Happy Easter Folks.



Happy Easter Sunday Everyone! You have my greatest apologies for not finding the time to McBlog over the last few days, yet being ‘Mummy’ has taken over my life…meaning that when you have a 2 year old…it’s all choccie eggs, bunny ears and of course retail therapy.

I have no idea where I left you last, so I’ll just start wherever I feel and simply to catch you up. I hate these ‘catch up’ blogs and because they’re more like a ‘to do’ list in an ‘I did’ form…then a story.

But yeah. Saturday came…shit, i’m lying already. Friday came!! (Friday sooo felt like a Saturday didn’t it.) My delightful bit of genius daughter was off Baby School. My parents weren’t at work. My hubby was ready to challenge Easter weekend with a strut…Therefore we all hopped in our cars to Meadowhall and treated ourselves to ChaoBaby. If you’ve never been to ChaoBaby, YOU NEED TO! We had an amazing lunch and well thanks to my Mama, we delighted in gobbling up fresh foods from the land of Thailand, FOR FREE. Yay! Love my mum.

Keiran and my mum had made a deal, stating that if he came to the luncheon, she would sign up to his new business. (It’s a utilities business, so if you know us and you want cheaper utilities, phone or broadband, my hubbster is your man. 🙂 ) We started off with soups and salads, everyone was filled with happy spirit, Ruby was a treat and then Keiran decided to chance his immune system with red chilli peppers. They made him cry because he is yet to summon his inner Oriental. You can’t chew on chilli peppers from the slaggy part of Asia, like their Fruitella’s if you’re not used to it. I mean, my mum used to give me them when I was 5..for breakfast. But i’m Burmese. She probably fed me our guinea pigs at some point too. However, I enjoy that my lovely hubby will ‘have a go’ at embracing his inner orient, as he now has half a Burmese family and will go on to have a bundle of mixed raced children.

They made him cry and i’m not talking sweaty nose, ‘ooh these are hot.’ I’m talking actually real life unstoppable tears. I was at the buffet looking back, (you do when you’re a mum) and well I saw him having a conversation with my Daddy and out at the same time he was crying out of his right eye. 🙂 The good thing was that he loved it and it was good for him because he had the flu. He sort of had an outer body experience due to the foods spiciness and well as it numbed his system and floated him up to Cloud 9…who needs crack…he came down with a smile on his face and a heart filled with ‘I want to do it again,’ like it was a ride.

Then I let him go watch the rugby as my mum and I danced Ruby around Meadowhal, a place that her heart is far too fond off. She went INSANE. I mean it is obvious that I’d bring upa  shoppaholic, but Rube stakes it to another level. Sort of like Keiran, here excitement gets the better of her and she literally goes bonkers. She tore the Disney shop UP, then The Body Shop, then The Bear Factory..then stopepd off for a raspberry sorbet. Screamed with excitement and purchased ‘Finding Nemo’ Crocs. Okay, now I know that Crocs are sincerely a fashion crime. They should never be worn even at the most blistery times. (Note, that a true glamour puss who has hurty feet will never reveal that her feet hurt. She will simply sip a wine, down a cocktail and get on with the strut like they are two fresh daisies of joy. I’ll never take my shoes off in a club and simply because i don’t want WKD, semen and sin stuck to my kitten feet. I’d rather let them throb and perch my booty on a lap until i’m better.)

But yeah, Nemo Crocs are perfectly acceptable on children. She rocked them like a champion and showed them off like she was Arthur Fonzirelli.

We didn’t leave Meadowhall until 7pm. We shopped that much. I got home, I rested, Ruby passed out and Keiran came home drunk. 🙂

Okay, so there I am sat in a corner of the living room…on the floor because I wanted to stretch out my back and opposite me was my handsome hubby Keiran, sauced up on red wine…and drinking more, under the ‘fuck it, it’s Easter’ flag of glory. A dangerous flag. But who am I to talk. When i’m not pregnant, i’m the same…EVERY NIGHT.

Now, he was happy drunk. A bit mouthy, a bit sweary, a bit jokey, a bit rambly. But a happy drunk. However, he soon began guzzling the wine like a pirate and he slowly deteriorated. Happy drunk wined up Keiran, on the corner sofa, turned into a bit more sweary Keiran, which turned into a Keiran who was a bit more annoying and a bit more demanding, ‘GIVE ME FOOD, I WANT FOOD NOW,’ to odd Keiran, to Old Man Thompson, to joyous drunken sad Keiran, that maybe could’ve shed a few tears. It was hilarious. When he turned upset, I did the loving wife thing and just went straight up to bed without telling him. 🙂 I’m loving, yet i’ve learnt that before things turn into an argument, i need to leave the room…with love. So i did and it was a good decision as in the morning everything went back to normal and we were as happy as can be. 😉 Learning fast. Both of us. I did see that Keiran truly is loving though. He must have gone through a lot of heartache in his life and well i think i’ve made him feel both the happiest he’s ever felt and the saddest he’s ever felt all at once. I’m good like that. He’s used to holding everything in, so a good old weep is just what the doctor ordered. I do it all the time and it works. Plus, he might not of been upset over me and instead over something else…as all he kept saying on repeat was ‘all women are the same. ‘ (When men say that, it means they’ve had a hard time in relationships emotionally.) He did come up with a smart drunken bit of wisdom though and stated that instead of trying to understand women, men should just do as we say. I likey! 🙂

The next day, was filled with love and well I took Ruby to Doncaster for more shopping because she simply hadn’t gotten over how wonderful Meadowhall was. More money spent, more retail therapy successfully achieved. I came home to a very happy and very loved up hubby and it felt great.

This morning Ruby and I layed in until 10.51am. Yes! Even Rubes. Pete was coming to pick her up at 11am, so we had to speed dress and groom. She’s quite the socialite is Ruby so she was eager to ‘get gone’..she danced around gleefully singing ‘I love Daddy Pete,’ like I was some hideous Mother. Lol.

She’s done more in the last few days than most 2 year olds have done in a month.

So today, i have chill day. A break to relax and enjoy time with the hubby. It feels amazing. So roll on Bank Holiday. Life is grand.

Happy Easter Folks.

(Thankfully the catch up blog is over.)



Making Up & Midnight Feasts


Good morning my happy hurls of ‘whiz-bang!’ How ya feeling? We’ve made up and we’re over the moon! I’m in love, he’s in love, the world around is swirling at the rate of Cloud 9, on crack. Wunna land is filled with adoration and well, all it took was letting it go, realizing what’s important and giving him a smile.

I picked Ruby early from nursery yesterday to take her to the Health Visitor, who also informed me that I had a very forward baby, who was working at an advanced rate  30-50 month. It’s crazy!! These visits can go either way with Ruby, as she’s either in a really great showy-offy mood, or she’s ‘Don’t push me Diva.’ Yesterday she excelled with her ‘Look at me’ games of ‘ooh laa.’ She leapt, she danced, she performed and wowed the health visitor like she was auditioning for Britain’s Got Talent. Even I was impressed. She was flash carded and not only did she know each and every animal, she did their noises, their facial impressions and wiggled the way she believed they would. Poor Carol (the health visitor) was in shock and stated that at her age she should be able to JUST string two words together clearly. (Which I don’t believe.) Ruby can ramble on in clear bossy sentences…sing full songs AND have fully blown conversations with adults. My glitzy loin fruit is a champion and I know that I’m being boasty, but you know what, you can’t help but be proud! She’s apparently going to excel in school…and well when you know a genius has come out of my own vagina…you really do feel proud! (A lot worse has ventured out of my ‘hoo-haa’ so let me have this moment.) I’ve birthed a genius….i should get applause. Well done Rubes!

Okay, so Ruby and I got home, cuddled, sang, danced and rejoiced. She was chilling on the sofa with her silver glittered boots down by her side and her big brain resting for the evening and in walked in ‘Handsome Daddy.’ He’d been in Huddersfield all day working his little bum-bum on and well when he sauntered in he was filled with life, kissed his little Asian girls and well everything just went back to normal. I wasn’t mad anymore because I was so impressed with Ruby and Life, that in that moment I knew what mattered. I could’ve carried on being aggro, but instead I opted for being lovely and it worked.

I put Ruby to bed and when i came down, he stopped me in the exact same place that he did in the morning…by the fridge…and said, ‘So are we alright again? I love you so much. More than anything in the world..and…’

I looked into his eyes and he did the eyes that he did at the wedding when he was consumed with love and relief. The eyes that he did when he first saw me. The eyes that he did when we first started talking and went on our first date. The eyes that tinkered at me when I told him he was now officially off the market. That was how I knew he meant it. People’s eyes tell a story and from that point I tangoed right back to ‘fairytale.’

