My Airport Jiggle to a Sassy Spanish Getaway

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Whatsapp Msg: ‘Morning!’

‘Morning!’

So on April 5th at exactly 4am, my alarm went off, my *wake up* call shimmied and I started getting ready, glamming up, sorting the last bits of packing, wishing that I had a morning mimosa and that was before I kissed the babies, whilst they were still asleep and dashed out the door, with only two pieces of hand luggage ( I always travel light, I’m not a ‘take the pope and the kitchen sink’ kinda gal.) My driver pulled up, greeted me like he was the perkiest, most stylish human ON EARTH to ever do 4am…and with a…

‘It’s lovely to meet you…Let me take your bags…’

I stepped into his ‘RS’ and we travelled to Leeds/Bradford airport, so I could get my pretty arse on that flight to Spain.

Wooooooooohoooo!

(I don’t know why i’m shouting ‘Wooohooo’ because I pretty much had a panic attack and got super nervous, the evening before for no real reason, other than being a girl. Yipppeee.)

So, for my airport runs, I used Pit Stop Rentals. (You can search them on INSTAGRAM.) They’re a prestigious, super car, chauffeuring company, who pretty much make sure you get to your destination stylishly, in good time and whilst catering that time to your needs.

I’m a service girl. You all know that from this blog. You can be 2 Star or 5 Star brand, if the service is poor….I’ll never use that company again…and I guess,  it’s is scary territory for some, as they’re very aware that I write a blog. 🙂 But always great for me, because I mostly get treated deliciously. Lol

We chatted all the way to the airport, as the dawn turned to day. Clear roads. Easy run. Not traffic. Just bliss. I love travelling at that time. We laughed, We joked. He asked me about my career. Why I was headed to Spain? He gave me really good life tips! And it was great because he settled my nerves and not only made me feel really comfy, yet also kinda made me feel extra confident and somewhat powerful. I needed that.

So, i’ll give them MEGA POINTS for service. It was literally like an airport run with ya best friend AND therapy IN ONE…and you know what I’m like, I’ll chat to anyone, about anything….He did great to put up with my ‘extremely glammy’ 😉  shit.

As soon as we pulled up…my driver then let me take a gzillion selfies, and let me Snapchat and Insta story my entire journey t….as he turned up the tunes and enjoyed the show! Lol

Driver: ‘Make sure you get chair in! Aw! As if you accidentally deleted the best one.’

Me: ‘I know, I hit the wrong thing.. Are you going in it?’

Driver: ‘Nooo. I don’t have my sunglasses. I’ve been up since 4am.’

Me: ‘Yeah, but you don’t look like shit. You’re hot!’

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By this time, everyone in the car park was glaring at us, so I made the executive decision to quit being a twat and just get myself into the airport. 🙂 There’s no shame in my game. I’m a ‘You only live once, so make your story worth it’ piece of chicken. If you want to watch…WATCH. It’s only when you scowl and watch that makes me think you’re ‘judgey.’

Now, when i’m chatting service…My Pitstop Rentals Driver, not only grabbed my bags out the boot for me, BUT also carried them all the way into the airport, through the airport, (I had already ‘checked in online‘ with my Jet2.com app,) he helped me avoid the queues, by chatting to the Jet2 representatives for me, and then sat me down, in a cafe, (because I was super early for my fight ,) and BOUGHT ME a large coffee and a muffin! Lol.

Is that like the best service on EARTH or what???

Then we started just chatting in general about life. He aske me about my world, my love life, my job.

‘You’re the luckiest girl in the world. I would love to have woken up this moment, and be jetting off on a Spanish getaway for a couple days for… And to have had a career young, where you just casually moved to Hollywood to be a model… Lol.’

I asked HIM about his life and found out that he enjoys all things ‘bouji’ and that he DOESN’T TRAVEL LIGHT.

