Voice like a Tranny

 

What a beautiful day! Spring is really here! And yes, there is a slight ‘alarm’ in my voice simply because once we Brits get all excited about the weather, the Good Lord *middle finger’s* us and throws down a rain shower or a snow fall. So right now, we’re all dandy and I thank the Gods for it!

I woke up to tweetie birds today and any time that happens and you’re not in a Disney movie, you can count yourself  lucky. *Mimosa here.*

Yesterday was filled with family lunches, good weather and my Daddy trumping. Now, I adore my Daddy and simply because he is the ONLY man in this entire world who has completely ALWAYS managed to be good to me. He’s been the most wonderful role model when it’s come to ‘being a daddy’ and well, it’s sort of made my hunt for ‘ideal man’ much harder through life, simply because I began my years with such a good Papa. A man that always loved me and never ever hurt me. He’s still that way now and I’m 32. So, it was cute yesterday when we ventured to lunch and at 65 he couldn’t get out the car, without letting out an O.A.P trump. 🙂 The same man used to piggy back me down the stairs when I was a little girl because I was afraid of the dark. Now he can’t bend out of nice cars without trumping. It’s ACE. I love him. In fact being a ‘Wunna’ is one of the greatest things ever. We’re the closest, most loving family going. It’s not always smeared in glitter and usually down to my impulsive idiotic antics, but we’re always there for one another with a smile and an open heart. When one of us *trumps* there way out of a Mercedes, all we can do is look at each other and crack up laughing, as we ‘hand hold’ the rest of the clan through the day with love. 

After lunch, we shopped. Ruby was enjoying Wacky Warehouse with Pete. Keiran was enjoying whacking balls on the golf course with his new found cousin. (He’s finally found a sporty friend. He’s been wanting a sporty friend for ages and simply because he’s so Army active. Most of his friends can’t be arsed with 3 rounds of golf, a bike ride, a gym session and then a run. 🙂 Now, he has a relative that not only does all that, but has added cricket to the equation. Keiran hasn’t played cricket since he was a kid, yet is in a match this Saturday. So as the hilarious fairytale goes, I’ll be stood on the side lines, cheering him on, not knowing how he got there and what we’re actually doing. 🙂 )

The funny thing is that, i’ve started to be really active and positive and Keiran has now drifted over…only mildly might I add…to the dark side. This morning, an old crippled man, with a walking stick, and a dog, was attempting to cross a very busy road and quite awfully for him, one that leads into a busy grocery store. He looked, he paused, he weighed the chances of his steps with his disability….and then went for it. Keiran saw him, stopped and *beeped* at him to go. The man paused, looked at us in the car and scurried back onto the pavement looking all angry, as in his ‘weighing up’ of things, he didn’t see that we were at the junction turning. We waited and let him go. He didn’t. Then he did, now with his angry face AND imaginary fist in the air. 🙂 And what does Keiran do? Let it slide? Wave him on his way? NO!

Keiran decides to wind down the window and politely shout at him. ‘You’re gonna have to look where you’re going! I’m looking out for you, so you don’t get hurt!!’

The old man, yelled back at him and said, ‘What is wrong with you. I’ve said SORRY MATE.’

‘Yeah, but i’m only trying to help. I couldn’t hurt you,’ said The Hubs.

‘WHAT!!! I SAID SORRY.’

‘MATE…look where you’re GOING.’

‘AHHHHH…FUCK OFF!’

Hahahaha. That’s how our 9.30am decided to go. Keiran got told to ‘fuck off’ by an old man and because he thinks it’s okay to yell at a man with a walking stick and a dog. Lol. Jesus.

We giggled and pulled into the grocery store. I asked him what he wanted and he weirdly said, ‘Bananas.’ I don’t know why I find that funny, but I do?

I also suggested that I bring a granny out for him to pick on too. He smiled and *shooed* me out of the car before I annoyed him.

