Cubby The Creepy Bear

‘Well obviously it’s just gonna draw too much attention Ruby. Just leave it at HOME!!’

‘I’m not leaving him at home Mum! I saved up for WEEKS for Cubby!!!’

As you many of you may have guessed? Right now, I’m all about trying to be low key, in my imaginary, ‘out of drama,’ Wunna Bubble. I’m staying in my safety zone.

This is temporary, hopefully permanently and simply because we’re all missing Junior. He only has 3 more sleeps, left of his 8 in a row.

Junior: ‘Do you think I can do it Mama?’

(Then he burst into tears…and said he only wanted to do one sleep.)

Ruby hugged him…and it pulled the littlest Wunna through.

Obviously, seeing your baby upset is always heart breaking to any Mama, isn’t it? Especially when we’re all so close. It’s a difficult time…I’m emotional, but I’m keeping safe, positive & happy. I’m doing the vegan thing aren’t I! Lol.

That’s how I’m dealing with it.

(I’ve done dealing with it SO well that even PETA UK have offered to send me a gift. I’m nailing being Vegan and loving being Vegan.)

DBear: ‘You seem so quiet and busy?’

Me: ‘I’ve just got a lot on my mind.’

(Then I saw a pic of ‘TBone’ modelling Moena Moxham scarves in New Zealand…He actually did a really great job.)

Anyway…

Ruby…obviously doesn’t enjoy feeling like an ‘only child’ for a bit. It’s definitely not her favourite. They’re SO close that she just feels a little lost. So yeah, this last stint…even though I keep telling her it’s the LAST BIG stint, has pretty much broken her wee little heart….to pieces.

Me: ‘Aww. Ru! Stop pulling faces…’

Kenny: ‘I don’t blame her…’

So! Ruby’s saved up £80 of her pocket money and splashed it ALL on a Fur-Real Bear. Ruby is the worst person in the world at saving. She’s a spender because obviously money grows on trees.

*Rolls Eyes*

During the brief absence of her little brother, it’s gotten WORSE to the point where she’s bought an interactive, robotic Fur-Real Bear, for the bargain price of £80, in hope that it would replace Junior. Y’know. Fill a void. Haha! (Oh Goodness!)

So instead of being all calm, cool and incognito, I’ve had to WALK around VERY public places, with a GIANT £80 Bear, that every child we passed seemed to want, as it’s wiggling, shouting, playing ‘Peekaboo’ with strangers and singing ‘Happy Birthday’ at the top of its voice…like it’s on ‘speaker.’

This is my life. This is so typical.

EVERYBODY today stopped us, watched up, chatted to us, I did selfies, waved at strangers….even what I call ‘The Crazies’ (those who are nuts,) came out to play ‘Hey Wunna.’

It was like I had just walked around a shopping centre, in only my pants whilst walking a TOY bear today. It was nuts. (I like the Prosecco stop off at The Mallard. Ruby had a rare steak. But other than that…It was kinda knackering? Lol)

Ruby loved it at first. (She loves ‘Cubby The Bear.’) It went everywhere with us. She made me go to 5 different shops to find bandana bibs for him, We bought the bear actual BABY Clothes from ‘H & M’ for the Goddamn Bear!!! Haha.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B1yOQ3nnIu-/?igshid=z4bs0zizvcu9

I felt so sorry for her broken heart. That I just wanted her to feel happy. Y’know, special. Take her mind if all the drama.

THEN everywhere she went…stopped her and said…. ‘Where’s ya Brother?’

And I just watched her little face drop and try and muscle through with good old fake smiles.

Ruby: ‘I’m just really tired now Mum. I want to go to Ego. Away from here. In a quiet corner.’

Long story short. We eventually get to Ego. I only wanted a quiet drink, whilst I posted some of the kids pics and videos to insta etc… They’re so good to us at Ego. It’s certainly what I label, a ‘safe place.’ Lol.

‘Leave the bear in the car!!!’

‘No. I love Cubby!!’

We get into Ego. Immediately ‘Cubby the Bear’ is a thing. But just a normal funny tale kinda thing. We know all the staff there. It’s great!

Anyway, I’m telling her to choose a drink. She’s trying to figure out what the ‘Soup of the Day’ is…. and then just like that, a man comes by our lil’ table….and begins what I call ‘The Stranger Show.’

‘The Stranger Show’ is when a stranger, who is ACTUALLY strange, saunters up, doesn’t leave and starts being either accidentally or deliberately (lol)….out of our comfort zone (and I’m quite a comfy person) STRANGE.

That flipping BEAR!!!

He’s chatting and laughing. He’s odd. He’s asking Ruby if he can play with the bear and cuddling it, kissing or, pretending to drop it and all sorts.

I’m sizing the whole situation up. As Ruby has now stood up next to him because he has her £80 Bear in his hands…and he’s one pretending to drop it and being creepy with it.

The staff at Ego have already got this. Bartender Ben is watching from behind. Dan’s by the glasses, weighing up the situation (lol) and trying to read out our faces. There’s other staff members casually about.

I’m okay-ish. I wish Ruby would’ve SAT DOWN!!

Later: ‘Why we’re you stood up next to creepy man, who was being creepy to you! Walk away and sit down next to me!’

Ruby: ‘He had my bear!!’

Me: ‘You gave it him. God! You say NO to me every second of every day, but you can say no out of politeness to a creepy man??’

‘I did walk away. I went to the bar to chat to Dan and Ben for a bit..’

Anyway, he was harmless. Just overly excited. But it got a little too much when he had his arm around Ruby, hugging her and well his face was too close to her at one point. Haha.

Then he pulled up a chair to sit with us and before I even got to THINK about the awkwardness of the situation..Dan was there in a flash and said..

‘Are you eating? I’ll show you to a table!’

He saved us!

I wasn’t eating. I went with it.

This is what I adore about the Ego staff. They’re just always there, always helpful in sticky situations and way ahead of it all.

I appreciate them SO much. I mean even that time when Mel accidentally took my purse, phone and handbag with her in a taxi, they offered to drive me to her to get it.

It’s the little things like that that Clint, isn’t it!!!

As we’re walking to our table with Dan, I’m like…

‘Ruby!!! See! You bring the creepy bear and it invites creepy people!!! It’s happened ALL day!!’

Dan: ‘You just attractive drama.’

Me: ‘It’s literally all the time. Our life! I don’t know what it is?’

Anyway, ‘totes emosh’ Ruby ate get carrot and parsnip soup, had a little cry and then asked to film ‘Cubby The bear’ at lunch with us.

She even asked Dan if they had a highchair, for her bear!!!!

Of course….they did!

Anyway. I couldn’t fault their service today. They’re more like friends than restaurant staff really. They’ve watched the kids grow up.

I’m super Thankful! What a day! I’m glad to be home. (I’m meant to be headed to Leeds now…But I just can’t. I just feel too emotional to be out and about tonight.)

So much is going on…

However, all stumbles aside…. Please do watch ‘Cubby The Fur-Real Bear’ do lunch with us at Ego, Ackworth. Haha.

Dan: ‘I’m not waving bye to a creepy Bear Ruby! I won’t do it!’

He refused to let us drag him into Wunna Land drama and I don’t blame him. Haha.

Enjoy!

Brothers, Happiness & Without Your Drama.