Since that moment we’re been happily inseparable, and I’ve also seen a change in his spirit. He’s now alive again and well him just knowing that I want to be with him forever makes all the difference, as like he said, ‘he didn’t marry  me to get divorced,’ he wants to do forever. Me too…I just keep taking moody, hormonal detours, due to a rather soiled past…and pregnancy. I love blaming things..it really does go with my outfit.

So yes, that night we spent falling in love again…and well even though we both went to bed, we just couldn’t sleep, so at 1.10am, we both sneeky peekied downstairs and decided to have a midnight snack. I made us roast beef sandwiches and we gobbled them down, on the sofa, under blankets, giggled and cuddling, with Pan’s Labyrinth on in the background.

Life is great. I feel loved, adored and on top of the world. I AM going to the forest. I’m happily married and well this morning we’ve both been watching and reading up about that Jodie girl from Leeds, who got a free boob job on the NHS. Terrible isn’t it! I showed Keiran a picture of her boobs, and he took it upon himself to click on the video and watch it. He might have called her a ‘Chav’ but he sure as hell kept watching the video. His eyes were glued.

Don’t worry, i told him off with a ‘You’re not allowed to look at boobs.’ (Please do remember that he promised to not peek at hotter than me girls until I’m thin again. 🙂 )

All’s fair though. We’re happy, we’re chipper and well roll on Easter!

ps. Need to buy Easter stuff today!




A Chink ;) in my Armour


I’m feeling rebellious today *Peels off white support bra, plucks on sequinned nipple tassles,* hence the nudie pic of glory, which I know a small bundle of you don’t always appreciate, yet I do enjoy looking back at my past and plonking up an ‘oldie’ to reminisce the times where I was far naughtier and had a waistline, with no human residing in my belly. Right now i’m 7 months pregnant, (for those of you who don’t know 🙂 ) so I assure you that my body looks nothing like the above. I like to pretend it does though. I’m a waddle and a wink from producing a child, ( a male one, which is scary enough) and I look more like a chinese dumpling…in a weave and heels, then I do kitten of ‘sexy-sexy.’

I’ve had a rough night with ‘The Hubs,’ (as per usual, a round of applause please! Oh and I don’t mean ‘rough’ as in ‘bedroom shuffle.’ I mean ‘rough’ as in ‘shouty.’ 🙂 ) Yet a beautiful night with my glorious baby Ruby, who’s growing up nicely and like she’s the next ‘Sharpee Evans.’  So i’m sort of having to put back the pieces this morning, a moment in life that I refer to as’ re-chinking (appropriate 🙂 ) the armour,’ and well i’m getting back on that stallion. (Clumsily.) Keiran and I argued a lot last night. But it was one of those arguments that will never really go anywhere, but around and around, until it either gets solved, it stops or one of us backs down or kicks the other, with spiked heels.

I’m an idealist when it comes to love and I adore romance, flutters, excitement and magic. When that part of the ‘love’ seems to be fizzling away, I sort of always feel somewhat unfulfilled with my relationship. It’s not anyone’s problem, but my own…I mean that’s why i’ve left so many men, just to find one that can keep up the ‘magic,’ so I always feel wonderful and I always feel impressed. It’s so weird. But I believe it’s a girls prerogative to be the object of a man’s affection. I don’t care what any man says. If all they have to do is put a smile on a girl’s face, then I don’t think that’s too hard a task for them and if it is…well they need a little recap on how to make that magic work, or simply date a girl who doesn’t expect too much from them.

Currently, when i kitty cat explain things to my ‘Handsome’ (be it through tears, smiles or anger,) instead of listening to me, he sort of  just immediately goes on the defensive and chitter chatters at me,  in a delightfully nasty manner. A manner that doesn’t quite go with a pretty face.  But that’s just men because once you accidentally make them feel inadequate, they will throw up their defense wall and attack you from behind it. All big and brave. 🙂 *Rum cocktail here.* I have a fun tongue too…which makes the chitter-chatter, turn yucky.

The difference is…i’m pregnant right now and feel like I need support, emotional support…and I just don’t feel like I’m getting enough from him and it’s because i’m pregnant. All chicks who are 7 months pregnant hate their husband. It’s the rules. 🙂  Google it. And well Keiran has zero experience in dating pregnant women, meaning i’m a distinct shock to his system right now. I was a shock to his system BEFORE i had a bun in the oven. He almost can’t handle it because his argument fell to child-like repetition, where you just repeat a word over and over and over again, VERY LOUDLY in order to make the other person shut up. Just because you’re shouting the loudest doesn’t mean what you’re saying right and putting a word on repeat doesn’t really (lol) express your side of the debate that clearly.

Then he went through an odd phase where he thought my own mother would like him more than me, so he called her to slag me off. I’m her DAUGHTER for crying out loud. You called the wrong Army. My mum’s NOT GOING TO PICK him over me. Lol. Call YOUR MUM, not MY MUM. It was like a circus of utter nonsense.

I think, I’m just  feeling like I need some alone time, some ‘just Ruby & I’ time, before the birth of my second child. It’s a lot for any chica to take on, especially a glamour puss, so i need this time to be harmonious and if he can’t give me that time then he’s actually selfish, because I don’t think shouting at someone who is about to give birth to your child in 8 weeks and has carried him for 7 months, needs to here or put up with ‘yadda-yadda.’ This isn’t the Jeremy Kyle show. It’s much more  low budget, yet far more glamorous and we call it Wunna land here, DARLING. I distinctly don’t like that he tried to make out that I can’t cope without him because if anything, Ruby and I sort of cope better when he’s not around. He has a very distorted image of what I am and who I am, especially because he compared me to someone who I regard as…well…as he called me….’pathetic.’So, if that’s how he views me, then he doesn’t know me at all and that’s something that I don’t likey. It’s hardly like getting serenaded love songs is it? The thing is, it’s not that he even said, he COULDN’T do lovely things for me anymore, it’s the fact that he said he didn’t even WANT TO. *Tut-tut* (Men usually say that when they can’t.)

I’m slowly becoming more and more independent, I’m driving now and I’m loving it. Yet the more independence i’m experiencing, the less I feel that i need any hassle from a man. I think i’m feeling  unappreciated by him right now. (He referred to the log cabin birthday treat that I bought him, as ‘What log cabin treat?’ Meaning he didn’t even regard it enough to remember it, and it only happened a week and a half ago.) I also bought him a couple of golf tops because when I saw them I thought he’d like them. He never does that for me anymore. He never spots something and  thinks, ‘ooh, she’s pregnant, she might like etc…to cheer her up.’

So now, I feel like I do a lot for that boy and it’s not reciprocated nor is it appreciated.Plus, he can actually now do a lot, because I take care of a lot. But  i’ve noticed with men that if you do things for them, they just want more and they forget how much you’ve actually done for them…they take you for granted…and when you’re Chrissie Wunna and you no longer feel as appreciated as you wish to be…then that doesn’t make the cut. So, i’m in a stage now where my Mum wants me to sit back and really weigh up what he invests emotionally, financially and mentally into the relationship. What does he pay, in all of those areas towards his new family, because the way she sees it is that i’m quite the stepping stone for him, because he can only do all the things that he wants to do financially (which don’t involve me)  because I’m taking care of everything else. So the question being, does he actually love me, or is he just here because he has is cushie…for now?

Then I have one of my other friends say,’ Chrissie, you’re just a girl who makes men feel uncomfortable because as always and once again, you are taking away his masculinity, which makes him feel inadequate until he’s back on his feet. You do it will all men. You can sit at home and do nothing, whilst you’re pregnant and still be the breadwinner. That makes him and in fact all men feel like they have a little willy. You have to make a man feel like a man. ‘

Relationships are difficult things to balance out  aren’t they? Especially when you’re a girl of my sort.  But he stopped me in the kitchen this morning and said, ‘Chrissie, you’re not happy because I can’t treat you like a Princess anymore and take you out to dinner etc… (which is true, i did tell him that) well you need money for all that and i’m working really hard right now to try and get a future together, so I can build a life for my family. I’m not on the same wage that I used to be on, but i’m working on it.’ I said nothing because I had far too much to say, which is bad because it stifles me and in any relationship communication is everything. Plus, I don’t think he’s building a future for his family as in Rubes and I. He’s building a future for himself…and his son and anyone else that wants a piece of his wallet.

Anyway, enough of all that, I’m currently watching ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ to cheer me up, as I sip my Earl Grey. I adore rich people drama, for background entertainment. I am actually really happy. I don’t want you to think that I’m not. I’m lucky to be ME! 🙂 Yet, i’m wanting this labour malarky to hurry up, so I can just get back to working and making those good old ‘Wunna’ dreams come true. I want to succeed. I’m a wiggle away from it and well…Wunna Land is a goodie.

