When life is on your side….

I feeling really good today! So many wonderful things are happening. I’m in a great mood and I think it’s because a lot of ‘do gooding’ is currently occurring in Wunna land. It’s crazy! But the actual ‘buzz’ that I’m getting from making people smile, doing something to help others, changing the world a wiggle at a time & giving back…is making me feel on top of the world. I’m feel like some kind of ultra gleeful, superhero of boujiness.

It’s great!

Right okay, so…work wise, I start filming the most amazing short film ‘Stained Canvas’ next week! I could not be more excited to bring ‘Lily’ the bohemian fashion designer to life & I can’t wait to work with Jayne Slater, who’s an award winning, young film maker!

I’ve also just watched and shared the new promo video for ‘Isolation The Series 2’ by Steve Leeds and I can’t wait to be a part of that! It’s such an innovative series.

I’m in a feature film that shoots November. It has dinosaurs in it. The Wunna babies are in the film also and well I cannot wait to work with Scott Jeffery and Jagged Edge Productions. They’re a great team. A strong team.

And finally, I’ve joined the cast of ‘Series of Light’ season 2 on Amazon Prime UK & US and we’re set to film by the end of the year. I can’t wait to sass about as DC Jackie Lambert. (The character name alone gets me going!! Thank you Gage Oxley & Jessica Redhead.)

So…you’ve got all that!

In the meantime, whilst I’ve been learning my lines…a lot of you will know that on Friday Nov 20th I’m gonna be giving up my bed and sleeping rough to raise funds and build awareness for the charity ‘End Youth Homelessness,’ (who provide support and accommodation for young homeless people between the ages of 16-25.

I only just started pushing it and promoting it not last night but the night before…because I’d been so busy. I had a target of £100 because for every £100 I make in funds, it provides a young homeless person with FOUR nights warm & safe accommodation this Christmas!!!

Thanks to YOU my just giving campaign began trending over night and in 2 days I’d not only hit my target fund goal, but doubled it.

I cannot thank you enough for your support. It means so much to me, honestly from the bottom of my heart. Plus, it’s kinda special to know that during these hard times people ARE still wanting to give and make things better for others.

I feel the love. I feel the support and I truly appreciate it. Words can’t describe how wonderful your help has made me feel. Like you, I’m human and have been through many hard times. I’ve always tried not to talk about them, simply because I’m a ‘take it on the glitzy chin’ kinda girl. My inner ‘Northern’ gives me that ‘tough as old boots’ vibe. Plus, I always wanted to whizz a more positive vibe out there.

Yet realistically, there’s nothing MORE positive than someone’s TRUTH and someone who can TELL THEIR STORY without shame, with the intention to inspire and with a non-alcoholic smile on their face. (I hate that I’m not or drinking right now. I want pina coladas….strong ones…. slide down an imaginary bar at me, so I can erotically sniff them.)

Anyway…lol

The money you’ve helped raise so far for my ‘Sleep Out’ campaign will now help provide TWO young homeless people with safe and warm accommodation this Christmas! (They’re off the dangerous streets and that settles my heart. It makes me smile!)

I’m over the moon. I’m actually looking forward to sleeping rough for the night. I’m gonna try and document it all, if I can. But let’s keep the excitement going and get as many children and young adults into a safe place for Christmas! I mean, there’s young single mums out there, on the streets…with their kids, trying to fend for themselves! They need help and we can help them. There’s should be no barriers….just that good old thing called love.

So please do please do find it in your heart to donate…Even just £1 makes a huge difference! I mean sending video messages and signed pics to everyone who donates. You can even win a virtual date!!! Donate at the link below:

https://justgiving.com/fundraising/sleepout2020-chrissiewunna

So, I had a bunch of ‘Zoom’ meetings today, one after the other…and I sent out quite a lot of emails and press releases out. Ruby had an audition and Junior ate baguettes on the street, whilst we were practicing ‘just sitting and being glared at’ and finding good homeless ‘sleepy’ spots on our after school walk.

But earlier this morning I found a REALLY amazing organisation @SCCCC (@Sheffield 4C) whilst I was on Twitter posting my ‘Fifty Shades’ video. Lol.

Anyway, they have a Penpal Scheme where people like you & I write letters or draw pictures etc…(The idea is that it’s ‘Happy Mail.)

You then send your letters/paintings to them and they have it delivered to various isolated old people within the community, who may not have ANY family or friends, simply to make them smile, feel appreciated, let them know that’s the thought of and well it helps combat loneliness.

How lovely!!!!

