When I did Creator Hair….

So, the clock struck noon and after a morning of work in Doncaster, (the jolly town that birthed me…) I kinda *blinked* and found myself on a corner of 210-214 West Street in the middle of Sheffield, City Centre…outside a bouji glass door. A glass door, that would tinker me straight into Creator Hair. 

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I said previously, I’d met Sam, Zara and ‘Flat Capped D,’ at an event in Leeds, last Wednesday night…and after adoring the balls of them..quite madly, which was followed by a few ‘back & forth‘ whatsapp messages …I’d booked myself in, with the ever delicious, Sam, who agreed to give my hair, a good ‘glamour pussy’ seeing to.

‘Hiya! It’s me. I’ve got a noon appointment..’

They already knew. They already had it sorted, and as a lady took my faux fur from me, for ‘hang up,’ I kinda eye scanned the place quickly, but simply because it’s habit.

Creator Hair is literally brimming with style. It’s so well designed, with a modern, classy twist. It’s spacious, it’s open, there’s an absolute vibe of coolness. It’s busy. It’s alive. The service is impeccable. The staff couldn’t be friendly (which automatically flourishes you with comfort) and well how can I describe it? The sight of the place and the sound of the place, almost gives you a ‘FEEL.’ It makes you feel like you’re in a bouji hotel, or an executive suite. It plays with your senses….if you just relax and let it.

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And thank GOD for IT, because straight away always makes me feel safe. Lol. If you don’t know me personally. I’m bubbly and quite confident, yet I ALWAYS get anxious, whenever I first walk into a place. I have no clue why? It just happens. Yet, after a few minutes of me *yakking,* to disguise the fact that i’m terrified…I was okay again. 🙂

Me: ‘It’s bouji in here. I love it. It’s beautiful.’

Sam: ‘Hey..How are you? D’ya wanna come sit over her..’

Me: ‘I’ve got a whole bunch of clip in’s in. Shall I take’em out? I had this updo in that I didn’t like, so I switched it out, at the last minute, in Doncaster.’

Sam: ‘Yeah, what d’ya want doing?’

Me: ‘Whatever you want boys…. 😉 ‘

Flat Capped D: ‘I’m thinking, BIG, CURLY, VOLUMED, yeah…?’

Me: ‘Yeah, I love it! Like delicious and glamour pussy.’

Sam: ‘Have you ever had your hair curly before? Oh and it’s jacket..’

(He was holding out the ‘hairdressy gown.’)

Me: ‘Yeah, back in LA, I had it HUGE because I was an old school glamour model. Lol Oh? Thanks.’

So, as he smiled with his eyes, he walked me through the salon for a wash and a bit of glamourous banter.

Sam’s really easy to get along with. I find him really down to earth. There’s parts of him that are sassy. But he’s fun. He’s witty. He has a good sense of humour. He’s helpful. He’s creative. He looks composed. He won’t take nonsense. Yet, there’s a delicateness to him. A side that you just want to mother.

He’s quite easy to read. He’ll sometimes say nothing, but I can watch his face and know what he’s thinking. He’s layered, but he’s fun loving. He’s a gentleman…it’s just certainly swirled in sex appeal. I love him. He’s ace. I actually never knew he was in Yorkshire.

Sam: ‘So Zara & I read the blog, we were in..’

Me: ‘Aw! Good. I’m glad. The one where I made you sound amazing. Lol.’

Sam: ‘Haha…yeah…’

But then I couldn’t concentrate, because he was innocentlymassaging’ my head,…and flowing water through my hair, just doing normal ‘hair washy’ things….Lol….but  OMG, it felt like the most EROTIC THING EVER. I couldn’t even cope. If he had touched, massaged or just anything a moment longer, he would’ve had no hope. I would’ve *pounced* on him.

My loins nearly burned away. Hahaha.

I had to sort of keep calm by making ‘pleasant,’ normal conservation… about dating and makeup shit, so I could pretend that I was all *swag* about it. Lol.

Poor guy. Haha.

I mean, Thank God, Zara showed up at that point and came to sit down, for girly chatter, because I NEEDED to be FULLY DISTRACTED from the ‘Reecey’ head massage. She must have felt my womanly pulse, from afar. Lol.

I love Zara, she just fills me with life, because I find her so vibrant.’ She’s funny and when she calmly bursts into my life path every now again, it couldn’t be more refreshing. Her personality is a really good balance of everything! I love that in people.

Zara: ‘Gosh. You look so glamourous.’

Me: ‘Aww. Thank you. YOU look amazing.’

Zara: ‘Oh Hi Sam. I haven’t spoken to you all morning.’

Then with a *blink* I was sort of sat back in the chair, being pumped upward, in front of large mirrors, wishing I had a wine.

Sam: ‘You know we sell wine. Like you can buy drinks here. You want one?’

Me: ‘Yeah. God! I want wine!!’

And he passes me a mini drinks menu…and before you know it, I had a wine in my hand…

Sam: ‘Hmm…Starting early, are we?

Me: ‘As if. 12.0is a perfectly acceptable time to have a drink.’

Sam: ‘Before noon you’re an alcoholic. Zara’s bringing it over.’

I’m a sucker for a good time. So I went with ‘fuck it.’ 🙂 Well… in fact, I ended up having two wines, because…let’s put it this way…One of the reasons why I adore Sam, is because he can naturally recognize when my glass is almost empty…and sort out the problem.

‘You want another wine? It’s really hot in here. I’m boiling me. Are you?’

It means he’s aware of the little things, the small things…aware of his immediately surroundings…and also knows that I NEED WINE, without me having to prompt him. 🙂

That’s an attractive quality. It apparently means he’s quite nurturing. (So there you go Ladies, ‘NURTURING‘ has been plonked on the list.)

So, he’s curling my hair with his wand 😉 and we’re chittering…We’re chatting about EVERYTHING… his life, my life, his story, my story…what makes us tick, what we don’t like…We’re laughing at the shit things, good things, bad things… telling tales about all sorts and we’re chittering on about meditating…

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Sam: ‘I do meditate…and I write three positive things down after each day.’

Me: ‘You should write a diary.’

Sam: ‘Inspire me.’

Me: ‘Every day, just write out pieces of what happened to you that day….and only focus on how someone or something made or makes YOU FEEL. Like it has to only be based on private emotion. It’s honestly a form of therapy. Once you get started and look back on it, it’s like magic.’

(And it really is!  Expression is the simpliest form of keeping a healthy soul. That’s why I love to keep a diary. SO many people are SO internally messed up because they feel far too emotionally trapped, and cannot find it in them to just express in general. It’s unhealthy.)

He won’t start a diary. Lol.

Anyway, long story short, he’s kitten curling away. (I don’t know he put up with me, *yakking* on at him for that long. I must’ve drove him nuts.)  I’m drinking wine, ‘Flat Capped D’ is giving me back my ‘clip ins’ because they just wouldn’t curl…and I guess we both started talking about our love lives…But that was after this…

Me: ‘OMG. I have such a low pain threshold. Don’t let that wand get my ear..’

Sam: ‘Haha. I’ve never burnt anyone yet. I mean, I do this weird thing with the hair dryer sometimes…But I won’t burn you. Haha.’

Me: ‘Good, cos you don’t want to end up with a crying crazy Asian lady on your hands.’

Sam: ‘Hahaha….Have you ‘eard this…(*He’s Yorkshire, like me…but definitely doesn’t sound it*) She said if I burn her, she’s gonna turn into a crying, crazy asian.. Lol.  I’m hungry now…I’ve got my pack up downstairs. Oh, I did actually burn myself by accident, the other day with the wand.’

‘I WILL cry SAM! I’m emotional. I’m filling up now! Lol.’

Then we’re talking about holidays. He’s off to Ibiza on a stag do shortly. I love stag do’s..cos they’re much more exciting than hen dos. I don’t like ‘cheaty’ ones though. Like what’s the point in ‘I doing it‘ if ya gonna have a cheeky ‘ bend over’ before the big day. Lol.

I went on about my marriages. But luckily for me…Sam is just as unlucky in love, as I am. It’s like the Good Lord swizzled our paths at a crossing, and plonked the two most unluckiest people, who Cupid hates….in front of a mirror, to play ‘hairdressing.’

(I believe you meet everyone for a reason. I don’t yet know why i have to meet him? But I’ll soon find out soon enough… life’ll chuck a welly at me.)

Me: ‘Yeah. But i’ve been married three times..’

Sam: ‘What!! Lol.’

(Everyone always does a face at me whenever I say that. But I don’t know why? It’s just my story. I’ve done it now. I’m a love bunny. I’m positive. I’m all FOURTH TIME LUCKY. 🙂 ) 

Sam: ‘I can’t even hold a girlfriend down, let alone a wife. Haha. But i’m happy with single life right now. But you do definitely need a girlfriend when ya hungover. Lol. I want someone who KNOWS what they want and not too far away.’

Me: ‘Yeah, but love isn’t about geography. It’s about chemistry.’

Sam: ‘It’s a ball ache though innit.’

Me: ‘Hahah. Yeah.’

I’m not really gonna tell you anything else, because I adore an air of mystery.  I love being open, yet at the same time, I love keeping parts to myself. He seems really happy and he’s just concentrating on work right now.

But I had such a great time. It was so much fun. I mean my HAIR LOOKED AMAZING. It was delicious. He’d did such a great job…and i’m really really picky. I’d say, if I didn’t like something.  But I just loved it. I felt glammy.

How HE or any of the other stylists, have the actual patience to stand there ALL day and do people’s hair, is beyond me? It’s really hard work.

Me: ‘I’d start someone’s hair and just be like…BLAH…i don’t wanna do the rest. Lol’

I was really impressed all around, with everyone in the salon. The actual service and absolute quality of their work is  simply outstanding.

‘Flat Capped D’ came to have a look…and take a couple pics.( I like ‘Flat Capped D,’ I always want to cuddle him. He wasn’t actually in a flat cap, that day, but when I met him he was.) 

Zara popped back for sofa chats with me and I just really adore her. I’m really glad to have met her. I’m really glad to have cross paths with them all.

