All anyone needs is that little bit of love. It is the NUMBER ONE thing (other than life) that we all have in common. It’s the NUMBER ONE thing that each one of us searches for, tries to hold on to or treasures.
Be good to people. They’ll remember you for it. (Be bad to people & YOU’LL remember it. It’ll niggle in the back of your head for decades, until you have the opportunity to ‘make it right.’)
I zoomed through my newsfeed on my ‘socials’ yesterday & all I saw were pictures of my friends being all coupley, all gushy and in love. Date nights. Surprise flowers. Rare lovey dovey holiday photos. It was lovely. I liked it. I loved it. It made me smile.
But then it made me mini jealous because..well…I’m not in a position where I can do that, am I? I mean, ‘flaunt’ love. Y’know those moments of happiness…which I’ve kinda just rubber stamped as the ‘NUMBER ONE’ most important thing in our entire existence. Haha.
I just have to remember the moments in my gin brain…which isn’t the best because I’m sure my mind won’t make it to 80, when I can actually TELL you some proper stories.
You will do utter faces of ‘shock!’
Our ‘Socials’ are great because ALL we have to do is selfie something, a treasured moment of joy and well Facebook will remind us of it year after year…EVEN if we don’t want them toooo! Haha. I hate some of my memories. I couldn’t cringe more. Then the ones I thought I had handled or ‘rummed’ out are presented to me once more, almost lovingly ! It’s EVIL! Haha.
(Predictive text is ace. Whenever I type ‘NUMBER One,’ it keeps coming up as ‘NUDES.’)
Anyway, it was lovely and a refreshing change to my weekend newsfeed. We’re back to Monday now, so it all might go tits up..
In Summer we all tend to get a little friskier, don’t we? Haha. We all tend to have cheekier glints in our eyes. We’re flirtier. We’re more open to fun. ‘Carefree’ is packed in our suitcases, with a side of ‘all the gin.’ We dip our toes in the pools of ‘no regret’ and were less scared to give new opportunities a go, right? Some of us do it all bikinis. It’s a strange time. Haha.
The sun makes us do crazy things. (Notice how I’m currently trying to blame ‘the seasons’ now for everything.)
But anyway, I’m getting distracted.
All anyone needs is love. Cherish someone. Nurture someone. Be there for someone through the rough bits. Still be there for them through the great bits. Treat someone. Show unbreakable support. Show kindness. Be understanding, where you can be. Be fun. Show respect where it’s due (it’s not always due)….and do so without them having to prompt you. (Nothing is worse than having to prompt someone to be extra lovely to you. I always think people should just KNOW!!! Haha.)
APPRECIATE someone….and when you do really great things happen. If you make someone’s world flourish, life will thank you for it later, threefold.
Good times, good luck and good love are always just around the corner.
(Oh & don’t drink too much in the sun. It keeps giving me heat stroke. Happy Sunshine! It’s meant to be a sizzle of one today.)
Alarms though. I haven’t been able to sleep because my neighbour’s burglar alarm sudden popped off last night, all jolly, with b’zinga. It decided to ‘sound away’ for a good couple of hundred hours. It was like an futile, yet endless ‘Robbers Rave,’ that no one showed up to. My neighbours must be away, deaf or can’t remember codes?
That made everything more fun….for no-one. Haha.
The kids slept straight through it. (Saying that, I did once sleep through an Earthquake in LA.) But there I was, in my kimono, no face and specs…peering out my window like Old Mother Hubbard with an Oriental squint.
I was doing that thing where you try and figure what it is, where it’s coming from and making sure it wasn’t coming from anything belonging to you. Lol
I definitely knew it wasn’t coming from anything belonging to me…I checked. But I kept re-checking and I have no clue why? #issues
I’m usually helpful. This time…because I’m keeping my life simple, I just shut my window, got back into bed and laid staring at the ceiling. 🙂 (I’m an inspiration. Lol.) It looked like drama that really shouldn’t have anything to do with me. I didn’t help at all. Tragic behaviour really. But I play to my strengths and that wasn’t one of mine. 🙂
It’s like in acting class I’ll smash my scene. I’ll love it. I’ll watch it back. Everyone tells me they love it also. I’ll get great feedback…But oh my GOSH, I can’t seem to work a folding chair for the life of me!Haha. It folds away! Everyone can do it. Not me!?! How the hell does a folding chair fold?
