Teddies, Teeth & True life…

The ‘Tooth Fairy’ has visited. Two giant bears now reside in ‘Wunna land.’ I’ve just read an 88 page script. I’ve just this second received a revised script of another film. (‘Stained Canvas.’ A beautifully devastating story.) I’m learning my sides for an audition I have tomorrow and Ruby’s currently trying to have an argument with me over dough balls.

If I’m being honest, she’s not really argumentative or shouty. She argues with her eyes, silently like a ‘ninja.’ You know she’s unhappy because she has this ability to pout & glare directly at you, with a stone cold face of ‘watch your back.’ Haha.

I fortunately have the same face…Therefore it’s battle of ‘ninja glares.’

This is all because she preferred mango mochi and was presented with garlic dough balls. 🙂

Now she wants to cast spells…which is cool with me.

Junior’s in the bath, watching a movie on Netflix, happy as can be. Lost a tooth. Couldn’t be more delighted. Haha.

Its quite a hectic weekend, followed by a busy week of auditions and filming. So it’s a lucky week. The kids are also working and it makes me smile to see them so excited. Every moment is like a really ‘big moment’ to them and the freshness, the innocence of such, is something I adore! More adults should be that way. I’m excitable anyhow. Yet they make ME even more excited whenever I see them ‘glow’ or when they’re on set.

It’s cute. I love it.

I posted a teddy bear video today on my ‘socials’ because recently i’ve just been really focused on work and I’ve been studying characters…that I haven’t had time for it. I haven’t prioritised it. However, I realised that there’s an audience awaiting to be entertained. So before I arrived on set…I boshed out a Tiktok. 🙂

Literally 4 minutes after I posted it on my Insta, some idiot reported it. (Yawn.) So I appealed my case…and ‘boom’ within minutes it was restored for all viewers to enjoy.

Nice try! 😉

Life is good…away from the ‘crazies.’ I’m keeping myself to myself and doing what I love. I’m also what I want, which delights me. Lol. I’m kinda wallowing in my ‘happy place.’

There’s not really too much to say other than that. I’m just focussed on work. I’m happy and I’m lucky that opportunity is a knocking.

(A lot of actors are dmming me personally with questions. You’ve all pretty much asked the same thing…and my answer would be…you need the right agent to get you through the right doors…otherwise you’ll never get seen. Once you’re in the door…you HAVE to be ready, otherwise you’ll blow ya shot, completely.)

I’ve been chatting to lots of creatives over the last month & I had a look at some of Rene Turrek’s works. He’s an artist. I love art! Most of you will know that. So it was great to chat and see inside his mind. Peek into his world. You should check him on insta. What he does is so cool!

I adore peeking inside the private minds of other creatives. It’s so beautiful.

Oh, and everyone is still asking me about my love life, but there’s nothing to report? It’s far less juicy. I’m still extremely picky. I’m almost more cautious than anything. 🙂 Yet these days, I’m no longer foolish.

Thank the good LORD! Haha.

On the next blog…because I’m a tiddly bit busy with work, I’m going to be gathering in your questions and answering them right here on the blog!

So SEND ME YOUR QUESTIONS!

I hope you’re having a beautiful weekend!

All my love,

Chrissie x

Ps/ I keep dreaming of the number ‘5.’ (Then it turns into ‘15.’)

Life…

I’ve filmed all day & it’s almost felt like a euphoric bliss. I don’t know what’s happening to me right now? It’s almost like a glorious gather of lucky stars have hovered above me and are shining..no…beaming some kinda magical light upon my world.

I feel really close to ‘Dreams Come True.’ I shouldn’t say that, because simply living life, with my babies everyday IS a dream come true. It really is.

Yet, I’m feeling really lucky and somewhat powerful right now. That power is self love and a confidence that at 39… is irrepressible. I’m pretty happy,

But i think I’m just in mild shock because as things are steadily changing (again,) yet certainly for the better, this time…It’s almost overwhelming. I can’t believe it? But why can’t I? I’ve worked so incredibly hard to get here & baby step up…It’s taken focus, sacrifice, years…Why can’t I believe it?

If I was going to tell you something about me, i’d tell you that in my life so many incredibly terrible things have happened to me. You’d be shocked. Anything that you could think of has or nearly has occurred…to the point where that fear, ain or panic was felt, conquered and overcome with love. I don’t know how I managed it? But I did.