I definitely woke up with baby marshmallows being sprinkled upon me. Pink & white. My favourite and tasty. I took it as a sign of wonderful things to come.

Ruby: ‘I broke the no food on the bed rule.’

Me : ‘You’re alright. It’s marshmallows. You’re forgiven. Lol. If it was curry, I’m not sure it’d be my favourite wake up. Haha.’

Of course we’ve been having a wee bit of a stressful time in the delicious lands that we call ‘Wunna.’ Yet the thing that we’re all great at, on these glittery lands, is love, hard work and doing well.

All bad energy was taken ‘no notice’ of and as I looked around I noticed how much support we actually had! Our world is filled with good times and great people…For that alone, Ruby, Junior & I are grateful.

I guess if you’re not one for ‘good times’ or a human with a soul print of ‘good people,’ you’re either uninvited to the party or the party makes you feel uncomfortable.

Mum: ‘Concentrate on the things that are making you happy. You’re doing so great. Stay focused. Oh & trail blaze your career now. Go for it. You’ve got this. You’re really lucky. I love you. Show us what ya made of. Haha.’

Me: ‘Don’t worry. All’s good. I’m fine. I’ve actually never felt more confident.’

Mum: ‘What’s Junior asked for when he gets back?’

Me: ‘I know, the poor thing. He says it’s like he’s in prison. But he’s resilient. I have faith in life. He’s asked for a Santa’s box, that racing car thing, his favourite meal and Alvin & The Chipmunks on tv and to have some fun! Lol.’

(Junior’s cute. As soon as he gallops through the door, he hugs everyone uncontrollably and then dashes upstairs, as fast as his little half Asian legs can take him, switches on his CD player, turns it on full blast and sings every single Christmas song, on the CD, whilst dancing like he’s the freest bird in Wunna Land.)

Anyway, I then ran into Lynne. I’ve known Lynne for a while. I used to work with her…and she’s one of the most beautiful souls, you could ever be lucky enough to know. She’s nurturing.

It was kinda as though in that moment, life wanted to give me a *wink* of reassurance.

Lynne’s in her 60’s and there she was filled with life, love and this pure excitement, all tanned, all blond, a smile from ear to ear and her arms wide open for a cuddle.

Lynne: ‘Oh my GOSH!!! It’s so great to see you. You look great! I’ve been following your blog!!!’

‘You look beautiful! Retirements treating you well! Haha.’

She turns to Ruby,

‘I read you have a pet tortoise now!!!’

Ruby BEAMED. She loves a gush of love!

Ruby: ‘He’s called Boris!!! Junior’s wanted one for so long & Mummy surprised him!’

Bumping into Lynne made my day. She has this contagious loveliness. It sponges off on you when you get a cuddle. 🙂 I love it!!!

(Hope you’re reading this! Feel free to bump into me ANY time!!)

Then just like that. Moment to moment. One by one. I bumped.

I spent my whole entire day just bumping into people (good friends, acquaintances, strangers) everyone. Each one of them seemed so happy to see me. Each one of them showed me nothing but love.

I felt really lucky because how someone feels, how you make someone feel should I say, is a good projection of how you are or are being as a human. Innit. 😉

I always say it, but honestly the smallest things that everyone seems to do for us to make the family & I smile are so greatly appreciated.

Ruby’s obviously always heartbroken when Junior her lil’ partner in mischief isn’t by her side…

Security: ‘Don’t let an actual grown up, who should know better affect how you feel. He’s a broken grown up. You and your mother are the most beautiful women I know.’

Anyway, the smallest things like Kenny at The Mallard, having her name written on her dessert in chocolate fudge sauce, made her day.

Also ‘DBear’ asking her how she was doing, made her beam. Looking through her Instagram and laughing at the videos that her brother had filmed with her…

‘….HAHAH!!!!! Ju Ju ALWAYS does that FROGGY face MUM! He’s SO funny!!! We’ve done so much together!!!’

All of it made her soul fill with glee.

Top that with Mummy magic and a good old spoiling from Grandma…and her world was much better.

Ruby: ‘I love it. I just feel bad for my brother because he’s forcing him to…and I’m not even allowed to…’

Me: ‘….four sleeps. Your brother, like you, is the one of the strongest kids alive. Focus on the positive…Don’t get sucked into someone else’s drama. They’ve deliberately caused it to shake others up.’

Ruby: ‘It IS my drama!! You taught me to protect him…’

Me: ‘You’re 8. Enjoy being 8. Haha. I got you both. It’s nearly back to school time. Enjoy the last bits of holiday, you have left.’

She smiled. She smiled like she trusted me with all her heart.

Later that day..,,

I celebrated with cocktails, good friends, whilst being one step wiser, a juicy squeeze happier and filled to the brim with good times and laughter.

‘You’ve done well to not go nuts!’

‘Why are people douches?’

‘I saw that video you were in. It was amazing.’

‘How’s things going with…?’

‘You’re such a Queen now Wunna. Haha.’

‘Keep ya cool.’

‘What did Whatsit say to Junior??’

‘Is that a Pina Colada?’

‘I’m craving a Bloody Mary.’

‘He’s so twisted!!!’

Then I walked Boris our new tortoise. Life isn’t life until Boris is picked up from his Merry enclosure and taken on a long garden walk around Wunna Land. (Haha. I’ve loved every minute of typing that paragraph.)

Now everyone would reckon that walking a tortoise would probably not be the speediest way to spend a late afternoon.

Boris is literally the FASTEST running tortoise alive!!! One minute he’s chilling by your kitten heel & the next he’s darted off in a *FLASH*

‘RUBY!!! Chase him!! I don’t want him to get lost in a bush!!!’

I’ve never had to be more fit! It was rougher in my legs and reflexes than Pilates was!!! I swear I ran after him and placed him back at what we began calling ‘the starting line’ almost 947 times!!!!!!

There I was screaming and laughing, whilst chasing a tortoise, in a kimono, with my giant hair in, barefooted….as people were mowing the lawn!!!

This was also whilst writing a ‘this is my story’ piece…for a company, who well wanted to know ‘my story.’ Lol.

Like I said, the beginning of this year has been a test for me. One of those starts that make you ‘check yourself.’

I learnt about trust, love, friendship, family, trust, happiness, myself, TRUST and what I’m actually made of.

The rest of the year is MINE.

All bits bumped over. All the rough snags have been smoothed. I’m confident. I’m smiling. I have the best team, family and friends around me. I’m focused. I’m the best version of me so far….

Roll on September.

Here’s a little family treat for you from Wunna Land… They both wanted to have a go at FILMING THEMSELVES. Haha. So cute. We love making memories.

We love The Botanist

It’s the most amazing time. I guess, when it rains it pours, but when it’s sunny, there is simply nothing that a cocktail and decent company cannot cure, right?

It’s a sunny day! It’s a bank holiday weekend and everything is glamourously delicious!

I’m exactly where I’m meant to be and right now, that place feels comfy. (Not too comfy…But comfy.)

I guess, I’m happy. But I’m also excited. That combination alone is certainly one that I reckon I should celebrate!! (Any excuse!)

But life is REALLY so short and LIVING in the moment is REALLY all that matters! The babies & I have done SO much this Summer. We’ve lived it to the very last beat. It’s still going & we’re still loving it. YET we’ve learnt not to take any moment or each other for granted this Summer.

