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Great morning innit! The sun is out, the birds are a chirping, i’ve frollocked around gleefully in the garden, made daisy chains out of diamonds, winked at passersby and got stuck up trees, in dying hope that a shirtless fireman would come and *hose* me out of that goddamn chunk of trunk. I’m feeling like a Glamour puss today, dipped in a gooey pool of deliciousness. I feel happy, i feel strong, i feel AMAZING, and i pretty much feel like i can conquer the world and with a rather seductive wiggle and a morning mimosa!

‘Latin lover’ called me last night and i picked up because i haven’t really talked to him in a jolly old time. He’s madly in love once more and i apparently make him feel ‘whole.’ I make him feel ‘whole’ because 2 hours before he called, he was in his appartment in LA, sat with a bunch of friends, flicking through the channels and there i was.. with feathers on my nipples, on his tv screen, with Paris Hilton. He told me that he loved me, missed me and how he wanted me to come back to LA, be his, and buy him a car. Hmm..? *Rolls eyes*

My journey to England has been a very important one. I’ve learnt a lot about life, Me and who i want to be and after a ‘jiggery pokery’ in a dusty lime of light, a lot of cock (tails) and a lot of playing with all walks of life, with all walks of people and sharing all walks of shame….in hot pink heels. I’ve found myself in a great position. One where, i don’t actually feel taken advantage of and where i’m surrounded by those who are quite quite genuine. Real people and don’t get me wrong, i’m highly abnormal, therefore the adjustment is rather difficult. Yet, the people i have around me, let Me be Me and infact they celebrate my quirks, my ‘ooh laa’ and life with me and assure me that everythings going to be okay…(oh and that i’m a whore. I got called one at 8am this morning, by a chick friend who wanted me to go and have a barbeque breakfast with her. I was laid in bed and I think i just looked at her…(down my pink phone) and scowled. Which translates as..‘why the jeebers are you calling me at 8am??’ I haven’t even had my painkillers yet!’ The silence got the better of her and the word ‘Whore’ trolloped out of her mouth. lol)

Anyway, (back to boys) as soon as ‘Latin lover’ who was in a moment of *excited face* started talking…he slipped out about how i could come back, make him money and buy him a car…i actually felt churny sick. I’m not sure how he hasn’t come up with the concept of working really hard, making his own money, buying himself one and NOT using me for one? I don’t enjoy men like that.  Anyway, this is all hypothetical…as i’m currently in the UK, armed with my ‘Lover-Lover boy’ and i am mucho happy. I mean before Loverboy went to bed last night, he sent me a text from bed reading, ‘At home now laying in bed. Just a txt 2 say nighty night & that i love you soooooo much.’ I love that. I mean, like my friends, he doesn’t pretend that he doesn’t know anything about me, or what i’ve done, what i may look like, where i’ve been, how i’ve lived. He knows it all and openly admits it, yet can seem to express himself honestly about it all and love ME for who i am…love bumps n’all. Yet he did go to school with me? Two weeks ago ‘Loverboy’ said ‘i’m slowly feeling more comfortable around you, because i’m learning that you are a normal person after all.’ I think that’s cute, honest and definitely deserves some sort of a *wink.*

I mean, i go around his parents house and have tea with his nan and talk to his family and i love it. It’s a whole new thing to me. I’ve never done it before, in such a comfortable fashion. Now, don’t get me wrong, i’m a *treat* (wiggle wiggle) to date. However, at the same time, a difficult  kitten to date. I know this because men tell men this. Yet, it’s not because i’m evil…because i’m far far from it. I’m playful..which is the delicious other end of the spectrum. I love my life and i’m happy. I don’t need to be evil to me make me feel greater.

I’m difficult to date, because firstly i’m really different to how any boy percieves me…which throws them for a loop and they get confused and terrified. THEN their own delicious mind and sense of self security *toys* with them and gnaws at their every ‘being.’ I, without knowing test the strength of a man. I weed out the faint hearted. I’m a strong puss of glamourousity…i can take you at your worst. Therefore i find it weird when men can’t take me…at my best. I can handle anything…with panache and in stockings. The boy i’m with is strong…and he doesn’t even fully know it.

