B is for Busy

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Yeah, it was a busy one, a good busy, but busy! I’m by nature highly driven, ambitious, fun with it, yet focused when it comes to work and wanting to do well. Right now, i’m on catch up, as busy gets the better of me…but i’ll get there and i’m NAIL IT. Once, i’ve got my head around anything, i’m all empowered and super sonic…I just need to get my head over it. So, until that point, it’s wine ever night! 🙂 But yes, it was busy and we all knew it was busy as when you scanned around your work space, environment…atmosphere….everyone was busy…with a phone attached to their ear, a chatty manner and a mind that was utterly on the game, on point and working.

It’s weird because i’m an absolute workaholic, so i’ll let work take over and i like that! I love free time, play and chill also, yet i’m very much juiced by work. That’s why I can hardly ever date boys who aren’t also workaholics. I see them as ‘foreign’and almost as if we don’t see the world through the same kind of eyes. PLUS, i’m always passionate about what I choose to do. I’m a single mum. I have mouths to feed, schools to pay for and hearts to fill with joy. I’m on and i’m there, i’m going for it. You could be a guy I date and only be a little bit lazy at times..and i’ll wrongly see you as some kind of awful sloth. Lol. Bad, i now, but it’s true! I’m good like that. My head judges and scans all the time. But i have  busy mind…and well I know when to have a good time, I’m known for that…don’t get me wrong, I’m the most fun ever…yet i know when there’s a time to focus…and that time is now. I’m lucky because i’m doing something that I love. (Always makes things better.)

I think, i’m just not ‘grey.’ I’m always black or white. Always all or nothing. So, i’d do a life of working my ultimate arse off, OR an absolute life of being a luxury lady of leisure. I can do both really well…just not the inbetween…when you’re sometimes this, or sometimes that. I’m always one thing…and that thing is AWESOME. 🙂

So yeah, right now i’m zoomed in on work…and because i feel challenged. I need to nail it and i’m not smashing it the way i wish to be smashing it. But i will.

Today was good fun. It put everything into perspective…it got me ‘juiced’ and passionate…and right now, i feel like the most determined kitten in all the land.

It’d be hard to be a guy who wants to gain my attention right now..as they’d have to be utterly tremendous to cut me away from all that i’m doing. I’d do it…if i felt or even better knew the guy was worth it…I did it recently…and i’m pretty good at balancing things out.

Thank god i have a wine.

Happy Tuesday. x

 

 

 

Love, Dating, Guys & Ball Gowns

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Is it Me or is everyone on the Hen or stag do? Everyone is!! You all are! Told you everyone was partnering up for Summer! I want a Hen do. Not quite a wedding just yet, unless i’m swept off my feet again and I can’t help the connection. But yes, a hen do would be good! Marriage is an easy thing made complex…as is love. Next time i’ll get it right. But yes, you’re all on them..being Hen’s or honouring the code of the stag…and that’s everyone BUT ofcourse…. ME. I never get invited to weddings? Except for my own. 🙂 *Giggles.*

Okay, in love…don’t chase dead leads. In fact, if you’re a girl, go out there and give them the ‘green light’ as even the most confident guy needs to feel safe and then let them be the man and chase you. If he wants you…he’ll come get you….regardless…no matter what, there’s no rules when it comes to love and passion. Yet do you go for love and passion, or do you play it safe and go for ‘almost right’ simple and stable? (This was the conversation i was having at The Carleton, over drinks in the sun yesterday, when some guy was chatting about Banksy, another about aliens, and another about feeding dogs and i work with their cousin. 🙂 )

What you go for is what you want….people cross paths for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

I’ve done it all, so in the past i’ve gone for someone who doesn’t necessarily fit the mold, yet was so nice…so sweet, would never do me wrong…they were mad about me…yet they were boring. Not to some girls however…but to someone like me…the connection wasn’t there. Then you have the guy that is all dynamo, yet no substance, just wants to get his end away and show you off a bit, in a flurry of flash..yet has no real heart in it. I’ve done that in my time…it was just as shit..:) but only because again the balance of it wasn’t correct. One day, that guy finds his perfect match, settles down and is happy. A completely different guy. So it’s all about the right connection.

I know what i want. I’m a direct girl. I know who i fancy, who i don’t, whether i could potentially go all the way with a being or whether i couldn’t. I’m more happy waiting to do ‘settled down’ and married when i find the right one…rather than towing the line with the wrong one, who’s perfect for another being.

You can’t really force passion or love. It’s an energy, a connection…a buzz that you can’t help and a friendship, a trust, a sensuality and true love mixed in with it all.

I kinda want a being who is everything i want. I’ll base my choice on an energy…yet i know what i’m looking for. He’s dynamic, smart, sharp, intelligent, charming, sexy, sensual, romantic, loving, fun, traditional…works hard. I’ll never feel bored or suffocated by him. because the jigsaw pieces are exactly right. That’s what everyone is looking for. Fulfillment. Happiness. I want to be swept off my feet, but by someone who isn’t dull, who i’m utterly attracted to, who is good hearted, confident, does well and loves me madly.

