Doing it.

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So, I ended up going out on Friday, when i had mentally decided that I wasn’t going to. I don’t know what happened, or how it all changed, but i ended up scrolling down Facebook, realizing that ‘Vickie’ who i have named ‘my wife’ (she wants to marry me in Vegas and I think that it’s an exceptional idea, especially since the last time we tried to get fake married, we got called ‘fat’ and a ‘nigger,’ OH! And punches.)

Anyway…long story short, I decided to shimmie out (and we love a shimmie) and go meet her for a couple drinks.

I slipped into a sexy pink boobie dress, with the idea of ‘flaunting it,’ I flaunted out and got with meeting ‘the wife.’ Whenever we first meet we get really giddy, like chimps with all the bananas in the world…so  we drank black russians, made ‘rub it in’ videos’ for Ben (who was at work) just to make him feel shitty and with shimmie’s galore, danced off our night.

Our other friends were out like Spinky, some perv, Daz, Anna….lots. Plus, a whole bunch of my work mates and their mates were out making it a great night for all. EVERYONE i knew in Pontefract was out (apart from ‘working nights’ Ben.) I even met the same amazing girl, who i had met on the street months previous, who had stopped me and told me that she was massive fan of the blog and followed me on Instagram. I love her because she has amazing taste. 🙂 Yet she said something hilarious to me…and i do get a lot of people stopping me to tell me how my blog has touched their life in some way or another…be it good or bad…yet this girl..Beth…said that I was a massive inspiration because I made her learn that ‘you can never wear too much eyeliner.’ HAHAHAHA. 🙂 I heart that! Hilarious.

But yes, great night had by all…We went form pub to pub. I noticed that i was mildy (if mildy meant MAJORLY 🙂 ) with the boys and girls for that mater, as there was staring, hovering and well whenever i sat down boys would circle around me and tell me that I was ‘beautiful.’ LMFAO. I still got it. Hello cougar!

Infact, one guy told me that he seen all my naked pictures, but couldn’t believe how down to earth and how different i was, to how he had originally thought and well the other guy was pervy and tried to feel me p at every instance he could. (I’m not that easy when i don’t like you. It’s almost like trying to ram the triangle, through the square peg. Plus, i don’t like men who think that i’m going to fancy them, adore them and worship them…(and i am a love bunny when I LOVE SOMEONE) but lets put it this way, you can’t just feel me up and assume that i’m going to like you. It was really annoying.

Lots of dancing, fun and drinking…then all of a sudden everything turned into a fighty. Everyone started fighting with their other halves and it all turned emotionally crazy. It was fighting everywhere..and i didn’t like it. We all got sober fast and well at that point i got a cab home with my chilli cheesy chips. I also noticed that Ben and I get on better than most ‘done it forever’ couples in Ponte. To say that we’ve dated, broken up and are still besties, awesome and closer than most would know…i’d plonk a ‘gold star’ on our rapport, because we’re doing pretty well!

I mean, my Saturday day time was filled with my babies. It was bliss. I shopped with Ruby and JUnior, we did the park, we went to the Ackworht gala, we had a full on ‘family’ day time that was filled with ‘single mum’ alerts, and love. Ruby and Junior are so close and well as a mum, it sort of makes you happy to know that you really can do it by yourself. You can have everything girls, just stay focused and get on with it. I work really hard, all the time Yet nothing means more to me than those babies, they are my world and well that’s why i now fin it hard to date, as my next husband or the guy that i bring in (and i hardly ever do that) must love them tooo..or at least me a tremendous husband and fatherly role model. It means everything to me.

Saturday night both babies went to ‘daddies,’ so i was all alone and Keiran has upset me. It’s always hard doing a baby pass, but Junior was holding out for me and not wanting to go, so it actually made me cry.

I could either stay in a lone all night and weep, or go have fun. Sp i took a nap, pulled myself together and got my sorry ass out for a drink.

I went out on my own, but immediately found Nick and other people i knew. Then out of nowhere popped Ben in shorts…so the rest of the night was awesome because it was a surprise.

I was kinda dressed super casual as my dress caused a ‘hoo haa’ the evening before and i couldn’t be arsed.

But we had a great night…so great the boys got soooooooooooooooo pissed, fell about and we ended up at ‘Biggies.’ WAHOOO.

