Moving…

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Today, I feel like superwoman. Well..if superwoman was Burmese, in knickers, and with a teddy bear. But yeah…i rock.

I’ve successfully completed a whole days work, sorted out a meeting with my solicitor, in regards to the drama I’m going to have to saunter through with Junior and his father. I’ve ordered a skip, hired storage space and rented a man with a van for removals. πŸ™‚ The rubbish thing about being a girly girl, a glamour puss and having no male partner. is the simple fact that you don’t have a gent to do all the packing, lifting and moving for you. I have to do it all myself.

HOWEVER, the great thing about being Chrissie Wunna is the simple fact that i’m not broke. So before 9.15am, I paid for others to come to my aid. Paid for skip, paid for 4 weeks storage, when I only need it for one (it was the minimum amount…) and then hired a man named Mike to take my heavy lifting from my own home,whilst i’m out…to the storage unit..which is literally just across the street. πŸ™‚ This is why ALL WOMEN NEED TO BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT. It sure as hell helps if you have rubbish arms like moi…you need to be able to rely on your own funds…(if you are man less) in order to get the normal ‘guy’ stuff done. I felt all independent and powerful today. Nothing feels great than being daunted by a task, yet within minutes getting it all sorted for yourself. It felt good.

Anyway…i’m finding moving house awful. πŸ™ It’s really sad because there’s memories, memories everywhere and you sort of don’t realize those memories until you find yourself leaving them behind and packing your belongings, that don’t mean a thing into big brown boxes.

There was a point where Ruby was frantically jumping on the bed in utter excitement, screaming with happiness, due to the fact that we’re going to a new house and Junior was crawling about the floor giggle and wiggling. I thought I was fine, as I stood in the middle of the room, by a giant brown cardboard box, folding clothes up to place into storage. Then I paused and like magic, it’s almost as if everything paused around me, as I looked around the room in slow motion.. πŸ™

I remembered teaching Ruby AND Junior how to crawl in this house..how to say their first words. I remember Ruby refusing to sleep in her own bed. I remembered bringing home baby Junior for the very first time. I remembered the home being filled with wedding favours… filming in the house….i remembered falling in love in this house and coming back a wife. I remembered Pete before we broke up being anger that I hurt him. I remembered the laughter, the giggles, the sharing of dreams within these four walls. I remembered doign my face every single morning and rubbing my bump through the pregnancy. I remembered the flowers I used to recieve and the cuddles that i used to have on the sofa. I remembered the fights, throwing tantrums, clothes and wine drinking, I remembered the love, the tear…the panic, stress. I remembered Ruby’s first laughter and her dance routines. I remember feeling safe, feeling sorry, sunbathing last Summer, as I waited for my bump to turn into bambino. I remembered everything, it all spun around me or was acted out right in front of me by my imagination. I relived it all.

Then I remembered…him. I remembered the fighting of course and the way he left and the awful times. Yet it was all out shone by the love, the memories, the smiles, the cuddles and the sharing of dreams. We used to always talk about what and where we wanted to be in life…we grew babies, we shared dinners, sofa snuggles and love. I remembered us packing for our forest holidays, him dressing for golf and biking. I remembered the way he used to look at me when he loved me. I remembered Christmas’s and all the time we spent with Ruby. I remembered Pete always showing up on the patio door. I remembered everything…it made me really sad, so sad that i had tears rolling dowm my cheeks and I didn’t even realise.

Y’see, your sad memories even become happy ones in the end, because memories are so precious. They’re what you treasure. For the first time in a while and because i’ve refused to feel it and instead blocked it out with smiles for the babies…i felt heartbroken.

It felt like it was an end of an era, as I parcel taped shut the last box and cut the end off with a pair of baby nail scissors. It calmed me in a way. It made me see things differently.

Tomorrow is a new day.

I’m moving…

Lets do this… πŸ™‚

 

 

The Moments that matter

 

WHAT A WEEK! I’ve literally been so busy and quite so stressed that I did what any champion would do, in a moment of absolute desparation… which is dust myself off, close the doors on even the thought of a pity party, place on my stilettos and with a smile on my face and my ‘working brain’ head in tact, get back on that horse and with a ‘chaaaarge’ face and a warrior strength GALLOP forward at the speed of light, a heart filled with wholeness and wait for it….SUCCEED!

Today was a GREAT DAY. I did it. Now, I can’t tell you what as of yet. But I did it. I DID IT. And I say it with relief because like I said this month has been a difficult one and where as most people, or some people would give in, give u or toss it off with a gallon of vodka. I didn’t. I got with life, made it my friend, used my brain and with the cleanest of acts…and the heart of lion…fought and WON! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ Like I said in a previous blog, i’m a good person to call when the shit hits the fan, when you have a mASSIVE problem and pretty much because i’m like a soldier. I can handle it and always with a victory. Today, I feel great! Good things happen to good people.

But yes, a week of drama, anger, tears, stress, but weirdly happiness. Of course it all began with love life drama. I was verbally abused and simply by a being who well i guess either jealous, hurt or has issues. I always feel lucky because I have everything, beautiful children to come home to, a great day job, my own business about to launch, a loving and supportive family…brains…looks ;)…lol..the list is endless. πŸ™‚ When people try and destroy that with their own misery, it makes me mad. But first it’s makes me cry. Lol. I had a big cry at the start of the week, but my own baby daughter, saw me by accident, walked up to me, sat on my knee and wiped the tears from my eyes, whilst saying, ‘I love you sooo much. Don’t be sad. Watch me hop. It’ll make you happy.’ πŸ™‚

In that moment…i realized how great I have it. The ‘almost’ pity party got frisbeed out the window, i grabbed my armour and I marched forward. The weak give in, the strong find solutions. I have an amazing little girl. She did everything she could think of to make sure I was okay that night. (Wrong way around, but we have a great bond. Oh and don’t worry, i’m not usually that weird weepy mum. πŸ™‚ She even said she’d sleep in MY bed in order to make me feel loved. AWWWWW! She has great genes. A diva, but with such a loving, gentle soul.)

Okay, the morning i woke up and everything changed, I was happy, dynamic and not letting anything get me down. I was secretly stressed, going through a lot that no-one knows about but my family…but i smiled all the way through it. I don’t Β take drama to work. I stayed in focus. It worked.