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She actually sent me a message that read…

‘Can’t wait til we next meet. You’re just a whirlwind, a wonderful, bubbly whirlwind’

How nice is that! It made me beam. I love it when people make me beam. It’s heart warming. I tottered through the city streets with a smile on my face.

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Then with hugs all around, I finished my wine and left the building to do a couple drinks in Sheffield…by myself.

My time at the salon was almost like a calming bubble of protection. It kept me safe from the real world. Lol. It was bliss. I’d go everyday, just for wine. Lol

Hours later, I get harassed by what I call ‘perv central’ to the point where I’m scrambling to leave and Sam has a really BIG car crash…and breaks his flipping hand. Lol.

Whatsapp msg:

Sam: ‘Sorry, i’ve just got home, was in a really bad crash earlier…just got back from A& E. Hope you loved your hair!’

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And that…. is what I call…

Life…

 

 

 

Blogging, Firmonnell & I’m in the MOOD for a Date

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Morning, my little pieces of ‘love festival.’ I’m feeling great today. There’s a beam around my soul, a tingle down my spine…a glint in my wink…and a sizzle of excitement in the air. I never know what life has in store for me? Who does? Yet, I just know that it’s going to be something wonderful.

(Even though I spent part of yesterday dressed as a Mermaid and that was somewhat alarming on all levels. Yet, a girl’s godda eat…so if work says ‘today you’re mermaid, start pouting for pics,‘ i’m there. I mean, it could be worse, I could be locked in a cellar, with zero chances of  prosecco and without the ability to selfie. Oh & just so you know, the picture above was taken by Insta: @AaronPix.Celebs & I’m pictured with Simone Reed, who has a new boyfriend, who’s apparently friends, with my friends.)

*Ramble Over.*

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So, what are you up to today? Owt or Nowt?

I’m going through quite a busy time right now, (where everyone wants a piece of me,) but like I said, it’s an exciting time, filled with opportunity, so i’m enjoying it. It actually feels like a really lucky time for me, so we’ll see what arises from the glitter pool. I’ll just keep everything crossed in the meantime and try and stay out of trouble. I’m so sorry to all the friends that I’ve had to cancel plans with for work. But honestly, it’s truly quite busy…I’ll come drink with you, always when i’m free.

*Always remind me.*

Who knew that writing a little life blog, could actually place you on some kind of ‘tippy tappy’ pedestal? I’m kinda in shock, but so utterly grateful. Never get that twisted!

I mean, who knew that, when I started typing out my life in LA, almost 10 years ago and simply because ‘D.K’ a middle aged barista (who kept a diary of everything he ate, because he had an eating disorder) told me to…Who knew that masses of people globally, literally on every continent of the world, were soon to be tuning into my life, as I ‘diaried’ along.

It’s nuts.

But what I love about the blog, is that it’s something that people just ‘discover’ out of nowhere, whilst they’re tinkering through their OWN existence. During that time they accidentally cross paths with MY existence…and ‘just like that’ they find THEMSELVES in this story.

It’s magic.

But I must’ve met a lot of people, because i’ll tell you, I’m bloody knackered.

I have an audition this morning, then I might head over to Gino’s Leeds for a quick prosecco to chill. You all know how much I adore that place. It’s certainly my hideaway and they never fail to treat me like  Queen. (Which I adore. Lol)

Remember last year, I got to speak to Gino and got to watch him work, as I became part of the madness during his stage show and launches…I had such a great time. I always go to the Leeds spot, yet when I did Harrogate, I cocktailed and played table football with, Adam Clayton. I don’t know who he plays football for, but he had his girlfriend’s Chanel bag dangling from his neck, who was also playing table footy with us.

There’s just a great spirit in that restaurant…I do drinks there all the time…and in the Summer, you should too! It’s a fun lunch spot.

Anyway, tomorrow, I’m at ‘Creator Hair’ in Sheffield. This time last week..(as if it’s been a week,) I bumped into Sam & Zara at the ‘Weaves & Waves’ event…You all know who Sam Reece is anyway and I love Zara, because she’s sassy and fun. No one does a better ‘resting bitch face.’ I love her for it.

Long story short…and after a few Whatsapp messages…I’m booked in at Creator Hair, (creatorhair.com) tomorrow at noon and Sam is gonna give me a ‘blow.’ 🙂

I just love saying *blow*

I don’t even know what’s gonna happen to my hair, (Hahaha) I just want to see them all again!! I’m excited. It should be fun. I’ll be blogging about my bouji bit of time there and I’ll try and get some really great pictures for ya’ll to see.

I had this mad phone call with my chick bestie ‘Firmonnell’ last night.

(Snapchat Msg)

Me: ‘Omg. When you’re free tonight, fucking call me. I’m stressed. All this shit has happened…and I don’t know what to do!’

It’s hilarious, because when we have a problem, one of us’ll send the other an ’emergency text’….and you can FEEL the ’emergency‘ in the message. We don’t do pleasantries. We just get tot he point.

By nature, we’re both sassy. We’re not lame…So it’s not like we’re all ‘come over to mine, drink tea, do a face mask and we’ll plait each others hair.’ 

It’s more like ‘fuck this, get gin, come now and sort my life out.

Then we’ll have a big verbal *THRASH OUT* where I’ll usually witter on about shit my love life always is, and she’ll solve all my problems, kinda like she’s Oprah, but drunk…

Once solved, she’ll then deliver her mountains of problems.

I never solve her problems. Lol. I’m too selfish. 🙂 Plus, I’m really shit at giving advice. Hahaha! She’s not someone that needs help. She likes tough love. And i’m good at that! 🙂

Witter. Witter. Banter. Banter. Moments where we *pause* to appreciate how wonderful are, in comparison to everyone else is. Lol.  I go bananas! Then we start accusing people of being ‘DULL’

‘Why are they the DULLEST PERSON IN ALL THE LAND. They definitely have shit sex. They’re SO DULL.’

Once that’s been said….

… it always ends with..

‘Well it’s their loss not mine. So I win!’

(Lol. Yesterday’s *Thrash out* was all about the art of ‘WINNING,’ when it’s mixed with this dodgy thing called ‘feelings.’)

Then it’s like we both just hang up on each other, like we don’t care.. Hahaha. Until the next time, my sweet!

I love ‘Firmonnell’ because I can be absolutely, truly 100 percent honest with her. I tell her EVERYTHING. And I never tell people anything! It’s like there’s nothing I can do WRONG, in her eyes…Even when I’ve really sinned and vice versa, there’s nothing SHE CAN EVER DO wrong…without me finding it funny. 🙂

Why can’t I just find a guy like that?

I’m in the mood for a date….Why is no one taking me on a date?

It’s sunny for crying out loud!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Girls Are Mental & I’m Feeling Frisky

If I wake up with a cat on my head again, i’m going to be fuming. I’m a glamour puss. I need to wake up calmly….not with something eating… *wink, wink, nudge, pout*……..my head. 😉 Any other form of ‘eating,‘  of course.. with my consent….is fine.

And do know, that i’m not being intentionally meaning to be smutty….I firstly, really do have a pet kitten named ‘Rocco’ who ate my head this morning…and secondly…right now, I feel like i’m on heat! Haha. I’m a proper ‘old aged’ horn ball.

I don’t know what’s wrong? (What’s right!!! 🙂 ) What’s wrong, with me? Maybe i’m wearing too many faux furs, or eating too much protein? Who knows? But my libido button, has certainly been switched to….’WORKING.’ (And i’m naturally excited by sensuality anyway…so you can IMAGINE how i’m feeling right now.)

*Takes the faux fur off. Puts down the chicken drummer.*

HOSE ME DOWN.

Oh and here’s a quick memo for ya….The above paragraph doesn’t mean you all have toslide into my DM’s’ immediately…At least give it an hour. Lol. I might have calmed down by then….

I’m joking. I really am. I might not be a Virgin Princess, yet just because i’m heated doesn’t mean i’m gonna come running, across fields, with my ‘frillies‘ down by my ankles. (Across fields?? Who do I think I am? It sounds so ‘Sound of Music’…if it was a porn?)Even though everything in Wunna land is done with a wild panache. Do know, that I’m the utter Queen of Self Control. I’m good stock, me 🙂

Mwahahaha!

So, it’s maybe five o clock in the morning, I’m in some satin dressing gown, getting my face done, getting ready to shoot and I look down at my phone and I see 44 Whatsapp notifications. 

When I see this, i know it’s from a group chat, something dramatic and 100 percent from the girls. Boys aren’t like that. (Apart from that one time in LA, a million years ago when Corey called me 22 times in a row for kicks. He even sang on one of the voicemails….Voicemail 22 was simply…’This is call 22, Wunna. Let me in.) I actually kinda liked it. I found it funny. He owns a huge Real Estate company in LA now…So I won’t gobble on about it anymore… in case it gets him into corporate trouble. As that would be shit.

Anyway, so I figured the ‘drama’ couldn’t be too dramatic because I only saw two of them for a wine lunch on Friday?

I was wrong.

My chick friend ‘Hustle Barbie’ left her boyfriend, packed a suitcase and is now officially single. (She’s headed to stay at her other chick bestie’s home and has packed a suitcase, containing ALL her life necessities…. which only consists of bikinis and Himalayan Salt Lol… )

I love her for that. I mean, even though it’s probably a really difficult time. The wonderful thing about it all, is that she took a chance and committed to a ‘new chapter.’ She wasn’t scared to find her own piece of happiness…She wasn’t scared to live… and I respect that.

Always go with your gut instinct, Always stay loyal to what makes you happy.

I mean I go on about life all the time and how important it is to fully LIVE IT, enjoy it and take those chances…and people sometimes put fear in your soul, to stop you from finding your own piece of ‘happy.’ They’re own insecurity makes them do that to you.

Don’t be part of a couple that doesn’t fit. If it doesn’t make you smile. If you can’t feel the *spark*… It’s just not worth it…for either party.

Always go with your gut instinct. Always stay loyal to what makes you happy.

