Am I single?

Am I single? YES…and I’m happy. That doesn’t mean I’m not open to finding love. I’d love to bump into Mr.Right or ignite new chemistry with new friends, who might wish to explore…a ‘little more.’

All it means is that I don’t feel like there’s an empty void in my life. Ever. I’m a single mum. I’m home with Ruby & Junior. I’m working my dream job…and the Wunna land bubble just seems to be filled TO THE BRIM with SO MUCH love, so much excitement…that I never ever feel alone or without it?

In my mind…this is a good thing because people kinda strut into relationships or hookups, or hook ups that they thought were relationships…before they feel ‘full.’ (I’ve done that so many times over & over in my life.) What I’ve learnt is that the ‘fullness’ is essential and something that you have to feel and BE BEFORE you start tinkering into some kind of ‘forever’ match.

The reason being because you’ll zap up all the other persons energy. You’ll use up their flame because you weren’t FULLY lit. You’ll breathe in ALL of their air, to the point where you’ll end up feeling lost and they’ll feel utterly suffocated. All because you weren’t full, so you weren’t ready. You still had those little pieces missing and either didn’t acknowledge that wee bit of ‘empty’ or you didn’t wait…until the time was right! (I’ve been a sucker for not waiting!) But you really shouldn’t ever hope that your new potential partner is there to fix all your problems. That isn’t love. It’s a whole different thing! The bear to that dance is off.

But yeah, because I feel so full and feel so happy, it’s great because I’m not looking to steal someone’s air, or have someone steal mine, i’m looking to and for (and a great friend once told me this..) a ‘life enhancer.’ I wanna share strength not dwell in weakness.

Meaning, I’d want to enhance and give to my future partners life in some way, instead of take…and vice versa.

That way everyone is happy. There’s utter balance. The quality of love is real and magical…and it’s brilliant.

I’m not meaning to sound ‘preachy.’ I’m a spiritual ‘wish upon stars’ kinda girl, so I’m not sure why I’ve delivered it so sensibly?

I’ve just been in so many previous relationships, marriages…all sorts…with guys from all different walks of life…all over the world. I’ve experienced a lot. I’ve had wonderful times. Shit times. I’ve been good. I’ve been bad. I’ve been hurt. I’ve been happy.

But most of all…I’ve LEARNT…and those experiences are all ONLY worthwhile NOW because of the learning process. So I’m cool with it.

I’m excited to see what the future holds! I’m a hopeless romantic. I want a real connection. A full one. One where’s you don’t make the best out of a bad bargain or sell yourself short.

The fairytale…

I’m not gonna lie…I kinda receive a delightful ‘jolly’ of offers, probably every minute of the day, due to social media…and I’m so incredibly grateful and flattered for all your love. It makes me smile and I’m an old bird now, so it keeps me confident! I need to be smiling. I’m too old to be slobbing around. So yes, I love you all for it and I’m thankful every single day!

So, as o began…yes…I’m single. I’m happy. I’m full! I’m on the look out for Mr.Right. I dont spread myself thinly. I won’t commit to anything that doesn’t make me happy. I believe in true love. I do think that there is one person out there’s for everyone.

But I’m not worried because he’ll just find me, won’t he!

Life is great. The babies are wonderful. Work is all back on track and I’m loving being back on set!

There’s something in the air….whatever will be, will be!

Chrissie x

Easing out of lockdown…

Definitely woke up with Junior’s foot in my face. Fortunately, it’s the cutest little foot in all the land. So, I counted myself luckily. 😉 Junior doesn’t like to sleep alone. He doesn’t like to BE alone in general. So he always ends up in ‘Mama’s bed,’ just to feel safe & secure and I love it because they’ll come a time when he doesn’t want me anywhere NEAR his bedroom, I’m sure. Haha.

Therefore, right now, I don’t take these moments for granted. Plus mums are MEANT to help their babies feel safe and more comfortable. (He turned 7 on June 1st & had the best lockdown birthday 🎂 party.)

Then at 1am, in trots a half asleep Ruby, with her sassy, curly top knot. She wears it to one side, but only when she’s in her pink Ted Baker nighty?

‘I can’t sleep. Can you make me dough balls?’

‘I’m asleep. No. Stop. Haha.’

‘Well, can I have crackers and that left over caviar, you got from Tesco?’

‘It’s 1am….are you actually really hungry?’

‘No. Not at all. Haha.

She giggled and then got into my bed tooo!

So last night no-one in Wunna land wanted to sleep alone. Or should I say, we all wanted to be together.

Things are feeling great at home. Lockdown eases up a little tomorrow and I guess I’m just gonna go with the natural flow of it all? Is it safe? Is it not? I don’t know? But i’ll plonk on my mask & stick to the guidelines.