I even fell over in ‘Biggies’..and well we stayed their until about 4.30am. OUCH. I was working the next morning and it sucked ass. I even saw my old school friend ‘Kate’ out and it was amazing because i forgot how much i love her. She as fun and dry witted, BUT there’s  soft side to Kate that i adore. She’s really supportive of me and well when she told Ben that my blog had saved her life…it made me feel really good…like i had some kind of online clout.

Got to ‘Biggies,’ got drunk left, did home, slept for twp hours wen tot work feeling like shit. NEVER AGAIN.

Sunday I spent with the babies after work and chilled to celebrate my brother’s birthday. Loved it. Loved him.

I’ve worked all day today and i’m knackered, but i’ve just come back from a mini wine sesh at The Carleton….Amazing time, amazing people, my ultimate Ponte faves and even though it seems like i do, i DON’T spread myself thinly. I’ll usually only truly love a couple people and stick with them forever.

Had a great time, tired as fuck now, up in the morning an need a proper rest.

I’ll write a better blog tomorrow night, as i’m far too tired and up in a couple for work.

love you, leave you.

Night

 

 

Boys, Boys, Everywhere….BOYS!

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Now, i don’t know what’s happening, but i do know that boys are and i don’t know if it’s the heat, or weather it’s the season, a reason or the simple fact that everyone has to now attempt to couple up for the upcoming Winter season, in order to not feel all shitty and a lone at Christmas…but boys are headed to MY YARD in the MASSES, with boner swords, love hearts, gusto and no fear.

I’m a tough, glitter cookie. I can handle boys in the masses with a wink. But right now…it’s CRAZY, to the point where i might only need large wooden sticks to beat males with, but also human’s with other wooden sticks to goolie kick them away at the same time.

I’m single. I’m looking for love We all get that. I’m very flattered. It’s sweet. I even talked to the Hot Pontefract ‘Quaker school’ boy today, who is off to study law in his dreamy dreamy fashion. (He’s been into my work EVERY DAY for the last three days and we’ve all been very excited.) Obviously he’s too young. But i just like that we have lots in common…like hotness, Quaker school and apparently the ‘Asian thing.’ It’s just a bit of eye candy and it’s a girl prerogative to enjoy it when we can…especially cougars in training.

Anyhow, away from that…I’ve had acquaintances (who i adore) tell me that they’ve dreamt about me…What was it? Oh yeah,

‘You were some member of some ridiculously posh royal family…in a seriously skimpy dress and i was a servant. You kept dragging me into the toilets, dodging people and at one point you were on a boat, with no bra on…an i can’t remember if you had any knickers on.’

HAHAHA. AND THESE ARE MY FRIENDS!!!

Then my friend’s husbands had a try and one said i looked like a porn star…who was ‘beautiful.’

Then my old friends are edging in with a ‘walla walla.’

New boys are giving it a ‘no fear’ go…and to be honest, it’s coming from everywhere???

I have no clue why..but me being ME…i fucking LOVE IT. Attention and love all around. (Even though i have just stated to Ben that i will never get married again because my suitors all keep leaving. Red flag much. God just wants me to be single forever. Plus, i can’t go through all that heartache again, when i’m all fresh and fully recovered. It’s like an some kind of love addict. I’ve just got a lot to give. 😉

I mean some weird guy came up to me yesterday whilst i was hiding in a bush and told me that i should be a model. I replied with a VERY BRIEF ‘oh..thanks.’ Then pulled bush out of my hair.

If a girl answers briefly, she’s not interested.

You know that. I know that. You know if a guy or girl likes you by their manner.

So he doesn’t give in and goes with a ‘curve ball.’ (I like boys who don’t give in…but only if i like them..and you’ll know because i’ll tell you.’

His next approach…’You look oriental.’

DO I??? I haven’t at all noticed.

I was still in a bush.

Then he follows up with a ‘do you want to get in my car.’

Snooze festival.

I don’t even know what’s going on…so i’m banning myself from romance and blaming it on the boogie.

Ps/ YOU ARE AT A MASSIVE ADVANTAGE IF YOU KNOW ME ALREADY, AS THAN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE A WEIRD SENSE OF HUMOUR. Banter will get you further than a dick pic. (Unless i’ve asked for one. 🙂 )

 

 

What else has happened?

I’ve worked. but i weekend started yesterday at five o clock. I have the whole of today and tomorrow off, but Juniors been ill today, meaning it’s stopped me from cocktailing, but that’s probably for the best.

