Halloweeny Y’meany


Halloween has got the better of us here in Wunna land. It’s Junior’s first Halloween and Ruby’s first ‘actually liking’ Halloween today and well i’ve been up since the crack of dawn, whopping them in pumpkin outfits and letting them enjoy the day, with Halloween treats galore. It has been the ultimate, most delicious amount of madness imaginable and before it even struck 11am, I was gleefully exhausted with merriment.




So i’ve taken the day off, simply because the great people who fixed my car brakes the first time managed to ‘bodge’ it up and FORGET to place 2 rather important bolts back, when shoving it back together. Hmm..? It caused an accident. A ‘brakes don’t work’ kinda of accident, which ended up with me having to drag my car to the most reliable source…which was the Mercedes dealership itself. I’m slowly learning that you really do get what you pay for and well it’s always best to go the specialists to begin with. I could’ve had the children in the car! Never good, with not working brakes. Well done boys! #idiots All I can say is that when fixing brakes, it’s probably best to FIX THEM and NOT FORGET  TO PUT THE BOLTS BACK IN!!

Anyway, my mum ended up being at the Mercedes dealership with me, as Mercedes refused to let me drive my car off the lot, simply because it was far too dangerous to operate on the roads and to make matters funny…whilst we were there HER CAR also broke down (after the SAME PEOPLE fixed her wheels and managed to break her suspension springs, without telling her)…so there we were completely CAR LESS and not knowing what to do!

Mercedes ended up driving us home, after I had convinced my MOTHER NOT TO BUY another car, simply so we had a vehicle to drive home in! (And you wonder how I became a material girl.) It had been a long day. I had been to an interview earlier that morning. I had no-one to collect the children from nursery and so along with a bad hair day, I gave in, giggled and we both went to lunch at The Angel in Ackworth. (The only ‘walking distant’ venue nearby us.)

The rest of day went well, simply because when there’s nothing much you can do, you have to laugh it off with a wiggle. Today, we’re waiting for the cars again. My mum has JUST had hers delivered. Mine will be on it’s way shortly. I’ve already ventured via taxi into Ponty to buy sight because of course, I had to run out, mid-‘having no car.’ 🙂

I’m actually loving today because everyone around me seems so happy. The air is filled with spooktastic joy. I always hated Halloween, until now. I even disliked it during my Hollywood days, when I used to do the big West Hollywood parade, dressed as a slutty cave girl. I was hot back then and partying alongside the likes of Britney Spears. I’d end up at The Abbey with my boys and we’d get joyously crunk, in costumes in the name of Halloween. One Halloween, I actually had to climb onto a roof, with a mango cocktail in my hand to help stop a model friend from killing himself…..DRESSED AS A SLUTTY, DIAMOND DRIPPED CAVE GIRL. Lol. I had to perch on the roof, under the moon and convince him that life was worth living, as he questioned his sexuality. He wanted a kiss. He was gay. I gave him one. (What? It was to save his life god damn it.)Then with the mango cocktail still in tact, not a drop spilled, we both evntured down the fire escape, which lined the wall and got him back to Halloween, Hollywood…safety? Yay! (I was reminising the good times and memories I have with Chef Ronnie Woo also. He’s doing so well now and I miss him soo much. Please make sure you check out his website. www.thedeliciouscook.com He’s cooked for Jessica Alba and everything! Oooh! )

Anyway, this afternoon we bun baked. Ruby’s obsessed with baking random buns these days, so I figured we’d get on with it…except she wanted to do it naked. (I’ve birthed an exhibitionist! I have no idea where she gets that from?


Halloween is much acer when you have kiddies. t brings the innocence back into Holidays and seasons. Yeah you could go on a fruity, boozy, drug fueled bender…if you’re that way inclined…OR you can dress you’re kids up as pumpkins and enjoy every moment of excitement with them. Junior has weirdly LOVED IT more than ANYONE. That boy is a natural when it comes to picture taking. He’s always so jolly that I capture really lovely moments of his life. he giggles through the worst of them and well makes every moment of Mummyhood worth it.

I’m waiting for my car. Finally got fresh eyes. Having Marks & Spencer sandwiches for lunch and totally found the best new driver ever. He drove Beyonce the other week…she had stayed at Waterton Park, which humours me. Poor chick. Must be just the same as a swanky Hollywood hotel suite. 🙂 Anyway, it was good to know that MY BUM, was sat exactly where BEYONCE and Hussain Bolt’s BUM’s were sat a couple weeks ago. I’m hiring this guy to drive me everywhere, whenever I don’t have wheels.

Just so you know Marks and Sparks do the best stuffed vine leaves ever. Ruby ate all mine, which may seem odd to you, yet her taste is quite impeccable when it comes to food.

But anyway, i’ll blog later, when i’ve chillaxed. Yay to almost working brakes! And yay to ‘a waiting for me’ Mimosa!!

Life is great dolls!


Positive, Chipper, Champion, Me!


I had the BEST nights sleep last night and I have no idea why? I mean, if we were to go on circumstance, i wasn’t in my favourite kitty state of mine, due to Oddballs pissing me off. Yet there was a point in the evening where both ‘Winkles’ (Ruby & Junior) just decided to chillax, hit ‘rest’ mode and simply sleep through the entire night! Hurrah!!! Yippee!! How weird?? I managed to get myself together and roll around in bed sheets galore and i couldn’t even believe it!

Y’know, it’s important to use your sleep time wisely. If you go to bed angry, please do make SURE you use your ‘rest’ time to recoup, get back to positive and sleep off the drama. Lord knows you need to. If you hold onto the anger…all you do is attack yourself with negative buzz kills. That’s not sexy. It will eat you alive..which isn’t the best accessory to have this fall. Plus. if you are being who gets less that 6 hours sleep a night and quite constantly, you actually take years off your life span.

You always have two choices. To be positive or to be negative and it’s a training. Those that are winners, will always search and come up with solutions. Those that are not quite there yet, will always moan, throw a pity party, blame others and give up on themselves, as they surrender to pointless bits of party or jolly bouts of worthless ‘no gooding.’ #wellsaid #aroundofapplause

I woke up filled with positive energy this Wednesday, with the biggest beam of a smile on my face. I’m a lucky girl and i’ve done really well in life. I started off in a very normal position and had a dream. I was lucky enough to have a truck load of family support to help make dreams come true. Don’t go through life thinking you need the same to get ahead. People from all walks of life have become champions. I was just grateful to have it, as it speeded up my wishes and turned them into a reality much quicker. I still have that back up today and that’s why i’m lucky. I’ve never alone. I’ve never really really down and I have a ginormous support bubble.

