The Takers Of Advantage

 

Wow! Yesterday went down hill.

Beautiful weather it was and a fine day I was having. Then just like that out of nowhere, it took a swan dive and I found myself wedged in a corner of life that I call ‘being taken advantage of.’ It’s like the ‘naughty corner’ but shitter, because you’re an adult and well you’re not as well appreciated, as a child is.

Now, as you all know, i’m feisty. I’m loving and giving and all that bit of fairytale….but i’m feisty. However, i did used to be far more giving, yet after a distinct stream of handsome and not so handsome young men, who made it their executive decision to use me and deliciously dollop a jolly load of maybe emotional abuse upon my little pretty shoulders…I changed. I actually changed for the better and began to put ME first, without feeling bad about it and give to those who didn’t try to push or manipulate me, yet those who deserved my time, help and honour. It doesn’t matter if you feel as though you’re being used mentally, emotionally, financially, or physically …it’s all pretty much the same. Makes you need a wine and a cry.

Yesterday, I found myself being dragged and pulled to do everything possible for others and nothing for me. They didn’t even care…they just wanted their own result and to benefit from it, regardless as to whether i wanted to be a part of their pokery or not. Now, when it’s people you don’t care about, it’s easy to give them the ‘shrug,’ yet when it’s people that you do have a heart for…it’s not that ‘piss pot’ easy. 🙂

I felt pressured into helping people with things that don’t even 1% concern me. People tried to fool me, manipulate me, prod at me, nag at me…and i found it all so ugly that it began to piss me off. Ugliness in people becomes very apparent during moments of this sort and well i do not mix well with it. I place on my stubborn heels and begin to gloriously kick off.

I was booking taxi’s, trains, refusing to dish out money, then refusing to deposit money for others, whilst being made to do University essays and everything in between…which meant putting MY WORK and what I WANTED TO DO, to one side. Bottom line, you shouldn’t put people on the spot and make them feel as though they should help you. It’s poor manners and I find it unattractive. Plus, if someone doesn’t wish to do something, they don’t wish to do something and that should be respected…not manipulated, as surely only an evil person would try and mould the thoughts of another in order to make them feel pressured.

I’m confused as to why people can’t sort out their own problems (I do, I had to fend for myself in tinsel town…fair enough it was glitzy…but still i sorted myself out) and I’m confused as to why if i don’t come to the aid of someone, even if their problem has nothing to do with me, that they get angry at me? (You’re problem, you’re fault…usually.) If you’ve got a problem that you need solved, you really can sort it yourself, without roping others into it…if you can’t…your inadequate and therefore shouldn’t push the blame of your own inadequacies on someone else. I had help queries from everyone, my mother, my brother, my husband, my friends…my everything. It was a bizarre little day.

The good thing about me is that, i’ve already learnt that lesson the hard way and will no way ever get caught up in it again. (Even though i did end up having to stay up until 2am writing someone’s Uni essay for them, which i only finished at 12 noon-ish today. There was no thank you’s for it or anything. Just a ‘good’ and a ’email it to me.’ It kinda made me really sad that I wasn’t appreciated…because it reminds me of my past, when I would run around doing everything for everyone, all innocent and wholeheartedly, only to realize far too late that they were just taking advantage of me the entire time. (You always realize far too late when you’re learning. You’ll fall off your heels a few times, yet that one time you’ll get up and be more stable. 🙂 )

At that time i felt so stupid and so worthless (yippeee) that I finally managed to grow out of it and become ‘hero’ strong, in a good way too…as i’m still deliciously lovely, yet a whole lot wiser. Lol. Thank GOD! I even laugh at those who attempt to insult me with mere manipulation methods now and don’t one bit feel bad for not aiding those who i can read like a book. They always try to make you feel bad for not helping them. I think i’m just a girl who likes to sort her own problems out herself and my pride doesn’t allow me to ask for help. If i fall flat on my arse…it’s my own fault usually.

Yesterday, i put everything I wanted to one side and for others. Yet the sad thing was the others didn’t really appreciate the help, they just wanted to benefit from my help. Two very different things. Annoying toooooo!

Then to top it all off…after hours and hours and hours of helping my brother had been spent and I had pushed all  my things and what I actually wanted to do to one side. All of which was witnessed by my husband, who was somewhat sympathetic at the time, yet had previously asked me to do something that would only benefit him really. When i refused or stated that i needed time to think, he then tried to also ‘add pressure’ (which just makes me do the opposite.) Romantic I know!

I get into his stupid van,  not to help him out with his ‘whatever’ problem, but to mildy do him a favour by being the ‘van sitter’, as he parks in an inappropriate spot in Pontefract and tends to the banking. I didn’t even want to go. I only went because I figured he needed me to. He then, after seeing me stress out for hours and hours on end, feeling taking advantage of and unappreciated, decides he’s going to make it all better by pausing, waiting until   I get comfy in the van and then by re-asking me to HELP HIM do the previous thing that I didn’t want to do… and straight away, meaning he didn’t at all care that i was being used and had felt used all night and all morning. He just thought that the art of someone else using me before HE could, was a hinderance for him, as he now wasn’t going to get what he wanted out of me. MEN! How terrible! How selfish! AND after all that, he left it a whole joyous minute, before posing the question AGAIN and because he didn’t like the answer. What? (We actually had a lovely morning breakfast together, out at a garden centre this morning. We used to do it all the time, but i fancied being out and about and kinda needed a bit of air. All was well, but we talked about money and how people need to work hard for it. THEN he decides to bring up his idea that i haven’t worked hard for money because I used to do a job that really wasn’t anything to be proud of. I think he stated that being a glamour model, wasn’t an ‘honest living.’ Now, i admit that it wasn’t the best living, when you look at all the potential i had in me to pretty much do a lot of things. But firstly, i turned it around and SECONDLY I don’t enjoy people judging others in that manner. It’s like belittling them when you have no power. So he might thing posing and pouting with your boobs out isn’t necessarily an ‘honest living,’ which is an opinion he is entitled to have. (Even though he is a fan of staring at bare boobs online and in magazines. For example he doesn’t know you the Prime Minister was 8 years ago, but he knows who Pamela Anderson is.) However, I can clearly state, that in my opinion  i’m not so sure that training to kill and take the lives of others is necessarily an ‘honest living’ either…Mr.Soldier. Like with everything, it depends on how you look at it. Yet I’m not rude enough to demean someone…because I don’t have to. I feel good about myself.)