Then for the rest of the week I noticed life. All kinds of life and like never before. I saw a young girl. She was probably 20 something and well she found herself stood in front of me with a coffee in her hand. She must’ve needed someone o talk to or just felt that she could say it to me….she didn’t know me. Anyway, in her life at that moment, she looked at me and said, ‘I’ve just found out that my boyfriend cheated on me.’ She said it gently but frankly…as though she was fine, yet disgusted…like we girls do. Yet when she found the words leaving her lips, her eyes filled up with ‘couldn’t help it’ tears and it was then when I saw her soul and realized how hurt she was. If her boyfriend actually noticed and cared to realize how much she cared for him, then he wouldn’t have been so selfish. Men are often blinded and filled with anger, ego and idiocy. They do stupid things that they live to regret. If he had seen her face in that moment, he would’ve felt like shit.

Then, on another day i was walking past a tanning salon and thing little granny came up to me (grannies love me, but only random ones)..she hobbled up to me, all fragile, beautiful and delicate and asked if I could walk her across the road, as it looked really busy.AWWW! HOW SWEET! I mean, things must be pretty bad when you’re only hope for safety is ME. Yet to her, in that moment of her life, I was her savoir. Her actual choice to help her. And as soon as I said, ‘Yes of course,’ she hoked her tiny little arm in mine and we carefully crossed the road together. I’d never felt happier. I even glowed. This week, I noticed life.

I saw the good things, with the bad things and really saw the things that we all take for granted on a daily. It made me realize how lucky i was. I’m surrounded by wonderful people, who all love, help and respect me. I have such great support. And my children. I have the most amazing kids. Even today Junior belly laughed so hard he trumped, with a giggle, a cuddle as he snuggled into my boob and a ‘oh mama.’ I have amazing children.

But yes, there was so much I needed to tell you, but obviously i can’t fit it in. Plus, i have another big week of work AND I’M MOVING HOUSE. Pete’s been lovely. The other day he was so worried when he dropped Ruby off, because he wanted to help me look after BOTH babies until my mum came. Bless him. How sweet.

Infact, if i wrote this blog at the beginning of the week, it would’ve been filled with hate and anger…Yet after doing my week and realizing how many great people i have around me in comparison to the shitty people…i’ve forgotten and forgiven about all that and let my inner, natural positive Wunna flourish. I’m naturally a positive person. I’m naturally quite strong and lucky. I have no idea where I get it from…but I do. I feel like the girl who has everything right now, whereas on Monday, I felt like the girl who had nothing…and only because someone who felt rubbish wnated me to feel rubbish to make themselves feel more powerful. I’m not like that by nature…because I don’t have to be.

Today…well yesterday I met a really great person…one of those people that you just don’t think existed, yet due to good karma, happen to pop onto your path, just when you needed them to.

Due to this person, all the stress of the week, the month, the everything…faded away.

Good things happen to good people and good people arrive on the paths of those who deserve them.

Nighty night!

Busy week ahead.

Ps/ Wrote all this in the dark, on Ruby’s bed, because she needed me to sit by her until she feel asleep. πŸ™‚ #themomentsthatmatter

 

 

 

 

 

Leaving it to Fate…

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So, i worked all the way through the bank holiday, moaned all the way through it, yet was merry in the fact that I had lined my glitzy pocket with more dollar to make life that little bit more delicious. Then I got excited about holiday booking. We do that don’t we? I mean, I when i resided in tinsel town, I never used to get that excited about holiday booking, as life was one long, fabulous holiday. However, now that i’m working much harder, funding the lives of my loin fruit and doing it wonderfully..and in heels…i now quite enjoy a break. I can’t wait. Sunshine here I come. It’ll be the babies FIRST abroad holiday and well i plan to go twice this year. I’ve finally got to the ‘babies more grown up’ stage, meaning life is much much easier. Now i can thunder through money making with a *Ka Pow.* (I’m exhausted but i have so much help, that i’m lucky. Plus, working bank holiday was ace. I enjoyed great banter with new faces.)

Other than that i’m on a countdown, under glitzy pressure, but going to ace it like a champion. I’m honoured to have a ho neck. My neck is FABULOUS now, after thyroid surgery. I feel all swan like…and less like Frank Bruno. The rash is saying ‘good bye’ after steroid cream kicked it’s arse and well i’m feeling rested, happy and together. One of the great things about working the bank holiday is simply the fact that everyone has gone back to work and moaning today and well i’m HOME! Yippppeeee! Day off much. (I’m sat with Ruby packing. I’m proud of her because she’s super good at throwing things out. She’s ploughed through her toys and chosen to lob a fairly grand deal of them in the giveaway box. Lol. SEE!! I’ve raised a good girl, not a material girl after all. )

I’m quite busy and going through a lot, but i’ve cut myself away and plonked my merry, focused self in my own little bubble of life. I’m loving it..and well when i pop open, life will be AMAZING. Like the psychic said, April has been heavy…but i’ve almost done it. Apparently i’m ‘dancing around Maypoles’ next month, symbolizing happiness and good times. I’m so glad that it’s metaphoric as i’d hate to be putting my back out around a goddamn Maypole….literally. πŸ™‚ I’ve almost got through April!!!! I’m breathing, i’ve worked MY ARSE OFF and well the results, with my heart in the right place, should be exactly the way I want it.

I mean, what can you do, other than live and hope life gives you choices that makes you smile in the long run…

 

HAPPY EASTER

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HAPPY EASTER FOLKS!

Yes! I’ve finally made it to my day off…even though I had one on Wednesday! πŸ™‚ However, as i’ve said i’m weirdly more of an academic or an entertainer than I am one who has her forte in the art of tedious labour. πŸ™‚ I love it though…even though yesterday was super busy and it got to the point where it seemed everything was difficult. I kept getting ‘dagger’s off people, who didn’t quite understand how long i had been working for. πŸ™‚ I princess smiled at them…and then got on with it, as I clock watched.

Drank LOADS OF WINE last night and enjoyed every minute!

Woke up this morning, looked at holidays that i’m going to book and then ‘Yeah baby’ I FINALLY got to snuggle my babies and welcome them into EASTER! I have a big family day today. Grandma, Grandad, my brother, my cousins etc…the babies…we’re all lunching and spending time together in the name of some religious holiday..even though we’re Buddhist. I can’t wait to see my baby niece Holly and well any time Easter comes around or any holiday at that point, it’s always ace as it’s just another thing that brings families closer together. I couldn’t really get much closer to my family, as we are as tight as we could be. However, Easter is all about having chocolate for breakfast and enjoying it with your family…after an easter egg hunt. All ace! All happy!

