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It’s around 8pm, UK time and not only am I having to eat oranges, in order to aid a rather uncomfortable *clump* of constipation, but i have also decided that i do not enjoy the idea of a Waterpark. Infact, i couldn’t think of anything more horrific then a Waterpark. I swim and all that…don’t get me wrong. I just don’t enjoy parks focused around water. I mean i can’t even cope with attempting to drink 8 glasses of it a day, without reaching for a wine.

I was moseying around a roundabout in Pontefract this afternoon. I was actually being driven, with a McChicken sandwich in my hand, with a smile on my face and whilst performing dance routines to any song that would have me. I think i was telling Loverboy, that i wished i was on The X-factor…but only to do the group song that they do on a Sunday. I feel like i could trip up into it, and find myself singing into a diamante microphone, on a giant platform, for one jolly old ‘LOOK AT ME’ sing-a-long, until they notice i’m there and launch me off stage, whilst I’m screaming ‘This is my MOMENT!!!’

Anyway yeah….nonsense over. Whilst i was dollying about in the passenger seat of a black fiat and roundabouting. Loverboy decides to point out that he can’t apparently WAIT for the new Waterpark to be built in Pontefract? I don’t like boys who love Waterparks and simply because i’m not so keen on such an invention. I’m a glamourous kitty cat kinda girl. I don’t splash with toddlers belonging to others for money. The only Waterpark i ever liked was one that i went to in Florida, and i only liked that because firstly i was IN FLORIDA and secondly I got to wear a pink, boobied, sequinned bikini, whilst drinking not very Disney cocktails, as I sunbathe BY water. I’m not one to enjoy slipping and sliding…especially not in tubes and that was in 90 degree heat! I’ve slipped and slid my way through my entire deliciously bumpy life. To finally be firm footed and be on my way to having everything i ever wanted is an achievement in itself. Waterparks might be fun for some. Yet for me…it’s just messy. It takes me 2 hours to find the right flipping bikini! Why would i throw myself into a giant puddle of water…IN (cold, cold) PONTEFRACT…after being terrified in a plastic tube…only to end up looking like ‘Barbie’..WHO GOT DROWNED?

You’ll never find me paying for such nonsense. Infact, the park i would pay for would be the EXACT opposite. I’d pay to go to a park that resembled rooms that were just filled with fire places. I’d sit and snuggle up by each one, pouting in safety by the flames. Whenever i got too hot, i’d get fanned down and passed a juicy beverage with a spritz. That’s my idea of bliss. Not bad watered down hair and middle aged, pie eating men in speedos, who think splashing me in the face and THROWING me in a public pool, against my will is flirting. TRY BUYING ME DINNER, in candlelight with diamonds in tiny Tiffany boxes, with words that go along the lines of ‘You are beautiful.’ Placing me on a ‘swimming’ date…will NOT get you laid. EVER. It’ll just make your ‘googlies’ shrink and therefore be the utter matter of my ‘next day’ blog for the entire world to read.

Anyway, talking about diamonds, my Mother has just this second sauntered in holding a glittery pink box. This glittery pink boxed, that also had a random elastic band around it, was filled with the diamonds she had bought at the weekend, whilst she was at the Buddhist temple. Lol. How very Buddhist of her. I’d do the same!!

It seems our family jeweller was there and presented my Mother with high quality goods of the DIAMOND variety. Braceletts, bangles, earrings and rings. Twinkling little pieces of ‘ooh laa’..all needing to be loved. My Mother, being My Mother, picked out a couple of tiny pieces that caught her merry eye and ended up spending £6000, in 4 minutes and before she even went to find total enlightenment.

Luckily for me, i am the daughter of such a woman. My IDOL. Therefore, i have also learnt her materialistic ways and have a Glamour pussy eye for all things extravagant. I’ve spent the last few moments trying on all her pieces of diamondy ‘ooh laa,’ turning my bare tan wrists into what we call ‘Princess’ wrists. Every piece was delicious. Every moment was magical. There’s something I find comforting and special with having a wrist delicately weighted down, by a thick and sturdy, chunky diamond piece of magic. It is a trait that i intend to pass on to my daughter. It’s actually a bonding moment that my Mother and i have on occasion…which is the thing that makes it not only important, but special to me. It’s a time of harmony, that we both enjoy with one another. I’ll never forget it.

Anyway, i’m still eating oranges and hoping that i poo soon. (Yay!) I have a another important meeting tomorrow at noon. A re-meet with the people that i met this time last week, that i thought wouldn’t get back to me. Luckily, they did at 10am this morning. Yippee!!! I’m excited…so i’m keeping everything all kinds of crossed. I’m nervous and hoping my charm sails me through.

Since, my last blog, Latin Lover has emailed me telling me that he will now agree to go along with my wishes and not fight me on the past. I like that he’s chosen to be adult about it all. It shows grace. He did say that he wished it could’ve worked and feels as though i ‘gave up’ on him.

I’m not a girly who gives up on anything. But i’m really good at knowing what is bad for me. It may not hit me at first because i’m highly affection, rather too playful and get swept up with romance or the thought that i’m being loved. Yet in the end, i’ll always pull through and make the correct decision. What I KNOW from what i’ve learnt in life, is that there are times when GIVING UP on things is essential, in order to stay walking on the CORRECT path..which is the path that you always wished for. I don’t GIVE UP on the things that are right for me, or the things that i am passionate about. Yet i’m NOW clever enough to snip around the things, that are negative influences on me and discard them as the ‘past.’ It’s not at all a bad thing. It’s healthy.

Latin Lover always attempts to manipulate my thoughts…ALL boys do. He believed the ‘You gave up on me’ spiel would make me feel fit for a challenge. I feel as though my intelligence was insulted. I’ve loved, lived and been heart broken enough to know PEOPLE…especially MEN. Even more scary..i KNOW myself BETTER than anyone and stride confidently. I’m kind..but i’m wise and not fooled by my own sense of sexy!   I felt weak when i met Latin Lover. He made me weaker due to his own insecurities. Does he forget what he did to me?

Right now, everyone and everything in my life is RIGHT. It’s correct and i haven’t had that sort of balance in an entire decade. Loverboy throws the glitter back onto my floor. Latin Lover turns that glitter into mud. I finally have a flourishing work life, my DREAM man, an amazing family union and a baby on the way. I’m all winks, fun and light at the moment. It couldn’t be any better. It’s the chapter that i actually turned into a grown up and amazingly i did it TEE-TOTAL!!! Who’d a thought?

Before i venture off to tend to my night, i just wanted to remind you that yes relationships are about commitment. Going through the good and the bad soildly. To love, even when the bells of romance are no longer ringing. Romance is not something to build a healthy relationship upon. Neither is lust. Or benefit. I believe that when you don’t fully commit, your relationship is just like one lonnng date, that YOUR having to pay for.  That’s not a strong enough foundation. HOWEVER, please DO know when to GIVE UP on something that really isn’t WORTH your energy. You may not see it at first, ( I never do, or did.) Yet after a while you’ll beable to try to see things more clearly and make the correct decisions. Make sure your chosen ‘other half’ brings out the very best in YOU. Love who you are and what you stand for and strut proudly…with a kitten-like softness.