I have no voice today and I mean it literally. Don’t know what’s happened apart from the cold. But i’ve lost my voice. I sound like a tranny and I feel like I no longer have a personality because I can’t communicate. It’s hilarious. I’m on the honey and lemon tea right as we speak. All i’m gonna say is, trying to explain what is wrong with your car to a man who fixes car, with no voice, but a faux fur on is not easy. I had too much lippy, big hair, a faux fur and my squinty eyes on. Add tranny voice to that, at 9.45am and you don’t really have a winner. Anyway, i hope he looks over it all and finds something minor wrong with my wheels. But you know what they’re like! he’s probably unscrewing every nut and bolt as we speak, ready to tell me I need everything fixing in a jiffy or i’ll die.

Fun!

Great night last night. I got to spend it laid in bed with Baby Ruby watching ‘Cinderella’ again. She asked for it this time, like she needed the fairytale to settle her into dream land. I will say that the joys of Wacky Warehouse had got the better of her as she fell asleep before the second song. I looked over her, at saw her little closed eyes. She was the cutest little thing I had ever seen. The my Baby Bump walloped me from inside and before you know it, i was trundling downstairs, with my no voice, looking for water, in tight booty shorts and hoochie vest, to cuddle Keiran on the sofa and watch ‘The Kings Speech.’#great movie

Along with my booty shorts, i had grey over the knee socks. My favourite combination of clothing, when chillaxing. I haven’t been able to dress or even relax the way i’ve wanted to really, so now it feels good to be getting back to being ME!

They do say that during your last weeks of pregnancy you take on the personality of your baby. I mean, my mum is different to I and when I was residing in her belly she decided out of nowhere that she needed her nails done, a hair piece put in, fake eyelashes and a new makeup set. My mums nothing like that. She a more serious, yet fun Doctor type. Grooming ain’t her thing. To me she’s beautiful and simply because her heart is nothing short of gold. I have a GREAT MUM…and I don’t just mean that superficially for something to say. I mean I HAVE A GREAT MUM. One of those mums that no matter what has always loved, cared and been there for me..and in fact still is there foe me everyday. Plus, she’s taken Keiran on as her own, which I quite simply adore. #luckyhim #ineversharemymum

But yeah, by now in my 8th month of pregnancy…i should be sprawled on the sofa, pulling faces and zombied out, in pain. Instead and quite weirdly, i’ve been the MOST ACTIVE I have ever been in my entire life. I’ve been up, around, dashing about, running errands, driving the car, wanting to work out, wanting to be outside, I’m productive, i’m organised, but more than anything, i’m active, active, active. Infact, i’ve also wanted to groom a lot more too. I mean, hellooo booty short and big hair…to bed! 🙂 So, I guess i’m having a highly active son. One that is a busy body, who likes ot be into everything, running around and working out and being active…which would mean he’s like Keiran. Plus, he’s into well groomed hoochie girls. Which definitely means he’s like Keiran.

Keiran falls for that stereotypical ‘stripper-chic’ kinda girl. He likes them to be dipped in class and maybe have a bit of dough. But he enjoys a girly girl/glamour puss. The big boobs, fluttery eye lashes, little doll thing. *Rolls eyes.* It’s the Hollywood wink of a girl that he adores. The Playboy type. Well, like all men, he likes all types of women, usually ones that adore him. I’m more ‘just like him’ so he feels like he’s dating himself. It’s different. I represent his ego. But on the whole, he married the ‘glamour puss’ and you always end up marrying the chick that best represents your dream girl. Girls are smarter…we marry for money. 🙂 #joke (I hate that I have to put #joke on the end of my #jokes now, in order not to offend people. *Snooze*)

I actually have a phone interview today, which will be fun trying to do when I have a tranny voice. UGH! Everything always ends up having some tragico Wunna twist in my life. Can’t things just be simple!!!

Life is good. I’m happy, positive and looking forward to pushing out this bambino soon. I’m feeling fit, healthy and delicious and well i’m wishing you a very happy Monday, because as we all know, it never really ever earned it’s title as being the ‘best day of the week.’

I’m on holiday in 14 days! Yay!!!

 

 

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