Anyway, the van argument, after he asked me for the favour ended in me saying, ‘NO.’ Him then asking me ‘why’ and then me stating that i had only JUST GOT DONE BEING TAKING ADVANTAGE OF, meaning it wasn’t happening again, one minute afterward!! How dare he even attempt to make me sort his problem out, after all that and after he pretended to be sympathetic. It rubbed me the wrong way…and you never want to do that. Stroke me the right way and i’ll purr like a kitten. Stroke me the wrong way ans you’ll get an arched back *HISS.*

I screamed at him and said, ‘I’M SIMPLY NOT DOING IT BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TOOOO!’

He replied, although annoyed with a ‘That’s fair enough. That’s fine by me.’

He didn’t mean it though, because then in true Keiran style, he then was extremely sweet to me for a good 4 minutes, before losing his temper and YELLING AT ME in the van. Hmm..? He followed up with an apology for calling me ‘a child’ (after I threw my apple at the van dashboard) and ‘negative’…to only then start SCREAMING at me again and finding reasons why I was such a horrific person. I’m apparently sooo negative and he can’t stand it, when he’s the one that’s been negative over the last few days. He’s the one that’s had business problems and stress and late night wine banter…not me. I’m happy…yet simply just a moany preggo.

I might outwardly come across as feisty and hard glazed, yet internally i’m truly happy and filled with gooey joy. That’s why good things happen to me. He tried to mask his stress over with a glaze of wordy happiness today…hence why he lost it and had to scream at me, in order to make himself feel better. It’s how it works.

He spat his dummy out, then he was lovely to me again…then he spot his dummy out once more, when i wouldn’t respond the way he wished me too…then he name called and was apologetic and lovely to me again..all the while calling ME ‘hot and cold.’ HE was HOT AND COLD. I was directly one thing, the entire time…an that was annoyed at him. Nothing moved. Nothing changed. I stood my ground. He swang from branch to branch emotionally. He’s easy to read. Whilst complaining about having to put up with me. I simply replied with a ‘well you don’t have to, do you.’ He said nothing. I mean why complain about something you’re choosing to do. That’s all he kept saying to me last night when i was doing someone University assignment for them. (I can’t do assignments without champagne.)

We did the errand running and he apologised to me again, all smooches and light and all for our upcoming baby…not realizing that you don’t actually get to say whatever you want and be evil, then be so easily forgiven with a ‘sorry.’ I ignored him…he hated it and drove us both home.

We said nothing to one another the entire time and i looked out of the window and cried. UGH! Don’t you just hate those moments, when you’re a girl. I had little tears rolling down my cheeks and i deliberately didn’t wipe them so he wouldn’t notice. He luckily didn’t notice and by the time I had managed to get home, they had tried all on their own. THANK GOD.

I’m now sat on my bed blogging away merrily and feeling good that i have this time to myself. He’s gone out for watch racing and drink with Phil. As he departed i refused to give him a kiss and simply because I didn’t want to, and he  stated that he would make sure Baby Ruby was picked up at 5.30pm. (Which he will later use as part of his argument. ‘I do everything for you and you do nothing. I even pick up YOUR DAUGHTER from nursery.’) In my mind, i don’t do ‘nothing.’ Plus, if i ask him to do something it’s more of the ‘make me a cuppa tea’ variety and ‘change a dirty nappy’ sort. Not buy a house, a car, make my accounts popular!

I’m going to work all day today and use my time wisely..the time that others waste.

I have a lot of great things going on and well the ‘Wunna’ part of my life is delicious. I’m doing really well, well i always am and it’s continuing to go smoothly. The business is doing better than expected and i’m headed for the stars.  I am looking forward to being skinny though. Roll on May. This waddle-waddle moon face malarky is definitely very over. It’ll be a long time before i produced another bump, I can tell you that!

I’m very very lucky and i can’t WAIT to get my Baby Ruby home. I miss her! She’s adorable and my little partner in crime. She was so cute this morning, bossy..but cute. *Wiggle-wink*

I’m still currently ignoring Keiran  and because i don’t want to indulge in conversation with him as of yet. I’m not over it yet and enjoying ME TIME to much. Even though I know i’m all worked up right now, hence why i’m needing a vent, i will tell you that the comedy factor of my life is the simply fact that i’m all ‘huffy-puffy’ but now need to make JELLY for my Baby Ruby, before she comes home from nursery and simple because she wishes to watch Tom & Jerry and *wobble* at the same time as Tom does, when he sneaks into the kitchen fridge at midnight and gobbles up the food…He sort of balances wobbly jelly on a spoon and as he eats it it turns him wibbly. 🙂 Don’t ask. I’m off to make it. Children really do put your life into perspective. They’re brilliant!