To be honest, I don’t actually know what’s going on with the girls right now? I love them madly. But I don’t get to see them so much anymore, because I’ve been SO busy with work. Entertainments got a good *grip* of me right now…and i’m working really hard, things are going great…

Mel: ‘Chrissie? If she’s still alive…Where are you?’

We did have lunch on Friday. (They all seem to be breaking up with their boyfriends for Summer Lol. They’ve labelled it ‘Divorce Club.’)

Here’s snippets:

Me: ‘Honestly, you need to stop. You’re making yourself look crazy. Don’t send him a crazy message, get no reply and then justify the crazy message with an *i’m not crazy, honest* message. Hahaha. JUST STOP TEXTING!!! STOP! TEXTING…NOW!’

‘She’s right, just vent on me instead. Tell ME instead.’

Me: ‘Yeah. I vent on her all the time…It works, then you never send that crazy message! You’ve relieved yourself of the stress.’

‘Remember when you went mental over that golfer!’

‘Was she even hot?’

‘It wasn’t about hottness.. Lol.’

‘And if you’re going to send a crazy message…commit to it. Don’t justify it.’

Me: ‘STOP TEXTING.’

‘I just don’t want him to think i’m creepy. I’m not creepy.’

‘But don’t text him *i’m not creepy* Haha.’

‘Well, yeah, because it obviously makes me sound creepy. But I’ve done it now though.’

Bottom line, girls can’t help it. Whether they’re stalking your ex, pining for your attention…creating fake Facebook profiles…Whatever it is….It can’t be helped. It’s hormones…I think?

I mean, we can’t find a hair bobble, when it’s around our flipping wrist…but we know what you did in 2011, with your Dad in Paris. Lol.

And before you all start…I’m not part of the ‘social stalk club. And the reason why I’m not is firstly because people do it to me ALL OF THE TIME…and CREATE ALL OF THE WRONG JUDGMENTS, before they even know me.

I guy once sat next to me in a bar, a few months ago… when I was with my friends…(he was trying to make me go for a drink with him,) but Googled me, whilst I was STILL SAT THERE and went through my whole entire bits of ‘news,’ out loud, with me…in the weirdest sort of fashion? Didn’t try to get to know me at all? Just read out my life to me…in a CV like fashion.

Now, I don’t mind people looking people up. I do it, ALL the time. We ALL do it, when we meet someone new. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s handy, innit. 😉

BUT I’m polite, so I do it behind your back, 🙂 which makes it okay.

Hahaha. Plus, I was sat right there. He didn’t think to just talk to me, or chat to me, or ask me questions? I liked the attention, but didn’t like the guy. Bad form. Make convo. I mean, men are men, they should know how to win over a girl. It’s human nature.

The second reason why I don’t ‘social stalk’ is because I like to live with my ‘rosie tinted’ specs on, thinking all is okay, fine and dandy. I play the ‘ignorance is bliss‘ game. I don’t look for trouble. Meaning, I won’t ever find it. I’m therefore *blind* to it. Blind and happy, as can be. I don’t wanna know. I also don’t like the sound of a breaking heart. I like an easy life. No stress. Just ‘good times.’

But yeah, chicks are mental. It’s not like you didn’t know that anyway.

I did have a laugh with the girls though, even if they asked me where I sloped off to sometime last month, when we all went to Nat’s birthday…

Me: ‘ Oh, I felt tired…so I said I was looking for you, but just walked out the door and left. Hahaha.’

Hahaha. I ALWAYS DO THAT! Yet, I always tell ONE person…then just slope off quietly. I just needed a sleep. I’d been at fittings all day.

However, I’m glad I did leave now, because they all woke up at my chick friend ‘Double B’s’ house.

One.. found joggers…

‘Who’s random joggers are these?’

One… in the dirtiest crop top ever..

‘What the fuck have you got on? Why does it look like you’ve picked it out of a bin. It has rips and disgusting stains on it.’

‘Double B’ (the hostest with the mostest) apparently woke all the girls up, at the crack of dawn, with her FULL FACE on and in a KIMONO.

Hahahahaha. I’M DYING. I LOVE IT. I WAS SO PROUD. THAT IS SO ME.

Then she had to move her car, so she put joggers on, UNDER HER Kimono and moved her green gangsta Mercedes, so people could do the ‘walk of shame.’

That’s friendship.

I’m glad i went home early and missed it all. Lol.

Cya,

Thank you for following my life. x

 

 

 

Taxis to Angelica, Sam Reece & Curly Blows…

So, I walk out the ‘back room‘ door, now armed with a pink vodka… I thank Gemma, for my ‘back room’ shindig…and Sam Reece walks out of the loo door, at the exact same time. He’s in a hat, skinny jeans….and let’s face it, he’s a much talked about ‘handsome’ that the ladies can’t help but adore…They all love a bit of ‘The Reecey,’ because he *oozes* a charm that is almost magnetic.

All the charm. All the *ooze.* All the hats?

Yet, I needed to go find Sophia…because I’d been meaning to speak to her all night. So, I had to totter off, by the now performing dancing ‘Gatsby Girls,’ who were body popping with ‘ooh faces,‘ tassels and winks galore.. and the poor kittens had to do all that ‘jiggery,’ to  a crowd of Reality TV faces…

Me: ‘Hiya! I wanted to come say hello. I JUST missed you in Spain. Literally as you were just getting onto Spanish soil, I was getting into a taxi back to the airport!

Sophia: ‘I know! I wish I had seen you! It was a good time. I wish I would’ve shot with you too!’

Me: ‘I know. Great combo. I love you. I’ve been watching ya stories.’

Now, in case you didn’t know. I adore Sophia. She’s young and currently on this series of ‘Ex on The Beach’ on MTV. She’d just had a drink ‘swilled’ in her face on the telly the evening before and she reigns by the last name ‘Filipe.

‘I’m Portugese.’

She’s a DREAM. After speaking to her, she is LITERALLY one of my favourite chicks ever. I just love her. So, I need to drink with her again…and will absolutely stalk her until she’s free. 😉

We chatted for quite a while and for someone who’s brand new to all this ‘on the telly,’ entertainment marlarky, she is the most savvy, together, and hilarious girl i’ve met. She’s quick witted. She’s fun. She’s smart. She’s a glamour puss, yet… like moi, (even if I do say so myself,) she’s one of the most ‘down to earth‘ chicas, you’re ever gonna run into. I could’ve chatted to her all night. Yet instead we pissed ourselves.. at OUR OWN rubbish sense of humours, giggled with ‘Marlie Weekender’ and bantered with the super sweet Joe Angus, (who is set to be the new ‘Scotty T.’)

Me: ‘Have to told Scotty that!’

Joe: ‘Yeah…Haha. I saw him in a club.’

Joe was actually really sweet…I don’t know how to describe him? He seemed sweet like ‘apple pie.’ He’s Geordie and sensible, but still giddy and fun. He’s one of the good guys…all responsible, all ‘on time‘ and shit… and offered to drive people everywhere….because he’s kind like that. Lol. He even brought a hoodie, to keep himself warm and normal. 🙂 If you grew up in LA, he’s like what we used to refer to, as the ‘Good Midwestern Boy.’ But he’s British…and from Newcastle.

Get it? Good!

Long story short…The night at ‘Weaves & Waves’ was coming to an end…We’d all at so much to drink. We’d all embraced a bit of an event…and just now needed MORE, MORE MORE….As per usual…everyone fancied going for a few more drinks around Leeds. So fuck it…we did. Everyone always pretends like they’re deciding, and just goes anyway. 😉 (That always happens at events.)

I was chatting to ‘Marlie Weekender..’

Marlie: ‘My Mum is literally the best photographer.Honestly, you don’t even know. She’s like…pose like this. Pose like that…. I don’t know if I like the guy that I brought? I mean he’s hot, but he’s not that social.

Me: ‘She’s like your Momager. Lol. Which guy? Oh him? He’s hot. Why do I feel like a drag queen right now?’

Karl: ‘I like you. You make me laugh…Why don’t you come over here?’

(We start walking over to his crew of ‘friendlies.’)

People started getting into taxis, left, right and centre to….

‘Shall we meet at Angelica’s?

But I followed Karl, because he was gay and that’s what happens, in my world…

Anyway,  I start chatting to his friends Zara, a guy in a cool flat cap (i’m so sorry, I forgot your name) and Sam…(as in ‘Reece.’) They’re all hair stylists and work at a salon in Sheffield…I think it’s called ‘Creator.’ They came as a ‘crew.’

Banter, giggles, whispers and those moments when you don’t know the person you’re conversing with too personally, however you’re liking them, BUT still sizing them up.

‘Why does that dude, look like he’s poured himself into that shirt?’

Me: ‘Hahaha. I like that. His jeans are too skinny though! God!’

Karl: ‘Haha. I love you.’

We all decide to go for ‘one more’ at Angelica’s…But Sam can’t fit me in his car…

Sam: ‘I don’t have enough room in the car.’

Zara: ‘Meet us there…’

Me: ‘Can’t I just fit in the boot? I’m Asian. I’m fine with that.’

Then as everyone kept passing me shit loads of cocktails, to try and ‘finish up,’ and Weaves & Waves were on a ‘Key Hunt.’

‘Why is the key in Manchester???’

I jumped into a taxi with Rick (who organised the event)..

Rick: ‘Chrissie. I like you. It’s funny. I didn’t expect to. Did you win the Paris Hilton Show…’

…and the sexy Emma Woodhams…Who had definitely decided mid journey that she maybe hated all men and that she was definitely Beyonce in her ‘Destiny Childs’ days…

‘Look at me. I am.’

(Notice how everyone doesn’t expect to like me….Lol.)

We couldn’t find Angelica’s for ages. I asked everyone. Rick ran up and down escalators the wrong way, Emma danced and we maybe found Lego Land, whilst singing. I’ve been to Angelica’s 1 million times…so the fact that I couldn’t find it, means cocktails stole my soul.

Me: ‘This is like following the yellow brick road…TO HELL. How have I ended up with you too?’

