Growing up, Boys and Babies

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What a beautiful morning! The kiddiwinkles are over the moon today and it’s making life a whole much easier. Ruby’s playing in her pretend restaurant. Junior’s, taking a nap. And well yesterday morning Ruby asked for coconuts for breakfast, with a side of ‘party-party friends.’ Lord help me. She already acts like a socialite and she’s only two. It’s something that i championed as a 20 something and all across the world. (Well..the cities that mattered anyhow.) However, when it comes to your own loin fruit and even more so when that itty bitty piece of life fruity tooty is a girl…you kinda don’t want her to make the same mistakes as you. I’m watching Miss.Doobie (Code for ‘Ruby) very closely. I’ll give her ‘party-friends’ for breakfast. WHEN SHE’S 42!! I have no idea where she got the idea of coconuts from, but she wants me to jab a straw in one and hand it to her for breakfast, with an umbrella in it. Two year olds shouldn’t be wanting beachy cocktails. Maybe it’s the Caribbean in her? Good! I can blame Pete. ๐Ÿ™‚

Life is wonderful right now and to be honest the past couple fo days have been. I’ve shopped, talked and pondered and found support (and not just in bra form) from friends and well soldiers I didn’t know I had. That’s what I adore about my friends or even acquaintances. They pop up when I need them, out of the blue with a text, after reading a dodgy bit of blog. My good friend and ex-work colleague (God we used to work for a horrific boss) Ruth, text me with concern, after a dip into Wunna land. She offered me a ‘Healthy cheer up party,’ with a very sexy ‘I have four avocados and some oat cakes, if you need cheering up.’ She addressed it to her little ‘Asian Hooker’ and hoped I was alright in my ‘glitter balled fur coat.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ I mean you can’t get more perfect that. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m a fool, but they adore me for it.

Anyway, as all girl tales go…the ‘healthy cheer up‘ option turned into, ‘Lets get wine next week, when Keiran’s back so he can be punished with baby sitting duty.’ It’s a girls ‘and they lived happily ever after’ tale innit, when we punish the boy and get pissed up on vino. So with a jolly, ‘It’s a date! I’m wearing Channel number five,’ and a pretty reply from my dear tragic, but rather glamourous self, ‘..i’m jealous..and i’m wearing a dodgy support bra,’ the deal was sealed. It’s actually Ruth’s birthday today. So ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ to her cheery, oat caked soul. The funniest thing is that she ended her part of our conversation with this:

‘I’ve got the Natalie Cassidy keep fit DVD- going to torture myself with it in half an hour.’

I don’t know why I find that so hilarious. It’s the fact that I can’t for the life of me find the balls to attempt a work out DVD. I feel like a twat squatting in my living room. It makes me feel as though people are watching me, even if they aren’t. Plus, I’d always choose a Playboy Bunny type workout, which is a simple ‘no real work out,’ approach to fitness. It’s all about the outfit, the boobs, the hair and looking good. I mean, you can never get their body unless you actually have plastic surgery. That’s why I find it funny. It’s an unreachable goal and unreachable goals are always a hilarious waste of time…when attempted in pink leg warmers. I mean, you could probably even end it with a Malibu pineapples and an STI if you fancy. ๐Ÿ™‚ The Natalie Cassidy DVD sounds far too East End Drama for me. I know Nat’s beyond all that now and is trying to talk posh. But I just can’t stop imagining her as ‘Sonia’..with all her cockney chip shop, cobbled London street drama. I can’t work out with that image in my head. I need glamour. Ruth however, obviously loves a bit of Cassidy. We both must be on a loose weight mission.

Yesterday was my little brother’s birthday. I adore my little brother and i have great heart for him. he’ shad a much harder life than I have and well we are completely different from one another. However, I can’t help but want to adore and protect him, even if it’s from a far. My mum and I shopped for him all yesterday, then ‘The Wunna’s,’ my cousin and all the children (she’s just had a baby also, ‘Baby Holly,’ my niece) well we all went out and celebrated my brother’s birthday with food, family and good times. It was a great night and well he was happy. All the kids we’re really well behaved also. It was crazy! Then everyone came back to mine for cake. Very British and something i’m not usually used to offering at 11pm. Cake? Please.

However, before all that and even before I went shopping with my mum, I had a giant argument with Keiran. A bad one. The argument actually continued from the evening before and well it got nasty. I was evil. I called him all sorts. Told him he was a ‘shit husband,’ and that he was ‘selfish’ and that I hated him for everything he put me through last summer.’ (Lol..It sounds like a cheesy teen horror movie.) It got a bit too home truthy…swirled in a ‘that’s it we’re DONE.’

Now, Keiran’s all grown up now, whereas before he would’ve joined in the childish spiral of nonsense, with a feisty evil tongue and a fist full of verbal low blows in order to win and show who’s boss. This time and nowadays, he doesn’t. He tried to make the peace and tries to say nice things to me. However, I must’ve really pissed him off because he got a bit ratty with me and started to fight. (Via text.) He stopped himself though (after a few sharp digs of evil that i bounded right back at him) and then told me to get my act together. He only attacks when i’ve hurt him. He naturally goes into ‘defence’ and tries to verbally slam dunk me. It doesn’t work because once i’m being evil, I’m evil.

When I apologized the next day he was feeling all hurt and wanted to teach me a lesson. But I was genuinely sorry because it was one of those moments where I had felt so suffocated and like I lost my freedom or independence, so I had a go at him. The truth is..after I had said it all, I missed him. I only fought with him because I was bored and I felt trapped. It was a release. Never good. Especially because I was truthful enough to simply say I only did it because I was bored.

He pretty much told me how wrong it was to toy with someone’s emotions like that, simply out of boredom and yeah.. it is. I’d hate it if it happened to me and it has in the past. But i’m not in Hollywood anymore and hobbying boys or winding them up isn’t coolio when they love me. Yet when I was winding him up, i had convinced myself that he didn’t love me. Weird innit?

‘Chrissie, if I had done that to you, you would’ve gone ballistic and it would’ve been on Twitter, on your blog, on Facebook and everyone would think all sorts of me.’

So yeah, even though he did get moody, he was much more together than I was. When I said sorry again, he forgave me and in a baby voice welcomed back into his heart. ๐Ÿ™‚ Now we’ve fine again once more. I’m feeling much better today and well this morning has been divine. The kiddies have been hilarious and i’ve felt really lucky to have them.

I wonder why I’m nutty? Am I insecure in relationships, because i’ve dated so many dodgy men,just as much as I have great men? Am I just spoilt or need constant entertainment? Am i just naughty? Or do I just hate to feel like i’m being controlled or that my freedom is being taken away from me? I reckon all of the above and i love it. I’m outspoken, feisty but a bunny of love. I love me..stocking and all. He used to be nutty but has pulled himself together and i think the new improved version is here to stay because when men usually decide to be impressive, it only lasts a week and then they go back to normal. Keiran on the other hand has kept this up for months now, so he must mean business.#Crikey

I think I used to be a lot more sane, yet getting nuttier as I go along. It was the year 2012, it sent me doo-lally. Hurrah! I guess, so much has happened to me that my emotions are joyfully playing ‘catch up.’ At least i’m happy now though and life is once again cosy. I want a sunny sunny holiday and a ‘date.’ Keiran hasn’t taken me out on a dinner date in ages!

Anyway, i’ve got to go because Ruby is distraught that i’m not paying her all the attention in the entire world. We’re about to go shopping with Grandma again and she’s a little too eager. She’s in fact destroying things out of impatience and I don’t mean angry Incredible Hulk destroying things. She’s far more sly than that. It’s more gentle, girly, utter destruction. I taught her well. ๐Ÿ™‚

So yeah. I’ll be seeing ya! On a good note, It’s Summer and although the weather is shit, at least people are making like it’s hot. Yesterday I saw lots of boys in shorts, tanned muscles and spikey hair do’s. Boys are hotter in good weather. That’s why the boys in the Mediterranean look delicious and the boys from Wakefield look….:) *I’ll let you fill in your own blank.*

 

 

 

Simply Unimpressed

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Morning all! I had no idea what day we were on, yet now that i know it’s Friday things are a little brighter. *Sips coffee-Had no sleep.*

Last night was stressy, with occasional moments of ‘wonderful.’ I’d be in the living room juggling life and the children, then I’d get a visit from a friend (who are all ‘hero’s’ right now, as those moments make a difference, whilst i’m on my own) and then life would be okay for a while.

Kelly came over yesterday evening for ‘baby cuddles’ and well Kels is just a really great mum. She’s one of those women that you label ‘a natural’ at it. I’m obviously not what they call ‘a natural.’ I’m a glittery mess of a mum, who is whole of heart, yet decorated with Mummy ‘L’ plates and instructions. Before she arrived Junior was SCREAMING his mighty head off and well i was running around like a headless chicken after doing a great lunch with my family, followed by receiving a visit from an O.A.P who wanted to buy some golf trolley thingy thing, that Keiran had put on ebay. Lord knows. But it’s weird having O.A.P’s knocking on ya door giving you cash. It seems wrong, like you’re snatching their life savings off them for your husband. But whatever, I didn’t do the snatch, Craig did. I had quite a good chitter chatter with Craig about chicks and dating. He’s quite the love bunny, who maybe pretends that he’s not the hardcore love bunny that he really is. (‘Oh i don’t care about my ex-anymore.’ Yet he’s taking her to dinner and then going to the cinema and is still sleeping with her. Lol. That’s a DATE, dipped in benefits. But i like Craig because we all love a guy who’s a love bunny and he’s a good guy, just another guy looking for love. But a guy who picks life partners on the way they look. Men!) Anyway he was on his way to the date after having to listen to me ask him every question under the sun about his love life. I’m good like that. Nice and nosey. I just enjoy tinkering in the minds of boys, when it comes to matters of the heart. It’s an interest simply because it makes them feel mildy uncomfortable. I don’t do that with girls because I am a girl, so i know how all girls think. He snatched the money and left it in a pretty leafy pile on the kitchen counter.)

