Hello Mr.Forest!

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I had the most magnificent Mother’s Day. Not only was I surprise greeted by the delicious Baby Ruby with choccies and a card, handwritten by Daddy, but I then was gifted with a precious flower shaped Ruby ring also gifted to me by my yummy glitzy loin fruit. Her pocket money must’ve certainly gone up. 🙂 However, i’m not complaining, any day you recieve precious gems simply for being a great mum, firstly means you’re really lucky….and of course…you’re a great mum. I like being shown appreciation via choccies and Rubies. It works for me. 🙂 I’m easily bought. Then I decided to spend the day with MY MUM, who is literally the GREATEST Mum in the entire world. I always say I got so lucky when it came to the dishing out of ‘mummies.’ I have a mother who sets the example of how all women should be. She’s never ever failed me, always adored me and well if I could be half the woman she is, than I would be the most wonderful human being in this fabulous bit of earth ball. If there’s a day to appreciate the lady who birthed you, then you have t go ahead and join ‘team party.’ We went to Meadowhall and shopped until we dropped. We bought purses and handbags and shoes and well everything in between. It’s not necessarily the ‘buying’ part that is the best part of our day. It’s the fact that we’ve always bonded through life, since me being around 2 years old, via the fine art of shopping. It’s like a tradition. We spend quality time together whilst grabbing things, all sorts of things off shelves, rails and whatnots….glitzy things, sparkly things, useless beautiful bits of girly things…we have no idea what we’re grabbing, or what we’re spending…as the purchasing is kinda something to do as we chitter chatter, love and ‘quality time.’

We then did lunch at ChaoBaby..which is one of favourite places to dine. On the whole…a wonderful day! I love wonderful days as it ozzes you over with a glittery happiness. Nothing beats it. We got home at around 6.30pm. Live felt amazing. However, I AM NEVER WEARING FLATS!

Holy shit. I swear on my life. ‘Bright Idea Sally’ here decides that i’m going to embrace pregnancy and adorn shoes of the FLAT variety for once. Keiran even told me that it was a bad idea. But there I was, stubborn as always, slipping on my ballet pumps.

First of all…I have never felt so short. Second of all, short is shit, if you’re preggo, it makes you waddle like a duckling. THEN not only did it KILL my thighs to the point where I had to buy a a dolly pink handbag to make me feel better, (fyi, great handbag) but i also TRIPPED UP over my own goddamn feet and almost fell on my belly. 🙂 I did one of those open mouthed, shocked faces too…in public…like a dork! Most people would believe it was because I wasn’t use to wearing them. However, i’m going to go with the logical answer, which is the simple fact that God just wants me to wear heels. Some hear voices. I hear Glamour. Ballet pumps can kiss my booty.

Okay, so whilst my shopping glory, as always I decided to buy Keiran a treat. He requested a treat before I went, as he spent the day playing golf, followed by time with his Nan. I bought him golf clothes and thought I’d done a decent job. When i gifted them to him he sort of did a face that suggested I could’ve done a better job. Haha. I always get it wrong. I mean, he wasn’t rude. He did a happy, ‘thank you’ face…yet I know him like the back of my hand…behind the fake smile, he was mildly disappointed. 🙂 I’m good at buying disappointing presents.

Anyway, after my Mothers days lavender oil massage, by my Hubby…who tried to peek at my vagina as I preggo hutched my leg over. Not to be sexy, but to simply move onto my side. Life is hard as a preggo. I went to bed.

This morning when I woke and got Baby Ruby dressed for nursery….he had the cheek to playfully MOAN about his pressie, to the point where I had to call him a snob and put my sunglasses on…which means I mean business. You don’t mess with Wunna in Pink Sunglasses. I got him hundred pound Dunlop golf shirts and he wanted PING gold shirts, or whatever? 🙂 I’ve created a monster. I mean he’s been gifted quite a lot recently and because i’ve felt lovely and felt as though he was stressed, so he’s had pre-birthday holidays booked, golf clothes, dinners…lots…so i playfully gave him a gentle piece of my ‘Diva’ mind. ‘WEAR THEM,’….and like a good boy…he did. 🙂

(I’m currently at Walton Driving Range and it’s ace because the owners are so friendly here. I’m at the bar blogging on my pink laptop and being offered sausage rolls as I type. I love it. Good people they are! I mean anyone who welcomes a preggo faux furred Wunna into their place, as her hubby hits golf balls is a delight. I even went behind the bar this morning and made my own coffee. I’m slowly waking up…I have no idea how Keiran has the energy to literally play golf this early. I love that I’m sat by a tray of sausage rolls.)

Well the GOOD NEWS IS, that I’ve just got a call from Sharn, Keiran’s big sister…which means it’s HOLIDAY TIME FOLKS!! Yep, as you’re struggling through your shitty Monday morning blues 🙂 (nice aren’t I) I’m venturing off to the forest to our relax in our luxury log cabin and bathe in hot tubby bubbles, in the middle of the woods, for my Hubby’s birthday!!! I had to buy that extra big cabin, so I told Keiran that he should invite people. He did! And so, his lovely sister Sharn and no here ever delightful ‘other half’ Phil are travelling down with us, to join in the merriment for a couple days. The more the merrier. Birthdays are funner that way. Plus, they’ll get to see what it’s like, as in April we’re all going for the big family doo-daa. Keiran and I are leaving Baby Ruby with Grandma this time around. 🙁 I already miss her. However, nothing is better to Rubes than nursery and Grandma. So, i’m comforted by the fact that she’ll be getting spoilt.

I can’t remember my last couple days but I do remember having a random conversation about the art of me eating huntsmen, in the woods? Gay Adam reckons i’ll get shot by one in my faux fur. I reckon, he hasn’t hung out with me in so long that he’s actually forgotten how glitzy I am. Huntsmen don’t shoot me. They capture me in the forest and then let me loose with pleasure and simply because they realize that I’m too high maintenance. They’ll be like ‘For fucks sake, let this one go. I’m trying to starve her and keep her in this cage, but she keeps nagging on about her weave and wanting shoes.’

(Sausage roll goes in the mouth.)

Gay Adams got a hypno-gastric band or something. He’s lost 8lbs with it so far, thanks to Paul Mckenna. I sounds great and well i’ll be the first to get one once I’ve popped out my baby son. Much better than running…and much cheaper too! I hope it works with wine? Adam used to always run or go on a deit whenever his love life got shit. So Lord knows whats happened to him in order for him to get a hypno-gastric band. 🙂

Anyway, forget about that! I’m in pink sunglasses and today and  i’m off to the forest a week! Wahoo! {Peace, harmony, luxury, birthday fun and a private hot tub in the forest!)

My sausage roll tray is now being attacked by golfers. Hungry ones, who think they can get away with stealing a pregnant ladies breakfast tray. You can never place sausage meat near guys. I’ve always said the way to their hearst is via their stomachs. One of the Golf Xcel guys…Matt I think, has just tried to mind game me into not eating the sausage meat…and simply so he can have more. ‘I’d be worried if you could eat that entire tray.’ That translates to me as ‘You’re fat. Stop eating.’ I adore it! I need to keep him in a cupboard for when it’s time to lose my baby weight. I’m confident about doing it this time around…because I didn’t find that hard the first time around. It’ll be a breeze, especially with a new Matt in the cupboard.

I truly hope you have a great week. I’ll be blogging from the forest in Sherwood anyhow, so I’ll catch up with you later. We still have groceries and champagne to buy…let alone pack…AND we’re still at the driving range. #jeepers

The first thing i’m gonna do is leap into that hot tub! Gimme! Gimme!

 

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