All of those things…yet none of those things matter if i don’t have that chemistry. None of it. And chemistry isn’t the whole ‘he looks good, she looks good, lets shag’ thing. It’s an explainable pull…that you can’t deny is happening. A pull that you can’t resist…and both parties know it. But it happens for a reason..and when it happens, like i’ve always said…you have to hold onto it, as during our time on this little planet, it’s the moments like that that you need to treasure as they don’t often come around.

I want magic. I love magic. And i know that in the end, a substantial magic that lasts forever will become me…and i know that because i’m awesome. 🙂 Yet adies, he will come…and he will make you his, if he truly truly wants you and you’ll never have to do the ‘ooh i want stability. or ooh i want a sexy bad boy’ ever again…as he will be a decent balance and spirit of both…so you will always feel satisfied. Same goes to you boys. Sorry to be sexist.

Anyway, today, i’ve lunched with my children, I’ve bought my son his pre birthday gift which was a giant Henry the Hoover, to quench is obsession. He thinks they’re toys, which sucks for me, not because i have to purchase the entire hoover line, which would cost me hundred and hundreds of pounds,..but simply because once i’ve purchased the goddamn thing, i have to CARRY THE FUCKER half way across a shopping mall..centre….whatever you want to call it, by myself, single mummying it with two ‘winkles’ in tow. My arms killed. SO YES, the man i marry will carry boxes or hire staff to carry boxes. That is all. He’ll also give massages. Far too many boys and it’s usually the ones who are classed as ‘sweet’ don’t do massages. They play the sweet card because it means the can pull…but once you get them, they’re dead selfish…Lol…and not that sweet at all…and YES because they don’t massage me. 🙂

I mean GOD, if you were smart, massages turn into sex. If i was a boy, i’d be the most amazing guy on the planet. I’m so in tune with what should happen or how people should feel. So get with it guys, read the text book, say the Lord’s prayer, whatever you need to do and get it right. I believe in you. 🙂 Dating weird to me because i on’t spread myself thinly. I feel too busy to. So i almost check list guys off, without speaking to them unless i want to…and move it along for better or for worse. I think i’m a surprise to most, as obviously the see me as some random erotic shag piece. (Ego central…but to girls, it’s rubbish to be seen as JUST that, if you’re of substance.) Yet, if they get to know me i’m also a whole of other things…like fun, intelligent, emotionally together, from a good family,  honest, loyal, hard working, passionate, generous, kind, direct…all sorts of things…i’m ticking boxes../ and it freaks them out? Or like i said to a guy a couple weeks ago…’you’re going to like me a lot more than you think, you are.’ Even when i was younger in LA, I was sat in a car with my best friend Ryan and he said, that people are always quick to judge me or simply see me in one way…and then are fucked…simply because if they get to tango with me…they end up  bamboozled because i end up being so much more than the ever imagined…in a good way of course. 😉  I remember that night specifically, simply because my other friend Jordan said the same, that very night..but at the bar, when it was all dark and mood lit. The right guy, wouldn’t judge in the first place. He will be brave and go with it, full steam ahead.

I requested a bit of girl god advice off Victoria today. I can’t function correctly without her knowledge by my side. The awesome thing is that my shopping list for today had ‘ball gown’ upon it because of her. When that happens, you know you have a good girl friend.

Give me love.

 

 

 

Fun, Being Old and Cobbles

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(I wrote this yesterday, but fell asleep on the sofa, with my pink laptop on my chest and a Desperado by my side. ‘Mob Wives’ was on in the background. Ready…set…go.)

You know when you just have one of those fun, drinky blow outs with new people, who have become close to you, simply because you’re lucky AND because you live your same ‘day to day’ with them, where you’re part of a team that wants to SMASH IT LIKE CHAMPIONS. You’ve had a busy week…you’ve got through it with smiles and an unconditional bond, a thread that weaves through each being you’ve shared this time with, with trust, laughter and hard work…THEN you’ve smashed it and you’ve achieved with bells on and corporate buns…Well in our world, this means get drunky! 🙂

We did! We did drinks. We got drunk. We celebrated and had the best fricking time EVER…and all at the same time we BONDED. I’m loving every single moment of my new chapter and I know i always say it, but i honestly couldn’t be luckier.

Without telling you too much…there was the most AMAZING Beyonce  to ‘Single Ladies’ dance off with a guy, on a dance floor, who even wedged in a back flip into his routine to attempt to win the shimmie. (I cannot tell you how impressed I was with the Beyonce dance off, i was in awe…If i ever loved a girl, it was in that moment. It wa so good, i was pissing myself, whilst thinking, ‘this should be a show.’ HAHAH.) There were talks about marriage, skid marks, ironing, dating, boys, matching underwear, matching ail varnish….Tinder…life…work, one of us got (UNCALLED FOR) slapped by a Lesbian and went home in tears, someone ‘offered’ an associate of ‘the Lesbian slapper’ out, and I got PICKED UP and flung a bit. Lol. I did cocktails afterward, so i wasn’t that bothered.

There was laughter, drinks, nachos, drinks..sunshine, glass clinking, late night cocktails under the stars, people thinking lemons were limes, pitchers…banter, work talk, honesty, weird guys, good guys, gossips, determination, laughter and dancing in bars, on cobbles, in alley ways. BOOM!