It’s currently gently snow falling outside. We can’t have snow for Easter! I need to pack away my bunny ears and pull our my knitted knicker crackers. I actually forgot that it was Easter this Friday onwards. Yet not to worry, i’m a whiz at making Easter work for baby Ruby, In 20 mins, she’ll have everything she needs, in a big old over the top Eastery fashion. I did really used to believe in the Easter bunny and it’s weirdly one of those memories that I keep flash-backing. Why? I have no idea?? Mainly because i’m a tool. But I do remember having this Easter bunny that opened up and when I went to bed, it was empty. By the time I woke up and galloped towards my white dressing table, with a round mirror glued upon it, I opened up my bunny and it was filled with chocolates. I was literally AMAZED and I kinda want Ruby to have that fond feeling of yumminess. Those thrills of excitement make life delicious.

I’m loving life, i’m staying focussed but i’m in thought, as you know how much I adore going to the forest. I’ve  been so many times and loved it. However, now I think that in order for me to have a break of peace, harmony and freedom, i’m going to have to stay home with Ruby and just let Keiran go. Otherwise he’ll never give me that week to myself that I need. When I first booked it, i thought it would be GREAT, but as things are panning out, I think i might need some Wunna time alone with just Rubes and I, when he’s away. I think it’d make me happy. Yet, like I said, i’m still in thought about it all, because i have ages to ponder such a notion. We’ll see.






Sly Eyes, Wunna Land & Releases..

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Morning Chums!!! I literally have a human karate kicking in my belly-welly and  my poor little Baby Ruby has had to spend a moment of her time in the ‘naughty corner’ due to smacking Keiran in the face. I didn’t put her there. I don’t DO the ‘naughty corner’ because I think it’s pointless. Sitting in a corner for a few odd minutes, doesn’t make you want to refrain from hitting the male species in the face when they annoy you, be you 2 or 32. 🙂  It wasn’t long. She was fine. In fact, she dealt with it with swagger, panache and a few fake tears. A champion she is. Even though half way through she looked at me in tears and cutely said, ‘Mama,’ (as she had run out of manipulation techniques to get her out of the corner. ) Then she sort of *blanked* Keiran like he was an idiot. (Been there. 🙂 ) However, i’m sure once they were on the nursery run, she forgave him and let him be ‘Daddy’ again. The thing about Keiran is that he’s charming like me, so you always end up forgiving him, even if you don’t want to. It’s a technique we hope to pass onto our childen.

Anyway, THEN..and so i’ve read on Twitter, Keiran has managed to run out of petrol on his way back from the nursery run, which is typical of any guy really. I mean, they enjoy to run the car down until it’s ‘on red’ then passed being ‘on red’, like they can beat the system or something?

But Nope. The car just ‘middle fingered’ him with a ‘yeah baby, now push me,’ which unfortunately ended up happening. He apparently had to push the car a whole mile to the nearest petrol station, before his golf lesson. (Note, that I only know this from Twitter, as firstly he’d be super stressed because he’s in a rush AND secondly because men fail to inform their wives of things of that nature, in case they get a lecture. 🙂 ) Not that i’m bothered enough to lecture anyone today, but a GIRL or a sensible boy would’ve maybe FILLED UP BEFORE they began the bulk of their journey…especially when there’s a petrol station literally 3 seconds away from our home. 🙂

Yet on the whole, it’s not fun is it…so i feel bad that he had to push the car. No-one wants to be doing that on a Tuesday morning…ever. I’d die if that happened to me. I’d be trying to push it in a mini skirt heels, a faux fur, big hair and diamantes…with maybe a wine in my hand. However, like i’ve always stated, i’m not one for the art of ‘pushing’ things, yet more made for the art of ‘pulling.’ I do find his car pushing experience funny because he is certainly one to  always come out with these random ‘Army’ sayings when he feels the need  to attempt to tell me off. For example…he’ll say ‘Chrissie…Proper Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance.’ PAHAHAHAH. Well i’m not the one pushing the car a mile because i thought I could beat the system. I would’ve filled up, if I thought I might not make it. BOOYAH! *Wiggle-Jiggle-Wink*

Okay, so this morning..i’ve chirply sent my address to Coca Cola, after winning a Marc Jacobs bag last night via my Diet Coke bottle. See! That is an incentive to go on a diet. Every time you cut calories…you get a free designer bag. I like it! I’m not one that has much trouble with the art of weight loss, as i’m usually always running around like a headless chicken in heels, living off cocktails and snacks and in far too much eyeliner. I mean, carrying my weave itself is a work out. So, after i’ve championed the *push-push* and produced a baby boy..i’ll be right back on the slimming front to try and find my waistline. I think i left it with my dignity somewhere.  I’m kind of excited about it all now…which is really quite sick.

THEN, I gave the’ thumbs up’ and a quick edit to a press release that I had emailed over to me for the show that i’m appearing on shortly. I quite enjoy a press release because they always make you sound better than you actually are, like you’re a human of great worth, who should be worshipped by all. So, yeah reading that on a Tuesday morning doesn’t half make you feel good about yourself. I’m strutting around, with my coffee like the peacock of all pride, like I’m Michael Jackson famous or something. I kinda want to to know what everyone else’s says…and because i’m the nosiest of parkers at the best of times. I have sly eyes…yes because i’m Asian, but more because i’m …sly? Yet, it’s all good and well any time you get to be on the telly and ..well all the other stuff that I can’t tell you…it’s great because it makes you feel as though you’ve shuffled up the ladder of greatness that little bit more…whether you have or not.

Life is good…i’m feeling delicious and well i’m eager to no longer be sat on my preggo arse and get the balls a rolling! There’s only so much ‘nesting’ that I can stand to do….something tells me this last few weeks will be the longest weeks of my life! The good thing is that I go on hoilday on April 22nd for a week and well then i’ve got to throw together a Baby Shower, one that I haven’t booked yet for the following days after the holiday.

My Mums just tried to call me to hold a conversation before i’ve had my full coffee fix. Not fun for anyone really. Until i’m fully functioning, there really is no point in attempting the niceties.





Once a Wife…Always a wife…


Happy ‘almost end of the work day.’ Well if you’re reading this you’ve probably clocked off from your tickety-tock, tedious work time of doom, as i’m sure they don’t allow you to read kitty cat blogs as you ponder life from your busy office desk…well unless you’re something ace like a burlesque dancer, where a desk is not of service to you..then i’m sure you’re allowed to have a quick blog read before a nippled tassled shimmie.

I crumbled and as soon as my hubby sauntered in from his afternoon meeting with an ‘i’m starving, are you making me pasta,’ I found myself wiggling on into the kitchen, as I swore i was no longer a slave to domesticity (not that i’m quite that at all…i need a bit more work 🙂 ) and with a pan in my hand, I was cooking him pasta….at his very own loving demand. The only thing I can compare it to, is when you pretend you’re over your ex and you go out drinking promising you’re friends that you no longer give two flying hoots about them anymore and you’re so happy, that you’re having the best time ever. Half an hour later you find yourself hiding in a toilet corner texting them and calling them hoping that they pick up. They don’t…so you have a few more wines and a shot, dance around a little bit, again like you’re the funnest person in the universe…then creep back to the toilet or outside for a cigarette (because you’ve now taken up smoking) and you not only text them one more time, but in your drunken and rather regrettable state, you begin to scroll dial…but this time drunk dial. They don’t pick up and you get all upset because they no longer care, so the vodka makes you redial, redial, redial, redial and then redial some more. 🙂 We’ve all been there. It’s not the mightiest of positions. It was very Hollywood Wunna, until I got all confident and va voomy and realized that I had a little black book of opportunity. But then when i returned to England, came off the telly and dated that hideous Boyband member…it snook up on me again, out of desperation and i was a massive drunken lunatic, who simply just wanted to love. He was an idiot an dnow i look back, i think, why did I ever ever EVER date him. HE was the one punching above his weight, yet he made me believe I was. It’s a trick boys sometimes use to feel powerful. Luckily, I saved myself by weirdly moving back to Yorkshire, pulling myself together and having a baby, along with a marriage to a wonderful man..with a baby on the way and a fairytale that I seem to be living. I Tweeted earlier that if you are dating a guy or girl for that matter, I don’t want to be sexiest (even though I am. GIRLS RULE!) Anyway, yeah  Tweeted that if you’re partner is often still referring to his ex, and doing it quite a lot,be it a memory, a time, a gift, an anything…they still have feelings for them and whilst someone still has feelings for someone else, they can never ever be fully yours. So you should let them go, until they are ready to date. (I have a chick friend going through this right now. I once went on a date with a guy in LA who nonstop talked about his ex-girlfriend who ran out on him all through our FIRST DATE. he talked so much about her that I ended up giving him love life advice, as he CRIED and I do mean LITERALLY CRIED because he missed her so much. LOL.) That used to be my dating luck. So, I also want to underline the fact that you can go through years and years of hoping to find Mr.Right and think you’re never going to find them and out of nowhere, *POP* they’re there, on one knee, with their Knights armour and whole heart ready to love you forever and do it the way you always wanted.