I’ll muscle through life with Loverboy because he’s my ‘Fairytale’ man. The man i always dreamt off. The one that i’m willing to go through the ups and downs with. The ‘Handsome‘ I have waited my whole entire life to be with. The boy that always does the right thing, even without being prompted. The life that when connected with mine, sails to the heights of ‘Heavenly.‘ Latin Lover was a boy i had met when i was mildy broken down in Hollywood. After having my heart tampered with in New York, by a mentally abusive male. We were both weak. We never shared strength. We shared weakness. I guess, i so needed to feel loved at that time that i sold myself short..again. Something, i have learnt to never ever do. Especially after dating Jonny.

Now, i’m back to loving life, trying on diamonds and enjoying YOU ALL!!! (I treasure your messages!) Know that you can bounce back from any trouble, that you seem to have gotten yourself into. Even if you think you’re in too deep. I’ve wallowed in the ‘sin bin.’ Infact CHAMPIONED IT!’ And yeah it was really not as fun as i thought. People churn out all these ways  in order to help you get back upon your feet…whole books of ways. Whole theories!! What I say, is that in order to bounce back….Technically all you have to do..is BOUNCE.  xx

Hi everyone! I’ve just returned home after a few days of work, love, play and business. It’s been long, it’s been hard, it for once hasn’t ended in a messy chest,  to say i’ve just used such adjectives and well not only have i tended to all my pussycat, ‘wish i was a proper star’ duties…but i have also managed to do it pregnant, in golden studded heels and in a denim pleated mini skirt.*CHAMPION* (It was freeezing!) My *Bump* is a working bump…well all my ‘bumps’ are working bumps. *Wiggle-wink-pout* (OOh that did feel good!) Yet i’m carting it around to all of my meetings, like it’s a whole other entity.

First of all i am now EXTREMELY excited about my book!! I really do hope that i managed to produce a bit of wordy greatness, for you all. Otherwise i’ll feel all disappointed in myself and all that jolly old palava. I can’t drink for another 4 months, therefore feeling disppointed, ashamed or basically embarassed by my own rather quirky acts of ‘tragical’ is pretty much a ‘no go’ area right now…until i can reach for not only my fur…but my tequila ‘no ice.’

The book is not yet finished, not out until March 2011, but it’s fileld with Wunna love. It’s really close to my heart, so hopefully, you’ll all find a little room for it in your satchels, clutches or coffee tables. Life has gotten really exciting all around and well even though i keep having these horrific moments of self doubt, (which is completely unlike me) i really do think i’m going to be okay! Woohoo! Mocktails & Dildos for everyone!

My love life is bizarrely still brilliant. Loverboy, drank a whole bottle of red wine last night, like he was some kind of ’ooh i’ve found treasure’ pirate and once again decided to declare undying love for me. I enjoy it when he makes good decisions! I’ve been staying over at his for the past few nights and he whilst cuddling me and complaining that he had a migraine.He told me that he NEVER wanted me to leave and wanted me to stay forever. Yet, he made it better by singing it to me..and to that old faithful tune, blessed by the happy faced children of our nation.‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little star!’

I adore Loverboy on red wine. He turns into a toddler and loves me like i’m his favoruite teddy bear…that he has sex with? (We did have a bit of the old *hanky panky* yesterday morning. Yet it ended up being comedy *rumpy.* The kind where you creep under the covers, whilst he’s on the phone to his friend ‘Rob’ and you do thing ‘ooh i’m so sexy with my mouth and your man part‘ thing. It didn’t quite go to plan, because i found i couldn’t really breathe under the duvet or even move with my usual ‘snake like seductive *sizzle* due to my giano *BUMP.*

I looked like a suffocating, slanted eyed whale/butchers daughter, who was naked and trying not to wallop about as much as she was doing. It was as far from delicate as it gets!!! Then ‘Colombo’ the kitten crept under and joined me…making it all awkard. A hot blowjob, actually turned into me being completely exhausted and therefore only managing to find the energy to *LICK* a piece of flesh that i saw peeking out through the pouch in his boxers!! HAHAH! We both started laughing. Yet luckily it actually worked!!!! Men are soo easy! I still got it!

Pete was beside himself with excitment and immediately *hung up* the phone to ‘Rob’ and went in for the kill! Half way through our session (where i just laid on my back lol) the door buzzer went off, the alarm sounded, the phone rang a few million times more. It was hilarious..but completely worth it and because now he sings his utter love to me, after red wine and holds me, in dying hope that i never leave. (I’m at home now. Therefore, unfortunately….i did! )  But i do love him madly! We’re really good right now! Plus he sat down to Sunday dinner in nothing but a baby blue apron, after his Father accidentally spilt red wine down his entire body. He looked like a ‘Chippendale’ but eating pickled cabbage and Lanchashire hot pot. It made me love him! I love anyone that can bring a smile to my surrounding environment. Around that table were ‘beings’ aged between the ages of 3 to ‘almost’ 90. His stripper like antics made each one of us belly laugh! That’s what life is ABOUT!!!

Work is all wonderful right now. I’m feeling confident. Yet I AM having to with the fact that i am pregnant. I’m realizing that i’m not so keen on WAITING to get ahead. I’m a go getter. A fire cracker. One that drives her ship with a mighty wink and a giant gust of delicious dynamo! This whole sitting and waiting…whilst i have a baby…is quite frustrating at times. HOWEVER, it’s my life right now and therefore i’m a kitten who can make the most of whatever i’m going through, no matter what. I just have to wait, before i re-launch myself into my world of work and madness and that’s all i can do. I’ve used my time wisely. Which has even shocked me!!! Book. Cosmetics Line. Baby! WTF!!! LOVING IT! Yet the marvellous thing about the waiting is that by the end of it and for the first time ever…i will have created a whole entire life. Infact, an entire little girl, that’s going to look up at Me and call me ‘Mama.’ It’s insane!

My advice to anyone is to never give up and to use ALL your time wisely. Think about what’s right for YOU and go for it fearlessly. You’re gonna make yourself look stupid many a time. But one day…your day of looking idiotic..will be the exact THING that makes you! Never think that you can’t achieve what you want to achieve. Never think ANYTHING is out of reach. When you do…you put yourself ten steps BEHIND, that ONE person in the crowd that just KNOWS, they’re gonna make it. Or that one person who just TRIED!!