I was never alone. I have the most wonderful family. I’m really lucky.

I’ve always lived by the fact that good things happen to good people. All you need is love. That’s always what I had!!

The bad things made me feel human. The conquering of them made me feel like a Queen.

However, at the same time….the most AMAZING things have happened to me in my life. The most believabley, joyous moments of happiness, luck and dreams come true!! I would never have believed it as a little girl. I envisioned it everyday. But I dunno? I well no…as a little Burmese girl, from Doncaster, I believed it would happen.

As I got older there were times or moments where I gave in. But I found my track…and with a smile I galloped onward with my heart in the right place.

Right now, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m most together I’ve ever felt. Ruby and Junior feel on top of the world. Work is brimming with excitement. (I’ve ‘booked’ so much this last week, only to ‘book’ two more films this week? It’s crazy! It’s incredible. I’m so so grateful. I just can’t believe it!)

My love life….It’s exactly the same as always.

I don’t really pay much attention to it anymore, because it doesn’t seem to make my priority list? I don’t feel lonely. I don’t feel unloved or lost.

I feel happy. I feel full!

I don’t know whether it’s because I don’t let people in or whether I’m too picky or if they’re just not the right person?

Obviously on my ‘socials’ I have quite an eager male following and I love it. I’m very flattered. I like that they’re there. It feels good to wake up every morning and read through their comments.

Sure I’ve been in dodgy situations before. I’ve had real life stalkers who accidentally become infactuated. It was really bad. It was almost like they had travelled to a dark place in their mind and they’d become addicted. I wasn’t a person to them anymore. I was a drug, a prize, a trophy, a project. They saw me as lots of things…but not a person.

And I’m not talking ‘ooh, let’s look at a few pics and stalk her on insta.’ I’m talking real like following me through my day, posting crazy notes through my letterbox. Once I got off a train, and removed my faux fur coat, on the platform. I tucked it under my arm and my phone ‘pinged.’

It was a text that read,

‘Yeah…it is kinda warm today, isn’t it.’

I didn’t know the number. I didn’t know who it was… I didn’t know how they got my number?

For ages, I had to be kept safe.

But that was a long time ago.

Now things are different. Things are glorious. They’re lovely. I feel strong. I’m well balanced. I get it. I get life. I understand myself, what I stand for. I’m really comfortable in my own skin. Almost too comfortable these days. Lol.

Life is good. I’m filming. The rest of the year is exciting. I’m ready to turn 40 in December. The babies are happy and working.

I have luck and life on my side, right now. I feel really focused. I’ve really knuckled down when it comes to work and filled Wunna land with absolute love. Ruby, Junior and I are beaming!

I have a very serious situation happening in October. The kids and I are ready for it! I will have a lot to say afterward. However just not now. So ‘be learnt a lot of things from this particular situation. Hundreds of things.

However, what i’ll tell you is that some people because of the experiences that have occurred in their own life choose to dance in the darkness. Others choose to dance in the light.

I’m not on this Earth to dwell in anger or self pity. I’m not that person. I’m filled with love and I’m here to inspire, create and make people feel, love and smile.

That’s my superpower. That’s my strength.

Today has been great and right now life feels just so wonderful!

Tuesday storms, but super good vibes!!!

It’s 6.48am. I’m laid in bed. My rooms all gloomy. Somewhat dark? It’s raining outside. It’s misty. It’s grey. The droplets on my windows are rushing down endlessly. The sky is undisturbed, almost like a smokey, off white canvas…awaiting some kind of story.

I think there’s a storm coming…The rain’s getting heavier, the patters are getting stronger.

Just before my eyes opened today I dreamt of numbers. This happens to me all the time. I’m quite a spiritual person, so I always Google their meanings if their prominent in my dream.

I dreamt of the number ‘5,’ the number ‘1’ and then they were positioned as ‘15.’ It’s all good. It feels great. Their meanings bring absolutely joy and almost relief to my heart. Lol

I’m going through a lot right now and for the first time in years I can tell you that it’s 92% positive!!!

Thank fuck for that! Haha!