I’m not sure how any of that compares to me making pasta for Keiran, lol…other than the fact that I said I wasn’t going to (as i flung my bra to the heavens in an act of feminism…boys hate that, for those of you ladies trying to pull,) yet found myself doing it anyway out of love. When you’re in love you can’t see the apple of your eye starving. It rubs you up the wrong way or just doesn’t sit right. It’s like the ‘silent treatment’ when all you want to do is chatter. So i guess, no matter whether you’re a rich girl, a poor girl, a sassy girl or a shy girl…a glamour puss or a Jane of the plain variety…once a wifey…always a wifey. He’s the same with me. He’ll stomp around saying this, that and everything inbetween…then fins himself snuggling me like a bunny who needs his little Asian delight, in order to simply get through the day. I guess that’s what love is about. I adore my little bit of handsome and well I just can’t help him. I even fricking bought him salmon for tea, for crying out loud. I drove myself because i’m a big girl now and he was so impressed he said, ‘OMG! I can’t believe I actually have a working wife now.’ He doesn’t mean ‘working’ as in ‘going to work.’ But more the fact that i’m not a broken version. Quoite cheeky of him really, as I think he still has a lot more work to do to get to my idea of the final product 🙂 (Then we watched ‘Millionaire Matchmaker,’ Keiran’s favourite thing, as he has a sick fantasy about either being super dooper rich he can buy worlds if he wanted, so he’s the ideal alpha male, OR weirdly being a rich old cougars Toyboy. I’ll probably see him on the next episode of that show. Today’s was about rich, millionaire women looking for men to love and date. He giggled because he knew if that ever happened, i would scratch him eyes out.)

Okay, Ruby’s on her way home now, so i’m glad i’ve managed to fit in a quick blog. I’ve finally got a press release to edit and I’ve also been asked to be part of a charity single to raise money for abused women. I love a bit of a sing song and well what better way to do it then for charity! So i’ll be popping out a bambino and popping straight into the studio to record the song and film the video.



Good afternoony my delightful wiggles of  ‘Wa-woo-wee,’ hope ya well, hope your life is all a sizzle and especially hope you’re managing to kick the negatory out of your lives, whop on that extra bit of lippy and strut to the merry sound of fabulousity. Today could’ve gone two ways for me…i could’ved opted for the moany verison of myself, who is still devastatingly fabulous, yet a little more high strung. OR I could’ve felt the grumbliness, shook it off and got on with being more positive. I chose to put a smile on my preggo face and simply because if i don’t…i’ll crumble. *Waddle-waddle-wink.* The only thing that placed me in a more than good mood was waking up to Baby Ruby. She is BEAUTIFUL. I mean, when i opened my eyes and saw her juicy almond eyes glaring back at me with a smile, i knew life wasn’t so hideous after all. I’m really lucky to have her. Then my *Bump* decided to kick the living shits out of me out of jealousy. Fun innit. I’m now quite creepy because I can stand and have a normal, decent conversation with a someone and out of nowhere have a giant elbow retreat from my belly, like an alien and shrug it off with an ‘oh well, shit happens.’ *Sips imaginary Malibu pineapple* (I’m sooo craving one because they remind me of holidays. In LA I used to order them all the time. In fact i ordered them so much that everyone I knew began ordering them too, and well i could walk into The Abbey in West Hollywood and have one waiting for me, ready to be freshly sipped by my kitty catty lippies, as soon as i tottered in. I remember that I once ordered an orange juice and the waiter Jamie…just looked into my eyes and said, ‘NO WAY! YOU’RE NOW DEAD TO ME.’ :)) I feel like pregnancy this time around has really restricted me from fun, fun, fun, so i’m having to hold onto the reins and keep my cool, whilst deep breathing in order to not rebel and completely lose my mind once i’m free of waddling. *Breathe here.* Don’t get me wrong, i ADORE the fact that i’ll have a son part, yet the 9 months of pregnancy that a chica has to go through in order to get to that finish line, which is a hideous amount of pain, is rubbish. I don’t like pregnancy at all now. The first time around it was brilliant, because I felt really happy and whole and cared for. Life was easy. Ruby was a preggo breeze.  This time around it’s been horrifical. Lovely! Lovely! *Downs imaginary gin*

Okay, so i’ve decided that I don’t like cooking at all when pregnant and i’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t have to do it for the next 8 weeks. I mean, my hubby should respect that i don’t feel like standing up and slaving away behind a stove for an hour to cook for him, when i have a human living in my belly. (He doesn’t get it.) Yesterday i made a really crappy lunch and i think as long as i despise cooking, my lunches will always be crappy because you do actually have to love doing something in order to do it well. Be it boys, bacon butties, parenting or…well i’ll let you fill in the blanks.

Luckily and like The God had answered my prayer, something briefly terribly happened and after making my rubbish pasta meal, i accidentally left the gas running out the stove and had no clue. Apparently it’s deathly and can end up killing people. I smelt nothing and felt nothing. Yet Keiran said he could smell something, then he could taste fuel, followed by the dramatics of having hurty eyes, a headache and a racing heart. He had more symptoms of dying from accidental gas poisioning once he realized the gas has been left on. 🙂

He turned it off immediately and opened the doors to air it out, which I appreciate as of course I’m a Mummy and if anything happened to Baby Ruby (who wasn’t home at this point, my heart would be broken) so i’m glad he found it and saved us. Yet the dramatics of it were hilarious. So, i managed to turn the hideous accident into a positive, whilst he was telling me how his heart was racing from death and stated that it was an obvious sign from God that I shouldn’t have to cook anymore because i’m dangerous. You’d think he’d agree…but no, he didn’t like it one bit. But I believe in SAFETY FIRST now, 🙂 so yeah, that’s me out of the kitchen for a while, as i’d hate for something like that to happen again. 🙂 *Wiggle-wink* When i become a ‘Real Housewives’ housewife, then i’ll decide to cook dinners and do chores, because my husband will then be bringing home millions that i’m grateful for. However, until then…no cooking love. If I make the millions…which I would very much enjoy…then i’m hiring a chef.

If anything i need to make sure I remember not to watch ‘Teen Mom.’ I love the show, yet when you’re pregnant you fool yourself into believing that you ARE a struggling, teenager with a newborn…with various bits of love life drama, instead of a 32 year old stable mum with a happy 2 year old and loving husband. I absorbed it like a champion yesterday and well it made me think of parenting and the way people raise their children. Of course, each and every parent has the right to bring up their child the way they themselves see fit, provided they aren’t abusing them. yet, i don’t get why parents who are 20 something, if not more years older than their tiny kiddie, that they created out of love have no patience for them? How can someone with the developed brain of a 2 year old or 4 year old out wit them and frustrate them? Lol

Like you see these women in town ragging around their children and shouting at them sternly in public, or shoving them, with threats and I’m like…adults don’t like it when that happens TO THEM. We hate to be shoved, threated or violated in order to listen to the commands of others, so why raise your child to believe that issues get resolved via threats and violence.

I’m a  lovey dovey mummy and I practice the ‘logic an love’ approach and it’s weird to me how adults or other parents see that and think it’s weak, or that you’re not being stern enough? There’s not spanking in my house, no shouting and I disallow threats to a child. I champion understanding, communication and doing it with a smile. My mum and dad never raised me roughly at all. Mt dad has never raised his voice to me ever in his entire life and we get on better than most Daddy/Daughters. However, he just says how people raise their children usually mirror how they were raised and how it made them feel. To me Ruby isn’t even an inch naughty enough to have done anything in her life that would cause me to be concerned or so angry that i can’t handle her. I understand her completely, i get why she’s stropping, when she’s stropping…and i do because she is ME. Meaning I know exactly where she’s coming from and what she needs. If you adore you’re little girl, they won’t ‘Madam’ you out, instead they’ll adore you right back. Why punish a  little child, just because YOU can’t cope? It’s wrong. Put the wine down. Learn patience. I mean your child is something you brought into this world out of love. It’s a piece of you that you should love to nurture.

Preach over.

On the whole life is great. I’m waiting for the telly shows to come out and i’m nesting for the birth of my sonny son son. I’m beginning to want to be glammy and i’m excited to feel divine again and fit into itty bitty skirts, with a wink and heels.

I’m kinda in the mood to be adored today and to do something nice. Keiran’s wandered off to his Uncles for the afternoon and well he’s taken the Mercedes so now I can’t really go anywhere. Ugh!