So today, I want my blog to be inspiring and I want you to know that under no circumstances EVER, do you let the narrow mindedness of others, rain on your parade. You don’t let people try and get you down. You refrain from being affected by people who ‘poo-poo’ your dreams and ambitions. Anyone can do anything, with the correct love and formula. ANYTHING! Why? Well, because everything started somewhere and everything you wish to do has been done by someone before! It’s achievable. Don’t get it twisted and i’ve watched people achieve a lot!! People only hate out of jealousy and they are only jealous because they wish their life was going as well. What they fail to realize is the energy that they waste causing whimsical tantrums could be placed into their own world and used to make it a better place.

Anyway..so, I’m bringing out my own lip gloss line. A novelty, fun, teenage to young adult, lip gloss line. A lot of work has gone into it. I’m passionate about the industry and learnt a lot about it. I’ve kept it all low key and secret because I’ve wanted it to be exactly right. I’ve picked my suppliers gradually and after looking through THOUSANDS. I’ve not rushed anything or been impulsive. Meaning now, i can finally put together my ideal brand. Which is what iv’e always wanted to do..well it’s been my next goal. i’ve done everything else iv’e ever wanted to do.

Lots of love, research, design and well everything has gone into it, alongside a  clever dollop of people who can do maths. 🙂 I’m shit at doing sums. I was always more creative than scientific at school. I come from a family who know business and what it takes form getting things right and getting things wrong. i’ve held meetings with all the right people. Learnt from other brands. Learnt from the stories of others. (I mean yesterday I watched the video on how the Innocent line of drinks began. This is what their PR & website say:

‘We started innocent in 1999 after selling our smoothies at a music festival. We put up a big sign asking people if they thought we should give up our jobs to make smoothies, and put a bin saying ‘Yes’ and a bin saying ‘No” in front of the stall. Then we got people to vote with their empties. At the end of the weekend, the ‘Yes’ bin was full, so we resigned from our jobs the next day and got cracking.’

You know that they were all Cambridge graduates, who had big, high paying jobs…that they actually GAVE UP to create their own brand of smoothie. They spent 6 months working on recipes and invested £500 in fruit before going to the music festival. Just like that, out of faith, passion and skill..they dared to try.

The company now sells OVER 2 MILLION smoothies A WEEK and is valued at £390 MILLION. That’s where crushing up fruit, plonking them into bottles, and selling them at their own little  music festival led to.

That’s one story out of billions that I have read. Plus, I myself personally know a lot of people who have gone from rags to riches in the exact same manner.

Y’know, there’ s a great deal of folk, who want to start a business, but don’t do it correctly. They jump up impulsively and tinker here, or tippy toey there. Or try to start up loads of different bits and with no success and that’s fine provided you learn from it and do it right.

The main thing after passion for what you have chosen to do, other than doing it out of  love and not just for money is A WORKING BRAIN. You can’t be ‘Numpty and Bumpty,’ trying to set up a million pound business. Whether you are academically smart, street smart or just great at what you do…if you don’t have a business brain or A BRAIN working alongside you, or someone who knows how to effectively market the arse off you…you’re fucked. 🙂 Marketing and PR is EVERYTHING and an investor also helps. 😉 You do have to make sure you are a worthy being however, because I know that i wouldn’t invest in anything, be it love, money or life that isn’t proving to offer stability. People see me as being someone who holds back when it comes to dollar, however not at all, i’m not smart enough to not do the wrong thing with my money. I now don’t give anyone, anything until they prove their in it for the long run.

If your less ambitious though, you can certainly run a local business. They run well. They’re fun. Not multi-million pound chains, but they’ll make you good money if you work hard.

So yeah, i’m now at the beginnings of plonking my lip gloss line together and dilly dallying in the area of packaging. I think i’ve come up with a great idea, after hunting through literally SO MANY.

I’ve always been defeated by it in the past, until now,  so it was awful to here someone last night almost attempt to rain on my jollies. I think I had done my ‘everyone starts somewhere’ speech, but flung in a ‘Christian Dior’ in the mix. Their response was ‘Yeah, but that’s Christian Dior.’ Eww! Negative much.

How do you think Dior got started. He didn’t just wake up one morning and walk into his giant gzillion pound clothing and beauty brand did he? No..he actually…(although he did come from a wealthy family to begin with, with helped him get ahead financially) used to draw sketches and sell them on the street for 10 cents. SO THERE! I CAN HAVE MY OWN SUCCESSFUL LIP GLOSS LINE.

The same person even said ‘WHY?’ What do they mean why? Why do people do anything! Why do THEY want do do anything? I don’t ‘poo-poo’ their dreams. I’ll tell you why, because it’s a passion of mine, I adore beauty, it’s always been a dream to create a small brand, that turns into a big brand.. i have the means to do it, I’m in a good place, I come from a marketing background AND simply because I CAN. I’m confident enough to have a go. Even RUBES loves it!! My family are behind me 100% and helping me 100%.

Haters will always have a go at you. Just don’t let it affect you.

I woke up more positive than ever and empowered. I feel like i have everything right now and it’s certainly bringing out the best in me. I’m back to my normal chipper self and yeah i may have moments of ‘diva,’ but that’s because (and like i’ve stated before) I have a quick reaction to bullshit. I’m not someone who will let anyone walk all over me. Or tell me what to do if i don’t see them setting the correct example.

I’m inspired by those who have achieved more than me. Not held down by people who are on the same chipping block or worse. I’m encouraging and not a hater. Ever a hater. I don’t have to be.  That’s the first key to being a success. Knowing what you have, loving what you already have, being a good person and being grateful for it all.