Life is good…and well i guess it can only get better. 🙂 Already perking up!

Wunna’s Tune of the Day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Own Numbers

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‘You’re being really childish recently…‘ said the dreamy bit of ex-solider, to his new found Glamour Pussy wife. (I enjoy how I typed ‘soldier’ in a jolly old lower case lettering and ‘Glamour Pussy’ in captials. 🙂 Priorities much! I’m saving the world a wink at a time! )

Life at home is great. I managed to get my hubby back to ‘sizzle’ again and simply via a cuddle. All he needed was  of attention, a wee bit of love and within seconds he was gleefully jumping around with joy. Keiran’s the kind of man who needs cuddles, who needs love, who needs attention and he especially needs it from the girl that he loves. I don’t blame him really. We’re all like that in Wunna Land. Yet, it was lovely to see him get his spark back. I adore my bit of hubby. He certainly makes my world go around. My hearts all a flutter and i’m skipping to the giddy beat of happiness. (Even though i did threaten him this morning, stating that he would die five years earlier if he didn’t kiss me in bed. We’re currently at his golf lesson at Walton Driving Range. Beautiful weather. Perfect for a bit of ball whacking. I don’t actually play, at all. I simply watch and adore. I’ve infact made great friends with the owners..which makes sitting and pouting much more fabulous. I’m not one for playing golf when preggo. I’m all about buying and adorning the perfect outfit, more than excelling with a club in my hand. I don’t need a club to whack balls. All I need is my wiggle..bump ‘n all.

Okay, so lets get down to why I’m childish…:)

Keiran and I had a beautiful day with one another and enjoyed each others company as per usual. I worked online. He watched a bit of telly. We gobbled up pasta and life was all a dandy.

Later that evening, after a dollop of ‘Real Housewives Beverly Hills’ (my favourite show ever…we both watch it) we decide to venture on off to buy groceries to feed our delicious family and well to also fancy our chances at winning £18 million on the Euromillions., You’ve got to be in it to win in. Give me my millions.

Anyway, we were all a  giddy, throwing in steaks and apples and whatnots. We purchase our bits and bobs, followed by two separate Euromillions lines and a couple of scratch cards, whilst also putting Wednesday nights National lottery on. (We never get time to get it all done, so we bunch it all up in one. Wait! He’s now telling me all the things that he wants for his upcoming birthday, as I type. I enjoy how he’s gone from, ‘lets not make a big deal about birthdays and valentines…’ to ‘I want golf lessons, a suit, a log cabin…’ Hahaha. He’s cute! It’s only because he saw Ruby get the official two year old ‘Princess’ treatment..that he’s now like ‘hang on a second.’ 🙂 God, this weather is divine. I could sunbathe,  if i didn’t have my giant faux fur on. 🙂  Pass me my Diors. Why is Keiran fist pumping? Did I miss something?)

Shit! I keep forgetting to tell you the story. Okay…so we buy our lottery tickets etc…and we venture back home. As we’re pulling up to our house, Keiran thinks he’s going to have a little joke with me and tell me that since HE bought the lottery tickets, including my own ticket, that if the winning numbers are on those tickets HE will be taking all the winnings and then divorcing me. 🙂

Nice joke.

Now..my turn. *BOOM* (Don’t start something you can’t finish mister. 🙂 Oh and don’t fuck with my money. 🙂 )

So, i politely replied with a ‘They’re MY numbers, you have my ticket, as soon as I get in i’m signing it so you can’t claim it.’

‘No babe. I’m not giving you it. I’m keeping it and if you win, i’m taking everything and divorcing you. I’ll be like SEE YA!’

Aahh funny! Not. I got pissed off. Not really over the money. Not really over the divorcing. Yet more over the fact that i needed justice. Wait no…plus, i hated losing money and i hated the art of divorce. Maybe something inside me believed him a little, which is never very good.

So i did what any little ‘Diva’ would do in this situation. No, not slash his tyres. That’s only after they’ve cheated. 🙂 I instead looked at him, smirked and said, ‘That’s perfectly fine Keiran. I’ll just walk to the Spar and buy MY OWN tickets. You can have my numbers. I’ll just buy new, because i can. I’ll let you have them. That way, if I win. I WIN. Then YOU’RE NOT ENTITLED to ANY of my winnings…and i’ll divorce you.’

Bingo! His face changed. But he still thought I was bluffing.

I tottered out the car, put my hand on my bump, grabbed my glitzy handbag and strutted to the local Spar, after getting chased by dogs to buy my own shit. As I passed the house he popped his head out the top bedroom window shouting ‘Chrissie, what are you doing? You’r enot really going to buy your own numbers are you? I was joking! God, you’re being childish. You always take things too far.’

By now I was fuming, so i was angry strutting, yet with a sassy swagger, as there’s nothing more sexy than an independant woman. Ladies should never be reliant on men financially because there’s a certain freedom to being able to do what you want and purchase the things that you want yourself, especially to win arguments 🙂 that every woman needs and has to love.

I mean if i couldn’t i would’ve had to sit there, take the joke and let him play silly boy games with me for fun. I’m not a joke. I mean BUSINESS. Let’s play MY SILLY GAME instead! #fun Therefore i stripped him of control (even though he was only joking) and did my ‘Destiny’s child’ booty dance.

I not only rebought my numbers, but I got 4 more lines because I could AND then purchased four £5 scratch cards because I knew it would wind him up.