It made me immediately flash back to a time…years ago…when I worked in a coffee shop. A cheeky gentleman named ‘Albert’ used to always come in. He was loud, flirty and naughty.

He always use to crack the lost hilariously inappropriate jokes. One day he walked in…But he looked so sad. I asked him what the matter was…He simply looked at me and quietly said…

‘You don’t want to ever be 80. It’s the loneliest time.’

He then walked away…It just never left me. It’s one of my flash backs. I wonder why we hold onto some flash backs, but not others? Why does our brain choose certain moments? Or is it our soul that does the selecting?

Therefore with that’s being said ‘Wunna Land’ went into action. I was full, speed ahead and began hand washing, sanitising and then grabbing paper to write as many letters as I could.

The babies (Ruby & Junior) then joined in on the action and started drawing and painting their ‘happy mail,’ to send off.

So far we have 50 pieces of ‘Happy Mail’ to make anyone who is feeling lonely smile!

What a BUZZ!

It’s been such a delight to do them and take part in the Penpal scheme and well i think YOU should too because it feels so rewarding. It’s just so easy. It’s a great thing to do as a family and it takes nothing to just write one happy letter or paint one happy picture! It will make an old person smile and feel appreciated! That’s all you have to do!

Anyway, I’ve noticed that whilst a delightful amount of ‘do gooding’ and giving back to others is happening, a great deal of pretty wonderful things keep happening TO ME!?!

Now, I don’t know whether it’s because i feel good, or whether it’s because the karma thing is the real deal? But I’m kinda genuinely noticing that if you give out love, it really does come back to your threefold. (No joke.) I’m watching it happen to me, over and over again!

If I wasn’t so tired, I’d definitely be having an imaginary rum right now! Why am I so old?

All my love,

Chrissie x

Ps/ I’ll leave you with this. I mean, I filmed it so you might as well watch it. Lol (Infact, you’ve probably already seen it, it’s been chilling on my insta for a day..)

And just like that…

I’m laid on the ‘sunshine bed’ with my red kimono draped upon me, with golden, collagen, gel patches under my eyes. 🙂 I also have olive coloured joggers on underneath the kimono, JUST to make me feel like the world is a safer place. The under eye, gel patches are apparently ‘lavender’ infused. I’m not sure why I’ve tried to make my eyes all relaxed and sleepy, to THEN attempt to write a blog? I’ve stuck them on my forehead now.

But anyway, I was in ‘Zoom’ court this morning at 10am. I’m not gonna go into it because I’ve been tinkering through the rather un-glamorous court bushes for over a year now. However today I was rewarded with peace and good old justice. It all went well! I have utter happiness in my heart. I’m really grateful because I had a lot of support. I’m tremendously thankful to all those who helped and well I’m lucky enough to have had THE BEST barrister, the most phenomenal representation EVER, who was Lorena Veale at KBW Chambers. (If you ever need a barrister & you are Leeds-ish based, she IS your ‘go to.’

Anyway, as you may know, I was a little stressed last night. Not openly stressed, more internally concerned….which to me is almost worse. Lol. There were moments where I’d crouch on the floor, with my hands over my face and just sigh, whilst uttering the word ‘shit’ on a slow repeat, simply to ease out some air. Lol

I couldn’t sleep. I kept looking at phone and worrying as time ticked by. I didn’t want it to go intonations the early hours. I kept drinking my non alcoholic beer…for no reason, because it really didn’t help at all. It just gave me something to do, in the dark… to pass that ticking time.

Then just when i was feeling like utter shit and throwing pity party or two…my phone blinked and a DM had come through to my insta.

It was 11.20pm

Scott Jeffery: ‘Hey! 🙂 How far are you from this area?’

(Followed by a screenshot of a giant house, situated in a West Yorkshire village.)

And just like that I saved ‘The Gods.’

Five DMs later…I had joined the cast of a movie, so had Ruby & Junior, by November we’re filming and it even has DINOSAUR’s in it!!!!

I cannot wait it!!!!

Now, I’d been wanting to work with Scott for a while. I auditioned for a role in a feature that he was producing, a couple weeks ago…Since then I’d been watching everything that he, his colleagues, his actors and the companies he had been aligned without in absolute awe. I watched everything they were doing on their ‘socials’ and I was amazing. It was so creatively alive. It was positively astounding. I wanted in!

Last night, 5 DMs in after 11.20pm my dream came true and I cannot even tell you how’s it changed my mood around! I was SO happy, that my entire body filled up with a ‘joie de vivre,’ a rush that only a combination of happiness & excitement could ever conjour.