But i’m delighting in all that I have, all that is about to happen to me and excited about the future. I WILL TELL YOU that I actually for the first time ever watched the Formula 1 race yesterday and HOLY MOLY is was actually really exciting. Keiran and I watched it on the sofa and I got really into it. It was fast, exhilarating, filled with fun, unhealthy competition and sweat. I thoroughly enjoyed it…so i could actually get into it all. Footballs still not my thing and because well being a previous glamour model, you know pretty much all of them from the boys wasting their time attempting to woo you with photos of their cars. #truestory So, i’m not keen on watching ex-boyfriends or my friends ex-boyfriends kick leather balls around for dollar. But racing…I ADORE and I especially adore seeing brief clips of Pussy Cat Doll Nicole watching Lewis from her box. Keiran was like ‘SEE, she goes and does things with her hubby.’ (And that’s because I usually refuse because I don’t like the same things as Keiran. I’m not a party girl anymore and i’m not a festival girl and I’m not an anything that i don’t find luxurious kinda girl.)

I think his statement was a bit silly, as of course the different is her boy-toy is one of the worlds best racing car drivers….so she went to support him and watch him..like any wifey, or girlfriend would do. I mean, i’d go watch Keiran if he was in the Formula 1 race. Of course I would. I mean, i go watch him play  golf for crying out loud and that’s not a giant international exciting car race. It’s a bench in Walton, Wakefield. 🙂  But I love to support him when he’s doing things that are  productive. It’s attractive to women when you have a man that actually excels at something wonderful, rather than a boy who is able to do a spikey hair do and get fucked up in local bars, in a tight t-shirt. Keiran’s a man who wants to do well and will do well. But i’m also a girl of the same caliber. Once this baby is out…there is NO STOPPING ME.

Watch this space!






Saturday of Filming, Bad Faces and Being Ouchy



Okay, so yesterday was a day of travelling to London for a quick bit of photo shooting and a day of filming. A day that I was excited about and simply because I had missed ‘da ladies’ and wanted to have a good old chin wag with them all. It’s weird that we all get along the way that we do…but we do and i’m not going to sugar coat it and pretend as though some of us don’t get along better with certain members of the group, more than others…as of course that’s going to happen. But it works, it’s a well cast show and if anything we sort of have a bizarre respect for one another and what each person represents.

I actually woke up the morning of the final shoot and found myself completely snowed into my house. Yet luckily, I have ‘Army Keiran’ for a hubby, meaning no job is too touch or too tricky for him to conquer. I breezed to Westgate train station and got on the 10.16am with 4 minutes to spare. Then I sat next to a girl who kept eating a mixture of salt and vinegar crisps and Mini Eggs. Now…i like both. However, quite bizarrely and probably down to my new preggo-senses…I didn’t enjoy the distinct pong of them yesterday before 11am. I did what any Glamour Puss would do in such a pickle and smile, nod, pretend it doesn’t bother me…then order an egg sandwich and a coffee, to make myself feel better.

Easy journey. I was happy all the way. The weather was simply frightful. I mean, I began my trip with big, bouncy kitten hair and ended up looking like i had been swirled down a plug hole or two, for can-can kicks. The train was meant to be on a 20 minute delay due to the heavy snow, however, The Gods were on my side and well got my train in EARLY. Wowsers! So, i tottered off the train and onto my Kings Cross platform to leave the station and get into a taxi, as women snarled at me and gave me funny looks. (I was 7 months pregnant and dressed in a big furry coat, knee high boots and leopard print dress…in the snow. I deserved the snarls. Yet, to be honest…snarling is only for the wicked.)

Cabbie was lovely. I was getting excited to see the girls. I got to Waterloo film studios…in a beautiful snowfall and in record time and I was escorted in a cute, sort of old school dark green room, filled with snacks, sofa and warm lighting…as ‘Thrift Shop’ played in the background on a plasma.

Now, I don’t travel ANYWHERE without my full face on. I just don’t and it’s the art of being a Glamour Puss…and well the fact that i’m so used to the old morning groom, thanks to growing up in Hollywood, that to me…too much bronzer, giant eyelashes,a  tan, and a big eye lining bonanza, with pouty lips, is normal in Wunna land. It’s very ‘everyday’ and it occurs every morning, as part of my routine. Yet the most important thing about it, is that I ADORE IT. I simply LOVE LOVE LOVE the art of the groom and enjoy the way i look.

SOOOOOOO…it was horrific for me to have to go through the torture of ‘hair and makeup’ before the shoot. Now, i’ve been a glamour model and i’ve had a LOT of people do my face, my hair, my everything…all over the world, all over the land. Some have done it wonderfully, some have done it rubbish and other’s have done it intelligently. 🙂

Now, I love having my hair done, but HATE having my face done, if I don’t know who’s doing my face..and to me, that’s really normal, because people usually choose their own people to do their face and those people are chosen on the basis of how well they represent the individual. In fact, now i think about it, all the people i know in entertainment, both here and the UK, have their own personal person do their face…and no-one else. Meaning i would rather do my own face or pay for someone, out of my own pocket that I personally chose to do my face and let a company save money.

I had to go through ‘hair and makeup’ and well it was AWFUL! Everyone had pretty much been in apart from 2 of us..and we were the last two to venture into the seats and to be honest everyone else’s faces looked divine. However, Fran and I have really distinct, yet different looks. It’s specific and it’s the way we love to do our faces up. Plus, we’re ethnic. 🙂 So, when i’m sat on the chair, being told to scrub my face off, I don’t want to hear, ‘Oh gosh, i’ve forgotten to bring all the right foundation colours for people of your tone, so i’m gonna have to put this colour on you…i mean, it doesn’t matter, it’ll be fine, it’s a bit too white, but you’ll look more oriental.’ ERM…!!! (I had my own foundation in my bag, that has specifically been matched up to my skin tone. Why not use that??)

THEN…she pulled my eyelashes off. Which i don’t mind. Mine are too big and fake anyway. So that part was fine. But she forgot how to put her version of eyelashes back on…and wanted to plonk some on my bottom lashes too? One of the producers walked in and informed the makeup ladies that they were going too slow and we needed to get a move on, so my makeup lady panicked and with a ‘we’re going as quick as we can,’ (even though no quickness seemed to be happening) she said, ‘Oh i don’t really have time to finish this off properly so is it okay if I just powder you down and put a black flick across the top of your eyeline, for speed.’ WHAT? NO! Do it PROPERLY. And they did they did the same to Fran too. Apparently for some reason she wasn’t allowed to have her hair straight…she ended up with it straight after kicking off and well too right, it made no different to the shoot or the filming. Fran looked at me at one point, as we sat next to each other in our makeup room of doom, after I had told the lady that I didn’t feel anything like myself, that i looked too pure and that it looked as though The Good Lord Jesus Christ impregnated me himself, and said, ‘it’s not that i don’t like it, i’m just used to seeing you all glamour pussy, with big hair, tan and pouty lips…’

I looked awful. I looked whited out because she forgot to bring warm toned foundations, because she didn’t realize i was coming in. (Not good.) And all i had was a black flick across the top of my eye because she didn’t have time to fully finish my face. She even said, ‘Will that do?’ I nodded, smiled, told her I didn’t feel like myself and walked out the room, where i bronzed and eyelined a bit, behind her back. I still looked rubbish though and hated it. I mean, i personally think that for a project of this sort, where we’re not specific characters, but ourselves…we should be able to have our faces the way WE WOULD usually have them. It’s how we represent ourselves and is a very personal thing. How you rock up to anything matters and I get it, if the show was about being ‘natural’ or even makeup, or a playing a character of that manner. But it’s not and i’m ‘playing’  MYSELF. I love that Hollywood dipped, Glammy Pammy look. Gimme Gimme!

I mean this guy out in LA who does the faces of the rich and famous told me that it was all about knowing the face you were doing, what they represented and making sure they felt comfortable with what you were doing, as that is what works and gets the best out of the client. People perform better when they feel secure with what you’ve done to their face. So it might have looked nice, or it might have been okay, but I  like it and i didn’t like it because it was nothing like ME. It didn’t represent me at all. I mean the girls were lovely and kept telling me I looked nice, yet nothing like I normally look. Which is the whole point. I’m not a plain girl, nor am I a simple girl…and my face said exactly that and because the makeup lady wanted me to look less ‘Va voom’ and more everyday oriental. (I AM oriental…you can’t look more oriental than that. 🙂  I looked like a Chinese mail order bride, or a lady about to serve egg rolls for a $1. It was annoying because it’s not like I represent that in the show, and well she did me how she wanted to do me, in a rush…and didn’t do ‘ME’ at all and i don’t buy, ‘it’s for the HD camera’ because i’ve done a HD camera LOTS…and still had the right time and colours put on me. I was not happy…but got on with it anyway. I shot, filmed and hated my face. Then when it was time to go i felt alive again, as i got to put my actual face BACK ON! THANK THE LORD. I felt comforted by it ans because that how I see me everyday.