That’s why I’m apparently childish. He later stated that i was such a ‘little girl’ for buying my own numbers. I replied with a ‘honey, buying your own things is a BIG GIRLS game, not a little girls game.’ It shut him up, we laughed and we quickly got back to fairytale.

Life is good. Love your 100 years and celebrate!

 

 

 

 

 

A bit of jiggery pokery

Gosh! I had a bit of a dodgy day yesterday. I think i’m bored of being slumped around due to pregnancy and want to feel young, sexy, delicious and fabulous again. Now, as you know…i’m a girl that needs to remain interested in things, as I have a disturbingly short concentration span and an exceedingly big mouth that will tell you how bored I am of you, a situation or a thing. Even if you bring in the ‘Dancing boys’ my excitement for them will only last a moment, before i’m looking over their shoulders for the next surprise. Probably why i’ve been through a couple marriages and 20 other serious relationships, not to mention the flings. My baby, my family, my blog and my Keiran are the only things that i’ve been disciplined enough to hold on to in life. I like to look at the positive and I’m glad that I’ve adjusted my character now. I’m far less impulsive now i’m an oldie and it’s much much more sexier.

I’m currently finding that pregnancy…although lovely….takes too long. I don’t feel frumpy. I don’t even feel unfit. I just feel bored of it now. My life has been about a *wink* and then an action. I’ve winked…yet i’m still here, rocking my bump…months and months and months and months..and months later. It’s quite a difficult thing to go through, especially when there’s no gin allowed. At least i’m still wearing heels. I mean anything that takes away your daily heel wearing abilities should be banned. It’s important for preggos to still feel feminine. To me that means ‘heels.’ Yet to you that could mean anything. However, at least I still have Ruby’s never ending chocolate caterpillar birthday cake to keep me company. I completely underestimated how yummy that bit of choccie birthday bug would be! It’d be alright if I saw myself as a woman who wants to nest at home all day, doing nothing but having 12 children at a time, collecting benefits. But I don’t. I’m not made that way. I’m far more glitzy, determined and well….better than that. I learnt from my Mama that when it comes to kids, it’s quality not quantity. Roll on May 31st! I’m birthing a Baby Boy!

Okay, so if you didn’t know Keiran…(The Hubs) bought me flowers the other day. He did it because he loved me and because I had been rambling on about how i didn’t quite feel as delicious as usual. He told me he was going to play golf…(well go to the driving range to whack a few more balls) and tried to disappear. Now, trying to disappear doesn’t work on me and I knew he was hiding something, so i kicked off and demanded to go, simply to make him feel uneasy. It worked as he fumbled the rest of his lie and had to fess up. (‘Chrissie, i’m actually really going to do something nice for you, so if you come I won’t be  able to.’)

Anyway, long story short…he went on his ‘Houdini’ travels, as I stayed at home to get some more work done and he returned with flowers in his hand and a beautiful hand crafted ‘Just for you’ card, that had ribbons and diamantes upon it. Inside he wrote about how much he loved me and that my beauty grows and grows…and how happy he was to have me as his wife. It really made my day and mainly because I felt worshipped. If you worship woman, she will always adore you.

 

So, anyhow…I then did what any ‘Wunna’ would do after receiving such a display of adoration and well Tweet it, followed by a Facebook picture upload. 🙂 I’m quite boasty at the best of times and it’s a habit that I learnt in Hollywood, where humility is completely over rated. Lots of people liked the gesture. Lots of people didn’t. Lots of people felt happy for me. Lots of people laughed. But it stirred emotion and that’s what I love about a quick Tweet or a Facebook upload.

However, there I was swept in a midst of romance, when i read a Tweet stating that boys really do only buy flowers for girls when they’ve actually DONE something wrong, or about TO DO something wrong. So, now there’s two ways I can look at it. He did it because he loved me and wanted me to feel special and adored. OR he did it because he knew that for the next two following nights he was going to be out drinking and watching the Rugby, so wanted to butter me up, so i didn’t have a go at him. When he was out of control last year, he would always never tell me he intended on going out with ‘the boys’ until the last minute and was exceedingly nice to me for about two days before he knew he was going to be an idiot. There’s always two ways to look at a situation and well i actually think it’s both. He’s clever enough to buy me flowers to show me that he loves me and doesn’t want me to feel unloved. Yet at the same time knows what he is about to do, if he id about to do something that he believes I might not like. Smart. Yet it takes a lot more that than to butter me up. I’m utterly adore’ for no other reason but love’ flowers and treasure them with all my heart. Yet buttering me up gifts need to be waaaaaay more expensive and last a hell of a lot longer. 🙂

On the whole, i’m positive enough to love my card and flowers and take it with grace and a ‘Thank you.’ It’s sweet and i’m lucky to have a husband that can and will find romance in his heart. It fills me with joy and makes me believe i’m appreciated. I see it as glorious. I really do. Things like that seem to matter to me and I enjoy that he goes out of his way to do them.

To any girl with a different story…you really will find your ‘flower purchasing’ Prince. It’s lovely to receive little gestures of love and well every girl deserves such treatment. We’ve had Fairy tales embedded into us at a young age, so it’s nice to be 32 and still be able to live them out.  However please do remember that there are ‘no reason other than love‘ flowers and ‘buttering up’ flowers…they both mean very different things. (I might be a hopeless romantic, but i’m completely far from stupid.)

