What a beautiful morning! The kiddiwinkles are over the moon today and it’s making life a whole much easier. Ruby’s playing in her pretend restaurant. Junior’s, taking a nap. And well yesterday morning Ruby asked for coconuts for breakfast, with a side of ‘party-party friends.’ Lord help me. She already acts like a socialite and she’s only two. It’s something that i championed as a 20 something and all across the world. (Well..the cities that mattered anyhow.) However, when it comes to your own loin fruit and even more so when that itty bitty piece of life fruity tooty is a girl…you kinda don’t want her to make the same mistakes as you. I’m watching Miss.Doobie (Code for ‘Ruby) very closely. I’ll give her ‘party-friends’ for breakfast. WHEN SHE’S 42!! I have no idea where she got the idea of coconuts from, but she wants me to jab a straw in one and hand it to her for breakfast, with an umbrella in it. Two year olds shouldn’t be wanting beachy cocktails. Maybe it’s the Caribbean in her? Good! I can blame Pete. 🙂
Life is wonderful right now and to be honest the past couple fo days have been. I’ve shopped, talked and pondered and found support (and not just in bra form) from friends and well soldiers I didn’t know I had. That’s what I adore about my friends or even acquaintances. They pop up when I need them, out of the blue with a text, after reading a dodgy bit of blog. My good friend and ex-work colleague (God we used to work for a horrific boss) Ruth, text me with concern, after a dip into Wunna land. She offered me a ‘Healthy cheer up party,’ with a very sexy ‘I have four avocados and some oat cakes, if you need cheering up.’ She addressed it to her little ‘Asian Hooker’ and hoped I was alright in my ‘glitter balled fur coat.’ 🙂 I mean you can’t get more perfect that. 🙂 I’m a fool, but they adore me for it.
Anyway, as all girl tales go…the ‘healthy cheer up‘ option turned into, ‘Lets get wine next week, when Keiran’s back so he can be punished with baby sitting duty.’ It’s a girls ‘and they lived happily ever after’ tale innit, when we punish the boy and get pissed up on vino. So with a jolly, ‘It’s a date! I’m wearing Channel number five,’ and a pretty reply from my dear tragic, but rather glamourous self, ‘..i’m jealous..and i’m wearing a dodgy support bra,’ the deal was sealed. It’s actually Ruth’s birthday today. So ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ to her cheery, oat caked soul. The funniest thing is that she ended her part of our conversation with this:
‘I’ve got the Natalie Cassidy keep fit DVD- going to torture myself with it in half an hour.’
I don’t know why I find that so hilarious. It’s the fact that I can’t for the life of me find the balls to attempt a work out DVD. I feel like a twat squatting in my living room. It makes me feel as though people are watching me, even if they aren’t. Plus, I’d always choose a Playboy Bunny type workout, which is a simple ‘no real work out,’ approach to fitness. It’s all about the outfit, the boobs, the hair and looking good. I mean, you can never get their body unless you actually have plastic surgery. That’s why I find it funny. It’s an unreachable goal and unreachable goals are always a hilarious waste of time…when attempted in pink leg warmers. I mean, you could probably even end it with a Malibu pineapples and an STI if you fancy. 🙂 The Natalie Cassidy DVD sounds far too East End Drama for me. I know Nat’s beyond all that now and is trying to talk posh. But I just can’t stop imagining her as ‘Sonia’..with all her cockney chip shop, cobbled London street drama. I can’t work out with that image in my head. I need glamour. Ruth however, obviously loves a bit of Cassidy. We both must be on a loose weight mission.
Yesterday was my little brother’s birthday. I adore my little brother and i have great heart for him. he’ shad a much harder life than I have and well we are completely different from one another. However, I can’t help but want to adore and protect him, even if it’s from a far. My mum and I shopped for him all yesterday, then ‘The Wunna’s,’ my cousin and all the children (she’s just had a baby also, ‘Baby Holly,’ my niece) well we all went out and celebrated my brother’s birthday with food, family and good times. It was a great night and well he was happy. All the kids we’re really well behaved also. It was crazy! Then everyone came back to mine for cake. Very British and something i’m not usually used to offering at 11pm. Cake? Please.