But yes, back to Kelly. A natural mum. As soon as she sauntered in Junior was hypnotized by her. He glared at her with delight, all calm and wistful. I think he just loves to be loved by a pretty girl. Kels is all tanned, brunette and Egyptian. Nothing felt better to Junior than to be pressed against her, as she glowed and calmed his every bit of panic. (I’m taking note of all my friends who are good with babies, They think they’re coming around to celebrate the birth of my son with a gift or a card, when i’m really auditioning them for the role of ‘baby sitter.’) The good thing about Kelly is that she just knows everything and she is just one of those super dooper peoples. The first thing she did when she walked in was gift Ruby with a giant, toyish, ย pinic hamper, so she had a pressie to open and so she wouldn’t think life was all about Junior. How clever was that! See! She knows how to do everything the right way. I think she’s just lived and when you’ve lived and experienced…you know a great deal more than anyone else,when it comes to feelings and reading people, alongside situations. Great to see her again. She made life wonderful.

Then I was lucky enough to have one guest exit and my MUM come back to help me during my hour of need. It seems if you Tweet that you need help, people volunteer to help you and turn up at your doorstep. My mum and dad are truly helpful and they’ve been the perfect parents throughout my life really. It made a bumpy night smooth over with a buttery delight. Junior is still having pooey problems. Ruby on the other hand has been wonderful and slept all by herself like a ‘big girl’ and well even though it’s hard to watch her have to grow up so quickly, with her being my number 1 baby, ( I mean her manner is completely different now, she’s all grown and strong) it’s good for her. Being the eldest child in a family is always the best. I know because I am one. She’s an independent soul and if that’s loved and nurtured appropriately, she’ll go far. My baby girl is growing up far too fast. I need to decorate her in bows and rock her like a baby, in giant flowered headbands again. (Oh my gosh, hearing about the lady ‘Rebecca Shuttleworth’ who killed her own 2 year old son Keanu. She’s been jailed for life and convicted of 4 counts of child cruelty. She’s been labelled a ‘monster’ and they’re debating on ‘This Morning’ whether she is a ‘monster’ or if she just needed help, didn’t have it and went insane. I’m going with ‘insanity’ as no mother would EVER ย intentionally of SOUND MIND, kill or injure their own child. It’s crazy what goes on, innit! But her boyfriend also got sentenced for biting the arm of the toddler. He was the acting step dad. What is wrong with people? That poor little boy was so severely beaten that he died a lingering death a day later from his injuries. He was bleeding internally and everything. Mother’s are surely meant to protect their children and children can get frustrating, but OMG NOT ENOUGH TO KILL THEM. I get that she had problems and a hard life. Her mother died, her grandmother died…it left her mentally ill…yet that doesn’t justify killing her own son and abusing him. However, I do also think that the health visitors and authorities etc…should’ve been able to spot a problem and help her before it got to such a terrible stage.)

Today, I have DADDY DAY. No, that doesn’t mean I have a strong of young, able, fit Daddies embracing ‘Wunna land’ in their pants this morning. I’m not that lucky. ๐Ÿ™‚ Well..I am, but I just can’t be bothered to be. Today my OWN Daddy has come over for the day to hang out. Now, I adore my Dad, he’s a wonderful man, the perfect Daddy and well nothing is better than having him sat on my sofa giggling away at life with me. I feel like a child again, all happy and bubbly. It’s great. We’ve discussed the sexiness of Johnny Depp, followed by the delightful words of Oscar Wilde. I always feel good when I have my daddy around. It’s comforting. He’s like a chipper Asian Santa Claus, with an infectious giggle and a walking stick. I’m loving it. He’s certainly brightening up my day. (Now he’s demanding spaghetti bolognese. ๐Ÿ™‚ Cute! )

….2 hours later

Okay, so I’ve had to blog in two parts simply because Mummy-hood got the better of me, as did a quick trip to the grocery store, an updo, the arrival of new my diet shakes, a glass of wine, cooking a giant spag bol, giggling and then evil texting Keiran because he needed to hear a piece of my mind.

Well, now i feel like i’ve told you what’s happened that there’s no need to blog it. My Dad has actually managed to pass out after i cooked him a giant spag bol, that I gifted to him under the title of ‘lunch’ with a red wine. I love my Dad because when I asked him what else he needed from the Co-OP, he said, ‘The Daily Mail and a pack of Haribo please,’ whilst giving me money, that I obviously refused.ย Awww! How cute.

Junior’s now resting. he can’t resist massages. I’ve been giving them to him to ease him tummy ache. Every time he receives a rub down, ‘level comfort’ gets the better of him and he falls fast asleep. He ever snores. Its adorable. For the first time in ages, instead of using my free ‘baby is asleep’ moment with washing the dishes or organizing the home…i decided to have a wine. Best decision i’ve made today. A decision just for ME and not for someone else.

So today and because I was fed up, I also decided to evil text Keiran. I never call or text him when he’s away. When we talk it’s always because he’s contacted me. The way I see it, if they’re gone, they’re gone. They can re-enter Wunna land when they return. (The home phones ringing.)

Anyway, today I wanted to unload and express how I’d been feeling. I onyl told him what I’d been blogging about…so I said that I had felt that he was always doing what HE WANTED to do, without sacrifice and that ย I was never able to do whatever I WANTED to do because I had sort of become a slave to my little family. But i was far more eviler than that and it lasted ages. (There’s me saying I hate text arguing yesterday. ๐Ÿ™‚ And here I am doing it today.)

I home truthed him about how I had felt and how awful he was to me this time last Summer and how I hadn’t really forgiven ย him for that and still resented him and how I felt that he had taken a weeks break off parenting, whilst leaving me to deal with it all on my own ,as he takes a break! He doesn’t need a break and because I spent 9 months carrying a child. I NEED A BREAK.

Then I told him how selfish he was and brought up the past and how I had felt about the past.

He text me back each time, yet the final time just telling me that I had to adapt to the changes taking place because I had chosen them because he has adapted to the changes he’s made. ERM..he has ONLY JUST adapted. He moaned for ages and well men aren’t allowed to moan. Moaning is only for women. Men should get on with things like men do. Only chicks can throw a ‘diva’ and it be remotely acceptable.

So, it hasn’t ended well (the discussion that is) because i’ve just ignored him. But i’m annoyed because he said it again, ‘it won’t be long until Junior’s in nursery babe and you can have your ย life back again and go to work.’ How about the idea of him staying at home and sacrificing his every waking minute while I GO to work. I mean, noooo…he’d never do that. But i’m glad i got some of my mind off my chest and I do only mean some, as I could’ve gone to town on him. I rebrought up the whole situation we had with his friends last year and how he treated me during pregnancy. He’s lucky i’m still with him. I’m at home on my own looking after the baby children, as he chills away for a week. When he gets back he’s doing EVERYTHING because i’m going to make him. Yeah he’s ‘at work’ but his money is his money. It doesn’t go towards me…I have my own money, meaning again, he’s doing another thing just for him.

Then he annoyed me by stating ‘we are…’ and ‘we must’ in his texts to me. I replied stating that right now it’s not ‘WE,’ it’s all ‘Me’ because he’s not here and i’m doing all the parenting on my own. I feel unimpressed by him now and it’s because he’s left me to think. the worst thing any boy can do, is leave me to think. It never serves them well. I think with it being Summer and with him going away again, it has reminded me of last Summer (which was hideous, as he was hideous to me) when he kept working away also. It triggers off very bad memories and memories that he has never ever apologized for because he’s embarrassed by his poor judgement and bad actions and it almost reminds HIM of them. Maybe i’m just arguing with him out of boredom, That sounds more like it, because if he was here helping me, i wouldn’t be groggy or bored.

I need wine,

Love you.

Chrissie

ps/ Can’t wait for my mum and Ruby to get here. It’s a bit of a family shindig. I need a bigger house.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s going to be sucky..

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So there I was at 11.16pm getting severely McBollocked by my own delicious Mother, who wanted to inform me that I had ruined her day by making poor parenting decisions? (Lovely.) Now, my Mum and I are extremely close, so we tend to bollock each other whenever we get the hump. I’m less aggressive these days and well…she’s not. ๐Ÿ™‚ I mean, something could be troubling her at home, or with work, or with Dad and because I’m the feisty, strong child…her stallion, her ‘Diva’ first born (which is the thing she actually adore about me)…she comes and takes it out on me. However this time..via text!

Now nothing is worse to me than getting bollocked via text because it seems far more moany and long. There’s never a bullet pointed version, which is how i text, if I am texting an argument. The other party will be all ‘well you never..’ and ‘you hurt my…blah..blah..’ seven scrolls long. I’ll just type ‘Fuck off.’ I prefer short face to face blasts of shouty. It’s over quicker and I usually win. I tend to ignore people who text me with drama, anger or not very funny nonsense and pretty much because you can. Then they always call me ignorant for not replying or even childish. But i’m used to hearing both so it makes me giggle, because i’m disturbed like that. ๐Ÿ™‚ When I do reply..they don’t even like it anyway. It’s like they’re a sucker for punishment.

Last night was mayhem. Remember that i’m on my own and I’m looking after a newborn and a 2 year old right now because Keiran’s gone away for a week to work and well my mum has also been busy working away at her schedule. I completely understand that. HOWEVER, I completely understand that if I need help, i’m going to find, get it or take it when it’s been offered. I’m not stupid. I’ll take the elevator through life and not the stairs, thank you very much. Shout at me all you want. I’ll be waving from my swift, lifty flight upward. *Zoom.*

So, Pete kindly picked Ruby up from nursery yesterday and she went over to his to play for the evening because he missed her. The clock ticks over to 9.50pm, which is way past her bed time, so in a wonder I text him to see if everything’s okay?