I’m knackered. I’ve done my ankle in. But i’m loving. I can’t WAIT TO GO ON HOLIDAY! Booking shortly. AND i’m also moving, yet that seems to be taking ages, as i’m far too lazy to pack boxes. That’s why I always travel light. Keiran has said that he would help, after he talked to me on the lawn, a we sat in the sun. I made a heart out of a dandelion and he discussed us maybe ‘future re-dating’….with a SAW IN HIS HAND. Hardly comforting. Lol

Anyway, i’m not thinking about any of that, as i have too much on. I just don’t know where to place him really? Good guy? Bad guy? A guy who attempts to use charm to get what he wants? Or a Β genuine human being? Bottom line…he told me that we still had feelings for one another…and that he’s like to see Junior more.

I set him on a probation run with Junior on Friday, to see what he would do, and what actions he’d put into place afterward. I mean parenting isn’t just one day or a few hours with your baby. It’s consistency. It’s being a parent even when you don’t have your baby with you. How you choose to live your life, your surroundings, your actions….ALL MATTER, when the bambino’s are around you and when they are absent.

Consistency and stability is what he certainly is lacking and Β they should come hand in hand with love, loyalty and all that other good stuff….they are the two things i’m trying to see in him, as he’s set a poor example of it in the past. I mean think of how hideous he was from September 2013 to…well March. πŸ™‚

But i’m opened minded and i’ll see. The old raomantic, stable, loving Keiran back is what I fell for. So ‘Team Keiran’ doesn’t have a chance in hell when it comes to Wunna land. I just feel as though he was only loving and nice to me the other day simply so he could windle his way to having Junior. I haven’t heard from him since he got what he wanted. #verytelling And this is a guy who will text and call me every day…even when on holiday.

BUT ANYWAY….all that will make me need a gin…

I’m back working tomorrow, so i’m going to enjoy my time with the family! LUCKY ME!

LOVE YOU ALL.

HAVE A HAPPY EASTER!!

PS/ A guy…a 68 year old guy asked me if i wanted to practice sex on him yesterday, proving that men never grow up.

 

Gooood Friday

Glamour pusses, gents and…well whoever else is reading, no matter where in the world you reside! I honestly believe that I am the ONLY person in the entire world having to work all the way through Easter, like a little money making, knees are killing, Bunny elf, who is watching everyone sips vino in beer gardens, wear shorts and enjoy family, sunshine with a side of Easter!

Ofcourse I’m dramatic. Yet i literally only have Sunday off, which is utterly dedicated to ‘doing Easter’ with the babies (and i can’t wait)..however other than that, I worked today, i’ll work tomorrow…the next day i’m free, yet bank holiday Monday…I’M WORKING. On my own! Lol. The good thing is they’re be moola in my sequinned pocket. So i won’t moan. The bad thing is…there’s no bad thing, I just like having a moan. I like money making. Plus, I do actually get Sunday off, making my time with the babies Greatness. This time a few years ago i was sat in someones appartment an an air mattress drinking champagne. I made no money that day. Just a memory. This time I can shout ‘Cha’ching’ at the Easter bunny. Easter Smeaster. I’m not even religious. Good Friday to me is just a day where you’re good? I mean, Lord knows it has anything to do with the Crucifixion of Jesus or anything. πŸ˜‰ I enjoy how half of the children in the nation don’t even know what Easter is about!?! I was told this morning that they thought it was Easter Bunny’s birthday. Lol. Nevermind, it’s not something you really NEED to know. Plus, ‘Blond Emma is birthing the new Jesus anyhow. Yeah, she’s overdue and waiting for her baby to arrive. I told her to do vindaloos and booty shaking…However, I then realized that I went far too ghetto on her, as she was on her birthing ball doing pineapple. (Not very ethnic. πŸ™‚ ) I hope her baby boy pops out soon. I’m so excited but i know how shitty she must be feeling right now. the overdue waiting stage sucks balls. (And no-one really likes that…not even the really insecure girls. πŸ˜‰ )

The babies are currently out having a blast in the sun. I’ve just got home form work..so i’m having a wine and a ‘feets up.’ I still have a rash. Sexy, i know. But i’m being a bit more open minded about things these days. It seems the grey clouds are a lifting. My mum told me off for being negative last night. Yet if i’ve worked all day and need to be in bed by 9pm and have the babies to look after..the last thing I want to do at midnight is hold happy conversation, when i’m knackered. I’m old now, i can’t do late nights and work early. Lol. I adore my mum. I’d be lost without her. But like all mums and no doubt my two bambino’s will say it about me, (do ya Yorkshire accent here) she dunt half go on…

Lash line, lash line…so excited. Working hard. Very happy about that, Slooowly moving. Cheers to that. Still staring at flat packed boxes that i haven’t lifted a single finger to open and fill yet. πŸ™‚ I’m such a glamour puss that I find it really hard to tend to ‘men’s work.’ πŸ™‚

On the Keiran front…i can’t decide if he’s a good natured person or a bad, charming, manipulative person. It’s troubling me as it will decide a lot once i’ve figure it out. It he a being that always has an agenda. Or is he genuine, ind and loving? I don’t know anymore? I’m so misted over with it.

Yet it’s not a concern right now, as i have a lot on. Id everyone else working through Easter? No? Dint’ think so. Annoying. πŸ™‚

I love you, i thought i’d whop out a quick blog before wine and whilst the babies are out. (My babies are ACE. I adore them!)

I think my eyelash has just fallen off (no i’m not wearing my own today πŸ™‚ ) when that happens…it certainly means it’s time to log off.

C-ya, love ya..

Wish me luck…

Bye!

 

 

 

 

 

 

It Ain’t Easy Being Square

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Being a square is dead hard!

So, here’s the story…I decided to grab the bull by it’s horns and venture off to find boxes myself. I’m quite ‘do it now’ if i get an idea, so waiting was not an option. I’m like that with everything, hair appointments, therapy appointments :)…life. (I don’t go to therapy. Made that up.)

Anyway, dashed into town, all sunny, with Little Mix not playing on my radio. (Don’t you just hate it when you’re waiting for a song to come on and it never does. Annoying.) Busy as hell. It suddenly got chilly, paid 50p to park (bingo) and ran off to buy large moving boxes…just a couple to start me off.

Firstly…HOW HARD IS IT BEING A SQUARE!!! Oh my GOD! I didn’t realise that purchasing giantly, LARGE moving boxes….that are handed over to you all flat packed, in a ginormous square like form ,would cause such a nuisance, once it was time to strut with them! Holy shit! I edged out of that store, with my faux fur handbag clinging onto my little rash Burmese hands, with a GIANT SQUARE covering my EVERY INCH OF BEING..like a sail of a homeless, cardboard…ship? It wasn’t very Captain Jack Sparrow. It was more ‘Bouji Homeless’ person…who maybe had money. Do they exist?