I felt amazing!!! I was literally jumping around my room, in my rescue kimono, IN the fucking dark, doing happy dances!

It reminded that my life was alright and that I had so much more to be excited about!! It reminded me to refrain from letting fear & negativity, be my focus. It’s shit. It’s not the right vibe.

Last night proved that within seconds and out of the blue, a single moment…a simple dm at 11.20pm…can absolutely CHANGE your vibe, your life or your future. This is no joke, it really can. It did!!! I lived it!

It was the most wonderful feeling. So wonderful that no words can describe how I felt, in that moment. It was such a high, after feeling that little low. That case of worry.

(You shouldn’t worry, it’s not good for you. It prevents good things from fluttering your way.)

This morning when I woke the kids up, it wasn’t dreary. I had envisioned it being dreary and filled with fake smiles, which they see through, instantly. Well…Ruby does. She may say nothing, but she’ll feel everything. (She’s so in tune with Wunna land. She’s…well…she’s the natural heir to the throne. Lol)

Anyway….this morning…

It wasn’t ‘don’t think about Mama & court today, just enjoy school.’

It was… ‘Babies, you’re gonna be in a movie. You get to travel away to set and there’s dinosaurs in it! 🙂 ‘

A sense of giddy, happiness swirled around Wunna land last night….just in the nick of time. It glided through our morning, as the sun rose.

It rebuilt a confidence in my soul, a confidence that I already had and at 11.02am, fresh out of my ‘Zoom’ court hearing, life went back to normal.

I’m one happy kitten…

Roll on tomorrow. 🙂

(Ryan experienced ‘Porn Monday’ today…so i’m sure he’s delighted also. Lol.)

There’s just so much…

Happy Sunday. I never know what I’m gonna write, until I write it. So here goes…

I’ve had a chilled week off. It’s a week I needed off because i’d been working so hard. I’d also been hustlin’ and the ones of you who do it, will know that although positive, it can be exhausting. You either get somewhere or nowhere at all! However, I don’t think hitting a few brick walls is bad for you. There’s also some kinda lesson learnt and it’s thise lessons that make you!

I have an important day tomorrow. It’s kind of a ‘big day.’ It was actually meant to be much bigger. Yet for me emotionally…it’s big enough. So over the weekend I’ve insisted on just being calm and having chilled out fun with my family. (Ruby, Junior & my Mama.) We’ve been out and about in my home town (Doncaster ) just shopping, lunching, Pumpkin Carving and just keeping things simple. It’s been absolutely wonderful. Just seeing how happy the babies were melted my heart! They’re my everything! I mean, I’m certainly sure wobbling around a market place, with two giant pumpkins in my arms, in leopard print, heels and a face mask…as the babies sang and skipped around next to me, was definitely a sight for the loony bin. But it was worth it! It made us all so happy! I’ve loved my weekend and without joy you have absolutely nothing!

I’d say it’s important to me to keep things simple. I hate it when people come in and complicate everything. Or when people place drama, problems or complications ABOVE ease, solutions and well…the art of simplicity. (I look for that in all areas of my life…work, family, general living and in men. I don’t like ‘drama’ men. They go against my natural grain.)

Anyway, this week has been a funny week?

I’m not good at having time off. I find it difficult. I’ve been uncomfortable spiritually and mentally. It stresses me out.

I’m also not great at feeling like I’m not succeeding. I put a lot of pressure on myself & I shouldn’t.

Time off…for some reason makes me feel like I’m not doing well enough or trying hard enough…which isn’t at all the case? I have great balance. Right now I seem to be doing everything right. I’m good. The kids couldn’t be happier. I’m mostly happy. Lol. The career’s alright. There’s nothing for me to be exceptionally worried about? Maybe my ‘tomorrow’ is concerning me internally.

Regardless & realistically there’s nothing to stress out about.

When you are stressed out about something I believe you should feel it, as in submerge yourself in it. Say it out loud, so you can hear it too. Then you’ll definitely feel like shit for a moment…but then you’ll ACCEPT it, understand it, comes to terms with it and it’s then when you’ll start to feel better & beable to baby step forward.

I don’t know why I sometimes stress out about things? I mean doesn’t stress grow from fear? I’m not really scared of too much?

But when’s it comes to life, I believe that you get what’s meant for you. You’re exactly where you’re meant to be. There’s a whole big picture for you & you’ll understand it as you go. The things that aren’t truly yours, will NEVER be yours…and no matter how hard you try. Yet sometimes, you hardly have to try at all and just because something was MEANT for you… it materialises into your actual reality and becomes a part of your story. Almost like magic!