Ruby’s apparently still up and playing yet is having a whale of a time, so he asked if she should stay over the evening, with me being on my own with Junior, to make things a bit easier…and HE would then do the nursery run in the morning.

I agreed to it all and that’s what pretty much happened because I WAS stressed about having them both run circles around me (it’s terrifying) and I figured having the one was going to be hard enough..and believe me it was. Junior’s super constipated right now, which is a joy to ‘mummy’ through the night! #not ๐Ÿ™‚ If you have a newborn AND a two year old you feel my pain. It’s not the art of juggling them both that is the problem. It’s more the art of worrying and making sure they BOTH feel loved and tended to appropriately that gets to you. (Junior’s started to look like a little mix of Keiran and I now, instead of just an Asian gremlin.)

Okay, *fast forward*because my glitzy arse has agreed to such an arrangement wit Peter, my mum goes ballistic at me stating that she would’ve dropped everything and come to rescue me in a heartbeat and that she didn’t want her staying over with Pete, when we didn’t need the help. I DID NEED THE HELP and no-one was a around, so I was really grateful for him. My mum on the other hand always thinks he has a hidden agenda. He didn’t. He just wanted to help. Ruby’s his daughter and he respects me enough to help me, because I am her mother. Let’s put two and two together to make four and not ‘an issue.’

Long story short, I’m getting bollocked via text (Lol)…those long messages that look like essays. I didn’t have my contact lenses in, (you can’t fight with the blind..) I had a screaming baby in my arms and it was pitch black, aside from the light given off by the screen of my phone. I mean, what is my life!!! So, i pretty much abandon ship and decide to ignore the bollocking, fold it away for the ‘forgotten’ pile and just get on with tucking Baby Junior in and sending him off to ‘bed time.’ (Whilst he grunts at me and tries to angrily chew his fist off. I’m telling you, he’s like an angry bouncer, in baby form…that needs to poo.)

Now, I’m really grateful for everything that my Mum does for Ruby because it is literally EVERYTHING and not only do I love her so much for it, but I understand how protective she is of Rubes and how much she loves her. I get that and I feel that. I mean I cried the first time Ruby stayed over at Pete’s. So I let her accuse me of all sorts and I then let it slide with a shimmie. She’ll be filled with ‘sorries’ today and hopefully buy me lunch. I just don’t like some of the things she said, as she felt that I put Pete’s needs before HER needs, when she is the one that does EVERYTHING for Ruby. That’s not the case…My mum is wonderful at being there for me and Keiran is GREAT at being there for me when I don’t need his help. (In fact he’s much better, well getting better at being there for me when I do. It’s a new thing for him and he’s excelling at it. They’re both Hero’s in their own way. Yet Pete is good at never being there for me when I don’t need help…which is smart reallyย because we’re not together and he has no reason to be. However, if and when I do need help..and even if it doesn’t concern Ruby, because he’s a good guy he will be there in a tickety boo. They’re all great people and i’m really lucky. As is Ruby, because they all barter for her love and attention. All i’m saying is, last night I needed help. Mum was in London. Keiran was away. Pete offered to help. I accepted his help in order to make sure Baby Ruby had her ‘full attention’ fix and so that I could settle Baby Junior.) Done. No more on that! Jesus! My mum sometimes forgets that we’re not the cast of Jeremy Kyle and that she doesn’t need to worry about me. I’m all grown up now and the new sensible version. She worries about me a lot because well lets face it, i’ve been a pain. I actually got bollocked for being ‘too kind hearted.’ Only I could get bollocked for something as comedy as that. That’s my mum though. She tells me off for not being a ‘diva.’ ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyway, how’s this weather treating you? (A nice British link away…) ย I can’t tell if it’s sunny or cold? It’s all sticky- humid and making me just need a holiday. I was going to book one yesterday but i’m having to weigh out all the options as I don’t know where half of these places are? Not because i’m shit at geography..and I am shit at geography, swirled in zero sense of direction. I’ve never needed to know where places are exactly. I’m more the kinda gal who wakes up somewhere with my face printed on the pillow who hopes for the best. But on a serious note, when I’ve been away, it’s always been really far away. So i’ve never booked a last minute ‘lets’ get some sun quick’ type of holi-holiday and I’m actually in fear of where i’ll end up!! I want all inclusive, no apartment, only a 4 or 5* hotel and it has to have close by SUN…for 4 days, that isn’t chav central or a party island. But a quick inexpensive break that makes a change from a local spa trip in order to relax.

I thought maybe Keiran and I could get away for our wedding anniversary or something. That’d bring a tan line and a smile to my miserable face. Plus it has to be somewhere where neither of us has been before, simply so no OLD MEMORIES of past times are relived during the break. I hate that, when a boy is spending time with you and reminiscing old times that they had with some other girl. It happens to all girls and in fact all boys all the time. It’s a ‘thing’ with me simply because when I once stalked a boy I was dating’s Facebook inbox, that he had accidentally left open ย in the living room in LA, he had inboxed a girl…a pretty blond one, saying ‘I was at the pool with my girlfriend all day today and all I could think about was you.’ I was ‘the girlfriend.’ย Hmm..how romantic. Nothing like true love and this was a guy who was telling me how madly in love he was with me and how he wanted to MARRY ME. He even fricking proposed to me a week after the incident.

I didn’t actually tell him that I knew. I never do. I just carry on as normal and take it out on them without them knowing why I’m being so evil to them. ๐Ÿ™‚ Then I left him, when I couldn’t punish him anymore. But I usually always know before they think I know and I wait for them to ‘fess up.’ None of them do though…so i end up strutting my heels onto my next chapter. I actually got an inbox from an LA boy the other day that I used to date. He apparently thinks that out of all the girls and relationships he’s fucked up…he always to this day wishes he could go back and try harder at ours and see what would happen. He asked me if I had gotten divorced yet. Lovely. This is my life. It’s full of gents waiting in the wings, betting on a divorce. He was the marine that made me homeless. I had only up until that point, dated boys who were actors or models, or in entertainment, whilst in Hollywood. He was the first guy that I would call ‘normal,’ and it was odd because a guy who was in the armed forces or who served for their country…a soldier…a sailor… never ever appealed to me. ย I never ever pictured myself being with a guy of that profession. He actually taught me never to date any boy that was in the marines or a soldier. I obviously didn’t learn my lesson. I married one 5 years later.

I ignored his message… Once you enter banter with an ex, they get all excited and think that there’s something more going to happen, even if it’s just cyber flirtation. I count that as cheating, as you know. I mean, even if the boy or your ex is simply messaging you nice ‘unpervy’ things…they’re still trying to make you want them. Boys are sick like that. I used to be sick like that, but because I had been raised around boys, the Hollywood kind of boys and throughout my entire 20 somethings. That’s why I think i went through a slutty phase because that’s what men do. I’m far less masculine in my ways now. I’m a proper girl. (I mean, I was always ‘glammy -doo-daa’ but my personality was very boyish, very aggressive. To get what you want and I hope that’s a ‘Prince Charming’, a ‘look after you romantically, emotionally, physically, financially, mentally’ hero, you have to be made of a ‘girl,’ and at least possess a gentle femininity and let the guy take the reins and ‘woo’ you. If you don’t the balance of the relationship becomes wibbly and you’ll never have you’re hero. Don’t think men aren’t made for chasing, hunting and romantically ‘wooing’ you…THEY ARE and they love it. They do. They just pretend they don’t. I mean nothing makes them feel more like a man than being able to please the girl that they desire. Honest! When they can’t they feel inferior and insecure and think you’re going to run off with someone else. Then they start playing up and being pains. Nothing is worse than an insecure man because in the end they take it out on YOU and well that never goes well with your outfit, but really goes well with a gin. See! There’s an upside to everything! BOOYAH! (I wonder if my mum will actually take me to lunch today or if she’ll still be angry at me for being rubbish? Junior’s decided to take his night time nap, like NOW. Brill! ๐Ÿ™ ย He wasn’t hard work last night, but it wasn’t easy. I much prefer ‘easy’ things. Now I understand drunk boys at bars who just want to pull and get laid as quickly as possible. When something’s ‘easy’ it’s better. ๐Ÿ™‚ It might not last, but in that moment, it was not tasking and zero stress. I guess the stress comes later when they start stalking you. Dont pick an easy option, unless you’re a really fast runner. As far as my life has played out, trouble will always catch up to ya anyway.ย Yet i’m shit at running in heels. I’m a strutter. I never got picked to be on the teams during PE LESSONS and it never bothered me. I had far more important things on my mind like taking over the world, my face and whoever i was dating at the time.)

Talking about ‘easy,’ when it comes to women, wives are stressy but worth it in the end…so they say. We’ll see. ๐Ÿ™‚ One night stands that you never see again usually aren’t much bother. But girls that are your previous ‘friends with benefits’ as in someone you’re friends with but you’ve bonked, at the same time as local girls you’ve bonked, or girls you’ve had previous relations with are always troublesome. They don’t seem troublesome at the time…as it was an ย ‘easy’ situation. Yet they always *pop* up later, when you’ve ironed your act out, pulled yourself together and when you’re with a girl that you now love, who you do not want to ever lose. They *pop* up and ruin everything for you and make the girl you love, refrain from adoring you as much. But it really does depend upon your karma and how your relationship is with your past experience. I’m smart and Keiran’s lucky because the majority of my exes are all hidden in another country. ๐Ÿ™‚ He never has to face them, see them or feel insecure about them. He only has to watch them on telly or at the cinema. I’ve only had a few boyfriends here in Blighty…I don’t really talk to any of them aside from Peter and that’s obviously because we share a child. A beautiful child.

