Right! Okay! I’m almost there! I’ve got a day off today, which means….work, work, work! Lol. I didn’t sleep at all last night because my mind was just filled with thought and when it got to 3.37am…i forced myself some shut eye, knowing that Rubes would need me to be up shortly and also be that happy, ‘mama’ of excitement that she relies on each day! My mind was so full, that i needed to empty it and i couldn’t find anything anywhere, that was enough to place it on ‘chill.’ I talked to strangers, bought handbags, called the bank, moaned, laughed, weeped a little. Everything just to declutter the old brain box. I even did wine…but there i was, in the living room, in the quiet, by a Christmas tree December 2nd 2014.
Today, my lash line will be available for you to buy online. I can finally get to do it all because of this day off…and we i’m really excited, simply because it’s my own thang! My own company. My own passion and business. It’s just the first five hundred lashes for Christmas, like i told you, as we prep for New Year. But…you should all grab a pair…(of lashes, not balls) and go forth with your kitten esque winks!
Y’know, what i realized last night is that sometimes in life you just need to quit thinking, let go of that unnecessary thought and be free. Just ‘do’ and live in the present. In the moment. This is gonna sound preachy but it’s not meant to come out that way. it’s all about going with your heart and gut instinct and not littering that heart flow with too much thought,. Too much thought ruins natural creativity and passion. AND that’s how doubt, fear, negativity and all that jolly stuff creeps in. Go with your heart because your head will make you judge yourself. Then have a rum and be happy. 🙂 Once i get thinking, then i’m a swine. I work well under pressure. Outstandingly well. But i doubt myself when i think too hard and because my brain works pretty well to be honest. I’m kinda not the ‘bimbo’ that everyone seems to want me to be. Even though i ‘play’ to enable my charm to radiate at times…underneath all that is this little Burmese, privately educated, daughter of two doctors, geek. 🙂 With a touch of the sexy…and a what folk call ‘pretty’ exterior, due to too much bronzer and eyeliner. 😉 OH AND EYELASHES!!
Now, i’m not saying that all though is wrong. I’m just assuming that you’re not complete idiots and do think. 🙂 (Nice, tough. PR Queen. LOL.) And, there are times when thought coming into things…is great. Like, i’m sure those naked boys on horse sticks, in Doncaster, running through busy traffic ended up with a trip to the coppers. 🙂 A bit of thought would’ve been good there. HAHAH. YET, don’t think and prep so much that you talk yourself out of greatness. It’s the moment that matters, because it is the energy that you feel in that moment, that will create your future.
I believe i’m gonna be great at business and that my eyelashes are gonna do well. I know that. I’ve worked hard on them. Yet, i’m trying to remain open hearted….because (and i guess you can mirror this with your love lives) once you close that flow of open heart…you’re fucked.
In my love life, when i was young and innocent…i loved like i had never ever been hurt and it felt wonderful. That ‘little girl’ or ‘little boy’ feeling of excitement and romance is the key to happiness. We all start with that and then stuff happens, which messes with that natural ‘ooh laa’ of love…and we become different people. Like, i went from being this innocent little girl, (and i was that girl with my first husband Michael, before we got divorced) to this Hollywood (because i lived in Hollywood at the time) into this sexy vixen of feisty vampage. During that time, where i was being applauded for such ‘party girl..man eating’ behaviour…and when everyone thought i was at my strongest..i wa actually at my weakest because, i’m girly..really girly…but naturally masculine when it comes to love. Which is’t great. I’m a strong girl. A really emotionally strong chick and i tend to take over when in relationships because i always feel the need to protect, nurture and be ‘warrior’ esque, for nay man that i’m dating. That’s the wrong way around because my actually being is very girly and innocent. Balance is what matters so for me, what i have to learn in relationships is to place on my ‘kitten gloves’ more and let the man be the man. Instead of ME trying to control…protect…provide..hunt and be ‘Army.’ Everything comes from a good place, as i’m not naturally nasty,. I’m warn hearted and giggly. I just need to tone t down. AND YOU SEE…because i am ‘ARMY Strong’ and one of those girls that can handle anything, it’s the soft sensitive boys that find me and love me, as i fill their void of needing to be cared for and looked after emotionally and they fill my void of needed to love, care and protect. (I don’t know how i’ve got onto this, a i’m meant to be talking about lashes.)
But i’m happy now and i feel great. I got this whole thing down, memo-ed…the lot! 🙂 I think after my first divorce in LA….when my heart was open..i was hurt and all so i closed it down that flow…just temporarily. Then i did the romancing all the boys thing..and i felt mighty…I was strong, i didn’t care, i never felt heartbroken, i was in power. But i couldn’t go anywhere with it, as you need your heart channel flowing, in order to succeed.
Lots of stuff has happened since then and i reopened my heart, became a mum…got myself back on track….loved….lived and romanced. Then with Keiran…towards the end…even through this year when i no longer believed that he cared, as i’m a chick you loves to be adored….i turned off the heart channel tap again and didn’t feel. Just shut off that area of my life…I concentrated on work, myself and the babies.
In the last months of life going well…not my love life…just life in general and being having dreams, turning them into a success and being around amazing people and my family…that heart tap opened itself. I’m now in a really great place because i know i can feel again because i’m filled with joy constantly, i’m never ever stressed, i’m laughing every day and because of that…great things have been happening.
That’s how i KNOW my lash line is going to do well.
So, before i sort it out and get it all up for you…here’s a quick back track. It’s sort of like a ‘behind the scenes.’
If i could some my 2002 to 2014 up in one jolly cheer…it would be THIS!