Then a random helpful dude, pointed at a neon sign above, like it was a sign sent from the Gods…it read…

‘ANGELICA.’ 😉

And after what felt like a marathon, three trip ups, another escalator, a donkey, 42 piggy back rides, a ‘tuk tuk’ wave down… and 42 lifts… We got there…

Me: How the FUCK, do we get to that SIGN…!! Are we…?’

Random Lady (as the elevator door opens):…’Yes, you’re here..’

Prosecco was poured. I spotted Sam, Zara and ‘le crew’ over at a table…we ‘eye clocked..’

But Rick had decided to order us all prosecco, so under the stars, on the roof terrace, we all chatted life, as we pondered our existences.

Me: ‘Right, I’m gonna snapchat the table, so if any of you are doing or saying things you don’t what people to hear…DON’T.’

Everyone laughed…then stopped sinning, for exactly 10 seconds.

NO Filter.

After banter, I decided to go back to chat to Sam and crew….

‘I’m off over there now…’

…who decided to shimmie onto the roof terrace anyway.

Zara: ‘We’re going after this one.’

They ended up staying…and it ended up being really fun. I love to chill and just drinky sip, as I chitter….It’s like the perfect scene for a bit of Wunna Land.

Zara: ‘So have you two known each other for ages?’

Me: ‘No.’

Sam: ‘No…We’ve just met tonight. In fact, I don’t even know you’re name…What is it?’

Zara: ‘Oh? I thought you two had known each other for years…’

Sam: ‘So you’re a blogger, right? Are you in Leeds, cos i’m just in Sheffield? I really like Leeds.’

Before conversations and sitting down on the evening rooftop terrace began, he had to REMOVE the pure sheepskin throw that was laid on his seat…He did so by just chucking it on the floor, in a good old lothario fashion…

Sam: ‘It might have bugs in it… Haha.’

Me: ‘Don’t tell me that, when I’ve got half my arse on it..’

My bum cushioned that flipping sheepskin. It probably thought it’s Mama was back for a nuzzle.  Sam can make ‘throwing sheep’ off chairs look sexy. I just sat on mine…I’m a glamour puss, but sometimes my arse just needs to chill…  then had to pull tables across….. so everyone could fit.

We’re all talking. I’m getting to know everyone. I’m warming up to Zara, because she’s a ‘tough crowd’ when she’s around idiots and bullshit. She doesn’t like it. She’s straight forward, direct and actually lots of fun. I loved her. She’s northern, like moi and will literally just ‘tell it how it is.’

Zara: ‘I just can’t deal with bullshit…and they’re bullshit.’

Me: ‘She’s cool though. The rest of them seem really young.;

Sam: ‘Yeah, I like her. She’s banter like a lad…’

By this point, a gaggle of girls had surrounded the table, all giggly and young, they were oozing with absolute delight, BUT WEIRDLY trying to pretend that they didn’t know who Sam Reece was…Yet, knew his name was ‘Sam Reece’ because the fucking said it enough. 😉

This is all you could hear for the next 10 minutes…

‘Are you Sam Reece?’ Sam Reece? It’s Sam Reece. Is it Sam Reece? Sam Reiss? No, Sam Reece. Sam Reece! What do you do? I thought you meant Reiss? As if it’s Sam Reece…Are you Sam Reece…’

Then everyone asked for a ‘Curly Blow.’ 😉

Sam: ‘It just sounds so naughty. Hahah.’

Me: ‘I know. I love it. Hahaha. I want a curly blow.’

Zara: ‘I don’t know how he deals with that…’

(Some girl was tossing her hair in Zara’s face and sat in her seat…so it was all awkward and hysterical, to watch.)

But let me tell you about Sam. The most politest, almost calm, bit of gentleman…served in the style of ‘male model,’ NOT sat on sheepskin, easy going…down to earth…God of all sex appeal. He’s confident, he’s not afraid to try and win a lady over….even though he’ll do so with swag. It’s delivered with a handsome banter… a chilled directness….almost a determination, that doesn’t make him look foolish. He likes to get what he wants, but his soul is good. He’s definitely one of the good guys, yet there’s an ambition in his eyes…Easiest person to talk to…Northern..

You can’t help but like this guy… I mean for someone who’s quite prejudged…and i know how that feels….he’s extremely likeable…

And I only know all this, because well all accidentally had to become his ‘wing man‘ and we were all shit at it. No. I take that back. i’m really good at being ‘wing man.’

We all ended up going home after a few more…We definitely didn’t let anyone get in our elevator… A girl was screaming for us to wait to get into our lift…and it looked like she’d be ages and have 40 friends and Elvis with her…

Sam: ‘I can’t be arsed with that….shut the doors… Haha.’

Then everyone decided to wait for me, on Boar Lane, because my car had got lost…and I couldn’t describe where I was appropriately.

‘I’ve just walked out Trinity and now i’m by Mcdonalds and Nandos…on the corner…’

Zara: We’re waiting because we want to. Don’t be silly. I’m not leaving you here. Shut up, you.’

Me: ‘I’m fine. Just go..’

And because i’m obviously shite at directing anything, Sam takes my phone out my hands…and like some tattooed ‘all together’ hero, starts chatting and solves my first world….’where is the driver’ issues..

‘Is it that Range Rover? It’s here.’

Everyone gets kisses, everyone makes sure I get home safe….THEY go on to Fiber…I get my sorry ass home.

I’m actually at their salon on Thursday….And I’m really excited to see everyone again.

The reason why I loved the ‘Weaves & Waves’ event so much, was that it was actually filled with people, who I loved. That hardly happens….And, it was great because everyone there was ‘alive’ and everyone their was filled with personality. They were all open and easy going…which makes a blog really fucking easy. 😉

 

 

A Bit of Weaves & Waves (Part 1)

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So. Wednesday was manic. I was rushing around. I had the kids, a shoot…all sorts. It was mad, but it was sunny… and well everything’s better in the sun. It brings out the booty shorts….and fortunately and like a domino effect…everything’s better in booty shorts.

Have you noticed that when’s the sun’s out…Dudes get all ‘heated.’ I don’t know what happens to them, but their willies perk up and go on a mad ‘chick chase.’

All the chicks, all the chase…all the willies…

I swear, it’s because a bit of sunshine gets them overly excited. Or maybe because we’re all in heels and wearing booty shorts? Can’t decide? I’ll let you figure it out.

COLD SHOWERS FOR EVERYONE! Yipppeee!

Anyway, Pitstop rentals picked up…as I had to dash to get my face done in the nick of time… (I’m really grateful to Pitstop, as he shimmies over a brilliant chauffeuring service and I really appreciated the makeup stop off..but I’ll get to that on my next blog, as I have a lot to say…and not much time to say it in, as I have a wine lunch with ‘Firmonnell’ at noon. And who’s to play with wine and sunshine!) 

I arrived at the launch of the new Weaves & Waves hair salon, on Great George Street, Leeds…You should go. It’s amazing. I was really impressed….

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I probably got there around 7.30pm? I can’t remember? I needed a cocktail and I weirdly felt anxious? Yet, I love a hair salon opening…So it couldn’t have been better timing.

Cocktails trumps anxiety.

I should be a therapist.

I just remember pulling up to the salon…

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…and the pavement was filled with reality tv personalities, (so these were people who had JUST come off shows, are currently on shows, or about to appear on a show…and it’s really important for them to show up everywhere, as let’s be honest…it’s promo. So, if you have a current show…you go to ‘see’ and ‘be seen,’ at exactly the right time. 😉 )

There was what seemed like the entire cast of  this seasons ‘Ex On The Beach,’ Marlie from Ibiza Weekender, Emma Woodhams, who spent a summer on that Island of ‘Love,’ chicks from ‘Survival of The Fittest…’ All very fun, all very young…all at the very start of their new careers in entertainment. It made me feel like a veteran. Lol. And weaved between these little lovelies, where the delicious girls of Weaves & Waves and they themselves were the height of glamour.

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Everyone seemed really excited. The sun was shining. There were  dresses, fire eaters, media boards, paps, giggles, life, tans, winks and  well lots of people with really great hair. It was a proper ‘chick fest.’ There was literally…How do I say ‘lots of vagina’ politely? Bottom line…It was everywhere…and the ‘vagina fest’ was armed with cocktails.

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Me: ‘What am I drinking, it’s good?’

Sophia: ‘I don’t know? I just asked him for three big ones. 😉 ‘

So if you were a guy in Leeds, on Wednesday night and weren’t at  the Weaves & Waves salon…you lost out. BIG TIME.

BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG TIME!

Aaron the Pap, who is my favourite piece of adoration, I’ve just been in Spain with him, and spotted me arrive up, so as soon as I got out…I did my shots with him…He told me off for being a ‘Words Thief‘ and then had to dash, to another job.

I got a drink…a strong one….because I needed to! Then just like ‘magic’ with a hair toss and a pout…I got to ‘knowing everyone,’ a dandy bit better…after a wee, a quick blush down, posing for pictures and a moment of room scanning. (I’m highly social…and really good at the ‘getting to know you,’ without you even knowing. But that’s my job..and nothing is hotter!)

I smoozed, I smized…I picture took…I chattered. I filled my body with mystery cocktails.

Hair Stylist: ‘You’re beautiful. You’re so lovely. So what show were you on then?’

Me: ‘What you drinking?’

Hair Stylist: ‘We’ve got a massive stash of vodka and pink lemonade in the back if you want one…’

Me: ‘I’m there. Let’s go to the back room…I want a pink drink. Mines not pink and it’s upsetting me..’

I knew loads of people there, but I like arriving on my own…because it opens me up to adventure. I’m not scared to be Miss.Sassy pants or Lil’ Miss independant…If you show up with another human…and they don’t get you’re job….You close yourself off to adventure. And I need adventure…and what better place to find it, in Leeds, around glamour, madness, dancing girls, reality stars and the best wigs in the city.

They did a really great job… The staff, the owner….the girls, couldn’t of been more wonderful…and I always tells ya, I’m a ‘service’ and ‘personality’ kinda gal. They were just so easy to get on with…and absolute total glamour pusses…which I ADORE. I can’t wait to stop by for my hair doing!

