It’s Wednesday! It’s *hump* day! Hope life is dandy!
I’m feeling much better today and simply because when I’m left to my own devices i’m actually a great deal more efficient that anyone would imagine. The kids have been great. Ruby was the most obedient little treat of love, with a wiggle in her ‘going to nursery with a smile’ step. Junior slept through the night and jollied me with giant poos, alongside giggles. (I caught him giggling at his own mirror image in his jungle gym yesterday. I’ve bred another vain child. There’s really no hope is there. However I do adore that his first ever word…was a *giggle* and at the sight of his own image.)
But yeah, being left to myself works for me…i get things done with a smooth smear of glitter and ease. I’m like some kind of marvellous Fairy God Mother, but with swag. (I haven’t done my face yet, so my blog is confused as to who I am hence all the oddities.) I think when I have people watching over me I fumble and because i’m a spolit brat. If Keiran’s here, i expect him to ‘Princess’ me and give in at the first rung of hard work because I know he’ll help me. Today has been great and because i’ve felt free and not watched over. When you’re not watched over and you handle things brilliantly with a whole heart, it means your a total good person. I’ve shocked myself. I think I need a morning cocktail to celebrate my goodness. I don’t like to be monitored. I don’t know why? It just creeps me out. I’ve decided it’s because i’m a Sagittarius and simple because i’m out of ideas and or people to blame. Life is good today and well it’s all about taking it a day at a time whilst you enjoy the scenery and smell the roses and all that hoo-haa. (Watching ‘Desperate Housewives,’ I’m Gaby…and i’m completely confused by anyone who isn’t Gaby.)
Anyway, since i’ve been ball and chained to mummy-hood and scrubbing sides down, i’ve had to live through my friends who are all doing lie the way i used to. My good friend Rachel, who I last saw at my wedding managed to STALK his Royal Highness Prince William onto a train and ‘give him ass’ as she calls it. All she did was scoot past him, with her butt side forward, which was quite honorable really to say the other option was her ‘crotch side.’ I love Rach and simply because whenever we’ve hung out we’ve always ended up stalking some celebrity and she’s always ended up getting thrown out, being naughty, having the police called on her or maybe getting SHOT AT. She’s all delicious, blond, intelligent and boobied, so it’s hilarious. She’s like a hoochie bond girl, with a posh accent and a wink. But yes, if anyone could manage to stalk Prince William it would be her and she did! Apparently if it was Harry, she would’ve given him the ‘crotch.’ Pahaha. That’s how I used to live! Like I swear I used to be fun. Drinking helped though. When I’m skinny i’ll prowl out and about again in some too tight dress and heels. Until then i’m in hibernation and concentrating on raising the family. I mean it’s be a bit rude of me to just give birth to a baby boy and when he’s only 20 something days old high five him with a ‘you’re on ya own kiddo.’ 🙂 That’s not mean. I moan about making the sacrifice, but I love it really. I watched both Ruby and Junior sleep last night and I couldn’t have felt more wonderful. It was one of those moments where you secret smile to yourself as you close their bedroom doors and sigh with happiness.
I ended up cooking a giant spag bol for ‘The Wunna’s’ last night. My family do a lot for me so it’s always good to give back. We gossiped, loved and lived over pasta and no-one keeled over at the sight of my cooking. Ruby adored it. For some reason she’s a child who just loves family time. She loves the idea of everyone being together and happy. She loves to see Mummy and Daddy holding hands and being in love. It’s bizarre for a little one to notice and adore it so much. But it means a lot to her. She was so excited to be sat around a table eating with the entire family, minus Daddy. Great things are happening right now and i’m beginning to re-realize how lucky I am.
Other than needing to do my hair and face and trying to calm down my current online buying obsession, i’m trying to find a job. I still have time as Junior’s not in nursery yet. However, they did call yesterday stating that they are ready to have him whenever I am really…as the waiting list (which he had to be on for an entire year and before he was even born) was filling up. He seems so little to be learning his A,B,C’s. But if I look at Ruby and how smart she is now, i don’t think nursery is a bad thing at all!