Just an amazing night. A night that we didn’t really know the result of. Yet, they’re always the best. There was prosecco swigging, calf stroking, girls, boys, acquaintances…chitter chatter, madness…excitement, calm..joiners (Ben came and met up with us all) and from that point, it turned chilled, turned chatty and we drank more cocktails under the night stars.

Lots was said, in an open fun bliss. All of us are pretty direct. Pretty ambitious. Pretty good people. I drank my drawer booze, i danced…I ended the evening with Desperados down a Malt Shovel alley way, on the cobbles, and then a box of chilli cheesy fries at 1.30am..as we added more banter, talked about willies not working and finger nails. *A gentleman always has great fingernails.*

Today i’ve been shattered…but got up anyway to spend time with the babies and take them to lunch. I’ve been at The Carleton all day, doing steak and chattering in the breeze and then sun, as the babies ran around blissfully like the didn’t have a care in the world.

Sweets, gin, laughter, love and then Ollie walks in in a FLAMINGO SHIRT that ONLY a girl like moi could appreciate! IT WAS AMAZING.

Time wrapped up…and I was glad to get home in my comfies. I’m far too old for the Bank Holiday party. Don’t get me wrong, i’m social, i’m more fun than anyone…yet when you’re old, you’re old…and when you’ve done it, Tshirt in check…you’ve done it. I love nights out…but t doesn’t half knacker e as i balance it with work and mummyhood.  I think i just want to settle down now…I’m feeling really happy right now, and when you do, great things happen! *Wink.*

Boys…

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So now i definitely want a tortoise. Apparently you could rescue them…but after just hearing that they have attitude, I don’t think i’ll bother.

Y’know, i’ve been so busy, i’ve not managed to have time to chat to Cloughey. We’ve briefly said ‘hi, you’re quiet’ today, but not really found chance to chat. I need to zone back into that, as like i’ve always said, he’s a good egg.

Daz, has also been sending me snapchat’s of his of chewing things up. Lol. Daz is ace, a really great friend, but in a bad place emotionally. I’m sort of glad that he has me to help him pull himself together. An honest guy.

The Yacht sailor guy, is apparently on route home from Bermuda to meet up with me. He messaged me to see if we were going to meet up..but I just didn’t message back. He’d adore me to pieces, yet the connection isn’t there.

Then the Newcastle guy, who swears that I have spoken to him, want to pencil in a date. He’s handsome, he’s sweet…but like i said, busy times have got the better of me and i haven’t quite managed to message him back.

One day, i’ll find my Mr.Right and i know i’ll find him because i can feel it. He’ll love me more than he can help.

Sometimes you can have all the options in the world…yet they turn into dead leads. Passion is a two way thing…and it’s getting that two wayer right.

I met Ben the other night at The Carleton…we’re friends again now…that was a long time coming…but my heart is at pace now, knowing that all the drama has been resolved.

I was proactive at peace making…and it makes me feel the world of good.

 

 

C.H.E.M.I.S.T.R.Y

Right…I haven’t blogged in ages because I just haven’t found the time. I’ve kinda just been enjoying work, living a brand new chapter and trying to be as ‘on point’ with it as I can. It’s fabulous. I’m the luckiest kitten on the block and like i’ve said continuously over the past couple weeks…I sort of feel blessed to be around such great people. I’m loving it, you get that…my life couldn’t be better right now.

Next stop…

The art of dating…

Okay, so i’m gonna go straight into it, as you know how much i despise a back track when it comes to writing out my life as I go along. (Thank you for reading by the way. We’re doing better than ever and it’s still being read in almost 200 different countries, on every continent of the world and so forth. I’m really grateful..you know that…Life feels really charmed.)

Okay, so let’s rewind and let me bring you back in time and into my world, with a shimmie.

There’s this guy. A new guy. I refer to him as ‘Singapore business guy.’ I’ve briefly chatted about him with spurts and winks…but yes..I finally met him for what we’re calling ‘after work drinks.’ As always right now, i have an inbox full of suitors. I’m single and on the search of ‘the man of my dreams’…i’m in a good place emotionally and technically not searching during my search, as i’m a true believer that the guy will just come find you, do the leg work, sweep you off your feet and make you his…and only his…if he really wants you. If he doesn’t…he’s not that bothered. And that’s not so bad..it’s just life, it’s just connections and ofcourse that thing we call timing. I believe that you meet the right guy at the right time..and you can only hope that you might have a ‘connection’ where in which you both can’t help but do a lifetime of love. Everyone wants that. Some people are coupled up and not even feeling the certain ‘ooh laa’ that you need to feel. Some people are single and not realizing that they have such a connection with a being. All sorts. It’s complex usually, but easy with the right person…because it will just happen without your control.

Okay…so this guy. I obviously fancy him, or i wouldn’t have done drinks with him. I went straight after work, so i wasn’t necessarily all ‘Wunna glam’…just me, just normal and just there with a toilet spritz in the mirror and a smile. I think i took sassiness also…but that came by accident. 😉

So when you meet someone that you’ve been talking to and you’ve felt a written word energy, it’s always a bit terrifying when you do our face to face meet up, isn’t it? As you don’t know what to expect or if they will like what they see. Right?