I remember when I was in LA and sat behind a computer with good pal DK. (Before i nearly burnt down his appartment.) At that point in my life men were simply falling at my feet and I had no idea why?  I was sick of champagne and lobster dinners..as it seemed to be occuring almost every single night, by gents hoping to make the title of ‘Mr.Wunna’ and well I had flowers sent to me galore…almost every other day…constantly…it was like a revolving door of Interflora magic. One guy was sweet and gave me flowers because he loved me, however i remember another guy who excessively purchased me grand bouquets of apparent love…and lots of them. When I say LOTS…i mean truck loads. HOWEVER, (and I do go back to this) he had also forgotten to tell me that he actually so happened to have a WIFE and a baby SON. Plus, on the occasions that he lied to me and decided to tell me that he was late, due to him napping? (Not a very creative liar. Lol) He was actually driving all the way to see to his wife and son. The weird thing is, he actually cared for me in his own sick, twisted way of fuck uppidiness. Yet had opened our relationship up on a lie that he held for so long, that he managed to get his poor self tangled up in it. He wanted me to find out eventually and hoped that when I did, I would forgive him. It didn’t quite work like that. I never really asked him anything. I just politely listened (as it’s hard enough already and I didn’t want him to feel embarrassed)…then left him. He was a good guy in the sense that he was ultimately giving. Yet he bought me so much (and all of it out of guilt) that he actually ended up BROKE. I had no idea whatsoever, until his wife found me..which isn’t that hard a task and asked me if I had been seeing her husband. #ouchy I didn’t leave him because he lied, or because he was broke. I left him because he was stupid and well stupidity is something I do not find attractive. I mean be you a guilt purchaser, a poor decision maker or the apparent drug upped, ‘life and soul’ of the party…attempting to entertain a room full of people by showing off and pretending you’re not lost. I’ll find your behaviour stupid, or broken and therefore not find it yummy. Simples. 🙂

That boy must have bought me EVERYTHING and simply because he was always in a constant state of guilt. So all i’m saying is that you have to be clever enough to decide what the flowers mean? Is it down to  pure romance or are they agenda driven ‘fleurs?’ Different men. Different circumstances.

Okay, so back to yesterday. I was knackered for almost all of the day and in one of those ‘can’t be bothered’ moods. I was in a mood where I couldn’t bare being moaned at. (I hate moany people because they become nags without them knowing and I see naggy people as unnecessary baggage. I think the idea is to refrain from moaning to get what you want, as i’m more stubborn, than I am of of a ‘give in’ nature, meaning it makes me rebel and do the opposite. Plus, it’s bad manners to moan to improve something in your life via someone else. It sort of shows a lack of respect. People can move at their own pace…especially when it comes to spending their own money, or making decisions as to what they wish to do with their free time, right? I might have a moan here and that, as in a ‘ooh i didn’t win the lottery this week’ or a ‘ouch my back hurts, pregnancy is disturbing.’ Yet i NEVER moan FOR THINGS and I don’t do that because i simply find it rude. I went to posh school….manners matter and go a long long way with me. 🙂 )

Last night was delicious because i’m getting to spend lovely lovely nights with my gorgeous and very chatty Baby Ruby, cuddling and watching old Tom and Jerry cartoons. It’s a love moment that we both enjoy and a moment that I simply couldn’t exchange for all the money in the world. The thing about Rubes and I is that we understand each other and we have a connection…so no matter what in life, i am ALWAYS her Mummy and will always be there for her. Every night before she goes to sleep, she giggles, strokes my face, as I unwind her curly hair and says, ‘I love you Mummy.’ When your baby does that…you’re doing a really great job! No-one can actually believe how chatty she is for her age, which i’m quite liking as it means i get to be boasty again. But you can seriously have an adult conversation with her and she will respond…like an adult, but in miniature form. It’s amazing. 🙂 However, she has her mother’s poor tact. Last night my cousin Jess and her boyfriend Richard came over. They don’t come over often as they have just had a baby themselves…Baby Holly and in Decemeber, meaning their lives are all jammed up. Ruby knows their faces, yet doesn’t know their names. However instead of pulling me to one side and asking me politely to inform her of the new faces…she came up to me, pointed at Richard directly in the face, who was sat right next to me on the sofa and whispered, as loud as she could...’Who’s this Mum?’ Then she began showing off and doing her usual spit of entertainment…which is a break dancing/ballet bonanza.

Life is good today. I’m waiting until i’m back on you telly box. I’m patient, so i’m feeling fine about it all. I’m feeling dandy to say the day maybe started off rough. (Rough means ‘before coffee.’) I watched a whole bunch of documentaries last night, when all the kids (including Keiran 🙂 ) had gone to bed. I love a good life documentary so i got my fill of them until i could see no more. I almost nearly watched that ‘My Little Princess’ show out of humour, yet I was far too sober to appreciate it. All my gay friends seemingly loved it though. Who wouldn’t..it was comedic Princes fighting for the love of a lady, in fancy dress, getting thrown off bridges. You needed to be drunk to enjoy it.

Instead i watched that Facebook Stalker thing…and it actually disturbed me quite deeply. I mean,  that poor Ruth Jeffery has had to go through all of that and she’s only a little teen. Some men need to grow up and be a lot more secure in themselves, as from what i’ve seen, learned and experienced in life, when a man is insecure or lost the first thing they take it out on is either women or the woman they are supposed to love. So my heart goes out to her…as what a terrible way to begin your path in love. It hits harder with me now that I have a little girl and I pray that she’s as feisty and knowledgeable as I.My world and chain of thought has completely changed since having Rubes and I thank her every day for it. She really brought out the best in me. Made me grow up and understand what matters in life.