There are a lot of changes happening in Wunna land. That’s quite normal though. They’re quite personal changes and well very big changes. However, ALL the changes (thank The Gods) are GOOD changes. We made a few decisions as a family and well I feel like I’ve had to live my life with my fingers crossed over the passed year. Although it’s quite frankly a good method when there’s Morning much else you can do because it’s hopeful. It’s not how Ruby, Junior and I wish to necessarily tango.

Changes are being made. Positive ones.

Anyway, on Friday I finally got to ‘self tape’ again & it felt so satisfying. I can’t even tell you. It felt THAT good. I auditioned for a new series, it was a ‘pilot,’ and I hope I get it. The idea behind the story & script is amazing. It’s such a fresh, innovative way to look at a very popular industry & tell a story. It’s films in Manchester and you know I love all things Northern.

I still have the film ‘Heads First’ to be shot in Manchester in September & I recently booked the second series of ‘The Series of Light’ with Oxygen films. I look forward to it all! I love being part of films & stories that need to Beverly made because they’ll make a difference.

Yesterday, on my insta, I also posted a lot about ‘Leave in Lurch.’ I cameo in it. Ruby stars in it and very I just can’t wait to see it! They’ll be another blog coming up on that, when it’s ready! But working ‘Green Run Production’ was amazing. They were first class!

I’m excited for it all. I got to chat to ‘Clint’ last night about work. Great actor. We played ‘Paula’ and ‘Vince’ in the film ‘Perfect,’ earlier in the year. Y’know, Clint and I are really similar people and we both want to do well. So that chat alone made me feel that ambitious energy again. The ‘juice’ as I like to call it. It reminded me that there’s a whole lot of 2020 left. It’s certainly NOT cancelled.

If I’m being honest…I feel like I’ve gad a GREAT year this year. My lockdown was fabulous! 🙂 I enjoyed my time!

What else?

I’m still alcohol free! At the end of this month it will have been 3 whole months!!! It’s actually quite easy now. I weirdly don’t miss drinking, but only because I lost weight, I felt better…all sorts.

Plus, I started getting all these really cringy flashbacks. Y’know the awful, embarrassing ones you get. Ones that you try to shake out your head, so you don’t cry of shame. Haha. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some GREAT times!!!!! But those horrid, little tinkers. Those horrific, smudges of memory, that keep strutting back in…are awful.

The great thing is that they power me forward. (That wine needs to get put down. Haha.) I’ve also actually learnt how & why I used to use alcohol in my life. It’s been so eye opening and certainly uplifting. Plus, Big Brother Rex said he’d take me out to celebrate, when lockdown is lifted. AS he celebrates his own sobriety also!

In fact I think he’s on TV tonight? Isn’t it ‘Big Brothers Best Episodes?’

Anyway! Good friend! Please watch it!

Last but not least…TIKTOK. I’ve turned i to a massive Tiktok fan! I can’t remember if I blogged it? I certainly told EVERYONE…But I hit my first MILLION views last week and it weirdly felt so good…like such an achievement?

Maybe because I set a goal and hit it? Maybe because I genuinely LOVE performing and making the videos? Maybe because I can’t believe that so many people watched them and engaged?

I don’t know?

But I love it. I feel great!!! Dancing about, certainly makes me happy! It’s a great way to de-stress and a wonderful way to perform& connect with people, while sets are closed.

So I thank you ALL for watching, commenting, liking and sending me encouragement! Haha. I’m so grateful for it!

I’m getting all your emails also, for signed pictures. I’m gonna try and get through them next week. There’s over 2000…so slowly but surely i’ll get there.

Tiktok: @chrissiewunna1

Thank you so much for everything! You make the kids and I smile everyday! We appreciate it!

All my love,

CHRISSIE x

Listen. Learn. Love

I just haven’t known what to write? So much kinda happened at once, didn’t it? I know how I felt. It went in waves. There were moments where I felt passionate, I felt angry, I felt positive…I felt all sorts. Flashbacks came flooding back. They still do. Then I blinked and found myself living through the largest civil rights movement in history…I couldn’t believe it. I was so shocked & so incredibly moved. Yet so PROUD because voices were being heard, actions were being taken…and all in the name of LOVE & EQUALITY for black lives.

It personally means SO much. ‘Black Lives Matter’ isn’t just a ‘hashtag’ to me. It’s all the memories I have. The experiences i’ve both witnessed & encountered. All the times I’ve personally been racially abused or SEEN others being racially abused. All the times I’ve heard and watched people ‘just get on with it’ because ‘that’s life.’ It’s my daughter. It’s my son. It’s my friends. My family. It’s everything and every single INJUSTICE every human has received in the this world, to date…for NO TRUE REASON other than the colour of their skin, their sexual preferences, their gender…their everything.