So, this guy is hot, is smart, is charming…honest…states he’s into me…and well…we just have this ‘pull’ that we can’t really seem to avoid..even when we try. It’s what I call chemistry. He’s my front runner…he’s someone that i’d actually go for…as he’s not really ‘on paper’ all good and he’s not really all in my mind that bad…but he’s sexy and we’re very much aligned. We’re really similar creatures and we’ve discovered each other by accident..well nothing is ever by accident…we went with it, because we wanted to…Get it?

I arrive in the area, I walk in…and he’s already messaged me telling me to ‘turn left.’ I do, i see him, the place is sort of calmly bustled with folk, it’s dim lit, black, red lighting with a chandelier over the bar. It feels sort of table candle lit…and there’s a mood about the bar…It’s sort of what I would call a after work drinks, cocktail bar.

I see him. I’m impressed already as he’s looks even better than he does in his pictures and he’s confident. He’s not terrified. He’s very comfortable with ‘the chat.’

I sit down opposite him on a table for two and we begin talking…It’s sexy, it’s filled with charm..but it’s pleasantly normal…a even though i was a little panicked because i hate not looking my best…(I did tell him that..he was in his after work suit) we got along well…in a non forced, friendly, but sexy kinda way?? Does that make sense?

We call the waitress over and order to whisky sours, which is my favourite cocktail right now and I guess his also? And we chat about everything..the things going on in his life, my life…and our lives ‘maybe’ combined. Lol. We’ve actually spoken a lot, so it wasn’t really so weird…as we both feel connected anyway and we’re both really open about everything as we’re in the same boat when it comes to goodness and badness…and well..chatting and flirting seems to come easily to us both. It’s bizarre as we’re both sort of skin to the wind, non judgemental…yet at the same time…dipped in this sense of tradition and what we want.

He’s charming. He knows what he’s doing..and i sort of like that. He knows himself well and he knows women well. That’s good as i know myself well and yeah..I know guys pretty well! 🙂

He’s 3 years older than I am, so we’re also in the same tick box. That’s good as nowadays i’m not liking younger. Yet, he’s a young spirited 38 year old…he looks younger than his age. He’s charming, he’s sexy…he knows it. So i would reckon a guy who pretty much gets what he wants when it comes to women.

We talked the whole time about all sorts…it was never weird, we’re quite similar..but there’s an ENERGY. It’s so crazy it’s AWFUL, as it’s filled with that good old chemistry that you can’t at all shake off, which makes everything frustrating and dangerous…It’s a sexy sexy, chemistry that is a connection that both of us can’t really avoid…too easily.

It’s kinda like a loss of control…even though we’re both kinda controlled, in a weird passionate way. Yet we’d build up to this meet up.

I’m telling him he’s sexy, he’s telling me that i’m the ‘prettiest girl’ he has EVER had sat infront of him and that i could have anyone i want. I’m smiling and shrugging it off like he’s a charmer…but i hope he actually meant it, as that’s a pretty good thing to say to any Wunna, that you meet. 🙂 This guy is actually in a situation right now, that is complex which makes my life much harder…UGH…so it means that i can’t actually just have what I want, if i wanted…as, as open minded as I am…and like i said to him i don’t like things that don’t come so easily…no one does. 😉

Plus, even though i’m extremely attracted to him, i’m soo attracted to him it’s ferocious…i’m a chick that is looking for my perfect perfect connection, the man of my dreams…the buy that i’m gonna do life with in the end…and the guy i choose needs to be on that wave length also.

Everything is about energy and chemistry and i’ve always felt unfulfilled in that department when it’s comes to my relationships. I’m a good girlfriend, a really good one. (You could even ask my exes.) Yet, i’m never 100 percent fulfilled and that’s because i’m not lucky enough to have found the right guy. This guy..would fulfil me…as our chemistry is over powering. It’s dynamite and for someone like me…that’s the kinda guy that I should be doing life with..as whenever i’ve done ‘simple’ it hasn’t ever really worked for me. The ‘sizzle’ sort of lacked. Yet, with him, i’m aware that the newness of it, the freshness of doing after work cocktails is exciting to him. Once the excitement has gone…would be bothered? But i always think if a boy is bothered, he’ll prove it to you, if he’s not…he won’t. I’m a girl that wants to be swept off my feet and simply because that never hardly happens.

Great night. In fact, an Amazing night. I won’t sell it short as we watched the time like hawks as we both didn’t want it to end. He’s done his research, he’s read the blog, he asked me about my marriage, the Spanish Doctor, boys in general that he had read about…and i liked that…as he didn’t go into this blind. Means, he’s clever, which i find sexy. He’s open and honest but plays his cards close to his chest. I like him, he’s hot…i kinda wish he could be mine.

When it was almost time for me to go..we felt it…there was this awful cloud that surrounded us…this ‘i don’t want to leave’ you ness that murked around us both…we weren’t ready to finish up yet…but had to.

We had a weird moment of just looking, charmingly smiling at one another for 10 minutes and saying ‘Hmmm…’ back and forth as the tension and magnetism was far too alive and we didn’t know what to do with ourselves. REMEMBER that we were only on after work drinks. Yes, we both fancy each other…but technically it was just a ‘friendly.’ I tried to pay for half of the bill and he told me not to ‘demasculine’ him. Lol. I find that sexy.

Then we walked outside and kissed.

Slowly and passionately kissed. It was sexy, he’s sexy…yet filled with this frustration as we felt we had to rein it in.