I had two frozen pina cololads at home last night then got me really pissed! I don’t know how? But i always do cocktails at home. I’l do a bottle of wine and nothing will happen. I’ll do two budget pina’s at HOME..and i was so drunk i had to put myself to actual bed!! LMFAO

Then i ate chilli powder on stuff and burnt my sore lips and got pissed off.

But anyway, i’m off now because it’s turned sunny and now i want drinks.

More importantly Danielle is off to have a Magaluf baby, which will give Jenna and i years of jokes at her expense. Ruby is at a teddy’s bears picnic and life is pretty awesome.

Have fun

Happy weekend.

 

Be my Baby

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Morning!!! It feels like Monday today for me and it shouldn’t as it’s my last day of the working week…of…well…doing work….so i should be throwing my knickers in the air and placing on nipple tassles for a shimmie.

Anyhow, i’m going back to my original idea of Summer being all about flings and not about anything substantial. Substantial, would be good…yet it’s never really the case in the season of ‘gun shows’ and bikinis.

I’ll breeze through Summer and if i’m honest…it’s not like the pool is dry when it comes to boys and ‘The Wunna.’ I’m very single. I’m not really doing anything with anyone right now. I enjoy being single, because i’m picky and will never ever sell myself short..again. I’m the opposite to young and the opposite to desperate…and i have pickings…so i sort of watch and see. I get hit on quite  alot and for those of you who are tutting the ‘big headed’ thing, i don’t care…lol…because it really is the absolute truth. Men pop out of everywhere, literally every moment of every day…to the point where it puts me off dating.

The ones that i think are good, end up being weird. The ones that i think are good, are probably…awesome. I’m sick of ‘friend zone.’ Or anything that takes ages. I want a brave man, a romantic man, a fun man, a best friend, a life partner…a family guy who knows how to be loyal, have a great time and well…worships me. Lol. Let’s just say, I adore him and he knows what he’s got. 🙂 Someone who has my back. Someone who enjoys life just as much as i do…and lives it with me and the babies.

It’s not that easy to find…and right now quite a lot of different guys are presenting themselves to me properly and not via ‘dick pic’ that i don’t even know where to start??? Ugh!

In Pontefract, no one is all brave and romantic. The boys sort of ‘play it cool’ which i find annoying. I like expressive. I’m not a being who gives two hoots about what people think about me, so i expect that in a guy…as you can’t date me and expect no gossip.

I want to be surprised.

And i want it NOW.

 

 

Those catch up blogs that i hate…

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God! Sorry, that I haven’t blogged in ages! I’ve just been busy, working, living, being Mum…the usual all stuff…..having fun can be plonked in there also. But now i’m knackered. I’ve worked A LOT over the last two weeks..which you can wiggle auditioning and Mummying into. Straight after work today, I had to rush off and enroll my first born into school, over schools. I was shattered. But i aced it. (They enjoy that ‘Wunna’ loin fruit, will be gracing their classroom…even though she did have to get physically restrained, the other day. 🙂 )

Okay…if i hate anything, it’s doing an ages long recap of things and mainly because, for me….once the moment has happened…it’s happened..and when you’re a forward moving girl….it all seems like ages away. Plus, i’m not a girl to really dwell over the past. It’s there…it’s history…it’s to be enjoyed…but GOD i move it along and that’s the beauty of Me. I don’t dwell on ANYTHING. Plus, i believe when people focus so much on their past, it means they have nothing awesome happening in their present.

Friday. I worked all day and went to the pub for a couple to watch boys eat steak. Ben had just come back from Turkey. Rich did steak with him. Good night. A sort of mini fight happened. Went home at around midnight. Underlined it as ‘awesome.’

Saturday? What did i do Saturday? Oh God yeah! I had a Bloody Mary at 11am and set off to meet Rich and Katty at the bus station ( i haven’t ridden a bus in decades and even then, i think i’ve only ever rode a bus twice…) We headed over to Wakefield, watched a guy get a tattoo, enjoyed super spicy Bloody Mary’s at ‘The Hop’ on Wakefield, because everywhere decent was shut..then we got in a taxi…pissed and headed to Wazza and Hannah’s armed with what felt like 100’s of cocktails in a can, a £40 bottle of pink champagne and wind proof lighters. We literally talked about EVERYTHING and everyone. Then got lost, so Wazza had to come find us. (Rich was shit at directions. )

Got to Wazza’s enjoyed new fun with old friends….over jerk chicken, Sausage and beef burgers. It was filled with ‘happies’ and families and beer…and it kinda just felt great to see Wazza after such a long long time!

