Omg. Life is so wonderful, it’s ‘Wunnaful.’ It’s so Wunnaful, (which is the simple art of a situation surpassing the wonder of wonderful,) that i’m almost trying to second guess myself, like it can’t even be real…
Good things do usually happen to me. I know that. Good things happen to good people…I believe that with all my heart. Yet GREAT things hardly ever happy to me…or people… However, GREAT things and I… right now, are buddies. I can now scan my surroundings and just see happiness and wonder everywhere.
And in my world..happiness, is the art of ‘all you ever wanted.’
I’ve decided i must’ve had a much harder life than I originally thought, because why would I second guess happiness, like i’m not allowed to be more than content? Haha. (I smell issues. Lol.)
But my career is heading in the right direction. I’m doing well right now. The Wunna’s are still alive and solid. My children are at their most confident and not only am I in love, but i’m at my most stable. My most ‘together…’ and that took a long ass time.
So yeah, i’m gonna tell you that i’m happy. I’m really happy. If i’m being honest, I expected the career to do well, I ‘ve worked hard enough for it. I expected the babies (@rubyandjunior) to always feel whole and special. They’re surrounded by love. I expected The Wunna’s (my Mum, My Dad, my Brother…) to always be close…I didn’t expect my love life to develop the way that it has.
I’m so filled with love…and when i’m in love i’m alive. It came out of nowhere and it took me by surprise. But I guess, the way I feel about him, as time has steadily paced, has not only confirmed that i’m a romantic, he’s great and that i’m never afraid of anything. Yet it’s also kinda shown me that after every thing that i’ve been through, i’m strong because even today, I can still look at a man, with a warm, open heart and love him so madly…regardless to my own history.
To me…that’s strength. I’m a girl who puts the positive before the negative. My parents taught me that.
I’ve been all over the UK, working. I’ve shot, I’ve filmed and all my the free time i’ve had i’ve been with the family, the babies and my boo.
Y’know when you just feel like something amazing is going to happen to you…yet you don’t quite know what…but something.
That is me right now.
There’s a buzz in the air in Wunna Land. Ruby, Junior and I can feel it.
Ruby: ‘Mum, you look so happy. You’ve BEEN so happy. Why are you so scared to fall in love?’
Me: ‘I’m not. That’s the problem. I’ll give you some advice…Sometimes you might care about someone.. and they don’t care for you, as much as you care for them…but you hope they do. Yet one day you’ll find someone who really does love you…and that can be scary, if you’ve had a rubbish time.’
Ruby: ‘You told me never to be scared. Especially when something makes you so happy.’
And in a single moment, my 8 year old daughter, taught my OWN LESSON, right back at me. She even know how inspiring she is. (Tonight she’s on a dinner date with one of the boys at her school…and she’s so excited.)
So if I could tell you anything today, it would be to never create doubt, over nothing, just because fear has seeped in, because really when everything is just perfect.