Weaves & Waves: ‘Thank you so much for coming. You live here don’t you? Like this is your home town. We’re really excited and we really want the salon to work in Leeds, because it’s a place you can come for literally everything. Do you think it looks good?’

Me: ‘Yeah. It’s amazing! It’ll work. There’s such a good vibe about the place. It’s beautiful. It’s in the exact right place…and everything in this city is JUST word of mouth.’

I mean, if you’re gonna open a salon, you might as well have done it the way they did it, with Great Gatsby dancing girls, red carpets, fire eaters in undies,really great music and reality peeps winking at strangers. I loved it. I think they did an amazing job. It was truly very Leeds of them…and Leeds is all about ‘boujiness‘ now. Great spot. Good times.

They even had their own cocktail shaking dude, who was shimming up ‘corner cocktails’ and flipping things in the air…whilst making your drinks on request… for nothing but a wink and a smile….The best kind of currency/ 😉 How divine. Free drinks. We’re all in!

Then ‘the cocktail dude’, who was actually lovely, THEN decided to inform me that the word for a cigarette in Newcastle was a ‘Snout?’

Is that true? I don’t think it’s true? I know, loads of Geordies? No one’s ever gone for a ‘snout.’

It just reminds me of piglets and I have an inner terror of piggy snouts, because I always think pigs are gonna rock up to me, (obviously in the middle of a city, because I’m never on a farm 😉 ) and nuzzle places that they aren’t EVER meant to nuzzle…without getting a bit of ‘vajazzle’ on them.

Awful things are piggy snouts.

Right, I’m rambling…Let’s get this shit out…

So, the most beautiful girl, with the most wonderful ambery coloured hair…grabs my kitten hand and escorts to the pink lemonade/vodka shindig, that was happening in the back room. And it was ace, because I went from sunshine and street cocktails to sneaky little ‘hold my hand’ adventures…

We strutted past photographers, pouted in giant placed mirrors, we walked alongside a red ribbon…through a room full of half naked, Gatsby dancing girls (they were getting changed into their next outfit, there were suitcases lipstick and pink faux furs everywhere.)

We get to a door, she pushes it open…the room is pitch black…but filled with other girls… as soon as I walk in…some sat by the door hands me their phone and says..

‘GIRL. Yes. You. I’m trying to do my shoe up and I need you to hold my phone.’

‘Lol…Do you need light, it’s pretty dark.’

(She was hilarious. I loved her. AND really drunk. There was a nip slip.)

Me: ‘I need a cup.’

And just like magic…a cup arrived..(but the beautiful Amber haired kitten, DID have to go do the entire adventure journey back to get me a cup… with a straw… …)

In the dark….at around 8.30pm…I was poured a ‘back room’ vodka/pink lemonade…. Lol

It was gangsta!

Then I  sort of *blinked* and I was back at the party, back in the light, great music filled the room, and pinky tinges of light glowed around everyone…as camera flashes *snapped.*

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I walked out of the door….Looked to my left… and who walked out of the loo…at that exact same time…?

The darling that is….

Sam Reece…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunshine, Booty Shorts & Events in Leeds Tonight!

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Suns Out! Guns Out! Strut. Wink. Trout Pouts! 

I’m in such a good mood because I feel like there’s a *sizzle* in the air, a little peeky of fun, seems to be a swirling around us today. Can you feel it?

(Try again. Close ya eyes. You can feel it now, right?)

The sky is blue. The sun’s meant to be out from this afternoon onwards. And well… in my world, this means that the only thing left to do, is to reach for your booty shorts, hair toss a ‘curly blow‘ and paint your kitten nails red!!!

Yeah! Yeah! Doll Faces!

(I’ve already actually done ALL of the above. I did it as soon as I woke up.. Then I reconsidered my outfit, because It read ‘Vegas,’ not ‘School run.’ I got changed, did a school drop off…and re visited ‘glamour pussing’ as soon as I swung back into my home. I wish I swung in on a chandelier. 

No such luck.

Whatsapp Msg

Miss. Murphy: ‘Do the boys wear long socks with shorts? I don’t think I have any!!’

Me: ‘Juniors just in trousers today…because I forgot to buy shorts. ;)’

Snapchat Msg

Firmonnell: ‘I need to call you on my lunch. I need to talk to you.’

I think we both cried last night? I’m not sure, if she did?  If you don’t know, ‘Firmonnell’ is my best chick friend…and I definitely cried to Hollyoaks yesterday…which I found really awkward. If that happened, I’m certainly sure, that across town, ‘Firmonnell’ was doing the same. We really do get ‘hormonally emotional’, around the same time.

Being a girl rocks.

Anyway, things are really busy in Wunna Land right now. My April is slammed. And like I said, I’m being a shitty ‘be there,’ friend, as one minute i’m here, the next minute i’m there…

Infact…i’ll tell….

It’s a train ride to London, a flight through to Spain, a school run check in, 3 meetings back in Leeds, whilst loving and adoring the kids, yet making an event here, not being late for an event there, learning lines for an audition on Skype, but showing up for an audition in person…sitting through a conference call…emailing back a tv company…and then getting through twenty five shoots…. in two days and a half days.

I wouldn’t have it an other way though. I feel really lucky right now. Not just lucky as in ‘blessed.’ Lucky as in ‘i’m rolling that dice and winning it baby.’

I’m sort of in the very early stages of what I like to call the COMEBACK ‘MAGIC.’ But for the first time….

I can actually FEEL IT…..

AND THAT *MAGIC* IS WHAT I WANT TO PASS ON.

I mean, you might think the above ‘busy’ paragraph is a nightmare. It can be. But to me, it’s perfect. It’s all I ever wanted to do, all I ever loved as a career and the one thing that keeps me balanced.

Keeps me alive. I get an incredible buzz off from it all.

People choose their own paths and I guess, I just didn’t want to be sat on my arse, in an office all day, for hardly any money, doing everything that I HAD to do, behind a pleasant fake smile, yet nothing that I WANTED to do…and as the yeeeeeears pass me bbbbbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Time really does fly. Do not forget that!

To some people the ‘office, years pass me by‘ is their ‘awesome,‘ it’s ‘gangsta,‘ it’s a reason to crack open the champagne. And that’s great, because we all have different stories to celebrate.

To me…it’s DULL. I mean, I’d rather feed goats for 92 hours…and I hate farmyard animals, after once being head butted by a Billy Goat Gruff. Lol. 😉 I remember being so cross because it made me drop my Solero.

Don’t fuck with a Yorkshire Girls Ice Cream!

Anyway, I’m glad the sun’s out because i’m at an event this evening, in Leeds. It’s at the ‘Weaves & Waves‘ hair salon, on George Street, as they catwalk out their new line of wigs.

I love the local city events, in salons, or boutique stores. I think they’re kinda cool, because they’re usually all canapes and prosecco pours… over pleasantries….You’ll scan the room and it will be filled with popular city faces and littered with reality tv personalities, all taking selfies with one another and creating insta stories for kicks.

I love it. 😉

And out of everyone, I have THE BEST job, because I get to show up…do the Reality TV/ Modelly ‘ting’…But at the same time, get to scan, chat and absorb everything going down, for a BLOG.

So i’ll either zone in on one person…or do a little bit of everything. It depends on what happens really? But that’s the exciting part of the job….because you just never know…..until it’s actually happening to you. be It good for bad. Lol

BUT THE SUN IS OUT…WHICH ALWAYS MEANS RECEPTION DRINKS, FLIRTS AND REALLY GOOD TIMES.

No matter what, I’ll have a blast! Well…if my shirt dries. I forgot to wash it, so i’ve had to plonk it in this morning and dry it on a radiator. 🙂 (So glamourous.)

And i’m not going all ‘see through’ dressy. I’m doing a blue & white boobied, pinstripe shirt.. demin booty shorts and heels.

Bit of boob. Bit of leg. Suns totally out.

Knowing Yorkshire, the air’ll probably smell like barbeques. Lol. One bit of sun and everyone rocks down to Morrisons for bargain meat and cans of ale.

I think i’m getting my face done…and then Pitstop Rentals, the best chauffeuring service ever, will be picking me up and driving me to the event!

 

 

 

 

 

Rebel Just For Kicks & True Love….

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Ooh, i’m a sassy one today! I’m feeling rebellious, cheeky….fun! I’m wanting to be a nuisance, just for the glorious sake off and although it always ends in tears…..I just can’t help myself. If you can’t have a bit of laugh, then what have you got left…but rum? Exactly!

Chicky Mazza: ‘You are far too feisty today Wuns!’

‘Aaron The Pap‘ has already bollocked me for being a ‘Word Thief.‘ Lol.

Aaron: ‘Hahahaha! Sassiness on you at this hour, WORDS THIEF.’

But technically, you can’t teach a girl to COPYRIGHT EVERYTHING, not copyright your own words…and then moan because I stole them.

The words I stole, from his Paparazzi hands…were…

‘…AND SHIT!’

🙂 No one’s swag enough to own those words.

Today. I basically decided to force Lisa (as in ‘Appleton,’) who we know if a really good friend of mine, to have a MASSIVELY GIANT, birthday party, because she turns FIFTY, next month. She’s having surgery, so it will kill her to party, but it’s all about ME really…and I need an excuse to drink more.

Yippppppppeee!

I thought it would take me ages to persuade her…(I didn’t, at all, I don’t know why my fingers are typing that… I’m highly persuasive and she loves a good time.)

It took 3 minutes.

It was literally as easy as peeing into a bucket. (Which is you’re a girl, is not that easy at all? Why am I chatting shit? Lol And why do I have this disturbing image of me sitting, doing a wee…on a giant orange bucket???) 

Anyway, I won’t rest until she jumps out of a cake…or if we have a Tiki party…a flipping pineapple. Xfactor Liam (Halewood) has suggested that all cocktail sticks are made out of sausages or something? Lol. Oh no, wait? He said pickled onions on sticks and that he likes ‘bangers.’ 😉 (My fingers keep lying.)

But you get it. Today, I’m a cheeky swine of a glamour puss! And I’m loving it.

Rebel me this. Rebel me that!