I have a lot of people wanting to do business with me right now, which i love. Yet i feel as though, people are often mistaken as to how professional, i enjoy things to run. I get a dandy bunch of emails a day, from people all over the world wanting to do this with me, or do that with me, make me more money, or jump of the Wunna ‘Fame bus’ (haha) as my friends call it. All i’m gonna say is, yes…i’m that glamour pussing, party girl, playful kitty of goodness and cocktail drinking. But if you come at me with a business idea…or are wanting to use my ‘ever so’ pretty face  for whatever delicious good, you are trying to sell! Then it is essential that you come tottering up with a typed up and rather official business proposal! I LOVE that people see me and talk to me like i’m their best friend. It’s lovely and truely fools me into believing that i’m making an impact on you all! It really does feel great and i love the messages that i get from you, telling me all about how my blog may have affected you for the better…or worse. Haha. Yet (and this is mainly to the guys) please do remember that business is business. Therefore if you are trying to make a little money via a Wunna link of ‘ooh laa’…you need to make sure and like with ANY business, that you do it officially.

Other than all that…Latin Lover is being a pain. I haven’t even seen him in almost 3 years and he’s committing to being bitter about our ‘ages ago’ break up. STILL!!! It’s really bizarre because soooo much has happened to me since then. My life kinda whirlwinded and for the better. You know when you look back at your exes and you realize how badly they affected the progress of your life, at that time. Yet you’re grateful that the lovelies up above, gave you an emergency lifeline, which was carefully disguised as something completely different. I look back and see that, when i thumb through the pages of my bit of ‘past’ with that particular boy. I feel like he (infact, a lot of my exes did this) stripped a layer of ‘Chrissie Wunna’ away and taught me to learn a new kind of life. One that i had never had to live before. We grew up very differently. I don’t thank him for the lesson in a lesser life one bit. Proving that there really are some walks of life that you DON’T need to venture down in order to learn. Pick up the book, read about it and take it as ‘learnt.’ When things are the extreme opposite to a fairytale. That path is not needed to be walked upon…especially if you wear MY heels! You’ll make them look as though you’ve walked a mile, instead of a preciously torturous metre. Thank GOD for life saving me!!! Hence why i am grateful to it. I’m always saved by my lucky stars!

I’ve really missed blogging for you, over the past couple of days! I think i have another one in me, before the night is over! I LOVE YOU!

OMG, the most insane day of madness! I haven’t even had time to blog, in the last two days, due to the ‘Circus’ of my Wunna life. I’ve been up, down, round and around. I’ve been approving pictures, working out ideas for my book shoot. Launching my cosmetics. Looking really forward to my book. Had unreliable interent access. Haven’t had time to eat. Enjoying every moment of living the creative high life and doing it with my knickers on inside out! (ALL DAY! Woohoo!) I’ve been balancing work, soon to be mother hood, glamour pussing, modelling, everyday life, writing, family life, and being a decent girlfriend all at once. I was never good at juggling. Then to top it all off, i’m not only the most ORANGE kitty the world has ever seen. (I accidentally overcompensated last night, whilst i was rubbing myself down with tanning lotion and because i’m now FAT due to the preggoness.) But, i haven’t heard back  from my Thursday meeting, that i really need to hear back from. Pervy actors are still texting me to ask it i ‘want to get rude’ with them. (UGH! *YAWN* When will you learn! Why on earth when i’m 5months preggo and in complete love would i want to get kinky with a stranger that thought that leaving Hollyoaks years ago was a good career move??) I just typed ‘No’ whilst tending to my busy schedule. I have too much going on right now and well i’ve only just got home after managing to fit in ‘rumpy pumpy’ with Loverboy and not making it to Manchester after all…ONLY TO HAVE the entire electrics in my house complete decide to FUCK UP nicely!

One minute they’re on, one minute they’re off. I turn them on. They *pop* themselves off. One moment i’m in light. The next i’m in pure darkness. I have what seems like a hundred kittens running around my ankles. I’ve lost one. I’m ORANGE. I need a bath and not only to a need a big cheque to grace it’s presence. But the actual electrician was here today and apparently FIXED the electrics! HELLLOOOO??? I’m trying to fricking watch ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ right now, yet every 5 minutes, the whole entire house shuts down, until i rummage around with a torch and granny slippers..looking for light. It pretty much mirrors my life!! UGH! Bad lighting is not only making me look like Jackie Chan, without the millions, but is also making me miss glitter, sequins and Matt Baker, wiggle his snake hips in tight lycra much trousers!! KILL ME!

I’m just venting because i need to let off the steam before i explode. I’m still in my afternoon party dress and faux fur, having not being able to change yet. I’m meant to be the Ultimate Glamour Puss. I’ve come back to England from my HOLLYWOOD life. I’m having a bambino. I can’t be doing with poor electrics. I hate rubbish workmen, no matter what craft they are subjecting in. DO YOUR JOB AND DO IT RIGHT!! I do! I’m the greatest floozy going!!! Men who come into my life in order to fix things..be it the lights, or my emotionally stability, always end up fucking it all up and simply because they only enter my life to see my boobs and make some feeble attempt to be my next ex-husband. FIX MY FUCKING LIGHTS!!!!! That would make me HAPPY!!! ( My face is so ‘done up’ right now, that i feel like i could leave a face print upon my painted white wall.   I hope i’m hot forever!)

Other than all that, and the fact that my Mother seems to be offering me coconut flavoured oriental jelly to solve all my problems? Tomorrow my whole family are going to the Buddhist temple in Birmingham to catch blessings. They usually take food like goodies with them for the orange robed Burmese monks. I’ve unfortunately eaten and felt up all the fruit, therefore now it is no longer fit for the Holy. I’m banned from public temple days because the Burmese buddhists don’t want me there due to my past of getting my boobies out, for a job. (Not very Buddhist of them! The people..AND my boobs. Depends on which Team you rock really?) If i want or need to give the temple a little visit, we have to literally HIRE the ENTIRE place out…so my family can worship in peace. (But yeah…i’ve felt up the fruit. But whatever….it was dark! They should be grateful that they didn’t buy cucumbers.)

What did i want to tell you? Oh Loverboy and I are really lovely right now. He’s ever the ‘hero.’ The love of my life. This morning when i woke up and rolled over to whisper ‘i love you’..he told me that he would really want to marry me. 10 points to The Wunna!! I always get myself into these moments…but i’m a love bunny, therefore i adore it. Then we cuddled, kissed and talked about his  life before Me. Then he asked me to ‘play with myself, if i would’ and due to the fact that i had now made him horny.  HAHA. I enjoy how good boys, or bad boys..no matter what kinda boys…will always fancy a bit of nookie and the most inappropriate times. If you are suggestive they cannot help but get juiced up and for no real reason and when Loverboy is juiced up…you can either run as fast as you can…or just submit to his powers! This is why you have to be careful when winding boys up or teasing them sexually. Make sure you don’t do it to a fugly. You’ll end up perched on the other end of his ‘meat,’ whether you like it or not. Eww!