Anyway, edged out of the store..couldn’t see me for shit. Edged into people, grannies, teenagers, benches. It’s still sunny, but a little windy..not good with a giant sail. I’m all square and all cardboard..attempting to cross roads, with my arms stretched to their absolute maximum either side, with m tiny fingers gripping at the ends of the flat packed boxes and my face imprinted in the centre of the cardboard. I’m edging right…tottering left. Re-huffing up the boxes and fiddling. It’s now hurting m arms. (Remember i have rubbish working arms. I can’t even carry empty cardboard, flat packed boxes. πŸ™‚ ) And anyway, I finally got to my car, but all i could think about at that precise moment was the fact that it must be really difficult being a square? (Bimbo moment.)

Got ot my car. Should be happy. But I then couldn’t figure out how to make it fit in my car??? Spend ages putting the pieces of the puzzle together. (I have no common sense when it comes to the menial and somewhat tedious tasks in life. I was only built for luxury and pleasure…and instructing others.) Finally figured it out. Couldn’t see ANYTHING out my back window…but drove home anyway! Got here in one piece….even had time to purchase low carb snacks. πŸ™‚ Then my hair fell out and annoyed me. So to make myself feel better, i booked myself a Doctors appointment for my rash to make sure that I don’t have scabies. It’s getting a bit gross now.

I’ve left the boxes in the back of the car simply because I can’t be bothered to sort through everything now. I’m knackered. Lol. I need to use my days off wisely and right now cottage pie seems a better option.

I’ve also just realized that it’s 2pm and well Keiran hasn’t been during my absence to get his lawn mover and other random stuff that he had outside, before it lands in a skip. I’m rubbish at saving things for people. I’ll just throw it out. Lol. Things have been really odd and tense between us of recent, even when i’ve been ignoring him. It’s like no matter how hard we try, our line of connection keeps boinging back at us, even when we snip away at it, as hard as we can. I thought that by cutting off all contact, he would be forgotten about. Instead…now i have a rash. Thanks Cupid.

So, yeah anyway… today I learnt, not to ever be a square, or buy things that don’t fit in my car. And to always get someone else to pack all your stuff up for you. πŸ™‚

Love You Mucho.

Wunna x

ps/ I just re-read that ‘move out’ text that Keiran sent me and it made me cry. Aug 28th 2013, go back to it in my archives ——->

pps/ He’s just arrived.

 

 

Sunny Stress and Babies at 11

 

Gorgeous week of weather but I’m stressed up to the max, as everyone else undertakes barbecuing, beer gardens and bikini tops in baby oil. (Hot weather in the UK is always chilly to me, although I do love it. Growing up in LA and swishing around a hotel pool with cocktails, in the 80 degree heat at 10am, makes every other kind of sunny weather seem nippy. (I’m having a flash back of drinking 8 bloody mary’s for breakfast with all my guy model friends…i have no idea why I only had hot model guy friends or gay friends, and Jesse Metcalfe was pool side eating chicken wings, in his basketball cap, with his shirt pointlessly ON. πŸ™‚ Some guy then stopped me mid-paddle and told me that I was the ‘hottest girl in the world.’ Then some other guy stopped me and called me ‘an idiot.’ πŸ™‚ Welcome to my life. ) I’m now in Pontefract, being a mum of two. I’m super happy about that part and super happy to be earning dosh and creating a beauty line. Yet i have a rash, a bunch of stress and elderflower mixed gin in cans. I hate pressure and i’m under it…hence the rash. When i’m stressed the thing I tend to do is push everyone away and deal with it all myself..quietly, in a corner, as I puzzle, figure things out and drink wine.

Today, i have a day off and I need boxes. I’m moving and haven’t packed a thing. πŸ™‚ This end in me throwing everything out in a giant skip. πŸ™‚ But yes, i need boxes, big boxes and someone else to pack them, I think! πŸ™‚ I’m lazy like that. When I was married to Mike in LA, whenever we moved he would NEVER EVER let me LIFT Β finger. He BANNED ME from doing anything that was remotely hard labour and simply because he was a gentleman and his dad had always taught him that ladies should never have to tend to such nonsense. It was men’s work. I miss that!!! And I don’t mean jsut having a man to do the carrying. I mean Michael’s good morals when it came to things of that sort. It wasn’t even half bad. He was great and classy, when it came to being a gentleman. I actually learnt a lot from him and when I go back to LA, i’ll no doubt remember to tell him.

However, yes…today…i have to do it all by myself. Nothing’ll get done. I’m not in the mood and my hair is too big. My hair’s doing, ‘Miss. World.’ I’m breathing, i’m relaxing and well my parents have provided me with a calm blanket of comfort. They have been around every evening to make sure their little girl is okay and they’ve also spent quality time with the babies. (Ruby is amazing right now, so happy, clever and confident. Junior is hilarious and simply because he’s always having a blast. Yesterday when I picked him up from nursery after work. The sun was out, the radio was playing, I had cracked the windows down an inch and he raised both arms in the air, laughed out loud and shouted ‘YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAH’ literally ALL THE WAY HOME! They’re getting on perfectly right now and when you’re a Mam having your two bambinos be so close makes your heart melt. They’re worked out their own pecking order. Rubes is obviously in charge, yet Junior will only let her boss him about ot a certain level before he needs anger management. It’s cute. πŸ™‚ He spent the evening prank calling people from my phone’s contact list. He sounded like order 47 from a Chinese takeaway menu, followed by a belly laugh.)

Sorry. I get carried away when i natter on about the babies. It’s the Summer, it gets me excited and my heart fills with extra love for them.

I woke the other morning to my Daddy singing as background noise and it was wonderful. He had stayed over the night on the sofa, (poor thing) just to make sure I was okay. I have a great dad. I woke up at 6am and heard him merrily singing downstairs and it brought back a flood of happy childhood memories, y’know that rush of happiness that you get, when you remember the amazing times you had a child. It felt so great that I could never ever be without my family. I feel lucky. (I hope this rash isn’t scabies?)

Anyway…on a news (and not about me) front a 12 year old girl has just given birth to a baby girl, and the father is only 13 years old. Her 27 year old mother is now the youngest grandma in the UK and holy shit, what a terrible story! I mean, she’shad the baby now and life is a wonderful thing,s o my blessings go out to the baby threefold. YET, OMG…parenting much? I am such a snob when it come to ages that ladies give birth and i’m not afraid to say it. I mean, my Mum created and developed the Young People’s Sexual Health Clinics nationwide….where she advised and safeguarded the young…on sex. When I was younger (and maybe because of the people i grew up around,t he way I was raised, my environment…my school etc…) but I thought 15 year old and 16 who were falling pregnant were hideous!! πŸ™‚ I just couldn’t believe it, because I couldn’t Β believe that they were sexually active, I and just thought that they were chavs. Lol. I felt like that they didn’t thinking of how they were going to fiance they’re children’s future, send them to private school or anything (note this is when I was 15 πŸ™‚ ) and well I thought that they were either misguided or needed to be loved.)