The good thing about it was that I was able to watch Emily knitted in the corner at the same time. I ADORE a girl that can knit, because I actually do think it’s a wonderful skill to have, a skill that I don’t possess, yet certainly appreciate in others. I mean Ems has really got her ‘ooh laa’ on right now, she’s given up sex for Lent…(I like that,) she’s still seXY, but now bakes, knits and can do all the housework..PLUS she’s also not selling herself short. She’s currently what i think a ‘man’s dream’ is. It’s great!! She told me all about a date that she’s going on with a gent who sounds delightful. AND she showed me a scarf that she had knitted herself. Very impressed. In fact, I think because her date (who is taking her to dinner…and is a jewellery designer by trade) is designing, creating and bringing her a custom made piece of personal jewellery (very impressive) she is knitting him a little ‘something,’ to ‘Kapow’ right back at him. It’s romantic and lovely and well i hope it all goes well. I enjoy thoughtfulness. I enjoy the art of wooing.


Anyway, i’m having a chill day today. My entire body is ouchy from all the travel. I really really really really need a massage. I’ve never needed one more. Yet as lovely as my hubby is, he forgets to remember that i’m 7 months pregnant and instead of aiding my ouchy legs and back, would prefer ME to rub or tickle HIS ‘not carrying a giant baby in his belly’ back and legs. When I was pregnant with Rubes I got a massage every other day and i felt amazing. My pregnancy was a breeze towards to the end. This time around it’s been really difficult, emotionally, mentally and physically…and because less body, mind and soul pampering has occurred. It’s sort of put me off having babies. But i’m happy and grateful to be having this one. Yet for anymore to occur…a great deal of convincing would have to go down.

Today, i am ouchy and i just need a bit of TLC. I can’t move my back and legs (sexy)…and this satsuma isn’t working? I have no idea why i thought eating a satsuma would work?





Birthday’s, Snow Driving & Good Old family Love


Morning all! How are you all feeling today! Happy? Rough? Bored? Excited? In love? Down? Or simply deliciously divine? (I always go for the last option…because when in doubt, if you strut like you know what you’re doing with a hair flick and a hip bump, you always win the war.)

SO, lots has happened. I keep missing the moment to blog, because i’m in the stage where i’m having to live life in order to have a blog, in the first place. But yesterday was my yummy little hubby’s 29th birthday! I mean, he’s getting old now for a toyboy 😉 but I love him all the same. In fact the older he’s getting the more attractive he’s becoming. As silly as it sounds and because we’ve been through so much together, some of it you’ve read about via my blog, been a part of…via our lives….or watched from a far. But yes…we’ve been through a great deal and we’ve never been more in love. I think because we’re so similiar and we both went through a massive life change at the same time that all we had were each other to hold on to and in life I always thought you could go it solo. I mean I did. The Hollywood version of me and the ‘Back to Britain’ part of me managed it like a champion. I romanced a few and enjoyed life…i went from the chilly moors of Yorkshire as a little girl, to partying with Leonardo Di Caprio and booty shaking with Paris Hilton as a 20 something, followed by marrying movie stars….having to divorce them and having the best friends i could possible imagine in my perfect life of tinsel. But, let me tell you… I have never really been happier than I am now. I have a wonderful family, a great birth family, a beautiful daughter and a little son on the way. Yet being able to look to my left and see that I have my ‘life soldier’ gripping onto my hand, just as hard as I am gripping his….means the world to me and because that ‘life soldier’ is the man of my dreams. We’re facing the world together and we’re gonna get the result that we want out of life. (God, i love my weave right now. It’s making me feel all ‘diva.’)

Okay, so yesterday, like I said was Keiran’s birthday. I’ve now seen him through 2 birthdays and well it was lovely to just share it with him. I loved going away to the forest cabin and I adored the little gifts he got on his actual birthday. I mean, the evening before I was knackered, but I waited until he had gone to bed and made sure Ruby was fast asleep then I madly whopped out a few champagne bottles, a few wrapped presents, blew up baloonns, got streamers, candles and party poppers ready, bought new champagne flutes and had the cakes made ready to plonk out in the morning. It actually took ages because i’ve lost my swagger now that i’m 7 months pregnant. In 8 weeks i’m giving BIRTH. I mean, HOLY MOLY! Hanging banners isn’t that easy with a kicky bump and a waddle. I couldn’t even believe that I managed to do this sober. But I did. I flung everything off his office desk and displayed more appropriate things in their place. Not fun for Keiran really, as he totally has OCD. (Even though he denies it.) In fact, to be honest he doesn’t really have it now. But he did when I first met him, yet probably because he was more broken then. Now he’s whole.


When he woke up he was greeted to a birthday office desk of Wunna ‘Happy 29th’ Birthday fun! (OUCHY MY BUMP IS KICKY TODAY.) It was just little, but it was cute. He got golf treats, money, golf lessons, booze, choccies, cabin trip away and bits and bobs. BUT I wanted to take him out to lunch to a yummy champagne bar where we could’ve dined on the finest foods and celebrated his b-day all a poshy. Yet he had scheduled all these work meetings in from 12 noon to 7pm…meaning i had no booking space to even treat him! I hated that because I always want to go over the top on someones birthday and not only did i feel like I couldn’t….but I didn’t.

Instead, we sauntered into Wakey and I helped him with his errands. Lol. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🙂 I was his ‘Robin’ for the day. I prefer to be a ‘Batman,’ well one that doesn’t have to save the world or do anything too strenuous in bat ears. I’m far too ‘kitten’ for that. Keiran loves me being his ‘Robin.’ He is certainly a man that would like to be the head of the household. I don’t mind that because i’m a diva…yes…but there’s nothing more cutest than being able to play the girl’s role…especially when I do it so well.

Anyway, he ran around doing his meetings, i did the errands he couldn’t do. I was weirdly way popular yesterday, as I got stopped 3 times with an ‘Are you off the telly?’ Which you know I adore. However, I did then accidentally meet a little Chinese lady, who tried to sell me dimanate earrings who said that she knew someone that could be my new child carer for some crazy bargain price. I nodded and smiled and thanked her for her help. Her 4 year old son had a snotty nose and kept rummaging through my handbag. 🙂 I knew it was safe though, as Asian’s don’t pick pocket from Asians. You’ve seen all the Ninja movies…i don’t need to tell you why. 😉  I explained that Ruby is fine where she is and yeah where she goes does cost quite a bundle of funds, but when it comes to the safety and education of your child, you kinda don’t mind the costs so much. I don’t want a bargain. I’ll pay what it takes to keep her safe, happy and learning. I bought the earrings…:) I can’t help it. I love all bling..be it cheap, expensive for someone elses.

Okay, so Keiran picked me up, as he found me mid waddling around time and instead of doing the bouji lunch, he opted for us going to visit his nan’s…which I love because nothing is more important than family. They are the people who really care and they care FAR MORE than your friends. Plus, it’s his birthday so he can do whatever he wished with his time.

We had a lovely afternoon, filled with comfort and love. To be honest, after about an hour things began to turn pear shaped for Keiran. You know when you have one of those days where things just start to go wrong, in a domino effect. Well yeah…that happened. He was stressed and you could see it in him. He was misted over with it. It consumed him. I mean i don’t know you or what he met during his meeting, but it certainly misted his positive glow and he caught a case of the dodgy luck on transit from his leaving me to going to chill at his nans. You’re a product of your mind and environment and the manner of others can throw you. So yeah, it all went down hill and he needed a wine at the end of the day.

When we got home, we picked up our very tired Baby Ruby and chilled at home for a couple hours before heading out to his birthday dinner at Aagrah. We had an 8.30pm table and well my Mum and Dad treated him ..well us all…to birthday dinner. My parents treat Keiran like he is their own son and well whenever they can splurge on him…they do. Especially my Mum. We’re close to the Aagrah family. They love having us at their restaurants and we love dining their. We were greeted warmly by the owners son, who was so happy to have us back.

Even though we were tired, we made the effort to shake of negativity, laugh in the face of danger and positively enjoy life, the evening and the rest of the day. We refused to let a string of bad luck give us a case of the blues. Instead we searched for the positive and dined on fine Indian cuisine.

We were one of the last tables there, as the place was closing by the time we got our desserts. It all ended with a sparkly pudding and a bit of a birthday sing song. Keiran was knackered, bless him. Yet was determined to get through the evening. Ruby was busy shouting at her mirror image and well the rest of us were just stuffing our faces.


Soon it was time to go home and well as soon as we did Ruby impressed ‘Daddy Keiran’ so much with her lovey doviness that he fell straight to sleep with his last birthday words being ‘Ruby, you have absolutely MADE my day.’ She laid next to him cuddling him and telling him how much she loved him and that she wanted to snuggle with him all night. It made him feel whole again, loved and like life was worth it, all because something so pure was delighted by him.

