Good morning, my divine winks of love festival. I’m beaming with a bubble over of champagne giggles and light and simply because yesterday…was amazing.
You know when you have those days that make everything you do ‘worth it.’ It was one of those days. There I was sat at home in my living room, under my chandelier, in the middle of old Yorkshire and well in that moment I decided to go through some of my personal messages from you.
There was an entire section of ‘Wunna Love’ from women all over the land. Women from all walks of life and women who had never managed to open up until I told them my story. 🙂 You see, the way I think is that there’s nothing to be ashamed of provided you’re a good being and you’re honest about who you are and what you stand for, at the same time as being able to truthfully tell your story without feeling humiliated and under the main umbrella that states, ‘it’s life…it happens to everyone.’ And I guess that’s why people tend to relate to my blog, because everything i’m writing about…has happened to them at some point. Everyone’s heart has broken, everyone’s fallen in love, everyone’s lied, truthed, played, danced, hurt, cried…hidden or masked a part of them that they wished to keep secret. People have done things right, or done things wrong..Made good decisions and regretted the bad ones. Yet the main purpose of all this is to open up and tell your story and accept who you are in this little dance called ‘Life.’ It;s amazing how many people warm to those who do and simply because they see them as brave and usually the people that don’t are the people that are still unhappy with their lives and haven’t got around to fully discovering their strength yet. *Yee-Haa.*
I’ve deliberately told my story, just to simply document my life. It’s only the same as a teenage girl, who writes a diary every night before bed. I was that girl. I even did that in my 20’s on my LA condo balcony, in West Hollywood. I was able to put my life on a written platform simply because people seemed to be interested. THEN the GOOD PART came and the good part was the simply fact that people were being inspired by my story, or even the other side of the jolly line…they hated me for doing this, because it stirred them up emotionally.
Yesterday was great because I spoke to a lady who had been following my blog and wanted to give me a cuddle. You’re all seeing me and trying to cuddle me right now because you think i may have fallen to pieces. 🙂 I will remind you that i’m completely made of ‘glitter bricks’…so there’s no falling apart at the seams just yet. I don’t have time for a breakdown because my children and updo take me long enough to look after and nurture.
Anywat, long story short. She adored me. 🙂 I love people with wonderful taste. And she said that her job was to talk to girls on a daily basis, 7 days a week, who have been through the same thing as me and that only maybe 1 in 50 women were strong…and I was that 1, in that 50, who she states…(and I love this bit) is ‘amazing.’
‘Chrissie, you are a massive inspiration to all women AND men…and young girls. You’re do strong to know what you believe in and what you stand for and you be able to never give in to life and tell your tale. You make my job worth it,’
And there…she said it. Which suddenly in that moment made me realize that she had made MY JOB worth it.
I had loads of emails of that sort. Women who have stopped me to wish me well. Girls that I KNOW and see on a daily basis who have opened up and said, ‘Yeah, i’ve been feeling like that. That happened to me the other day.. My husband did that to me…’ And it was good to see people feeling comfortable enough to be real. It took me a mighty looong time to get to the comfy place that I’m in now emotionally and well whats the point in keeping the joy for myself…(other than GREED and selfishness of course. 🙂 ) Bu i got over that and decided to spread it. (Joy that is and well not anything you might imagine I’d spread.)
It’s funny to me how i’m depicted to people, who don’t really know me, because the simple me,…and that’s just ‘Chrissie’ is just..well…’Chrissie.’ 🙂 (Getting a flash back of when I went to visit a male fan, with a chaperone one time in LA…and he had made this baby sized shrine to me. I was so disappointed because it was rubbish. 🙂 I remember looking at him and he was all thumby and sweaty and bizarre around me and saying, ‘I thought I was your absolute sex goddess-like idol. All you’ve done is plonk a candle under a picture of me,that you haven’t even cut out right.’ 🙂 I did say it in jest, as of course i was flattered, but I didn’t realize that he would take it so personally and be so panicky about it. He wanted it to be exactly right for me and I had no idea that he saw me through such eyes. But he tried his best. I just have a standard of deliciousness, so if I was gonna do a shrine, I’d go ALL THE WAY OUT. There’d be disco balls and feathers, tinsel, a cotton candy cart… singing midgets and the lot. 😉 ) Hmm…? I have no idea why i’ve rambled on about that?)
Anyway, I’m happy to see that i’m inspiring and i’m happy that you’re seeing me as mighty. 🙂 It really does my ego good and when dolloped inbetween such a time of ‘limbo’…an ego massage it good. It sort of makes you KNOW that you can get through this, mend anything and do it with too much bronzer on.
