamourous’ and couldn’t wait for my book. I find her delightful. What a lovely little kitten, ! I love her. I mean, when i hear of girls bad mouthing me when they don’t really know me, (and it happens all the time *yawn*) it makes me laugh, because it shows you how they actually feel on the inside. However, this girl radiates love, confidence and the kinda girl that i will always have time for. Be beautiful on the inside because that’s the only thing that makes your bronzer glow. Champagne works too. Be inspired by those who do well in life, instead of using them, or hating on them for no real reason but ‘ugh.’ It’s ugly and makes your outfit, look far less delicious.

The Tweet:

‘IM A BLONDE WHO USUALLY LOVES BLONDES, BUT YOU ARE THE ONLY BRUNETTE I WILL EVER LOVE! SO CLASSY SO GLAMOUROUS! LOVE IT! X X’

I’m super excited about life, but I don’t actually have too much to report, so i won’t bore you, with pointless jibber jabber. Oh but, the above bit of ‘picture taking’ was taken by photographer extra-ordinaire ‘Nathan D’Amour’…GREAT moment capturer, truely creative genius. The shoot venue was ‘Bed’ nightclub Leeds and that booth, is an actual VIP bed booth, where you, the lovely public, will be able to drink, party, play and lay around with me, on May 26th…with cocktails! Yay!

I love you, life is good.