We have made some awesome memories!!! We have an exciting rest of the year!

Anyway we all headed into Leeds a couple days ago. As I said, my kids love the city centre vibe. It’s filled with adventure! We shopped, laughed…did our do, without a care in the world!

Junior: ‘I even just LOVE walking about here with you. Everything feels so happy!

(Awwww. My baby boy. )

We love to lunch! The babies and I ADORE picking a bouji, new or exciting place to eat…Or even just a place of comfort…Leeds is a great place to lunch, simply because the city is alive, diverse and well there’s a pleasure for everyone.

We’ve lunched almost every day this Summer… and well Ruby’s venue of choice initially was Ginos. (We tinker there a lot. They treat us so well. I’m a Black Card member. The food is divine.)

However, upon our walk up, as we were passing Trinity, Ruby looked to her right, (Junior was sucking up Boba Balls.)

Ruby: ‘What’s that place Mum?’

She literally just stopped in her tracks…almost like she was mesmerised by the excitement that their giant garden gates had to offer.

Now, I love The Botanist. I’ve only ever drank there, but I’ve drank there A LOT. (Haha.) In fact, I even once went on a date there, ages ago. The service is always impeccable and it’s just a relaxing place to be. It feels really private, yet friendly. There’s a warmth to it.

I didn’t even know if they did a children’s menu? But I looked at her, smiled and said…

‘It’s the Botanist….A magical place, that’s disguised as an enchanted garden, where you eat, drink and have fun. It’s a secret though….Only a few people can see it tucked away…Like…’

At this point they were hooked and had both ran up to the gates, screaming with glee, on excitement overload, that they were going to lunch in a magical, enchanted garden! (Haha. What? I’m good like that! 😉 )

Then I ‘buzz killed’ it a bit because I wouldn’t let Junior go in with his Bubblelogy. So we had to wait outside for what felt like 102 years, as he slurped them up in sloooow motion…one at a merry time…as Ruby RUSHED him, whilst in my giant faux fur, crawling on the floor outside, and as they bickered! 🙂

We eventually peeked and sneaked in.

‘Straight downstairs babies, to the restaurant.’

They were filled with excitement. In fact I was filled with excitement. There’s just something about that place isn’t there? There’s a magical comfort, that takes you away, like your lost in woodlands, yet there’s wine hidden in the depths of it! (Haha.)

Immediately we were greeted by the loveliest guy. Didn’t catch his name? But he was lovely. He had the biggest smile and looked at the kids like an adventure was about to begin..

‘Hi! Do you have a kids menu? I’ve only drank here. Haha. I wasn’t sure?’

‘Yes. Of course. Follow me…’

(He smiled.)

He produced two little cardboard suitcases, filled with goodies for Ruby and Junior and showed us to our table, which was private and lovely. I liked it. It was away from the ‘bustle’ as it was busy. Yet still wonderful, because we could still see and hear the bustle. D’ya know what I mean?

It’s great how they can make such a busy place FEEL so private, exclusive, yet exciting! I was utterly impressed.

As the kids walked through the restaurant, passing business men on laid back lunches, dates, and girl gin gatherings, all I could see were their faces of delighted shock and wonder.

(That gets me juiced doesn’t it. I LOVE seeing them like that! I love creating those moments!!!)

Perfect table. Amazing service. Ruby and Junior sat down, opened up their suitcases, and filled with crayons, activity pieces, and their menus, which were on small ‘novelty’ pieces of card.

They were so excited. They knew exactly what they wanted. They always order themselves. They know how to ask for anything they need, or wish for.

But out of all the places they had been to…and do know, they have experienced A GREAT DEAL of lunch outings…on every level of fun, comfort or luxury. This so far has been one of they’re favourites.

When the waitress came over to the table, she had a large-ish key around her neck. It looked rustic. Kinda like the garden gates.

Junior: ‘What’s that key??’

Waitress: ‘It’s a magic key!’

Me: ‘She has to go get your food from the enchanted garden remember!!’

He was so delighted he might have gone boz eyed a little. He does that!

Both Babies ordered the Hanging Chicken & Red Pepper Kebab, with peas and chips. Then banana splits for dessert, with apple and summer berry juice. Junior actually also wanted the ‘Jelly and Sandcastle’ Ice- cream…

Junior: ‘Is it made of sand though?’

Me: ‘No baby. Haha. You’ll have to try that next time!’

Ruby’s a really complex girl. Yet Junior’s simpleness…literally delivers the most hilarious moments into Wunna Land. Ruby, my mum & I crack up over his ‘Junior-isms.’ He says the funniest things without realising.

Ruby: ‘This is THE BEST place I’ve ever eaten! The food is so good! The peas are SO good!!’

The food really healthy there, so it’s a winner for me. It certainly made being Vegan difficult, because I swear I needed that chargrilled chicken in my life!!! However, of course, it’s The Botanist. It caters to the veggies & vegans. It was absolutely delightful!

The food was so good that the babies demanded that I filmed them eat for a vlog, so everyone could see how great it was! Haha. They actually wanted to show off, I reckon. They wanted to film a ‘pea eating’ vlog…So Being Mama…their wish was granted!

Of course!

Y’know, Junior doesn’t even eat ANY veg without manipulation, bribery or force. The grilled red peppers scared his system, but even HE couldn’t get enough of the peas! Haha.

Lunches to us are always about spending family time together. As the tradition goes, ‘breaking bread’ with each other is a thing. It’s a ‘TING.’ We may do it with a little glamour. We might be a little ‘extra’ at times. I might have a 2 for 1 cocktail in my hand. But we love it because it brings us together.

We couldn’t have thanked The Botanist enough that day, for helping us make Wunna Land memories.

I remember when the waiter arrived with their food the babies just looked at him with delight and uttered ‘shock’ noises!!

Waiter: ‘Wow! I didn’t expect that reaction!’

They’re just so excited by the smallest things (even though they experience the biggest things) and i love that about than. I taught that across well. 😉

We spend the rest of the time laughing and deserting. . I ordered more wine. Then whilst Ruby and Junior were playing , a girl who was on a date, yet her date had gone to the loo, stopped and said…

‘They’re so beautiful. They’re so close. They’ve made ME want to have babies.’

Junior: ‘You’re so pretty.’

Ruby: ‘Thank you so much. Is he your Prince?’

And just like that our entire day had been made.

What beautiful memories were made…

We’re having THE BEST Summer! It’s been different this year. It’s been one of those Summers that changed our lives.

Dear Diary….

Y’know, despite the ‘ups, downs & sticky life roundabouts,’ the time that Ruby, Junior and I have spent together this Summer has been wonderful. The time that we’ve shared has been beautiful. It’s been so good, it’s ‘juicy.’ Almost ‘freshly squeezed,’ like it’s been rolled in excitement and sprinkled with true love.

I always say it….but I feel really lucky!

The babies are beaming and even though the Summer Holidays are wrapping up & coming to an end, i’ll always remember the Summer of 2019.

We’ve shopped, we’ve lunched, we’ve played, we have a new pet (there’s a whole blog on ‘Boris’ shortly) and we’ve even actually worked. (They’re loving doing their Youtube videos. Hopefully some of you or YOUR little ones, have watched a couple.) As little bits of money is a trickling in, (I have an YT app, where they can watch their progress, & they can’t even believe it. They get so giddy. It’s cute.)