I’ll admit, it’s felt overwhelming. I’m quite an emotional person. People often don’t think that I’m so ‘in touch’ with my emotions, because I don’t always put them on ‘show.’ Sometimes I say nothing. Sometimes I dance around them. Sometimes I ‘humour’ away, as a mask or to make YOU feel more comfy.

Yet, i’m an actor and emotions are our fuel. I feel, gather & deliver them…when I need to…when it matters.

‘D Bear’ once taught me that a wise man only speaks, when they have something important to say and it needs to be heard.

At 39, I certainly think before I speak. There’s a new found ‘grace’ to my manner and I love how it radiates. The younger version of myself, would ‘spout out’ recklessly, with thoughts, passion and without punctuation. However that doesn’t mean that I’m someone who’ll let others be disrespectful, hurtful or thoughtless…when it comes to myself, my loved ones, or others!

I’ve been trolled quite a lot on Twitter for supporting ‘black lives matter,’ standing up for civil rights and putting uneducated racists, in their place…who have been quite open about their hatred.

I was trolled because they wanted attention. How shamefully stupid of them to think that they’ll just be as racist as possible, during the civil rights movement…because it’ll maybe bring them a bit of ‘look at me.’

I managed to hush all the trolls …with sharp, direct home truths. They didn’t like it. But they were quiet then. So it’s important that you stick up for yourself and civil rights without fear. Trolls & bullies are weak. I can even feel how weak they are, when I’m reading their racist tweets.

Be strong.

However, I HAVE learnt a lesson from an amazing guy on Twitter called ‘Phil.’ 🙂 He’s ALSO fighting for civil rights. He does it without such love. Well, he taught me to ‘pick my battles’ because I was obviously being used for ‘attention’ and let’s face it, I’m a feisty one. ( My levels of confidence seem to SHOOT through the roof when I’m passionate about something!)

But, saying that, if you SEE, HEAR or READ something disgustingly inappropriate. Please do say! Video it. Screenshot it. We only know what happened to George Floyd because someone FILMED it.

Tell people how wrong they are! Tell them how’s hurtful, racist and deluded they’re being. It’s not okay and now IS a good time to stand up & put an end to it. Don’t ignore it because every time you do, you join them by being part of the problem. You hit ‘snooze’ on something that matters. You no longer make a difference. You’re being silent when people are asking for help and they’re asking for help because their haters are LOUD!!!!

You don’t have to be loud. You just have to do the right thing.

And you don’t need an audience of a zillion people on insta. It’s starts at home…with family and friends.

Don’t be terrified of trolls, if you’re being trolled. They’re gonna be nasty back. That’s what they do. It’s wrong, but you can handle it because you’re your fighting for what’s right! I mean what they’re fighting for is INEQUALITY and that’s a joke in itself. I mean one guy didn’t even KNOW why he hated people of colour so much when I asked him. He said he ‘just does.’

I know a lot of you reading this follow my ‘socials’ anyway, so you’ll know that I’ve been quite vocal. You’ll know how i feel & that I fully stand by the peaceful protesting.

I’ll fight for equality, encourage unity & hope for peace. I have children growing up in this world. I’m someone who believes that it takes a ‘noise’ powered by love and decency, sometimes a ‘fire’ to FINALLY be heard & to make people listen after CENTURIES of pain and being mistreated.

It’s amazing to see everyone coming together. It’s been so moving and so incredibly beautiful, hasn’t it? It’s also been so positive and an honour to be living through this time. I literally bow my head to all those who have stood by the black community, as one race…the HUMAN race.

If anything (and it’s been an insane year) the tragedies of 2020 have weirdly united the world as one. Like I said before, if we actually get through 2020 in one piece, we’ve done okay. Haha.

Plus, in a strange way, it’s been big good to see that the ‘narrow minded’ racists have outed THEMSELVES, because that alone will affect and already HAS affected their future…as they stand & footprint themselves in the poorest light.

Changes WILL be made this time. They’re ALREADY being made! We’re living through the largest civil rights movement in history. Don’t forget that.

The power that we have has human beings, standing up for black lives, inclusion, unity, equality & anyone that’s put in a ‘box’ and treated unfairly for no reason…will always outweigh the ‘shouty’ haters.

This time their ‘shouts’ will no longer be heard. This time we’ll WIN and they know it. They can feel it. It scares them.

BE the difference. Even the SMALLEST difference. Educate, love, support, learn and stand up for what you believe is right.

We got this…

All my love,

Chrissie x