I still actually think that way. πŸ™‚ I’m not a fan of teen pregnancies. I mean it’s hard enough for some people to handle at 30 something. You can’t do it at 12! She was pregnant at 11 years old and her Mum had her when she was only 15!!! Surely, she would advise her child aptly and give her the correct sex education needed because of this. Or do people just think it’s okay to birth babies at 11, 12…15…? I hate all this modern world stuff. Lol.I’m a proper oldie and traditionalist when it comes to some of my morals. That’s why I hate broken families (even though that’s what has happened to me…but only because I chose bad men, who weren’t brought up with the same morals…well Pete was and that’s why he wanted to stay. Keiran wasn’t…that’s why he chose partying. How you’re raised matters.) I just think having a baby at 12, and getting pregnant at 11 and the father only being 13 is terrible. That’s their childhood’s over. They can’t parent at 12 and 13! It just annoys me because even I want the BEST for their tiny baby and well it seems that history repeats…meaning that hopefully people will step in, break a cycle and be there for the baby all the way through it’s life! CRAZY! I can’t believe it. I’m astonished. And what makes it worse is that the 11, now 12 year old girl, just states that she is madly in love with her 13 year old boyfriend, knows he’s the one and wants to marry him? What???? She must’ve just needed to feel loved, a love that she wasn’t getting at home or in her heart and well him being a 13 year old boy…i just can’t even discuss this further…lol. WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TOO? I want normal grownups to fall in love, get married, stay married and have babies….that they care for together..forever. Fairytales only please. No 11 year old pregnant drama. GOSHY! (Snob time over. But i am a snob. I can’t help it. I hate stuff like that and I also hate ladettes, chav culture, druggies Β and uneducated people. πŸ™‚ Β Whilst we’re chatting. )

I got my first Easter card yesterday. Pete remarkably had Ruby do one, well make one for me…like he did on Mother’s day! How sweet of him. This is again a first, but a great first because like i said, he’s really turning around and becoming this great man, this great father…and showing me that he is! I’m really proud of him and it was really nice to know that he thought of me and it was sort of a ‘thank you’ for looking after his baby girl. I love my card! He’s been doing A LOT with Ruby these days and it’s been wonderful. It’s really helped her greatly. Really made her far more confident. With me, it’s the small things that I notice and remember. The small things that matter. The small things that can make me change my mind about a person. I’m looking forward to Easter. It’s going to be amazing. It’s going to be a fun filled, cake, bunny, easter bonnet, family affair! Can’t wait! Some of you will be doing a Bank Holiday partying. I’ll be with my babies. πŸ™‚

Can’t remember what else I was gonna tell you?

I’m kinda cutting myself off things right now, until i can get things sorted. It’s not a bad ‘cutting things off,’ it’s just a moment to keep my head down and focus.

Love you.

The Wuns. πŸ˜‰

 

 

 

 

 

I told you so………

 

ANOTHER DAY OFF! My final day of rest before I slip back into my work boots and glide back onto ‘mode’ before a delightful Easter of bunny fun with my babies! Yeah! Yeah! Baaaaby! So far, I’ve picked up sight, bantered with new work colleagues mid-travels, checked out sunny holidays for the babies, forgotten to buy boots, remembered to buy lip balm for my achy breaky lips. (FYI/ Nothing is worse to me than sore lips. I can’t stand the feeling of it. I had to nip into Primark and grab myself some Walls Mini Milk strawberry lip balm, in order to begin the soothing process merrily. It worked. That stuff is a miracle.) I also met with my estate agents, rushed around a bit more, cringed at some of the people in Wakefield (if it is 10.45am and you are gurning in pinned eye balls…you are an idiot. Pull yourself together.) I’ve run every errand under the sun. I currently have my fingers crossed. I’m chilling with my own papa and now enjoying a sunshine elderflower gin, that I got for Β£1.50. IT IS ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS and perfect for sunny sunny afternoons. Refreshing, classy and fun. Just like Moi. πŸ˜‰

Life is still great. I’m happy as can be. I’ve loving Mummyhood and the children have never been happier. Ruby has REALLY come into her own now, after months of feeling anxious, unsure and partially broken, due to the yo-yo-ing of a gent, who she adored more than life itself. He broke her faith. But now she’s 100% back to BRILLIANT and BEAMING. I’m SO PROUD OF HER. I have never seen her so happy. Junior (Mummy’s boy galore) is IN EVERYTHING. You name it…he’s in it. Β Happy go lucky, chipper, giggly, yet highly dramatic, with a extra dollop of charm…that boy will be a mayhem 2 year old. I’ve never seen a crawler, dash so fast from wall to wall and empty the entire contents of a home out onto the floor in SECONDS. Then giggle like it was the most fun ever. You put it all back. He does it again. My Daddy has been spending double time with Junior and well now they’re super close. My parents want another Doctor in the family, so i think they’re trying to bribe the children. The one that does it, if any, will become the favourite. Lol. We tested a ‘look at this poorly’ moment on Ruby, with a spot on my ankle. She looked at it like she was going to cry and never speak to me again. Junior however, crawled up to it with a toy hammer and looked at me like he was about to chop it off, with laughter. I see a surgeon in the future. #favouritechildalert

Work is good. I enjoy making money because it makes me feel of worth and like i’m doing myself justice, doing my kids proud and making my Mama smile. It all builds up to a glorious future. Beauty line wise, all is still on track. Today I did a secret walk around the stores that i’m pitching too to see where MY PRODUCT would fit in display wise and price wise. It’s called ‘walking the floor.’ Today the floors were walked my Wunna and I enjoyed every second of it. My eyelashes are going to be ace and i’m just happy that they’re MINE and that i created them, judged the quality myself and did all the designing. (Ugh, i have an itch, my skin has exploded with a rash. It’s a stress rash. I have a lot going on right now and well it’s hard for me to express it all, so it’s all erupting sexily on my skin. Fun! My good friend in LA, DK, told me once that it happened to him. This girl he adored broke up with him and he weirdly felt fine about it. Well…so he thought…He had actually subconsciously held his pain in emotionally and well his skin held up a ‘ah hell no’ flag and decided to burst out with a case of THE SHINGLES. I know! Crazy! (That’s what’s happening to me, but with a lot of stuff, all at once.)