Anyway enough of all that…i love you, I do. But i will tell you that, not only is my phone ringing right now, but i have lunch a waiting me and a gentleman from Facebook has decided to inbox me a picture of him laid down naked, playing with his *wonka.* Ewww! I don’t find that hot. Yet it is hilarious. Especially when i show my mum and ALL of my friends, over crumpets. Other than that., I’ve had to shout at a few morning pervs, beat a couple young ones with sticks and then explain to another…reluctantly… that I am an actual real life person. I hate having to do that, because a Wunna NEVER needs to explain herself. *Pout-strut* I do get forced to on occasion and yes…i despise it.

One final thing…if you do see me out and about, feel free to come and say ‘hello.’ I’ve had a bundle of messages from people, who tell me exactly where they’ve spotted me, yet they daren’t ‘holla at a biatch’ due to fear. One boy, for example…who is lovely, saw me at a pub with Loverboy at the weekend in the day and didn’t dare to pop over and say ‘hey HEY hey’ (You can do cheeky chappy arms there, i’ll let you.)

Anyway, he didn’t want to say ‘hello’ because he didn’t want to look like he was jumping on the ‘i know Chrissie Wunna bandwagon.’ Now, as far as i know…that’s a pretty GREAT bandwagon to be on…so jump aboard and bring midgets. I replied to him explaining that ‘Girls in booty shorts don’t bite!’ And i really don’t. People are going through this odd ‘see me, stare at me for a rather long period of time, but don’t say anything to me’ phase. Which i find bizarre? I mean i like it, when you interupt my dinner at a restuarant..it means i won’t eat it all and therefore won’t be the next [Insert fat person here.] Plus, I (no joke) like when you stop me at shopping centres, because it means i won’t spaz my money, on any old dildo and pair of ‘so done’ shoes. I enjoy it, when you find me bars drunk, because you can lull me into a false sense of security and make out with me in the back of an ‘about to rip me off’ taxi. I like people. I like you, which is pretty much code for ‘ i’m an attention whore.‘ If you don’t come to mama, i will have to commit to some shameful act of nudity.

Anyway, i need sun. (*Gleefully wiggles off…swearing*)

Good evening, My Lovely licks of lime light. I’m Chrissie Wunna, the Greatest sexy nuisance of ALL time, the Kitty Queen of Party, the Glamour Glamour Puss of tragedy. Other than being all that, (and a bit of a giant floozey) I am also ‘BBF Chrissie.’

 Tonight, and because you are expectional human beings, with pretty grand taste in telly, YOU, yes, YOU (…but only if you are in America, yep the merry merry US of A, *wiggle, wink, hip hop hand, pout*) may watch ‘Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend’ which once again will hit your TV Screens tonight. It’s the ‘Talent contest’ episode (direct eyes to the above picture) where we are told, forced and made ..and by ‘Queen Hilton’ herself to ‘Talent‘ our way into her heart! Bottom line…i get my big comedy boobies out and do faces that will haunt me for the rest of my ‘already soiled’ life.

BUT WAIT!!!! Not only will I, be gracing your American screens of ‘telly’ tonight. But also (and on the same show of complete marvel) WAZZA (@Wazza,) My best friend, the manager of this delicious bundle of ‘site,’ Pontefract’s answer to [insert something mildly comedic in this area] and eater of pies…makes HIS, USA television DEBUT tonight!!! *Applaud here*

Anyway, it’s on TONIGHT, in America, (where i spent pretty much the majority of my twenties) at 10pm, and on the TV GUIDE network. Enjoy! Tune in! And maybe do it drunk. *Winky-pout-thrust*

Morning my Dumplings of Didgeridoo. My Happy little Hummers of Horn Fest. My Kittens of tender ‘sexual’ much and my tiny lumps of love. I’m meant to be attempting to breed. Today i welcomed my ‘crimson tide,’ so well done me for failing miserably. Woohoo! *Grabs Trophy.* I think the rain has put a spanner in the works..and a dollop of stress and horrifically Motherly lectures from The Great Wunna before me, has turned me from ‘chipper’ to maybe wanting to kick things. (I don’t like lectures. I hate being told what to do. Last nights lecture was on ‘the dangers of drinking’ and how it will make me old, because ‘look what happened to Brad Pitt.‘ Infact, no i don’t mind lectures because i enjoy honesty and straight talk. I just don’t like it to be decorated, or in some kind of code, or have Brad Pitt involved.) I love my Mother, I do. Yet she doesn’t half try and control everything tiny thing i do. I’ll never beable to breed under these conditions. God i really need a cuppa tea and a bunch of fertility pills.

