Morning my fresh cherubs if delightfulness! What a weekend. I will tell you that as of right now, I actually fee 10 feet tall 🙂 and well, it’s a great feeling to have, when it simply pops up by accident. 🙂 🙂
Work is great. life is great, family is great! My business plan is almost complete and I’m actually going to do well at all this. I KNOW!! EEK! I couldn’t have it better, other than a dash bit more of success. That will come and then you’ll see me BEAM. 🙂
If I could give you any advice, this glitzy Monday morning, it would be to not let anything get you down, when you have so much that is obviously going for you. Make your mark. Be someone. Do it with positive *strut-strut.* There is always time and room for you.
Share strength with others…that’s the way forward. (If you don’t get what i’m saying, my example is that…Chase & I share strength. We place our best bits of genius together to gain a result that is mighty, positive and successful. If you share weakness…which is what I used to do in London &when I was broken in Hollywood…it’s the part of your life when you’re lost and well it’s amazing how many other ‘lost’ folk you find when you your downward spiraling and the reason for that is because ‘lost’ people cling onto other lost to justify their actions and make themselves feel better. I mean, I would go on these drink benders with people who i didn’t even know were also in emotional pain. The whole Boyband Jonny thing. The whole divorce thing. During the time and because I was quite popular, I thought I was having the best time ever. Now to look back and I have HUGE life experience…i notice that, that time was the time, that I was most unglued.All i remember from that time were the people who were actually together and strong…and luckily to this day they are still here for me and not so weirdly they are the only ones who ended up being HUGE successes. They MADE their dreams come true. )
Ruby and I are as close as ever. She has had the BEST weekend ever, If there has been a Play area in this vicinity, in fact entire town…this weekend, the fruit of my loins has played in it, on it and with it. Pete took her out and about because Junior was super poorly, meaning it’s not really fair to keep Ruby couped up. She loved each moment of it, but unfortunately last night..:) and I shouldn’t laugh, Pete took her down a dark purple, windy, slide. He had laid down and had her sat on him, and whilst going down it in the pitch black, he accidentally lost control and the slide swung him onto his side, meaning that Rubes whacked her head on every single bump and side going..and ALL THE WAY DOWN. 🙂 Ruby’s a toughie, so she got over it,bruised but fine. But she sure as hell and of course… loves the dramatics of it all. 🙂 When she got home she demanded that I shout at him for being irresponsible. LOL. My first example of love and I have a whole 5 for you today, to inspire you all! 🙂 This morning at 7am…and because he felt so guilty and felt so worried, he called to make sure she was okay. Example ONE! Yay!
So right, Juniors been poorly all weekend. He has thrush in his mouth and well yesterday it got so badly infected and spread across his lips and parts of his face, I had to take him to A & E simply because he was in so much pain, he was screaming, the GP’s were closed and he couldn’t eat…and as you know, he’s my ‘chubba.’ This child NEEDS FOOD.
Beautiful day. I had spent the morning working on my business plan for the beauty line. Working hard, working the time zones and with both babies. Ruby..until she went to play on slides. Junior who was crying and puking on all my work. But I did it, because…I CAN. Please, ‘Sheerah’s’ got nothing on me.
Got all my work done, then drove Junior to Casualty…waited AGES. I mean we were there for hours and hours and hours. I even NEEDED to buy baby supplies before the shops closed, as they close early on Sundays and I didn’t even get time to do that! And I didn’t have help. He was in pain, at the same time as giggling. he played peekaboo with strangers and then would cringe when his mouth hurt. IT WAS A LOOONG DAY and we saw all sorts of people. This young drugged up girl, all sweaty and unbathed was sat next to me, escorted and handcuffed to police men. Two of them. She asked me for cigarettes, like an idiot. She was even gurning. Eww! That was an example of human being ‘lost.’ THEN (AND JUST BECAUSE THE DEAR LORD WANTED ME TO HAVE FAITH IN THE WORLD) a girl, a pregnant 20 something girl walked in, all smiles and super chatty with me. She walked straight in and immediately began talking. On her way home, she found an 88 year old granny, laid on the pavement with a gash in her head, her glasses thrown off her face, blood smeared all over her and with her nose out of place. She herself was sick, but she picked the grandma up, placed her in her car and drove her to A & E to make sure she got treated. She waited with her the entire time and call her her daughter to come. Who might I add, didn’t say ‘thank you’ on her arrival. But she was bit a chav and sweary. The pregnant girl, all bubbly and whole, told me all that had happened and well the way she talked to the granny was so nurturing and gentle, She tried to make her happy. THAT IS MY SECOND EXAMPLE OF LOVE. She didn’t have to be there for that granny, but she gave up her time to do so, out of love. And don’t think that EVERYONE would do that for someone they don’t know, as she told me a bunch of teenage boys, on route to the pub saw her and walked straight past her. *Tut-tut* It reminded me that there were good people in the world. Example TWO!