Once i have my lash line out and i’m all moved into my new home and well my day job is going great, so that’s not a worry..i’ll be fine. Like i told you, i’m naturally a worrier, who cleverly pretends that all is fine with a wiggle and a wink. IT’S STRESSY UNDER THAN WINK. πŸ™‚ I’m quite a sensitive, yet loving girl and well i just like everything to go harmoniously and mainly for the welfare of my babies and my own bit of ‘hurrah, i made it.’ I’m ambitious and I want my family, my babies and of course myself to be super proud of me! I’m getting there!

On the Keiran front, he’s now getting mildy frustrated because he can’t seem to get comfy in the dodgy bed that he made. Bottom line, if you make awkward choices, wrong choices, or choices that at the time you thought were right, that ended up being wrong…the problem with that poor choice making, is that during your poor choices, bridges were burnt and a lot of people were hurt. I know, i’ve been there, yet when i was poor choice making….I didn’t have hard core responsibilities and i did it when i was young. Being young is always good for mistake making. It makes it okay, for when you’re older…the light bulb comes on.

At the time…he didn’t care because of course the grass is aaaaaaaaaaaalways greener and oh my gosh.. partying and single freedom is soooooo much fun! And well aaalllll the boys get to do aaaall this stuff, that i’m not allowed to doooooo because i have a pregnant wife and baby, that I have to look after. Β (Teenage behaviour. I swear he had delayed adolescence. It’s an actual problem.)

Well..all proper grownups, who have already lived quite a decent life and who are grateful for the responsibilites that they have, like wives, husbands, babies…etc…no longer make shit choices. They choose the things that matter in life, when life has come to an end. On ya death bed, you’re really not asking for a sambuca shot, your guy friends and that chick you once flirted with for sex in some nightclub where your feet stuck to the floor. Nor are you asking for a picture of your car, your house, you bank statement. The things that matter are your family, your true love..your children. It’s not hard a concept to come to terms with.

So yeah, he’s grumbling because he can’t have his cake an eat it and do bachelor and family guy all at once (awww) and wait…whenever HE WANTS. (Oh really? Snooze.)

I mean, who on earth glamourised the situation for him (lol) to make him think that his choice to leave his wife and family ..(his responsibilities..and we all come as one..) and do it the way he did it…AND simply for the art of partying would be glorious! HAHAA. Idiot! Who patted him on the back and told him that this would be great and it would be all un-troublesome and best for both himself and the family. Lol. Who told him what he wanted to hear, instead of what would actually happen. HAHAHA. If he was a King going to war, then he’d have shit advisers and end up spattered in armour, outside his own castle. Who does he actually know that has it easy with wives and children after leaving! Who told him that there would be no heart break, that it wouldn’t hurt the children, that a good mother would sacrifice the stability of her babies for male party boy nonsense. (Some mums would. Not me. I’m not rubbish at this Mummy malarky.) Who assured him that being continuously disrespectful to his wife, would put him in a better position, when it came to setting an example for his son. And WHO ON EARTH told him that I would be STUPID enough to put up with being treated so badly and for so long?

It’s like he had some blissfully deluded, pastel, misty watercoloured picture in his head,where he could go party with the boys, fly off to countries without telling me, flirt with women, emotionally and verbally abuse me, slag me off, play victim, distance himself from the children, do whatever he wanted, when he wanted and skip in fields merrily to happy songs of delight, as the world revolved around him and everyone catered to all of his poor choices and needs.

REALITY CHECK. *Boom* WRONG ANSWER!

That’s not how it works…DARLING. You use, abuse or disrespect a girl…she will not like you. πŸ™‚ Didn’t anyone teach him that? Β Especially if she has respect for herself and her children. Over the past few months i have been nothing but kind and loving towards him, whereas HE has done nothing but treat me with great disregard whenever i’ve been kind and every other time inbetween. I figured my kindness was wasted on him. He wanted to be nasty to me for nothing expect the negative art of holding onto the past, his own tormented childhood issues and well being an idiot. Like my friends say…he’ll learn that being married to Chrissie Wunna isn’t or wasn’t as bad as he thought. Someone glamourised the potential consequences of his actions for him, or patted him on the back with a ‘you’re not doing anything wrong.’ How silly of him not to use his own or actual brain.

Fact.

Walking out on your wife and children, when she has just given birth 3 months previous is not only dishonorable…but simply just bad. And i’m not talking chav tastic bad, as i’m so far from that that level of conduct, i’m talking simply BAD FORM. Baaaaaaaaaaad form…especially when she needed you the most! Selfish..baddddddddd, BAD… form. And especially when the reason was simply Β to party, wallow in self pity, slag off the lady you vowed to love, after she birthed your child , then self destruct in recreational vices and just be a good old fashioned tit, whilst telling everyone half truths about the situation. It was one of those moments (and i got loads of messages) where all normal, decent people just looked at him and at his Facebook page and thought ‘what an absolute knob.’ πŸ™‚ Everyone could see it but HIM. πŸ™‚ (Oh and his party posse, who to be honest, don’t actually really care about his future relationship with his son, wife…etc.)

Now that the girl…me…is over it all…(and it’s been ages since September, so i’m proud that I finally came to my senses…) you’re moaning because of your OWN previous choices. The ones you made yourself. We would’ve loved him forever, but he didn’t want us to. I would’ve done an eternity with him. He didn’t want me to. His own choice. His own fault.

Bottom line, if your argument is the fact that I get to see the children every day and well you don’t…then how about this thought….this wacky little concept….(and this is what I said to him…)

I get to see the children EVERY DAY because THAT IS WHAT I CHOSE. I CHOSE to be there for them no matter what, PUT THEM FIRST, LOVE THEM FULL TIME and make amends at all costs, for their stability, knowing that once the hard bit was done, i’d have more freedom to have fun and be me once more. That way i would have the balance of everything, be part of a loving family, have myself back, be working, be able to again have fun and have life the way it should be and used to be. I knew that because i’ve learnt from past mistakes! I now have the best of everything because I made the right choices. He didn’t. That’s not my problem. Whoever taught him to be a man, taught him wrong. I won’t let that happen to my son. Keiran knows i’m a great mother, so it’s hard for him to critisize me when it comes to that department. Where as my list could be endless with him…

And you see…the thing about making poor choices when you’re young is that when you’re older, you just know not to make the same mistakes again, or you have time to change the outcomes of certain problems. Yet, when you’re a grown up and with actual responsibilities, those wrong decisions..can change your life FOREVER. Sad, but true. And he still hasn’t even managed to think of a way to make it right…when it’s the EASIEST puzzle in the world…if he KNEW ME.