Keiran’s actually just called to see if i’m alright. I’m not alright and I’m having a bad hair day. But I simply picked up the phone and did my usual, ‘yeah, yeah everything’s fine’ line. I can’t be arsed saying anything else and simply because he’s not here, there’s nothing he can do about it. It sort of made his phone call pointless. ย I need treats off him. All my other chick friends are getting treats left right and centre and they’re not having to run around, birth children and ย look after them all the time, as their gent is away. I am…and I don’t have treats. Ugh! ย  I thought today was going to be okay, but something tells me it’s going to be sucky. I need wine..and a human to curl my fricking hair. I can’t moan with a straight do and make it look glamourous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All running smoothly…

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It’s Wednesday! It’s *hump* day! Hope life is dandy!

I’m feeling much better today and simply because when I’m left to my own devices i’m actually a great deal more efficient that anyone would imagine. The kids have been great. Ruby was the most obedient little treat of love, with a wiggle in her ‘going to nursery with a smile’ step. Junior slept through the night and jollied me with giant poos, alongside giggles. (I caught him giggling at his own mirror image in his jungle gym yesterday. I’ve bred another vain child. There’s really no hope is there. However I do adore that his first ever word…was a *giggle* and at the sight of his own image.)

But yeah, being left to myself works for me…i get things done with a smooth smear of glitter and ease. I’m like some kind of marvellous ย Fairy God Mother, but with swag. (I haven’t done my face yet, so my blog is confused as to who I am hence all the oddities.) I think when I have people watching over me I fumble and because i’m a spolit brat. If Keiran’s here, i expect him to ‘Princess’ me and give in at the first rung of hard work because I know he’ll help me. Today has been great and because i’ve felt free and not watched over. When you’re not watched over and you handle things brilliantly with a whole heart, it means your a total good person. I’ve shocked myself. I think I need a morning cocktail to celebrate my goodness. I don’t like to be monitored. I don’t know why? It just creeps me out. I’ve decided it’s because i’m a Sagittarius and simple because i’m out of ideas and or people to blame. Life is good today and well it’s all about taking it a day at a time whilst you enjoy the scenery and smell the roses and all that hoo-haa. (Watching ‘Desperate Housewives,’ I’m Gaby…and i’m completely confused by anyone who isn’t Gaby.)

Anyway, since i’ve been ball and chained to mummy-hood and scrubbing sides down, i’ve had to live through my friends who are all doing lie the way i used to. My good friend Rachel, who I last saw at my wedding managed to STALK his Royal Highness Prince William onto a train and ‘give him ass’ as she calls it. All she did was scoot past him, with her butt side forward, which was quite honorable really to say the other option was her ‘crotch side.’ I love Rach and simply because whenever we’ve hung out we’ve always ended up stalking some celebrity and she’s always ended up getting thrown out, being naughty, having the police called on her or maybe getting SHOT AT. She’s all delicious, blond, intelligent and boobied, so it’s hilarious. She’s like a hoochie bond girl, with a posh accent and a wink. But yes, if anyone could manage to stalk Prince William it would be her and she did! Apparently if it was Harry, she would’ve given him the ‘crotch.’ Pahaha. That’s how I used to live! Like I swear I used to be fun. Drinking helped though. When I’m skinny i’ll prowl out and about again in some too tight dress and heels. Until then i’m in hibernation and concentrating on raising the family. I mean it’s be a bit rude of me to just give birth to a baby boy and when he’s only 20 something days old high five him with a ‘you’re on ya own kiddo.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ That’s not mean. I moan about making the sacrifice, but I love it really. I watched both Ruby and Junior sleep last night and I couldn’t have felt more wonderful. It was one of those moments where you secret smile to yourself as you close their bedroom doors and sigh with happiness.

I ended up cooking a giant spag bol for ‘The Wunna’s’ last night. My family do a lot for me so it’s always good to give back. We gossiped, loved and lived over pasta and no-one keeled over at the sight of my cooking. Ruby adored it. For some reason she’s a child who just loves family time. She loves the idea of everyone being together and happy. She loves to see Mummy and Daddy holding hands and being in love. It’s bizarre for a little one to notice and adore it so much. But it means a lot to her. She was so excited to be sat around a table eating with the entire family, minus Daddy. Great things are happening right now and i’m beginning to re-realize how lucky I am.

Other than needing to do my hair and face and trying to calm down my current online buying obsession, i’m trying to find a job. I still have time as Junior’s not in nursery yet. However, they did call yesterday stating that they are ready to have him whenever I am really…as the waiting list (which he had to be on for an entire year and before he was even born) was filling up. He seems so little to be learning his A,B,C’s. But if I look at Ruby and how smart she is now, i don’t think nursery is a bad thing at all!

I certainly need more coffee and I certainly need to rent a sunbed. I know i’ve been getting shit loads of spray tans of recent, but i’m more of a sunbed girl…as awful as that sounds. I never have time to go get tanned, so I’m thinking instead of me venturing off somewhere, I need to bring the sun to me. I’m looking into today, at the same time as booking an appointment to register my son. #priorties

I’m also fancying a last minute holiday. A sunny, sunny one with Keiran. I only want to go for 4 days, as I’d miss the children too much. But maybe in August, somewhere brief, sunny and abroad to celebrate our one year wedding anniversary.

Can you believe that Keiran and I, come August will have been married for one whole year and will have been together almost TWO years by that point. Being in a long term stable relationship is really important to both of us and we’ve found that. It’s like we’ve brought it out in one another, as it was always there but we just needed the right life partner. Keiran and I are an ideal match and i’ve always felt really worshiped by him…even when it’s been bad. For me to have dated someone for almost two years is a MIRACLE. I’m a curb tosser and usually because I feel the boy i’ve chosen just isn’t right anymore. But with him he’s always been my keeper. It’s just right and we don’t know why? It’s made us believe that there is that someone that is meant to be your life partner. Not necessarily that person that you fall for and makes you believe in love again…but that person that is your rock and fated to be your ‘other half,’ through life. That’s REAL love. Love that lasts a lifetime. You can fall in love the first time and I call that ‘puppy love,’ when you’re young and inexperienced and swirling around on a whim. Yet it’s never true love. It’s almost an infatuation. But when you’re older and you’ve taken an emotional beat down, you know all the tricks in the book and you’re much wiser to the game of love. Y’know what I mean…you know life, yourself and the other species a great deal better. Well if you can find your Prince then and still make it work then you KNOW they are ‘The One,’ and out of complete trueness and not a drifty, whimsical, ‘oooh’ of physical attraction. That’s what your first love is. Plus the idea of initially being ‘in love’ sort of masks actual TRUE LOVE. Your first love never counts as much as you want it to and as your life develops, it never means as much as you wished it did. Well that’s what i’ve learnt anyway. It took me a long time to get over Michael. Years and years and years…even though it was my idea to get divorced and leave. In that ‘years and years’ time, i sold myself short and racked up a ‘bedroom number’ of boys. (But at least they were Hollywood and hot. ๐Ÿ™‚ ) I never loved any of them because I couldn’t. I was lost and hurt, under the disguise of ‘i’m so fun and wild.’ You can’t find your true love when you’re a bit broken because you never realize you’re broken until later on in life and well it takes ‘the one’ (who is your true love) to break that spell, wake you up and get you back on the straight and narrow. The person that takes your hand and guides you out of that mist. I did that with Keiran and I did it with a *wink.* He did that with me..but he did it with *romance.* I remember that he used to text me when we had first met and he said, ‘It’s been a long time since i’ve had feeling like this for a girl.’ Boys do actually usually say that to me..I don’t know why, but they do? You’ll hear all my exes say, ‘there’s just something about her…’ Yet, I believed him and I loved him for him, knowing nothing about him. AND I saw him for who he really wanted to be…which was a love bunny. We just started our relationship off on the best foot ever and your first foot forward matters, as it sets the pace and the tone for the rest of the walk home.

God i’m being all preachy and weird. It’s the coffee. I need more. Maybe without tequila in it this time. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Anyway, i’ll cut the crap. Although things are great at home and it’s all free and harmonious, i’m obviously missing The Hubby a great deal and mainly on a night time when there’s just me. I had a little cry last night (sad I know, I need to pull myself together) but i guess yesterday I had too much pride to tell him. That’s odd for me because i’m highly expressive, especially about my feelings. Maybe i’m a lot more closed off that I thought. That’s life’s fault for bitch slapping me a few jolly times.

All i can say is that i’m learning, i’m loving, i’m dreaming and just know in the end it will of all been worth i and then some.

 

 

 

 

The ‘Diva-Diva-Shout-Scream’

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To say that I said I wasn’t going to strop anymore, I sure have just thrown a massive wobbly at my husband as he left to venture off for work for a week. He’s just driven off to Glastonbury to work for a week and well I don’t really call sitting around for hours, watching people, as you socialize, maybe get fucked up and flirt…’work.’ Which is pretty much what happened all last year…as I PLANNED our ENTIRE wedding by myself, in 2 months. This time, i’m having to look after babies, instead of plan an altar march and well last night he said something that completely rubbed me up the wrong way.