 Today Loverboy pretended he was a plumber, who needed to fix my leaky taps? Lol. I love role play. It’s even funny sober! (Infact away from the sex, I actually learnt a lot about him today. He’s really openning up.) I only ended up waking up at his because he called me at 10pm because he missed me and needed me. Yeah he was rummed up. But all he wanted was a cuddle. Cuddles go well with coconut flavoured rum! It makes you want to snuggle up to the floozy labled ‘Yours’ and not have to do life alone. Then i transformed from pj’s and rollers, to Glamour puss in 10 minutes flat. My legs stank of fake tan. (Which is better than fish, i guess?) Then we had burgers and a kebab, under a duvet! Hahaha.. Classic Ponty behaviour.

Before the rumpy…[rewind] I actually had little ‘Columbo’ the kitten in my arms and i have NEVER seen Pete move so fast in my life..once he got the ‘Green light.’ He leapt out the bed, like a kid in a candy store, grabbed ‘Columbo’ out of my kitty arms and put him out in the hallway…faster than you could say ‘masturbate.’ LOL ( I apologize for being a rudey…but not really..at all. *Wiggle- wink*) Then he had rum in his coffee for late lunch and well it made me miss being a drunken strunken. I can’t wait until i can pop open a bottle of champagne again, or have a sip of wine with giggles!! Being Tee-total is the most devastating part of pregnancy. Well that and fattiness!

Anyway, i’ll finish my bloggin later…as i do have more to tell you about love and how it works. But it’s far too good telly right now, for me to beable to concentrate. I want my pj’s on, a Horlicks and time with my telly box.

I’ve had loong but wonderful day. One of those days, where you feel like you’ve been quite quite productive for a floozy. I met Loverboy in town, bought a ‘reliable business woman’ outfit, threw in a couple of jumpers..(whatever it’s freezing) and then after venturing to Pete’s appartment and getting dressed by him, like a ‘Business Barbie.’ We rushed off to my meeting, where i found myself in a room, with an important looking gent, who was wearing a pink shirt (i likey liiikey) and was asking me a series of questions. (Ah, no, nooo!) Note: I never let anyone dress me! I just let them play their ideas and then change it completely to what i actually wanted. I’m a Glamour puss. My version of ME always works better!

I can’t tell you how it went and simply because i don’t actually know? You never do? You never know what someone else is thinking? But for the first time in a loong time…i actually felt nervous. You know when you can hear yourself talking to a person, in a silent-ish room and you think you sound horrific. That was me. It was almost as if i was having some kind of outer body experience, where i was watching myself attempt to ‘impress’ from above or something? I was in my jet black slacks prettily perched upon a black leather armchair….nattering away, to an important pink shirted gentleman, named ‘John,’ attempting to ‘sell‘ myself…with my animal print handbag, sat down by my side! I now know, that i DO have an annoying  voice. I could hear it and everything. But i hope that ‘John’ liked me. I tried my best and well it’s all down to crossed fingers really…and maybe *winks.* How hard is it to look reliable and half sexy on a comfy armchair!?! Impossible. I perched, but only to stop me from flipping off my bra, laying back upon the chair and kicking off my heels under a sign reading ‘Comfy’… with my imaginary whisky.

I walked out of the office and felt as though there were eyes on me. Yet, i think i was just being paranoid? I’m used to the old ‘eyes on me’ game. However, it’s bizarre that at around 2.31pm…i actually noticed it and felt it. I got in a lift, tottered out in my 6 inch heels, shook ‘the fear’ out of my system, smiled at a mother and a young daughter attempting to ice skate, then ran out to the car to Loverboy, who was waiting for my arrival! I love that he comes places with me whenever i’m afraid. I love that he waits!

Anyway, after meetings, work and all that jolly old terrifying stuff! We decided to take a time out together, so we cuddled each other and ‘Columbo’ the kitten, under a blanket, as we watched grannies try to sell paintings on the telly and let life whelm it’s love around us! I felt really in love today! Pete was amazing and now i think about it…just gorgeous! I was under the blanket in my business attire and he was in his grey jogging bottoms and grey flat cap. He was all romantic and adorable and snuggly today…and i enjoyed being near him for every moment that i was!

My day was done, so before he started his..we went to a local bar to late lunch on pie! OMG, it was sooo yummy and sooo beautiful and i was soooo stuffed. I’m hating being massive right now. It feels really awkward. Yet, what can a kitten with a baby in her belly do? I could have a lettuce leaf and i’d still be holding a *bump* under my boobs, with a sign reading ‘Coming soon.’

Pete and i have actually found out why we fight, when we fight. Whenever we do have a bit of  bicker it’s always because we haven’t been able to see each other. We hate it and therefore out of frustration take it out of each other. Well…i take it out on him! He’s quite good and being a problem solver is Loverboy and therefore he works out a loving solution EVERY time…which makes me a happy girl. I’ve always wanted and well needed a man like that. Now i have one. Makes a change from my usual ‘drag in dreggs.’ This ones hot AND comes with actual substance. [Applaud here.]

What i like about the above situation, is the fact that Loverboy cares about me enough, to actually attempt to FIND a solution. I mean, most boys act like pansies and when you ‘play up’ or throw a baby tantrum, they can’t be doing with you anymore and label you will a ‘psycho’ tag. (That’s sooo 1999.) The difference between a MAN & a BOY is that a MAN will beable to solve relationship problems, during times of trouble..instead of add to it. A BOY is never emotionally grown enough to beable handle such a task, without kicking up dust! All women LOVE a grown man. We all do! Loverboy is ‘rock solid’ when it comes to being a man and he’s only 25. I know ‘Handsome’s’ in their 30′s who struggle to be real men. Let alone a ‘hero.’ All my other boyfriends..apart from maybe Eric and Michael..have just been pansy like tantrum throwers. Which isn’t what any girl is looking for longterm, now is it! *Fans herself.* (I’m currently being texted by actor boys, who are now trying an alternate approach to winning my heart, after getting shunned for being tragic.)

I’ve had a great day overall. Things have really picked up. Work, love and life. I feel like i have it all and if i can do it, you can do it. I NEVER thought i’d get there…but i did. (‘You always FUCKING do WUNNA,’ said the voice coming from behind her pretty oriental shoulder, after hearing a ‘read out.‘ Lol. )

I’m in my pj’s, having a night of pure rest! (‘Oooh laaa.’) My bumpage is terrifying me and well…i’m never eating pie again. I fear that i’ll never scare this ‘lifetime on the hips’ away. UGH! 4 months to go!

Up earlier than i expected. Well done me! It’s a creepy time 8.33am…where everyone just seems to be in transit, or in that phase of *rush rush.* Everyone seems to be going somewhere? Yet they seem to all be going to places they HAVE to go to and not really places that they WANT to go to! Never a good thing…even in stockings and with lollipops!