No matter what, it was a good way to end his night.

Then we all woke up at the crack of dawn, to get him to work, He’s working in Derby today and well i was in charge of driving him in the snow to the train station. In the past two days i’ve driven twice, which is more than I have driven in the last 2 years. He was nervous that I was going to attempt a drive, as was my mum, but I DID IT. I trundled through the dodgy snow and dropped him off. He missed his train. Two of them. 🙂 Yet finally caught the third with only 30 seconds to spare. 🙂 🙂 I’m that good a driver. I actually felt really bad. Nothing is worse than missing trains and having to rush for them. Then to add to the joys, I noticed I had a missed call from him so called him back half an hour later. It made him miss his NEXT TRAIN, (oopsie) that he actually ended up having to wait an hour for the next one. He wasn’t that pleased. I am mayhem.

Then I did the snowy nursery run and well let me tell you, i’m quite liking this driving malarky. I feel all independent and free. In fact, now i don’t even know how I’ve survived by not using my driving skills. My Mum is a worry-wart and didn’t want me to do it, because i’m pregnant and apparently dangerous. So i did it anyway. I mean you can only learn to gallop if you flipping get back up on that horse. I love being able to zoom off somewhere, if I need to…even if it’s all snowy and shit.

I got home and decided to throw things out. Throwing things out always makes me feel better. I’m really good at it and because i don’t really have too much of an attachment to material things. I can purchase them and lob them out with a happy wink of ease. So i did. The bin’s full. It felt good to free myself of clutter. But i hate the dryer not working. I mean, i’m not one for hanging things over a door, or draping them over a radiator. I like quick, easy drying fun.

So, i’ve decided to do a bit of cleaning up, out of feeling free and loving it. I’ve a lot to do, but whatever…i’ll get some of it done. I mean, I can’t wait to get back to work after our baby bump is born. I enjoy the art of making money and well there’s only so much sitting at home a chick can do.

There was a point to the morning where I just felt ‘ugh’ and like I needed a holiday. THEN I realized that in exactly 4 weeks, I WILL be on HOLIDAY! YIPPPEEE! We’re back to the forest on April 22nd, so if i could just get through 4 weeks and well weirdly this time around, the weeks are flying by because i’m pregnant. I have no idea why? The first time with Ruby is seemed to take forever.

I’ve just got back from the forest and 5 days of hotel nights, so i’m super happy to be going back in 4 weeks…and this time with the whole of Keiran’s family…AND Rubes. However, I will tell you that i’m going to have to celotape my private part shut, as i’m in utter fear of going into labour in the forest. I’d be most disappointed. Keiran’s thinks there isn’t a better place for me to go into labour. Oh yeah! That sounds great to me. NOT!! NO DRUGS, LEGS OPEN AND PUSH BY TREES!!!! I think not. But if it happens…it happens. I’ll be like ‘Welcome Son.’ 🙂

More importantly, I don’t want to jiggy into labour because I want my mum to be near me. When you have babies, you need your Mum more than ever. I can’t wait to see what my little son will look like. We’re all excited. Including Rubes. It will be the most wonderful day ever…for us all! A new addition to the family and well i’ve only known Keiran for around 18 months. 🙂

Other than all that, I’m filming tomorrow in London. I’m headed to a studio for a bit of Central London filming. I’m preggo massive, so I’ll look hideous. I always look hideous when it comes to promo shot times. It’s all for the show that i’m should be coming out shortly…and well…i started it all off thin, glam and sexy…then ended it 7 months pregnant. HAHAHA. That’s one way to do it.

My train’s at 10.16 from Wakefield, so at least it’s not too bad.

PLUS, good friends Emma and Goodhall are having a small get together shortly for close friends and family to celebrate their union..they’ve invited Keiran and I because we hold ourselves responsible for their engagement 🙂 and well they hold themselves responsible for our upcoming son! We’re both really excited to see them again and celebrate, so it will be marvellous. Plus, we get to shimmie around their new beautiful ‘makes us very jealous’ home.

Good times! When I look at my life and see that i have so many wonderful things happening to me, the tv shows, the baby, the love…and well i just couldn’t be more grateful for it all. I just now need to bundle it up and rocket it to the skies to make the mark I want for myself and my family. Gimme! Gimme!





Annnnd…we have HEAT!!!!



OMG!!!!! And we finally have HEAT!!! Thank the GOOD flippin’ LORD! I think i’m in love with the boiler man. He swanned in with his tool box, with a modest ‘I’ll see what I can do…’ and an hour later, avec a wee bit of fiddly-diddly…i felt it. I FELT THE WARMTH!! Yipppeeee!

I immediately called Keiran, to report the good news! I mean, I had called him earlier when the boiler man initially arrived on command and the first thing he asked was ‘Did you check his ID??’ I smiled (which doesn’t work down the phone 🙂 ) and said ‘Yes.’

He responded immediately with an ‘OMG! Why are you LYING!!’ HAHAHA. He’s with his Grandad so he’s having to be cutesy wootsey with me, over the phone. But as if HE checks for their ID. Hence why he knew I hadn’t. 🙂

So, it turns out there was no spare part needed…GREAT! Meaning all that hotel money was for nothing. Wonderful! The new boiler man from a completely different company, saunters in, sorts its out in an hour and wham-bam…i’m sitting in a warming up living room and I’ve never felt better! I have HEAT! I’m SO HAPPY! I need to celebrate…but my shimmie is a waddle and my waddle is a bit ouchie right now! SO HAPPY!

I have potential heat swirling around me and i’ve never been so excited! I mean because the house has been left stood for 2 weeks in the cold it will take about 2 hours to fully sizzle up…but i’ve cranked up the dial and i’m chipper about the whole shindig. I’m happy dancing. I can do the washing. I can turn on the tap. I can have a shower. I can sit in the house without a fur on…AND both my hubby and Baby Ruby will be all smiles once more. Works out well with it being Keiran’s birthday tomorrow. At least now I can concentrate on sorting out his birthday, and enjoy it, instead of pulling faces in cold corners or checking out of hotels. In fact, the funny thing was that I was actually going to book a bouji hotel for his birthday night, because i had already taken him away to the forest cabin for a week previous. Yet now, i don’t think a hotel night is that special. Lol.

But i have a few tricks up my sleeve for him as always. Last year I took him away on holiday, had trumpet players arrive and fanfare him ‘Happy Birthday’ in our garden. I then had a barber shop choir turn up and sing to him, after a champagne breakfast, followed by a massage, followed by a champagne lunchy….plus gifts. Little gifts.

This year and because i’ve taken him away i’m going to get him what he wanted, plus add little bit of ‘more-more to his list. But i’ll have to keep it a secret, incase he just so happens to read this blog. To be honest, he actually might be in London tomorrow working…I don’t even know yet. So i might have to hold off…until I know for sure. But still…birthday’s are always fun. He always thinks everyone will forget his birthday. I never do. The day anyone’s born is MASSIVE.

Anyway, just a quick blog to inform you that I have heat. There’s meant to be some kind of moral to the story i’m sure. But what i’ve learnt is that, hotels rock when your boiler breaks down, so have savings or a rich folk to take care of you, incase this happens, because when it does, you might need to check in for a bit of ‘get warm quick’ luxury. 🙂

God! Our little family….we have such stories!

ps/ I love that I banned Keiran from using his eyes on other women who are in thongs, hotter than me or fit, until I’m thin again. 🙂 Wunna Land rocks. I literally sat with my hands over his eyes, during a bikini line on Dragons Den two nights ago. 🙂 The cute thing is that he loves it…he laughs and then asks me why? I responded with an ‘Oh…because I feel fat, preggo and insecure right now.’ (Quite an expressive little kitty cat arent I. 🙂 ) He agreed to it..with a ‘You’re my wife and i’ll do anything I can to make you feel secure whilst you’re carrying my son,’ AWWWWWWWW….how cute!!!! A major swoon-fest and that night…regardless…I loved him that little bit more.


Bouji Hotel Nights & Men of the Boiler Kind

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Okay, so I’ve just checked out of a deliciously warm hotel, equipped with free swimming pool, gym, spa and restaurant to get home in time (in the falling snow) for the boiler man, meaning that…if he doesn’t arrive TODAY and at the same time FIX MY BOILER BY TODAY then I’m going to throw a giant Wunna-Wobbly and it’s not going to be pretty! I don’t get tugged out of warmth and luxury for nothing, so i’m not wanting to hear Mr.Excuse this…Mrs.Excuse that, this morning, as I’m bundled up, sat on my rug, by a tiny ‘not very warm’ electric heater, in the freezing cold and weave. My ears will ONLY WORK to the pretty sound of ‘Sorry Mrs.Thompson for the wait. It’s FIXED.’