So, like I’ve said when you’re a Mum of two, you give up a loads, but you give up loads right from the point where you find out you’re pregnant and that was last AUGUST for me. Therefore and like i’ve said before for an entire THREE QUARTERS OF A YEAR, in addition to the present, where i’m still making the motherly sacrifices, i’ve done nothing. No fun, no play, no ME THINGS, no life, no work…no anything I’ve wanted to do and all things that i’ve HAD to do and this has been for almost a year now…and it’s still continuing, yet even more so because I have a newborn. (That’s what happens.) YET, all the while, during that ‘almost year’ of me sacrificing and not being able to do the things i’ve wanted…HE (you know i’m mad because I don’t even want to speak his name) did whatever he wanted. I’ve said all this before…but yeah, he worked, he played out with the boys, he stayed out on bender trips with the boys in York, he played sport, he hung out with friends, he tended to golf, worked out…he pretty much did whatever he wanted to do. ALL of the time. Whilst I couldn’t. No, in fact whilst I chose not to because I was pregnant AND looking after Ruby every night that he was out, or coming back home late from whatever sport he was rambling on about.

Now, i’m a bird of freedom. In relationships I want to feel free. I want to feel powerful. I want to feel feminine and I want to add the things I WANT to do, in with the things that I HAVE to do. I want to keep it glitzy. I want life to be filled with luxury. I’m patient to a point until I feel like i’ve taken the piss out of myself. Then i explode… and now…i’m exploding. I’m tired, I’m rough, i feel only a quarter of the person I used to be and my quality of life seems bland. I’m like a lollipop with all the flavour sucked out of it. Like an emery board, which has the gritty side worn away. I’m not the kinda girl who stays home all day baking cakes, or cooking men lunches, wiping down sides, scrubbing gussets, feeding babies, hoovering rugs…and whatever else some other chicks dig for fancy. I hate all that stuff. I’m Cinderella when she gets to the fricking BALL..not when she’s ragged up by mice.

If I don’t like something, i’ll change it and now I want ‘NEW’ because it’s all got too frustrating for me. I’m looking at my life and thinking this is NOT WHAT I WANT. I’m a glamour puss…and now I sort of resent Keiran for taking away who I was and who I am still…and making me make his tea’s and all this other crap that I hate to do. I want to go back to work NOW and I want to find my freedom again. He moans that he doesn’t have freedom, but he does what he wants to do a great deal more than I do. Plus, he’s a crap multi-tasker. I’ll blog with a baby on my knee and a feed. He can’t work upstairs on his laptop with either child around him.

So after a night of no sleep and staying up with Junior all night and tending to Ruby all night, who were both in my room with me, as Keiran had decided to sleep in the other room with his door firmly CLOSED. (I thought the idea of us having separate rooms was to TAG TEAM THE CHILDREN. Meaning at ALL TIMES…one child would be with me during the night and THE OTHER WITH HIM and he would have to take his pick.) I’ve noticed that he either sleeps by himself OR with Junior. That should never happen because at all times ONE CHILD needs to be watched by him. It’s not a bachelor pad. He shouldn’t have his own space, if I don’t. So, if he doesn’t have Junior in his room, he has to take Ruby.

(I’m just needing to vent and then i’ll feel fine again.)

But yeah the thing that annoyed me was the fact that whilst i was angry and stood in the kitchen he said, ‘Don’t worry babe, soon Junior’ll be in nursery and you’ll have time for yourself then.’ Once he said that…he pissed me off. I’m not some little wifey MAID, who can only have free time, as he gallivants off and does whatever he wants, even if it’s work and just because I apparently have to..and why because i’m ‘the girl.’ What? AS IF! Parenting is a TWO PERSON JOB and especially when you have TWO young children. Men never get that and because they find it hard to sacrifice. I find it hard NOW after already sacrificing everything for a year. But he annoyed me and I just looked at him and said, ‘So you think that sacrificing everything and for this long is all going to be made okay with Junior going into nursery, when I then go straight from the sacrifice to working a job that I probably won’t love, but HAVE TO DO, is a break for me and a blessing because it’s finally something different.‘ What? How stupid of him!

That’s not ME TIME or ME THINGS, or something I want to do. It’s something that I have to do and so going from gusset scrubbing to work, followed by gusset scrubbing is not my idea of fucking paradise. What is he thinking!!! He’s away for a week, doing whatever he wants, under the guise of ‘work.’

I threw a show at him. A dark green wedgy one. Then I stormed upstairs calling him names and screaming at him. (I couldn’t even fully scream at him because Baby Junior was in the living room trying to sleep. I can’t even do that!!) I said all sorts how I wanted more from life and didn’t see this as my life and how I hated my marriage and him and everything in between and how I wanted to be and feel like I did before and hve my life BACK. #funtimes

He followed me trying to make it better, but you can’t make it better when you’re about to leave. A pat on the back for a bit of sympathy before you walk out the door is not worth anything.

In that moment, it reminded me of Pete and It reminded me of feeling suffocated.

Yet this time with Keiran, he needs to realize that I’M NOT A SECOND CLASS CITIZEN in our relationship. I’m not the sweet little , stay at home Stepford wife that he wants, who dedicates her life to nursing the children and making sure dinner’s on the table at 5pm. I’M CHRISSIE FRICKING WUNNA…a man, a life partner is either always on par with me…or a rung below holding me up. ๐Ÿ™‚ That’s how it works. Nothing more, nothing less. I’m not giving things up and being petted with ‘ah don’t worry your life won’t be crap once you get to go to work…’ whilst he does and always has done whatever he wants.

I don’t think so. He’ such an ego.

Now, things change because there’s only room for ONE ego and it’s the better one..which is obviously MINE.

I’m gonna make coffee, i’m gonna calm down and then i’m going to change everything…like I always do. I’m gonna treat the kids to a bouji hotel night and only because Ruby loves it greatly and i’m gonna put on my warrior suit and get to turning my life into what I WANT IT TO BE. Join me. (I’ll probably get done, but i’m used to it. *Wiggle-wink*)

So to every women that feels mildy suffocated for feels as though a man is making her less of her a ‘Diva’…and more of a housewife…but without the diamonds or the giant salary and they don’t usually do it on purpose, well some do. But most men don’t. They’re just selfish and they don’t think and often believe flowers will mask over the issue that you truly have. But yes, find yourself and OWN IT. If you’re tired of things CHANGE THEM and feel empowered. Don’t let a guy tell you what to do, they can’t live without us. We’re the object of their entire affections. Remember that! WE run how they feel and they know that, hence why they hope we never find out that we do. ๐Ÿ™‚

Keiran’s not being evil…not one bit. He’s actually being lovely. But due to what he said whilst I was stood in that kitchen…well… that’s just put him in the doghouse because he pretty much, without even realizing displayed how he SAW ME and MY ROLE in our relationship, in comparison to HIMSELF and HIS ROLE.

He tried to calm me down with bouts of ‘You wont’ find anyone better than ME.’ (Men always say that…and you always do.)

As he left and kissed the baby, he told me that he had left me cash on the counter for the children and I to spend and that he loved me. I told him out of spite that I didn’t love him ๐Ÿ™‚ (Stroppy i know because I do love him, but for childish dramatic effect you kinda have to put it out like that) and then I shut the door on him. See ya! I’ll call you in a week.

I’m not even planning to talk to him for this entire week and because i’m good like that, once i’m in a strop it’s rubbish for the boy because i get on them big time.

I will tell you that good things happened yesterday. Pete picked Ruby up from nursery and as he was on his way to my patio door and as Keiran had just left (what a surprise)..to my surprise, they BOTH walked up with Ruby in between them at knee height and seemed to be having a ‘walk n talk’ conversation.

Anyway Keiran was talking about Junior and how he wanted to keep the kids together, meaning that if Pete could take both Ruby & Junior or pick them BOTH up on his normal Ruby pick up days, when Junior is older that would be lovely, because he wanted them to feel like a family and not be separated. He then said to Pete that he wasn’t trying to replace him, he was just looking after Ruby the best way he could and that he loved her like she was his own, like a daughter. Pete paused and said (as they were now both at the patio) ‘all I can say to you is thank you and that truly grateful for you looking after my little girl for me and giving her a stable family life.’

How lovely. I mean this is how all broken families should be. ย The boys are being really mature about it all and I love it as it’s not the best situation for either male, but they’re making the best of it for the children. Ruby loves them both and I make sure that she does. She has two dads and I always thought that when she was older it would be really difficult to explain it all to her. But because of how they’re being, it actually just makes complete sense. I love it and I love them all for keeping the situation as ‘Disney’ as possible. Keiran said that he was happy that there was no animosity between them and Pete agreed stating that he would never hold anger for him and it’s all pretty much down to how someone’s been brought up and that’s the TRUTH and I intend to raise my kiddiwinkles in the exact same manner.

Ugh! Now, i’ve blogged all my stress out I actually feel much much better now. It’s my therapy. I don’t even hate Keiran now. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve release it into Cyberland where it will now be read, chewed up and forgotten about. Sort of passed the burden on. That’s why I always argue with boys who try to make me not write the blog. It’s actually doing them a favour when I do because it makes me feel better once i’ve written the drama away.

I know i’m hormonal and I know that things are hard, but they’re happy times. Just writing that positive bit of story above about Pete, Keiran and Ruby brought happy tears to my kitten eyes because no matter what my little girl is more than loved and is going to be okay and that makes any mother feel overwhelmed because every little girl needs a great male role model. (I can’t believe that’s made me cry. I need a cocktail and a slap back to reality. Lol.)

Whenever i strop I always tell my mum all about it and I never just tell her my side, I tell her EVERYTHING and because the whole story is always best. People like to tell half stories on me, so I always promised i’d never do that to others. Plus, she’s knows me better than anyone. She knows i’m a pain but loves me anyway. And all she said about this whole situation is that i’m not stressed and i’m not hormonal. That i’m also not finding it difficult or struggling in any way whatsoever…that strop, bicker and spoilt bratt outburst of ‘Diva-Diva-shout-scream’ simply meant…‘Keiran..i’m going to miss you.’

..and the awful thing about it is that as always… she’s right.

One day i’ll grow up. but just not today, I guess. ๐Ÿ™‚

Oh deary me.

SEE! Blogging things out helps.