There have been times when I’ve just hit *pause* and pondered at a loss, not knowing where I was going, what I was doing…or what on Earth was happening?. 🙂 These days, well right now, things are really different. It technically shouldn’t be because we’ve all been through a crazy 2020 ‘lockdown?’ But in this present moment, I’ve got my shit together. Life is good! I almost can’t believe it.

I’m really lucky to have so many people in my life showing me such love & support. You need it. If you don’t have it, don’t worry, be your own fire!

So yeah, it’s miserable outside. The storm’s about to make sure of that, but this morning, regardless…I woke up EXCITED! My soul’s filled with joy, I’m happy and I can’t wait to start my day…

This is the month in my life where everything changed for the better. It’s been nuts. But I’m so grateful. It’s made everything I’ve ever felt, worked for or experienced worth it.

It’s the month that changed my life and it’s felt so good that almost anything negative has weirdly just been dissolved away by happiness. But the real kind that calmly glows deep down in your soul. It’s internally beams, as opposed to the sudden rush or flicker of excitement. (Which is still great, yet not stable, lasting or strong.)

Yesterday was great. Early in the day the kids and I had life to conquer. However, we did it and instead of them feeling burdened with unnecessary stress, I asked them what they wanted to do to feel good?

Ruby: ‘I just want to be with you. Shall we just head somewhere and get lunch. I kinda want to buy a colouring book?’

(I always tell you how creative she is. But i’ll literally walk into her room and she’ll be colouring, or waiting for a freshly painted canvases to dry, whilst she’s moulding something out of putty, reading poetry and designing outfits for dolls. Lol. She loves the simply creative pleasures in life. Yet at the same time she adores ‘boujiness.’ A life of luxury. That 5 * quality. So she’s either really simple or really expensive, yet nothing in between ever. Haha. She had the soul of a gypsy, but the ambition of a Queen.)

Junior: ‘I want to go into Leeds and eat somewhere nice.’

(Junior’s our joy. We couldn’t know a more thoughtful human being. He’s certainly ‘babied’ and gets everything he wants based on cuteness. Haha. Yet he’s so grounded and caring. He thinks about everything logically. Yet he’s fair and kind. He’s really emotional and someone who’ll silently cry when he’s happy, or heartbroken. At home he’s a ‘showman.’ Fun! Alive! He’s ambitious and inspires to be in charge of things. Away from prying eyes, he’s LOVES to sing, dance and act. He loves it…and probably more than Ruby. No one would ever think that!)

Anyway! Sorry! We ended up at Blue Sakura, Leeds…and we loved it! It’s all you can eat Japanese food & sushi (you order off an iPad, and it’s brought to you, so you don’t have to get up and do anything, which I like…a lot.) We’ve been before, but every time the kids go, they love it.

So today I’ve got an audition, but for something more fun, than serious, so I’m excited!

I was meant to shoot pics today, but it’s chucking it down? I’ll still try though. The lighting is however shocking.

Then I’m gonna try and Tiktok. I’ve had to neglect it for a couple weeks simply because I’ve been busy working and there’s just hasn’t been time for it. So I’m giving it time today and showing you all some Tiktok love!

Once I hit ‘publish’ I’ve done my blog…so that’s off the ‘to do’ list and I kinda want some neon sliders and a T-shirt with a roaring lions head on it? Where can I get them?

Yesterday I was chatting to Rob, (my agent) and it’s crazy because there’s some really exciting projects that are now opening up to me as opportunities …and I don’t know how I’ve managed to get so far, in what feels like such a short time? I’m still in shock, but delighted and just going with it. I’m so grateful!!

Obviously due to last week, we now have a whole bunch of scheduling to organise, because everything that I’ve auditioned for and ‘booked’ I want to fit in & do. Plus, the scripts that have l been sent through or offered…Well the stories that I love, I certainly want to be a part of. I’m still auditioning, so more work keeps being added AND now the babies are working. Plus, I think he still has a dazzle of negotiating & pitching to tango with…and well I can ever say ‘no’ to the things that make me happy!

He went through this years ‘goals’ with me yesterday and smiled. I was so excited!

Mum: ‘This is it Chrissie. You’re on your way now..’

(She smiled. I like it when my mum smiles.)

That guy that shouted at me at The Botanist messaged me AGAIN to wish me well. I didn’t reply. I ghosted it. I don’t mind people messaging at all. Yet, he just hasn’t made a very good impression at all.