I certainly need more coffee and I certainly need to rent a sunbed. I know i’ve been getting shit loads of spray tans of recent, but i’m more of a sunbed girl…as awful as that sounds. I never have time to go get tanned, so I’m thinking instead of me venturing off somewhere, I need to bring the sun to me. I’m looking into today, at the same time as booking an appointment to register my son. #priorties
I’m also fancying a last minute holiday. A sunny, sunny one with Keiran. I only want to go for 4 days, as I’d miss the children too much. But maybe in August, somewhere brief, sunny and abroad to celebrate our one year wedding anniversary.
Can you believe that Keiran and I, come August will have been married for one whole year and will have been together almost TWO years by that point. Being in a long term stable relationship is really important to both of us and we’ve found that. It’s like we’ve brought it out in one another, as it was always there but we just needed the right life partner. Keiran and I are an ideal match and i’ve always felt really worshiped by him…even when it’s been bad. For me to have dated someone for almost two years is a MIRACLE. I’m a curb tosser and usually because I feel the boy i’ve chosen just isn’t right anymore. But with him he’s always been my keeper. It’s just right and we don’t know why? It’s made us believe that there is that someone that is meant to be your life partner. Not necessarily that person that you fall for and makes you believe in love again…but that person that is your rock and fated to be your ‘other half,’ through life. That’s REAL love. Love that lasts a lifetime. You can fall in love the first time and I call that ‘puppy love,’ when you’re young and inexperienced and swirling around on a whim. Yet it’s never true love. It’s almost an infatuation. But when you’re older and you’ve taken an emotional beat down, you know all the tricks in the book and you’re much wiser to the game of love. Y’know what I mean…you know life, yourself and the other species a great deal better. Well if you can find your Prince then and still make it work then you KNOW they are ‘The One,’ and out of complete trueness and not a drifty, whimsical, ‘oooh’ of physical attraction. That’s what your first love is. Plus the idea of initially being ‘in love’ sort of masks actual TRUE LOVE. Your first love never counts as much as you want it to and as your life develops, it never means as much as you wished it did. Well that’s what i’ve learnt anyway. It took me a long time to get over Michael. Years and years and years…even though it was my idea to get divorced and leave. In that ‘years and years’ time, i sold myself short and racked up a ‘bedroom number’ of boys. (But at least they were Hollywood and hot. 🙂 ) I never loved any of them because I couldn’t. I was lost and hurt, under the disguise of ‘i’m so fun and wild.’ You can’t find your true love when you’re a bit broken because you never realize you’re broken until later on in life and well it takes ‘the one’ (who is your true love) to break that spell, wake you up and get you back on the straight and narrow. The person that takes your hand and guides you out of that mist. I did that with Keiran and I did it with a *wink.* He did that with me..but he did it with *romance.* I remember that he used to text me when we had first met and he said, ‘It’s been a long time since i’ve had feeling like this for a girl.’ Boys do actually usually say that to me..I don’t know why, but they do? You’ll hear all my exes say, ‘there’s just something about her…’ Yet, I believed him and I loved him for him, knowing nothing about him. AND I saw him for who he really wanted to be…which was a love bunny. We just started our relationship off on the best foot ever and your first foot forward matters, as it sets the pace and the tone for the rest of the walk home.
God i’m being all preachy and weird. It’s the coffee. I need more. Maybe without tequila in it this time. 😉
Anyway, i’ll cut the crap. Although things are great at home and it’s all free and harmonious, i’m obviously missing The Hubby a great deal and mainly on a night time when there’s just me. I had a little cry last night (sad I know, I need to pull myself together) but i guess yesterday I had too much pride to tell him. That’s odd for me because i’m highly expressive, especially about my feelings. Maybe i’m a lot more closed off that I thought. That’s life’s fault for bitch slapping me a few jolly times.
All i can say is that i’m learning, i’m loving, i’m dreaming and just know in the end it will of all been worth i and then some.