It’s literally the happiest time, right now. Even the bad bits are sponged over with ‘ah wells’ and ‘who cares,’ because the happy parts are so filed with joy that they are over shining and over powering any of the ‘h’jeebies.’
I’m lucky..and I know I always say that. But this is the first time in a long time, I ACTUALLY feel lucky, because my heart is at peace.
Good things happen to good people. Good people find each other in the end, right?
I’ve always had faith in life.
But I will say that this is the first time in my life, that i’m actually going to ‘THANK’ Cupid. (The little geezer in a diaper, did good.)
He shot his arrow and aimed pretty well.
And yeah everyone’s asking away and acting a little alarmed, a little ‘who, what where?’ But that’s because I haven’t told anyone about anything, because I didn’t need to…and that’s probably why it’s going so well. (If I did, everyone would just jump on board and start judging with ferocious ‘think they know everything’ drama sticks. Sticks are always dodgy.)
On the whole, I don’t like judgey people because i’m someone who is ALWAYS judged, by those who do not know me personally. I’ve even had people USE the fact, that they’d KNOW i’d be wrongly judged…to make themselves look ‘squeaky clean.’ (That kinda hurts my feelings.)
But the main reason why I dislike it, is because i’m pretty well mannered, meaning I would never EVER judge someone else. I’m winning the war right now and i’m really grateful for all the love you’re sending my way. Especially because i’ve been fighting for the rights of other people, in conjunction with both Glamour Magazine AND Hello Magazine. (I love their ‘Hello to Kindness’ campaign. It’s such a beautiful idea.)
Anyway, on the relationship front…I’m really happy. He’s a beautiful human. He’s kind. He’s respectful. He’s supportive. He’s loving. He’s smart. He’s sexy. But he’s certainly not a pushover.
It’s all pure, real and magical…and i’m loving it.
I’m filled to the brim with a giddy excitement and a gentle sway of ‘ooh laa,’ as life has just come together. Away from my love life, my babies Ruby & Junior, are beaming at their most confident, right now. Ruby is going from strength to strength emotionally & Junior is smashing school. (We’ve been going through a rocky climb with one of their fathers and it’s been really unpleasant. But they’re champions and I’m so proud of them.)
Ruby: ‘Mum. Thank you for always keeping us together. I love you.’
Me: ‘I haven’t done anything. I just supported you both and I’m so proud of you for standing by each other and for what you believe is right.’
My work life has kinda welcomed me back with the warmest open arms. I feel really lucky. I’m loving every single minute. I can’t even believe that i’m nearly 40 (well 38) and still getting my ‘pose on’ in a bikini. I’m grateful for the love. I’m grateful for every breath I take, without putting my back out. Haha.
Talking about the pics. The ones that my favourite Geordie photog @fleekfotography took..I just want to thank you ALL, for the mad ‘social’ love i’m receiving! He honestly smashed it. I mean, I don’t think another photographer has shot me as well, as Chris did, that day. My comments, my DM’s…my everything and above, have gone wild.
But he’s just so much fun and my new gay bestie. As soon as I strutted into The Briggate Boutique (which is the cutest, customised hotel, right by Call Lane…)
Me: ‘I’m in Room 8. I have a shoot there.’
Reception: ‘Oh sure! Go straight up.’
..and I peeked my head around the door, whilst looking up to him, over a sassy looking indoor fire escape… his cheeky little face, said it all. I knew we were going to shoot well. The room was filled with a cheery, wittiness…We just got on with it and shot, as I stood around half naked and he screwed things in giant lights.
Me: ‘OMG. You even have the cutest garden on your terrace.’
Chris: ‘Haha. I know. It’s funny.’
Me: ‘Wait. I need a wee…don’t listen.’
(I’m sat on the loo, by a saucily light shower cubicle, in my undies, singing at the top of my voice, so he couldn’t hear me wee…as he set up the next shot. Haha.)
You know you’ve shot well, when you’ve taken more pictures than you thought? (‘We’ve literally done hundreds more!!!) Then just like that, after we’d both done our jobs…We got changed, got sorted and just assumed the other person was obviously now going cocktail. (Haha.)
We didn’t even mention it, we just sort of started walking out the hotel together and towards 2 for 1 Cocktails, at The Slug & Lettuce, next door to Ginos. Within 10 mins, we had Porn Star Martinis and Long Island Iced Teas…in each hand, like we’d been sat there all night.
Then Brad (@brad_quinnn ) showed up, with tattoos on his face, a shirt that read ‘Cross my heart and hope to die,’ after a gym work out, getting lost and an Epsom salt bath.
Brad: ‘Feel me. I’m dry as fuck.’
Me: ‘I don’t want to feel ya!’
Chris: ‘He says he’s here. But he’s not…cos we’re here??’
Me: ‘Shall we find him?’
Brad: ‘No more than 2mls. I’m telling ya.’
Me: ‘Just because you’re fit now…doesn’t mean you should be a…’
He found us. He was shooting next. But we kinda had an accidental cocktail interlude before that shoot. We pretty much persuaded him to drink…
Brad: ‘You can force me to buy a drink then neither of you want one!!!’
Chris: ‘I’ll have a vodka coke.’
Then after banter, (‘I love how you started giving Brad relationship tips over cocktails.) We pretty much started talks about sex, life, dates, love, lip fillers, blow jobs, Geordie shore, photoshoots, Sam Reece and messages to friends, during ‘I wasn’t ready’ pics.
Life was great! I might have swore a little more than necessary. But, I was in safe company. I loved the boys. However, Mama Wunna, had to round the troops up and get them on their way, as I tinkered back on the train home and hugged them both a ‘merry shoot.’
The pics from that day were INSANE…and it’s because we all got on so well. Success is never just based on what you do, or what you achieve…as the best result come from the relationships you make along the way.
I sound like Buddha!
Godda Go. (I’m actually filming right now and they’ve let me have fifteen mins out, to quickly write this to post.)
Love you always,