We walked arm in arm to my ‘bye bye’s’ and kissed some more, to the point where it actually accidentally turned romantic. My whole method of transport home waited for us to finish smooching…

I will tell you that nothing felt harder than having life ply us away from one another, until the next time…if there is going to be a next time…as he never said there was one…

But he slowly waved me off…like we didn’t want to leave one another…and well we messaged all the way home. to relieve the frustration…

That is what i call chemistry…(and that’s after i had a chick friend of mine bad mouth him and tell me what an actual dick he is and for the majority of my morning..as we share a mutual friend.)

I wonder what he thinks?

The situation of it all is going to prove to be difficult….and don’t want it to be as i think if a guy treasures you or knows that he wants you to be his, he’ll go for it regardless because he wouldn’t want to risk losing out.

Yet now he’s done drinks…he might now have quenched his curiosity…and well…go back to enjoying life…as he’ll be on a timer now. I like this one…and i never ever like guys that much…I like him….He’s a good balance of everything and exactly what i need and what i’ looking for…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Buzzes…

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So, my theory about people only properly coupling up in the Winter must be wrong! What’s going on??? I mean, Gosh yes, i’m single and i tell you everyday with a wink…and a giggle. But, I always swore down, every single time that guys only ever wanted to couple up over the Wintery months, because it made them feel all lonely and…hungry? Yet Summer to them was all about flings and fun. Neither’s bad. Was simply just my theory.

WELL I WAS WRONG! The Summer, all sorts must be happening, as it seems everyone i know…as in boys…are ALL coupling up, trying to couple up or are looking for a proper relationship!!! Eh??? It’s Summer. That never happens. But me, being me…the Queen of Ultimate romance…I think it’s lovely. 🙂 *Beam here.* I mean, gosh even if they want new partners, old partners, young partners, all partners…this Summer, guys are wanting true love. I swear it’s true. I even have an inbox to prove it…and not the ‘i’ve sent you a questionably erotic pic of my privates’ files. I don’t care about those. They’re always odd and well hilarious. My mind is immune to them now, even after wine. I don’t even want to draw faces on them anymore and name them like they are pets.

But yes, i have an inbox half full of just gentleman…all who want true companionship…and i find it gorgeous. Fair enough i don’t talk to any of them. Lol. I don’t spread myself thinly. I told you, i have a one track mind. I want what i want…and that’s all I want. I’m open, honest, never lead people on. But direct. If i ignore the guy, it’s simply because he’s not MY Mr.Right, yet definitely someone elses. It’s just nice to know that there’s people out there still rooting for love.

ALL my guy friends are coupling up right now! It’s romantic. It fills Summer with this rush of everlasting love. This tinkle of excitement…a breeze that calms the soul. It makes me smile. I’m a confident kitten. A girl who is happy when doing her ‘single’ thang. I’m open to new love…as i’m a hopeless romantic by nature and I have options that i’m not really pursuing.

Everything’s new right now and i’m focused on work, family and play. Like i’ve always said, if a guy truly desires you with ever inch of his being…he’ll come get you. He won’t be terrified, or flakey. He won’t twiddle his thumbs or ignore you..he’ll make you (when he has his moments of free time) a PRIORITY, as that’s what men do.  They can’t help it. And we as kittens, don’ t have time for anyone but grown up MEN to swoosh us off our feet. So i’m simply sitting pretty, doing me..and waiting, as a Lady would do! 🙂  If he’s your Knight and you’re actually attracted to him, he’ll sweep you off your feet…and you’ll let him. Simples!

So, there are options in Wunna land, that I’m aware of and could pursue if i wished to. I’m not with anyone, sleeping with anyone or anything of that manner. Just being aware really as to what’s on offer. Lol.

Just to skim a couple…there’s Stu in Newcastle, who i don’t know at all, but he swears to me that I do? Lol. I don’t. Lol. But He’s in Vegas right now and is waiting to score a date. The good thing about him is that he’s persistent and confident…and not a bad looker. Y’know how i told you that guys tend to use me as a distraction…yet never follow through because they get scared or aren’t that bothered…he always tries to follow through and makes something happen. I don’t have much time right now really, as i’m quite scheduled up…but i’d hang out with him…I mean, whilst i’m single…I might as well see what my options are, during my own free time? Yet, if something  or it all feels like a chore, i know immediately that the chemistry isn’t right. And Yes, i’m definitely a girl who doesn’t enjoy things that don’t come very easily. I know that. Yet, i’m a level headed with a dash of ‘wooo wee’ and i’m aware that Partnering up is all about chemistry. I want a guy who’s spirit plays well with mine. He’s dynamic, he’s ambitious, romantic, fun and loyal to me Infact..he’s just ME…but the boy version. HAHAHA. Ego mania at it’s finest!

So yeah there’s other guys who i haven’t really met, or  those who are my friends (like Daz) who want to go on a date…

But it’s all about a throw me off guard, out of nowhere connection with me…one that makes my eyes smile and my mind go wild with thought. Yet i’m not a twit. I know if a guy actually likes me or is just being a douche for a while. Lol. I know men really well.