Me: ‘I always travel light, because I have non working arms and if I need to get away fast, I can. Lol’

Driver: ‘That’s a good idea… I don’t know why i’m agreeing, I DON’T actually ever travel light ever. I’m like a chick. I had a 2 night stay in a hotel, took everything in the world, filled a car, took 4 changes of shoes, my slippers, dressing gown, 2 tracksuits, 4 shirts… 3 pairs of jeans….Two wedding outfits….Lol’

It was like the GQ version of ‘The Hungry Caterpillar,’ the part where he just stuffs everything in his belly.

Yet, I enjoyed that could say the word ‘bouji’ and he totally got what I meant, without question, as sometimes people look at me like i’m speaking a whole different language. And I know when people are just pretending to understand what I’m saying to them. 😉 He wasn’t.

Time flew…and before you know it, we headed to Security, to get through the the Boarding gates. Just so I didn’t have to wait…he paid for me to FAST TRACK through , because the lines looked so horrific…and

OH MY GOD! IT WAS A GOO JOB HE THOUGHT OF THAT!

(At that point he left me to my own devices….as I scheduled in my return pick up…)

‘Thank you so much, I really appreciate everything. I’m back on Saturday at 7pm.’

‘It’s been a pleasure thank you. See you then!’

So, I fast track through to security…and from that point it all goes *TITS UP.*

I get to the security, plonk all my stuff in the trays…that goes through to be examined…

There’s things in my luggage that i’m not allowed to take on the plane, so that get’s put to one side, to be opened up and looked through.

I BLEEP at the ‘walk through,’ so I then have to wait to be patted down and mini searched.

By this time, it is now BUSY AS HELL! There’s what feels like a gzillon people, trying to rush through security.

It takes so so, because it’s so busy, that as my flight is boarding…I’m still at security WAITING FOR MY BAG TO BE OPENED UP AND LOOKED THROUGH.

I was there so long, that my gate was now no longer boarding, BUT CLOSING!!!

By this time, I’d won the support of the crowd, who were all rooting for me to get on this plane…and offering me all kinds of help…and letting me push in.

But no pushing in is allowed…as the have to do everything in order…

So, I did what any ‘Diva’ would do…I asked nicely….I asked nicely again, in the most politest manner.

‘I am so so sorry, as I know it’s not your fault, because it’s really busy and just you having to go through everything…But my gate is flashing *closing* and my bag hasn’t been checked through…’

There was nothing he could do…and to be honest, I got that…But I ‘Glamour Pussed’ him in the eye and he gave me a look like he wanted to help and needed to help…but wasn’t allowed to.

An middle aged couple almost ‘begged’ him to let my bag be searched ahead of their bad. But then the big grumpy boss came over and reiterated that ‘NO SPECIAL TREATMENT‘ was allowed…(which is true Lol…But if I can work it, I will.)

Grumpy but right Boss: ‘Do, not let her put her hands in her suitcase!!! It’s not allowed.’

So after I realized that….I did what any little ‘DIVA’ from the Orient would do (because I wasn’t gonna miss that flight and I wasn’t getting my own way.. )

I KICKED THE FUCK OFF! 🙂 HURRAH!

‘I have been WAITING HERE FOR HOURS! My gate had boarded and almost CLOSED IN THAT TIME. I’M GONNA MISS MY FLIGHT AND i KNOW YOU DON’T CARE, BUT THIS IS NOT OKAY!!!’

I kinda said it shouty…

And weirdly, it was my turn for my bag to be checked through…It got opened, sent back through the tunnel, came out the other end and then security even HELPED ME repack it as fast as he could….

I thanked everyone….and then

DASHED LIKE CRAZY TO MY CLOSING GATE.

I was in diamante heels and all the Duty Free lot where trying to spritz me with their latest scents as I flew by. Lol

‘I’ve godda go. I’m late for my flight.’

I finally get to Gate….Everyone has boarded. I smash through, out of breath, looking all sorry for myself…

He laughs, checks my boarding pass and passport…

‘Please just tell me i’ve made it..’

‘OOooooooh CLOSE!!! Get on love. You’re fine. You’re off to Spain!’

‘AH! I love you! Thank God for that!’

Last one on. The Jet2 staff couldn’t have been lovelier to me!

Just over 10 minutes later….

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I was on my way to Spain….

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