The night ended great with the sun setting, rap music playing, Wazza getting done for playing Rolf Harris songs, Dirty dancing lyrics being sang, forced marriage occuring…drinking, mentols, videos and lost of re runs of ‘Especially for yoou’ at Katt who is too young to get it.

Cabbed it home late…and Rich got a dodgy phone call, which made everyone angry.

I walked to the taxi rank by myself and cabbed it home quite early actually…I had had an awesome day, but it felt awesome to get home and into my comfies.

Next day was Father’s day. I had spent the morning taking the babies shopping and running around the park with them, in the sun. I loved every single minute of it as when they’re with me, they couldn’t be happier. My babies are my world and every bit of me is ever so grateful to be lucky enough to have them. I’m a soft mum because i can’t help it. But i love, love, love them…with ever inch of my soul.

Later that day, Ben and I had agreed to meet up, catch up, do food and drinks. So we met up at The Carleton at 2.30pm and had the best afternoon ever. I kinda missed him when he was in Turkey, so it was good to catch up. I was sort of late. He was early and nothing is better than boys who get ready fast. I hate waiting for people.

Anyway, we had fun, in the newly refurbished Carleton…and after gammon and burgers…did FOUR FUCKING BOTTLE OF RED WINE, A PITCHER AND SANGRIA, A SODA WATER, to fool us into being normal, he had previous cider, i had vodka…and then we called Dodge and Nick…who came to join the fun, where further drinks were had, alongside banter, followed by PINA COLADAS!!

It actually ended up being awesome, to the point where i think ‘The Carleton’ might actually be my new favourite place to hang. For some reason, i prefer it so much more than going into town. Dodge was rough, Nick craved his BMX, Ben took over from Mama Wunna and I got went home in the other direction.

Last night, after work…I met Dodge, Ben and luke (who i love) at ‘The Bridge’ for Tuesday night drinks. The boys were a little quieter than normal and i don’t like quiet and then started talking about food. No one was on the Wunna fun bus. I’m on it always regardless as to whether i’m drinking or not. Luckily, they perked up a little and it all got fun. I’m naturally a fun girl so i  expect everyone to be the same sort of dickhead. Ben was on soda water (ugh) and well everyone else got pissed.

We ended up in ‘Simba’s’ doing the kareoke watch and rubbish drinks, with mini eggs. I got mad at Ben for wanting to leave. (He was on his holiday blues and i think i told him to ‘fuck off’ because he was being stubborn and i hate it when i don’t get my own way. I prefer ‘drinking, fun Ben.’ But i did feel bad for being a bratt at him. I’ve apologised text, so that makes it all okay again, right? I’ve also noticed that i don’t like stubborn. Lol. I Things should come easy to people…i mean..Me? HAHAHA.

‘Murga’ had shown up (he was the one with the kareoke watch) and i sang ‘Nick Jonas’ at everyone. Luke was on the Wunna fun bus and was being ace. Dodge returned all ready to have fun fun and after  a bit of ‘Whitney’….i let early, as I had work at 8am in the morning.

Worked all day, feeling knackered. I’ve cuddled the babies, enrolled Ruby into private school, the one that i actually went to…I have a wine and i have one long day left at work, before kicking into the weekend.

I want a sunny, sunny holiday. A surprise. I want to fall in love. I want to be romanced. I saw a hot hot boy, who actually in Pontefract today. I’m nearly a cougar. I’m still wondering why i can’t find my Mr.Right. I mean in my head, i’m the BEST girl any man could EVER be with. I know I am. 🙂

If it’s sunny, i’m going to do the Ackworth gala with Ruby, in Saturday. I have a whole party to organize NOW and i’m auditioning lots and LOTS. I’ll get there in the end. OFFICIALLY SHATTERED.

But first…i have Thursday to get through…

Wunna x

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That’s the catch up…Finally got it out the way.

Now, the blog will be every day and BETTER. 🙂 I’m kinda bored of Ponte now and Ponte boys, Ponte people. There’s always so much drama. Drama that i’m better than. I mean, I’m having a great time and i’m loving it. But i don’t even know who i trust, who i don’t, who adores me, who doesn’t. I’m not sure there’s much sense of loyalty. Hence why i enjoy any chance i can get to celebrate a change of scenery.