Yet, i will tell you that there’s one gent and i’m attracted to him to the point where the chemistry is oddly great..it buzzes, without me trying to make it buzz and well in moments like that, i always think life is too short to ignore those ‘buzzes’ because (like Vicky said) it’s the happy moments that we as humans need to cling onto whenever we experience them…or have an opportunity to embrace them….People never do that….and you should..simply because it’s good for you.

If you don’t like something change it. If you love a girl tell her. If you want a your Summer to be filled with flings, enjoy it, or if you want to find something more magical…then with your fingers crossed…jump straight in. Get those happy buzzes and collect them. You can’t help where your feelings place themselves really…but I can tell you that you are exactly where you’re meant to be right now in life…

I love you guys,

 

Chrissie (Thank you for following my life.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday Madness, Monday begins!

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Woke up Sunday morning at the crack of dawn to shower, get everyone ready for the family lifestyle shoot,t hat we had booked ages ago with Chris Stevenson, who had been amazing to me the whole time we were booked in. Especially because I’d been so busy.

He ended up having to meet me in a carpark with the babies, because we were doing out shoot in Howell woods, country park and I ofcourse couldn’t find it. The good thing is I got to banter with my ‘old chapter’ before i left, as i was parked right outside my previous place of work.

Drove to Howell woods, by following Chris (who was lovely and kind and just the perfect photog to work with, as he’s so laid back with you, yet gets the work done. Plus, i’m bantery and fun and he can deal with that! Hahaha.)

Got there and OH MY GOD, the babies impressed me so much because they were AMAZING. Thy were actually little models, who loved it like bread and butter. They get it off their Mama i’m sure. 🙂 I mean you’re not going to be me and have not naturally posey children. Chris said it was really easy to work with them because they were so confident. It made me feel good, as being a single mum wasn’t, well isn’t easy..so to think that I have awesome posey kids, makes me happy. HAHA.

We walked around the woods, the children having the best time ever…and we shot…Obviously I used to be a model, so i didn’t find it hard…Chris found it easy and yeah the children loved it so much we nearly lost them in the woods! Great parenting! 🙂

Honestly, Chris was amazing. I’d book him for everything now.

But yes, we got home, got changed, I dropped Ruby off at her Dads and took Junior to Ego for Sunday dinner. He’s a proper boy, so was all starving and hungry because he’d has to pout and pose all day because Mummy made him. Lol.

We did cocktails and Yorkshire puds, in the sunshine and it was divine! They honestly again couldn’t treat me better at that place. The service I recieve there is impeccable. Hence why i always go return with tips and smiles.

 

Keiran (Junior’s Daddy) then came up for a bit of dessert and to pick Junior up. Keiran beamed with pride because his baby had modelled it up. Junior told him to pay Lol…and he just looked at me grinned and said, ‘No Mummy’s getting it.’ HAHAHA. We chatted a bit, as like i said I’m never ever awkward with the babies daddies, as i’m not a childish plank…i’m really good at emotionally prioritising…I’m just like that naturally, and well being the most understanding human on the planet…I get how humans are in general.

They went home and I shot to The Blacky to meet Daz for drinks. Great times. Good times. Sunshine, smiles. All sorts! Daz fancies me a bit…lol…a lot….he makes it very apparent. He’s sweet. But when i look at him i know he’s emotionally not in a good place. Lol. The last time i found him, he as crying with a meerkat in his hands. Lol. I think he’s awesome! He thinks we’re ‘cunts’ but get away with it. HAHAHA. What i like about him is his honesty, fun and forwardness. As friends we get on really well. I know what i need in a guy and right now, he’s not there yet…

However, My walk down there was a confidence booster, as i got stopped 4 times and told i was ‘beautiful.’ *Wiggle wink.* Then I got chatting to Rich and got a hug! Rich was sweet…I’ve missed him.

Great day, filled with banter…last minute drinks in the sun…and then Ben showed up and it all turned tense and awkward. I don’t know why he can’t find it in himself to just come over and chatter…he should, as i wouldn’t not be lovely to him. Yet it’s not ready yet. Hopefully one day it will go back to being easy. It’s hard having one of your best friends, so of…well…

Life goes on…

I did lots this weekend.

Hope you did too!

Back to work! Couldn’t be more excited!!

Saturday….

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Wow, the weekends flown by! But it’s pretty much because I ‘filled’ it. When you do, you end up having a decent balance of fun and just like that *zoom* it flitters out of your fingers before you have time to catch it. (I’m currently in sat in bed, in my pj’s typing this before i get read for work.)

So, I had a great Saturday. I spent it with the babies, who adored every single waking minute of it. We did the usual love, laugh, live and shop. We did our usual morning brunch at Ed’s Easy Diner’ in Doncaster. The staff know the children so well now, that they are literally VIP’s at that joint. But they loved it…infact by accident it’s become a family Saturday Brunch tradition now….and being unconventional AND a traditionalist all at the same time…I know…I don’t get it either…it works for me. Plus, I enjoy it when things happen by accident. It’s a habit we discovered, that amazing…and we didn’t intend to find it or go with it.

After that major shopping occured. I needed my nails doing, new shoes for work, new clohtes for work, to buy toys to keep the babies smiling…to buy outfits for the photoshoot we ha the following morning. It turned really manic, to the point where my Mother was called in to aid my sorry (but rather glamourous) self…as i pounded the pavement, in a rush with my bank card and heels.