I’ve experienced both. That’s how I know it’s true.

I’ve had a very colourful past, which has made me worry a lot about things, because I know how uneasy life can turn out. Lol.

Yet, at the same time it has also transformed me into the most relaxed and most confident human being alive. It’s odd that it’s done both? I feel invincible sometimes because I’m a survivor and there’s nothing I can’t handle because I’ve been through so so much. ( God! I wish you could just see into my head and watch my life flash back at you. Only THEN you’d understand.)

But there’s a humility to me, that’s grounding. I’ve always been a good person. I’m raised well. Even through the shit bits, I’ve always still been a good person at heart. However, I never thought that I’d actually grow WISER as I got older. But I have!!! Haha! I’m truly astonished!!! Fair enough it took me nearly 40 years…Yet, who’s counting, I’m getting there! That’s all that matters.

Today’s actually been great! I’m ready for tomorrow! Plus, I recieved exciting emails and messages, that got me juiced!

I start filming ‘Stained Canvas’ on the 27th and can’t wait! It’s again one of those great films. As soon as I read the script, I knew! It’s written & directed by Jayne Slater & her sense of creativity, style and film making is beautiful. I’m really honoured to be part of this story. (I was kinda worried because of a potential ‘Lockdown 2,’ which is shit for those in entertainment. Yet it seems that all is well and we can go ahead with the filming. I don’t have to get a job in ‘Cyber.’ 🙂 Lol. I’m excited!)

Then I scrolled down my emails & I saw it…The email of all emails! ‘Street light’ of ‘Series of Light’ is now at final draft & cast reads are happening this month! I’m absolutely delighted! It’s all incredibly exciting! I feel so lucky to have joined the cast for the second series! I’m a huge fan of the show and well…now… I’m in it! 🙂 Gage has really done a tremendous job! There’s just something about this….I can feel it!

I’m currently laid in bed, in the dark in my kimono, writing this on my phone, which is the only light on the room. Junior’s laid asleep next to me because he can never sleep alone. Tomorrow is a big day for him also. I feel for him. It’s awful. Soon it’ll all be over and we can all live happily with the stability and joy that we deserve.

I’m meant to be doing my Q&A on my insta story right now, but I don’t know if I want to yet? Lol. I love all my questions. There’s sometimes some really great ones. But then my DM’s fill up quickly…and it fills up with men, guys, strangers, who fancy a shot at the old ‘Glamour Puss.’

I can’t go through them because there’s too many. Yet I always find it so strange when guys slide straight in with a suggestion that I ‘excite’ them, that they feel all horny and I’ve made parts of their anatomy stand to attention.

That’s not the correct way to try and win my heart. I’m not stimulated like that. I’m sensual. I’m love sex. I’m in tune with my sexuality & when I’m in a relationship ‘the bedroom’ is a place I adore.

Yet if a guy thinks a DM slide with ‘I’m horny,’ is gonna make me fall at his knees because he thinks I’m hot…then he’s stupid & it’s the sheer stupidity of such, that will turn me off.

I also don’t like it when guys read this and then think they’re smart and throw in a ‘it’s your personality I love’ line… lol. Again, I’m not that stupid. I can see through people really fast. I can tell when they’re not being themselves. I can tell when they think I’m stupid. I’m so experienced at this that I could write 94 books on it, backwards…on a donkey. Lol

I’m a romantic. A hopeless one. I love, love. I love falling in love and being loved. I get the ‘sexy’ thing. I like it. I’m flattered. But if a guy really wanted to win my heart wouldn’t they do it properly…They’d be more balanced than just ‘dick.’ I like balance.

Plus, it’s hard 😉 right now because I have a crush. The Ryan crush. There’s nothing about Ryan that I don’t like & i’ve actually had quite a lot of time to get to know him…which never usually happens. Circumstance has actually forced us to get to know each other in this particular way. But I like it! It’s not bad. I wouldn’t get to know as well otherwise.

But he’s really genuine and kind. He’s funny. He’s also wise…and i like that. I love a dollop of wisdom.

This is why I shouldn’t have a week off because I start to think about things…

It’s 23.07 UK time. In the morning…I have court.

‘B’ is for Busy…

I haven’t written in ages. Has it been a month? I dunno? But life has been busy. Kinda like a whirl of hard work, excitement, achievement, entertainment, motherhood, life and…I guess, I’d say hope?