Hurrah! Wine for all.

 

 

 

Thank you Mucho

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If you are reading this blog…firstly WELL DONE.

But more importantly THANK YOU.

Reminding you that, you have wonderful taste and that this blog is luckily read on every single continent and in 174 different countries of the world.

It’s translated into 41 languages daily…and has the best, most loyal visitors…in the thousands….monthly.

Thanks for that and all that jelly.

Love you lots.

Chrissie x

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Weaves, Boys, Love

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And i today off work and it’s weird. I want a Pina colada for breakfast, but can’t find it in myself to commit to such a treat, whilst being in ‘not even on holiday’ Pontefract and it not even being noon yet. (I hate that don’t drink til noon shit. I very rarely do what everyone else/statistics or preachers say. Probably why i always find myself in trouble. Lol)

Anyway, i’m about to head to Doncaster to get my hair did. Ruby has just screamed as I walked her into school. (My school drop off is loooong. I had a conversation about it yesterday. Most Mum’s that i see on a morning just get to open a car door and boot their kid out. I have to walk through tennis courts, music centres, across golden oceans, hire a ship, march through an enchanted forest, leap over goblins, fight men in suits and simply to get to where my 4yr old needs to be for school. Then do it all over again. No wonder she tantrums by the time she’s at the end of it all. I tantrum. It makes me need wine.)

Other than that, i’m happy. I’m single. I’m loving it, living it and enjoying eye candy. When it comes to eye candy, i don’t really think there’s much to pick from in Pontefract? I mean i’m looking around and sighing, with ‘dee dums.’ There’s hot men everywhere, yet in this ole town…you’re very very very lucky to maybe spy ONE. I’m not used to that, as Hollywood, even London is FILLED with hotties in every little corner. At this rate, i’ll never find a boyfriend. I chipper and i’m fun. But nothing beats that feeling when you know you don’t have to look any further because you’re MADLY in love and that other part of your party, accidentally feels the same, right? Who has that>? Not me. 🙂 Gimme! Gimme! HAHAHA

i should really set off, as i have a weave to tend to at 11am. I’m knackered because i went to bed at 3am. Why? Because I figured it would be a good idea to drink a bunch of wine, plonk my headphones on and dance like a tool to all sorts.

Yes…

I had a party for one.

Yes,..I am a loser….but a happy loser.

It lasted for ages my party for one Lol…and I don’t even care because in that moment, behind four walls, under the stars, orbiting the sun (haha) one little ‘budget pussycat doll’ was the happiest little kitten in all the land.

Knackered now though. Can you nap whilst you’re getting your hair did, without looking like you’re dead?

Wunna x

Love you.

Chicken Thighs, Fairytales & Stuff

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‘Mum….there isn’t a donkey in Jack in the Beanstalk!!!!!’

‘I thought there was?’

‘It’s a cow. He sold a COW for magic beans?’

‘Oh? I thought it was Daisy the donkey?’

‘Do ya just want ME to read YOU a bedtime story instead?’

And that’s how Rubes and I ended Tuesday. 🙂

God, knows how fairytales work these days? Cow, donkey? Same difference to me. In my life, they all end up the same anyhow…in Divorce or separation. HAHA. I mean, when i was a child my Dad had to inject my  name into every single bed time story in order to hold my actual interest. ‘Chrissie Cinderella/Chrissie Red Riding Hood.’ Now that I am a Mum, I panick because I have no clue what the three little pigs actually did, apart from build houses that some wolf blew down. I kinda just make them up as I go along (don’t all parents) and well my first born doesn’t like it one bit, as she’s oddly kinda a stickler for the rules. (She must get that from Pete.)

Cow..Donkey…whocares? In real life….they’ll be bigger problems than that! ‘Just focus on the *magic beans* part Rubes….’

Okay, so i was meant to blog last night, but my legs decided to hurt so i couldn’t. I don’t know why that meant that I couldn’t type…but it did. It actually meant that I had to eat late night Burmese carbs and drink wine. I think i’m internally panicked…but on the whole i’m happy. Lol.

Today’s a good day because usually i’d be in a mad circus rush, bombing around Wunna land with work clothes, nappies, nursery runs and everything flying through the air. I’ve been working my normal long hours…which is a good thing when it gets to the end of the month…but today I have a late start and an early finish. I KNOW…AS IF! YIPEEEEE! God really must love me to have cut me this much slack.  I’ve actually forgotten how ace it is to actually do things in my own time, instead of having to stick to a very early and very precise schedule. Which is odd as i’ve just returned from a holiday and a brief adventure away down south.

