So, they did it!!
Wazza & Hannah are OFFICIALLY married and we were all there to see it! I definitely did a sick when i got home, meaning that not only was it a great wedding, with the absolute BEST MUSIC EVER, but it also underlines the fact that Wazza has ALWAYS stated that I can never ever hang out with him without PUKING. 🙂 He wins! Puked about 4 times…and luckily in the back of my Mum’s new car, so my car it still fresh as a daisy. 🙂
Right…i’ve known Wazza since school and pretty much saw him every day of our entire schooling life at Ackworth, not ever knowing that one day he may choose to settle down with a definite Queen of Aceness, have a family, a business, be running two homes…and well…all i can say is that the boy done good! Yeah…we didn’t do as good as some of the souls that Ackworth School ventured and studied at the darling Pontefract boarding school…but when it comes to life…real life…we did great! I don’t think i’ve seen him as happy, in love (and i’ve always known that he was a love bunny…one of the good guys, someone who deserves the best) as i saw him on Saturday. He was all grown up and beaming…and it sort of made everyone in the entire vicinity remember our childhoods with each other…and smile at how far we’ve all come. Hannah looked beautiful…and well any bride that requests tracks by boyband ‘Five’ on their wedding dance floor is my FAVOURITE! She looked happy. She looked really happy. And as I scanned the room at their family, the guests…and just the life that was swirling around me….i knew that they had a love that would last forever and I was so HONOURED to be there to witness the big old ‘sign off’ to the land of ‘forever.’
Right. I got to the church LATE. If you don’t know my mum…she is late to everything. I’m early to everything. So, it was really annoying that Ruby and I arrived there AFTER the bride had arrived…and right before they did their vows! For some reason my mum was sure that there wedding was at some other venue…so even though I was grateful for being driven…(meant i could drink..and later do a sick) it was kinda frustrating to not be in the right place….
BUT the main this is …that WE GOT THERE. Ruby and I snook in through the back, side stepped across to a corner to refrain making a scene…(this was after old friend Amber has suggested we should, as she was trying to persuade her loin fruit to return to the church.) I love Amber, so it was a great first face of comfort to see. When you’re late to shit…you need that face in order to feel better about life.
WE GOT THERE and I saw the vows! Everything was beautiful and soothing. I scanned the church….surprised that I didn’t burst into flames really…but yes… there everyone was…faces and memories from parts of growing up…yet we were all now grownups ourselves, with wives, husbands…and babies galore. Everyone had a ‘Mini me,’ or a ‘better half’ attached to them. Everyone still sort of looked the same. However, Instead of being 17 and listening to rock bands in dodgy Ponty pubs…we were all suited, booted and grown ups…watching Wazza and Hannah, to their round of ‘I do’s.’ LOVED IT.
The thing about weddings is that they’re ace if you are the people getting married and always good to watch when it’s someone close to you. However, when they do their picture taking…and the love part, the guests, even though we all kinda know each other..have to do this shuffle around, outside, making polite conversation with one another, not really knowing what’s going on, what to say to each other…or what’s happening, where? 🙂 It was funny. People were just side stepping and nodding at others with smiles…and trying to figure out what to do with themselves. Plus, if you haven’t seen some people in ages…you feel all shy when you first speak to them. Well i do anyway! But it was really good to see everyone. Even when sober. 🙂
Luckily, it all eased up…and when travelling to the Yorkshire Sculpture park occurred for champagne, the party part and posh snacky bits, before the dinner…everyone lightened up a bit, got drunk…and got chatty!! During the waiting period, Ruby tried to scope off to Team Sally/Dale, as they looked like they would be better parents! 🙂 Lindsey and I just got drunk on ‘waiting’ champagne, before the speeches. In fact everyone did. In fact, even the tray holder did, as I’m sure one chick smashed a couple glasses by accident and had to plonk up a bright yellow ‘caution wet floor’ sign. LMAO.