One lady said that I have a really good grasp on reality and that was refreshing because no matter what I’ve been through in life, i’ve always managed to pack UP the pity party (even though i had laid it out for a day) and smile it all off with ‘there’s people in the world going through a lot worse.’ Even when that boy made me homeless in New York. (You idiot. I’m glad you find it funny today. He even tried to re-ask me OUT because he said out of all the girls he had dated…he really really regretted not making it right with me.) I simply called him an ‘idiot’…well a ‘dick’ because he was American and they get the word ‘dick’ better than ‘idiot.’ Then I grabbed my faux fur and swanned off into the distance with a smirk. In the words of my LA gays, who witnessed the entire joy of it all…and my friend Carrie…’ Wunna waved bye, bye to that penis enlargement like it couldn’t even make a nun happy.’ And even though stuff got bumpy afterward. I managed it. There was just me, so it was different. In my new hundred years later scenario with Keiran…(yes, I am a hundred years old trying to be 20…NOT) I have my baby ‘winklets,’ my tiny little bits of joy and it would really just be far too irresponsible to jolly along life, with a cocktail in my hand without being there for them, doing my own thing, whilst having no direction. That’s not me. That’s not who I am. OR what I stand for. I don’t take a break from my kids…no matter what happens to me or in my life. So, I adjust to mend the things that need fixing.
Bottom line…I’m saving the world, a wink at a time. I’ve always said that…and well I guess I still am.
LAST NIGHT, I managed to get accidentally HEAD BUTTED at 1.42am in the morning, by my OWN loin fruit,who had decided to wake up and moan a little bit…which then caused me to have a GIANT FRICKING NOSE BLEED, all over myself and the bed. 🙂
What IS my life!!!
Hilarious! As if my own daughter trundled up to me in the middle of the night and HEAD BUTTED me by accident! OUGH! I’m a Glamour Puss, not an angry Mike Tyson, by a arousing looking Koi pond. (That’s a private joke, which you’ll never get. So it’s quite stupid of me to type it at you like you might understand. It just makes me look like a lunatic.)
That’s how my morning began. Then Junior needed a feed. Then it zoomed to 6.44am and I was up. They were in nursery today before 8am, because I was Superman on coffee.
We we’re ace this morning because we had this family thing down. There was even time for booty wiggling and singing. But i’m not foolish enough to think that it’s not going to get harder. I start work, as in tomorrow and my commute for money is going to be early and far for the initial 3 months. Then i’m back to being local. I’m panicking a little because I’m thinking about how am I going to make this work!! But i have to and I will. Roll in the big bucks! I’ve always been good at making dosh.
Then on Monday I have to see a guy, who had taken me on as a ‘project’ about doing my Calendar. I’ll be headed to Manchester and arriving at noon. So, in the last week it’s been ‘go-go-go.’ And i think because i’ve panicked and thought i have to put a rocket under my arse and make it all happen now. Or maybe i’m much freer now to get on with it, as I only have to look after myself and the children. Men are sometimes quite difficult to look after, not because they’re so consuming…well some are… and that in itself is annoying. Yet because they’re so different to women. They see us as annoying also. Yet the fact is the best couples know this and embrace it. The worst ones don’t. When Keiran’s away I often worry about him like a Mum would..and i’ve always felt that way with him, right from the beginning. I used to say to him that it he brought out a weird maternal instinct in me. With men…we as women end up having to do everything for them. It’s just the way it pans out. Not all men though. Pete was sort of a modern day man, like his father. He did all the cooking and cleaning and everything. But I did all the paying. 🙁 Which I didn’t like. (Since all the drama, he’s actually stepped up his game, when it’s come to being ‘Daddy.’ Last night Ruby got a phone call from him, because he had missed her whilst he was on holiday. That’s never happened before. So, it’s good and refreshing for me to see. Plus, apparently the last time he went to nursery to pick Ruby up, I was told that the first thing he said to the nursery nurses was ‘How’s Junior?’ He went over to see him, cared for him and everything. To him, at the end of the day that’s Ruby’s brother and it’s important that their bond is strong.) I know quite a few good men, lots of good men actually and even though they might not adore ME..:) it’s positive to know that they’re about.
Okay, i’ve got to go. I’ve got to do a quick clean up, as I have a 10.30am meeting and i’m knackered. Up all night with the bambinos. Then after my meeting, which is only at home..I then have to do a little ‘fun thing’ for someone, which I can’t tell you much about.
Yesterday was good because The Gods showed me the impact that I was making and it might only be a little bit right now…in the end it will be a BIG bit and I just utterly know it.
Have a great Thursday.
I can’ t believe I got head butted by something that ventured out my privates. 🙂