Moving on…Last night Loverboy was so sweet. He always calls me after work and to tell me how much he loves me. Which is always rather handy, because i’ve usually spent the day missing him and wanting him to be there when i look to my left. We’ve come a long way fast and one of the reasons why (and i’m telling you this because i get messages about how we make it work on a daily) is because instead of complicating ‘Love,’ we’ve just accepted it openly. No game was played. From day one, i told him exactly how i felt about him, without fear. I’m not scared to be open, nor do i fear rejection. (Fear ruins everything!)

Luckily, he responded with love and a mild moment of  ‘feeling me up.‘ We kissed..and after our first date, he told me that he loved me. I loved him right back…madly. But we’ve always fancied each other, even since school…except at that time he was like 12. (Lovely, lovely! Infact, i’m kinda dating my Childhood sweetheart.) I’m actually about 5 years older than him and I find him incredibly beautiful. He’s pretty much the perfect man and what I find sexy about him is the fact that he’s not afraid to BE HAPPY. People destory their own happiness. We’re two people that welcome ‘happy.’

We’re actually hanging out later today..and i can’t wait to get my grubby little hands all over him. I see him and my whole entire ‘being’  immediately melts. I smooch him to death, to the point wear his lips end up smeared in pink lip gloss. I know how to mark my territory. *Wink-Pout.* (The old lipstick on the collar trick.) But ThenAGAIN….he wins, as i find myself with my legs at ‘Quarter to nine,’ telling him my ‘Ooh mama’ is all his and how much i love his ‘Hey hey sailor.’ I love this man and have a fairytale. You could have one to. You just need grab a gin and start one. Baby step your way to your own happy ending. (Even if it does end, in a quick change of underwear and a side of chlamydia, and an asian woman, demanding $50.)

There’s a lot of praising of Loverboy today, because last night he discovered THE BLOG, due to the fine art of a work colleague, Googling his slanted eyed floozey, with boobies..and reading out a post to him…word for word, about our sexy little moments of ‘dirt.’ I had deliciously referred to his willy as a ‘whoop-dee’ and described how he toyed with his ‘matey’ whilst i committed to being a ‘Kinkerella.’ Oopsie! HAHA. I was on the phone to him late last night, after talking to Gay Gary Ponty and well Pete (Loverboy) wasn’t mad at all. He actually LOVED it and thought it was funny. FINALLY, a boy with a sense of humour. (IN YOUR FACE JONATHAN!!!)

Anyway, i’ve got to tan and groom and all sorts. Therefore i will leave you with this:

You are reading this blog with the actual people of the world…but like really. It’s read on every continent of this merry planet…via the fine art of ‘word of mouth.’ (That still cracks me up, to this day. I have no idea how it happened?) The five current…(as in today) countries that my blog is most popular in.. are: (And i do mean, where it’s read the most)

1. USA (The Country that no matter what has celebrated Chrissie Wunna & I’m currently on the telly over there innit.)

2. UK (My Motherland…The country that taught me to drink at 15 and ‘put out’ before really neccessary.)

3. Russia (Wazza finds this funny.)

4. Singapore (Yay, for the asian persuasion.)

5. Burma (I can’t remember if they all still hate me there?)

The two countries, waaay down the list where it is least popular today are Jamaica and Oman.

OH WAIT!!! Before i go, news just in via Facebook Chat by Wazza. (Who is pretty much the only boy i let run my life.)

He’s just messaged me this:

 ’Here are some phrases people have searched for, to find your blog:

.Ann summers meadowhall peep holes

.Chrissie wunna pokemon

.Tranny booty gum (I especially like this one)

.Chrissie wunna wazza

.Shagging a cream egg (Ooh actually that could be a fave.)

