So, today is the day we enjoy to call ‘off’ and I don’t mean ‘off’in a dodgy sort of way, I mean ‘off’ as in not at work today! I’ve been working harder than I ever thought I could and to find a sense of normality, with a side of extra dosh. I’m also working with China and the States on my eyelash line and of course enjoying my favourite role, which is ‘Mum.’ Alongside all this, i’m finding a new residence. It’s weird moving because when my life used to be a bit dodgy…I would always try to find an escape route. I’d run away be it physically, emotionally or mentally. I’d get on a plane and fly to another country, swap lovers…hit self destruct with a ‘whooska,’ hide…cut myself away from the world…or the worst…SMILE THROUGH IT ALL like everything was dandy. That was Chrissie Wunna ‘back in the day.’ Today, I’m all new…i’m all grown up now, with big old responsibilities, called ‘the babies.’ The good thing about being Mum is that i’m weirdly super good at it and so when it comes to doing the right thing for them…i always do. So, these days i’m far less lost and certainly more together with a smile on my face, yet it doesn’t stop old habits from itching in whenever I feel scared.
I’m on a deadline right now, which always puts me under pressure…it’s something wine can’t fix, yet it’s not so bad. I’m a worrier and i panic more than I should by nature, yet in a glamourously calm sort of way. If i’m panicking, you’d never notice. But yes, the move is terrifying me, which is odd as i’m so used to moving, i was so good at it in my past, that I always travelled light, KNOWING that i’d be leaving shortly. I mean when I lived in my London appartment…and it was rubbish…i never unpacked my suitcases for 6 months. I lived out of them because I knew that my own history predicted that I wouldn’t be there long. Right now, I’m doing the ‘i miss LA’ thing, which is what I always used to do whenever I got my period according to Wazza. Hollywood is bizarrely my cuddle land. The land that I feel safest in because I know it like the back of my hand, all my best friends are there and well it loves me. (Plus, I keep seeing photos of all my friends in Malibu, sunning it up simply out of boredom. THAT WAS MY LIFE!)
But yes…this moving malarky. Terrifying me. I enjoy stability and comfort now. I think i associate the art of moving with my ‘lost’ past and even though it is much different circumstances..i’m just taking a step out, to make a step up…it’s a good thing..it reminds me of my ‘running away’ times and makes me hit my anxiety button of PANIC.
(Ruby decided to climb things she shouldn’t today on my day off. She fell off and sprained her ankle. Typical. Lol. Luckily, after the dramatics of the moment, it seems that fancy old smoked bacon…makes her ankle feel much better? 😉 My daughter rocks.)
So, i’ve also busted my ankle…this ankle has been a nuisance. I actually went out, danced around, fell over and whilst being all twisted, some guy accidentally stomped on it. 🙂 JUST MY LUCK. It was one of those moments where I was actually shocked that I hadn’t landed under a cartoon cliff, gotten mistaken for Road runner and then had the Coyote push some giant boulder onto me, from some great height. I expected that to happen next. Instead, it was far less glammy. I just hobbled. But now i’m on pills, with a bandage. Life is good again. Rubes and I now have ‘sorry ass’ ankles. My ankle has been problematic because it’s the same ankle that got run over outside Sushi Roku in West Hollywood, the same ankle that got charged and twisted backwards by an angry Mexican pitbull named ‘Cano,’…the same ankle that a weird American doctor tried to hypnotise (he ended up not being a doctor and just being a pervert) and now it’s gotten stomped on by a giant Yorkshire man. LOL. My ankle is ace. But, I’m fine because i have to be…i need to work and so I am. The beauty line…no probs. I can be creative with the dodgy ankle. The day job…funny with a dodgy ankle. (Note: I’m loving it, yet yesterday a gentleman came in and said, ‘How do I know you? Have you been on the telly? You have!!! Wait..you were on…’ This is where it all begins… Christina Thompson, will soon be ‘Chrissie Wunna.’)
