Let there be love…& Pie Eating

 

Morning you yummy drips of gooey love-fest! It’s Wednesday! It’s what we used to call in Hollywood ‘Hump Day,’ so lets get this show a rolling and decorate it with a wiggle divine!

I’ve just completely the nursery run! I’m now going to FORCE Rubes into going back to her normal bedtime hours. She’s one who ADORES her bed time. A child who will simply say, ‘Mummy, I want to go to bed.’ Yet there’s gonna be no more of these ‘Mummy I need to go to bed’ at 6.15pm..as it causes her to deliciously rise at 5.45am. (Lucky me! This morning, I had completely lost my swag. I slept with my makeup on and woke up with it smeared all over my face, with my new layered hair do, no sight and a scowl.) Now, Rubes forgets that’s she’s ethnic and well she’s a beauty that NEEDS her sleep otherwise she can’t handle her day. Even SHE HERSELF can’t stand waking up at 5.45am because she starts being all moody for no reason. But If I ever have to watch ‘Cloud Babies’ at such an hour, whilst in my 9th month of pregnancy, with a moody 2 year old who wants to kick my belly, with no sight, and my face smeared across…well my face…then we’re gonna have problems. πŸ™‚ I’m not down with that shimmie. Frickin’ ‘Cloud Babies.’ My arse.

Keiran and I have swirled back into love mode and I do mean properly, without the old ‘under the carpet’ sweep. Yesterday was lovely, because After I had bought our local Co-op out of everything they owned (i’m nesting)…and pulled up outside our house, his work van pulled up right behind me and he beamed with happiness, just to see me. From that point on, we were kissy, kissy, cuddly snuggly and completely and utterly in love, sort of like we used to be, when we first met, but better…because now we have each other forever. (I love that I can now say FOREVER, without having to state it in this manner…’forever.’) He was nothing short of a delight, all soft, chipper, gentle, romantic and kind. He was loving, appreciated me and well I guess all we needed was ‘us’ time…a couple hours dedicated to us…and it was lovely. I felt..well feel over the moon and it really turned our relationship rosy. We’re both excited about the birth of our son. We have the entire town excited simply because I keep bobbing around with my bump, hoping to bring on a shocker and well yesterday was the first day in a few weeks, that I felt that we were back to normal. I loved it. Maybe he read my blog and thought, ‘Shit she’s been watching porn! Maybe if I play my cards right, i’ll be *ding-ding* jackpotting it,’ as he was a bit feely whenever I decided to bend over.

Anyway, that’s all great, so lets bring out the banners once more. I’m in lurve. I feel alive.

Yesterday at 3,40pm, I trundled off to get my hair trimmed. When you’re preggo, you really can’t be arsed to do your hair, especially if your idea hair is the big old glamour weave and you have zero patience, dipped in rubbish working arms. SO, being Miss.Fabulosity, I figured I would just pay someone to groom it for me. πŸ™‚ It’s currently my answer to everything. Yet it really does work and who knew that an old school friend of mine owned her own salon in our local village…meaning I would get my entire hair ‘did’ for the bargain price of Β£9. It was Β£53 at the other place. Plus, this lovely chica already knew a great deal about me, so I felt comfortable in my swirly zebra print chair, in front of the mirror, as she snipped away at my hair.

Great time! I mean, I usually get a little shy when people start asking me a lot of questions about myself. I don’t know why? But I do. I think, i’d prefer people to just read the blog so I didn’t have to go through’the chat’ of my life, simply out of laziness. However, yesterday I didn’t mind. I loved it! It could’ve been the zebra chairs, they comforted me with ‘ooh laa,’ and I had had a nap during porn, so I felt refreshed. Yet I think it was because I went to school with the the hairdresser, which always makes everything better. It makes me feel safe…even though when people met me, there is an expectation of how I will be. Hence why I’ve been asked to appear everywhere a lot for money. I haven’t really done much of that lately due to me being pregnant and having a 2 year old. Yet, once i’ve birthed the bump, things will change and simply because I want to put myself back on the glitzy map of the fame game and also….i want more, more, GIMMIE, money. πŸ™‚