Welcome to my life…I’m growing up, and blogging my journey as I go along. Thankyou for being arsed to read it. I love you x

Loving today. I’m working hard and winking at various strangers of the opposite sex. The sun is out, the world is a candy coloured coat of  ‘delicious,’ there is a swigger in my swagger and again…i can’t actually believe that it’s Friday night all over again? My life’s mildly eventful, therefore it oddly feels like it’s been Friday night EVERY night and ‘aaah’ my Dollies, here we are again! *Grabs leopard print heels*

I’ve just spent the last hour, having to sent 62 people a personal message froms me on Facebook. Like i’ve been saying, due to a friend limit, I can’t add anymore people to my profile, therefore i am having to use my Fanpage as my 2nd profile..which to me makes sense. Unfortunately others, don’t enjoy this concept, (lol) because they feel they’re secretly missing out on something devilishly exciting. Luckily, the clever ones have added the Fanpage and well I banter with them merrily. Others re-request, and re-request and demand to be ‘on the list’ so to speak (kinda like i would really..) because they believe the Fan Page is inferior to my actual profile page. But it’s not. Neither are anything too special. ..just me in bras (for once) smiling, plugging every single little thing i do. (Why is my wine glass empty? *Puzzled face*)

But anyway, i sent everyone who was mildly concerned a personal message, because i’m tipsy and now everyones happy..the world’s a better place. *swigs rum.* If i’m being honest, i did actually find room for one shirtless boy. haha. But please, I’m Chrissie Wunna. I’m the Ultimate Glamour Puss. I deleted one of my real life friends, to actually fit him in. HAHAHAHA! Oopsie! *Wiggle wink*

I’m really happy on Fridays. I think it’s more due to the sun, than the fact that it is Friday. I’ve spent the day laughing in merriment at pointless rubbish, which i believe puts me on a pedastal of ‘Greatness.’ I feel happy, playful and excited..and i can’t wait to get my weekend a started…with (herpes.) I’ve got a lot of options tonight. I’m not sure which one i want to commit to? I’ll have to see how i feel later…

Anyway, i’m now going to groom and i do want you to know that I’ve now labelled @Wazza ‘GOD!’ He is my can do man. My best friend ever. The boy who can predict my move, before I EVEN know i’m going to make it. Basically yesterday, i was all glum and moody. I wanted more facebook fans…we got me 1000 more. I wanted to beable to chat to them. He added a CHAT to my website page…(look below…you can chat with me RIGHT NOW)…I wanted some other things that would make me smile. I really can’t remember what…but with a *thrust-grunt-Wazza dance* he did them all and even in record time. What an amazing being!!! You all need a Wazza! He manages this whole entire site. No, infact, my whole entire world of ‘Cyber.’  I’ve known him for about 15 entire long ass years!!! When i say, you all need one. You CAN’T have mine. You have to find your own.  *Waves threatenning fist at you.* He is telling me to stop praising him, because his ego will definitely be forced to land…therefore i’ve been instructed to go back to calling him an ‘Idiot.’ He liked it better.

I’m off to have fun. Hope you do too babies!!! xx

Afternoony, My Kittens of sasserilla! My life has got a bit bustley…in good ways and bad ways, and well if you add wine to that, high heels, a career and a boy…then you have m’ m’  magic,’…which i am choosing to label as ‘stress.‘  Woohoo!!  To be honest, i’m not really stressed, im actually really lucky. Yet having to juggly, McJuggle everything all at once…a work life, a home life, a love life and my own being of drunken insanity…means i’m a busy girl…a lot busier than anyone would imagine. AND i even have people who do things for Me. I never knew being a ‘Lady of Leisure’ could be so time consuming. The work is strutting in…which means the moola moola is to! Oh and just so you know, i hate juggling. I think being able to throw 3 or more things in the air and catch them in different hands is pointless…at least beable to do it wasted, in underwear, on fire and with midgets. I said entertain me, not catalyse my room spin.