So yeah…you chose the single, fun, party boy life, over a stable one, filled with a ‘loving family’…so go live it, love it…be happy. We are! I especially am now that they’re at an age where the hard sleepless nights is all over. I’m in the fun stage, that he couldn’t be bothered to live through. Not my fault. You walked away and chose a different path from us…and he can’t separate me from the children. He likes to do that, he likes to say, I left you, not them. Well…honey…we come as a team. I don’t ever see myself as ‘just me’…which is why i am a GOOD PARENT. I’m not selfish. Plus, having a WIFE is an actual man’s responsibility. He doesn’t see it as one. Meaning he has no respect for women and doesn’t understands love. Yet he doesn’t have a role model for it, I guess?

But whatever, before when I was all cheery with him, was when it would’ve been easy…yet now, he can kiss my hot, loving, behind!

What i’ve newly learnt is that children DON’T NEED both parents to be happy and successful human beings…they just need full time stability (which he didn’t offer, but I do) and really good role models of both genders. They have that! Plus, he’s lucky…like I always say because he chose moi to birth babies with…Junior goes to the best nursery, will go to the best schools, be enrolled in every activity that he wishes to be, will want for nothing, be loved, have an inheritance, a trust fund and be surrounded by love daily, constantly, full time…and by very decent role models. He gets to grow up the way I did. Is that really so bad?

I don’t think so…

Lesson of the day….people carve their own paths…and when you do, you have to be ready to walk in that path you have carved and deal with the consequences that occur with it. You always have the opportunity Β in life to make something right..yet until then..enjoy the walk. I mean, who’d a thought, the fun life of a party boy wouldn’t be fun forever?? Pahahaha. Everyone BUT HIM.

 

Happy Sunday! The day of God, day of hangovers, or if you’re a full on grown up like moi, a day of being happy to be an oldie. Life really does fly by. I even sound old saying it. But it’s true. I met an old geezer the other day, who fought jungle warfare in Burma or something? He was now in Ponty, drinking a tea for one, after a spot of cancer and a bit of a more difficult life. All he said to me was that life really does fly by and that I should be good to myself. I believed him, as far too many people say it, for it not to be true.

It’s a fresh day, a sunny day. I’ve errand run, I should be packing (house move,) i’ve peeked in new properties armed with family and well also found out that this next week is going to be a week of..wait for it..utter SUNSHINE! Yeeeah baby! I’ve also spent the morning giggling with my son and cheering up overdue preggos. Blond Emma is past her due date and should be giving life any time…NOW. Curry didn’t work. Disco dancing was rubbish. So today and because I feel her absolute pain, I suggested that she went in for the old ‘sweep and stretch.’ πŸ™‚ Impersonal..yet effective. I mean no-one wants a middle aged ladies fingers in their whatsit…yet if it sets off a very long 9 months of baby cooking, lets do it! Even though I hated the procedure, it was grateful for it. Em’s isn’t even nervous, just excited as in her owns words, ‘It’s got to come out somehow.’ She’ll breeze it…with painkillers. Then we’ll lunch and she’ll worry about her vagina being like a 7o year old’s..well her exact term of phrase was a 70yr old prostitute’s. πŸ™‚ You know you’ve made a preggo happy when they say, ‘I fucking love you.’ I’m so excited for her and well lets just hope she rolls over in bed tonight and her waters just decide to break out of nowhere! Turning into ‘Mama’ is GREATNESS. It’s the best thing that any girl could ever turn in toooo! It’s a shame that some girls, who turn into woman don’t appreciate it as much as they should. Same with men. However, both Ems’ and I adore such a title….it just brings a big old smile to our miserable, yet sexy faces. Push! Push! Get that Baby OUT! I will add that Goodhall, her lovely husband to be, has bought her an entire FULL GYM as a ‘push present.’ I DIDN’T EVEN GET A PUSH PRESENT and I WANTED ONE. I just got shouted at and then left, after 3 months of giving birth. Fun times! πŸ™‚ You should always date man over boy. A man puts a lady on a pedestal and treats her like a Queen…a boy is more selfish and has to live in regret when he grows up and it’s too late.

Great day today. Happy. Looking forward to ANOTHER day off tomorrow. I have a whole bunch of important errands to run, so i gonna have my rocket boots on. I’m excited for my lashes. Their luxury, so save up. πŸ™‚ AND well i’ve been having to wear the same contact lenses for a week straight now, due to running out and waiting for my order. Tomorrow..i get them. Wahoo! I will be gifted with sight once more! Life will be a wonder!

The babies are doing great. I’m doing great. I’m appreciating being adored and i’m loving working hard. All angles covered. The ex- Ralph Lauren model wants to now book flights to come and visit me…as does my good LA friend Jake. I’m concentrating on money making and loving my babies…as i’m almost at my goal. I haven’t really wasted any time this year, i’ve worked hard. The results will show and yes i will say again..SUCCESS….totally the sweetest revenge. PAHAHAHAH!

I’ve got a rash on my hand. I’m being called ‘Sexy’ a lot. My bra has snapped at the front. Not even sexy snapped, as in ‘pinged’ opened. Just snapped as in looks like it’s been worn for 100 years nonstop, that in a state of raggedness has fallen apart. I want to be as fit as that 80 year old, crotch back bending, swing me around like a beaver bollock granny on Britains got talent! Amazing stuff! How she did all that I don’t know. I’m impressed. That WILL BE ME, when i’m 80. OR i’ll just be the happy gin drinker at the back of a champagne bar, in too much lippy and diamonds, at noon. I would’ve said face lifted, but I after my thyroid surgery, i’d never ever voluntarily, give myself up for cosmetic surgical reasons now. You got through a lot of pain for something that doesn’t really matter. (Learnt it late. Shut up.)

But yes, life is wonderful. I’m happy. I’m surrounded by people who love, cherish and adore me. I’m filled with smiles and family and well i’m celebrating Sunday with a cocktail.

Love you!

*Wiggles-Wink*

 

It’s Bliss Innit

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Everything feels like BLISS! I mean, nothing is better than going to bed, snuggled in with all your loin fruit, after the busiest week ever of work, to know that you not only don’t have to get up early in the morning to earn that extra bit of moola, but you don’t have to do it for the NEXT THREE DAYS!

Yes! Wunna has the next THREE DAYS off and it feels like ULTIMATE BLISS. I’m spending it with my babies, my family, my world…and everything just feels so much greater! Working hard makes you really appreciate your down time, the time you have to chill, the time you have with your ‘little hearts.’ I mean, I even duffed my ankle up and got a flair up of skin disease :)…yet i’m still smiling because right now, i’m blogging from my living rooms floor, STILL IN MY PJ’S, with both babies napping by my side and with Mr.Tumble on my telly as background.