Junior got seen to, screamed for most of it, waited for hours and hours. Due it if being so bad, we then had to go see the local GP at the main hospital. Waited on our own for hours…and it was kinda a moment. One of those moments were nothing else in the world mattered buy our love. It was completely silent, empty and there we were in life. Cuddling, loving and making sure all was well. It’s in those moments when you feel most proud to be a mum. He really needed me because he was helpless, in pain and didn’t know why, how or what to do? I was there…being Mum. It felt AMAZING. Just the way he looked at me, felt amazing. I mean, I have these moments with Ruby all the time because she a tad bit more complex than Junior. Yet, it was fulfilling, to know that I was there with him and GOOD AT THIS MUM STUFF! I was MUM…and in that moment he looked at me like I was his only bit of lifeline. 🙂 That’s my example THREE. yeah, a bit boasty. But whatever, some kids don’t have great Mum’s. Caring for the lives you’ve created, by giving your time, heart and cuddles matters. I felt mighty, strong and completely EMPOWERED. My own mum called over and over again to see if I needed help. Bless her. I had it DOWN! 🙂
My example FOUR. I got home around 6pm. Missed all the stores. Missed all the errands. Didn’t even managed in the end to get the right medication for Baby Junior because the hospital had run out of stock. Meaning I had a trip to Wakefield to go to the next morning.
Got in. Happy. Tired. But palying with my baby boy. Starving because I didn’t have time to eat all day..and at 7pm…a knock at my door. My poor little jet lagged Mummy, in a bobble hat had come over JUST to give me a NANDOS, incase I didn’t get time to eat. 🙂 Aww! I LOVE MY MAMA. SH’ES BACK! And I can feel the love already. Her going to Burma was hard enough, but I felt strong. Now that she’s home…I feel EVEN GREATER. There’s no chiseling my ‘ooh laa’ right now, because I AM GLOWING. I mean at 64 years old, she got up out of bed, feeling jet lagged, thought that I might be hungry, so she drove all the way Nandos, bought me a takeout and delivered it to my door, just because she loved. I’m the LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD. And i’ve had people complain at me because they think I act like a little girl, be it men, the public…whoever else. But the great think about it is that I AM strong and independant. Look a how well i’m doing right now…babies, business…the world. Yet at the same time, I have the luxury of still BEING A LITTLE GIRL, because I HAVE SUCH GREAT PARENTS, who never give up on being parents and always make sure that I remember that I AM THEIR LITTLE GIRL anf that they ARE HERE to look after me…always an until the day they pass. Awww! I never have to wish to go back to my childhood ever and simply because I have that feeling of love and commitment still to this day. LOVE HAVING MAMA BACK!
Mum didn’t even want to stop because she was knackered, so she literally just came over to drop off food for me. It made me happy tear. 🙂 I felt whole and gushed with love again. That was my example 4.
This morning was hectic…I had to drive all the way into Wakefield with both kiddies, to grab Junior’s prescription…to then go back to a local GP, to then grab his medication, to then do a nursery run. I made calls for help, yet no-one picked up. Sod’s law isn’t it! 🙂 Everyone calls when you don’t need them or after the drama of an event. Yet when it’s important..aside from my Mum, who’ll pick up after one ring from me. Lmao. It’s hard to get a hold of folk. But shit happens. I muscled up and I did what any normal being would do in the same situation and did it all myself…AND WITH A SMILE. Im dead proud of myself right now. You can tell!
Then the worst happened!!
Ruby decided to run into a middle of busy road. I SCREAMED AND DARTED ACROSS THE ROAD WITH JUNIOR IN MY ARMS TO GET HER. Horns were beeped and everything. It was nutty. And this was when we were back in our local area. I have never panicked so much in my life…and she did it for attention because she felt that she wasn’t getting enough, but not knowing how DANGEROUS running into a busy road would be. She was even giggling during her run in! I LOST MY TEMPER and I NEVER DO THAT WITH THE CHILDREN. I had Junior in my arms because I couldn’t put him in the car without having a hold of Ruby and in that moment they both got a stern telling off! I mean there are LEVELS of being silly and that was not okay with me.
Yeah, there tears, there were big tears…I mean Ruby even got a nose bleed and she’s never even had one of those in her life! She just looked at me crying ‘I’m sorry mum. I’m sorry mum,’ and every inch of me felt bad. I felt bad because she didn’t know what the danger of her doing that would be. I felt bad because she did it due to me not having enough eyes, arms and attention for both of them at the same time in that moment. SHE COULD’VE GOT RUN OVER. Junior was screaming. Ruby was screaming. I was devastated. So we all just went and sat in the car for a moment of chill.
No-one said anything. But I looked at Ruby through the front mirror of my car. She had old tear runs down her face but she was smiling. She looked at me and said, ‘Sorry mum.’ Then she held up three fingers, which she can only JUST do for some reason? 🙂 And she said…’Mummy. Just Three. YOOOOOU. …MEEEEEEE…AND JUNIOR.’
I smiled and nodded back at her through the mirror and said, ‘Just three.’ Gleefully of course. Yet quietly.
Then she beamed a smile at me still holding her fingers up, but this time her smile meant something. She smiled at me like everything was going to be okay. I smiled back at her, giggling and nodding….it said something tooo and my smile said It already was! 🙂 🙂
That’s my example 5. Forgiveness, family, love and understanding. Empowerment! Yeah dolls!
Happy Monday folks! xxx
I love you. xx