For some reason, i’m weird and I’m never one to let anyone in my real life, know how busy I am, because i’m oddly quite good at keeping myself to myself, marching deliciously forward with my head down, doing it with a *wiggle and a giggle* and catergorizing people, things and situations in differnt boxes of ‘ooh laa.‘ I don’t mix anything, work, play, boys or family (unless, two boys are in the same family.) I only really mix drinks…and i do that rather well. I’m like an unbeatable force of drunken ‘oooh laaa.‘ Infact, (and here’s a dollop of egomania for you).. I actually believe that even work wise right now, i’m a secret unbeatable force. There really is no way anyone can stop me, at this stage. The Wunnaship has taken off. Some have rockets. I have an, on fire, giant disco ball.. with a cocktail bar inside it, midgets, misfits and hotties. It’s carried by my gays…until ofcourse they get tired. Then we let strippers do it. But only the shirtless male ones, that we really dont allow to speak. *Gets whip.* Go faster!!!!! I’m really confident right now. Brimming with ‘watch out kittens, coz here i come.’ If you can’t beat Wunnaland, Join it. Plus, why would you want to beat it, if you don’t have the correct footwear? I am joking…(not joking at all)…there really is room for EVERYONE. Make yourself a world…and we can all play them together…with gin and ridiculously ginormous confetti showers!! I LOVE MY LIFE!!!

Okay, away from all that, because i can’t really speak about work. I had the best comedy sex with ‘Loverboy’ two nights ago. We had gone out for red red wine…we did two bottles, had a baby bicker (he got a little upset because he felt a friend was trying to ‘steam in on me’ and take me away from him. If this story ends with Me in a cage…) I bizarrely liked it. It made me realize that he not only loved me, but WANTED me and was prepared to protect what was his. But anyway, we were fine afterward, and ended up having really good nookie…don’t we always.

Now, during a bit of ‘hanky panky’ i’m quite good at the old ‘dirty talk.’ Yes, it is a talent of mine and yes i really do believe i should be given trophies for it. Oh and it’s always quite one sided, because Loverboy, is shyer than I am. Not with actions. ( I mean at the end of the day, he’s a guy.) But with words. I feel that most boys i ‘dandy’ with are quite mentally stimulated. Therefore, there’s really no other way to get them going, then giving them a show, a story, a purpose!! *Wink, pout, hair toss.* I really do know…I promise. I’m a girl that has been created BY MEN!

Anyway, i’m doing my thing and getting all odd and kinky. Hmm…it is quite embarrassing now i’m talking about it? Haha. But yeah, towards the end, i start talking about ‘G’s’….as in ’sized boobies.’ (The word ‘bitch‘ was in there too. Lol…sorry mum!) I’ll let you guys come up with your own phrase of *kink.* (I know, how interactive of me.) Annnnnyway, Loverboy (Pete)…it’s nice to keep him human, thinks i’ve said ‘cheese,’ as opposed to ‘G’s’ and the funny thing about it was (remember we are having sex at this point) that everytime i said it,(G’ s)…he’d get crazy horny and *pump* harder. HAHAHA. Now, i’m there thinking he thought i was rambling on about new G-sized boobies and i’m noticing that he’s getting more and more excited, and so i’m saying it repeatedly…like my life depended on it. (HAHAHA.)

He get’s HORNED up…hearing what he thought was the word ‘cheese,’ not ‘G’s and begins to pump insanely, like he’s some kind of  Gladiator (which i like) and man juices, like never before!!!! HAHA. Afterward…y’know the cuddley muddley stage of post-sex contentment, we begin to retrack and talk about what went on. (Note: There’s me thinking i’m obviously the best lay ever.) Therefore i’m HORRIFIED by the fact that the WHOLE ENTIRE time, he thought i was telling him that i wanted him to place slabs of CHEESE on me, mid ‘rumpy’ and be his BITCH. He just looked at me puzzled and laughed saying, ‘I thought you were being a bit weird…haha…so i just kinda went with it. Plus i was hungry.’ HAHAHA!

Bottom line, it must have worked…because the next day he invited me around for dinner with his family. He cooked it all himself, like a whole three course meal. We had wine, i bantered with his Mum, Day and Nan, over soup, hotpot and chocolate tarte. I’m having a really great time with him…and although i get nervous thinking that the honeymoon period must be about to come  to a giant emergency stoppage, it seems that it just keeps on going.It’s like Me. You can batter me down and chuck me off a block of flats and i’ll just get back up, tell you off for messing my hair up, probably light a cigarette and in the greatest heels seductively venture on off, to my next party! I’m gonna give the credit to booze and car sex.

I love you. Have a Wunna-FULL day. Woohoo! (I can’t actually believe it’s FRIDAY night AGAIN, so quickly!)