On the love front, Keiran and I are alright. Were going through an odd few days really. He’s quite knackered after his nights of hanging out and drinking. He was the first to go to bed last night and the last to rise. There have been sharp moments of snappiness from him, followed by sincere apologies and then long pauses of distant thought.

I’ve been moody too, yet i’m feisty…that’s just me. I’m happy, yet if i don’t something will express it loudly and obviously. The Hubby’s been on a wild positive streak of ‘ooh laa’ over the last couple months, so in the last couple of days I have certainly seen a change in him. He’s not himself at all and completely in his own head. He’s worried about something? If not that…then he should refrain from late nights out if it makes him that tired. His eyes look less bright and more sunken bagged. He needs to get back on Cloud 9…quickly, so i can have him back again. I think that he needs to maybe truly appreciate what he actually has around him in his life, without impatiently and quite madly craving more. He knows this because he reads it everyday. Yet i’m not 100% sure that he’s acting upon it appropriately. You ONLY EVER recieve more in life when you are utterly content with what you have already. If you feel as though what you have isn’t good enough, then you will always attract that feeling of ‘not having enough.’ It’s totally true. I mean you sort of have to be happy for what you have, whilst you also pursue all that you want. I just hope and well want him to find his happy place again and simply because I love him. I hate seeing him like he has a piece missing to his jigsaw. But i know he’ll find his way again…maybe he just needs a cuddle and a coffee.

Luckily, I feel great, refreshed and after another coffee will be over the moon. 🙂 Business is good. Mummy-hood is great. I’m feeling delicious. Yet still standing for no nonsense.

 

Big Kisses, Love you all!

Thank you for following my life! I adore you for it. 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Annnnnd She’s TWO!

 

One baby birthday weekend over…and we’re shattered. Yipppeee!

Hope you had a wonderful weekend. I’ve literally had a weekend of mayhem. It began with birthday cake buying, (which I did tell you about if you remember,) followed by work emails, social media company Tweeting, a meeting in Leeds, precious time with the fruit of my ‘about to turn two’ loins, cuddling, watching golf, being chatted to,  shopping, a family birthday lunch at TGI’s, a kiddie shopping spree at Toys R Us, a then weeping ‘almost 2’ baby, followed by home time for Kebabs, bedtime love, then children’s balloon blowing… in pyjamas, late night surprise present wrapping, memory box filing, then enters drunken Keiran….who actually then ventured out to purchase more kebabs for my mother, before returning to enjoy banter…what I call wine banter ‘avec moi.’

Now, before I was pregnant…I drank. I guzzled vino like a champion. Keiran was part of the TGI’s birthday lunch for Ruby, where he enjoyed a healthy 3 glasses of red (two were medicinal, one was for pleasure) and then foolishly decides that he’s going to guzzle 3 more bottles of red, with Phil and Kelly…whilst watching the Rugby. (I don’t do watching the Rugby. I especially don’t do flouncing around when it’s Ruby’s birthday…so i went of the Toys R Us shopping spree.)

Long story short, he gets home early..he’s quite good at that now. THEN after returning with kebabs for my mother, as i’m getting the living room ready for Ruby’s big birthday surprise…(i’m blowing up balloons, wrapping pressies, tinsel streaming window sills and all sorts extra,) Keiran decides to indulge in wine banter with me. Wine banter is only fun when both parties are on the wine. When one party is sober and pregnant…it’s not as fun. He rabbited on about money, business, love, food. Then wanted to order MORE kebabs. Then playfully giggled on about life, money and everything else in between, with bits of dirty hitting on me inbetween. It’d be, ‘I want to start a business- GIVE ME THOSE BOOBIES. Yeah…and then buy another house- Shall we have sexytime.’ It got so hilariously horrific that in the end I had to use the kind force of ‘THREATENING’ in order to calm him down. I mean, he wasn’t at all evil, just a happy, playful…drunk. However, everytime he said something remotely pervy, i threatened to TWEET his exact words. It stopped him from talking at my boobies and vagina aggressively. 🙂

All was well, until he decided to follow up wine banter by throwing a comedic ‘pity party.’ As you all know, i depise a ‘pity party (unless i’ve thrown it.) Or moany people….(unless i’m moaning.) Infact, i’ve already moaned this morning stating that my husband will now have 5 years taken from his life because he has failed to kiss ME this morning. It’s apparent statistics and well you don’t wanna fuck with them now do you. He says that ‘not doing what you’re told’ has the same effect. 🙂

But yes, the ‘drunken ‘pity party’ was upon us. What i’ve learnt is that if you are with a drunk ex-solider…don’t put them infront of ANYTHING to do with the ARMY. Jesus! He moaned and groaned and repeated himself until i shouted at him. Everything was ‘ i can do 50 more press ups. I want to go back in the Army. He needs to put more camo paint on his face’ or whatever? He eventually stopped when he thought my boobs were coming out. They weren’t… and well after getting the room ready for Ruby’s birthday morning and after he moaned about his hairdo….we went to bed. (He claimed that Ruby’s birthday was better than Christmas. He’s like a child. He wants presents too! Men!)

The morning came and Ruby jumped on me with with delight. I looked her in the eye and whispered, ‘Do you know what day it is today?’ She looked at me like I was foolish. So i rephrased and said ‘When is it Ruby’s birthday?’ She paused, smiled and then said ‘Soon Mummy.’ I gave her a wink and with cheeky Mummy love said, ‘No baby, it’s TODAY!’

So we woke hungover wine banter Daddy up, who was then forced to piggy back my child down the stairs to see her surprise.

Her eyes were closed and when she opened them the room was filled with brightly coloured balloons, choccies, cake, streamers and pressies galore. It was adorable. I mean at first she was confused. However, then she got that she had presents and life at two got so much better.