Even my morning shower this morning felt like BLISS. Not sure why? But it did! I had a hardcore Herbal Essence style shower this morning. It sent me off to dream land, a euphoric state of ‘ooh laa.’ (I didn’t even use Herbal Essence, in fact due to work, I hadn’t had any time to buy more conditioner, so even worse I had to use budget Β  2 in 1 from Poundland, because it was next door to the place I was pondering, when i remembered. πŸ™‚ ) Saying that, it’s all down to working hard and having no time. It makes you appreciate the little things. An actual Herbal Essence shower, believe it or not is just a marketing trick. (OOh, we didn’t know that. πŸ™‚ ) If you get that shit in your eye, it stinks like *SWEAR HERE.* I spent my last Herbal Essence type shower blind, shouting ‘FUUUUCCCCK! ARRRRGH’ at the top of my voice, naked, slipping and reaching for a towel…in mid ‘stood in the shower’ air. πŸ™‚

Ruby can’t believe i’m home with her. Love it. We’re getting ready for Easter and well my parents always kept the magic of every holiday and festivity alive. We are going to be going Easter bunny bonkers, with painted Eggs, bonnets…buns..the works. Junior’s really into it too. He’s probably more into it than Rubes. This morning he power crawled up to me, snacked a MaltEaster Bunny out my hand, snapped it in half, with his almighty strength and shoved IT ALL IN HIS MOUTH in one fail swoop. I obviously thought he would spit it out, as it’s far too rich, far too chunky, far too chocolately…NOPE! He held it in his chops, with a puzzled face of ‘wait Β a minute’ and a little muddle around in his mouth, it was gone. Lord knows how he devoured it in 30 seconds…but he did..and then when I wasn’t looking he grabbed Ruby’s half and shoved that in his mouth too. πŸ™‚ It was fine though as Baby 1, (aka Rubes) took one tiny nibble out of the ear and with a face of utter ‘urk’ said, ‘Eww..that’s disgusting. Can I have peas instead?’ Lmao. They’re eating habits are soooo different from one another. I put a pea in Junior’s mouth and he spat it right back out at me, like he was some kind of weird half Burmese pea shooting machine.

Life is GREAT!

I am thoroughly enjoying every moment of my first day off and will continue to enjoy every inch of the next too. BLISS. BLISS. BLISS. LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.

Eyelash lien going great. A new bit of marketing going great. Day job. Love it. I have a stress rash and a dodgy ankle…but it’s fine. Babies. Love them. Being flirted with by boys…used to it. πŸ˜‰ (The Doctor is dying to get me on a date, but I just don’t have time right now and not looking to date as of present.) Moving shortly! (Incase you forgot.) But i’m not speaking about that until it’s all been sorted. So yeah, I have a lot on my plate..again…but i’m loving it. 2014, can kiss my hot arse. πŸ™‚ I’M WINNING.)

Talked to my Daddy last night about my love life. He’s upset as i’m his baby girl and he hates broken down families and he’d probably wish for Keiran to be different and not a tragic party boy, who can’t love his daughter, or commit to being part of a family, in order to raise children appropriately, yet all he said was,

‘I know you baby..(that’s what my daddy calls me πŸ™‚ ) Where Keiran went wrong was when he secretly moved out of the house and told you via text. That hurt you the most right? The way he did it, as now it’s too hard for him to come back in. He created a barrier for himself, so whoever advised him on such a move, didn’t know you very well.’

I just looked at him and smiled and responded with a..

‘Yeah, i resented him for that. The way he did it. It was rude and disrespectful and it was more the fact that he planned it all, had even told other people, slagged me off to people behind my back and knew what he was doing. He kept it from me. He abandoned the family and that caused too much pain, that he’s not sorry for, to each and every member. He hurt Me, he broke Ruby and Junior will now never really know him. To be honest, he hurt himself..but it’s because he has issues. I know him better than anyone and he knows that.’

Then i had a wine, we cuddled the babies and my mummy bandaged up my ankle for me. πŸ™‚ I LOVE FAMILY LIFE! My Daddy is a traditionalist, so he doesn’t hate Keiran at all, but he’s shocked that an actual boy or grown up man wouldn’t stand by his marriage vows, or be there Β to protect his wife and children. He just thinks he’s made a flow of idiot moves that he maybe hasn’t meant to make, yet due to a dodgy upbringing or poor advisors, he’s sort of shot himself in the foot now that he doesn’t know what to do or how to come back from it, because he dug his grave so deeply. He see’s him as a mess, a boy that just has to learn things the hard way. Yet unfortunately my Father has as daughter with a tolerance line. That he raised her to have…but only after I had compassionately done or offered all that I could help-wise, heart-wise before letting go. My Daddy is a love bunny. He’s a compassionate man, who taught me empathy. Both my Mum and dad are. They always told me that it was about understand people. Yet Keiran took the piss…so now i’m like (and it took me a long time of getting over, and in the end giving him chances)…’AS IF.’ He should of run in when the door was still a jar open.

Plus, it’s a bit annoying for my Mum because the money that my Dad paid for the wedding…it was a normal wedding amount…I don’t even know how much, but I do know it was around Β£30,000-ish?? If Daddy knew that Keiran wasn’t serious about being married and taking his vows, and that his word wasn’t his bond…well that money wouldn’t have been wasted and instead could’ve gone towards the grand children. That’s Β£15,000 each that they could’ve pocketed. Silly boy.

However, enough of all that!

Everything is so positive and perfect now. Β I’m happy. This weekend is going to amazing!!! (I should really be packing or sorting though the children’s stuff.)

AND we’re going to be going on our first abroad holiday with the babies in a couple months! EXCITED! Two this year for them. They’re at the perfect age for it all now. And I can’t wait to do Orlando..well Disney land with them when they’re a bit ‘ can appreciate it’ older. Then Hollywood..so they can see Mama’s friends. I’m also looking forward to my LA friends coming over for a visit. EXCITED!! It’ll be ace to have male models residing in Wunna land in the name of old friends and holidaying. πŸ™‚ Hollywood models do Ponty. Yeah! Ruby will go bananas, she gets far too excited about it all. She is so much older than her time. It’s so bizarre. Plus, through their life i want them to experience where they’re from, their own cultures, Mummy’s culture, roots and places of resident, so there will be lots of America, Asia and Caribbean (if i must) in their future. (Ugh, my lips are super chapped.)

Anyway hope you’re well. I need coffee.

I’m off. Three day! Three day? Three days! Β Wahoo! (I hate that I totally missed sibling day because i fell asleep early.)

Love you. x