Happy Tuesday! It’s just a gorgeous day today, isn’t it! Well, it is in Yorkshire. I’m don’t know where you are? Lol. But I hope it’s wonderful and I hope life’s treating you really well. I mean, as humans, we can go through some really GREAT TIMES, can’t we? Times where we’re filled with a rush of uncontrollable excitement. Those great times are balanced out, by tiny sprinkles of shit, the hard times, that we either REALLY TRULY heal from… or simply ‘wall paper‘ over.
How have I got this deep, so fast?
However, what i’ve learnt in my 37 years, so far…and it never mattered if I was in heels or flats, with a cocktail or a coffee, thin or fat, in LA or the UK 😉 IS THAT it’s THOSE of us, who can not ONLY get back up, EVERY SINGLE TIME we fall. Be it in work. Be it in love. They ALL play into one big pot, that we called ‘life.’
I mean, you hear people going on about how they ‘get back up each time‘…blah, blah, blah. We’re human, we all go through the same things. Tell the same lies. Share the same laughter.
(I mean, I shared laughter with good friends over wine yesterday afternoon, then lied to a random guy, I didn’t know, who’d approached me in a pub, with his number written on piece of paper, asking to date me and seeing if he could take me to London this weekend, to his friend’s birthday party? I didn’t fancy him. I didn’t want to date him. I admired his ballsiness…But I lied and said I was going to a Hen do and wasn’t looking to date. I lied out of politeness, because I didn’t want him to feel bad, when he had plucked up the gusto, to go out of his way and approach me.)
Kate: ‘You’re going to call him…April 1st of…NEVER, aren’t you?’
JD: ‘OMG! What a good time to call him! Call him on April Fools Day… before noon.’
Me: ‘Ew! Shush. Hahaha. Why do I have friends who are such BASTARDS? No. I’m not gonna call him. He knows that…But it was…’
Kate: ‘I hope you’re not referring to me, when you say bastard?’
Anyway, back to my chat, when it comes to ‘getting back up’ IT IS ONLY THOSE OF US, who can manage to do it with an open heart, no more fear, a true warmth and the ability to *carry on* in one whole, but HAPPY PIECE, that are STRONG… the ACTUAL life warriors.
The ones that ‘carry on’ a bit broken, aren’t strutting right.
People sometimes get that twisted. I mean, if you simply ‘paper over the cracks’ then you’re not MARCHING forward at all, you’re dwelling on something that’s done..and you can never move forward at that point. You’re kinda stuck. And, let’s face it, who likes being (in the words of Zara…) ‘sticky and vile.‘ 🙂
Winners find solutions to everything. They do it calmly, without stress. The hustlers work hard to get what they want, stressfully…via ‘the grind.’ The confident ones…have honed their skills so well, that they have the ability to feel the hurty bits, yet still develop, and get back to ‘happy’ quickly, because the not only have faith in life, but they have faith in themselves.
Call me Oprah!
The only reason why i’m going on about this today, was because I was chatting to a friend of mine yesterday, called ‘JD,’ who had said that they had had their heart broken THREE TIMES and two of those times REALLY HURT.
They hurt so much, a BIG OLD WALL OF FEAR...because that’s all it’s made up of…(People like to say, it’s a wall of protection, but that’s simply a good way of glamorizing it, so it sounds moderately mighty. Hahaha. It’s really just fear. You’re a scaredy cat. Deal with it.)
Anyway, this is what happened…
JD: ‘I literally haven’t dated in years. I can’t do it. My hearts closed. But I want to find love.’
Me: ‘Well, obviously you’re never going to find love, if your hearts closed, you idiot. Love is an emotional connection. Where two hearts NEED to connect emotionally, in order to FEEL love.’
JD: ‘Yeah. I know, but it’s awful. It’s scary..’
Me: ‘God. Don’t be daft. I’ve been through three marriages and tons of relationships. I got married so many times because I believed in love. And I still do, even though NONE OF THEM worked out. I’m not scared to be hurt. I heal quickly and I’m SO filled to the brim with love, that I find it easy to adore someone. Really easy.’ I love, being in Love. ‘
It’s not hard. It’s simple. Ain’t no one coming through the door, if it’s shut. Lol.
Just so you know. My doors FULLY OPEN. 😉
So, if you suffer from the same old ‘JD’ dilema, sort it out, because in this world, where people are deluded by fame and money, or drenched in fear. All the things that don’t mean shit through life….you’ll end you having nothing.
Love and happiness go hand in hand, because they’re both build around positive emotion and not ‘stuff’ or terror. Lol. You won’t have experienced the fullest life by ANY means, if you never ever surrender to the *swirl,* or the magic, of love. To me, it’s the ONLY THING…that makes the world go around.
(Says the single 37 year old. 😉 )
And that’s the truth, as even though i’m someone who is always pre judged…ALWAYS. Which is nuts, but I get it…and yeah, i’ll admit that I’ve found it hard to date. I mean, a guy can meet me, then go straight onto my blog, (and I do like it when they read the blog,….I do!)
However, I don’t like it when they read about my entire life for the past 10 years, only to JUDGE me for it (Hahahah) because I would never dream of judging them on THEIR SECRETS, let alone the things they were actually open about. I’m sassy, but you kinda have to get to know me personally to ‘feel’ the correct presence.
I’m light. I’m warm. I’m fun. I’m banter.
And yeah, I do have the type of career that is immersed around people who want fame, money and all sorts…When I was a young 20 year old in Hollywood, I wanted the exact same thing. I sold myself short, many a times for it. And I don’t regret that. I love show business. I love it with all of my heart. I absolutely STILL want to do well…
But when I was 20 something I was really selfish and I never cared about inspiring. Now, everything’s different…because I got to experience everything, that I ever dreamt of experiencing….Therefore now BOTH Inspiring people and having recognition for doing something that I love, makes me smile. It’s actually really important to me. Even if I ‘humour’ it out.
I guess, the 37 year old version of me, is someone who can still enjoy it all, yet at the same time have a really great grasp of life in general, MY life, separate the world of ‘show,’ from the ‘real world’ and pretty much hold my own stance morally. I’m really comfortable with who I am and what I represent. Much more comfortable than some of the people that you will BELIEVE are comfy.
I’m in this industry simply because I LOVE to entertain, whether i’m on a show, writing out my life, acting, modelling, or being ‘social,’… whatever….Just in general just LOVE being an entertainer…a court jester. It’s fun. It’s a buzz to me and it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, since being a little girl. So, to me, i’ve had all my dreams come true! I’ve even managed babies and have a couple of loving parents…What’s left for me to do, other than the thing that I can’t seem to conquer…and that’s my LOVE LIFE!
What have I rambled on about now? I’m meant to be telling you about my friend’s shit love life and Mel’s birthday drinks!
I’ll have to tell you it all, in the next blog.
But what I can say right now…is to all of you who have found yourselves accidentally or deliberately *scrolling* or *clicking* on a piece of me, that lead you right here…in Wunna Land…I thank you SO much. I truly do. I kinda turned my life into a business and I couldn’t have done that without YOU.
I don’t know people read this blog? BUT I’M FUCKING GLAD THEY DO!
Billions of people are doing life every SINGLE second, of every SINGLE day…this is just MY version of it.
Don’t paper over the cracks. Be you. Embrace everything that’s WONDERFUL about you. Give no hoots about those who don’t agree with the way you strut your swag. LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE. But most of all… don’t be frightened of anything….