I got to wake up today, plan out my business, get ready for an interview, plan for my weekend work arrangements and alongside all of that cuddle my GORGEOUS  little baby boy, who beamed at me with giggles this morning and kiss my ADORABLE little Ruby..who was filled with love and laughter. Then I did the nursery run, which is something that I love to do with them. It’s the simple things really that I adore and well i’m really grateful for the people who care for them over there.  Both kiddies beamed when they saw ‘nursery nurse’ Alice today. Ruby rushed to her in absolute excitement and Junior…well he’s more chilled, he’s like a glamour puss, 🙂 he immediately opened his big, wide eyes and reached for her with absolute glee. Makes me happy to see that they have a second Mummy. Lol. A blond one, who they need in their lives. 🙂

Right now in my own life, I feel like i have it all. I feel happy and stable. I’m not going to let anything neative tinker around my block.I just now need to to make the correct steps in order to finally seal the deal on happiness and get back to what i call the next chapter! #excited




Ravers..Glow sticks and Answers…


Question for ravers! Real question for ravers!

I want to know how long, glow stick remains lit and glowy, once it has been *snapped?* Now, I don’t want to know this because i’ve decided to run off to a dodgy motorway warehouse, with glow in the dark warrior paint on my face, sunglasses and a bag of pills. I’m not a raver. I’ve never been a raver. I don’t dance with glow sticks, i stick to what I know best and that’s…men. Hot ones. 🙂 But even that was in the olden days. I don’t do partying much now…well it’s not a priority anymore as such. 🙂 Most olden days are turned all black and white. I like to think mine are a glistening and somewhat tacky gold and deep pink combo.My past is like one of those rubbish macaroni gluey pasta pictures. You can either call it a ‘toddlers work of art’ or simply call it a mess. Yee-haa! The good thing about those pictures is that they are often sprinkled with glitter AND if the bits drop off, you can simply glue them right back on again! (Kinda like my boobs.)

But yes, I’m not a raver. I’ve been far to glamourous in life to deal with sweaty ravey warehouses. I have martini’s in my hand, not glow sticks. Plus, all the glow stick people I know always do the the exact SAME DANCE?? They’re all rubbish dancers. (I’m a hip hop gurl. I ca totally get down with a ‘dutty wind.’ 😉 ) Yet, they all know the same rubbish, glow sticky. OR even worse, they come far too close to you and start whooshing them around your face, like some wizard, thinking you’re on pills too. #weirdos

Anyway, now that i’ve insulted you. 🙂 I really do want to know the ‘glow’ life of a glow stick and because i’m going to be making Halloween ghosts, ‘Blue Peter’ style with Ruby in a day or so. We’re drawing ghost eyes and mouths on empty plastic milk juggy things and throwing glow sticks in them to make them light up like lanterns. #goodmumalert. The thought of Ruby with carving knives, alongside my ultimate fear of sharp things probably wouldn’t go down well. It’d be like the terrified, leading the blind. Nothing would get done! Plus, Junior would be bored. He loves glowy lights because he has an inner ‘disco.’ (Nursery reported that he loves the disco ball that they have. I’ve birthed an Asian John Travolta? ) Milk jug, glow sticky ghosts it is then!!! I just don’t want to snap glow sticks too early, so that the lanterns fade out by the time it’s Halloween. That would be pointless. I’m used to being pointless…yes. However, it’s for the ‘Winkles’ so I have to look somewhat organized, don’t i!! (The first thing Ruby said to me this morning, as I pushed open her bedroom door was, ‘I’ve wee’d myself and it’s YOUR fault.’ 🙂 ) She thinks i’m her toddler friend or something and not her actual ‘respect me’ Mother? The only time she’s all gooey wooey with me is when she’s tired and needs me to cuddle her because the dark has decided to scare her. (Meaning she wants me to fight off monsters.) OR when i pick her up from nursery and simply because the other babies all gleefully shout, ‘That’s Ruby’s MUMMY’…I’m popular. Lol.  She likes that because she gets more attention. 🙂 She elbows them all out the way shouting , ‘That’s MY MUM, not YOURS.’ Then once in the car she’ll be evil to me, for kicks. Pahaha. #fun #not

On the whole, having kiddies is ace because you get to relive all those holiday seasonal memories and make them your own once more. Unless you had a rubbish childhood, then it’s even better because YOU yourself actually get to do them this time! Yippeee!

But yes…ravers…glow sticks…how long! Messages on a postcard, with a stamped addressed envelope. 🙂

Can’t wait to send them to nursery as pumpkins on Thursday!

Building that foundation…


Happy Tuesday!

I’ve had an eventful weekend and what i’ve learnt throughout this jolly weekend of life is that Autumn freaks me out, cars that are fixed run better, love is all you need, a glamour puss wins every time and that when it comes to life…it’s always the simplest pleasures that make me happy. I spent yesterday doing very normal, yet very loving bits of life with a being who stands by me as ‘my other half.’ Even though we’ve done so much and both lived lives of largeness, it’s those moments that I know I’d miss if life was to ever send us on another detour.

Nothing is put  in front of you that you can’t handle and well yesterday was a great day. Positive, loving and back to how it used to be. Mummy hood is a dream. My love life has kicked back into action. I’m feeling much better within myself. (Pregnancy can be draining.)  I’m back to glammy. I’m winking. I’m smiling AND my sex live has revved up it’s little rusty engine. I naturally quite enjoy a bedroom’ rompy-doo’ and when you don’t have it in a while, you forget how much you enjoy it when you do. However, the person you choose to have it with MATTERS. I’ve chosen a great life partner when it comes to that area of ‘wink-wink’ and well i don’t think i’m too bad at the art of ‘sexy’ myself. When you’re a chick, you definitely enjoy sex more when you’re in your 30’s. I don’t know whether your inner cougar kicks in or what? But older ladies are better at sex and simply because they know what they like, they experiment with themselves, they’re less inhibited when it comes to ‘ooh laa’ and much more confident between the ‘shh’ for sheets. For Christmas I think I want more boobies. I love boobs in general and mine are much less comedy these day after two children. I kinda found them much funnier when they were giant bazuka’s of bouncy ‘boom-boom.’ I want them back. I swear down they’ve shrunk!!!!! And yeah I guess everything’s in proportion once more, as they still look decent enough, with a wiggle and a wink. But I’m a glamour puss. I like status, power, boobie, diamond dripped EXCESS… in moderation of course. 🙂 And yeah I get the whole, more than a handful is a waste. But all i’m gonna say to that is Keiran has big hands? 🙂