Ruby: ‘How can people make money just for having fun? It’s sooo good! I can’t believe it?’

Me: ‘That’s the whole point Ru. You’re meant to do something that you love. That way it never feels like work & ALWAYS feels like fun. It makes you happy!’

I guess, I should teach them that ‘work is work’ & ‘play is play,’ but I’m not going to. I always want them to choose their HAPPIEST option because to me you should always be doing BOTH and both should certainly come ‘hand in hand.’

Every time I’ve separated the two, my soul’s felt grey, still and like I’m in the wrong place, in the only time I have left on this Earth ball. It’s always been a stressful feeling. That’s not something that I want to teach on. I don’t want them to ever sacrifice their happiness. Anything in life that they feel they can’t handle, I’m here to step in, love, guide and support.

The wonderful thing about their videos is that because they’re only 8 & 6, they’re never ever thinking about money making & ONLY thinking about having ‘doing fun’ and living…I’ll capture their moments & lots of times without them even realising. I’m loving making memories…

Oh! Hang on…Someones calling me…

[An hour later…]

Sorry. I got distracted. I’ve been worried about Junior and all the drama that he’s going through. Something’s not right? It’s almost as if he’s trying to tell me something, but can’t? Everything seemed fine & just like that his peace, trust and confidence seems shattered, within a moment, at times?

I don’t know what’s going on?

I actually knew something like this would maybe happen. It was something i’d been cautious about.

I never let on, to Junior. I tried to be positive & supportive. Then just as predicted….I noticed a change. I noticed a change because it’s a change I’ve been through myself and a change in his manner.

Long story short….It’s like he’s been okay on the surface, yet quite emotional. In fact, he’s been calm but extremely emotional over the smallest things. He’s not like that. He even wet the bed last night? He hasn’t done that in years.

Something’s not right? I know my baby. His mind is on something, but I don’t know what?

I don’t like the feeling of it?

Annnnnnd breathe…..

However, I’m feeling strong and well I know that when Ruby, Junior and I are together, we’re unbreakable. Add my Mum ( & the rest of my family) to the equation…and there’s just so much love, that no hate could ever triumph up over it.

We can get through anything!!!

I went out of my way to make Junior happy from that point. My mum went out of her way to make ME happy, because she thought that I might be a little shaken under a glittery service of ‘I’m fine.’ (I WAS fine. In a situation like this, when it comes to making the people I love happy, I’m strong.)

Anyway….( I must be just letting it all out. I’ll quit rambling. You guys are great therapy! Haha)

My duty was to smile, shake off the drama and make other people smile again. Make people know they were appreciated. I shifted the grey cloud away with that traditional Wunna Land *wink.*

But that’s what’s great… The solution WE ALL reached for was to ‘move on’ and do the ‘make everyone we loved & are responsible for happy, again’ thing. That’s a good bunch of humans!!! That’s true Wunna style.

Everyone stayed over that night. My entire family, after we all kinda felt a little shaken by a sudden shock that intruded our privacy. It was creepy.

When I woke up, I woke everyone else up immediately, with excitement. ( That was probably annoying.) I don’t know why I was excited? My ‘bounce back ability’ must just be on point! But I felt good!

Mum: ‘Oh gosh? What’s happened now?’

Me: ‘Nothing. Haha. Everyone get up and get dressed. I’ll wake the babies up! Let’s all just go have some fun!! Like a massive family ‘out & about’ thing.’

Mum: ‘Yep. Good idea. I’m in.’

She looked at me with a beam in her eyes. She looked at me like she couldn’t be prouder.

Whenever Junior gets back from having to be away to ‘bond,’ the worrying thing is that he’s always odd and emotionally traumatised at first. The good thing is, we adore him, he snaps out of it and then he’s always dying to have so much fun!!! I mean just getting back and realising he had a tortoise was just an utter peak for him. He couldn’t believe it!

We’ve done so much since, but that moment alone made him so happy. He actually cried his first tears of joy. Aww!!

Me: ‘What d’ya want to do today Ju?’

Junior: ‘LEEDS!!!!!! Ruby & I really want to do LEEDS!!! We want to play, buy toys and have a really yummy lunch!!!!!’

Ruby: ‘Can we Mum?’

(The reason why they love a Leeds City Centre day is because it’s one of their ‘happy places.’ They see it as an adventure, a good time, because of the first surprise ‘Staycation’ they had earlier in the year. The city centre is filled with great memories and excitement for them! They it love so much, they beg me to buy a city centre apartment every month! Haha)

‘Yeah, of course….put ya shoes on. Let’s go!!!!’

And just like that…. We were off! Take a peek…

Drama free, Holiday Vibing, Dreams come true & a Tortoise..

Today’s a good day. It’s gonna be a good day. I’m not gonna let other people’s issues try and ‘mud pile’ on the glittery soul of Wunna Land.

Ruby: ‘Mum! I’m craving a Nando’s!! Can we go??’

My world is filled with love. True love. And like I always always tell you, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! We’re doing so so well…and in times of weirdness, I’m pulling my kitten socks up, holding my chin up high, not batting an eyelid and focusing on the things that matter.

I’m eliminating the unimportant.

In times like this…You should just solely focus on the things that make you happy. Never waste time on the things that disturb your peace. It’s a worthless act. Enjoy the good moments, the great times.

We have a lot of wonderful things a happening to us right now and I’ll never let distraction in the form of ‘drama’ try and pull me away from the focus…the love…the happiness…the prize.

( Plus, I’ve just watched a guy in a jungle loin cloth, build an entire swimming pool out of bamboo online and it’s calmed my soul down swiftly. Haha. I’m not sure how it popped up on my news feed? I didn’t care at first at all. Yet, his loin clothed, amazingly skilled talent, won me over…That was it, I was hooked!! I love talented humans….in jungle loin cloths? Lol)

The kids are happy. They’ve been playing with ‘Boris’ our new pet tortoise ALL morning. We’re merrily adjusting him into Wunna Land. They’re being a bit over fussy though?

All I can hear is giggles and excitement.

But I keep having to tell them to chill…However only so I can get my OWN tortoise cuddles in! They’re such pet hoggers! I can’t get a look in!

But yes, Wunna Land is the CUTEST right now!! Junior is again still in utter shock!!!! He keeps pausing to check if everything he’s living is actually real….I love making him feel like that! Watch below….

Today we’re filming a whole bunch of video content, as we have a lot of excitement to share and the babies are doing a couple challenges . But we’re mainly filming a bundle of content, because we’re finally gonna be getting away & chilling.

Whilst we chill, our socials will play on as normal….like nothing’s ever changed. That way it gives us PROPER time away, where I can eat chick peas, naked, in the sunshine, out of tins, with plastic forks, whilst drinking gin doubles, with my family, our pets and in a secret location, where we can’t be bothered by other humans. Hahaha.

I’ve already filmed a gazillion ‘laid on my bed’ videos answering your questions. They’re saved and ready to post. I’m gonna shoot them out of my pre-filmed canon, like an on-going confetti shower.

You better enjoy them! I might put a cheeky snap in here and there!

I’m dying to go back to acting class. Not having it in my life, due to Summer break is killing me!!! Starting at YAFTA, pretty much changed my life for the better. It’s something that I both love and need. I’m not finding being an actor hard. I’m finding it a dream come true.