American Girl: ‘It’s the hardest part of the class for her! Haha.’
Voice: ‘I think she’s used to things being folded away for her.’
#truestory (I am shocking at everyday menial tasks. It’s not a strength. I usually just wink and stuff happens…Haha. We should stick to our strengths.)
Anyway…back to alarms!!!
I hate alarms. I even hate waking up to alarms I’ve set myself…simply because I believe our bodies should just wake naturally. We shouldn’t be shocked up! It’s bad for the soul, I’m sure! Lol
The only alarm I’ve loved waking up to was in 2009 and it was BBF Samuel’s ‘Little Mermaid’ alarm. Who knew ‘Part of Your World’ was a great way to slowly rise from dream land. (Saying that…I WAS disturbed during that time. I HAD just had a month of my life, where I was trapped in a pink, fluffy Paris Hilton house aired on the telly, for the masses to mock, in the name of entertainment.)
Wait! The kids are making me super glue toy cranes…
What I actually wanted to say is…IT’S SUNDAY and I hope you have the most wonderful day possible. To everyone reading this…thank you SO much. To everyone messaging me! Again, thank you deeply. I just feel like Wunna Land grows and has all this lovely support because of you.
I chop and change A LOT, but the thing is…that’s life. That’s how MY life is. It’s how I develop as a person. Therefore my blog AND socials kinda stay true to that.
Y’know, I’ll sometimes look back at stuff and cringe. But when I flash back, I remember how much I loved it at the time. Or how much I didn’t!
If you just tinker onward, make the correct changes that are true to your heart and make the most of what you have…good things happen. They really do!
Y’know, you might get a little bumped and a little bruised along the way…But lessons are there to be learnt and you can change a dodgy chapter, whenever you wish to! All it actually takes is a decision…but ‘wishing to’ is a really good start.
Have a wonderful day.
Lots of love,
Ps/ ‘Hustle Barbie’ loved my last blog! I was accidentally vegan again today! 😉
Don’t worry! I haven’t left you on your tiddly pops! Today I decided that I was gonna be Vegan. Not forever. I kinda just decided this morning, when I woke up. Like that time I woke up one morning and decided I was gonna be a Burlesque dancer…for the day.
You’d think I wouldn’t have any time to add ‘more stuff’ to the agenda. Anyway. I smashed it. I was Vegan for THE ENTIRE DAY and found it easy. Haha. There you go! I was once a Vegan. Is gin part of a plant based diet…because I had one of them too? A double! 🙂 (…with ‘No!!! Don’t put ANYTHING in it’ fruit. He once dipped genitals, in a mates drink.)
I will say it’s hard to be vegan in the rain…because rain makes me uncomfortable. But I troopered on because well…all vegans look slim.
Lindy: ‘Are you being Vegan because Aladdin is?’
Me: ‘Haha. Maybe! Who knows? I love how cute Mena looks! I wanna look cute.’
Lindy: ‘You look SEXY. No-ones gonna cast you as the cute, innocent…’
Me: ‘Everyone says that to me…both here AND LA. At least I’ll always have the fun parts. I wonder if how ya *drawn* has an affect on your actual personality?’
Lindy: ‘I wonder if it’s happy hour in here?’
Bottom line, I’m 38 and now struggling to lose weight. I ATE EVERYTHING during my 2 week retreat of ‘happy,’ away from blogging, to deal with stuff. Literally everything. If you walked passed me slowly enough, I would’ve dipped you in soy sauce and munched your arm off.
My mum encouraged this ‘eating everything’ malarky…because I’m usually so careful. So I’m gonna blame HER. Lol. I’m fat because she enabled and encouraged. She’s vegan today too. (Karma’s fun!)
Lots of people don’t know this, but I am veggie anyway…and I’m veggie because I wanna lose some belly timber. I don’t hate meat. I’m not weeping over animals. I just want to lose weight healthily. Desperados aren’t great for the figure. Who knew?? And I don’t even have the LIME in mine! The FRUIT part!
But I’ve put a good stack on. I’ve evened it out. Played it okayish. But now, I just want to be a full vegetarian , slim right down, have what I call Vegan ‘zap days,’ where I’m completely plant based, until I can get over my sashimi craving. (I DON’T WANNA GET OVER MY SASHIMI CRAVING!!)