Luckily, and out of nowhere I accidentally bumped into my favourite people ever Vicky and Guy! They are the hottest couple you will ever meet and like i told you Vicky found him, her love, her forever boy after she was 40!!! It gives me hope. They married shortly. Their story is remarkable, as again they just met by accident…but they were just so uncannily in tune. Their lives matched.

Anyway, i was poking my head around shoes shops in a fluster…and all I heard was Guy say ,’Is that Chrissie?’ Vicky’s now ‘blond for Summer’ so i didn’t recognize her at first, but then I DID and it was just a sigh of peaceful relief. Y’know, whn you mind just feels os busy and all you need is a bit of clam, a distraction…just something, because you can’t have a wine to keep you in touch with live and the art of feeling loved. Vicky is my Girl God, she guides me through life out of experience. Guy is sexy and GOSH such a gentleman. You can’t help but look at him and melt…yet at the same time have such a wonderful time with him as hes fun. They are BOTH Southerns up North, as I like to say…they are the perfect match…and will we did coffee, looked at ball gowns, as remember we’re all off to a ball in June and chatted about my shitty love life that comforts them via this blog when they go to bed. Lol. Vicky reads it to Guy on a night like a bedtime story. HAHAHA. They’re both great because I can tell them anything honestly…and without care. I’m an honest outspoken girl…so that helps. I collect people like that. I show them pictures of gents as they totter into my path and they help me decide what situation is best! Lol

Then I met my Mum, found the babies and sauntered home feeling at peace. We’d bought a lot…but gosh…it’s what we do.

Then I panicked as we had a photoshoot the next morning, just for our family files, so to speak and it was chucking it down…

 

 

Balance, fulfillment, Boys & Adventure

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I did it!! I’m feeling amazing, to the point where my soul is beaming this gooey, contagious jelly swirl of happiness. it has moments of reeling you in like a smokey glitter of magic, then other times it just ‘nerf guns’ you sharply…with happy spurts of goo. I’m an ambitious girl, i’m a fun girl. i’m driven, i work hard, but i’m powdered over with this feminine down to earthness, great/rubbish sense of humour, warmth and friendliness, that is winked over with excessive charm. Gosh, my charm is undefeatable. If i could put it on my CV I would. It’s probably on there somewhere?

Anyway, in life feeling a sense of achievement makes all the difference and it doesn’t really matter whether you’ve scored the highest grade in the country on your G.C.S.E’s, signed that deal, got to our first night’s sleep after welcoming a newborn baby, finally found the courage to ask that girl.guy out, or if you’ve faced a new challenge head on and championed it.

This week has been amazing, as not only have i found myself in a new chapter..I also loved it, worked my kitten booty off and sort of did better than I thought and championed it. Well, ‘first week’ championed it, there is lots of room for me to get much much better at it…and i like that. I always want to do my best even if it’s wiggled over with giggles and cheek. Internally, I don’t want to let others down. But I did and when you ‘do it’ it makes you feel mighty. But what made it perfect was the fact that i loved it and the fact that I’ve gotten so lucky, because in new chapters you never know who your going to find yourself surrounded by…and OH MY GOSH, i couldn’t be around better humans.

I’m beaming. You know that and i kinda want to spread it. So try and challenge yourself and go for it. You’ll feel so much better afterward.

I’m spending my Saturday with my babies, we have our family pictures tomorrow morning (which reminds me, i haven’t paid him yet and need to.. shit.) Obviously because we have fmaily pictures, Junior’s kicked Ruby in the face and now she has this macky mark on her face like she was dragged up without a care. Lol. Great! Then I found him laid around a bunch of banana peels, watching Mr.Tumble, like a Gangsta. Being a Mum, even though i’m a glammy one, is the single most amazing thing I could ever be. Yes, i’m not a textbook Mum…but they’re always the worst kind, as they forget to love, live and passionately give off light. Kids need energy. YOUR energy.

Away from that, I was talking to Cloughey the other day, (you all know we’ve become really good cerebral friends right now, and i’m glad as it fills up spaces of life with a great connection,) I’ve suggested that he didn’t colour clash, ever wear crocs, and go steady when it comes to adventure.

Y’see, Clough is all on ‘adventure boy’ mode right now, as he fills he’s locked himself away from real life or fun due to a spurt of ‘wanting to hide’ by accident. Now, i’m the QUEEN of adventure and it’s just something that I NATURALLY am. I’m not a boring girl, I’m a fun loving girl, exciting, sensual, carefree…to the point where I’m not afraid to be a plonker if i need to. I’m  actually not afraid of anything, if my heart decides it’s right…I’m dashing off and going for it. I mean, God at 19 i had a suitcase in my hand, got on a plane to Hollywood, on my own and decided to live there. Lol. So you cn’t talk to me about adventure…I know adventure and crave balance…which i now have because i’m an oldie. I’m in a really good place right now.

So yeah, i was telling him that it seems that he always plans adventure, right down to a ‘t’ and talks about adventure, like it’s magical, when adventure is an action…a DO..a skin to the wind, without a full plan, go for it. I know it is. I’m am that naturally. But i’m happy that he’s trying and pushing Iceland onto himself. It makes me smile. We make each other smile. He’s such a wonderful human, i’m so glad to have him tottered around Wunna land. The world is full of good people, or interesting people, so it’s good to collect great them…so you have your own little bunch. The tossers just stick to their own. Leave’em on the curb, we don’t need them…they wear Crocs to parties.