OOhh! I heard a good bit of advice yesterday, from Patti Stanger gracing my telly box. MEN! (And i’m going to say this simply because i’m in emotional limbo right now.) If you fail to lead with your romantic or even sexual foot..then you will always stay in the ‘friend zone’ and the ‘friend zone’ is shit because it means we don’t fancy you…or well I don’t fancy you…and well the boys in my ‘friend zone’ end up plonking off the end of my ‘friend zone’ conveyer belt. 🙂 I never fancy ANY of my male friends. I’m not the being that has slept with all my friends, i’m not an episode of Jeremy Kyle, my folks raised me better than that! Lol
Y’know, I really don’t like cut off communication. It’s like a road block. Like a wall. Like a sock shoved down ya water piping. Like…you get it? Expression is the first key and the first step to merriment. But true expression, of course. That’s what i’m going through right now. The ‘block.’ It feels odd as it’s going against my true feelings. I think that when things are appropriately discussed, then ‘the block’ occurs. You can’t move forward until that ‘blockage’ is released and opened. A wound won’t heal as fast, if it’s always hiding under a plaster. Everything needs air, to dry up. Even drunks. What i’ve noticed about myself is that if people are rude to me, i’m rude to them. (Unless, i’m in a situation where i have to be nice.) If they are lovely to me, i’m lovely to them. If they are cold to me, i am cold to them and if they can’t communicate with me clearly..then I don’t bother to communicate with them, because it makes me feel awkward.
When it comes to men, i don’t like men who aren’t expressive. I hate bad manners. I don’t like disrespectful men. I ADORE romantic men. Superficially, I enjoy sexy. 🙂 We all do. We all like a good looker. Eye candy. It makes us feel better when we wake up in the morning. 🙂 I like stable men, not a darling who will run off at the first sign of emotional danger. It’s a big turn off for me because I think how the hell is he going to be able to do ‘lifetime’ if he can’t even handle year 1? I see it as weak. 🙂 I don’t like weak men and I don’t men strong a sin pretend macho-ism. (Is that a word?) I just mean a man who is very comfortable in his own skin. I also and this is the snob in me and I am a snob even though i’m down to earth. I don’t like men who don’t like a luxury. 🙂 If they don’t like the finer things in life than it turns me off. I mean, by all means they are allowed to enjoy ‘slumming it,’ yet if they don’t like luxury..even a little, I can’t imagine life with them. Lol. I’m not joking. I’m that bad. ‘Slumming it’ is a 3* hotel for me. I’m usually gutted when I have to stay in them. (Getting a flash back of a handsome boy in LA, who once asked me out, but then He invited me over to his home..which was an air bus…it confused me and I didn’t like him after that. Not because he lived in an air bus, but because he looked like he was embarrassed by it…because he kept overly going on about how ace it was. You know when they over do it and you can tell that they just don’t think they’re being impressive. If you live in an airbus…own it. That’s my ‘comfortable in your own skin’ rule…However, it’s a difficult one, because I didn’t mind him living in an air bus, i just wouldn’t live in it with him. LMAO. So, it was a slight turn off. I went back home to my luxury West Hollywood home. 🙂 Infact, now that i think about it, he didn’t even buy me a drink. Manners boys! Y’see, men always think it’s about the buying…when it’s not with me…(don’t get me wrong, ti is with some girls,) but with me…it’s about the etiquette and because (if you have had the pleasure of being out with me or being my boyfriend)..I would never not buy you a drink and simply out of common courtesy.
But whatever, that’s all just ‘stuff’ in the long run. Love is love and you can’t help who you love, but you know you have found your true love when your heart is still doing ‘forever’ with them…without you even knowing. When you think about them every single day, be it good or bad. When you just have a connection…even after everything..the storms…the tears..the tantrums. When you can still remember the good times over the bad. If you don’t get what i’m saying, then you haven’t yet had the pleasure or pain (lol) of finding your true love. (Which is also fine, because lots of fun occurs before it. Yeehaa! If you’re trying to have fun for a while after finding your ‘true love’ then you always find yourself back where you started…which is loving them…because your temporary ‘void filler’ didn’t make you feel the same, as your ‘true love’ did, does and always will.
I need a cuppa tea, so i’m off.
I’m ut to dinner tonighta! #excited 😉