Afternoon my little peeks of porky pie. I woke up this morning feeling on top of the world, after a rather ‘dramatic’ day before of that jolly old feeling we girls often tango with…insecurity. Yippeee! A little something occured, during the morning of yesterday, that made me feel uneasy. My ‘handsome’ decided to read me out a message that made me remember how many undecent people there are in the world, and just like that, i hit *panic* button, felt lost, questioned my merry stability and got all terrified of being hurt. Luckily in this world we have wine. Lots of it. After a bit of the old ‘love juice,’ a nap, hours of pulling faces, stomping around in my boobies, diamantes and weeping. I realized (whilst Tom Cruise was on horseback with the Japanese) i realized that if you love a man, cherish him, make him feel like you trust him wholeheartedly with love, then they feel alive and like they can conquer the world. Very rarely then…unless you’re dating a complete dick (and not the good kind) a man will let you down. Now, i’m not saying that either of us are wonderful,we are both senstives, who want more than anything to be adored. Yet we really do take everything out on each other at times and well i hope we’ve both learnt that that behaviour is never okay. If you have the partner of your dreams, then you’re lucky. People search for that type of unity their entire lives. We’re lucky and i’m now feeling marvellous. Yesterday i felt like my internal security was toyed with. But then i realized that i’m probably the best little chick in this entire world. *Wiggle-wink* Thank you rum, you saved the day. I’m glad i feel much better now. I mean you know you’re an idol when you have your picture taken by bacon. This morning and due to builders…i scored a free ‘breaky in a box’ and then had a fan want a photo opp…by fried food. I’m certainly A-list. I hope the lofty heights of fame don’t go to my head.
Lots to do today. I read through my publishing contract this morning on the sofa and got really excited about the whole book thing. I can’t believe this little blog, has got me a big old book deal, and on a bit of white paper, it states that my ‘Diaires’ will be found on the shelves of all major bookstores worldwide, in many foreign languages and maybe be turned into a film. What?? Like i Tweeted last night..behind the makeup, cheap jewellery and slanty eyes, there’s just a girl that wishes for the world. Everytime i felt shitty, there was a tweet from a lovely human being of the world, that made me feel like i had a purpose once more. [Glitter exploison here.]
Book. Book Tour. Book signings. Raido/Tv tour. Launch party. Club tour. Tv pitch. That’s my cuurent life. Add baby Ruby, Handsome Keiran, a wedding and my little glitzy fingers crossed and you have it all. I think? And drama. I’m back in the bubble today. However, my handsome is still slowly side stepping in. We’re a funny old couple. I want him to feel cherished. Last night he asked me if i just wanted to marry him because i decided to chose a random good looking boy, to be my forever and he just so happened to be in the right place at the right time. We were laid in bed, it was dark and i was naked looking at my wall shadow. I replied with an:
‘I’ve had 19 other people ask me to marry them. I’ve said NO to every single one of them. I said yes to you because i love you, i trust you and you are the man of my dreams. I would NEVER just marry a man because he has a tan and a boyband hair cut. (No offense there, to the one with the tan and the boyband haircut.) You don’t choose a forever on looks, because looks are forever. They fade. If you choose a person on their goodness of their heart, then it will last forever, well until their heart stops beating.’
Then i must’ve passed out on my rum, with milk by my bed because i can’t remember what happened then? All that matters is that i woke up happy.
Like i said, i’ve got a lot to do. My head is buzzing. I have words to write for the 2nd book, parties to organize, and a bundle of work that terrifies me. I’m getting really excited now and really hoping it all works out.
I’m adoring your messages, they make me feel alive. I love you. I love life and i thank you all for it.
Hope you have a good day and i hope you single girls have asked you handsome to marry you today! It’s been all over the telly and it’ smaking me fill up with love. Apart from when i totally missed what was going on, on This Morning and tuned in too late where couples seemed to be randomly feeling each other up? (‘No Chrissie the woman have asked the men to marry them! You never did that for me!’) In my defense- I never asked Keiran to marry me simply because he fricking beat me to it. (He’s a bit grizzly today. Hopefully i’ll be able to perk up his mood.) I’ve joked about how our relationship is based upon love, romanbce, magic, honour and threats. Lol. He’s a cute little grizzly. I’ve peeked at him numerous times today and he’s been going MENTAL. One minute he’s yanking paper out of a printer, yelling at it like it’s destroyed his life and then rolling around the floor for no real reason. The next, i’m offering him love and he’s scowling at me from behind a laptop screen, out of pure grizzliness. Lmao. Lord knows what he’ll be up to next. Yet hopefully he’ll find his ‘happy place.’
Hope you have a wonderful day!
Ps/ I love that i thought i had sent a text to Twitter, when i actually sent it to my mum. It read: ‘I’ve just flopped my boob out on Keirans face. It looks like a seal and he now wants to live under my shirt.’
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oopsie! My mum never even mentioned it.