Luckily M&S food have saved the day, with their Asian ‘Plant Kitchen’ range thing. I’m not gonna cook anything am I? So, I love the fact that I can just totter in and buy beautifully ready made, fresh as an edamame bean, Vegan stuff…that I don’t have to cook.
I’m not a cooker. I don’t do things like that. Haha. That’s probably why I grew up on salads, simply because they were easy to chuck together, without having to bob a pan out.
My chick friend ‘Hustle Barbie’ is gonna love this whole vegan dingo. (She still has to do my brows.) She’s been a Vegan for ages now. But my celebrity chef, LA bestie Ronnie….is not. He hates vegans. Lol. But I think he’s only met the ‘tree hugging, don’t want to pay him more for his troubles’ type. I’m cool. I do gin.
I’m Vegan.Tomorrow I’m back to veggie. Next month…I’ll be skinny. I’m fine with plants chilling in my body. I’m sure it’s much easier to burn off than part of a entire cows loin. Especially with my distinct lack of working out. (I’m even having some Royal Jelly cellulite cream rubbed into my tummy as we speak…while I write this blog on my phone notes, to ‘copy/ paste’ later. Wait!?! Bees! Is this cream not vegan?)
I’ve had a great day with the family. It’s been wonderful. Works great. It’s just been so uplifting. What a great change! The career looks hopeful…This is it! I feel so good!
‘..I want you to know that people don’t just walk in and get these spots. The feedback on you has been great. You’re someone who has shown drive, commitment and confidence. Someone that we think has a really good chance at succeeding.’
How lovely is that!!!! It just fills me with smiles. Everything happens when it’s meant to happen! I have faith in love and life.
Y’know people in general have just been SO lovely to the babies and I. Literally no matter where we go!
I really appreciate that! I want to make sure you ALL know that!!!
I mean Kenny at The Mallard (we know him well.) He went out of his way today to make Ruby smile via the fine art of Nutella flavoured, burger looking biscuits…with a side of juice. It made her feel special. She loves a good treat!! . So I’m thankful for that. All the staff there are wonderful. Even Darren, (a customer) who follows Wunna Land closely, treated the kids. They’re rinsing it. Haha. But honestly, it’s so sweet.
Everywhere we go! Everyone. Security. School. Shop staff. In restaurants. I mean in Ginos, Leeds, they treat us all so incredibly well. They treat the babies like they’re their own!
The girl who glittered Ruby’s face at ‘Naughty Unicorn’ in Meadowhall. She sent me the loveliest message, saying what a treat it was to have done so and thanked me for sharing it. I thought that was really kind.
The staff at The Ivy, Ego, The Entertainer, Toytown, Wagamamas and Issho! There’s just so many. I can’t name you all. But everyone is just so lovely to us and I don’t know why? What I’m trying to say is…I’m really really grateful.
(Oh? ‘London Business Man’ has just messaged me. His girlfriend cheated on him with a work colleague..so he’s left her. Gosh! That must not feel too pleasant. Poor thing. I’m sure he did a lot for her.)
Sometimes it’s not easy dashing about, making it look ‘chilled,’ doing the old acting career and blogging away, with both babies with you during the Summer, 24/7. I love it. I LOVE IT!! But sometimes it’s not simple because they look at me with their doughie eyes, like I’m some kind of Mothering Idol. Then I just sack unimportant stuff off…and before you know it, a week has passed and I haven’t written a single blog. Haha.
I think I’m just a sucker for love. Doesn’t matter how it comes! I love to receive it. I love to give it.
If you haven’t ‘Shared Your Happiness’ at the Frenchgate Centre in Doncaster…you really should. It’s the perfect time to enjoy a message & join in with the merriment. Right?
I mean, especially as some of you head into the Summer holidays with the children. (Mine have already broken up & they’re loving it.) In fact, even if you’re an adult and you simply TAKE A MOMENT. (We never TAKE as many moments, as WE SHOULD, do we?) It’s really important that you do. Y’know, just to ‘pause,’ smile, remember and embrace the things that make YOU happy. The simple things.
Of recent, I’ve changed my entire lifestyle around to keeps things simple, keep things happy, so there’s no ‘cafuffle.’ Therefore, I think it’s a great idea to take part in something that makes OTHER people happy also!