Morning…my Pretty little treats of ‘Rumpa.’ This is your Ultimate Glamour Puss. Your (and i was actually called this by @Eddclay, who i simply can’t help but adore) total ‘Puss in high heeled boots.’ I feel amazing today. I’m being a complete Lady of leisure and waking up approximately two hours ago and in my own time, has really proved to be quite quite delightful. I’ve proved there really is rest for the wicked. I’m having a cuppa tea. I’m planning my daily social calender. I get to spend time with the ‘Handsome’ that I love today..who is the new foundation to my rather delicious ‘being,’ and i’m refusing to do anything that anyone tries to force me to do today. I really don’t find FORCE, threats or basic moody ‘childlike’ behaviour appealing. I’m talking about men.

Now I’m a chica, who’s in a position where a bundle of gentleman from around the world bombard Me, almost every moment, with their thoughts of Me, on a daily. It doesn’t really matter whether i’m on the street, in an office, in a shopping centre, on a stage, in a magazine, tinkering on my Facebook page, hiding under a bed…they will find me…and they will be armed with a boner…a scary one, followed by a bitter ‘you don’t love me, so now i will tantrum.’ Now, if i don’t adore you…i’m not a soft girl and i’m quite in tune with the art of ‘tantruming.’ I know ‘tantrums’ well…i’ve thrown the biggests of wobblies, as a spoilt infant. AND i know men well….better than they think i do…which puts me in a jolly old position of POWER. (Which being a Glamour Puss…I LOVE. *Gets a twinge in her panties.*)

I’ve woken up to a busy morning of ‘I love you, i love you’s’ from Women, girls and teenagers…which i love. Like i told you, i am ALL for the girls of this world and mainly because I am one! Even though i champion behind women..well the good ones, who don’t waste time on ‘hate.’ I also enjoy men…i feel very comfortable around them. I’m a girl who has a great deal more male friends than neccessary and ofcourse i’m a kitten, so i have a roving eye for a well chisled ‘handsome.’ (However, right now, i completely adore the one i have. He’s sooo yummy shirtless. I can’t help but let him get away murder.)

What i don’t like however, is MOANEY men. Infact MOANEY anyone. I’ve had a fair share of inbox ‘love’ by the gents this morning. Yet at the same a bundle, of ‘my ego hurts, give me attention,’ boring much ‘hoo haa.’ Boys…this is not the way to win me over. I’m not an easy pull at the best of times…let alone when you’re throwing a hissy fit. Anyway, yeah i’ve had ‘You aren’t bothered about me and you don’t follow me on Twitter/You think you’re better than Me/You don’t love me/You don’t make the effort to talk to me/I’m not a fan, i’m a friend/I want you’re pussy/I want to get to know you and you won’t let me/Talk to me, Talk to me NOW/ Do you think i’m hot? Do you? Do you? Do you?/Well f*** you, if you can’t be bothered to talk to me/ I want one on one time/ I want to date you and if you don’t you’re a complete fucking bitch.’

This is my life, constantly. No matter where i am. Whether i am online or just out and about. If i am online, then my facebook chat is insanity…which i don’t mind, because it’s usually filled with the popping words of lovelies. But know that i have about 24-36 boxes, *popping* at one time. Therefore even if i wanted to talk to you all, personally and deeply….i couldn’t possibly. Plus, i now don’t like to spread myself thinly. I’m take a deep interest in people and their lives, truely. I talk to everyone, i can…and when i do…i really want to get to the nitty gritty of their existance.

Today,  I had a moany boy, state that Chrissie Wunna..(i think that’s me…) makes an ‘average effort’ to talk to her fans. OOoh i HATE the injustice of that statement! IF ANYTHING, i am KNOWN for TALKING, TWEETING, TINKERING, TAMPERING and everything in between, with ALL of those who express the need to ‘nitter natter’ with me. I love it. I love people. I’m a true socialite. An actual  ’being’ that loves to be social. Therefore, if i’m not talking to you, or tweeting you, or whatever else you really might fancy. It is either because, you have done something in order to make me not think you are a positive person. OR you haven’t made yourself noticeable to Me. I mean, i can’t tweet you back, if you don’t Tweet me in the first place. (Obviously.) But if you do…you will 100% get a reply. INNIT! I spend a lot of time, talking to everyone…because i’m actually grateful for you. I think actions speak louder than words..and my actions prove that i am. (Even if you kick and scream at Me. lol.) Yet, saying that, my words are rather delicious!  I love my words…even when sober. *Is puzzled as to why there’s no gin in her tea?*

