Love, Life, Stress & Booze UPs

Hi, my little tinsel wrapped Chucky eggs! I’m writing this on my phone with my thumbs, after refusing a morning Guinness, to instead turn on the fairy lights and allow in a little merriment, in my own way. (You’re gonna have to bare with me. I’m shit with thumb tappering. You can’t even sip your pina colada.)

I’ve had SUCH a busy time, following the First Dates thing. I’ve kinda had no rest! Mainly because I’ve had a whole bunch of other stuff lined up..that I’ve had to smash, get in the can, shoot, write, learn, influence, visit or read…and all before Christmas!

I’ve been on every train. I’ve lost both sets of car keys. I’ve won. I’ve lost. I’ve been hit on no end. However, by boys who don’t wanna take me on an actual date..They just wanna ‘bone’ me like I’m a prize…not like I’m human.

But it doesn’t bother me, cos I know exactly what I’m looking for…Boys can’t mess with me. Plus every time some guy, tries to fly in with a boner…who has no intention of anything more, but the merry art of ‘boning’..it’s reconfirms the ‘what I need’ more and more. It does this by showing me what I don’t need….with gin bells on.

That alone makes me happy. I don’t sell myself short  anymore. I’m grown! Being all wise, makes me feel sexy!

Pats in the back for me!!

I’m loving meeting you all. It’s been great to have met so many of you, who have been filled with ‘First Dates’ love for me. It’s weird because it was only a little date in the telly. But I’ve just had so much love from so many people…in bars, in shopping centres, down wine isles, in playgrounds, all over! I’ve had hugs, love and every human, being human. Y’know sending me blessings for the future..because Cupid is a bastard. 😂

I have time for absolutely everyone. So it makes me really happy, when you stop me for a banter or a selfie. So many people still believe in true love!

Being a romantic! I love that, with all my heart!

I’ve felt lost through the whole of last week. Ruby, Junior and I, ALL have! I’ve been filled with a  jolly jiggle on absolute anxiety! It’s been stressful. The kids have been my world through it. I mean little Ruby even read me poems before bed, so I’d sleep.

Chick friend: ‘You kinda have this way of acting like you’re over the moon and fine, when you’re scared or nervous.’

Very true! I’m a pro at it. I have the heart of a true entertainer! Lol

My mum, who’s my life line, tinkered on holiday for 2 weeks. (How Dare She!!) And the timing of it was shit. Y’see whenever a bit of ‘look at me’ occurs, in my life & I’m dipped in a 5 second ‘light of lime,’ I always need her more than ever. I need her more than ever!!

But she was GONE!!

It was good for me though, because you can’t  live in a comfort zone. I’ve got quite good at having the rug pulled, yet still being able to stand and sip my wine!

Now, i’m an independent girl, aren’t I! I’ve travelled the world, with work, on my own since being 19, to dream chase! I was juicy! I still am! But as I’m growing older, my priorities have changed…I’m a sassy bit of ‘family girl’ now. I’m happy, when I’m around the people who I love…because they too care about me the most!

They protect me.. My world is filled with love!

Mum: ‘Chrissie, you can’t be in entertainment and get anxious when people stop, to be lovely to you..It’s your job. They’re supporting you! They want a pic because they’ve loved watching you do, you’re do. Don’t be frightened.’

Me: ‘I’m not frightened. I love it. I love THEM! I do all that well. Sometimes it makes me feel more insecure?’

I guess, when you gave the mist around you, it’s wonderful. However after a bit, it  starts to ‘Circus’ a little…(in fact, it’s not always wonderful, because cyberland will sometimes hate on me. Haha!)

When it starts to ‘Circus,’ that’s when I need my Mama!

Mum: ‘I love you. But you need to rely on your own strength. You need to feel rocky to get strong. When you were a little girl, you were filled with this irrepressible STRENGTH. Now that life has bashed you about a bit..you rely on me or shut away & you can’t, because I’m not gonna be here forever!’

Anyway…

I’ve just got back from London! I had a shoot, 2 meetings and I then did drinks at the Great Northern Bar.

It was cold and chucking it down. But inside where the wine was flowing..it was warm! It was cosy!

Bartender: ‘You’re an attractive girl! Where are you headed tonight?’

Me: ‘I’m just doing life… 😉 I need a large white wine please…with ice in.’

Then after phone calls I was greeted by the most beautiful girl named Lexie and her gay friend from Manchester! (Who didnt sound northern at all!) They were great. So much fun! We did First Date selfies and basically got trashed.

Then these dudes from East London (who’d been trying to get our attention via the fine art of dance routines, under chandeliers) joined us…They were In Christmas jumpers, cheeky and wild! The manager kept having to come over and tell us all to ‘keep the noise down.’

It all went a bit mental then!

Every single person strutting up to the bar had just watched my episode of ‘First Dates!’ It was so strange but ace?? So many people love the show. It felt great!

Then the cheeky East London boys (who ALL had wives and girlfriends…) decided to take a shot at trying to see if they could get me to have sex with them.

Rolls Eyes!

This is my life!

Sometimes I think that maybe I’m just made for ‘entertainment’ and not real life true love.

Why can’t I have real life true love??

Me: ‘No thanks. You need to be thinking about your girlfriend mate!’

Staff: ‘Are you alright, Chrissie?’

Guy: ‘You only live once. My mum passed away. It taught me that! I’ve got a girlfriend, yeah. But I’m obviously not gonna miss out on an opportunity to be with you! If you want that!  You’re beautiful!’

Me: ‘What!!! No thanks. Your girlfriends beautiful. You should call her!’

Everyone was just getting glamourously Christmas drunk! But you need a blow out at times, don’t you!

I ended up puking! Sleeping in my dress. Waking up in my hotel feeling awful, with an untouched Macdonalds by my side…

It took me 3 hours to get out of bed..but as soon as I did..I walked to Kings Cross station, feeling the most hungover I’ve ever felt in my entire life…

I could’ve died. Nothing is worse than being at a train station…waiting…when rough! Plus, I was in heels because I forgot to pack flats. Plus, I had to through my extensions in the bin because they had sick on. Lol

Then fucking Liam calls me (who was currently filming a tv show) with a…

’I need a favour…’

So in my most hungover state at kings cross..I end up having to do his show!!

It was so much fun! But I couldn’t wait to get back to the babies!

An hour and a half later… I was thankfully back on northern soil!!

 

 

 

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