Aside from that, the children had an amazing weekend, filled with the magic of Christmas, fairy lights and dinners. I’m balancing everything out accordingly now and i’m back to being my chipper, silly, whimsical self. Not only do I enjoy it more, but the kids do also. I mean, I spent the morning giggle dancing to both of them before nursery in my zebra pants and this was after I had sprinkled what I called ‘happy dust’ (it was imaginary…don’t ask) on my husband so he wouldn’t wake up grumpy. 🙂 If you think that’s weird, I pretend ‘oiled’ him last night because he looked like a creaky Robot, during Peter Andre’s life, on our telly box. I’ve decided that I definitely want Peter Andre’s life. Have you been watching his show!?! he has it all these days and well i’d quite enjoy the masses worshiping me for a while My heart is always always with entertainment as it’s the one thing I know how to do and actually always love. I never have a bad day when doing it. However, once you plonk out a couple of beautiful bambinos…things change and stability, alongside a whole lot of money making needs to take place quite quickly. You find yourself sacrificing your dreams in order to securely build a  foundation of the future if your little family. If you’re already ahead in the game of entertainment at this point, then you’re lucky. If not, you have you readjust and rethink the chances you take, because you can’t afford to waste time or lose money.

But, nonetheless, I believe that whatever is meant to happen in your life will. I believe in true love. I believe in dreams coming true and I believe that everyone gets what they deserve or what they attract to them. Being positive matters and it was in a moment yesterday that I remembered.

Yesterday morning, i managed to have a lay in. Laying in never happens to me these days. Not only did i manage to lay in, but I also managed to wake up next to my chunka-hunka. Then we got to naked chill in bed as we looked out the window into the sky, just chatting about life and the world.

You really should make the most of the 100 years you are blessed with…as we really are just little lemmings, on this giant disco Earth ball, orbiting the sun, which is suspended in the Universe. Very ‘Trekky’ of me I know. But it’s true. The little bits of negative don’t matter. You, your world, your life and the people you love DO MATTER. Make the most of it and please don’t waste your time on the things that don’t.

Ruby and Junior are amazing. They fill my heart with bundle of giddy giggles every day. Keiran and I are two peas in a pod. We go through a lot, but once the balance is formed, we’re always okay. It’s sort of like watching Junior try to sit up. He’ll wibble, he’ll wobble..he’ll topple over again and again. But one day he’ll just plonk down and sit up, straight and strong and once he can, after finding his balance, he’ll be able to do it for the rest of his life successfully and with a smile. That’s us. I guess the thing that powers the both of us is love. Not a bad thing to be powered by, by the way. We’re able to see the good in one another and often we get clouded by the negatives, but we never let the negatives get the better of us, in the end. We have a family and we ARE that family. We owe it to ourselves and the children to give it our best shot. That shot should be without question, with supreme stability and forever. From day one, we’ve lived by the ‘sink or swim’ theory. To this day, even those we’ve lost on armbands on occasion…:)…we’re still swimming and i’m proud of us. We’ve done everything really quickly and I don’t think it’s a bad thing, I think it’s just the way life wanted it to be for us. Like I said in my previous blog, the most successful beings are those that can take the bricks that life throws at them and once taking the hit, begin to  lay a strong foundation with those very same bits of rubble.

I’m excited. I’m happy and i’m proud.

Enjoy Tuesday folks!









Just heard the wrong thing…


Nothing is more disappointing when you just *hear* the wrong thing. It doesn’t matter whether that ‘wrong’ thing is the fact that you didn’t get a job, you didn’t win the prize, you didn’t get the grades, you didn’t get invited or you aren’t as loved as you hoped you would be. Hearing the wrong thing, is always bad and certainly upsetting as time goes by. But in those moments I’ve sort of just learnt to breathe it out, say nothing and move forward emotionally. People are in control of their own feelings. Even if they push the blame of their own feelings on others, they are still responsible for that feeling and  the way they feel about anything really. I know, i’ve been there. It’s not the funnest feeling, but it sure as hell happens. #goodie #not

So, last night, although boring for me, as both my kiddies had been allocated out…I sort of dilly dallied and thought really hard inbetween bits of this: 🙂 When bored, do wine and picture taking. I’d be hit on all day by what seemed like every single male in existence, during afternoon drinks with sexy friends. So it was kinda dull to be sat at home and have no-one to ‘snap back to reality’ with. I did wine. I did photos. I did ‘posting’ them everywhere. 🙂

I’ve sort of begun my whole glammy kitten thing again and I forgot how it makes the masses respond.  Anyone would’ve thought that I was walking down the street in nothing but nipple tassles and heels, yesterday afternoon. ‘Walking..windy…honk…honk…sitting…drinking…can I have your number…blah…blah…’It reminded me of LA, as the boys there aren’t shy and they’ll hang out of their cars ‘hollering’ at you until you love them. I spent my 20’s not even being able to leave the house without cars filled with horny men, curb crawling or shouting ‘ooh laa’ at me, the entire time I was visible. It got so crazy that there was a point where I suffered from anxiety when I was on my own. I needed to have someone with me…like a mask. It was hilariously odd. But I wouldn’t change a thing. It made me learn men very quickly. That was my normal existence. That was my history and probably very different to the history of any of the girls here in Yorkshire. Yet i adore the girls that understand and don’t at all care about the chicks that don’t. Lol. They usually being their journey with me via ‘hate.’ Not a good first impression, as it’s the same as a fake nicery.

Yesterday in Yorkshire, it felt like those LA days, but on a less glamourous level. 🙂 I don’t know what it is about me that stirs them, but it does? A lot has happened to me in my life with men and at the same time as meeting horrific ones, i’ve met a lot of amazing ones. Nonetheless, I always said that the one that remained my ‘forever’ would be the most impressive one and the one that openly declared his heart romantically and always. He had to be the strongest man alive. I could pick when I was young…so i could set a standard like that. I’ve taken that standard with me, right into my 30’s. I’m a loving girl, wrongly and often labelled ‘a bitch’ by those who don’t know me or those who have done ME wrong. I know what I want, when I want it and what is going to work.