Yet going to acting class fills you with life because if you’re someone who loves to learn, loves to get better, loves to be around others who share the same passion….It’s perfect. I work really hard. Even when I book a job, I always still go to class. I’m good like that.

I’ve got to get off…So i’ll Leave you with this…

If you have a dream, you REALLY CAN make it happen. All you have to do is take the appropriate baby steps to get there, work hard and give it a bloody good go!

Anyway… this is the moment my mate Richard opened his purple door and right before my eyes, I met ‘Boris,’ for the first ever time!!

Life, New Pets & Intruders.

And just when you thought everything was going to be okay…you ‘wake up’ and realise that there are some heavily disturbed people in your world, who simply need to move on and away.

Today was meant to be a great. In fact it WAS a great day. It started out so beautifully with Ruby and I being filled with utter excitement because Junior was coming home after his ‘6 sleeps away,’ and we were surprising him with his new pet tortoise!!!!

Ruby really missed Junior this time around. She even refused to go away with her father today because she really wanted to be with ‘Ju.’ Pete (her Dad) understood completely. He respected her wishes. As long as she was happy. He was happy also!

(The Wunna Babies are really close. They’re REALLY close. We’re ALL really close. They’re each other’s light & I’m their rock. They’ve literally done everything together since day dot & I’m so proud of how stable & happy they are as a team. Especially after EVERYTHING we’ve been through as a family. Everything we’re going through now!)

Ruby and I shopped this afternoon to buy Junior ‘Welcome home’ treats, to go with his surprise pet. I could see in her eyes that she just wanted time to fly by, so she could see her brother. Yet she appreciated the little things everyone was doing for her, to make her smile.

Our favourite security guard called her ‘beautiful’ & assured her that it wouldn’t be too long before Junior was home.

Kenny at The Mallard, bought her a Capri Sun, which secretly filled her heart with joy…She’s just like I am. We both love thoughtfulness. She never shows it. She feels it. I’m also so grateful for everyone being so lovely to the babies.

We’d planned the whole surprise out! How we were gonna deliver it all to Junior. What we were gonna say? What we were gonna do? She was beaming!!

So as soon as we got home, there was drama. I could feel it in the air.

Junior rushed into our arms, as fast as he could!! He just held me and breathed. Something wasn’t right? He did this comforting ‘mmm’ noise repeatedly, until the drop off was complete. (I noticed that Junior didn’t even say good bye to Dad. He was ready for home. Something wasn’t right? Plus his Father has been in the house without consent?)

All Junior said whilst holding back tears was… ‘I wish I had a million more sleeps with you Mummy. I’m not gonna cry. I just want a million sleeps with you.’

Ruby: ‘Is he okay, Mum? He’s really missed me this time.’

Me: ‘He’s just relieved to be home Ru.’

He wouldn’t even let go of me. Something wasn’t right?

However, being one to notice, secretly worry, yet make everything happy & light as soon as possible…I got on with it.

We’d already picked up the tortoise. We had it hidden & we delivered the whole ‘shabam’ with excitement, love and that good old Wunna Land joy.

Junior was SO happy, he burst into tears, whilst laughing because he was filled with this overwhelming emotion. He didn’t even know what to do with himself!!! It was such a beautiful moment!!

He just couldn’t believe it!!!

It was just one of those ‘dream come true’ moments. I was even shocked at how overwhelmed he was. I filled up because he just looked SO happy.

I almost replayed it in slow motion. It was a mummy moment that I wanted save in my mind forever.

My mum, dad and brother were over and it was just so so perfect. It was just so…..’family.’ Every bit of it was exactly how life SHOULD be and we were all immersed in a moment that was simply about ‘ALL that mattered.’

Everything was perfect. Everything was just PERFECT. Then as I walked back into my home…I stopped, my head turned back and something was said….

Me: ‘What??????????????? He did what!!!!!?????!!!!! Who??????’

What???

Within a second I was filled with this weird anxiety. I mean the thought that someone was in my home without consent…picturing things, was devastating. (That’s what happened!?!)

I felt creeped out. I felt threatened. It scared me. I felt like my privacy had been invaded…and after the beginning part of my year being filled with trust breaches, from people I should be able to trust. Y’know the Twitter hacking thing. The court stuff. The industry that I work in…

I don’t know why he did that? But I knew it wasn’t okay….and knew I didn’t feel okay about it.

I burst into tears.

I hate those moments.

I mean GOSH!! Surely, ! I don’t deserve this? I don’t want to feel creeped out. How long is this gonna go on for??? And most of all WHY??? What is WRONG with people? Why do they do this?

Then in that moment my mum watched me, comforted me and said…

‘Chrissie, he’s not all there. He’s nuts. You don’t have to stress.’

How did my day end up like this?

You can’t go into someone’s home without consent…. Everyone knows that.

The next few hours I spent adoring my babies, and being giddy over ‘Boris’ our brand new pet tortoise.

Junior: ‘Mummy, is this a story?’

Me: ‘Noooo, what do you mean?’

Junior: ‘I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe it’s real. Like…I have a real life tortoise…It’s got to be a dream.’

Me: ‘Dreams come true little one.’

….and he beamed.

I don’t think it’s actually sunk in. I think he’s still in shock!!!

There’s no wine in Wunna land!!!!

I know!!!! The struggle is real! I’m devastated. It’s like I have no life now. I’m vegan. I’m doing pilates. I’m face masking to mediation music. (It was creepy and boring. Have you noticed how when you face mask yourself, instead of letting a beauty therapist do it, it’s not as delightful. It’s dull…like a chore.) I now have no cocktails in my system…and yeah… it’s pretty miserable. (Haha)

Ruby’s put me on a ‘ONE WEEK’ drinking ban, for a challenge. I’ve spiced up their (The Wunna Babies) Summer, by granting them a family Youtube vlog. Now, they have to do challenges ALL time, in order to recieve goodies. (I figured, granting them the opportunity was a good thing because yeah, they wanted it & enjoy doing it. Yet! I could also crash course them in life lessons. ie/ You won’t always win everything, get everything & you have to work hard for the things that you want! 😉 )

It’s back fired and now they’re expecting ME to do challenges. Haha! Gosh! I certainly dislike being banned from ‘good times.’ I do like to BE challenged. I’m up for a laugh provided it’s not too unruly. But dodgy challenges, where I have to refrain from drinking for an entire week, in order to…

Me: ‘What do I even win!?!’

Ruby: ‘A massage, a spa day…a…’

Me: ‘You don’t have any money to reward me after a challenge…and I don’t need a spa day.’

Ruby: ‘Well…I guess you win nothing. Haha. I’ll draw you a picture.’

Me: ‘I’m not NOT having an after work wine, for a picture!!! Please don’t make me. Haha.’

(There always needs to be a worthy prize, when it comes to me!)

Ruby: ‘Well…if you do it, i’ll TREAT you to letting you have ONE wine a week.’

Eh???????????????????????????????

She has a great sense of humour!??!! It’s appalling! I don’t even know where she gets it from? Anyway, you’d think that i’d ofcourse either REFUSE to agree, or just do the usual ‘smile/nod’ followed by lies, deceit and doing whatever I want.

Y’know….the ‘standard’ Wunna Land procedure, when people try to take fun away from me.