I’ve been sat in a mountain of high heeled delights, tossing through them, in order to find my perfect pair. (‘Hot pink tapper, Leopard kitten heel, Golden wedge, Neon diamanted…’) I have a meeting at 2pm today and not only am i wishing that i could be bothered to tan last night. (I always and rather oddly feel like i’m at a disadvanatge if i’m pastey! Lol. I’m comforted by a warm ‘almost Bob Monkhouse ‘ orange glow.) But i’m also needing to pop into town to actually BUY a meeting outfit, due to the fact that i can’t seem to fit into anything worthwhile, that doesn’t make me look like a…what’s the word? Whore! *Shimmie here*

I haven’t properly woken up yet, but i’m in a GREAT mood, whilst explaining to an old school friend (Kate Sykes) that Hell really is just messy and that i don’t think i’ll be selling my child to Russia…with me being asian. (The Red Light District, beats the cold.) But it isonly 8.55am…after she’s had her ‘uppers,‘ she’ll beable to see and therefore realize that with MY good looks, my child will be the best thing that ANY strip joint in Leeds could ever ask for! I’m going to make Kate my new toy and simply because she’s mouthy. (Yay! Well done me. Finding new toys, a wink at a time.)

I have a lot of work to get through today, so i must at some point pretend to be professional. I’m a wee bit nervous. Yet i’m taking Loverboy with me and simply because i’m under the misconception that littering my immediate surrounding with eye candy, will make me feel better. My cup of tea has glitter in it?

Other than all that, i don’t have much to report right now with the day being so young. I just spent the night recieving text messages from out of work actors, who used to be on ‘Hollyoaks, Holby City & E.R’ who all seem to want to know what size my breasts are? *Yawn.* Then i was inboxed by a whole bunch of other ‘pretending’ to be famous people, who also wanted to know what size boobies i have and what my favourite position is? Boys should  invest MORE time in their life and careers, than in the art of ‘chasing ass.‘ If they did, they’d be unstoppable.But they don’t do they? Hence why girls are better.

But to clear everything up..My favourite position is next to my BOYFRIEND…the one i’m having a BABY with. Who i do actually truely love, even at his worst and well he’s NEVER at his worst with. (Even though last night he did reveal that he would prefer it if i had a more stable job and a more stable kind of life?) Apparently we have to think about the future etc…etc.. I find it odd, as usually my boyfriends just want me to be a ridiculously famous hoochie, so that they can be a tragical house husband and buy fast cars with my earnings…before they attempt to share my light of lime. Pete is the opposite and would like it if i was something simple and stable…like a…prostitute?

I better stop trying to be funny before it all goes even more pear shaped. I DO have to get ready now and turn my pretty self into some kind of reliable business woman. I’ve been reading all your lovely messages about my cosmetics line etc..and I LOVE YOU TOO! I’m glad you’re all feeling inspired. I keep accidentally doing that..and i’m pretty much it. (I will be answering all of your questions about it, on my blog later…so you can email or tweet them to me.)

Okay, i godda go. I need to buy a meeting outfit. *Ooh! Finally finds the perfect heels.*

Hello my Dolls! As some of you may know, my New Cosmetics line is out in America (including Hawaii & Alaska) & Canada! I’m really excited because i adore a bit of glitter, pink ‘ooh laa’.’ It’s a little start to a final big range.

 I welcome you to may ‘Dolly‘ line. It’s candy coated and filled with ‘love,’ and something for you to collect! It will become available for my kittens, be you a girl, guy, or gay, in the UK in Jan 2011 and a GREAT start to your Chrissie Wunna collection!

I ADORE my cosmetic collection, as it’s taken ages to put together and is high quality stuff! It’s all been created in the USA and been made by the best team ever!! (Who were sober and everything! ) I hope you thoroughly enjoy my ‘Dolly’ line (which i like to refer to as my ‘Desperate Dolly’ line) and know that you will also be blessed with my ‘Diva Much’ line, ‘Kitty Kitty’ line, ‘Party Queen’ line and my Ultimate Glamour puss selection!

I feel really lucky!! Therefore go grab yourself a wee bit of Wunna…from www.chrissiewunnacosmetics.com  Be it a little bit of ‘Mangi shimmer’ lippy, or a ‘Bombay’ coloured eye shadow, incase you need to get your ‘Jai Ho’ on. Know that it’s been touched with a little love by Moi and well everything i touch ends up being accidentally ‘delicious.‘ Throw it in your school bag, your briefcase, your man satchel, your purse, or pretty much in your life and know that it keeps love ‘magical.’ Powder Puff your way to Greatness!! I did…

It just goes to show how a little bit of ‘Look at me’ can turn into a whole lot more! Dreams Come True! If you want to get Dollified in Dallas, Hoochied in Hollywood, Candied in Canada, Floozied in Florida Or simply Hula’d in Hawaii. With a wee bit of Wunna blush…you’ll always find your way!

www.chrissiewunnacosmetics.com

Oh i’m having an ACE day!! One of those *giggly-wiggly* ones, where you think you’re a hell of a lot funnier than you really are, but you commit to your *strut-strut* anyway! I’ve been Chrissie ‘Pass me my faux fur’ Wunna in her truest form today. All tragically delicious and dipped in a glittery doughnut syrup. According to Loverboy,  the only fur i have is currently on my vagina. LMAO! He walked into a kitchen and i seemed to have a baby pink jumper on and a pair of black panties. I actually ONLY HAD a baby pink jumper on! HAHA. Then i had the utter undecency to grab the nearest palm sized Kitten named ‘Columbo’ and and place it over my ‘Poppins’ in order to pretend it wasn’t hairy! (I’m meant to be the Ultimate Glamour Puss. Yet my preggo belly is unfortunately preventing me from seeing my ‘wootsie’ right now. Lord knows what’s going on down there. Yet i’m sure it ain’t too sweet…with my delicious ethnic roots!! Oooh look racism before 9pm)

Like i said, today i just feel really excited. Almost superstar excited. I’ve got that rush of ‘bubbly bubbly’ and glint in my eye that suggests that life is A.Okay! [You can add a 'bitches' in there if you wish!] I woke up at the crack of dawn..(11.30am) and got straight to work on my upcoming book. I’m REALLY juiced up for it now and just CAN’T WAIT to get it out there and in your local Waterstones! It’s fun, it’s frilly, it’s real and it’s glamourous and well a total piece of MY life that you can feel inspired by. When i say inspired, i mean simply look at, read and then remember to NOT Do what i did! (‘Hello Orgy! How not fun you were!’) Anyway, that’s out after my baby in March..and i’ll be doing a baby book tour, in order to meet and greet you all. For me, the best part isn’t the book…it’s the meeting you all, posing, pouting, signing and hearing you tell me that you adore me! HAHAHA! What? I was raised by asians and child minders from the Carribean. Let me have a rummed up moment and a wee bit of glamourous glory!