I heard the wrong thing last night. It altered something. Yet the good thing about hearing the wrong thing , is that you’ve probably heard the truth and nothing is more positive than the truth. That’s the good thing. Plus, it didn’t end on the ‘wrong hearing’ didn’t end on a bad note. I just have to decide if it was meant the way I took it. I don’t know if I felt betrayed or hurt? Or if i felt disrespected?  But I know the main thing i felt was ‘real,’ because I have been in the exact same frame of mind of what I ‘wrong heard’ soooo many times through life and each time, i’ve never ever given anything chance or time to recover from that feeling. I’ve just snipped it away, grabbed my heels and run, so that I didn’t get hurt and didn’t waste my time. Hence why i’ve been in so many unsuccessful relationships. I never let time heal them…when it could’ve so. So hearing what I heard, triggered off bad memories for me and a bad feeling because of how I have acted upon that feeling previously in my own life. It never seems to end up good because I always thought that once that spark had flittered that was it. However, according to wiser people the spark is something that comes and goes…yet it should always be there enough, even on a low emb,  to manage to hold on positively and know of a better time. I’ve just always thought in love the person that is your forever will always see the good in you no matter what because that is what i’m used to from the people who love me and the people who have loved me correctly. The ‘wrong hearing’ incident just didn’t fall right, i think. I’m a sensitive girl. It just didn’t fall correctly.

Ruby was with Daddy Pete and I missed her madly. She had a ‘stay over’ and she loved it. As soon as she came home the house lit up. She’s just like me and i love her for it. Every inch of her personality IS ME, that’s why i share this massive fondness and connection with her. I understand her fully. I can never ever be mad at her. But see what I mean…that’s love. She’s wonderful and well I can certainly say that a house is not a home unless you have it filled with family. Friends don’t count because they’ll never love you as much as your family do, ever. I missed having her running around the house. It was SO GOOD to have her home this morning! Made my day!

But yes. I did lunchy posh drinks yesterday and well this evening i’ve decided to let loose and have some fun. I haven’t in ages and well i have a dress on it’s way to me, i’m gloriously glamming up and i’m off to *shimmie-giggle* at a gentleman’s business, bitty, doo-dah. All those in big business will be there and so it’s important to be able to have fun and network at the same time. It’s all about who you know. I don’t like to waste time. If i’m out, I’m networking and letting others waste their time. Plus, tonight is catered to business networking in our local area. I like money. Lets make it. Invite only.

On the whole I feel positive. It’s funny because I had a conversation last night about dreams, and goals. I know what I want in life and out of life and it’s silly when people don’t think I do. I’ve done EVERYTHING, I have ever wished for it life and fast. I’ve managed to do it fast out of determination and having the funds and means to be able to achieve it. I wanted to move to Hollywood. I did. I wanted to be a model. I did. I wanted to marry a movie star..I did..and that was all before I was 24.

Then I wanted to come home. I did. I wanted to continue my career. I did. I wanted to be on a tv show. I did it. I wanted to fall in love and start a family. I did. Basically..you get what i’m saying.

I’m not one to be underestimated.

Don’t be forgetting that! I’ve done a lot in life and achieved massively. I’m super proud of myself and well it’s only really the beginning.

The most successful beings are the ones that can ‘lay a foundation from the bricks that others throw at them.’

But first, you need to get your priorities right!

Ps/ Perception and what people hear or make you think is a BIG thing. It’s crazy. If you’re not there and living it all the time. You don’t know.  For example, i heard someone make a passing comment, in a derogatory fashion this morning, briefly but certainly…and aimed at me also. This person doesn’t known the full situation. Yet the crazy thing is that the person they had made the flying derogatory comment about had actually, even the EVENING before stated how much they held that being in their highest regards. Terrible isn’t it. Judge your characters properly. See stories for how they really are.

Rain, Cars & Jamming


GOD!!! I’m pissing myself off! I’ve decided to blame the fact that the day began rainy. I hate the rain. It puts me in a dodgy mood. Now everything seems to be going wrong, in the good old ‘domino’ stylio. I wanted today to be a relaxing day of household, kitty cat behaviour. Maybe ‘d do a bit of mulling around? Maybe i’d do a bit of cleaning. (I know, very Cinderella of me.) BUT NOW, I’ve gone and jammed the hoover and so nothing productive around the home can be achieved. The shit thing about jamming the Hoover is that fact that I can’t un-jam the fricking thing simply because I have NAILS.

Nails are the most annoying thing on the planet right now. You can’t do anything in them. You can text, press a button, work a Sat Nav, do up clothing, un-jam hoovers. You can’t function AT ALL and it’s annoying me to the point where I’m now going to have them taken off. I don’t have arm strength and my nail make the ends of my hands be unable to work effectively that i’ve had enough!! At the end of the day glamour is glamour, but when you’re running your household by yourself…and I am. It’s just the Kids and I doing everything on our ownsome. On some days, my mum may pop in…On other days a boy’ll pop in.  All people that I have to also look after. I mean, I don’t mind, but i’d like to feel like a Princess again. Feel of worth. Feel special. Be treated the way I deserve to be deserve to be treated. I mean, none of my bouji chick friends have to go through any of this. They sit and get pampered all day by themselves, their husbands,their children,  their blessings 🙂  and well they’re able to let the menial tasks in life, get dealt with by others. I’m tired of doing everything for everyone now. I think i’m looking for a moment, where i’m taken from my ‘Cinderella’ rags, told i’m beautiful, romanced and freed from the daily stresses of ‘the stuff i hate to do’ and treated to love, excitement and luxury. I guess, my tolerance level has taken a dip for the time being. 🙂 But whatever, i’ll pack my pity party away. It doesn’t help anything. Just annoys me more. I will tell you that I ALWAYS remember the good people, who do good things for me. I remember them and those moment beginning from waaay, waaay back. Like I remember a friend of mine Kevin Brown from when I worked at Crunch Gym, in LA. I was driving to the club, it was late, I was dressed up and it was one of those ‘never ever happens’ rainy nights in LA! It NEVER happens. Anyway, my car broke down on a busy uphill canyon and was stuck in the middle of the road causing mayhem.