 

 

 

Coffee, Strops and a jolly little job hunt

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Good Monday, my little weekday birds of jiggedy! I’ve already managed to throw my morning strop and I feel like a complete twit now for strop throwing and because it was highly unnecessary and for no real reason other than the art of ‘Diva.’ i wasn’t even tired or anything. I just decided to throw a pointless wobbly, so here I am waving the flag for woman kind and quite often dogging on gents, when really us ‘dolls’ need to ‘chill pill’ it some times, as any Lady knows…especially those of the fire sign variety, we CAN get a bit too stroppy. I usually call it passion. I’m a passionate girl and i’ll fight my case be it good or bad. But today i pointless gave out verbal lashings and at the expense of the people I love the most. Not good and never goes with an up-do and baby pink jumper. (Wore my Size 8 leggings today. I was a bit too adventurous for my own good. There’s still more slimming ot be done before they fit my booty like a glove.) But yes…no more pointless stropping.

Junior slept through the ENTIRE night. I think (unlike Ruby, who’s a complete Daddy’s girl) he’s comforted by women. When Keiran does the night shift, he’s moany and uneasy. Whenever I do it…he relaxes and has a big old sleep through the whole night. I don’t quite understand it, but I like it. Ruby loves rough boyish man handling and to get stuck into life like a bulldozer. Junior likes his creature comforts…blankets, a warm bosom and a snuggle. I’m finding it hard to juggle both children, but I need to get better at it because my little girl is my world and because she’s so like me, it’s hard sometimes to get ya act together and get to parenting.

Keiran’s in pain. He still can’t move his neck and is absolute agony. He managed to pull it by shouting out weird names for Ruby when they were playing. When you crack your neck from simply shouting you are officially worthy of the ‘Old Man Thompson’ title. I’ve recovered from the flu, but i’m feeling fat and no hot. Being chubby is making me unhappy, which is the cause for my strops. Getting your ‘ooh laa’ back after having a baby isn’t easy on you mentally. But i’ll get there. I’m nearly there, but like with everything if you’re ‘nearly’ or ‘almost’ somewhere, you’re NOT ACTUALLY there. In the words of Brandi, ‘Almost doesn’t count.’

Anyway, Keiran goes off to wok Glastonbury tomorrow for the week, leaving me at home to man the house. I need to find a job asap and simply because I wasn’t made for washing dishes and cooking lunches. I prefer to make money and lots of it. I’ve applied fro a job that I really really want. However, it’s not the closing date for applications yet, so i still have some time to wait. I’m keeping everything crossed because I want that high paying, ‘gimme-gimme’ job that I’m actually weirdly qualified for. I KNOW!! I was in shock tooo! I read the job description and was like, ‘Holy Shit, I can actually do this job!!’ I want it. So i’m waiitng. Don’t worry, i’ve applied for everyhing else also. I just don’t want to travel far and I want to stay near home for my babies. I did that whole travelling to Leeds thing before and it was grueling. Plus, it’s hard for me because I wouldn’t have time to spend with Ruby or Junior, and well Keiran would go hungry. (He’s the type of man, who if I don’t make him a meal, he’ll starve and only snack on peanut butter simply because he doesn’t at all know how to cook for himself.)

During his absence, i’m going to try and slim down as much as possible. I can sort of do it better when left to my own devices. Plus, it’s ace when ย your gent goes away because us women always try to look better for when they get back. I don’t know why we do. But we do. We tan, we do our hair, we lose weight, or buy a new dress. Well…I do?

If I could say anything about yesterday it would be that I have a great mum. I really do. I have a wonderful mum who gives her heart and soul for her kids and that’s including Keiran. Yesterday evening, she unplucked my entire weave, which is a mighty job incase you didn’t know,) and that was after she treated Ruby to a whole bundle of goodies from Toys R Us. THEN, when it was late she gave Keiran acupressure for his neck, to make him feel better and did it like a proper mum. THEN after 9.30pm, she went and bought us a giant bucket of KFC to feast on, because it was late and we were hungry and couldn’t get out due to having the children.

I picked up my new hair today so i’n happy. I’ watching ‘Real Housewives…Atlanta’ and well I wish I lived their lives. They certainly perk my coffee fix up a treat. Towie on the other hand is depressing me, even though I do adore the show. It’s just constantly about people cheating on people and the girls deciding whether they should forgive them or not..as they attempt to find out THE TRUTH. Lol. If i’m honest, I don’t think you can trust ANY MAN and that’s because of the life that i’ve led, Hollywood, my relationships, being a previous glamour model and well the messages people have sent me…my experiences. No man can be trusted. I watched Jess Wright be angry at Ricky for cheating on her and well she wants to find out if he did it more than once, after he owned up. But really…the idea is that you LEAVE them after the first time…even if you find out much later. I enjoy how boys think that if they cheated on you when you were first together it doesn’t count. IT COUNTS. They were WITH YOU. Just because time has passed and they haven’t gotten caught and their feeling are much stronger doesn’t mean it didn’t happen or that it’s right. I’d leave him…like I have everyone. If you let them do it once and you don’t teach them a lesson, you’ll be in big old, ‘stuck in a rut’ trouble ladies. I mean, it’s just happened to my friend and I feel terrible for her. She’s left her husband as of 3 days ago and is filing for divorce. She text me to tell me al about it and asked me what I’d do if it happened to me..this is after her leaving him, because I never ever give advice to friend on relationships, in case it all goes wrong. Plus, I think far too many people get involved in other people’s business. The people that need to sort it out are the people involved and no-one else…and you should only seek advice from someone who truly loves you with all their heart…like ya mother. (If you have a good one.)

Her story was terrible. but I did tel her that if I found out that my husband had cheated on me, no matter how long, or how recent it was…i’d leave him and I wouldn’t care. I’ve done it before and I’d ย break up my entire marriage and family because the children and I are worth MORE than that. There’s consequences now and it’s never fun for the boy, is it. But for right now, we’re all good. I’m not letting my friend’s drama rub off on me.

Okay, i really need to snag a job and I need it to be a good one. A big money one. I found that other job and applied for it…However it’s good to refrain from putting all your eggs in one basket innit. Throw ‘gimme-gimme’ balls at every opportunity that comes your way, right?

But for now i need more coffee…

I really miss ‘Date Night.’ But whatever, no more stropping Wunna!

 

 

Sunday Banter

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So, it’s been a series of shopping trips, baby passes, smiles, love and sleepless nights. Take that and dollop it in shingles, the flu and all sorts of other fine jiggery pokery..but it in a boy band haircut and a push up bra and you have Wunna land. But we’re happy.

Yesterday, I finally managed to purchase a couple of items of clothing that actually fit me. I’m in that weird stage where i’m not fat and i’m not skinny. I either have preggo-fat clothes, or skinny tarty clothes. I don’t fit into the tarty little numbers and I look like Elvis the clown (I don’t know why I named my clown ‘Elvis’) in the preggo-fat…. couture. ๐Ÿ™‚ (It’s all from Primark.)

So yes, yeterday I bought me ‘mid-stage’ clothes that will pleasantly guide me through to my future skinny waistline. I’m trying to glam it up and well I do look sort of glam. However i’m not fully feeling it yet and because I haven’t completely dieted down to my perfect dress size. Until that point and I look in the mirror and think, ‘aah…i’m back’ with a *prowl* face, I’ll always simply feel as though i’m trying to polish a turd and well rolling it in glitter ain’t gonna cut it. Oh and to keep it really sexy, I caught a brief spat of Keiran’s shingles due to being run down and having the flu. I’ve had the shingles before, so I have the virus in my system. Lovely, I know. It’s on my right bum cheek and not at all hurting. It’ll be gone my next week. I just know. Like a guy who doesn’t see you as his future, it’s not going to stay around.

Keiran’s run down but working hard. He’s really trying to slam dunk his property business with a victory air punch of glory. He’s doing great and staying focused. I’m truly impressed with him right now…even though I accused him of giving me herpes. (It was Shingles. Wen he was told it was shingles he leapt in the air with joy. You’d never seen a happier person, who had just been told they had ‘the shingles’ as I call it. Imagine if he has actually cheated on me…i’d never know and he’d never get caught.) But yes, on the whole, he’s seeing our future the way he should be and he was lovely the other day when we had our little chat. (He loves our chats.) He told me that he wanted to do really well for us, so that he could buy his freedom and treat me the way he always wanted to. I like the sound of that, so he can keep up the good work. (And leave his wallet at the door. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m joking. I can never seem to spend a boys money. My flag of ‘independence’ pokes out and with a kitty snatch of ‘gimme-gimme,’ I begin to wave it madly, in order to hold onto my own sense of POWER.) Oh shit..I didn’t mean ‘snatch’ as in vagina. That would be rather peculiar, however I thought I’d better point it out, because you never really know with me, do ya!

I’m looking after the kiddies, loving them, finding it hard, but being grateful for the blessing that they are, between mugs of coffee that I wish we’re rummy cocktails. I’m happy even though i keep sauntering around the house pulling maungy faces at Keiran. Lol. He’s laughing them off…and I mean my faces, not the children…because i’d kill him otherwise..with karate chops and…knives. ๐Ÿ™‚ #roamceisalive Today his neck is hurting after staying up all night with Baby Junior, who wouldn’t settle. Craig and ‘The Hubs’ watched my ex-hubby in the Tom Cruise movie ‘Jack Reacher last night. I fell asleep with Ruby and forgot to do the Baby Junior night shift. ๐Ÿ™‚ Careless of me, I know. However, I’ve watched my ex-husband DO LIFE and one with me when I was a wee 2o-something. I’ve already watched him DO ACTING in Tom Cruise movies, so tucking Ruby in and falling asleep with her, seemed a better option.