(I HONESTLY HAVE NO LIFE NOW!!! I NEED 49 COCKTAILS IMMEDIATELY!!)

Did my own loin fruit, attempt to overthrow the Queen of Wunna Land? Junior would never do this to me!!! (He’s back from his second six day with his Dad tomorrow at 3pm. We can’t wait to see him!!)

Anyway, I thought i’d just agree to Ruby’s Tom Foolery, then do whatever I wanted….I mean, she’d never know, would she!!

But then I flash backed to a time she cried on the stairs at home, because she once realized that I had lied to her about chicken nuggets.

Guilt, doubt and fear trickled into my soul… I started to second guess everything. Lol. I couldn’t do it!

I even posted a poll on my Insta Story (haha) because I felt distorted. (Even the poll was lame. It ended up with a fifty/fifty ‘yes/no.’

AWESOME!! Good times! Only my true friends voted ‘YES!!’

Anyway, it’s day THREE of NO DRINKING. I’ve accidentally chose to honour her ‘i win nothing’ challenge. I don’t even know why? Haha. I can drink at any time and she would never ever know? But my flipping ‘goody two shoes’ kitten soul, just won’t seem to let me.

This means that under a whole lot of uncared for clip in hair extensions…I’m actually a really good person.

Who knew? 😉 (I’m not gonna keep this up. Not because I can’t or because I don’t win a worthy prize…Yet because her motive isn’t good enough. Her ‘why’ isn’t strong enough! Lol

I’m struggling… The only benefit is the ‘it’s good for me’ thing. Plus, i’m being honourable and all that jazz sits nicely.

I’m on DAY THREE and it’s not my favourite, but I’m okay. Haha.. I’ve even been buying SPARKLING WATER, in order to pretend that it’s PROSECCO. (I feel like she’s trying to send me deliberately loopy to take over the throne.)

Being banned from things is initially awful, isn’t it? It makes you want it more, for no reason! I’m having to constantly chew gum and find things for my hands to do…other than lift up a glass flute, filled with a delicious, bubbly, alcoholic delight. If I had one in front of me three days ago, before I was banned, I wouldn’t have been too bothered.

It mildly adjusts your sanity! Haha!

I mean, I even nearly BOUGHT A BOOK OF FLIPPING POEMS ABOUT CATS!!!!!!!

I just can’t deal with the weird ‘vanilla’ madness of my world right now. Everything’s so clean and squeaky and pure.

If I’m being honest, i’ve found being Vegan really easy. I never ate much anyway. Missing out on meat & dairy etc, hasn’t been difficult. My incentive is to get skinnier. (This is after I got podgy, during my six weeks of eating absolutely everything in sight…NON- stop, due to…well…. issues.)

I just really want a decent body by Christmas, because i turn 39 in December. (I know. It’s old.) But I’m excited!

I’m me at the end of that day and I know we’re not meant to celebrate vanity (because I assure you, my incentive has nothing to do with good health)…But I’m not wanting to be NEARLY 40 and not HOT. Haha. I really want everyone to be like…

‘Holy Mackerel!! She’s a BOMB!!’

(Why would anyone say ‘Mackerel?’)

Anyway, I want the masses to express excitement, like i’m on some other kind of crazy level of deliciousness for my age! I don’t even know why? There was just a moment where I didn’t have much on my face…which I liked…but I was in these dodgy sweat pants. I looked at myself and thought…’What the hell am I doing???’ I looked like I was out in my pyjamas!!!!

I shouldn’t have eaten so much for that dodgy SIX WEEKS. But if you knew what I was going through you’d get it.

But i’ll tell you…I’m back in pilates Tuesday. I can’t wait. It’s been a dream. I haven’t made it to Dance Class yet. I’ve had too much on. Life’s a juggle. It’s hard. Especially with Junior going back and forth. But i’ll get there.

I know that sounds excusey. Yet I can head to dance class ANY time. I just want to make sure that the babies have THE BEST time through the Summer Holidays. I don’t take my time with them for granted… ever. How they feel at 8 & 6 will determine who they ARE at 9 & 7. (When they’re 20 something…I won’t ever be able to have this time back….and time just seems to be flying.)

I’m a family gal. My Mama taught me well. We’re really lucky.

Anyway… Here’s a round up….I can’t be bothered to write everything out now..,

We have ‘Welcome to Wunna land’ a coming out soon. I haven’t been able to blog, due to concentrating on the children and the Summer holidays.

I’ve definitely turned into a hippy and finding pure living difficult. Everyone needs a cheeky streak. That’s what keeps everything exciting. I feel like mine is being surpressed…Hahah. Yet it MUST be for a good reason. There’s a reason this is having to happen.

I’m missing acting class. Without it in my life, I’m feeling all unhappy and lost. That’s how you know you love something!!!!

Everyone keeps asking me about my love life and what i’m gonna say to you, is that it’s fine. That’s all I’m gonna say.

I trust life ever so truely. It’s never ever done me wrong. So whatever happens…is meant toooo be, right?

That’s what i’m gonna say! Yeah! We’ll go with that.

But yes…Junior’s back tomorrow. (I simply cant wait!!) I’m really really happy. It’s been really hard on everyone, including himself.

I’m healthier than I’ve ever been. ( That’s FOR SURE.) I’ve lost a bit of weight, due to being Vegan. (Who knew chickpeas were your friend.) The rest I guess has been via stress…which is never good. It’s not as jolly is it?

TOMORROW I’m headed to Mr. Wright’s to go pick up the FIRST of our BRAND NEW PETS.

Yes!!! You heard!!!!

Tomorrow, we’re tottering to ‘Wrighty’s Family Home’ to introduce ourselves to ‘Boris’ the tortoise and straight up move him into Wunna Land immediately. (Tenderly of course. We’re glamour pusses.)

I can’t wait!!! I’m like a kid. I’m giddy!!! I don’t really do pets…(on any level…;) .) But for some reason, I just feel so ‘pet shop- dandy?’

I think it’s because the babies, with all their hearts LOVE pets and they’ve been SO WONDERFUL with our cat ‘Rocco.’ They literally do ALL the feeding & the cat litter cleaning. We ALL do the cuddles. But Ruby & Junior are quite great when it comes to genuine responsibility.

I’m also just wanting to show a tortoise some love!

So yes, Saturday…we get ‘Boris.’

Sunday, we’re ALSO BUYING another Tortoise. But a baby sized one, who I wanted to name ‘Prada,’ but the babies want to name ‘Baby Boo.’

I’m filming the moments for YouTube… So you’ll be able to watch…

However for now…treat yourself to this…

The kids won ‘ANYTHING’ they wanted at Meadowhall.

Is this your Doodle?

Right, I can’t seem to go to Meadowhall, Sheffield without something bonkers happening to me!?! Last week ‘Stalker BRUCE’ found me, & asked if I’d do pictures for him with a Santa mug. Then he gave me a script to read for a radio show, whilst I was with Ruby, sipping on an Aperol Spritz, whilst building a lie detector ector test, that she forced me to purchase from Waterstones. Haha.

Stalker Bruce was so grateful that I did all the pics, vids and shoutouts for him, that he ran upstairs to Waterstones, where Ainsley Harriet was doing a book signing. He then forced Waterstones to give him the advertising board for the event, before asking Ainsley to sign it for me and picture with it. 