I didn’t have anyone to call who could help, so I called some of the people who I would be meeting. Kevin was the only one who could help…(or who could be bothered to 🙂 ) He came as soon as he could. Pushed my car to safety. Got it towed for me and at HIS OWN expense. Told me to sit in his car as he sorted it all out and that it was a ‘man’s job and not mine to worry about. When all  was done and he was drenched in rain, he got back in his car and peacefully drove us both to the club, through the rain with a smile, a ‘nooo you don’t owe me anything,’ and a ‘lets just get to the club and get a drink pronto!’ He was just a really good guy that just did good things for people without expecting anything back for them. He was form Michigan and sort of out of sorts in Hollywood, as no-one in LA is made of the same simple goodness. It was only a small moment in my life. But i remember it. Later he told me why he did it and he said he did it because when he first moved out to LA, he was stone cold BROKE, as in had not even $5 to his name, hence why he started working at the gym. He couldn’t afford lunch one day and was starving and it took him a great deal, but he asked me if he could just borrow $3 to grab a snack. (I was on his shift.) Apparently without even flinching and because I secretly knew he really needed help and I also knew that he was a good person, who was just starting out in a big town…. i handed him over everything that was in my purse, which was only about $40 at the time, with a smile and a ‘here you go, grab yourself lunch.’ He obviously refused to take so much for his lunch, yet he said that I gave it to him with a ‘shrug’ and giggled it off deliberately to make him feel comfortable, to make sure I wasn’t demeaning him in anyway and well because i genuinely felt he needed it, without him having to say. He looked at me sooo thankfully and finally took it. HE remembered that moment and he remembered how he made that $40 last him until his next pay day. #aww. He’s the type of person who would helped anyone anyway, yet that evening, he MADE SURE that he would help me out when I needed him. I had completely forgotten about that $40. It’s crazy how the smallest moments that you don’t realize can mean so much to someone that they remember it forever. I don’t know where Kevin is today, but I truly hope life has served him well. I LOVE good people! 

Ah see, I feel much better now that i’ve remembered a happy moment.

Y’know, I can’t even get my nails taken off today because I now have no wheels. LOL. I’ve never wanted to hoover so much in my life! 🙂  My car decided to almost die on me this morning, so I had to get my mum to take the children to nursery, as I promptly drove the car to the ‘local fixer uppers.’ It had no oil, water, coolent or working brake pads and the Mercedes specialist has to also fix the faulty gear box because it is not going past 3rd. It’s in there all weekend, so no driving for me until Monday! I’m happy to have ti fixed and safe. The guy expressed how dangerous it would be for me to drive the car right now and how i needed to take better car of it. Come Monday, it’ll apparently be like a whole new ‘brum-brum’ and i’ll be able to whizz around like a glamourous…maniac, with brakes and working gear box. Yipppeee! 🙂

It’s weird because I never used to drive, but now that I do, I can’t imagine living without a car anymore!!! I don’t know how i’m going to survive until Monday? Hilarious!

It was fun because I met some really weird people this morning, a dodgy old man in a crocodile dundee hate and a finger for his keyring. Then other boys who looked like they were hooligans or naughty boys in their youth. They were on about how funny and cool it was that a bunch of kids cut the cables off a giant helium balloon thingy, that advertised a car mechanics. One of those big ridiculous ones that look like a man, that has is arms all horizontal and ready to fly. They did it for a laugh and a dare and some of the men found it funny.

I don’t think that that’s that funny. 🙂 I mean, one of those balloons costs a business £400-500, and it to fill that entire balloon up ONE TIME, it costs £150. You’ll probably have to fill it up at least 5 times to keep it a float. Well..I KNOW you do! That’s not that funny, when kids come along and cut the cable for it to float off for a laugh. But I told them that I didn’t think it was that funny. I was the only girl in the joint and they were excited by my presence, so they went with it, blushing and apologised for being stupid. 🙂 AND they brought me coffee. 🙂 BOOYAH! Bet my brakes don’t work next week though. LMAO

Well it’s Friday. Hope you’re having a great day. I can’t hoover so i’m narked off, but chipper with it. Ruby had anxiety last night and refused to go to sleep in order to wait up pointlessly. When she has anxiety she poos herself continously. It was sad to see her in that state because she craves stability. She likes routine. But this morning she was fine and she cuddled and kissed me like I was a little puppy. Brought a smile to my face. But i’m watching her and making sure that she’s in tip top emotional condition..don’t worry.

But yeah, at least the suns poked out a bit now.

Today is flying by!!

PS. How many of you cried your eyes out to Educating Yorkshire last night! We all have a crush on Mr.Burton now, don’t we! What a great human and a great teacher. Follow him on Twitter @matthewcburton




Little Miss.Impressy Pants


Good afternoony, my delicious delights of ‘Wa-woo-wee.’

How are ya?

Last night I got snuggled and it felt truly wonderful. I also nearly got killed…which wasn’t as fantastic, yet when you’re being accidentally strangled and pushed in the face, by a handsome gent who is the middle of his own dream land, you kinda don’t mind. Lord knows what he was dreaming of? At least it ended in laughter. I’m not that easy to ‘do away’ with.

I’m in a playsuit today…a poshy looking one, that still however radiates ‘dolly.’ Playsuits suck and simply because when you need a quick wee, it is the most impossible trauma to overcome ever. I held my wee for sooooo long that in the end i just HAD to go. I’m no good at holding my wee these days, after giving birth twice. I think my natural thought is to let things fall off out my ‘downstairs,’ instead of making them stay in. It’s abnormal to me. If i can’t keep babies in, I can’t keep wees in.

Today, I felt like a proper twit, because I had to sit on a corporate loo this morning stark naked and  simply because when in a playsuit, it’s ALL GOT TO COME OFF. Plus, clever me, didn’t choose an easy playsuit. Nooo! As that would be fa too sensible. I chose the ‘arm out, arm out, belt off, zip down, button to undo, pull down, re-unzip’…playsuit. Which after your wee, is even more annoying because you then have to do the ‘pull up, arm in, arm in, zip up, button to do, belt on,’ version of events. It ruined my morning and ruined my weeing.

It’s funny because you never do know what’s going on behind the door of each stall do you? It’s kinda like hotel room doors. Behind my lucky door, was ME…FULLY NAKED and in heels. To some, that would be regarded as sexy. But the simple fact that I was doing a wee and pulling pissed off faces, due to having to be naked… makes it less ‘Come to Mama.’