I didn’t even go out last night because i’m gathering my thoughts, keeping calm, being Me, being Mum, checking my Priority tick boxes just enjoying the simple things…which slush cocktails.

It feels like there’s this massive change, like my mind set has jollied up, pulled itself together and got it all right again.

But more importantly….why did i do those late night Burmese carbs?? My things look like Beyonce’s this morning…and although i ADORE Beyonce and her thighs…i just can’t work the look off as well as she can. HAHAHA. Her thighs look like juicy, luxury dipped demons. Mine…well like a late night Pontefract KFC, when you’re pissed. Taste good though, i guess? But who’s fussy at that time. 🙂

Just joking, I think i’m awesome. 🙂

Humility rocks.

Wunna xxxx

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‘S’ is for Summer

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I’m back to working hard and working hard is quite difficult in the Summer, when you’re built of fun bricks, glitter and this ability to be able to charm the masses with a wink. I feel as though everyone’s in a beer garden, when i’m slaving away. I feel as though everyone’s on a sunny, sunny holiday right now, but me *waaaaa*…I feel as though…i need FUN, LOVE, LAUGHTER AND AN ADVENTURE. I want to feel ‘summer’ sizzling through my veins…and i need it bubbling  in me NOW. I mean, I haven’t even had time to check out shirtless joggers, eye candy or the ‘gun show’ display, on what i used to call ‘Perv Monday.’

Right now life is work, babies, bits of fun and flirtation. But i’m ready to be shot out of a canon and to just let life spin me gleefully.

I’m happy. I’m giddy. I’m feeling quite lucky. I mean over the last couple of days, i’ve been the luckiest sod in town and well i’ve ust wiggled, winked and ended up being grateful.

There’s been lots of male attention…nothing too major nothing too exciting…just attention really..and although attention is flattering…and i do enjoy the single life…there is nothing greater than falling for someone madly, who is perfect for you in every way.

Whether it ends good for bad, it’s always hilarious. I just want some chunk of hunk, with this amazing personality, dipped in romance, balance and fun, to pop out of nowhere and adore me..with muscles. (Oh shut it it’s Summer…we can want a bit of ‘arm.’ I love arms on a guy.)

But all i’m saying is that we have a few more weeks to enjoy the Summer and that is what we should ALL BE DOING. Know that the big guy up above will watch over us and guide us through the niggly shit, so we all come up smelling of roses. (I have charm so i don’t need help in that area.)

I’m working all week, but then I have from Friday OFF…ALL WEEKEND!

I can’t wait. The week is flying by. I’m watching Big Brother an Love island like a hawk. I have a wine. Life is great. But i want to OUT JESS on Love island immediately and simply because she needs a good Wunna telling off! And i need to feel up Luis ‘gun show’ simply because i’m sure it’s a neccessity.

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One night in London

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London was awesome! It was great because Jenna and Demi had never ever been to London before, making a simple trip to the Capital a bit more than normal for them. I picked Jenna up at the Bp garage in Ackworth at 11am…(we were wearing the same trainers and she had a leopard print ‘luggage on wheels,’ case black, spots multi coloured. YAY!) Then I drove us to Westgate station, Wakefield, which is all new and bouji now (I usually always go from Doncaster, but now i’d actually consider travelling from Wakey) and after losing my way through the ‘one way’ shite that flows through most cities, I finally got us parked up, tickets in hand and ready to board our train from Platform 1. Yipppeee!

Drinking started IMMEDIATELY.

I did wine for lunch, she did Fosters. We chatted about life, work and tv shows…and as the journey went on…we got drunker and drunker. 🙂

Got off the train…it was HOLIDAY WEATHER and i’m not talking sunny, breezy, Yorkshire weather…I’m talking ‘like we were in Marbella’ weather. It hit us straight away and we couldn’t be happier. The air in London even FELT DIFFERENT that day.

I made sure that I checked into The Great Northern IMMEDIATELY (who straight away knew who i was was from my previous stay and couldn’t have given me BETTER customer service. I swear they know how to treat people in that place. The service is five star.)