So, as ‘Sam’ the hairdresser trimmed her way through my weave and discussed my bump, we giggled and out witted one another, before I suggested that she better be good at catching babies, because even though I felt as though my bump was as snug as a rug, knowing my luck, I would’ve said something stupid like that and straight after the statement find myself shooting him out of my vagina by the other swirly zebra chair. πŸ™‚ I told her that I didn’t really know how to raise a boy and i’m telling the truth, that’s less of a joke! I’m just hoping that instead of the placenta, (which I find gross that people EAT and people who aren’t even ASIAN. You can’t make fun of ME, having slanty eyes, who might eat your domestic pets, if YOU’RE A BEING WHO MIGHT EAT SOMETHING ATTACHED TO YOUR OWN GODDAMN CHILD, that has VENTURED OUT OF YOUR VAGINA πŸ™‚ ) But yeah, instead of the placenta…i’m hoping for an instruction booklet and a rum. I think I already have vodka stored in my breasts, instead of milk..so at least that’s a bonus for the baby, if I decide to breastfeed. I’ll be stranded at the hospital on my own like last time, due to anaemia, for the following two days after the birth, with my son in my hands and my crazy vodka breasts, attempting to calm him into the world, as he kicks me madly in the face, to screeches and nurses forcing me to do things I don’t want to do. πŸ™‚

Back to the haircut…

Then as Sam cut another layer into my fine weave, whilst pissing herself at my mouthy, yet rubbish sense of humour…(it was like a ‘joke, then a layer cut’..which I liked. I’m not scissor shy, when it comes to hair. I’m not a hoarder nor do I want un-styled, long ass gypsy hair. If it needs to come off…snip it. I’m like that with everything , because i’ve accidentally or on purpose managed to lose a lot in my life, making the loss not so hard to handle these days. I’ve also gained a lot…so I’m happy. But yeah, I’m not a clinger-on-er. I’m a freedom bird. Get it snipped and hand me a wine.) She actually asked me how Ruby was and if she looked like me. I smiled, through my mirror at her and simply said, ‘Yeah, you can certainly tell she’s mine..I mean she looks like me, but of course without the fake eyelashes, fake tan and whore makeup. πŸ™‚ ‘

We couldn’t stop laughing out arses off….then she cut another layer. My hair looks ace. I can now celebrate BIG KITTEN hair and simply because she’s styles if so well. Get a good cut and those rollers will delight. I mean, I have the thinnest hair from the orient ever. It’s dead straight and limp. It takes a LOT to get it going. When I was all done, Sam then introduced me to some magic hair powder, by ‘Got 2Be’ (Is that the brand?) Anyway, you sprinkle it on your scalp and it Β creates a resistance between your hair and your scalp making your hair volume away like a frightened ‘Cousin IT.’ I loved it so much that I’m going to purchase some today. It’s amazing. Then her final advice about the powder was even better. ‘It might make your hair feel a bit funny, but it works…and who cares what your hair feels like, it’s what you look like that matters. And if your hair goes flat, just re-rub your scalp and it will lift again like magic. OH & if it wears off…just pour some more in. πŸ™‚ ‘ I love it. Excess-Excess-Gimme-Gimme!

I’ve just been having a conversation with a chick friend about how it’s lovely that men are turning into old romantics again. Well, my husband is an old romantic and without me having to prompt him. I like that about him and i’ve liked it from day one. I loved that he courted me, took me out to special dinners, surprised me with flowers at the dinner (I mean, OMG) and then talked about marriage and proposed in 5 weeks. Even though we’ve had a bumpy journey, to this day he still buys me flowers, get’s watches engraved declaring his love, tells me I’m beautiful and stays stood by my side no matter what.

I’m glad we’re back to great again! πŸ™‚

God! I’m eager to have his baby now. I’m excited! Apparently the bigger he is, the sooner he’ll drop, so I need to start eating all the pies NOW, in order to make him a fatty. Helloooo Operation Pie Eating! πŸ™‚ Sexy!

Have a great day!

A little bit of Pussy Cat Doll Love….(I LOVE IT WHEN IT CUTS TO THE DANCE SECTION…FIT)

 

 

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