But yes…Keiran’s neck is killing him today and he’s moaning about it. Y’know how men do…when they moan and moan because they want sympathy and cuddles…but more sympathy. If you know me..you know that i’m SHIT at sympathy. I don’t like to give it, or in face receive it even. He’s been ‘ouching’ with every move he makes and i’ve sat there with a comedy dead pan face, whilst tossing him pills. It does actually hurt him but I just think having an entire CHILD WEDGED OUT OF MY VAGINA hurt a lot more. I’ll shimmie out a bit of sympathy when I believe it’s due. ๐Ÿ™‚

Then I made steak pita thingys.

Life is good. I’m losing weight, looking forward to getting back to work, loving being a mum, but nervous about the future. I don’t know where I’m headed but it better be somewhere and it better end in millions of pounds. My mums feeding Junior. Ruby’s been to Toys R Us and is passed out on the sofa. Keiran’s cleaning golf bags to sell on ebay and I CAN’T WAIT TO PICK UP my new hair extensions tomorrow. I missed my parcel yesterday because I was out shopping. Creepiest parcel ever, filled with some human’s hair and for me to place in my own hair. But alas, I missed it, so i have to pick it up tomorrow from the Ponty sorting office, which is awkward because I always meet some weird old woman who always wants to be my ‘socialite friend.’ Remind me to make an appointment to register Junior when i’m n town, use the sunbed and..something else? I can’t remember? Wow, i should be in MENSA.

This Tuesday Keiran leaves to go work Glastonbury. His security company is doing the Summer festivals again…so he’ s off on his merry way to make some money, for a week. I’m gonna be fine, but Ruby is gonna miss him terribly. Luckily, I have a great deal of help, so the children aren’t going to be a problem. ‘Wunna’ time, unlike ‘Hammer time’ ย isn’t gonna be too bad. I have a lot to get on with and once I get over my online shopping addiction…i’ll be able to get on with it. ๐Ÿ™‚ I need a job.

Shit, I had stuff to say about boys and all sorts, but I can’t remember it all now. I want a new house. Boys are hitting on me. Exes are secretly hitting on me. AND right now i’m not bothered, because i kinda have my hands full with babies. Plus, i’m quite happily married right now (unless he’s secretly cheated on me) … and when a girl is happy, no other man gets a look in really, do they.

I can’t wait until I have a job, have millions and i’m skinny.

Not much to ask. *Looks to The Gods.*

 

 

 

 

 

Strippers, love and puking

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Happy, delicious, mayhem is the boogie that’s a jigging around Wunna land right now. Keiran and I are MADLY in love that it’s almost sickening. It’s the kinda sickening that could make you cry into your gin and hump a pitbull simply to feel loved for a mild second. We spent the evening last night laid on the bed, when the children were asleep just talking. We talked about life, lvoe, our love and success. We shared dreams, moments and smiles…and well when he looked at me and said, ‘I could never be with anyone else,’ my heart skipped and beat and he had me forever. ๐Ÿ™‚

Now, I don’t want you to think that i’m not romantic..as i’m always handing him ‘love points’ left right and centre, yet never filling up my own basket with ‘pats on my glittery ass back.’ Whilst we were laid and I was tickling his back, mid ‘dream talk,’ I looked at him and said, ‘I hope that when Ruby is older she marries a man who is just like you.’ I honestly have th most caring and loving hubby, who has really pulled himself together. I remember how much we used to argue and looked at how different we were now. If we were just like this all along, then we wouldn’t have had to go through all that jiggery pokery. We’ve found our balance…well he has. I still have wobbly bits of emotion and wobbly bits of booty junk a shaking. I think having Baby Ruby AND Baby Junior has finally made us get our act together. (Thank GOD.) But it means we’re good people. I’m sure of it. ๐Ÿ™‚ Good people, pull themselves together when they HAVE to and because something MORE IMPORTANT than their ego’s have popped up in their world.

Junior didn’t ย sleep at all, so Keiran’s had zero minutes sleep all night. Ruby slept through. ๐Ÿ™‚ Hurrah. (I was on ‘Ruby watch’ last night. We tag teamed the children at night.) Ruby loves her bedtime and well she’s even started to sleep in now. Makes her a hell of a lot more chipper and makes MUMMY very very very happy. (I watched her pouting at her mirror image this morning and fake giggling at herself. That’s my little girl. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve taught her well. ) She’s sleeping well because she’s become addicted to this random bed time story I tell her every night. It shouldn’t really be random, as it’s the story of ‘Goldilocks & the Three Bears.’ Have you ever tried to tell that story without an actual story book to refresh your memory of such a tale. Lol. It’s fucking HARD and i’m skilled in the art of storytelling and fairytales. It all starts off well…but after ‘Once upon a time…’ I get confused, bored and unfamiliar with the subject matter and start having to make it up. What is that story? Three bears…woods, some little girl with golden locks…sits on all their chairs, eats all their porridge and sleeps in their beds? I dunno? I start making it up and telling it quickly. Patience is not my thing. I don’t like long winded stories. I enjoy getting to the point, which doesn’t work out as well when you’re bed time story telling. Plus, the other problem i’m having ย is that Ruby loves my version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears,’ and makes me tell her the tale over and over again. I don’t even know what I said the first time, let alone try and tell it to her over again!!! How did that actual tale end, because in my version Goldilocks wakes up in some bears bed, gets scared, screams and runs off. I’ve sort of mixed the tale in with my old Hollywood life. I’ve woken up after many an encounter and felt the need to run away into the woods screaming. Well…if ‘the woods’ meant ‘back to my swanky West Hollywood condo.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ *Cocktail here.*

Baby Junior on the other hand…my delicious little boy, did 102 poos and puked down my cleavage at least 7 times yesterday. If he’s ever going to be sick, it’s always down my ‘silicone valley.’ Luckily, they’re plastic…making them ‘easy-clean.’ BOOYAH! *Honk-Honk.* Whenever i mentioned boobs I get messages from boys who all think i’m trying to be sexy and jump in on the idea with a full boner and a ‘HERE I COME.’ Having my son DO A SICK on thems here boobies, ย isn’t meant to ‘rev’ your libido, I assure you. I’m just reporting the tragedies of my life. It’s a good job I adore him. He’s the only boy i’ll ever let puke on me…Plus, it’s the only puke that i’ll actually clean up. (I once puked in my guy friend Daniel Perez’s bath tub in West LA, after a night of cocktails, a club and calling Joseph Fiennes. I slept over and refused to clean my own sick up out of his bath. He ended up having to do it. I mean he had to if he ever wanted a bath again. Daniel’s gay..so he hated ever minute of scrubbing up my sick, i’m sure. Yet he didn’t complain because he understood me so well. In fact he found it SO hilarious that he let me off with a ‘of course she’s not going to clean up her own sick…she’s fabulous.’ ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m currently watching the reruns of ‘Real Houswives..Atlanta’ and they’re talking about strip clubs and husbands going to them. Some women mind, some women don’t. Who you mind?

Now, I’ve been to a strip club a million times..with girls, with friends, with Keiran even. I’ve been to local ones (Helllooo ‘Heaven’ in Ponty) where I used to just share drinks with Harriet and Wazza and well accidentally watch comedy girls wiggle around a pole to Britney Spears tracks. Pahaha. We loved it. We shoulder bumped and everything. I apparently even had my own tab there. The thing about that place was that it wasn’t even 1% sexy. It was more like a place to grab a drink with friends and do drunk dancing to Kid Rock..the ย surrounding atmosphere just so happened to be Ponty strippers. In fact outside the joint where bouncers and what seemed like the whole of Pontefract all fighting and punching each other in the face by ‘New Look,’ before running down alley ways. That’s how sexy it was.

However, there are other joints where there are girls who KNOW HOW TO MAKE DOLLAR, all swinky swankering around your man and your man actually loving it. That’s a different story isn’t it!!! But I don’t mind, I’ve done a night at Wildcats with Keiran and a moment at Silks. It doesn’t rub me up the wrong way really. We had a good night. It’s not something that I feel ‘oooh we NEED to do,’ it’s more of a ‘if it happens by accident and we end up in one, it’s happened, so grab a rum.’ No-one can swinky-swanker better than me, so in a way I sort of feel safe. It a territory i’m used to. ๐Ÿ™‚ There are the girls that truly don’t mind, the girls that do and the girls that do, but pretend that they don’t mind and the girls that really wouldn’t mind as much as they think they would. If i don’t like something, i will always say. He’ll hear it if he likes it or not. So, if you’re a lady who doesn’t like your man paying chica’s to strip off for him, or even being around such an environment…then be brave enough to say and say it with ‘umph.’

Anyhow all that’s just a blurry Blue WKD past. (Yucky drink.) Now my world is misted and swirled with true love, rainbows and dreams come true. We’re trying to focus now on getting our money right. I’m concentrating on work, like I said I would and he’s concentrating on business and the building of it…like a mad man. We’ve taken the next step up a level and now need to work hard in order to make our dreams come true!

But first…i need a coffee and he needs a nap.

Love you.

Kisses.

 

 

Drama Free, Classical, Cheaters

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‘Men need to like YOU a little more than you like them..’ is the best piece of advice that I can give you today, courtesy of Nene Leakes, ‘Real Housewives Atlanta,’ and it’s true. Growing up I saw and well still see in young kittens today. In fact, no not just the young, but all girls, ladies and w.o.m.a.n’s..fawning and helplessly making foolish sacrifices for gents who really weren’t or aren’t worthy of such attention. Men like it because they become addicted to the power. They like control. Yet when you’re a girl that they can’t control, they want to win you over because in a way it’s their ‘safe place’ because not only do they have to ‘work’ for your love, (which men are quite equipped for) ย they feel you will always protect them..they all love a ‘mummy.’ So, just a quick reminder to all you delicious ladies to refrain from selling yourself short. If a man does you wrong and you find out…it’s important that you leave the, or so something drastic in order to put them back in their place with an ‘umph,’ before YOU decided your next step and that next step can be in the arms of a real hero or back with the old one, who will now have a more refreshed view on how he has to treat you.