I reckon we’re gonna have a wonderful Summer. A ‘Wunnaful’ Summer 😉 and Ruby, Junior & I are sharing tiny pieces of OUR version of life on our ‘socials.’ It’s basically just ALL the things we love. All the things we do.
A lot of you are already there with us and I couldn’t be more thankful. I appreciate every bit of love that you’re taking the time to send us. It means a lot to know that we’re hopefully inspiring you! (Whenever there’s a really sweet message, I read it out to the kids and they get all giddy with excitement.)
So, I’m working really hard right now, but I’m beaming. Good work keeps me alive! However, I balance it all really well with family. (Single Mumming it, as I call it.) Right now, that ‘straight from the soul’ kinda joy, is a happening …and these little moments of time, fun, life and family, mean the world to me. They mean the world to us all!
I’m not someone who takes real moments of ‘happy’ for granted. I guess it’s because I know, so many others struggle to find it. That’s why I treasure it deeply.
But yes, I’ve Joined The Frenchgate Happiness Movement…cos why not! I’ve seen many a campaign and let me tell you, this one has been delivered beeeeautifully. It’s developing before my kitten eyes, with new surprises every week. It’s old school thoughts, with a modern day twist! It’s right up my street &
whoever came up with the initial idea is an absolute marvel.
It’s completely Wunna Land. It’s exactly what I want to see and feel. It’s bright. It’s direct. It’s fun. It’s creative. It’s eye catching. You’ll stop. You’ll look. You’ll question. It’s glamorous.
I like that it educates & promotes a message of joy..a message of self care.
It reminds us to be happy because sometimes you’re happier than you think! You have everything you need right around you! We fail to see that sometimes.
In life we learn a lot. Schools teach us our ‘A, B, C’s.’ It teaches us discipline and structure. It helps us find our way into a work field. But no-one really sits down and teaches us the art of happiness. That’s not on a curriculum. That’s something we have to feel out and find by ourselves, through experience. That’s the adventure. So I’m kinda enjoying teaching ‘happiness’ over to my babies….as we casually saunter and shop. They’re learning love & life without them even realising.
I’m at The Frenchgate again today ( I love supporting my home town) and I’m going to be picture taking and sharing my moments of ‘happy’ with you on my ‘socials’ over the coming weeks. (Twitter/Instagram/FB/Snapchat.)
Hopefully I’ll see you there soon. Hopefully you’ll join the Happiness Movement with me! I’ve even selfied with a Wunna fan in a ‘Happy Zone’ by growing plants and helped a lady work the ‘Giddy as a kipper’ bubble gum machine. Lol.
It’s a campaign that gives back, gives out & shows love. It teaches you about yourself and delivers ways in which YOU can relax and be happy also. Yet at the same time, it presents quirky ways in which you can step out of YOUR every day ‘cycle,’ and create memories, fun moments and take part, with family, loved ones or friends.
(If you’re a Millennial..It’s also utterly instagrammable! Lol. 😉 It’s wonderful. Get snapping! Again…a very smart campaign that’s keeping up with the times, but with a very positive message.)
The kids and I have been reading the messages of happiness. Like I said, we’ve done the bubble gum machines. We’ve sat in the garden ‘Happy Zone,’ for relaxation. We’ve pictured on the selfie walls. We’ve seen the boxed head, happy helmets. We’ve loved the ‘love heart’ board, filled with photographs of smiles. We’ve learnt ways to BE happier…scientifically. We’ve learnt ways to spread cheeriness emotionally.
We’ve shared love. We’ve shared laughter. We’ve danced. We’ve posted our experience everywhere. We’ve done quite a lot and it’s been so much fun!
But what I love I about it all, is the fact that it seems to pop out of nowhere, just when you’re rushing about, or dashing for the elevator, or simply sitting around, hoping for a minute of relaxation. It pops out of nowhere, just when you need it. It draws you in. It’s inviting. It’s warm. It’s in the slightest of everyday spaces around the centre. It’s there to make you feel. It’s there to make you smile.
So yeah! Have a saunter. Have a go!
If you tinker through The Frenchgate, if you work there or shop there, you’ve definitely seen us. Probably seen us A LOT. We’re always welcomed and I love you for that!