I met up with another good friend of mine ‘Big A’ yesterday. He owns the High Fashion & Culture Magazine ‘House Of Solo’ and we always have a pint and gossip, usually about our love lives….then we decide to work. We chose ‘Ego’ as our banter hideaway…because it’s basically the closest and I watched him put Issue 7 together…( I like watching people work.) He was deciding if he’s going to shoot Rita Ora and Zayn Malik for the cover. (Hard life.)

We got talking all sorts and I showed him the Tattoo that I have on my inner right arm, that reads…

‘March.’

Me: ‘It’s the last name of a guy in LA. Lol. He was my bestfriend. His last name is March.’

Big A: ‘WTF!’

Me: ‘Anyway, finish off ya story? What were you saying about that drama, cos I think, if a Dude has to reach for PLAN C, then he’s got no hope! What happened to Plan A & Plan B??’

Big A: ‘They didn’t work. It was crazy. How was Spain?’

Me: ‘I’m going to an event on Wednesday evening. Weaves & Waves. I’m waiting the new wig line drop…Love Island, ‘Emma’ is hosting it. It’s in Leeds. Why don’t you come?’

Big A: ‘Yeah, I’ll try to. I’ve got a shoot in London…But…*looks at his phone..* Yeah…I think I can do it.’

Me: ‘Why is *************** ruining everything!’

Big A: ‘I don’t know? He’s being such an idiot.’

Me: ‘It’s because he’s got a fairly new girlfriend and she’ll hate me. It’s flipping WORK. We’re mates! We don’t flipping date!!!’

He worked…I DRANK EVERYTHING! And I couldn’t really tell if I was drinking everything because I was stressed and hormonal, or just wanting to celebrate….ANYTHING? 

Anyway, well done to all of you who took my advice and decided not to be dull. Don’t be scared to embrace life and don’t let the art of what other’s think of you destroy your ‘good time.’ They’re doing their own version of life…and just because it’s different to yours, it doesn’t mean it’s better..FOR YOU. I love it when we appreciate the differences in others. I hate when people drivel on about ‘blah.’ (Kinda like I do…for a living. 😉 )

Chick Friend Tiger Stripes: ‘Is your new thing accents? I’m sure all the guys that you’ve fancied over the last few years, have all had accents…’

(I’m calling her ‘Tiger Stripes’ because she didn’t rub in her fake tan very well. 😉 )

Me: ‘I don’t have a *thing,* I just..I don’t know…? I like SOME accents. I like it when they’re going grey a bit. I’m not quite  sure I should be trying to preach anything *dating.* But i’m happy right now, with the way life is, so stop trying to make me feel shit. lol’

I guess, love to me is teaming up with a best friend, lover and  hero….through the entire ‘thick and thin‘ of it all and still over the years, no matter what, feeling crazy about them every moment of every day.  I didn’t get married every time because I was an idiot. I got married every time because I believed in love.

I remember a time when I was really upset,, years ago…but playing it ‘happy’ and my old school friend ‘Wazza’ (who can see through everything and hosts this blog,) stopped me and quietly said, in the middle of his own wedding reception..

‘Don’t worry about it Chrissie. You didn’t do anything wrong. You just trusted him…. and that’s okay because you SHOULD be able to trust your husband. Honestly… I’m picking ya next husband. Lol’

And in that moment, my heart broke into a million pieces, but being me, I smiled, laughed it off and wished him the most beautiful wedding day….

[Oh wait….One of the loveliest bartenders at the bar i’m at right now, has just sauntered up to chat…Once sec…]

……………………………………

…………………….

Okay! I’m back. he just wanted to know how Spain went! I love it when people *pause* for a bit of banter with me. It’s fun. Most people walk by pretending they haven’t made eye contact with me and then start giggling.

I got this weird message the other day, from a guy, who i’d regard as a friend, because he used to be WITH  a really close friend of mine, for years. He’s been really inappropriate and he’ll send me the most bizarrely suggestive messages. He doesn’t care if I ignore him or knock him back (EVERYTIME,) he just keeps going, like it’s all just normal and dandy.

It’s not. I’m a really loyal friend. I just think it’s incredibly wrong. Why do guys do that? I even responded with a…

‘No, I just don’t like you like that mate…’ (And I hate that because it makes me feel rude. But to be honest, he’s being rude…Men are meant to make other women FEEL like a million dollars…not weird and awkward.)

Tiger Stripes: ‘Y’know, you NEED a guy to step in and make YOU feel like a million dollars. I don’t think you’ve ever had that. I think you’ve always looked after men. In fact, I actually think, as sassy as you are, you’re actually too good to them…and they take the piss. I also think you push them away.’

Me: ‘I really need ice in my wine…I’m gonna go ask for ice.. I’m not talking dating with you right now. I can’t concentrate because your tan stripes are confusing me.’

I’ve just got another message from a Wunna Land fan..it reads…

Fan: ‘I want to taste your sweetness..’

It tastes like vodka.

Anyway, i’m off, I can’t be bothered to type anymore. I want my wine. Summer feels like it’s on it’s merry way and that alone makes me happy. I love it warm. If you can’t shake maracas and dance to the beat of bongos. …(In LA, I once climbed an entire wall, in an evening dress, at a house party, simply to reach the bongo players, who were placed in some designer wall cove. They got fired because of me. 🙁 They let me play their bongos.) 

…What i’m trying to say is…

JUST HAVE SOME FUN, EH! It’s APRIL!

Tiger Stripes: ‘Are you missing ‘The Swirl.’

Me: ‘…………….yeah.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hormones, Dull Folk & I Just Don’t Like Festivals

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I’m feeling amazing today! I’m back on work mode and it feels good. It feels ‘OOoh Laaa.’ Yet, because i’m an old bird, I  was quite terribly knackered yesterday, after being blessed with  a really EARLY work wake up call. So, I just chilled and enjoyed family time, after a bit of picture taking and a rather important meeting. But I couldn’t keep my little kitten eyes open. I kept nodding off, like a granny, then shocking myself up. Lol. Only a Desperado could help me. 😉 (Any excuse, I know.!!! In case you DIDN’T KNOW A Desperado, is my favourite ‘slum it and chill’ go to drink.)

Yeeehah!

I’m in an updo today, and it’s great because it’s making me look like i’ve had botox.

(Snapchat Msg)

Chick friend: ‘You’ve properly stepped up your game Wunna! Your holiday pics and this whole Wunna Land blah, blah, is on fucking FIRE! You need a hose down.’

Me: ‘I’m getting there. I’m a long way off yet. But cheers, Baby boo. Hose down? Sounds rude. I think i’ll just have a 9am wine.’

Anyway, last night, I popped into a ‘Go Local’ in Ackworth to grab the Desperado and two ginger beers. (Love it there.) I’m craving ginger beers at the moment. And I  just love them because they remind me of my childhood. My dad and I would drink them and dance around to UB40 songs. A moment filled with love. 🙂 I get my drinking habits and my creative talent from my Pops. I don’t think he had a ginger beer though? His moves were too good. 🙂

Walked in. Saw the back of a guy, who looked moderately attractive. I only saw his back and his gym bum. But he had a Essex accent and was bantering out loud to the two middle aged ladies behind the counter. When he left, I slowly walked up an isle with a smile on my face…

Me: ‘Look at the state of you two! You’re beaming! Calm yourselves down! Hahaha!’

Lady: ‘Here you! Lol.  Just because we’re old doesn’t mean we can’t see a good thing, when it’s in front of us!’

Me: ‘You look love struck. Lol. I’ve never seen you so happy!’

Lady: ‘He’s moving down here….’

Me: ‘What? With his beautiful wife & kids? Haha.’

Lady: ‘Well SHE (points at the other cashier) definitely knows how to pull’em. She was stood there, chatting to the hottie, eating a bloody Shepherds pie! Hahaha!’

Me: ‘HAHAHAH. You couldn’t even BE any more northern if you tried.’

I mean, what is life without a bit of gravy on ya face, eh!

Anyway, the reason why i wanted to blog about that moment, was simply because it made my heart warm. It was so innocent and flirty and showed me that no matter how old, how young, sassy, quiet, how rich, poor, small or tall….a lady is..? She STILL always has that giggly little ‘playground’ girl inside of her… when it comes to boys.

It was such a cute moment. Glad, I destroyed it with by sick witty banter…and a ginger beer in my hand. 😉

Then I checked through the magazines,and papers, to see who had made all the covers.

Anyway, everything’s great! I’m really busy. The kids are back at school and i’m gonna miss having them around me all the time.

Being a ‘lone parent’ and raising them by myself, and having to work SO hard to give them a great great life, has always meant that I haven’t really ever had the option of just chilling. Y’know, what I mean, I never could just stay at home with them, mummy them, make teas, etc etc…. I never even managed to do that when I was wife…and that was ANY of the times, I was a wife. Lol. My life has just never given me that apple to munch on…However, it’s been wonderful.

I managed it all with happiness and I managed to be a NORMAL mum over their Easter holidays from school…(Well as normal as Wunna Land gets, because I did audition a lot and then fly to Spain and do days and days of pap shots.)  Bottom line, I love being with them and the cheeky little ‘Coconuts’ (which is what I call them) love it MADLY.

I sort of fantasize about times like that. I’m gonna miss them heading back to school…for about an hour. 😉 I’ll just swish back into work mode then and probably do it in stilettos.

I’m trying to tell you what’s going on work wise right now, but I because there’s just so so much, going on.  I have auditions zooming out my ear holes, a bunch of modeling gigs, i’ve had to turn down another trip to Spain, due to being ‘booked out,’ and turn down a show, because I didn’t think It was the right fit for me. It’s not something that I thought i’d enjoy….and I didn’t think i’d make much impact on a show of that sort. Well…no, i’d make impact, but not benefit from it AND…It involved a lot more of Wunna land than just me.

So I just said no.

But regardless, I’m back on the telly shortly (I again, can’t tell you anything about it yet) and I’m unfortunately eating everything in sight….when i’m meant to be on a Herbalife plan.

I’m blaming it on the ‘You only life once’ line, because I have to blame it on something, right? But if i’m honest, I kinda feel sexy anyway, whether I have a shake OR a burger in my hand…and I think that’s what confidence and VA VOOM IS!