On a more chipper chipper *wiggle-wink* note. I do feel glorious today and almost like my Wednesday needs to be enjoyed….celebrated. Yours does too. Therefore, if you feel a little bit glum, laugh it off, and make your day AMAZING. When you feel amazing, amazing things happen. Life is pretty okay. I mean we’re usually quite content until one tiny thing happens, which puts a dent in our ‘ooh laa.’ It’s all about BOUNCE BACK ABILITY. It’s not really about the bad things that happen to you. (People use that as a shield from living and feeling…Kind of an excuse.)  It’s all about how fast you can recover and when you have that down…then you my darling dumplings of love…WILL HAVE A HAPPY LIFE!! Know how to have a good time. Do what makes you happy. Be whoever it is, you always wished to be.

I constantly have fun, love, live, and have surrounded myself with truely good hearted, warm spirited, positive, lovelies. Who actually LOVE their life. It sounds so cheesey but it works. People like to be around me, because i help then love their life. It’s a talent of mine. I can find the fun in ANYTHING! I have no idea how i can? But i can!! Every single day i get messages from people all over the world…who i’ve accidentally inspired to have a little fun. It could be my purpose? I don’t know? But this WUNNA LOVE thing, is taking over continents. (God, i should charge you all…and form a cult, where I get to sit in a gold and pink, cushioned altar, with horny toga- buff males, who fan me and feed me grapes.)

My mum said the strangest thing to me last night, ‘ One day Chrissie, something AMAZING is gonna happen to you, and it will proceed anything that you every thought would happen. I’ve never ever been prouder.’ (If i didn’t have sherry, i would’ve remembered the rest of it.)

Well good evening my munchkins of  ’merry’ much. I’m drinking sherry. I was sober all yesterday, due to puppy sitting and being infront of the parents of a ‘Handsome,’ therefore i needed a bit of a drinky poo tonight…with me being a cocktail needing puss of glamour, of wiggly woo.

Yesterday, i puppy sat, the boy i’m datings dog. Well it belongs to his parents. Loverboy and I have never really spent a WHOLE entire day together, in a home like environment…and especially not sober! I got there around noon, and i left at about midnight…i know i had a great time, simply because the last thing he said to me, as i stepped out of his car and went to gently swing the door shut, was ‘Did you remember you knickers?’

Thankfully, spending a whole entire day together, in a home, sober wasn’t bad at all… I mean we are really different people, i’m a sequinned, Glamour puss ’party girl’ who’s trying to exercise muscles that have never been stretched before…and i do mean the whole calm, ‘settley’ down thing. (All my other muscles stretch quite easily. Lol.) And well he finds this whole ‘home life’ thing quite easy. Loverboy enjoys quiet and peace. I enjoy noise  (made by me) and shirtless dancing boys. He’s been out drinking with me a great great deal, therefore i’m learning to ‘homebody‘ a little more…because i’m good like that. It’s a whole new world for me…and i’m liking it. I actually think we’re really great influences on each other. I make him feel confident and feel worth something again.  He makes me learn the art of peace & harmony…but lets me do it in heels. (High ones) Like i honestly believed i was fated to walk my fabulous path in life alone….But it seems there is actually room for one more, afterall. This boy looks at Me and tells me he wants to spend the next 60 years with me. (I’ll be dead, but that’d be lovely.) He really actually loves me. I’m used to being rolled out of a bed, and into the next available taxi. Well sometimes…i’m the one running for the taxi. (Wink-Pout-Giggle)