Good friend J: ‘You don’t need to reply to anything. He has closure. You said everything you needed to say that evening…very clearly. There’s nothing more to say. It’s a technique he’s using to try and find an opening.’

‘I’m not even thinking about it. I’m so busy right now and it just feels so negative. I cba. I don’t even know him? This is my life. Haha.’

Oh fuck!

I forgot to tell you! I created an Amazon wish list the other day. Not one where you force people to purchase. Haha. That’s why I haven’t posted it anywhere. . I mean I can buy my own bunny slippers….just 😉

But I cannot even tell you how therapeutic it began to feel, whenever I hit the ‘add to wish list,’ button. You should try it? At first I didn’t care. Not at all. I’m not aroused by ‘ stuff’ …..at first…Haha. 😉 By item 5, it was almost so satisfying in a peaceful, greedy way? I couldn’t stop? I loved it!

I have the most RANDOM list. It has all sorts on there, like pink netbooks, a Hugh Hefner dressing down, Bunny slippers, retro T-shirt’s, corsets…poetry day books.

Ruby: ‘Why are you adding a Roman godde cosplay outfit? Haha?’

‘I don’t know? I just really want it! :)’

‘Can I add something?’

‘No. It’s my wish list. Not yours.’

‘Haha…I love you Mama.’

Anyway, I hope you have an absolutely beautiful day!

All my love,

Chrissie x

Giggles, Work, Charity Shops & Apologies…

What an absolutely delightful week! Fair enough, we’re on Monday now, so new excitement is due to begin. However, last week (and I’m not one to dwell on the past, because I believe it’s unhealthy for a forward moving soul,) was AMAZING!

Okay, so…I had a giant audition week, last week. I felt really focused, really happy, truly inspired & well I decided to work really hard (which I actually find pretty easy.)

I was booked on 7 auditions (which is a jolly good amount, after thumb twiddling through the ‘lockdown.’ People who aren’t actors reckon you just kinda read a bunch of words off a page. But that’s not the case at all. It’s a lot of work. A whole lot of emotion. Yet a whole lot of joy! Plus, when there’s 7 different scripts, 7 different characters and 7 different ‘feels,’ it can certainly be a challenge to tinker with!

I ended up ‘booking’ 4 of them!!! What!?! As if!! I’m over the moon. I’m still waiting to hear on one. One that I really want. But they’re all films…because I guess that’s my niche now? It’s actually funny how your niche finds you. I always thought it was the other way around?

Anyway…I’m bubbling over with that kitten ‘joie du vivre.’ (I still always get so excited! I’m like a little girl, trying to embrace a 39 year olds, manner, busy and stance.)

But that’s some cracking results!!!! Haha.

I’m happy. My agents happy. The kids are happy! My mums happy! We’re all happy! It’s almost like a surge of good luck, that has been splodged in joy has overcome us!

Obviously I’ve worked with quite a few people of recent, so away from auditioning I actually had ‘meetings,’ where i thankfully (lol) don’t have to read…and on top of the 4 bookings…I was politely offered 2 feature films. (I be obviously accepted both.)

Eh? It’s just magically nuts! I can’t believe it! How has this happened?

It takes me back to years ago when I was pounding the Hollywood pavement with my headshot in hand and my resume stapled to the back of it. I loved those years. The innocence. The cringeworthy pain of moments. The glint in my eye. The time before lessons were learnt!

I actually still have the same enthusiasm. However, since then life happened. A whole bunch of shit & bad choices happened for years…However luckily that ‘shit’ 100% made me a better actor! 🙂 Both because I wanted to do better for myself and because you can’t cheat life experience…it comes through in your work.

Anyway…alongside all that…The babies, Ruby (she’s currently asleep with Minnie Mouse ears on her head) & Junior, both signed to a tv & film agent, got their little selves on ‘Spotlight,’ did 2 Self Tape auditions immediately after…Booked 1….and are waiting to hear on another that they only did yesterday.

As if!?!

But anyway…enough of the work jargon! On Friday after the wonderous hard work week , around 3pm I got a bad news text. The funny thing is that I was so filled with audition adrenaline, that it ‘hit’ me different. I was kinda too happy, (an emotion that makes us much stronger as humans) to be AT ALL bothered to absorb it.