Shaking‘ was and IS great because it kinda made me realize that I’m happy anyway…. Plus, I did lose weight for my Spanish snaps, which helped me out tremendously. So, I’ll be back ‘shaking’ shortly. yet because my schedule is about to get tighter and when you’re on the go, it’s absolutely brilliant.

No Faff. Easy Going. Just the way I like things.

I think i might have a wine to celebrate!

I also think, it must nearly be my ‘time of the month’ soon, because I’m going through THAT week, where in which EVERYTHING annoys me. Lol. (You’ll only get it, if you’re a girl.) People are really annoying me right now and i’m being much sharper, much sassier…much more uncensored. 🙂 I seem to have put down my ‘rosie tinteds’ for a decent set of RAGING hormones.

I’m quite ‘tell it how it is‘ ..of course with charm…by nature. If people can’t take a bit of banter or the odd home truth, then they’re not yet comfy in their own skin. Right now, i’m finding everyone quite…….What’s the word??

Dull?

I keep reading people’s posts and listening to conversations and thinking…

WHY BE SO DULLSVILLE? WAKE UP. ENJOY LIFE.

And the thing about ‘The Dull’ ones, is that they’re ALWAYS the first humans, to get their slow moving, ‘JUDGEY *never pointed at fun* FINGERS‘ out…. They’re all..

‘I’m too good for this./I’m too good for that./I would never this…I cannot believe that…/I am the most boring, unexciting human in the entire flipping land. Let’s buy tins of magnolia paint and just watch it dry upon already magnolia walls.’

Lighten up. Chill out. You don’t have to be wild. You just have to switch the beige mindset, for a better one that’s swirled in LIFE, COLOUR…OR EVEN JUST RUM?

YOU BORING SODS. (Can you tell i’m hormonal? Lol)

I love being a girl. We’re bonkers. Staying sane, is our official life goal.

My news feed got so frustrating that I started looking at all the ‘festival fever because it’s everywhere, isn’t it. It’s all gone ‘Coachella mad!

Now, Coachella.. at least looks fun. It looks sunny and alive.  I just NOT a BRITISH festival kinda girl. I’m not one to want to camp in a tent, wee in a plastic cup and refrain from showering for days… in the name of anything. I’m a glamour puss. And i’m not really bothered about having Unicorn hair, rainbow glitter on my face and adorning my arm with endless wristbands, that aren’t made of diamonds. 🙂

I’m a kitten, who enjoys a ‘cocktail and a wink,‘ and yes I can slum it. I love to chill more than anything. I mean, chilling is my favourite thing. If you have ever dated me, ever…you will know that about me.

I’m too old to ‘festival’ or camp about.

I mean, Glamping in the forest , in my giant mansion of a cabin was about as far as my camping skills go…and even that had to include a massage, a hot tub, room service and the option of an ‘in house’ chef. 😉

My chick friend even once stated that..

‘Camping to Chrissie, is like staying in the worst room in some Five Star Hotel.’

I love that! I’m not a dick. I just don’t like things to be a struggle during my down time. I work really hard, even though it may not look that way. I work really REALLY hard. ALL THE TIME. My work ethic is incredible. I’m fun but i’m professional and most successful people are, I reckon? I simply play it like it’s all a jiggle and a winkl…because that’s what my job needs to look like…

I just prefer calm, easy going peace, or quiet luxury…that comes ready made with love..Festivals are a Wunna Land ‘no go.’ None of this waiting in line for a shower… in a tented field, filled with ‘drama’ boys, and girls with Unicorn hair because i’ve  paid extra pences and booked ‘Vanity.’

I’ll pass…

So, yeah, I enjoy fun. But a festival is just not my cuppa…gin.

I don’t have anything else to say….I’m off to meet ‘Big A’ from ‘House of Solo’ Mag later I think….

I haven’t caught up with him in ages….

 

 

 

 

Fairytales, A Bit Of Luck & a Very ‘Happy Ending?’ ;)

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I don’t even know what’s happening right now? I’m literally the luckiest little tinker in all of the world. I’m jammy. I’m a shit. But i’m really enjoying my little version of life and mainly because right now, I’m doing everything I love, everything I WANT to do and now no longer HAVING to do.

You’ll already also know, (because I shoved it all over my ‘socials,’ that I found part of my Spanish get away in the foreign press a few days ago…which made me smile. I shot a lot, so to see me headline, a little something, in a different land, made all the picture taking worthwhile.

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I like making foreign press, as with the blog being read all over the world, (which i’m grateful for)…I’m gonna be honest, all press or ‘look at me‘ around the globe… is pretty helpful. Having the blog is great for spreading Wunna Land news around the world…as is being a model….You travel a lot.

It honestly helps a great deal. The phone starts ringing so much, you start making up a dance routine to your ring tone….

But anyway….

I had a WUNNAFUL Thursday…Well….I think it was Thursday? Whatever day it was last week….We’re gonna fly with Thursday….

WUNNA LAND WENT MENTAL.

It was sort of good news, after good news, after great news phone calls, after really fucking phenomenal emails. Lol. Everything, I had been worrying about, turned out roses. Everything that I didn’t even know would happen…ended up being presented to me as a lucky opportunity….and being the high strung executive that I am.. ;)….I simply did what any professional would do…and that was…

JUMP UP AND DOWN MADLY ON A STOOL, IN THE MIDDLE OF MY LIVING ROOM, SCREAMING WEIRD SHIT LIKE *YIPPPEEE* & *WOO* AS I LET THAT RUSH OF A WUNNA LAND BUZZ RADIATE FROM ME.

I was so giddy I could’ve giggled up martini’s and done *can can* kicks in a conga line..(and I hate conga lines, I  always feel  that they degrade people. Lol) You lose ALL SWIGEDDY SWAG in a conga line, just so you know. And it’s actually not the fun jiggly part, that makes you look like a lunatic It’s the part where in which the line…. drizzles off, into nothingness and no one knows what to do, other than look lost and act like it never even happened?? It’s a similar awkwardness to that of a dodgy one night stand.

It’s that part that solidifies it’s stamp of utter degradation. 🙂

But yeah, I don’t even know what’s going on? I’m just riding the beginners wave and enjoying it with love, my fingers crossed and excitement! And the reason why i’m so happy about the weird consecutive ‘good news’ thing, is because my life NEVER pans out this way. I USUALLY have TO FIGHT for a ‘good news’ result.

Now, it’s served up to me, with cocktail umbrellas and nipple tassles on. I can’t really believe? It’s weird because in life, I do feel as though i’ve done well. I’ve achieved. And my dreams have come true.

Yet, i kinda set all these other goals and dreams, each time I accomplish a ‘tick box’

Friend: ‘You’re actually going to do it Wunna!!!’

…and right now, it’s crazy, because it feels like i’m doing it again? And because i’ve worked so hard for it…It feels doubley great! You just feel so much more satisfied. I can’t even believe it. My life is changing again!

I feel like the luckiest girl alive…

..in work… 🙂 because we always know that my love life pretty much insists on being disobedient, as it refuses to dance up a happy ending.  Well, not the right kind of ‘happy ending.’ 🙂

(Sorry, i’m having a giggle to myself, because the last time someone, well lets say ‘happy endinged‘ on my back, or was it on my bum? I couldn’t see, I don’t know? Lol….The sentence they said, immediately after, as they did the loving tissue ‘wipe up’ was…)

‘HOW YOU DOIN’

Yes…in a ‘Joey‘ from ‘Friends‘ voice. Love it! Hilarious! (You know who you are! Lol) I actually messaged them yesterday to ‘check in‘ and see how Saturday had been to them? I think I annoy this human. But i’m rubbish via text. I always sound like a twat. At least in real life, I can charm the ‘swiney‘ bits away with boobs and eyelash flutters.

I had so much to tell you, but i’ve got completely distracted by ‘Happy endings.’

I’ll skim it.

So…This Wednesday, I’m at an event in Leeds, it’s the ‘Weaves & Waves’ event with Emma from ‘Love Island’ and I can’t wait simply because I love a good hair piece, so I’m excited to see what’s in store.

My best chick friend ‘Firmonnell’ has exceeded herself. I love her. She’s been drinking prosecco in caravans, to step digging with her mum at Motown nights. She’s felt rough, then after 30 minutes, found that she’s completely and utterly fine again..

Firmonnell: ‘What a different a wash and 30 minutes makes!’

Me: ‘Wow, you sound like a scruff bag.’

Her life seems delicious right now and i’m happy that she’s getting a good old swing in her step…Even if it drowns in prosecco pours. You know you have a bestie when they HAVE TO TELL you, how much you they adore you at 2am. That’s true love. I mean when I was in Spain….I recieved a message that read…

Firmonnell: ‘Are you back yet! I don’t like it when you’re out of the country!’

Me: ‘Don’t bother, i’m not in the mood to be missing you right now. I’m headed to the airport. You could’ve come.’

Firmonnell: ‘That’s cool. Swag it out. Oh and CHEERS! Are you a dick? You can’t invite someone to something, WHEN IT’S ALREADY FUCKING HAPPENED!’

Hahaha. I love her. I love our mad 2am messages, even though our phones refuse to type ‘fucking’ and always ‘predictive text’ out the word ‘ducking’ instead. It’s sooo annoying!

WE DON’T EVEN LIKE DUCKS! It’s so annoying!!

But it’s not just girls and 2am prosecco messages,  It’s the same with boys also….

Get ready for this true fact….

IF A GIRL IS NOT DRUNK TEXTING YOU….YOU’RE DEFINITELY NOT THE ONE MATE. 🙂

AND THAT IS THE HONEST TRUTH! LOL. 

Am i going to get away with wearing flip flops today? Cheap ones, with weird pretend flowers on? Lol

I’m hating on my wonky bottom tooth today. I’m trying to not let it bother me, but it is! I’m trying not to be vain. But I am. I hate it. I want it fixed. It’s ruining my banter. You can’t banter with a buck tooth. I want veneers like ‘Big Brother’ Simone….Her teeth were brilliant! Yet, instead i’m probably going to end up ‘influencing’ something that will lead me to straighter teeth.