As soon as we dumped bags, I demanded that we ordered cocktails…and I swear we must have enjoyed ALMOST every cocktail menu, in the blistering sun, watching the London traffic, outside the Great Northern, taking selfies, filming videos, getting pissed, tanned and watching really drunk ladies fall into our table, on ‘pretending they need them’ crutches. (We got free drinks for that, simply because she spilled all our drinks.  Security were on her within seconds. Dozy dilly, left her crutches by the taxi stand and walked like not a single bone was broken in her legs EVER. Lol)

We couldn’t have gotten treated better. Even a cabbie drove by who used to be a pap, whilst we drank, He shouted my name, head up his camera and waved! We were now pissed on champagne cocktails…and all sorts of other stuff…people were chatting to us, the sun was getting hotter and hotter and life was pretty fantastic.

We were actually waiting for Jenna’s friend Demi to show up, so were worried as she was panicking about her trip ‘down south’ as she had never ever done it before. She got out of work in Leeds on time. She got in the taxi, even got on the right platform in time… but then ofcourse, like the ‘brains’ that she is…she GOT ON THE WRONG FUCKING TRAIN…which was taking her to Birmingham. HAHAH.

She was meant to be in London by six o clock. Instead she took the long route, through Sheffield, long eaton…Timbuktu, Space and Narnia…then finally at 9pm arrived at St Pacras Station…LONDON.

We couldn’t be happier!

Infact, during that time, Jenna and I had actually gotten ready to go out, incase she was super late. Jenna took a bath, in our ginormous luxurious free standing tub. I did SIX PUKES. 🙂 I was soooo drunk and managed to apparently get my HANG OVER, because I stopped drinking…early. My head was banging, I was over the loo vomming…but in a dress by celeb boutique 🙂 ….as Jenna videoed me for kicks. Lol.

Anyway, we went down to meet Demi, who had arrived. We were really excited and couldn’t believe she had made it. Jenna was dressed super glam for her ‘usual,’ so i was super impressed.

We saw her, we found her, we walked her through busy London traffic to the hotel room…I puked some more,s he got ready and we ventured into Central for our night out.

LMFAO.

OH my GOD. I do not ever think that i have ever met a moree drunker chick in my whole entire life. I loved it! I started on the lemonade because I had puked..and i was getting tired. jenna was eager for fun…Demi..well after waiting in lines for nothing, and getting bored we finally ventured to Club or Bar fifty five or whatever…to have some fun.

Great music. Quiet at first. But we didn’t really care, we were in London and we wanted to make the most of it. Lemonade cost five pounds. Drinks were £12 per go..:)…we did eventually get a giant free Grey Goose at a table for FREE…but OMG, DID IT FUCK US OVER GOOD AND PROPER.

Jenna got pissed. (The Grey Goose was strong.) I got my second wind so perked up a treat and wanted to PARTY. And Demi…OH DEMI…the funniest, most drunkest human in the world. I can’t even tell you half the things she said, or did…HAHAHAHAHA  due to her punching me out for it, if i did…but omg, no one is more graceful then falling into every wall within seconds, in neon and the prettiest dress ever…falling down stairs twice and into bouncers…falling into railings, smashing her phone, dropping mine, falling some ore, wibbling  all over by french people, bum feeling…dancing..the works…I mean she was fantastic and the most drunk human ever!

(The boys were hotter in London. Not all of them, yet the boys near us were. 🙂 )

Lots went one, smoking shots, drinking vodka out the bottle, dancing, falling about, boys, life, London drinks and being drunk. (Not as drunk as Demi, but she was so hilarious.) I mean we had to prop her up, so that she looked like a normal ‘hadn’t drank too much’ human JUST so we could get in a cab. HAHAHA.) I let go of her before she got in the cab and Jenna was fuming as Demi just sort of fell into everything within seconds. AHAHA

Girl talk happened. Sex talk. Talks about clits.

Got out the cab right by the hotel…and Mcdonalds was on the menu. I can’t drink and eat as it makes me do pukes. Jenna got food and a slush and GAVE HER FOOD AWAY TO HOMELESS PEOPLE. How lovely. I simply stood quietly and looked glammy, having no fast food and people watching. DEMI, ordered everything on the menu, went outside to pull down her pants and do a full public wee on the pavement lol…and then returned to smear BBQ sauce on her face, eat more chips, burger and chicken strips…

She was actually really cute and jenna and i watched her from a distance as by this time she had wandered off…instead of walking in a straight line to the hotel. I liked Jenna because no matter what she wants to make sure everyone is happy. She’ll go out of her way to make sure everyone is happy, even before herself. I’m the same, but i’m a glamour puss, so sometimes, i’ll put myself first…before minions. HAHAHA.