If you do have a minute, a moment or just need something to kill time…I fully recommend heading down. There’s lots to do, especially through Summer. So why not shop, eat, drink…play? If you see me, feel free to stop me for a chat! People do it all the time for a moment or a selfie & it’s lovely. I share what I’m doing momentarily. So it’s easy to find me or easy to see what I’m up to for inspiration.
The campaign gets a two thumbs up and a delicious cocktail kiss from Wunna Land.
I think, ‘Sharing Your Happiness’ is a wonderful way to make memories. If you venture to The Frenchgate Centre in Doncaster. Post your pics and vids online with…
#FrenchgateShareYourHappy (tag me in them and I’ll post them on my I say story.)
Who knows, you could inspire others to do the same! Nothing feels better than that! I can assure you!
Hopefully, I’ll see you there soon. Ruby and I are headed to lunch, as Junior gets his hair cut! X
It’s been ages. I know. I’ve been busy…and well a lot has happened. I just didn’t know how to write it out because it was attached to a great deal of… ‘all at once’ emotion. There was too much to say and I couldn’t say it.
I decided not to write it out at all…because it was something I wanted to feel, deal and go through myself. It wasn’t a dramatic BIG deal. But after the first 6 months of 2019 being filled with change, ‘look at me,’ good times, success, mistrust and shock. (It was good and awkward. Haha….) I just needed time to retreat and refuel. Y’know, get mi’head around it all. Innit. 😉
I’m not a girl who moves forward without a clear, concise mind. I’m not clumsy like that. Plus, I’m not one to dwell. I’m a chipper gal. I like to embrace a silver lining and with delight in my heart, put one foot back in front of the other. I’m gangsta, like that. I’m just not someone who ever feels down because I have faith in life, myself and I just know my story ends wonderfully….somehow?
But yes, there was a shock (it kinda just popped out like a dodgy ‘Jack in a box,’) and it was sprinkled with a beeeeautiful shimmer of delusion & confusion. (For such a smart kid, I certainly learn all my life lessons much later than others…in an ‘over & over again’ fashion. It’s simply because I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m sensible, but awful when it comes to matters of the heart…and I don’t just mean dudes. I’m smart when it comes to dudes…most of the time. Lol. If you believe that, you’ll believe anything.)
Everything happens for a reason.
I smiled all the way through the ‘hoopla,’ so no-one would catch on. I do that a lot. Only 4 people knew. I liked that. It stopped me from going properly nuts. 🙂 Just so you know, the key to emotional success is to express. I’ve done it all through my life & I genuinely believe that’s why I have never gone blotto! I knew I couldn’t bottle it in…so I had to tell someone…so I did. I didn’t want it to be a big old ‘circus’ of a blog.
I WILL say that the panic button WAS hit. (Haha. I’m laughing because when I panic it’s hilarious. I never fuss or fumble..I’m kinda chill like Mr.Miyagi…in drag, after a rum and a ‘Notebook’ marathon.)
Lessons WERE learnt. The truth WAS revealed. There was a bit of secret heartache. Mild cyber stalking. A big old vent. My fingers crossed. Everything was hazy, for a wee little spit and THEN in true Wunna style…I WOKE UP!!!
(When I wake up…I’m ALWAYS POSITIVE & ALWAYS filled with excitement. I’m like dynamite..but the good kind? Is there a good kind?)
Bottom line, the word you reach for is ‘unstoppable.’
(My acting coach called me ‘unstoppable’ last night at YAFTA, when we were running through scenes. I laughed it off…but it made me feel SO flipping GOOD!! Haha.)
David: ‘You’re alright. You’ve got Chrissie and she’s unstoppable…’
Me: ‘Haha. Yup! I’m like a ball of light! Haha. Wait? Is that Little Mix?’
Back to the story…
I noticed how great I had it. How wonderful my life actually feels. How wonderful I FEEL as a person and what I now represent.
When ‘a lot happens,’ I kinda worry, breathe…then ‘take it on the chin.’ I’m fine with the rug being pulled from under me. It’s happened for decades. I grew up in Hollywood. I’m all good. I can balance in heels, with a pina colada in my hand, whilst on a speed boat if I wanted to. I’m cool. I don’t need ‘back pats’ or ‘feeling sorry’ faces because my hearts together and full. It’s filled with love and actual happiness. It glows. Watch me now! Haha.