Right, i’m done for now. I’m having a chill day with my Mum.

Have a great Sunday! Sundays are always my favourite!

(Pete, Ruby’s Dad is here to pick her up now for the day. It’s strange because Pete and I co parent really well. He’s sweet. We get on superbly. Yet, whenever he comes over for pick ups now, I always feel like he tries to linger, or come in the house, or see me…and i’m always in my own world, when I have down time…I like to withdraw from the pleasantries…So just to wind him up, I disappear and let my mum walk her out, or have Ruby greet him by herself. Lol I’m literally nowhere to be found! 🙂 Haha. I’ve even just heard him say ‘Is our mum in? Can I come in?’ Lol.) 

 

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Back on Northern Soil Dolls….

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(Picture Copyright: Aaron Parfitt/Flynet)

So, I was on my flight back. I flew Ryanair on the way home. I’d passed some Spanish football team en route at Alicante airport, one of them accidentally knocked into me, (which didn’t really bother me…I mean…it’s life, worse things can happen. ) Anyway, he decided to apologize repeatedly and sincerely…which was really well mannered.  Then chat to me….in Spanish? But by this point… I was knackered…and I’d be watching a family of 4, with a really bossy/strict mum control her entire family for a good 20 minutes, as I had a wine and waited for my flight.

I was done.

But I do want to say that the STAFF at Alicante Airport were DIVINE TO ME! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! SO SO MUCH! You couldn’t have been more lovelier!

Flight’s home are wonderful, because no one enjoys waiting around, twiddling thumbs…when they’ve run out of Euros, at airports. Nothing could be more boring. And i’m creative! 🙂 Fights…Fights? I mean Flights….Lol. Flights home are MUCH MORE tedious than flights TO places…as you’re literally just shattered, instead of being filled with excitement. You go on ‘GET ME HOME’ mode…

There was a point, where I just looked up at the blond, scrunchied (they always wear scrunchies,) trolley girl, with sorrow in my eyes, the biggest hair ever and…tits…..:) with two handfuls of change and a pink tshirt that read..

‘YOU DO YOU, BOO’

(LOL)

I was too knackered to converse in any jolly fashion, but i tried to smile, which may have looked like a *wince* and I tried to put on my posh girly voice, that may have sounded like CRUELLA DE VILLE. (Don’t care if i’ve spelt that wrong.) My left had was filled with Euro’s…ALL IN COINS and my right hand was filled with British coins….

‘Hi. I just don’t want to break into any of my notes… I need to use up all this change, especially Euros…Can you pick me out stuff, ANY STUFF….that includes wine and crisps….so I can spend it all?’

Trolley Dolly: ‘Yeah, absolutely. If you want I can mix up the the change for you, so you can pay for it all with both currencies, as one whole payment.’

ISN’T SHE JUST BLISS! 

‘YES, I love you. Please, do that! Thank you so much. Lol.’

She winked at me…I almost became part of the Mile High Club. Lol

And with a wiggle and a giggle….the poor girl stood there merrily and did a whole bunch of MATHS (my worst absolute subject…Actually what am I on about..‘love life‘ is my worst subject. Makes my maths look Einsteiny.) She stood, on the plane, in her scrunchie, with her name badge, as we flew through the clouds, calculating and adding for me….because I couldn’t be arsed to. That’s service! Lol. She counted change out of my hand and began passing me bits off the trolley.

LOTS OF BITS. More bits that i needed. But I couldn’t be more grateful.

After wine, we were home in a jiffy.Landed. Sorted. The gent next to me, told me to..

‘Watch that old mans head…’

As I almost flung my carry bag about like I was Beyonce, because I couldn’t reach it out of those top units. I love the Leeds flight home…It get’s really REAL and really Yorkshire.

Then as I stepped back into Leeds Bradford airport, did all the queues…shimmied through border control….shattered…but listening to two boys infront of me, rambling on about the chicks they’re apparently about to ‘sex up’ with their really little willies.

One of the Random Boys: ‘You…Where you off? You taking me, cos…?’

Me: ‘As if you’ve been on holiday and not managed to get a tan?’

I love butting in on people’s sentences when they’re trying to be ‘swaggy,’ changing the subject and leading it. 😉 You wanna play ‘swag,’ let’s play?

Boy: ‘I was out partying all night. I partied hard, y’know, I slept through the day, all day… I got businesses and shit… So, where you taking me?’

(He said it to me, like I had never ever seen a nightlife in my entire life. 😉 )

Me: ‘I worked the whole time I was there. I shot. I’m a model. I’ve only been in Spain for 2 days.’

Boy: ‘My ex girlfriend’s a model…and..’

Me: ‘What’s her name?’

Boy: ‘You won’t know her… She done lots…She’s been to London and everything.. What stuff have you done?’

And at that point, I couldn’t be arsed anymore. I just got bored. Plus, there’s a time and a place for the answer to that question…and that’s when i’m at work, a casting, an audition, an interview..or if i’m getting to knoew someone personally, who I hope to be with forever. They’re the only times I EVER have to reel out a verbal CV. Not at BORDER CONTROL, in a ‘You do you, Boo’ tshirt. I’D JUST GOT OFF A PLANE FROM WORK. I WAS SHATTERED. I didn’t want to chat ‘my life story.’ 

Luckily, his friend deliberately distracted him…and I clicked both their phones onto CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM 🙂

ALL THE PROMO. Lol. No shame in my game.

When I’m tired, I’m really quiet and I’d rather just have people go to the blog and read up about me, because i’m just really shit, during those times.

Hahahah! Shit! And A SHIT!

When I’m not tired. I’m the exact opposite and you cannot shut me UP! I BUBBLE OVER WITH A CHAMPAGNE GIDDINESS.

Finally got through all the checks and was strutting my way out of Leeds/Bradford (again, the staff there couldn’t have been greater to me. Thank You. Service has been excellent everywhere I’ve been recently?)

I looked down at my phone…

(Whatsapp Msg)

Pitstop Rentals: ‘I’ll be in the carpark in five minutes.’

Then during my plane journey, I’d been thinking about ‘The Swirl’ a lot. Maybe because I was tired and when you are you think of ‘wanting comfort.’ You miss people…

(Whatsapp Msg:)

Me: ‘Hope game day went well babe! I’ve just got off the plane in Leeds. x’

The Swirl: ‘How was ur trip? xx’

Me: ‘Good. Just shattered. I just worked. How was footy?x’

Swirl: ‘We got beat…I got sent off. U doing much tonite? x’

Me: ‘Comfies, relaxing and wine. You? Bet you’re shattered?’

Swirl: ‘Yeah, I am. Nice chilled nite for me tonite too.’

Then I strutted up with my luggage on wheels to the ‘pick up’ stop…A few people were about, chatting to me, waiting around for their mums etc… and a Pregnant girl asked me if I had a lighter!!!!!! (We’re definitely back in Leeds.)

I looked to my right and my driver PITSTOP RENTALS (which is THE BEST chauffeuring service, int he world ever,) was edging up to the curb, in the Range Rover…for pick up.

THANK GOD!!! The car rocked up with a vibe. A hero vibe that saved my soul.

Within seconds, my driver had jumped out of the car, grabbed my bags off me, ignored the folk who were glaring, got me in the car and with the biggest smile and the most STYLISH ATTIRE….SWOOPED me out of Leeds/Bradford airport! It took seconds.

Pitstop Driver: ‘How was it? How did your shoots go?’

Me: ‘It was literally amazing. I don’t think i’ve ever worked as hard though. I can’t even believe I was just there for 2 days for work. I’m SHATTERED.’

Pitstop: ‘You’re  soooo lucky.’

(He always reminds me that I’m lucky when he drives me. And it’s always the people who pass you safely from one destination to another, that have the quiet moments with you…away from ‘the show’ of it all and they remind you that you’re doing great, doing okay and that you’re super dooper lucky.) 

Me: ‘ I look terrible. I look like i’ve been pulled through a bush backwards and run over. I’m so tired’

Pitstop: ‘Well I know you’re hungry…You’ve worked hard. If anything you need to feel cared for and pampered right now. You need to be looked after! Hahah. Why don’t we stop off at the big fish & chip restaurant near the airport…and get something to eat and chill or bit.

Me: ‘PERFECT IDEA! LETS GO. I NEED FOOD, WINE AND A CHILL..’

Within minutes, we had swung through the restaurant door. I’m stood there directly off my Spanish flight, with my driver…and for the next hour we just sat (he moved us to a booth, cos our other table was wibbly lol) and we enjoyed a mixture of starters,  hearty fish and chip dinners, puddings, wines, coffees and banter.’

We chatted about his life and his work.He kept getting calls from ‘the office’ stating that the Lamborghini had a nail stuck in the wheel. Lol. First World Problems!

I chatted about all that I had done in Spain. He gave me pointers. Stuff, I already knew…but needed to hear. I talked about Simone. For some reason we started talking about ‘One Direction?’ (..because his best friend is Zayn Maliks uncle or something?) 

Then after I did a bunch of wine…which sucks if you’re a driver. (He’s also a good friend now.) He drove a very knackered Glamour Puss, back to her digs….on time and with the finest manner.

I STRUTTED UP TO THE DOOR SLOOOOOWLY, CREPT UP THE STAIRS…

AND SURPRISED RUBY AND JUNIOR, (WHO HAD MY FAMILY LOOKING AFTER THEM…)

And with the most excited *SCREECHES,* LAUGHTER, *RUNNING LEAP,* MUMMY CUDDLES and a moment of the most excited madness….Life just made sense again!

Those moments make everything worth it! If you’re a parent…then you get it. You get what i’m saying. I’m working my entire arse off right now and i’m all over the country, all of the time. Yet the most amazing and most fulfilling burst of true love and satisfaction comes, when you walk into the room and their world LIGHTS UP!

Makes my heart BEAM! The moments that matter…I really felt appreciated and sometimes that’s all a girl needs.

Ruby: Mum! Grandma said, a Babarrazi, is it Baba or Papa…was taking pictures of you looking sexy!?!’