I acknowledged it. I felt it. But then it bounced off me, after around 15 mins. I figure that’s the way to deal with personal bad news because I felt more positive than I ever had.

It was almost like I had too much ‘good’ going on, for the negative blops to be remotely relevant. That took some learning. Yet everything’s going to be okay! Roll on Oct 20th…(This is a really important date for me.)

What else?

I had a couple days off to chill, so my ‘socials’ were lacking. It didn’t bother me. Life with the babies was far grander, yet I respect my online audience (I hate it when people don’t because it’s the new way of the world,) so during moments of peace, after being out and about, lunching, shopping and loving every minute with my two little bumpkins, I eased into more comfy entire, hit record, danced for 15 seconds and posted on my Tiktok & Insta.

Weirdly my most comfy attire is when I just have bra and knickers on, or nothing but a kimono, joggers and a bikini top…just a bikini. That’s kinda how I chill at home always. So it’s so strange to me when people question my chosen attire for any of my social videos…because if anything I’ve put MORE clothes ON to shoot the dang video!?! Lol

Like yesterday I ran Ruby’s ‘intagalic’ bath in that red lingerie, one piece that I did my Brandy video to. In Wunna land…that is perfectly normal. No-one would even flinch. However I’m noticing that it’s not normal in other households maybe? Haha

I received a random Twitter DM from ‘Dbear.’ It just read ‘Hey you. X’

I didn’t really say much but ’Hope ya well.’ He’s a good guy, yet his world is filled with… I guess…problems. He’ll always be a great friend. I hope he finds his happy place.

Then that dude who was rude to me whilst I was at The Botanist…sent me 2 dms and 3 videos…again trying to apologise.

But I just remember that moment as clear as day. I remember everything he said. The way he reacted and tried to manipulate the situation to his benefit. His insecurity called me a ‘temptress.’ He called me aggressive when I stood up for myself. He tried to play the victim. But good when you’re a grown up. He was an emotional mess. I don’t like people like that.

I mean there was even a point where (hahaha) he had watched a show that I was on. A reality show… Blah. Blah. Blah. Anyway…I was given a scripted line to deliver, that wasn’t true to my actual reality. But it’s a show…I’m actor. So I did my job & delivered the line.

He didn’t know that line was scripted, so had no relevance to my actual real life…But he tried to use it, during our disagreement, in order to manipulate me. In that moment, it was the fact tgar he underestimated my intelligence that pissed me off. Like I’d fall for that?

Don’t because silly!

I ignored all dms, all videos…’Sorry’ doesn’t cut it. People can say ‘Sorry’ until their blue in the face. Realistically it’s just a word.

I’m actually by nature a soft person. So I’m quite laid back. Therefore IF you’ve pissed me off, (and I’m never Pissed off) you have properly done well at offending me.

Cheers!

Luckily straight after his DM’s a Wunna fan voluntarily sent naked pictures of themself to me, whilst holding my picture in their hands… Haha. I must have the most astonishing inbox. Anyway it shone light and giggles on a rather miserable situation. It was like a happy, high kicking ‘can can’ of a finale!

I have the best fans! I love you all. Genuinely! You all make me laugh, be it merry or moderately disturbing! Lol

Then I missed ‘Ry.’ He’s in OKC. (Which is Oklahoma City, Incase your shit at abrievations I’ve moi.) At least Ryan’s sane. He’s almost like a distant breath of fresh air. Imagine still managing to be a breath of fresh air even when ya miles away.

Anyway…

This week, i made a lot of new creative connections this week! It’s been brilliant to cross paths with so many talented people within the industry! I’ve chatted away and loved it! Be they directors, writer, artists….It’s just been phenomenal! I hope to work with them all in the future! It’s such a satisfying buzz! I love that they share the same passions! It’s a dream.

Oh my gosh! Then I came across ‘Charity Shop Sue!’

Tim Chesney (The Director) had posted something lovely about ‘Series of Light.’ I’ve joined the cast for Series 2, so it popped up on my ‘socials.’

This was at around 6.45am yesterday morning. I’m laid in bed in my pants and lilac kimono, with a smart water and 3 boxed Marks & Sparks macaroons on my bed side table.