I’m feeling sexy,  i’m feeling in love and it’s a good feeling because i’m starting to get my glamour puss back on. I think when in a relationship it’s important to have a crush on your partner always and sometimes when you get used to being with your partner that crush fades, to take them for granted, you forget that they’re hot or you start to lose your ‘va voominess.’

What I learnt last night is that the Pussycat Doll ‘Beep’ song is right.

GIRLS, please do remember that men are visual creatures. You may have a ‘real big heart’…but they really are honestly…’looking at cha *beep.*’ Men want their arm candy to be their trophy. It’s how they work…And by that I don’t mean, do a ‘Wunna’ and over tan, over eyelash, squeezy tight ya boobies and get to winking with big hair and too much lippy. That’s my thang and it works for me. I do the dolly, glamour puss McJiggy very well.

Do YOUR thing, the ‘thing’ that makes you look sexy to your ‘otherside of the pillow.’ However, make sure you stick to being you, as nothing is worse than trying to be something your not. For example, if i try and do ‘au naturale,’ 🙂 it doesn’t work and it doesn’t work because I don’t feel comfortable. I had forgotten to be a fully fledged glamour puss of recent due to pregnancy, babies, pregnancy, babies…hormones…pregnancy…babies. 🙂 Now, i’m getting my swiggedy back on and boy it feels GOOD. I’ve stepped up my game and kittens…i’m loving it.

I think that it’s important to impress your other half and it doesn’t matter if  you’re the girl counterpart of the relationship or the boy counterpart of the tango. In fact, whatever counterpart you are in relationship..be impressive. Be impressive always, as people are nicer to impressive folk. Well decent people are. The haters will hate on you, if your too impressive and for no apparent reason. The decent beings will be inspired by you and embrace their inner ‘ooh laa,’ due to your stance. I have a mild disliking for people who hate on those who are or have been a success. However, like I always say, it’s always the people that are doing ‘less well’ that do the hating.

Okay, I’ve really got to go. I have a lunch meeting and well no time to get to it.


Short blog.



Baby sniffles, Life and Snails

I’ve LOST Ruby’s pet snail. Completely lost it. She’s going to be sooooo hideously upset. But what can I do? One minute it was there, chilling, not doing much but being sticky. The next minute it had VANISHED. I even named it ‘Sammie’ for her. (Ruby can’t seem to name things with proper names. She calls all her toys ‘Shambuboom’ or whatever? She thinks names have to be far too exotic than they need to be. Fair enough her dolly is called ‘Alexia,’ yet that’s only because there is a Baby Alexia at nursery. (I had a mum pull a dolly out her car during nursery pick up two days ago and say, ‘Chrissie…this is apparently Baby Junior.’ Love it. Naming your dollies after my son. The most adorable thing to do ever! Infact there was a time when people would name their domestic pets…. as in kittens’ after me. I met a guy in G.A.Y on the dance floor mid-boogie and he said he had named his kitten ‘Chrissie Wunna.’ This was straight after the Paris thing of course, as there would be no other reason to be naming your pets Wunna at all.  He later changed the kittens’ named to ‘Jackanory.’ AS IF! Lol. 🙂 )

Anyway, I’ve lost my child’s domestic..well sort of domestic pet. Maybe chocolate will make her feel better. he’s really gotten into me buying her affection. So hopefully it’ll work. I can’t believe Sammie the snail legged it? Where the hell is he?? He can’t have gone anywhere THAT FAST! I should’ve named him ‘Speedy,’ or ‘Amphetamine.’

So, today i’ve had a Baby Junior day. He’s not allowed in nursery whilst ill, in case his lergy spreads to all the other ‘winkles.’ Therefore i’ve worked from home and cared for him. He’s screamed all day, simply because that’s what boys do at me, when they have my full attention. But now he’s chipper and simply because I took him on an outing, after abandoning all work (you really can’t get ANYTHING done, when you have children with you, when it comes to work ) and well I let him flirt with old ladies at the Co-Op. He made him smile. THEN nursery called to say that Ruby’s now poorly and saying that her ‘arm hurts.’ It’s apparently all swollen and ouchy. Poor thing. So, that’s another bambino on the wounded ward. I’m gonna have to take her to the Doctors again.

So much is happening right now with love, work and life in general. I have a big audition, a big interview and a whole lot of madness approaching. I’m juggling work and babies and i’m doing alright at it. Luckily, when i’m out and about and struggling, there seems to be a lot of kind hearted do gooders around me.

Today a guy saw that I couldn’t push in the buggy handle, in order to pack it in my boot, due to a distinct lack of strength. He came and did it for me. AND another guy carried my shopping out to the car simply because I had Junior. How sweet.

But yeah, other than all that…it is difficult and I’ve done a lot on my own this afternoon…it’s okay. Lot’s of women go through the same. I’m one of the lucky ones. I get a lot of help, be it from strangers or those close to me.

It’s important to refrain from feeling sorry for yourself and learn to adjust your way of thinking. I was super down last night and I had no idea why? I was thinking all sorts and well it wasn’t very healthy because all my thoughts were negative. Instead of dwelling on them, I changed my way of thinking to ‘positive.’ Sometimes you’re not as down as you think you are, so don’t let anyone or even yourself talk you into it.

Be happy, be lucky, love hard and enjoy life. You can be a success. You are a success!

Must go.

I’ve blogged in Juniors nap time! BOOYAH!




Arms, Love & Gay Discos



My arms are KILLING from trying to lift, hold and carry bambinos. Surely the arms of a lady should be made for this…like our hips. Damn you hips! But nope. I have rubbish working arms, that go along with my rubbish working eyes. Add Glamour Puss to that array of juiciness and you have trouble. I hate anything that aches…headache, arm ache, heart ache…all ache’s suck.

Junior is one heavy little chunk of a Buddha…and well Ruby’s two. At two she still adores me to carry her to bed and simply because her baby brother gets that treatment. My arms can’t take it. They’ve had enough and have decided to ‘middle finger’ the world with a ‘give in.’ They want rum. In life I don’t think I need to hire people to do the BIG things, like help me take over the world and all that whatnot. It’s the basic little things such as seeing for me and carrying for me that I need. (All my hair’s still falling out. I know pregnancy causes this…yet i’m hardcore malting…and it’s really not too fetching. You stand too close to me and a chunk of my hair will be wrapped around your button hole, after I’ve walked away.)