However, before all that and even before I went shopping with my mum, I had a giant argument with Keiran. A bad one. The argument actually continued from the evening before and well it got nasty. I was evil. I called him all sorts. Told him he was a ‘shit husband,’ and that he was ‘selfish’ and that I hated him for everything he put me through last summer.’ (Lol..It sounds like a cheesy teen horror movie.) It got a bit too home truthy…swirled in a ‘that’s it we’re DONE.’
Now, Keiran’s all grown up now, whereas before he would’ve joined in the childish spiral of nonsense, with a feisty evil tongue and a fist full of verbal low blows in order to win and show who’s boss. This time and nowadays, he doesn’t. He tried to make the peace and tries to say nice things to me. However, I must’ve really pissed him off because he got a bit ratty with me and started to fight. (Via text.) He stopped himself though (after a few sharp digs of evil that i bounded right back at him) and then told me to get my act together. He only attacks when i’ve hurt him. He naturally goes into ‘defence’ and tries to verbally slam dunk me. It doesn’t work because once i’m being evil, I’m evil.
When I apologized the next day he was feeling all hurt and wanted to teach me a lesson. But I was genuinely sorry because it was one of those moments where I had felt so suffocated and like I lost my freedom or independence, so I had a go at him. The truth is..after I had said it all, I missed him. I only fought with him because I was bored and I felt trapped. It was a release. Never good. Especially because I was truthful enough to simply say I only did it because I was bored.
He pretty much told me how wrong it was to toy with someone’s emotions like that, simply out of boredom and yeah.. it is. I’d hate it if it happened to me and it has in the past. But i’m not in Hollywood anymore and hobbying boys or winding them up isn’t coolio when they love me. Yet when I was winding him up, i had convinced myself that he didn’t love me. Weird innit?
‘Chrissie, if I had done that to you, you would’ve gone ballistic and it would’ve been on Twitter, on your blog, on Facebook and everyone would think all sorts of me.’
So yeah, even though he did get moody, he was much more together than I was. When I said sorry again, he forgave me and in a baby voice welcomed back into his heart. 🙂 Now we’ve fine again once more. I’m feeling much better today and well this morning has been divine. The kiddies have been hilarious and i’ve felt really lucky to have them.
I wonder why I’m nutty? Am I insecure in relationships, because i’ve dated so many dodgy men,just as much as I have great men? Am I just spoilt or need constant entertainment? Am i just naughty? Or do I just hate to feel like i’m being controlled or that my freedom is being taken away from me? I reckon all of the above and i love it. I’m outspoken, feisty but a bunny of love. I love me..stocking and all. He used to be nutty but has pulled himself together and i think the new improved version is here to stay because when men usually decide to be impressive, it only lasts a week and then they go back to normal. Keiran on the other hand has kept this up for months now, so he must mean business.#Crikey
I think I used to be a lot more sane, yet getting nuttier as I go along. It was the year 2012, it sent me doo-lally. Hurrah! I guess, so much has happened to me that my emotions are joyfully playing ‘catch up.’ At least i’m happy now though and life is once again cosy. I want a sunny sunny holiday and a ‘date.’ Keiran hasn’t taken me out on a dinner date in ages!
Anyway, i’ve got to go because Ruby is distraught that i’m not paying her all the attention in the entire world. We’re about to go shopping with Grandma again and she’s a little too eager. She’s in fact destroying things out of impatience and I don’t mean angry Incredible Hulk destroying things. She’s far more sly than that. It’s more gentle, girly, utter destruction. I taught her well. 🙂
So yeah. I’ll be seeing ya! On a good note, It’s Summer and although the weather is shit, at least people are making like it’s hot. Yesterday I saw lots of boys in shorts, tanned muscles and spikey hair do’s. Boys are hotter in good weather. That’s why the boys in the Mediterranean look delicious and the boys from Wakefield look….:) *I’ll let you fill in your own blank.*