Then oh my god, all of a sudden, after various finger pokes and scrolls, I find myself watching ‘Charity Shop Sue’ for the first time. (I know, I’m late to this.)

Holy fuck! I watched the whole damn thing. The whole of Series 1, yesterday morning at 7.27am in bed, in my kimono, as the Yorkshire sunshine shine through my window and I was laughing so hard, I was crying!

I haven’t laughed like that’s in ages. I’m obsessed. I’m hooked. I’m delighted. But I’ve watched it all now! Haha.

I mean, that has got to be one of the FUNNIEST shows that my soul has ever absorbed online!

It’s done so well! It’s produced, shot & delivered so perfectly. The talent and the cast are out of this world! The acting was outstanding…and what I could tell from watching the show was the sincere amount of love everyone involved had for it and each other. It shines through. You can feel it.

So obviously being me I had to tell everyone how much I adored it. I posted it everywhere! I followed the cast! I chatted to Director Tim. (We actually had a great chat because once I love something I always feel that I have to congratulate the creators! Lol. I can’t help it.)

He was so sweet, so genuine & well he said that I made his weekend, which always makes me beam! It was like my words meant so much to him!

I sent ‘Charity Shop Sue’ (I mean what a talent…I mean at this point of ‘fan girling’ I want ‘Sue’ to give me a ‘Tuke’ makeover.) I added all the cast I could find & sent them some Twitter love! (Love you Sheree!)

It just made my Sunday complete. I was filled with utter joy & it’s the smallest moments, that lead to other tiny moments, that create a result…that can simply fill your entire world with absolute happiness!

Celebrating life…

Morning everyone. It’s 7.09am, Yorkshire, England. The sun is beaming through my window. I don’t have curtains, so it’s bright! There’s a 0% Heineken bottle on my bedside, that I didn’t bother to drink last night..and Junior’s fast asleep, next to me..in a Bugs Bunny eye mask. One that has gel pads in, to stop his eyes from getting puffy. It has bunny ears sticking out of the top of it. 🙂

( I live for Junior’s quirkiness. He’s the cutest little human alive. We get on so so well & he’s just the light of our little lives. When it comes to Ruby, I breathe for her creativity, that she exudes in a somewhat regal, Queen like demeanour…Yet it’s mixed with a bump of down to earth, dirty, barefooted rawness. She’s just like me.)

I’m still laid in bed, but I’ve been up a good hour, just scrolling through my Insta & twitter feed. I stalked appropriate profiles (like ya do…We all have our ‘go to’s.) Then I read that Michelle Obama said something beautiful, about disgusting Harvey Weinstein back in 2013 & it’s now being used against her…(In 2013 she wouldn’t have known he was a massive rapist.) I also then read all the controversy about the new Netflix film ‘Cuties’ (which I need to watch, before I comment on.) How a story is told is so important & there’s so many people who haven’t watched it, who are saying a lot about it? I don’t know how? However, I do get both sides of the argument.

I also saw that a guy named ‘Silly Sam’ on my Twitter sent me £25 to treat myself to coffee & cake, to thank me for making him smile with my posts. He sent it to my PayPal email address and I don’t know why, but the thoughtfulness behind it, just made me smile? The simplest things. I thought it was really cute and it was actually delivered with such beautiful grace.

So thank you, Sir! I appreciate the love!

I have a chilled day today because i’ve smashed out all my auditions. Hopefully I’ll hear some good results shortly and if I’m being honest, I just kinda want to enjoy life, enjoy my day…after working really hard over the last couple weeks.

As I posted yesterday on my insta story…Life is so incredibly short and I never want anyone to forget that or take it for granted. We may not get another birthday, another day and as far as I’m concerned we need to celebrate every single moment we have and without creating those little boundaries of insecurity, that we have.

It’s so important to life & love and ONLY DO the things that fill your soul with light. The things that make you happy. Truly happy.

I try to make and create as many memories as I can because they are literally ALL i’ll be left with. I’m grateful for the good times…and I know everyone always says the bad times make you stronger (and they do,) but god they feel like absolute shit, when you’re living them, so I hate them. Haha.

My greatest feeling in the world is love. When you get that rush of absolute happiness. A physical reaction based upon an internal glow.

My worst feeling in the world is heartbreak. I struggle very much when I feel it. I guard myself from feeling it now because it effects everything! I mean ‘safety first.’