I guess, it’s the thing we all do best. The thing that connects us as beings or friends. 🙂 The party, banter…drinking.
I was sat at Table 10.
..which was quite obviously the ‘misfit’ table. Either the late RSVPs’ the people you don’t know what to do with…or the people who you reckon would get on best. I loved it. Tabel 10 rocked. Katty however, who was the Best Man’s date…which if you’re a chick, you know sort of sucks and simply because the Best Man, gets all the TOP TABLE glory and you have to roam around getting pissed on your own…on the last table…on the table that SHE stated was for ‘RETARDS.’ 🙂 Haha. I mean, she even asked Wazza why she had to sit on the ‘retard table’ and Wazza just looked at her and said, ‘Why do you have to ask?’ Lol
However, ‘Table Retard’ ended up being awesome because out of nowhere, the table wine begins…my child is pulling every glow stick out of every box she can find and bringing it to the table…some electronic metal cig, that looked like a vibrator was being passed around the table, like it was a Hooka, a peace pipe, or just custard cream flavoured legal drugs…and then all I hear is whisper…’Wunna…Oi…Wunna! D’ya want some rum?’
Then like magic, i was told to pass my bouji wine glass to the other end of the table, where it was spiritually filled with straight rum, from ‘under the table,’ by Katty…Before you know it, we were all toasting out handbag rum, then being forced to ‘down’ it in order to look cool.
Unfortunately that opened up the ‘open talk’ and well we all then KNEW WHY we had been placed at such a table together, because we were Table Inappropriate people. ALL the people who would ruin everything, say stupid shit to family members…and be rebellious in some way that would make the married couple look bad. HAHAHA. We then talked shit, got more drunk, ate bread, watched Birch make his son be posh, guessed Ruby’s ethnicity, made fun of one another, in a ‘below the belt’ fashion, smoked more custard creams and then i bought shots for the table. Lots of shots.
We got drunk, congratulated the bride and groom..then DANCED. WE ALL DANCED THE NIGHT AWAY TO THE BEST WEDDING MUSIC EVER!
I’m not kidding it was the best wedding music ever and it was sort of like we were all 17 again…all the other halves and children seemed to be doing their own thing. Ruby was dancing away…she loved the wedding so much that she wants it to be her theme at her next birthday party. Lol. The apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree. 😉 Anything grown up Ruby loves…so she had the best time ever and LOVED all the guests. I did catch her trying to drink champagne though, mid ‘Shaggy’ track. You don’t drink champagne…not to Shaggy tracks anyway.
GREAT! GREAT! AWESOME NIGHT. Loved seeing Hannah and Wazza become ‘one.’ (That sounds dodgy…lol…I mean MARRIED. I don’t ever want to imagine Wazza putting out. I’m sure it’s all nipple tassles.) It was great hanging out with everyone again…i’m weirdly missed them. Amber, Abbi, Ginger Dan, Chris, Dale, Sally, Rich…well, i can’t be arsed to go through the entire list of people,..but it felt great! It was lovely seeing Wazza’s family. I mean his Mum and Dad are familiar faces of my childhood, whenever i used to stay over at Wazza’s, they had to put up with me as a teen. I wasn’t a bad teen…when i was in school anyhow. I remember that we’d spend all day at school together and then call each other all night…so our parents phone bills were sky high. Mine must have been as I used to fall asleep still on the phone to Waz…and i have no idea what we’d talk about? I love his Mum and Dad. I adore all hsi family. They’re great people. I mean they even let my family kidnap him and take him to Disneyland for kicks, mid ‘A’ levels. Plus, it was awesome to see the babies!! Everyone’s little bambino!!! 🙂 🙂 I loved it! We proper grown ups now.
But yes…you’re getting it. Had an ace time.
And well you know you have a good husband when this conversation happens:
Hannah: ‘Chrissie. Thank you for bringing the puppies.’ 😉
Wazza: ‘What puppies?’
Now, that is a good man! 🙂
When I have more pics…i’ll plonk them up!