Lots of opening, laughter, love and cleaning up…which seemed to last forever. Children take AGES when present opening. Everything she opened she wanted to play with. We literally had to force her to open the next one.

Hours later and a candle blow of the cake. She done about 4 cake blows i believe and the attention goes straight to her head. (Eww…Keiran’s trying to be bossy and telling me to edit parts of him out of my blog. When will he learn that he can’t boss me about. He does serious eyebrows at me, like i should be listening. *Piss myself.* I’m not 2, i’m 32..for crying out loud…and a DIVA. *Hip-bump-yawn)

Anyway, she then went to ‘Daddy Pete’s for more birthday joy. OH MY GOD, I was shattered! I mean after a birthday weekend of nursery party, TGI’s birthday lunch, Toys R Us shopping spree, 4 cake blows, pressie opening at home and everything in between…I had never been more grateful for the ‘Daddy Pete’ pick up. (Who forgot to buy her presents so had to do an early morning town run to buy her something. *Rolls eyes.*)

Keiran and I randomly watched Tom and Jerry, had a moment of ‘sort of rumpy,’ (‘sort of rumpy’ is when only he cums,) then we fell asleep for two hours in bed. I needed that nap.

Then when we woke we were hounded by sales people trying to make us buy things quickly so they could get commision. (Always pisses me off. I can see through anyone or anything and I hate being forced to spend my money when i’m not ready. It actually makes me rebel and puts the absolute brakes on the situation out of stubborness. I’m like a mule…but fabulous. No-one does business on Sunday, after a nap, on their daughter’s birthday. OR WITH NAGGY PEOPLE.)

After pasta, we went to the driving range so Keiran could whack golf balls a little bit more, then travelled to his cousins for a cuppa tea and a chitter chatter about wardrobes.

Great weekend. Shattered though. Loved the last part of my evening where there was just Ruby and I and we watched old school cartoons together as she giggled, told me she loved me and fell asleep. Awww!

 

Life is great! Hope your’s is too! My Monday morning advice is to appreciate everything that you have and simply because it is only then that life decides to cut you some slack and gift you with more. If you moan and think you don’t have enough and crave for more, more, more without truly appreciating what he world has already given you…you’ll not move forward any faster.

Big kisses,

Work to do

‘The Wuns’ x

 

 

15 Missed Calls Later…& the Waddle Game.

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Morning my fresh flips of doughnut dewiness! I can’t believe I haven’t blogged in two entire days and simply because i’ve been ‘doing life’ (a little thing we all kinda have to take out to enjoy at times) at the same time as being busy. (Which just means waddling around glamourously.)

We had SUN! A beautiful ball of blistering warm light. THEN…as the British story goes..it bogged off and turned into a freezing cold, finger nipping, ice cold brisk, ‘sure it’s cold enough to snow’ wind. How cold has it been!?! Jesus! I can’t handle being chilly at all…even with 100  layers of pregnancy fat adorning my body without consent. I always thought chubbier people had it good when the weather decided to be Wintery  Don’t be fooled! Be you a ‘spit on you’ size 0. (I’m allowed to say that out of jealousy, simply because i’m a preggo.You have to give me your seat and everything. I’m envious of those with a waist line right now. However, saying that I get to have a beautiful baby boy at the end of my ‘being chunky’ marathon…so if anything i’m the lucky one, coz i’ll go back to ‘thin’ straight after. 🙂 ) Where was I? Oh yeah…it doesn’t mater if you’re a Size 0, or a volumptous size 20 Mama. Cold, is cold. That wind will rush up anyone’s skirt…and well it’s one that i just can’t find the balls to flirt with…and really that’s just not like me.

Okay, so my days have been busy and filled with golf, (Keiran’s a keen Golfer, yet has been self taught his entire life. Now and again we’ll pop off to the driving range so he can whack a few balls…and play a bit of golf. 🙂 I simply go to watch him. His ego, like mine…performs better when there’s an audience. Long story short…he’s started lessons and is over the moon. We’ve also got well in with the owners, because their beautiful oriental 6 year old daughter adores em and spent her evening pouting in the mirror after our meeting. I not get free cups of tea and a social media deal from them. Life is good. People  who own businesses tend to like us when we arrive and I have no idea why…well apart from the fact that we Tweet and blog everything, meaning we are ‘free publicity’ galore. With our bit of ‘look at me,’ comes a hefty and rather accidental dollop of ‘look at you.’

Okay, Golf. First day it was like I was caught in a beautiful sun trap. It was so good we met up with Phil at The Spread Eagle, outside for a drinky. (I did a diet coke.) Life was wonderful. Then it got cold. We ended up rushing back home, after having a brief meet up with Keiran’s sister, before stuffing our faces with leftovers and takeout.

The rest of our time has been given to work, and errand running. We love doing everything together, so errands are fun for us. We lunched, loved laughed and enjoyed. He told me how beautiful I was and how lucky we were to be together…Then yesterday morning, i managed to annoy the hell out of him and purely by accident.

I’m literally at my best when i’ve annoyed you by accident and simply because i feel honoured. I mean i didn’t even have to try. From the moment he woke up he was cautious and prepping for his day, as he thought I might be moody. I wasn’t at all…I’m excietd right now because I have an ‘almost two’ year old, who is actually TWO this SUNDAY! Aww!!!