However during the ‘panicky’ bits, I do pause and I think. I try and be as positive as I can…whilst weeping to High School Musical re-runs. I try to see the best in everything…and you shouldn’t always. It’s a good trait…yes. But i trust everyone…that’s how my Twitter got stolen, my bank account in LA got tampered with, my heart got broken so many times… Be trusting. But be smart. Don’t listen. Watch.
Mel: ‘It’s not what someone SAYS, it’s what they DO.’
TBone: ‘It’s not what someone SAYS, it’s what they do!’
I’ll tell you that I never ever stress out though. I’ve taught myself to cut away from the worry & the drama and just focus on the things that make me beam, make me happy. It’s a great trick to learn.
Luckily, ALL of those things begin with love and I have so much of it. I surrounded myself with family. (We’re So close. They delivery stability & truth.) My babies. (They’re my world. I’m so proud of them. They fill my heart with utter joy. They give me a purpose. They’re my number one purpose.) Then my career…I’m acting & I’m loving it. I’m studying at YAFTA. It’s my true passion and it’s just been amazing. It’s made me feel alive again. It changed everything. I needed to feel that whole hearted soft landing. That thing that filled a void and got be back on the straight and narrow. I’ve found it thanks to Charlotte at YAFTA.
I feel so lucky. You don’t even know.
So yeah…I’ve posted this blog as a restart because i’ll be able to post daily from now on.
I just needed to cut the cyber air.
This is a new chapter…and you’re in it!
Work is phenomenal. Life is bliss. I’m in a brand new world. I’m being ME!. I’m busy as bonkers. Everything feels great. I feel sooooooo grateful.
Ruby and Junior have been broken up from school. They broke up ages ago and if you’ve been following our ‘socials’ you will know that we’ve been up to soooo soooo much, as a family. I’m loving it. I never take the time I have with my kids for granted. Through the Summer they’re with me 24/7 and so far, it’s been wonderful.
I’m working a lot and they’re getting to come along, which they love. We’re not the kinda family to chill and home and do nothing.
We’re one week into Summer and we have ALREADY done an incredible amount! It’s bliss!
Over the next few blogs…I’m gonna show you what we’ve been up to as a family.
Morning my lovelies! I hope you all have the most beautiful day. Some of you will have great days. Others just normal. (Never underestimate ‘normal,’ I’d take normal over foolishly stressful, rum dripped palava, any day Lol.) But some will see their day as shocking. Yet no matter what, I promise you there’s always a positive…Even if the silver lining is under 22 bundles of yesteryear’s issues, a couple toy boys from 2004, covered in dust & sprinkled with drama or insecurity. Haha.
It’s there. You’ve just got to be able to see it. When you can..(and I swear it’s a talent…) you’re actually more powerful than you think.
I had a stressy day yesterday, because I let everything get on top of me and I let people (not get on top of me…haha,) but fiddle with my ‘happy place.’ (GOD!!! Haha. Why is everything sounding so ‘ooh er?’)
Try not to let those who aren’t worthy of ‘happy place’ fiddling, get to you. It’s kinda not their fault. They’re just doing their own version of life, accidentally making theirs cross with yours and maybe even struggling.
They have their own issues to deal with…It’s not YOUR problem ever. Don’t take it on. Be kind to those who are kind to you. Respect those who show you respect. I try and show love always. (Not in a saucy ‘Arabian Nights,’ Carry On film, kinda way. Just with a smile as I walk past you. A compliment where due and absolute appreciation for those who show me love back.)
But Thank you for all your messages. Nothing is going unnoticed. I’m all good. I’m just tired and hormonal. Y’know, crying at adverts about puppies and shit. Haha.
I had a really great emergency chat with a good friend of mine ‘Big A’ who owns ‘House of Solo’ Magazine.
Me: ‘Can you stop working out and meet me please. I’m stressed…lol.’
Big A: ‘I’m coming now. Haha.’
We both have busy lives and dramatic lives. We’ve been friends for years. He knows me well..So it’s great to just vent everything out. I didn’t need advice. I just needed to tell my story and have someone to listen to it. Y’know, ramble on. I’d only had 3hours sleep..I don’t even know how I managed to merrily totter through the day. (But thanks for ya ears dude. They must be aching.)
Do note that I didn’t ‘Tyson’ them off, I simply yakkered at them non-stop for a good couple hours. Technically, the sound of my graceful voice tone…is worse than being ‘Tysoned.’ Hahahaha.