Demi, in her pretty frock, flat shoes, drunning through what she thought were fountains, with a burger in her hand, wadllign and with BBQ sauce smeared on her face being as ‘Yorkshire’ as can be…just looked HAPPY. Like the happiest soul under the London stars. (Now i’m a drunky. so if i’m shocked at how drunk someone is then you KNOW that they were PROPERLY, hardcore pissed. She can’t even walk now, because she started running as fast as she can in the hotel down the corridor, with Jenna…who warned her not to take part in this random running frenzy.

Demi ran, decided to do some Superwoman leap, that ended in a rolly pollie, down three stairs, pretty much broke her fucking ankle and now can’t walk. 😉 HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

I missed it because i was in bed, in my leopard print nighty refusing to go outside in it, because i was tired and cold. HAHAHA. *Party*

They got back in…Jenna puked, Demi ate Malteasers in bed and smeared T..tree oil all over her face, which made me gip, before bed. We all laid together and well I guess Demi and I fell asleep, because Jenna recorded her snoring. Jenna however, couldn’t settle, she had the telly on, light on, tossed turned and had to take painkillers. HAHAH.

I WAS OUT. I’m old.

Morning came, we all felt okay to say how shit drunk we had been.

We went down for breakfast and did a tiny bit of food..with cocktails. 🙂

I am a bloody mary addict, and it is my ONLY  hangover cure.  Demi was hobbling, Jenna felt rough and we all continued, packing, drinking and waiting for the train.

By 2pm we were sat on the train, all on separate seats..all falling asleep…all every different to out journey up. HAHA. But you know you’re all comfortable when you can all do your own thing and know the others are all okay. 🙂

We were knackered.

The only time we woke up was when the buffet cart came.

We got off the train and well couldn’t believe that we managed to enjoy one random crazy day and night in London, where everyone else we knew, just did work, went to bed and woke up again. 🙂

Demi hobbled off into a cab, and I drove Jenna and I home.

That was London.

i’ve been at work since, juggling, life, day job, babies, pouting, tanning and all sorts.

Talk to you soon…

Off to bed. x

Wunna x

London Bound

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I have had the most amazing week! I’ve sort of sauntered out of the luxury forest cabin, into life and done it with a wiggle and a wink,

i’ve have moments of stress, but on the whole it’s been filled with ‘busy,’ fun and laughter. My work week has flown by, to the point where I can’t even believe that an ‘almost’ week has gone by and that I have tomorrow off work, simply to travel up to London with Jenna at noon, in order to celebrate life.

We were meant to be at the Forbidden Nights VIP boat party, tomorrow night. However, the boat that the boys were going to be performing on got HIT, meaning that if the show went ahead…we all would’ve drowned and sunk. (It’s like a budget version of Titanic…with strippers.) They got in boats and held onto random wooden planks. We’d have to leap onto to muscle bound strippers and make them swim the Thames to save our glitzy souls. Lol. Angie, who i worked with, stated that i’d be blowing down all the wrong ‘pipes’ to blow my life jacket up. ‘Why isn’t it working?’ I’d never mistake willies for air vest pipes…? I don’t think, anyhow? 😉

But yes, i wake up tomorrow, well today if you’re reading this and it’s Friday, I go pick Jenna up from Ackworth and we head to Wakefield to gallop on a train and get ourselves to London.

I’m making us drink all the way. (Yes, we’re still going, even though we now have to wait to watch the boys do stripping.) We’re going to selfie, video and make the most of London times. I mean, I go to London a lot, simply to cocktail. So we’ll have an awesome time regardless.

I’ve blagged us a VIP table at Libertine as an option..as you always have to have an option. Yet even doing normal drinks in London is just as ace as anything! I LOVE IT. It’s an adventure. Something new. Something to make our own.

We’ll be staying at The Great Northern Hotel. (They love us there and the service is fantastic.) And well…i just can’t wait to get up and running, with Jenna from da block. (Demi her besties will be meeting us later at around 7pm.)

In life, you’ve got to make the most of shit and take adventures. I’ve just come off a luxury British holiday, but Jenna has worked her ARSE off to the point where she NEEDS this Friday for a blowout.

I can’t wait.

Get me on that train to the Capital!

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