10 minutes later, Bruce dashed into The Palm Sugar Lounge with a giant Ainsley board under his arm, proud as punch, and handed me it as a thank you. It sat with me the entire time I mojito’d. 

Hahaha! I actually loved it! I was so impressed! So thoughtful. So hilarious. I do love a gift. 

But yes, I love Meadowhall. Fun things always happen. My family and I rejoice in every single delight that Meadowhall has to offer. It’s amazing! The kids think it’s magical. 

We’ve done the Postrooms. We’ve tinkered to Bobo Tea. We’ve shopped Disney. We’ve won Lego comps. We’ve glittered at Naughty Unicorn. Bought mood rings in the Lanes. Shared Boost Juices, gathered tools, had massages & even ‘Clip n climbed.’

I’ve flirted with cocktails at Rizzoli. Chocolate fondued at Godiva. Shimmied to The Palm Sugar lounge. Bought the kids Coal fired steaks. We’ve broken pitas at Nando’s, shared plates and love at Wagamamas. We’ve stopped by, simply to ‘Cinema’ and even taken a sneaky Yo!Sushi home with us! 

And that’s not even half of it…

Plus, the new FREE adventure playground has now opened and Ruby & Junior can’t WAIT to go try it out!! We’re pretty much at Meadowhall every week now and we never ever seem to get bored of it. 

There’s new a surprise down every corner. 

Obviously we picture & post everything we do there, in case YOU ever tinker to Meadowhall & want to know what’s on offer! 

But OH MY GOSH!!! Only I could find a big Doodle Wall, mural thing. Read the words ‘Doodle’ and automatically assume it’s by Mr.Doodle. 

THEN I started picture taking with Ruby by the Doodle wall. (Ruby loves Mr.Doodle.) We both adore art and creativity! 

THEN I post our pics EVERYWHERE!!! 

Literally everywhere! 

Twitter! Facebook! Insta! Snapchat! The Moon! The Streets! The Nunneries. Everywhere!!! This is whilst I’m going on about how EXCITED we were to picture with a MR.DOODLE, doodle (everyone on Twitter is all ecstatic ) & even better…I THEN MENTION & tag Mr.Doodle in the pics! 

Beautiful moment. 

It wasn’t even HIS work. It wasn’t even HIS Doodle. It was some other guy named Dave’s doodle. Hahah. 

 I just THOUGHT it was by Mr.Doodle because he’s the only worldwide famous Doodler I knew…and therefore decided to re-credit, Dave’s ‘Meadowhall doodle’…as Mr.Doodles work and announce it to the masses. Haha! 

Wow! Did I look like a tool!!

AND…even worse Ruby STILL believes the doodle was by Mr.Doodle himself and is telling everyone…

Then came the inbox…

Mr.Doodle: ‘Thank you so much, but that piece in the background isn’t my work. Haha. *Emoji monkey hand over face.*

Hahah. I mean can you imagine!! Up until this point, I thought it was and the real life Mr.Doodle was so incredibly sweet that he HAD to tell me, but he did it so gently. Lol  I could tell he was dashed with sweetness. Our chat went on all day.

I mean there he is getting ready for his huge exhibition in Tokyo, doodling away, with his 2.7 Million Instagram followers…. and even HE’s having to *pause* to deal with Wunna Land drama…and up until that point in our lives, we had NEVER EVER known, or uttered a single word to one another.

Anyway, for the rest of the day we chatted and it became the acest, most random banter ever! I loved it.

Me: ‘My favourite colour’s pink. Like a boozy Cosmo.’

Mr.Doodle: ‘Haha. I’ve never heard it described like that before!!’

Anyway, I apologised for my lunacy. Imagine apologising to Mr.Doodle because you’ve been so foolish. Imagine having a whole afternoon convo with Mr.Doodle about the things that guys DM me on my ‘Ask Me A Question’ doo-daa, which could never be classed as normal, without 92 cold showers.

But he was sweet and great and….

Let’s say, neither of us woke up that morning and thought…We’d ever be accidentally path crossing.

But yes, that picture went up on my blog. And yes, we both promised to never tell Ruby it was by someone else. Haha.

Oh! And to ‘Dave Draws’…(I found out it was your work.) So sorry for the re-credit. Haha. I kinda just went with the Mr. Doodle vibe.

Gossip or Brows?

Nothing could be a better combination that ultimate gossip, vodka and henna brows. That was my Tuesday evening…and with the doll that is ‘Hustle Barbie.’ 

I kinda just rocked up on her doorstep, looking like a troll, knackered from Pilates, in the rain, like food someone had just spat out. 

If you’ve followed this blog, you’ll know that I’m really good friends with ‘Hustle Barbie’ and I absolutely used to work with her, I’d say a couple years ago? I’ve lost track of time. She’s beautiful. I think she’s still vegan. She’s fun. 

We have some amazing memories of debauchery. She loves a good time! She is THE FUNNIEST once gin is added. But now, she’s all brand new, with a…. ‘split up from her old boyfriend/now have a new boyfriend & also a brand new house, job and business.’ 

BOOM! 

(…with creepily delicious bedroom gossip.) 

Me: ‘What!?! Wait!!! Where the hell was Double B & Firmonnell? Haha. Did they not think, hey we’ve left a really drunk Hustle, with a homeless guy, sat on a pavement? Yay! Free shots! Let’s go! ’

Hustle: ‘I just looked around and everyone was gone!?! Haha. Then up came….’

Me: ‘OMG!!!!’ 

I knew straight away…. Haha. She didn’t even have to say it.  I literally cried with laughter!!! She has properly excelled herself. I’m still not over it. I am crying!!! 

Hustle: ‘Have you ever…?’ 

Me: ‘Well, when I was 20, I…..’

Hustle: ‘Oh. That’s not so bad…’

Me: ‘Oh shit! Wait! I forgot about….Haha..He was…’

Hustle: ‘Hahaha…We’ve all done that. What is that NAME!!! I can’t believe you’ve been with someone called…’

Me: ‘I can’t believe you did that!?!’ 

Hustle: ‘Has Mr. Chow pooed? I think he’s pooed. Has he pooed?’

Me: ‘Why am I fat now!!!??!!! I looked in the mirror and I look like a jelly baby! What’s going on with….?’

Anyway, we’ve had fun times and great gossip for sure, in the past. However, we also have these weird memories where I simply sat opposite her, with a barrier between us and glared at her face all day on an orange swizzle chair. 

That’s true friendship.

But back to brows. 

It was really really lovely when she swung open her door and I saw her stood there, fresh from work. It had felt like such a long, yet once I was there it was kinda like everything went back to normal. We were slumped on her giant sofa with a vodka talking life.

I really wanted to support her new business because I believe in people being brave enough to start new ventures that gravitate around the things that they love. 

That way you’re happy…not just existing and getting by. 

This is a good start and there I was laid on her brow bed. In fact, we’ve all been in the name of support. 

The more love you can give a friend when it comes to new work chapters, the better, I think? She deserves it…and she’ll be juggling a lot. I know what that feels like. She seems really happy! That made me smile.

But more importantly my brows turned out beautifully. She did and exceptional job. 

If you didn’t know I have ZERO brow game. No brows. They’re not here. Where are they though? No brows ever!?! 

I have no brows!!! 