I’ll always walk with my head held high and with a giant smile on my face pubically…But behind closed doors… if I’m sad, i’ll just sit at home and cry for days…and I mean proper ‘snot running down my arm’ crying. Haha.

Ruby: ‘You’re cute when you cry because you look like a pig.’

I don’t know what’s gonna happen today. It’s now 7.52am. (That dude that shouted at me over the table at The Botanist has just insta dmmed me saying that he misses saying ‘hi’ to me? I’ve just ignored it. I cba.)

Have the most wonderful day.

I just wanna get mine started!

I love you so much,

Chrissie x

Try a little tenderness…

Long time, no speaky! But most of you have been checking in through my ‘socials’ anyhow. So in a way, I kinda feel like I’ve kept you in the loop. 🙂

Obviously a lot as happened… We (Ruby, Junior, my mum & I ) had 3 days of deep rooted stress. But once the mist lifted and we could see, hear and feel more clearly, a ‘magic’ happened and our world, that we call ‘Wunna land’ filled with pure love, happiness & delight.

I always say ‘someone’s watching over us.’ There are times when I believe it. Times when I don’t. But without the faith that everything’s gonna be okay..You have nothing at all. 🙂

Right so! Since the last time I blogged, I booked a film.. ‘You, Me & Kandi.’ I played ‘Zoe,’ who’s the female lead & I had to travel away for a short time, to film it. It was absolutely wonderful and just the best time, with the best team. Some of us (Nicci & Jon) lived together and God, I made some absolute friends for life! I’ll never forget our evenings…But i’ll tell you more about it when the films ready to premier. I always talk about the films I’m in, far too early on this blog. I mean the promo needs to start, when it’s ready for people to watch!

I’ve had tons of meetings and auditions. Three today alone! So things are hotting up now. I’m working hard! Things have got back to normal. I’ve got my eye on the prize. I’m going for it and as of right now…it’s kinda working out.

My agent Rob (who’s fyi amazing) swung by Leeds, from London a couple days ago to chat negotiations and career. We chilled at ‘Browns’ over drinks and discussed. It was the best hour of discussions ever…because we’re both so honest & well we got shit done! I feel really lucky. He pushes really hard! We both do! It feels like it’s gonna work…

As I was walking through Leeds city centre to ‘Browns’ from Trinity…a homeless guy stopped me…

‘I’m so sorry. I know I’m bothering you but I need £8 to get into the hostel..I’ve got 38p…

‘Shit! I’ve got no change! I’ve only got my card!!! Wait….’

I started rummaging through my leopard print bag. I found 10p. Ffs! Haha. Then in a little pocket I found £2.50.

‘Ooooh! Lucky you. Here ya go!’

‘Oh my god! Thank you SO much…That’s the most anyone has managed to…’

‘It’s fine. I’ve go to go to a meeting at Browns. Sorry it’s not much…I hope you..,What’s ya name?’

‘Gavin. Honestly, thank you…What’s yours?

‘Chrissie.’

He looked me right in the eye like he wanted to hug me…But then he stopped and said,

‘Hey…i’ll give you a fist pump, because of all this corona…’

He pushed his fist forward, it was covered in bruises, muck and scars. His history all over this one fist.

I ‘pumped.’ Then I smiled and as I walked onward to my meeting…People we’re rushing behind me…and all I could here in the distance was an absolutely delighted Gavin shouting…

‘I LOVE YOU CHRISSIE! THANK YOU!!!’

I looked back and waved. It made my eyes smile as I turned back around and strutted through the shiny, glass doors of ‘Browns’ where Rob was already sat, waiting…He saw me walk in, smiled and beckoned me over.

That evening turned a moderate day, into a great day. The buzz that I felt from work. The buzz that ‘Gavin’ gave me lasted forever. It still makes me smile.

It made me so happy, whilst I was sat at the station another homeless man walked up to me JUST after a young guy had finished talking a ‘First Dates’ selfie with me.

‘I just wondered if you could buy me a coke from the shop? Not a sugar free one though. A regular one.’

He was so specific, that I knew that he either craved it or needed it!

So there I was…in my grey faux fur and yellow heels, walking him through the Sainsbury’s at Leeds train station…

‘Is that all you want? I mean..honestly, we’re here now, so you might as well get what you want…’

All he had grabbed was a thin can on full sugar coke and a big dairy milk chocolate bar.