I work so hard TO BE busy! Then when I ‘get busy’ I panic until I’ve fully accomplished the task with flying colours and my heart in one happy piece. Over time i’ve become an expert at avoiding ‘distraction,’ however it may flounce into Wunna land. I’ve learnt everything the hard way, but right now, I’m ridiculously focused and I say it’s about bloody time at 39 years old! 😉

People grow at different times, on different levels and in different ways. But i’m in the game. I ‘is’ here and I ‘is’ alive.

They say if you’re well, happy & loved, then you have everything you could ever need in life.

Since the last time I spoke to you, I’ve self taped (auditioned) or Zoom auditioned probably twice a day? It’s been a really great time. Really busy!

I booked a feature film, ‘Charlotte,’ (there’s been quite a buzz about it online.) I filmed it a couple weeks ago in a cottage, in the most remote part of the North Yorkshire Dales. But oh my gosh, it was MORE than worth it. I’ll tell you all about it, as I go along, especially when it screens. Yet, to have worked with such outstanding talent, Georgia Conlan, Dean Kilbey (they lead the film) & Martin Hardwick (D.O.P) well, it was an absolute blessing! It’s such a dark, gripping tale, a psychological thriller and it will change your perspective on life. When this film releases, everyone is going to be astonished.

I looked back at some of the scenes in the cottage and it’s just ‘first class’ and I’m so grateful to be part of such a wonderful story. Every single person gave it their all. Everyone single person made everyone else on set feel of worth. I’ve actually ‘wrapped’ on it now, but they’re still filming… so as the days go on, i’ll tell you about some of my ‘behind the scenes’ moments on set. 🙂

I read today that over 2000 people had auditioned for roles in the film and 16 were ‘hand picked.’ I always forget how many actors audition for roles. I feel very lucky! It was an absolute honour to work with such a remarkable team.

What else as happened? The Wunna Babies, Ruby & Junior, they’ve both been auditioning like the clappers. They’re booking quite a lot and just the other day they worked their first music video, which they loved.

I’m really really proud of them right now and not because they’re working so hard. They’re only 9 & 7. But because no matter what they go through in life, the good and the bad, they always remain so grounded, so positive, they stay close to one another and appreciate everything. They’re so thoughtful.

Over the last few weeks I’ve worked so much, I can’t even begin to go over everything all at once. I’m grateful! But I need to tell you the stories as I tinker onward because everything’s just moving so fast! (I don’t even have time to watch my favourite Netflix shows, which is truly DEVASTATING!!! The good thing is that I also don’t have time to stress out. That’s always a bonus.)

I had a Zoom audition on Friday for a Channel 4 show. I think it went well? I don’t know? I hope so? I’d really like to be a part of it, so we’ll see whether it’s meant for me? I always think your stories already written and whatever so meant to happen will just flipping happen.

My ‘milkshake’ still seems to be bringing all the boys to my yard? I don’t know how? But I’m flattered. I’ll remember all this when I’m 80. Hopefully i’ll Be back to drinking lots by then, so I can’t have a laugh about it all. Oh and when I say ‘yard,’ I mean my ‘social media’ yard, as during times of ‘focus,’ I don’t let boys creep any way further past the cyber line. Lol. Well, unless it’s Ryan. He can pretty much do whatever he wants because he’s ace. I’m kinda in ‘awe’ of his aceness.

But anyway, I’m working really hard. I’m looking through ‘wardrobe’ for my next film ‘Stained Canvas,’ by Jayne Slater. I play bohemian fashion designer ‘Lily’ and I just cant wait! We hopefully start filming this month. I’ve done a couple virtual rehearsals and reads…so alls good! Just plonk me in my boho outfit and i’m good to go!

For the rest of the year…

I have a Netflix pilot and 2 features for now to work on. I did the ‘Casting Me Comp’ today for Do or Die Studios. I had a day off and i wanted to use it wisely!

I think I get my ‘Series of Light’ script soon! Being part of this series has got me good! I can’t even describe my levels of excitement and I’m playing ‘Detective Jackie Lambert.’ I LOVE IT!!! The first series is on Amazon Prime UK & US…So you must watch it! I think the book of unseen scripts is out also!

Basically, lots is going on….this was just a catch up blog. I always say I’m gonna write a blog every day from this point, don’t i? Then work flies on in…and I forget to prioritise this little diary of love…and I shouldn’t.

I keep ‘flash backing’ to about 15 years ago, when my LA neighbour ‘Cletus’ poured tea on our shared balcony and told me to hand write a daily diary…

I’ll tell you about it all tomorrow.

I love you lots!

Chrissie x