Anyway, just recently i’ve been all ‘tee-total, good mummy, cupcake.’ But last night, and the reason why i actually woke up at 11.30am ( i had orginally woken up at 7am..but had to fall back to sleep) was because i had *shocked* myself up after dreaming of lesbians rug munching and then Me in a strip club squeezing my boobies upon men?? The devil is trying to get me! He wantsme back! It did get a bit juicy actually and i did have a bit of ‘Wunna-time’ 5 times afterward. But when you’re preggo, you kind of get really paranoid about what you’re thinking and what you’re watching? I got all dolly panicked whilst shouting ‘OMG! NOOOO. I HAVE A BABY GIRL IN MY BELLY. I don’t want her to think that or grow up to be a floozy like me!!’ I went back to sleep…simply to dream of cupcakes, rainbows and bronzer again! (All i did was wake up at 11.30am and think i was a lesbian again. It actually was quite hot! Infact, at 11.35am i thought i should become an official lesbian, after ‘Lip service’ glamourized it for me. But then after 4 minutes,  my mind went back to wanting to squeeze boobies over men…and then i ‘Buddha palmed.’ ) Know that the ‘telly’ glamourizes everything. I’m sure censored lesbo sex is not as saucy as it looks on the BBC. It’s more like that moment when you find yourself in the middle of an orgy, in someone’s studio appartment feeling repulsed and ashamed, next to a tumble dryer and in a papery bed sheet from Argos. Never like the movie of your mind!

You’d think Pete, aka Loverboy would be all about lesbians right? BUT NO. He would despise it if began to fancy girls because he sees it as MORE PEOPLE he has to hide me from and MORE PEOPLE he’d have to compete against.  I can imagine him being all bitchy, mean and viscious, if he thought i fancied a girl. Infact, i should wind him up and do it…simply to keep him ‘alive!’ But today i feel far too lazy to toy with his emotions. I’m far too happy on the inside right now, to be that evil. I’m in love with his man and i guess it’s my duty to make him feel 100% adored. I’m much better at being a girlfriend sober! I’m all loving and kind and cutsie. Weird?

I actually think i had a baby bicker with him last night at around 2am, on the phone and because he was ‘tired’ and refusing to open up emotionally and tell me all about his inner problems! HAHAA! I’m awful like that! I’m terribly curious and adore to find out about people, how they are, why they are…what they think? But i demand it at the oddest occasions. Pete enjoys to AVOID these conversations..his problems are his problems. He’s one to suffer in silence. I like to openly share all of my pokery. But because i’m quite candid.. I don’t seem to understand why others aren’t? I remember saying ‘Pete, i can talk about everything, good & bad OPENLY…because i’m now over the trauma of it all. I’ve healed and now find it funny. You avoid talking about everything…because you haven’t healed, or don’t want to look broken, in any way!’

I’m completely non-judgemental, so i’m a great person for anyone to open up to, because i don’t think ANYONE should be ashamed of ANYTHING they have done, or anything that has happened to them, or anything that they personally feel. (Be it a person OR an emotion. ) I think it’s a healthy thing to beable to tell your story honestly without fear! I’m confident and happy because i’ve rid everything from my body, through written word. I know that people can learn from hearing about the lives of others. That’s why i blog. I know that as i’ve  lived my life…i’ve still watched and therefore learnt along the way.

Anyway, we were talking about him and his ex girlfriend, who he believed really ruined him as a person. He was talking about how she cheated on him and how he then cheated on her as revenge.  How he felt controlled and how he needed to escape but couldn’t. I then ofcourse asked a bundle of inquisitive questions…which really sound odd when i’m not drunk? When he doesn’t openly discuss things, it makes me MAD. I feel as though he doesn’t trust that i will still love him, if i KNOW, the real truth. Has he not read my blog??? (Ooh a man is on my telly who is saying that he will be taking his teenage son to a prostitute for his first sexual experience.) Hmm..? Lovely! Lovely! He does have a valid point that he wants his son to ‘learn from the best teacher.’ Lol. But, what i’ve learnt from life and life alone (and yeah it took me an awful long time to learn) is that sex is about LOVE and not just about a ‘release.’ When we use it as a simple ‘release’…it’s usually because we’re hurting.

Anyway, i must go and return to my glamour pussy duties. I feel on top of the world, excited and i actually think it’s because i’ve worked all morning. I’m one to truely believe that keeping active, keeps you happy, young and knowledgable. Whilst i get back to whipping my hair back n forth…you get making your entire dreams come true! You have nothing to lose…but your dignity! HAHA. I lost mine years ago and let me tell you..it was the best thing i ever did!

I’ve been left to my own devices tonight and yeah other than handing out handfuls of Midget gems to strangers, who probably preferred diamonds or a clump of kebab meat. I’ve also decided i would ONLY enjoy being a Housewife…if i was a ‘Desperate’ one. Oh and by ‘Desperate’ one…i mean ONLY Gaby. I’d also enjoy being a ‘Real Desperate Housewife of Orange County, LA, or New Jersey’ or one that was just a Lady of Leisure. I mean, why would I go from MY life… ten steps back, to gusset scrubbing?

So far, i’ve attempted to iron things. I do actually enjoy a bit of the old ironing, to the  soothing sounds of Britney Spears. I enjoy the idea of forcefully squashing the kinks out of something and to pop music from the olden days. I’m like a pro at the ‘kink squashing,’ because i’ve had a lifetime of others attemtping to *squash* the kinks out of me. It’s a procedure that i’m ever so familiar with. But yeah, i attempted to iron shirts and well mid-attempt…the iron itself, just decided to LEAP off the ironing board, and land face down upon someone else’s lovely new berber carpet. Oops! I’ve actually left an IRON PRINT MARK (haha…) where i tried to be domestic. It has BURNT it’s ENTIRE way through, to the point where they may not even get there security bond back ever and now i can’t even continue to iron kinks out of things, because it leaves this brown gooey trail of burnt gluey carpet on everything! (This is like the time, i tried to make coffee for a boy i once dated in LA. The perculator EXPLODED…because i had put everything in ALL the wrong gadgets or  something?? ) I had never really made proper coffee before then. It was always ordered and then handed to me in a beautiful paper cup, with my name or choice written on the side of it, with a ‘Have a great day!’

Being the Glamour puss extra-ordinaire…i simply *pouted* and then pulled a sofa over it. Then i panicked for a good 2 seconds, before telling Loverboy what i had done! Queen of Domesticity here! HAHAH! I think God just wanted me to keep the *kinks* in things afterall. I enjoy how i complain that i can’t at all move because i’m pregnant and NEED to get catered upon. Yet in ‘get myself out of trouble’ moments, i can *PULL* a  whole entire sofa over something, in order to hide the evidence…immediately. (‘Hello…I’m Chrissie Wunna. You love it.’)

