Hey Bitches! I’m currently in Yorkshire as we speak. I mosey on back daaan saaaf tomorrow. All i wanna do is get a good nights sleep and if that means i have to Bimbo it down to the countryside for a wee bit of ‘night night,’ then i shall my Queens…i shall. (Why am i talking, like i’m drunk??? I’m far from such grandeur.) Fuck i forgot to buy wine!! ARGH! I can’t do X-factor tonight, without wine! I hate myself.
Anyway, i went shopping today as it seems i have nothing. I was in Doncaster, the town that birthed me….did a lot of waving and posing for young girls who have great taste in BBF-ness. I also kept randomly bumping into everyone i know, which although lovely, kept stunning me and well after about 2 hours of shopping, i began to get really grumpy and pissed off with the world, as it seemed i wasn’t having any free time without being watched. The problem with being a nuisance, is that people want to WATCH you be one. I’ll be in a shop and have people follow me on occasion just to see if i’m going to do anything glamourously ‘out of order.’ Then i got yelled at by my Mother for not buying anything worth buying…like a kettle. A KETTLE??? What the fuck do i need to buy a kettle for when i can just take hers. Hahahaha… By the time i’m done here, it’s gonna look like she got robbed. I’m taking it ALL and maybe even a kitten on the train back with me!
I’m feeling good. I’m now half pissed off because i only just remembered i don’t have vino. I’m trying to stay positive during a time when i could quite easily throw a diva and well people really do need to STOP touching my FACE!! I don’t like it!! Haahaha. It gives me the heebies jeebies, but it is good in an odd way because i can blame my spots on YOU. I’d rather you kiss, then touch it.
Anyway, before i trained back to Yorkshire yesterday evening…I did dinner at a place called ‘Sushi Salsa’ (don’t know if you know it) in Camden, by the lock. I’ve been there before and well sushi’s one of my favourite things to eat right now, so i’m filling up on it, whenever i can. I dined with Jonny. We’ve pretty much done dinner everywhere. Well not everywhere, but we do do dinner a lot, so it’s a normal occurance for me. Yeah it was cool, he was happy…and i prefer happy Jonny to the moody little Jonny. We bantered. We sushi’ed. We laughed and got drunk. We talked about the past, present and the future and how both of us are ‘Regina’ from Mean Girls. Made fun of eath other a little. Made ‘sweet sweet’ with each other a little. Talked about refraining from being ‘Slaggy.’ I’m quite posessive over him. And well yeah, it was a good time…but it usually is. We’re fun folk. Even though we did almost touch on sensitive subjects. I did actually want to talk to him about ‘stuff’ but i didn’t get around to it…we bumped into his friend (who i know anyway) on the walk to the station…which was a bit awkward for me really and ruined our ‘moment.’ Hahahaha.. EveryTIME!!
Omg! And yeah this bitch of a whore at Sushi Salsa, (note: the food is good, but there’s this bitch who needs a slap) wouldn’t let us sit at a table. (They have these dug out table things, that kinda sort of makes it look like your all japenese and sitting on a cushion on the floor.) Anyway, there were LOTS of free tables that were’ empty and she refused to let us sit in ANY of them as she assured us that they were FULL. (Hahaha…) They were NOT FULL. No-one was in ANY of them. LOL. They were empty! I’m off the telly goddamit! Hahaha… She got pissed off at us repeatedly asking if we could sit at a table, so she seated us really low to the ground, at some lowly bar, with a view of a glass window stuffed with raw salmon. It’s kinda like the ‘naughty step,’ in any Japanese restuarant. I didn’t really care too much, as that’s happened to me once before when i ashed in a Zen Garden. A monk…who wasn’t really a monk. He was just a waiter…in a PRETEND Zen garden. Got pissed off at me and had me moved to a ‘naughty step’ in a tea bar in Los Angeles. He kept having to bow at me at the end of every abusive sentence by a koi pond, so it was actually hilarious!!
Anyway, I had fun. Jonny looked quite trendy and i looked quite normal…or less like a ‘slag’ as he put it.
I’m turning a lot more normal now, which is really quite worrying. I feel like i’ve past my knowledge on to the masses and now i’m watching you all find the ‘crazy’ in you and nodding with approval from afar. Lots of my friends stick to the ‘What would Wunna do‘ guidline…not knowing that it gets you into deep fucking shit (hahahah…don’t know why i find that funny,) and now i’ve created little monsters around the globe…it’s fun watching you all go through what i had too and well LIVE! Life to me is a massive performance. It’s a playground. Play it well. Rock it right. And elbow anyone you don’t like out the way within seconds, otherwise they really will start to get on your tits. (And really not the good kind.)
I’m sorting out my love life. My tummy hurts! Need booze. (Oh and the pictures above are from Embassy, when i took my friends up there with me.) Notice on one of the pictures, someone is actually talking, like presenting something rather important and we’re simply having our own little Mothers meeting right by her side whilst on stage, not paying any attention and pretty much oblivious to the fact that we’re on a stage with eyes watching us. It means we’re all natural attention whores. Or means the stage is like a second home to us. You decide?
Love ya x