Y’know puppy sitting isn’t too bad, with a ‘Handsome‘ that adores you. All you have to do is give the puppy more attention than neccessary, and the ‘Handsome’ will get jealous. Men LOVE attention and i’m an attention whore, therefore i know how to work it. I cuddled and kissed and fluffed up the puppy good and proper…my ‘Handsome’ began to get jealous, told the puppy off for ‘steaming in on his bird’ and then locked him outside! Hahaha…awful! Then we laid on the sofa, and canoodled. Boys can never have girls over and not want to canoodle. I was in baby pink and tiny skirt, with chandelier diamantes in my ears, and boobies, being a little bundle of very deliberate ‘delicious.’ You can try and resist temptation…but yeah…you’re not gonna win that battle. I’m a Wunna. I mean I winked and pouted like a champion, and before you knew it, he was smooching me, cooking me the most delicious lunch, then taking me to little private room to watch telly, as we both squided onto a reclining chair that rocked, watched a documentary on autistic children (how romantic,) then i guess he did actually win in the end, because i found myself putting on a rather ‘dirty much’ show for him..whilst he played with his ‘Whoop-dee’ and i played with my ‘Oopsie.’ We’re in love…it’s fine. I had mucky man juice, spurted all over me…whilst Joan Rivers was on the telly, being roasted. Aaah young love. You couldn’t write a better fairytale.  Normal fairytales don’t end with you in a bathroom frantically scrubbing ’man juice’ off your pure parts of lady, so his Dad wouldn’t find out…I had it on my boob, my wrist, my shirt, my thigh, my hair, my life….It was actually funny. It happens.

Anyway, i’ve had an amazing day today. I’m LIVING and loving it. Have fun!! Be happy, sweet and playful and you’re dreams will come true. I’ve never felt happier. (God i love this sherry.) Today, i’ve caught up with all my friends, done a bit of business, decided to make my Facebook Fanpage my second Profile…because it doesn’t have a friend limit. I’m a social, Puss of Glamour…you can’t limit my friends!! I had 62 requests today and because i’m a general cutie chops, with ‘feist’ and not a big old ‘bitchy boo,’ i sent each one of them a personal message telling them to add my 2nd profile (My Fan Page…plug plug) because my current profile is FULLAGE. I’ve kinda actually left my Facebook chat on for hours. I’m waiting for the pervy wurvies to make their usual ‘lovely lovely’ comments, so i can immediately delete them and make more room, for those who don’t have their hands down their pants, in a dark corner.

Talked to Loverboy today, (My hero, my knight, my ‘only boy to beable to put up with me’ other than Wazza. Loverboy had a test today and he passed it because i told him that if he did, i’d dress up as a slutty cheerleader for him…and &^%$£&.* Also talked to Jonny today, who filled me in on the London drama, and wondered how pigeons mated. Then i talked to actor Danny in Manchester, who had heard that i am nothing like people percieve me and that i’m actually rather posh and finally Latin Lover messaged me and told me to hurry on back to LA. (Where i pretty much grew up…emotionally.)

I’m quite popular with the boys right now, which is great because i’ve ‘cleaned’ up my image. I was always complaining about ‘The pervs.’ However, i realized i was giving out a really wrong message and not doing myself any favours. Plus, i’m in an odd position now, where a lot of young girls are looking up to me and i’m actually realizing it’s important, to at least attempt to be a decent role model…even if only one person is listenning…and that’s out of love. I love you all…be you young, old, girl, boy, gay, straight, happy, sad, drunk, sober, fat, thin, feisty or still. I’m a playful, love bunny of ‘oooh’…not a slaggamuffin bitchy boo. My pictures are now showing you who i really am.. .and i really love that. I also would really love it if ALL testicles tasted like jelly beans….but we can’t win them all. I AM TRYING. (Just go with it.)

I bottom line, want you to live your dreams, have fun, be happy and know that i love you…with a dollop of ‘ooh laa’ ofcourse. I also want to go to @EddClay’s Uni, in Cardiff. He sent me a picture of himself, being the Ultimate Glamour puss, whilst he was in the middle of a lecture. I loved it. He’s delicious. I should really lick him…but i have people who do that for me.

Remember that you can achieve anything your heart desires, all you have to do is try. Dreams come true every single day. Mine did. Yours can too. Just keep baby stepping and do it in your OWN time.

If you’re reading this and in America, ‘Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend‘ is on TONIGHT for you to have a watchy…on the TV Guide Channel…i think around 10pm? I dunno really? I’m BBF Chrissie. Chrissie Wunna. A delicious merry bundle of you already know that…but for  those of you who don’t…WELCOME TO WUNNALAND. (Bring a bottle…oh and you can leave your dignity at the door.)

If you spend your life half bored and half drunk (stole that off a fan) then there’s really no reason why you shouldn’t be reading this blog. Remember that life is a human experience….it’s an amazing gift…so live it, the way you always wanted to! Celebrate being YOU!

I love you x