Y’know, I’m currently sat in my car, in a Co-op car park, in Ackworth, blogging this on my phone, because a ginormous green lorry has trapped me in my spot, so I can’t reverse out or leave. Lol.
Why do things like this happen to me???
It’s sunny. It’s lovely. There are places I could go & walk to. But I just wanted alone time, so I chose to be the ‘social butterfly’ that I am and CLOSE myself off, AWAY from being bothered by any other human beings. Haha.
I’ve made some really huge decisions. Big changes. I’m happy with them and I’m committed to them…as always. Lol. I’m all or nothing. It’s been both good and shit. Haha.
My Twitter’s back to being ME again. The dude that stole my account and impersonated me unfollowed all my actual friends and followed a bunch of weirdos and porn. I don’t want to wake up and watch people putting ‘things,’ in places that don’t need to be on my feed EVER!! (Haha) let alone at 7am. I’m not judging…But it’s more of a 8am thing for me. Lol.
So yeah clearing up the cyber hell hole that he left for me, has been delightful. I’m grateful I have it back though. So who’s complaining!?!
Plus…Here’s the silver lining…Dove Cameron (who I FAN Girl like crazy because I truly believe she is one of the most phenomenal talents & beautiful performers) Tweeted me back…
…and that ALONE made my night! It kinda also made Ruby and Junior’s night…because they now think Mummy knows ‘Mal’ off Descendants. I went with it. They looked too excited. Haha. It was cute. Who am I to shatter dreams!?!
This week is actually pretty busy. It’s a juggle. But I’m loving it. Works great. Celebrating the last week of school with the kids is just amazing. Things have been tough, but made for it.
Everyone’s commenting on the fact that my ‘socials’ are looking a little less saucy. Everyone’s asking me if it’s deliberate…and I’m gonna say ‘Yup.’
Now…In July 2019…where in which everything’s changed for me. I’ve changed. A lot! (I can’t believe how much has happened to be in the first 6 months of this year. I’ve experienced so many things, good AND bad that I never thought would happen in my lifetime.)
I have a new career direction. I’m older. I’m wiser. I’m stable. I’m still fun but I just want to make sure that i use my voice correctly. I want to make sure that I inspire, the way I always hoped to inspire. I want it to be positive and eventually graceful, with a dust of cheek.
I want to stay true to who I really am and I want my kids…my mum to be even MORE proud of me. (They already are ofcourse, but I just want to make sure do everything correctly from now on. The way I want to.)
I’ve learnt everything the hard way, haven’t I? I don’t want to say, but I did look at a girl I know personally. She’s in the moderate limelight, she’s American and she’s doing everything she can for an insta like, love, money. Obviously she can do what she wants, yet I don’t think she’s doing it correctly, in regards to what she truly hoped to achieve
She has everyone disrespecting her and hating on her left, right and centre because she’s brash. Kinda like ‘The Pricey’ was in her hey day. I understand she has a lot pain in her heart. I understand her game.
I never wanna be that girl. I never want to play that game.
I’m happy. I’m whole. I’m banter. But I’m warm. I’m nice. I’m thoughtful. I want to radiate that. (When i say things that lower the tone, I usually say it for a laugh. Sometimes people don’t laugh..(haha…) and it all looks and feels really awkward. Lol)
Eg: There’s a school mums WhatsApp group and Ms.Murphy said something about golden booty pants…that made me say that I wasn’t gonna wear pants… whilst roller booting, which made everything really awkward for a moment. Haha. They’re not stupid enough to say things like that! Lol.
But Yes! I have a new fresh focus, a glint in my eye… You’re gonna see a different side to me.
That doesn’t mean I’m gonna wear gingham dresses and sing The Lords Prayer every two seconds. It simply means…
Caroline Flack: ‘Sometimes you want to post something inspirational. Other times you just want to post a beer that’s the size of ya head! Haha.’
I’m just gonna be me. The clothes are going back on. It’ll probs still be ‘sexy,’ yet without it being ‘slutty.’ It’ll hopefully still fun. Hopefully ‘beautiful’ on occasion. I’ve out grown public ‘slutty’ and don’t crave that kind of attention. (I actually never craved that kind of attention this time around. I did when I was younger. But not this time around. I saw it as an opportunity to make money. However right now, money isn’t everything to me. I’m doing well anyway, innit.)