He paused.

‘Is it okay if I get another can of coke? I’m just addicted to it…’

And just like that, at check out…the cashier( who’s the ace American lady who always smiles at me) served us. She had literally JUST served me 10 minutes before. She said nothing. But her eyes smiled as she saw the two of us! She looked at me like a proud mama. I beamed and walked off.

Before we even left the store…The homeless guy had already cracked over one of his cokes and was guzzling it like he needed all the sugar in the world.

I’ve done Leeds quite a lot recently. More meetings and quiet ‘socials’ than anything. But I’ve checked into ‘Ginos’ twice. Once with the kids. I’ve done Blue Sakura & The Botanist.

I actually got shouted at over an outdoor terrace, dinner table at The Botanist, by a guy who out of nowhere decided to simply become overwhelmed with insecurity.

I shouted back.

Then I left. I hate that.

I do know the person…and they did try to apologise. But I just don’t suffer fools that well anymore at 39. He sent me a video that just looked staged, with eyes of zero, valid emotion…almost like it had been….well it felt fake.

I never responded. I’m fine with losing friends that aren’t really …well decent enough to me.

God! This blog is long…and so much more has happened? I need to skim!

Right, so I announced that I had a crush and everyone went mental. I had every video reported. An inbox filled with haters. It was nuts. Then all went back to normal.

I’m still crushing on that human. However I don’t think he’s crushing on me back. Haha. (As the story goes…) I mean he likes me…But that’s about it, I reckon… 🙂 I don’t know? But he did say he was on ‘Cloud 9.’ Maybe I’m just insecure or maybe I’m right? Who knows how the take will play out. Luckily we’re both busy humans. It takes the stress off things.

But I’ve definitely decided I’m rubbish at all this crush malarkey. I mean sure I am. I always have a one track mind. So nothing’s ever a ‘numbers game’ to me. I love really hard, once I fall, or decide to go for something. I’m passionate. So I usually just wait it out and concentrate on work, in hope that Mr.Right finds me.

I’m not gonna lie…as you get older…you kinda worry that you may never find that true, true love. That man that just wants to adore you forever. Yet whilst life is so great work wise…it seems that I’m okay? I feel okay. The kids are okay. Life is good. I feel like a great catch right now! Haha.

What else?

Ruby and Junior signed to their first BIG agent. Weirdly… just as they did, another agent offered to sign them also. But they were already done and dusted. They’re actually over the moon! WE made the right choice. Junior can’t believe his little eyes. Ruby expected it. (Haha.) They did their first film audition via their new agent today! I’m so proud! They’re so cute…and they’re both so incredibly creative. I love them so madly. I can’t believe how hard they dream, work and believe for being 9 & 7.

I start filming again shortly. I have a busy audition week. It I’m prepping for work tooo. So it’s all crazy right now. However, I’m really lucky and feel like the most blessed kitten in all the land! I used to have everything crossed, yet now I just work as hard as I can!

As a family we film a commercial shortly. It had to get postponed…and I finally did my everything crossed ‘big break’ audition…which I hope I get. If I do, I do. If I don’t…i’ll still keep going but just work harder!

I start burlesque training shortly…for a little ‘something-something’ and I simply cannot wait! My posts on my insta are getting sexier and sexier as I prepare and get used to the simple, yet beautiful art of the ‘tease.’ (Thank you for all the love im receiving…I’m really grateful because it’s not just about me getting into a bikini and plonking about for ‘likes.’ I’m not like that. I’m way more complex and filled with absolute purpose and soul. Everything I perform means something to me. It’s inspired by my real life, daily experiences. Whether it be a feature film, or a 15 second Tiktok…to me…it’s still a performance and something that’s special because I’m doing what I love…for you.)

I’ve godda go…I’m typing this topless on my iPhone with my thumb and it’s winding me up! Plus ‘Rocco’ the cat is humping everything in sight and it’s awkward.

Things are looking up work wise. The children are the happiest they’ve ever been. The cats horny…I’m doing alright!

I love you all so much. Sorry, it’s a bit of a ramble!

Thank you for all your kind words and thank you for following my life!

My heart,

Chrissie x

ENJOY!