Other than being the next ‘Suzy Home maker,’ I’ve also managed to put the tumble dryer on..and then *STUB* my FRICKIN’ TOE on a giant wooden door, after having to chase my kitten ‘Gucci’ around a kitchen of utter diaster and because she kept trying to LEAP out of a nearby window..but i thought she was trying to leap into the tumble dryer!! (I currently have someone ‘yakking‘ away at me AGAIN…as i’m trying to blog..I only asked how they were…i didn’t need a 40 minute story and the complete knowledge about their vagina. I enjoy how they’re so commited to their story..with hand jestures & everything. But i’m not listenning. I’m BLOGGING much! I’m at the point where i’m now making it known that i’m ignoring them…but they don’t seem to care. They just needed an audience…any audience and well…I can appreciate that! Aww…I hate it when that happens because it makes me see that the person infront of me, non-stop ‘yakking,’ deep down is secretly lonely. They don’t have anyone to talk to but me.   I want to cuddle them. Infact, i now don’t mind being their audience, one bit!)

I’ve dropped things, tripped over things, chased things, burnt things,  stubbed things and pretty much ruined everything in the house. The only thing i’m actually good at, is stroking kittens and re-glueing my eyelashes on, whilst deciding what shoot i want to do next? My body was built for pleasure and not tedious manuel labour.

I’ve also decided that even though i should…i CAN’T be anything slutty for Halloween, because i’m currently unable to FIT into any of my slutty Halloween choices. I’ve tried squeezing into everything…but it’s a rather Holy ‘no go.’ I don’t enjoy squeezing into anything anyhow, be it a venue, a line, a car, or an outfit. Therefore, i’m gonna lift up my ‘Fuck it’ card and not bother being anything at all. If i can’t be anything floozy-like…then really whats the point?

As i’m cleaning, i’m loving all your messages, all your Tweets, all your emails!! They’re making life worthwhile right now. Lol. I’m reading them whilst celotaping parts of me back togther and currently sat in a giant deep red armchair, after gloriously surrendering. I ain’t no maid! *Pass me my Mocktail.*

I’m really excited about being a Mum. I feel like my life is about to begin! (Even though it’s been tremendously eventful, so far.) I’m properly in love. I have my book on it’s way out to you. My cosmetics line out NOW in America and Canada. I should be hair-tossing and partying under a hand held disco ball. But i’m burning holes in the carpets of others and ungracefully stubbing my toe. BRING ON THE BABY!

I’ve just returned home after an amazing last couple of days. Yeah, i’ve worked. But as always the working ‘it’ is the most delicious part of my little journey i’m calling ‘Life.’ I’ve come home in one piece, apart from a the fact that my nail is now being held on via celotape. I would usually label this as some kind of genius ‘party scar.’ However, i’m a Glamour Puss and celotape wrapped around the second finger of your right hand, (the finger you use to rudely point with) is hidieous. I sort of feel injured…like i’ve broken a bone, or pulled a limb. Every part of me is glued, pinned, sewn or fuzzy felted on. When i leave parts of my ‘ooh laa’ just laying around cities and on the floors of busy town centers, (even if it is just a nail) …i feel like i’ve lost part of my ever so polished and completely rather tragical…fabulosity!

Anyway, Loverboy and I have had the most WONDERFUL (we’re actually really in love) last 2 days. With me being pregnant, we’ve had a really normal time..which if you know me is quite a task in itself. But i’ve managed to nail such a challenge. I mean, last night, in the midst of us being MADLY in LOVE with one another (i enjoy how my room air freshing Glade pump, has just spritz me with a glorious Springtime fresh…out of nowehere.) Pete looked to his left, as we were enjoying life on the black leather sofa, infront of the tv…and there i was, naked, but with zebra print knickers on, (they were granny knickers, but my body was swallowing them up & making them look like a thong.) Not only was i in the bufty! But i was sitting there all *slob* like, with my baby bump out in full force, tits a *too-too,* shovelling Milky Bar chocolate buttons in my mouth, by the handful, with two day old makeup on and with a chocolate button placed over my belly button…that i seemed to be saving for later…with a now named ‘Columbo’ kitten in my other hand. It was rather sexual. I looked like Jabba the hut..with eyelashes. Infact, you might as well of poured a meat pie down my front and slapped me with a ‘Learn Glamour’ book.

Loverboy looked…*paused* and then said ‘Lol..you look like a proper fat bastard!’ There was a distinct moment of silence. (Where i attempted to place one of my white chocolate buttons back in the pretty foiled bag..sllloooowly, in order to at least redeem some sort of dignity.) We both looked at one another…. and pissed ourselves laughing!!! It was hilarious! I was thoroughly enjoying my moment of ultimate decadent slobbery. He actually laughed so hard he choked on his red wine. (‘OMG Chrissie you’re not even leaping to help me with a back pat!’) I was letting him choke and die, as i ate the choccie button that was over my belly button, whilst bimbo laughing and telling him i that i was ‘bonding with my bump’ and needing to be left alone. It was great and disgusting all at the same time..which is what i do! [Applaud here.] I love being preggo and naked whilst eating white chocolate buttons.

When Pete’s pissed up on red wine, he’s ace. He loses all his inhibitions and thoroughly entertains me with funny racist voices, Bollywood dance moves..singing that goes on far too long, Hip hop hand jestures and wiggly giggly moments of utter ‘silly!’ I bring out the playful in him..a  side he hasn’t even seen in donkies years. We were in our pj’s and sooo innocently in love. The pure kind, that i’ve pretty much searched this entire land for and with snacks, kittens and tv. The kind where you look at each other all wide eyed and giggly. I laughed sooo hard, that i actually passed out due to exhaustion. I really did. I apparently did a massive ten second long preggo fart too during that time and into his half full wine glass! HAHAHA. Delicious. Today, i trumped in the car, when he was returning from the Doctors. We had just had McDonalds and the first thing he said when he got into the car was an enthusiastic ‘Oooh it smells nice in here.‘ But he really did mean it. It apparently reminded him of pie. I told him where the scent had come from and again after a moment of awkward, ‘Do i love her’ silence…. there was insane laughter! This was after he had just claimed that he LOVED looking into his car from far away, because i always look soooo beautiful in it..all wide eyed and wootsie. Topped off with the most glorious smile! (He thinks i’m smiling because i’m lovely. But i’m smiling because i’ve just got done preggo farting..uncontrollably and all over eveything he owns.) It was raining outside.

All i remember about the last couple of days, is the sheer BELLY LAUGHTER we shared and the times we half naked cuddled. I’ve never laughed so hard, with someone i’m in love with. We’re really getting close now and i’m realizing how important an actual FRIENDSHIP is in a relationship. He’s like one of the onlys to have ever seen me in my raw, unglamourous self…where i’m just ME and without the Hollywood *ooze* of  ‘Oh Yeah Baby’ juicing out of my pores. Don’t get me wrong, he loves that about me. Loverboy loves a girly girl. A girl that takes care of herself and enjoys kitten like goodies. A femme who indulges in being the Ultimate female and smears tan, lippy and glitter in all the right places, with cocktail in her right and a beckon in her left! But i’ve just realized that he also just loves ME. Christina Wunna. How i am, when i’m at my rawest and i’ve never ever had that before. Well i mean, never felt this comfortable with a ‘Handsome’ before, in my simplest form. He makes me feel beautiful.