I’m an advocate for women and children and so anytime I can express to all you wonderful glamour pusses and tell you my story, in hope that it gives you a little shimmie in yours, I do. I’ve sold myself short lots of times, yet also never taken any kind of crap, but wept, laughed, been cheated on and cheated. I’ve played ever role possible in the book of love. I’ve been the young wife, the old wife, the mistress, the girlfriend in love, the girlfriend who wants more….the shag piece, the best friend…everything…don’t stand for anything that you don’t think is right.

I’ve left boys for all sorts. Yeah..many of the reasons have been comedic, because i’m a prize tool. I left a boy for going to Morocco for a month. I agreed that he could go wholeheartedly, but I knew that when he did i wouldn’t be with him anymore. After a month of him gone and with me having zero contact with him deliberately..IN FACT i had already started dating an entire other boy during that time… The Morocco boy was a lovely boy, but when he was gone I realized that I had lost my connection with him. When he arrived back on American soil, the first thing he did was come knocking on my door, even before he went home. When I opened the door…he knew he had lost me, even though my fake smile.

I’ve dumped a boy because he was too religious. I’ve dumped a boy because he asked me to marry him. I’ve dumped a boy because he stood me up, one disrespected me, one was far too argumentative, one was too young, one was too ‘party boy,’ one was a druggie, one was not the kind of boy to light my fire, one was a player, one bored me, one boy cheated on me and I found out much later on, one flirted with others girls, another was just friendly facebooking girls that he had previous sex and a relationship with,..all sorts. I’m strict with what I think is wrong and the awfullest thing for any boy that I date it that it’s usually the smallest thing that will make me walk. the big things i can usually handle and that’s mainly because i’m an ego maniac. Hurt my pride and you’ll have me gone. My heart can take a beating. ๐Ÿ™‚ My pride however is viscous, like a drag queen on steroids. (I love that i once had a tranny in my kitchen making me Cornflakes.)

I don’t know why i’m rambling on about this this morning, but it’s a good refresher course for all you divine women out there. We all need to hear it every so often and well i think because i’ve watched numerous episodes of Towie and ‘Real Housewives..’ .and i’ve been hearing stories of my friends boyfriends and husbands all flirting with girls behind their back and getting caught, that it’s just made me think. Men always cheat, you can’t stop them and for me cheating isn’t just having sex with someone else, like i said if they flirt with another girl, i count that as cheating. (I run a tight ship. ๐Ÿ™‚ ) But to all the girls that feel like they might be losing their way, you’re not, you’re strong, find you’re inner ‘diva’ and strut! A man will always treat you the way you TEACH THEM to treat you. They’re like puppies, but not as cute. However, they buy you diamonds if you put out. ๐Ÿ™‚ Hmmmmmkay! *Wiggle-wink*

Other than all that, Wunna land is dandy. Ruby is happy as can be now. It seems she was only grumbly because she had a brief bit of the flu and well Baby Junior is back to being ‘chill’ now that he has managed to poo his way to victory and championed the art of constipation. I now have the flu. #Hurrah. I feel and look like rubbish and all.in a denim skirt and Keiran now has THE SHINGLES.

He showed me bumpy blistery boils just above his groin, under his stomach, so i immediately tell him he has herpes and that he was in big trouble because i didn’t have have such a disease and well i hadn’t had sex with him. I photographed it for my mum and forwarded it to her. ๐Ÿ™‚ Lucky mum. It’s her job, don’t worry. When she came around later and with my Daddy, they both checked it out…yes Keiran got his bits out for the folks. And well it wasn’t herpes…it’s actually SHINGLES.

Now we’ve both had it, in under a year!! He doesn’t seem like he’s in that much pain yet because he’s in the very early stages of it. I was useless and left the medication part until far too late because i just thought i had a bite. ๐Ÿ™‚ #wunnalogic. But i hope he gets better.

Life is still good, i’m currently getting back on that joyous conveyor belt ย of ‘looking for a job.’ It’s not going so badly actually. There’s one that I do hope to get and well i’ve completed my application yesterday, so fingers crossed. It’s a good job with great pay. Cha-ching! I’ve done my best, so we’ll have to wait and see.

Things are getting back to normal. I wish i was a superstar or that I won the Euromillions, but for now, i’ve ME and I adore it. I Tweeted last night, how I couldn’t even believe how wonderful my life was. I had just put baby Ruby to bed, She was beautiful. Then Keiran and I were laid in another room watching Baby Junior play and sleep on the bed. he was so cute and we couldn’t believe we had created him out of our love. It’s just magical.

I’ve been really lucky because Keiran sees Ruby as his own daughter and loves her with all of his heart and now we have Baby Junior, who astonishes us every day because we created him. We love the kiddies so much.

Last night we all fell asleep to classical music…

When that happens your world is at peace! So happy to have NO DRAMA.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We all love an Impressive Male..

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Well we finally got our first set of wardrobes. The wardrobes were supposed to make an appearance probably around 3 weeks ago. They were paid in full and nowhere to be found. (What a surprise!) I even had a baby in between their arrival. I got so angered by the incompetent of pretty much every delivery service that I seem to use that I did what any little ‘Diva’ who wanted to enjoy her new family would do and who couldn’t be bothered with the mundane tasks that life has to offer and I set my MOTHER on them. Now, if you know my mum, she is the nicest, most caring woman you could ever meet in your entire lifetime. She’s my idol and the one person in life that I strive to one day impress. However, SHE IS FEISTY and if I ever inherited my ‘fricka-friiicka-feist’ from ANYONE, it was her. All the women in my family are ‘wham bammers.’ You just don’t mess with us. Including Ruby. The boys are more gentle..and I guess they need to be in order to balance out the ninja femmes.

I set my mum on them and ‘oh look’ my wardrobes came the next day. ๐Ÿ™‚

Now, i was ever so pleased that they finally decided to arrive…however there is nothing worse to me then having giant sized obstructions and in fact tiny sized obstructions littering the house. We had wardrobes and boxes and tools and shoes and toys and clothes and more boxes, on boxes, on boxes ALL over the place, to the point where the house was such a tip it was depressing. We had a tower of laundry, next to weights, next to nappies. #annoying

It stressed me out because I couldn’t turn or look anywhere without giant sized clutter filling up my view. It killed me. If i hate anything i hate cardboard boxes filled with..well anything…around the home. Ours have clothes, ‘Win a Mini’ marketing stands, Lords knows what else and well i wouldn’t be surprised if an entire homeless lived in one at this rate.

Anyway, I picked Ruby up from Nursery and left the stress behind me. Moving stuff around is hideous to me.

I get back and look after the children and Keiran rushes upstairs to tend to clearing all the mess up. Now, i figured he’d clear the little bits up and i’m simply have to spend the rest of my entire life weaving around a wardrobe that was abandoned at the top of the stairs…with a 2 year old and a newborn in my hands, in booty shorts and heels.

BUT HOLY SHIT NO! I am honestly married to the most AMAZING man ever. (Keiran’s just told me to have a peek at Junior. I don’t really need to have a look. I’ve looked at him all night, where he cried and stayed awake, through the whole of the evening thanks. I had to sleep sitting up…which meant I didn’t sleep at all. I have honestly had about 3 minutes sleep. Life is fun. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Aside from that…where was I? Oh yeah, I have the most amazing husband ever. No joke. I was SO IMPRESSED that he almost would’ve got sex if he tried. Holy moly. I went upstairs to tuck Ruby to bed and I was AMAZED at what my delicious hubby had done…and all by himself. He had lifted and moved three giant wardrobes into a room, BY HIMSELF, didn’t like where he had placed them, so re-lifted and moved them to a better part of the room. Then he had moved all the furniture from one room, into the other, moved the beds, sorted out the clothes and storage and hoovered the entire upstairs and cleared away all the toys and clutter. It was like a home makeover. It was 60 minute makeover, but without a team and just ONE MAN.

So, now i am so impressed because I have no idea how he has at all managed to do it that I have decided that I am either secretly married to Superman…or he’s just tremendous. I couldn’t believe it. How the hell did he do it? AND ALL MY HIMSELF in about an hour. I don’t get it? He’s magic!

I ran downstairs after making up bedtime stories for Ruby and with ultimate glee i told him how utterly IMPRESSED I was with him and how happy he had made me.

Y’see, this is what I like about him…the fact that he always manages to impress me and the fact that he can just DO the boy things that he needs to do, when he needs to do them.

He believes that it’s the smallest things that impress me and i guess it is, because i once remember that he uncoiled a roll of kitchen ย foil that I had all fucked up quite well actually, due to me being such a domestic goddess. It had split and jaggered it’s way to disaster and you couldn’t find the end because I had made 47 split ends of foily trouble. It pissed me off and showed it to the hubs with a dolly frown upon my face, when I couldn’t make chicken on it. Within 10 minutes, he had unraveled and solved the puzzle like he was a Rubik cube champion. It didn’t have a single slit, jaggered end pr split in it and rolled out joyously like one large, flat, blanket like wave of silver aluminium. I don’t know why that impressed me so much. But it did. Haha. Probably more than him asking me to marry him because I expect boys to want me to be their wife. ๐Ÿ™‚

Anyway, i must get off for a little bit as i’m on a job hunt and it seems that i’m doing quite dandy at it right now. There’s quite a lot of good jobs and well i need to snag one asap. A lot more sleep would’ve helped. But ah well..that’s the joys of a newborn.

Now ย get me back to work…