Saying that, we haven’t had it bad at all really. Like I said, we went away on holiday to the forest, were we enjoyed Keiran’s birthday retreat and private hot tubbing, only to get back and have a busted boiler. We were told it would get fixed that day. They couldn’t do it, due to a missing part. I hate missing parts. They seem to get in the way of everything. Never in my life usually, but in everyone else’s…it’s an issue. Have then not learnt to wing it with a wine?

Long story short, we ended up in a hotel. Which was lovely. I mean, Ruby and Keiran delighted in it…as did my bump. Plus, we figured by Saturday the next day…we’d have heat at home. But OH NO. The Good Lord middle fingered us…and not even up the rudey…and the boiler man returned to fiddle around and inform us that he still couldn’t fix it and we needed to wait until Monday!

Still shitty, but not a problem. We attempted to bare the cold and then went with ‘fuck it, we’re too bouji for this,’ and checked the entire family into a hotel again for another night. I mean, i’m exotic, I was born to be around warmth and ‘ooh laa,’ as is Rubes…and well since Keiran has been with me, he has definite now got a distinct need for luxury, so even HE and his former Army self couldn’t deal with the cold. Hotelling was great! It was getting a bit pricey now. But it was still great. We enjoyed every second of it and pretty much went on with our lives, he did golf, I did a weave, Ruby did nursery etc…However, Monday came and by now we had done Friday, Saturday AND Sunday in a hotel…so we’re loving hotel nights, as since being on holiday we hadn’t really been home and living out of bags is not always as lovely as you want it to be…even if you have a free spa. But yeah, sorry, got distracted…it’s cold in here. Monday came…and the boiler man didn’t even show up, after we had checked out EARLY and needed to reschedule for either WEDNESDAY (which is today) or this lovely time of life that people seem to label as ‘i’m not sure when, but as soon as he can.’ UGH!

Now, yesterday my Mum surprise booked us a giant family room at a nearby hotel. The evening before we had stayed at our local hotel Rogerthorpe Manor and enjoyed s steak dinner with The Wunna family. (My Mum feels bad for us, because we’re waddling around from hotel room, to hotel room. It’s bizarre because you feel half bouji and half hillbilly, all at the same time.) But yesterday my Mum booked us a giant family room, equipped with sapce, three beds, a giant bathroom, a free swimming pool, gym and spa AND a an open credit card tab with the hotel for Keiran, Ruby and I to use as we wished, for dinners etc….She wanted us to really enjoy a bit of hotelling and well believed it was our last night of moving around, as we might as well have a bit more luxury than usual. We ran our errands. Keiran played a bit of golf, we picked Baby Ruby up form nursery early and we drove down to the hotel early, to check in, unpack, relax and enjoy the spa. We finally felt adored and immersed in ‘ooh laa.’ Rubes had room to run around, we all delighted in the pool, water slides, steam rooms…etc…Keiran worked, I spent time with my glitzy loin fruit, (who now adores hotels so much that she doesn’t want to go to nursery. Breakfast to her, is now sitting in a restaurant with a bunch of business men or families at a table being served by wait staff and being told that she’s a beauty.) Lord knows what she’ll be like tonight when we pick her up…and she finds out she’s actually going home. This boiler man better come, as all of us didn’t want to get up this morning and instead wanted to cuddle up in bed all morning and slowly ease into our Wednesday.

I opened the curtains this morning and saw that it was snowing. GREAT! Just what I need when I’m about to wait for the boiler man at home. I mean for the amount of money that has been spent on hotels so far (and we’ve stayed in one for 5 days running) it would’ve been CHEAPER to have booked another holiday in the forest again for a week. Can you even believe it!! I mean, i’m not complaining as i’m really grateful. But, when you’re preggo, early mornings are shit…especially when you have to get your waddle on.

The good thing is that my family have loved it. Keiran and I have been close and in love. Yesterday was a great day because the sun was out and we giggled to the sound of fairy tale. We’re communicating a great deal right now and completely back to utter love mode and well i guess we both just want the other to love us and whole heartedly like they do in a fairy tale or movie. We have that kind of love, the love that story tellers have written about in centuries and both of us never want it to end. Even though we’re confident that it ever will…our histories have made us a little bit more jaded that we need to be.But we’re holding hands through it and loving each other. He looked at me over dinner last night and told me he was so lucky because I was so beautiful and when you hear the man of your dreams say that to you, it sort of makes your world complete. When Rubes had gone to bed we chatted like best friends and we are each other’s best friend and we stared across at each other tucked up in our sheets, talking about our love, life and future.

Our lives are glittered over with all sorts of jiggery pokery but i just know that one day each element will be finally in place and we will be able to champion over the world. It just takes time. We’ve had good moment and bad moments, yet all the moment will count when we get to where we want to be in life. OH!! AND i drove yesterday…twice!!! It was hilarious as the driving part was fine, yet any time ou get to a junction and you have your nose pointing left, yet you’re indicating right, with the wipers on and the radio blasting and the headlights on…you know you’re in trouble! 🙂 I mean, i couldn’t for the life of me figure out where the indicators were??? Of course I didn’t pre-plan, because i’m good like so when I got to the junction i just pushed, twisted and tugged at every and any button that I thought fit. 🙂 It was so funny to be sat at the junction with every bit of my car madly functioning with the wipers and everything, AND having my poor hubby behind me in his van pissing himself laughing at the state of his dear dear wife’s driving. I just looked back at him when it all got the better of me, in my mad car and laughed, whilst shrugging. It was just one of those moments that you remember as ‘good times.’ The simpliest moments of love and laughter.

As always, i went with ‘fuck it’ and just drove anyway. I figured it was only Keiran behind me and I only had to drive a couple blocks up. No indicating took place….until he taught me the error of my ways…we just giggled and said, ‘You are soooo cute!’ I was there in my giant faux fur, preggo and manic, giggling at my shit driving. I’m a champion.

But today, Ruby is successfully at nursery. I’m home waiting for the gent who fixes boilers in the cold, Keiran has gone to Doncaster with his Grandad and life is good. We have a lot of work on. My body is weirdly aching AND well yesterday I had to place our Baby Bump on the waiting list for nursery! Can you believe it! They have a year long waiting list, so I was even kinda late, but my mum reminded me over steak the evening before. Luckily, he will have Ruby already there, meaning he’ll hopefully get a few more ‘push in’ privileges  I’m learning that money does make the world go around. But yes, to get into their nursery, Mothers have to place their babies, even if they are yet to be born, on the waiting list for consideration A YEAR BEFORE they hope to attend! Craziness! PLUS their waiting list is FULL!!

But, i’m happy to have have got my baby boy ‘bump-a-lump’ on it! It felt special, real and lovely. Plus, it made me realize how much of a big girl Baby Ruby was now. I adore her.

I love that i’m sat at home sipping warm cups of green tea, in my coat and TOWIE eyelashes and weave. GIRLS…do not underestimate how warm a weave keeps you!!! My body is all waddled out. But i will say that it sort of sucks that I can’t even have a rum to keep me warm. If in doubt you’re meant to be able to make like a pirate and get rummed up. I don’t think the baby bump will like that too much!

Busy week! I think i’m filming this Saturday in London. AND it’s actually my lovely hubby’s 29th Birthday tomorrow. How exciting!!!

Love you all.

They’ll be blogs today and simply because the laptop makes my lap warm. I’m currently looking for things to keep my lap cozy. I have no kittens to snuggle, no babies to keep my lap ‘ooh laa’, no strippers (i’ve run out of them)…and no hot water bottles….that don’t have gin in them. 🙂  Good job i already look like an eskimo, as it makes the cold not feel so bad, because my mirror image has convinced me that  it sort of in a weird way suits my nature. 🙂

OH and it’s NATIONAL HAPPINESS DAY TODAY, so cheer up you miserable lot!

ps/Almost burnt the house down this morning, by placing all the gas hobs on to keep warm. Unopened birthday cards fell onto the naked flames and well would’ve shot up in flames if Keiran didn’t save them at the last minute. 🙂

pps/ He has also given me strict instructions to not let a random man into the house without checking his ID, because apparently some stranger will rock up, tell me he’s going to make me warm and not even be the right boiler man and after fiddling with the gas for a while, not knowing what he’s doing, he will then kill our entire family. I just looked at him, laughed and said, ‘well that was a very positive thought!’ lol. You can take the man out of the Army, but you can’t take the Army out the man. Good job i like a possessive man. I weirdly see it as ‘ he cares.’ As if anyone’s going to be able to kill me with this weave! I look divine. I’ll open the door and my weave will work it’s magic that his own boner will knock him out cold. 😉 *Wiggle-wink*