I’ve had a weekend of utter marvel. I’m a lucky kitten. I’m madly in LOVE and have a partner to journey my 100 years with. He actually catches me when i fall and well i’m the girl that unlocks this boys potential. We’re having a baby girl!! It’s insane. However after watching ’16 & Pregnant’ even though i’m not even nearly 16 years of age, i just think i am. I’ve realized that having a baby isn’t going to be ANYTHING like having a Chanel clutch. It’s actually going to be really difficult raising a child. Oopsie! *Wink* (Thank God she will have a million Fairy Gay fathers!!!)

Other than that, i’ve had Latin Lover email weird words of that went along the lines of ‘i’m mildy bitter that you have dumped me, so i’m going to pretend that i’m doing really well and being really rich with a marvellous career in entertainment to make you either want me again for feel really bad for the curb kick.’ Nothing is more tragic than being one of my exes, it seems? Lol. I don’t just mean Latin Lover. The majority of them feel as though they have something to prove? They all try and do it in a sneaky, fakey happy, ‘i’m not really bothered’ form…which pretty much proves how bothered they are! All girls appreciate a boy who can open up honestly and simply say ‘I miss you & life sucks without you,‘ if that is what they truely meant to say.

I know people and i know what they’re capable of. I certainly know boys and especially in the category of exes. I mean i have sooo many of them and even wanderers pretending they are one? (Which i find hilarious and not because of the lie, yet because they actually they think they can jump to ‘ex’ without having to go through the Wunna drama. If you’re going to label yourself with such a tag..KNOW that you have to go through your fair share of ‘drama’ dished out by ‘Wunna’ the slanted eyed floozy of Greatness. You don’t get to be a ‘pretend’ ex, without getting lashed too!

Latin Lover is being weird right now. That email kind of reaffirmed that he actually truely did not even know me that well after all? Which is kinda upsetting, yet ofcourse hilarious at the same time. He’s just part of my every looong life story and titled under ‘When i dated a Mexican.’ I wouldn’t care if he ended up being the richest man in the world, or the most successful bit of ‘ooh’ ever. His time with me is DONE and that is something he will NEVER get back. I’m doing well and he knows it. Hence why he’s coming at me, in this ‘look how well i’m doing…’ jargen. I know he’s not. But he’s not brave enough to tell me. He’s competing with me…for no reason at all and trying to re-woo we with riches. It’s an odd battle for him because it’s a fight he won’t win? It’s just a fight, or a way of recovery that temporarily makes him feel better about himself. (I’m not judging him because we all do it. I’ve done it.) I know Latin Lover like the back of my hand and i know that that boy has a great deal more bad karma to make up for, before he gets his life rewards!

I love Pete…because he made me believe in fairytales again and made me feel like an actual human being. He grounded me, without making me change my heels for flats, nipple tassles for a bra, or big hair for a bob. When i’m not there, he misses me for my smile, my company, the way i move and the way my nose crinkles up when i’m mad at him. He cares nothing for the ‘game’ of love or the luxuries that may come with dating ‘Chrissie Wunna’ (like Herpes) and i love telling him that he has an AMAZING body, but a size 18 black mans bum! It makes him walk around the kitchen like a duck, in order to make me giggle. He’s gonna be an amazing daddy!

Anyway, i must go back to sticking cocktail umbrellas in things and making like i’m on holiday! ILOVE YOU! Enjoy the love you have!!

Okay, i’m a bit busier than expected today! Therefore i can’t give you a juicy blog, until the morn of tomorrow. I will tell you that it’s not even 3pm yet and i’ve already gotten called a ‘slag’ and other than being really creepy and hanging out outside a random Wilkinsons, looking for ethnic people, with Katty and Di,who i was filling in on my baby bump. I’ve been to a morning meeting, woken up in the same face i slept in, then BRONZED on top of it, because i accidentally laid in, with a kitten on my chest and my hair in an updo. Last night ‘The Wunna’s,’ Loverboy and I all went to Aagrah for a bit of Indian and birthday surprises! We enjoyed firework displays shooting out of our desserts and realized that life really is quite lovely. We’re in our own world and working it. It’s drama free, and decorated with celebration! I’m enjoying my time on earth right now and i want you to be toooooooooooo!

I’m actually knackered today *waddle waddle*…but i will tell you that i am ALL go, therefore there’s no *juicy juicy* until i’ve calmed down. I ha the best bit of sexy time last night. One of those sessions that actually felt the way *rumpy* is supposed to feel. It must’ve have been my ‘updo?’ It gets the boys a going! I was starkers…with my giant baby bump, with my ‘updo’ and with nothing else on but myboobies and chandelier diamond earrings! I looked like an exotic princess from another land…who fancied a bit of rouch and tumble! I LOVED IT!!!

Pete and I are doing that sickening ‘ever so in love’ thing right now. But i enjoy that phase! It’s magical and a time that i will always cherish. Infact, i’m actually thinking about moving in with him after all…but don’t tell him that! Thismornign when i woke up next to him and found myself as the ‘big spoon.’ I kinda looked at his back and thought…this boy could be my next husband! Then i realized that ‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’ actually made us horny! Hahaha. I thought there was only Wagner for that job. (Fyi, Pete thinks Wagners willy would smellof leather and i think it would smell of red indians? We both have colds thought. )

Life is tremendously jolly. I’m freezing and think i’m getting the flu…but as always…it’s jolly. I’ve been followed around by chavy boys all day, who seem to enjoy having mildy unpolite conversation with my bum….lol…and other than me eating an apple and getting ready to go back out right this very minute to tend to more Wunna Land ‘ooh laa’…i will tell you that my cosmetics line (and if you are in America and Canada…including Hawaii and Alaska) YOU ARE NOW ABLE TO BUY MY LINE OF MAKEUP.

Here’s the link for it…(but if you look to your right, on my webpage and then a little bit downage…there’s a cosmetics banner that you may click on that will direct you right to my bit of ‘ooh laa.’) Have fun with it…and ofcourse..buy lots of it! Haha.

www.chrissiewunnacosmetics.com

I must must go now. There really is no rest for the wicked. THANKYOU everyone for all of your messages!! I read through them giggling and ordering people to fan me…who simply just ignore me or give me a middle finger. lol. I LOVE you all and because you’re far too delicious for your own good. Make your mark. Love your life and do it with a *wink.* No-one can poop on your party…unless you let them.  And who likes people who poo at parties anyway? But i have noticed that a lot of you guys are sooo happy right now and i LOVE THAT. It’s actually all you need, in order to get ahead!  Therefore kittens stare at that mirror image and make love to it! (Even if you do it in secret!) *Wiggle-Wink*