So Dear Chicks! I will say I’m gonna need ya support because obviously I have a fanbase of MALES who are rather perky at the sight of me in my undies. When I’m not…they’ll flitter.
The correct audience will hopefully THEN find it’s way to me…and it’ll be all new and lovely. Yet the transition is gonna mess with my ego. So I need to know that you’re there!! Haha.
Wow. It’s is the busiest time in Wunna land! If a bee could slip on heels and be even BUSIER, without the honey dripped treats…it would be me. Yet, I’m excited. I’m loving it. Once again…everything is changing…Once again, for the better!
No matter what happens to me in life, I always hold onto the ‘good things happen to good people’ phrase. (It’s better than holding onto a vodka.) I might be loving. I might be a bit talented. But THAT (the good things/good people thing) is something that no-one can take away from me…or anyone. That alone makes me feel powerful. That alone is what the karma GODS notice. That alone adds to any successful wish, that you ask the Genie to grant.
I’m who I want to be. I’m exactly where I’m meant to be…and it feels like I’m just getting started.
Okay. Away from all that. Am I walking around with a ‘Treat me like a douche’ Post IT, glued to my forehead? Haha.
Yes. I’ve been going through a lot. Yes. I’ve been working. The new acting thing is amazing. It’s filled my heart with an unbelievable glow of happiness. I feel so lucky to blink and find myself where I am right now. I feel so lucky to be given the opportunity to make my dreams come true.
I’m taking the acting really seriously. It’s the only thing work wise now, that I actually want to do. And you’ve got to hold onto the things that make you happy. I don’t mean the ‘flash in the pan’ kinda happy. That kinda happy lacks substance. I mean the real kind that lasts forever. That’s the kinda happy that every human searches to find.
It’s my passion. It’s my joy. Yet I love that it has nothing to do with the way someone LOOKS and it’s all about how someone performs & tells a story…It’s about what they DO. It’s not filled with cheap tricks, the best eye makeup, who your dating, or a craving for Insta likes.
It’s mature. It’s sophisticated. It’s beautiful…It’s filled with soul and real life.
But anyway…yes. Before 7am. I’d already pissed off two humans, that were in different countries. Lol. One of them I intended to piss off. The other I didn’t. However, it’s pretty good going. I got blanked and told off. Haha.
If you’ve been following my socials, you’ll notice that I’ve been doing a lot with Ruby & Junior. We’ve shopped, played, picked strawberries, fed swans at the park, done play areas, watched shows. We’ve dined at Gino’s, The Ivy, Clam & Cork, Ego, Issho…you name it. The kids and I have loved family time. They make me so happy!
I mean yesterday we did Farmer Copley’s because who doesn’t love a family farm festival, with a Prosecco bar. (Only I can successfully do a farm in heels, booty shorts and with a Prosecco in my hand.) Seeing Ruby & Junior beam was worth getting stung by nettles in a strawberry picking patch!
Me: ‘FFS!!! Haha. Aaaaargh! Who knew picking strawberries would be so tedious!! I thought it would be fairytale!’
But anyway…what I’m saying is…I’ve had a wonderfully fulfilling time. I’ve been so happy. So ofcourse, people have to ruin it all. Lol.
I’ve had Pete (Ruby’s dad) have a go at me. Keiran (Juniors Dad, put me through stress.) DBear told me off this morning and then last night I found something out about ‘TBONE,’ which I expected, yet it disappointed me, on a friendship level because I used to really respect him.
I don’t respect him anymore. The first time I stood up for him. This time (and because he previously affected my life) I haven’t. He doesn’t deserve Wunna Land back up because I’m not sure if he’s a good person. I question that now. (Especially because I know both parties involved.)
The good thing about me is that i’ll always be dandy. You know…always be okay. Even if I’m not…no-one would ever know. I might tell one person, but that’s about it.
However I feel lucky because I have the most wonderful friendships. An army of true support, who know matter what are always there for me.
There’s a lot going on right now. I will tell you that and I’m about to canon I to the busiest week ever! It’s filled with madness.
But I’m gonna do what I do best and that’s love my babies and work really hard. The drama dancing around me doesn’t matter. I’ll let it dance all it wants….as I stay focused on what matters to me.