Today, I love happy couples. The idea in love is to find your perfect partner and ‘do life’ with them. You want to be able to look back after time ans see the memories in life. These days people have forgotten that, or so I thought!!! Nope! Today I saw tons of happy young, old and middle aged couples, being in love, sharing life and with hand holds. I always think that when you no longer hold your partners hand when you walk, you’ve lost the spark that you once had. It’s the little things. Yet, that unlit spark doesn’t mean abandon ship and being feeding love to lions, it just means you have to relook, meander and find a way to get that bitty bit of magico back to sprinkle baby. It’s not that hard. It’s easy.

I’ll never forget this old man on a train who told me that after 40 years of marriage, his wife still excites him. His wife wasn’t there and that’s why I adored what he said, because how your partner acts when you’re not there matters. You may have a partner who is good to you always and a shit head behind your back. You may have a partner who is terrible to you most of the time, yet speaks highly of you when you’re not around. Or you may be lucky enough to have a partner that openly loves and adores you all the time no matter what, without fear of what the other person thinks. Not many people are lucky to have that, but when you do…it’s great.

(I’ve just remembered that I’ve run out of wine.)

My Facebook page is weirdly ‘liking’ whatever it wants again. Apparently I ‘like’ Tunisia Security, some random male model, porn and Travel Zoo? I’ve never gone onto any of the pages and ‘liked’ them. My page just decided to do it. It happens to everyone, so check through yours, for kicks. It’s fun seeing what you apparently enjoy…for about one second.

I don’t have anything else to say really other than i’ve worked hard today and rewarded my son by turning his bedroom window into a gay disco. It has rubbish LED fairy lights around it now, simply because he loves lights. But I love it and well tonight i’ll see if he loves it too. Only I can make my 4 month old son’s bedroom look like a Gay Disco. I have no idea how to raise a boy other than the normal stereotypical things like ‘football’ and ‘cars.’ Boo!

Right now it doesn’t really matter. But when he’s older, it’s going to odd. 🙂 I ADORE HIM nonetheless. He is far too cute for my nonsense.



C x

Chillies, Disco lights and Jesus


‘That’s not water! That’s Pinot Grigio, you idiot! As IF you’ve just tried to foolishly trick ME… of ALL people, when it comes to the difference between water and WINE!!’

I’ve just eaten too many chillies…and I do mean fresh chillies, as in a Big Brother type task and not chilli con carne. I’m not a ‘chubba.’ I snack more than I ‘main meal.’ Main meals terrify me because they look at me all angry with intimidation. I don’t like a lot of ANYTHING. I mean, I do like everything, just not something in GRAND amounts. (Aside from cold hard cash and love. The two main sources that anyone needs to get through life with a smile and great shoes.)

I’m a spicy food eater and i’m currently craving all things chillified. I decided to eat raw chillies with mature cheddar and olives. The idea was the quench my craving and well speed up my metabolism as I sweat all the bad toxins out. (It always makes my nose sweat.)

Anyway, they managed to get the better of me because I wasn’ t concentrating. I’ve eaten about 8 raw chillies. Hot ones. Everyone knows when you’ve burnt your throat and insides the best thing to *glug* down is something milky or creamy. (Not that. 😉 ) So, the body to the left of me…(never trust the people to your left) offers me WATER, which firstly is WRONG and secondly even worse when the ‘water’ isn’t water and is in fact WINE. Now, we all know i adore a vino, but that fucker would’ve SINGED my insides to the hell at back with a *sizzle-pop-dead* reaction. She tried to make me believe her Pinot was WATER. Who the hell does she think she’s talking to? I’m not Countryside Caroline, with back in the day bloomer on! I did my 20’s in Hollywood. Played with naughty modelling.. all my entire life. Went on the telly doing partying and drinking with the ‘at the time’ world’s biggest socialite…I think I know what a wine is! 🙂 She said she was like Jesus. Again WRONG! What is the matter with you peasants! 🙂 Jesus turned water INTO wine, not pretended all the wine in the world was a water. #thicko 🙂

I’m only feisty because the chillies have made me be. I’m dizzy and having an out of body experience. As if she tried to burn my entire insides with french party juice. HILARIOUS!

I’ve now got to go on a nursery run and pretend my mouth isn’t burning. I think i’m talking with a lisp?They’ll think i’ve had 42 rums.

Ruby wants to bake more cupcakes too, after her big cupcake bonanza. That’ll be fun… DIZZY. It’s made me need a lie down. Lol.

I love that Rubes is baking mad because as a result she FORCE FEEDS them to everyone and even though no-one wants to eat buns made by the grubby hands of a two year old, they end up having to, not even out of courteous, but because she’s SO FORCEFUL. Pahahaha. It humours me no end.

Tonight Grandma’s gonna have to eat 40 of them without question. I’m the only one she doesn’t feed them to, simply because she knows i’m as stubborn as she is.

I bought Junior disco lights during a quick lunch gap today. He’s obsessed with moving lights or twinkly things. I figured it’d be too much of a danger to have a glistening, giant chandelier placed above his cot…So instead I went with disco lights. We took him to Victoria garden centre and he was obsessed with them. He was almost numb with astonishment. He was probably going blind and we didn’t realize. But he looked like he loved them to me, so today..I bought them.

Then I took them back and bought moving fairy lights because they were battery operated instead of run off the electric. Less danger and much cheaper on my utilities. 🙂

A colleague turned around and told me off for purchasing disco lights for a 4 month old. They could’ve done it nicely but instead they said, ‘…it’s fucking nearly Christmas you idiot!!! BUY multi- action fairy lights! Disco balls my arse!’

But whatever remember that you’re talking to the girl who did 5 hotel nights when the boiler broke, instead of blankets.

Got to dash. The kiddies are at nursery and they need Momma to show up in 15!

Kisses xx

PS/ Did no-one do any work today or something because I sent out a bunch of very important emails this morning and not one person got back to me. Urgent much!