Anyway, yes, i’m feeling more than amazing and like i said, utterly fulfilled and it is that feeling that makes you strong. If you are unhappy and I wasn’t before, but i just wanted more and a change…but if you are in a place that doesn’t fulfil you and doesn’t make you THE BEST VERSION of yourself…then you need to call a cab and get yourself to your next stop…that’s adventure. The DOING.

Oh..and on the love life front. I’m still happy. I’m still single..but i’ve found him. I think i’ve found him…? Well technically he found me…but yeah…I think i’ve found him… *Beams here.*

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lucky lil’ thing

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Life is absolutely brilliant right now. I’m working really hard to kinda be the best that i can be in my new chapter and i’m adoring every single second of it! Like I told you, I’m surrounded by great people and feeling utterly and completely, challenged (which I like) and fulfilled. It’s amazing. I’m happy.

Work is great.

Tonight, I kicked off my kitten heels and simply dedicated the evening to the bambinos. We’ve laughed, loved, busted some ‘dance party’ moves, they’ve had a ‘like we’re at the cinema,’ pizza and popcorn tea and i’m treating life to the pleasure of me on a wine! *Shimmie here.*

I’ve had a laugh today and it’s because i’ve worked hard and I feel a my greatest when i’m trying hard to achieve and seeing results. I know I keep telling you this, but i’m BEAMING. I did have to be wired on coffee juice all day, but it worked and my name isn’t ‘Keith.’ (My Starbucks cup had ‘Keith’ written on it today.)

‘Love Island’ John Alberti, who is a funny little blast of joy sent me a message today after I wished him well. We chatted last week and agreed, after laughter and piss taking that we would do ‘hanging.’ He would like a Tuesday coffee. But i’m always working Tuesday’s so he’ll have to get his ‘gentleman’ on and switch americano’s to a weekend. He’s a laugh. He’s a twin. He’s good fun. I feel like he would be great company.

I chatted to Cloughey on my way home from work. When i need to relax, he’s my ‘go to’ human. He’s just amazing at being there, which is a really beautiful quality. I want steak with him because I think he’ll actually enjoy ‘Wunna time’ more than he believes. Lol. He’s a really great fixture in my current life path. Regardless, as to what people may think.  I enjoy that he’s feeling adventurous right now. I’m currently on ‘work mode’ so i’m so focused on that, and letting it merrily consume me,  that i’m not really issuing much time to the giddies. But yes…he’s great. I want steak, boy! He’ll enjoy it.

The property ‘was away in Singapore’ business guy…shot me over a message today. I’m not really discussing any of the messages as such, as i like them being private right now. I know that…but don’t worry, on the boy front, i’m in an adjustment phase, so i’m on ‘pick’em’ mode. But yes, everything’s really friendly with him. It’s daily, normal, happy banter, brief…but twisted with sarcasm, a lot of work in between and fun. I actually sent him a message today, where in which i will judge him on his reply..His reply will roll in tomorrow.

Had minor road rage earlier for no reason. Well, not really, i’m a very patient human, who laughs before she cries. Lol. But I heard this *beep* whilst i was reversing out of a parking spot, I didn’t know who it was, but it was someone that I knew, (Billy) and I apparently called him a ‘stupid prick.’ AHAHAH. He messaged me right after, laughing his head off and apologizing and saved the day by sending me an image of food porn. (His dinner.) I had no clue it was him. Hahaha. But i enjoy my moments of feistiness. It makes girls sexy!

But yes, i have not much time for anything right now, as I have my hands full and i’m happy. Really happy. I’m so productive,, happy and focused right now that the boy department, unless ‘Mr.Right’ walks right on it and sweeps me away without me doing anything or realizing, doesn’t seem to matter? I definitely want to couple up. But not just with anyone…with my perfect love match. I never sell myself short these days and i know what i want. I’m ticking boxes for them, as they approach.

I’m adoring every single minute of tonight because i’ve had such a Mummy night..and the babies and I have literally radiated fun and love throughout our little world. They are the world to me.  But hey! THANK GOD for Lisa. (You know, I love Lisa.) Our children go to school together and well…I was sure I saw that Ruby had a ‘wear want you want’ day tomorrow…Yet I wasn’t sure…because i’m crap at the little themed ‘days’ that they have at school. So basically, before i sent my first born dressed to school like she was obviously my child…(poor thing,) I wanted to make sure it was dandy! Lol. The good thing is that it’s for charity, so no matter what she wears, she’ll be forgiven for it.

I don’t even know what else to tell you? It’s 9.30pm and i haven’t even had my tea yet. I’m just sat here, with no face on, stuffing my face with popcorn and hoping no human tries to ‘facetime’ me. People always want you to send them a picture or facetime you when you’re sat at home in your comfies, with no face on looking rubbish. Lol. I never do it. They can wait. Presentation matters to me, as i’m as vain as they come. Most people know that…and if they don’t then they shouldn’t be face timing me. Lol

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. I’m feeling really confident right now. I’m shooting off this light of excitement and it feels wonderful. I’m rally positive and again, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I almost have everything… 🙂