I lifted myself off her brow bed, looked in the mirror and there they were…actual, perfectly shaped, dyed, trimmed and waxed BROWS. 

They looked AMAZING!!! I was so pleased. I’ve never had my brows done before! She could probably tell!!! 

Hustle: ‘They’ll last for 6 weeks. They’re henna. They’ll actually encourage brow growth. Wipe around them, not over them so that they last longer. Try not to get them in water.’ 

It felt really great to just lay there and be pampered after the longest day, that began with Pilates and it’s only £25. 

I had no clue what she was doing??? But when it comes to beauty. You kinda just trust ‘Hustle.’ She’s got this!! She’s beautiful & has perfect brows. I mean the first thing you do before you get brows is check out the ‘brow masters’ brows! Right? Her brow game is on point!!

The whole entire evening was just so lovely. I needed a bit of brow love. Any love! Gimme! Gimme!! 

Hustle: ‘When can we do drinks?’ 

Me: ‘Whenever now. I can’t go anywhere. I need to message Mel.’ 

My brows were amazing, yet the catch up just made it divine.

This is what I learnt…

‘Fairytale’s trying for a baby.’ 

‘Double B is….Hahah.’ 

‘Firmonnell is going through some tings.’

‘Shizzle, is still Shizzle.’ 

‘Ham Sandwich is still there.’

And, ‘Mel is really happy now and not grumpy.’ 

Me: ‘Yeah, I’ve seen Mel. I’ve done drinks with her.’ 

Then I called a taxi, with my new brows and went home. 

Hustle: ‘What did you like better? Gossip or brows?’

@sarahvictoriabrows

Pilates Filled Tequila

 Right! I don’t join stuff. I don’t do pottery clubs, slimming clubs, collect stamps or anything like that. I don’t have the gusto for things that don’t involve well shaken cocktails or just me, me, me. Lol. 

Yet, it seems, that during the last 6 sleeps, where Junior was absent, ALL I wanted to do…was JOIN. Join everything. Start a revolution. 

Join! Join! Join! 

I didn’t want to talk to anyone whilst joining. (I think someone tried to ask me a question and I replied with, ‘I don’t know??? I’m filled with tequila.’ Haha. ) I just wanted to join and get on with it. Do the things that terrified me. Be a joiny person. 

In a weird way, I kinda wanted to go back in time and BE who I WAS. Who I used to be? I don’t understand the trigger, (I’ll leave that to the experts) but something happened??? Haha. 

Cue: Being nuts 

So, something happened where I just felt that the only way to get through this ‘dodgy old week,’ was to firstly OCCUPY myself with all sorts. THEN decide that I’m fatter than normal. (Like we do.) THEN commit to total enlightenment AND THEN (after turning Vegan) do a million things that would make me both happier and skinner immediately. Y’know, do a million things that would make me a BETTER & healthier human being. 

Tuesday morning…I showed up at the Santosha Studios, @santoshayogapontefract for the 9.30am Pilates class in Pontefract. 🙂 (All my friends cried with laughter, because as I stated on my Facebook page, I’m Half Asian/Half Tequila. I don’t lunge and stretch and certainly not on a mat around other people.) 

I’d drank a decent amount the night before. 

I do know Meli who teaches the @west_yorkshire_pilates_yoga class. Ruby & Dexter (her son) are in school together. I’d been planning to check into her Pilates shindig for ages. I just never did due to circumstance, time…excuses….court….all sorts. 

Yipppeeee!!!

Tuesday morning…Day 3 of being vegan. Day 4 of Junior ‘being away,’ there I was…early, for Pilates, in bare feet . (I’m always early.) 

Meli: ‘I’m so glad you’re here!’ 

Me: ‘I can’t actually believe I’m here. Wait!!! I need to film it for Instagram.’ 

There I was in some silver grey, Aladdin sweats because my new Pilates leggings that I’d bought still had the flipping security tag attached to them, when I got them home. 

Annoying!!!!! 

I was proud of myself for being there. But I was definitely terrified. I felt like I was committing to an ‘out of my comfort zone’ experience, so I knew it was good for me. I had an updo in. This was serious shit. 

However, because I’m ridiculous and never done pilates before, I weirdly thought that it would be chilled and easy…like a stretchy nap, mixed with a soft mellow breeze. 

Holy HOG!

I had never been so intensely worked out in my life!!! I couldn’t even breathe or walk afterward. I almost puked!!! Haha. I’m that unfit!!! 

I was fine at first. (I haven’t worked out in years. Maybe a decade?) But before class, a lady was going on about head stands against walls and that was me done!! 

I don’t stand on my head. My head wears tiaras & takes selfies. It dunt do that!!! 

Meli: ‘I’m actually really impressed, it’s like you’d done it before. You’re brilliant.’ 

 Me: ‘I don’t know how? I can’t even see??’ 

(Chick friend: ‘The thing about Chrissie is, that she pretends she bad at everything, when she’s actually really good at everything. She wouldn’t have gone if she thought she was going to be rubbish at it. Especially in front of people. Oh! And she REQUESTED pictures for her ‘socials.’ Haha ;)’ ) 

I’m not being funny or anything, but I NEED photographic evidence that Pilates actually happened!!! 

Anyway!! 

The ‘jollies’ kicked in, 10 minutes into it all…and I was like ‘what the hell is going on!?!’ I was sweating, trying to balance on a hog, my legs were stretched out, my bottom half was in a bridge, I was baking in a window of sun, my arms were over my head…I didn’t even know what was happening to me & Meli’s sating ‘do 10 on each side!!!’ Haha! 

It was like being pissed, but I was sober!!!???!!!

In fact, there was a moment where I just laid on my front, face down into a foam block, whilst everyone else was trying to do Pilates and I just quietly pissed myself laughing, whilst uttering swear words.

It was Tuesday MORNING for crying out loud. I was so exhausted. I’d had 4 hours sleep. I was half an hour into class and I figured if I moved one more muscle, I’d either puke or die. Like I had to choose? Haha. 

Only I would LAUGH in that moment. 

 It felt like every alcoholic drink I had ever consumed wanted to be puked out? 

But I got through it. The class was great. It was really thorough and intense on the old core. It was hard, but I wanted the class to challenge me. I’m not one to go to the gym, so I needed a more creative way to tone, burn calories and search for spiritual well being. Haha. 

It was perfect!! That hour was LONG though!!!!  

Class like environments are good for me. I’m naturally filled with pride, so i’ll want to do well. I’ll want to push and be all ‘look at me.’ I’m pathetic like that. 🙂 I can’t do a trainer because I’m certainly not bothered about having someone shout at me, whilst making me do things I dislike. Lol 

I can’t wait to pilates again!!! Literally couldn’t walk the next day AND I had to take two naps. I even took a day off my ‘socials.’ (Oh Lordy!!) However, that night was the first night I had actually slept like a baby! 

I’m still deciding if I can make this Tuesday morning (i might have to alternate through Summer) because I have Dance class at Koby Studios, (Haha…Hello Joiner….) in Leeds Tuesday evening…and also this week is my Junior week, so I want to spend as much time with him as I can. 

It didn’t end there….

That evening….after Ruby laughed her head off at the fact that I was dying after Pilates….I went to see a good chick friend of mine ‘Hustle Barbie.’ She’s started her own business and so ofcourse, I let her whop our some Henna and tackle the brows of Wunna Land….