Anyway, we venture into Pontefract town centre, so Keiran can purchase a whole bunch of new furniture for one of his brand new properties that he has just rented out. I decided that i’m going to kill two birds with one big old stone and buy Ruby’s birthday cakes for her pre-birthday party at nursery (that she is doing today in her very pretty party dress and snotty nose)  and her ACTUAL birthday party (with just her family) on Sunday.

Anyway..i waddle off and begin what I call the ‘Waddle game’ and he calls ‘FUCKING ANNOYING.’ Our conversation ended with a ‘okay Chrissie, i’ll give you a call when i’m done, so i can find you.’*Waddle-waddle.* (Was my answer.)

So, i waddle into Marks and Sparks, but couldn’t get a single cake simply because when taking foodie delights into a nursery, you have to make sure you tick every allergy box. Not nuts, not this, no that…no anything remotely fun. I mean can you imagine. ‘Chrissie choked my daughter out with birthday cake, yeah by accident, but now she’s not alive.’  Not the glitzy headline, i deserve or really want to paint upon me. I mean i’ve already danced under the ‘Terrifying plastic doll from Pontefract’ title. Yet that’s more humourous than ‘Chrissie killed my child with cake.’

Anyway, like any normal person with an ounce of ‘working brain’ I decided to venture to another store to buy Ruby’s birthday cakes. Normal procedure  Very happy to do so. Off I waddle.  I’m oozed over with utter  and delight, as any Mother would, when purchasing goodies for their little girls birthday. I’m waddling along in the cold, in my little woollen dress and fur rimmed boots…plonking in candles, cakes and balloons into my basket and gleefully making polite happy conversation with everyone I meet. I was very Disney yesterday.

On the other neck of the woods…a few cobbled streets down. My darling husband has now finished purchasing his fine furnishings and now trying to call me to find out where I am! (I forgot that a swipe and a handshake didn’t take too long.) As he said, he began his call to meet me and aid my preggo way in life. Keiran’s always been good with calling, even when we first began dating. He’s ever so reliable. I mean, there are girls and well I’ve been one of those girls, who have waited and waited for a boy to ring or text, in order to delight us with love. Keiran never really made me wait. If he said he would call..he would call and it would be twice over, followed by a text and an ‘i love you, be mine,’ gleam of happiness. He was always good at that, I remember when we first tried to schedule our date in and I said I was only free on Thursday or Friday. His answer was…’why don’t we do both.’ I likey!

Okay, so he’s called once. I haven’t picked up. (So far, he’s fine. Shit happens.) He’s called twice…I haven’t picked up. (Okay, he gave me that one. I might not have found my phone in time. I’d usually call back by the second call.) He calls again…no joy. Again….’this is the voicemail of…’ Once more…! Then after 15 MISSED CALLS and I mean 15 calls in an exact row, he is FUMING, with a distinct tinge of ‘WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE!’

There I am a few cobbled streets away waddling along merrily, with a chipper smile on my face and a warm cuddle in my heart. I’m going into card shops, i’m picking out choccies…i’m in and out of shops and waddling to the beat of my own sheer peace and merriment, without a care in the entire world. I was happy as can be…and with my phone ON SILENT. 🙂

Now, i’m not sure how long the ‘waddle game’ went on for, but it must have been longer than I thought, as i ended up finding myself merrily waddling down a street, that Keiran was stomping furiously up..and at the exact same time. I didn’t see him whatsoever. HAHA. I’m good like that, ‘Baby Brain’ is ace. I was in my bimbo bubble of preggo joy…trumping.  He SPOTTED me IMMEDIATELY and began his Army march up towards me…angrily. I eventually see him, as you really couldn’t miss the red smoke steaming out of his being. HAHAH. He looked like the angriest man ALIVE. It was hilarous! I smiled and giggled as we finally met and well…he didn’t.

‘Oh! Hi Baby! How are you. What’s up,’ i uttered happily.

‘WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN. GET YOUR PHONE OUT. I’VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU ABOUT 20 TIMES. I THOUGHT SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED TO YOU!!!’

‘Oh?’ Gleefully rummages through pink handbag. ‘I was just about to pop into that shop to buy a card. I was on my way to you.’ 🙂

‘NO YOU WEREN’T. YOU WERE ABOUT TO POP INTO THAT CARD SHOP. I’VE HAD NO IDEA WHERE YOU WERE AND I’VE LITERALLY BEEN EVERYWHERE TRYING TO FIND YOU.’

Now, i don’t know what happened at this point, but i had my phone in my hand, saw that I had 15 missed calls and a text. I smiled and ‘oopsied’ it, with a ‘oh my phone was on silent.’ Then weirdly managed to charm my way out of trouble. I think because I was so preggo happy and simple, he thought I was cute and before you know it, he was laughing it off and we were hand in hand galloping down the cobbled streets together, in love and like nothing had ever happened. I LOVE THE WADDLE GAME. It’s accidentally hilarious. I love Keiran because he can never stay mad at me.

The only things we had left to buy were basic boring stuff like toilet rolls and washing up liquid etc…so we went into a store to quickly grab them for cheap. By now we’re happy, over the moon and very much in love. He was calm, happy and filled with joy and well I was just…waddling.

THEN IT HAPPENED AGAIN.

‘Chrissie wait here. I’m going to find out where the batteries are.’

‘Okay babe.’ Then I walk to the back of the store to look at toys. 🙂

He loses me again and as he’s ferociously marching down every isle on a hunt to find me, he’s shouting ‘CHRISSIE! WHERE ARE YOU! CHRISSIE. CHRISSIE. CHRRRIIISSSSIIIEE!’

Hhahaah.

I hear him so immediately, i shout back informing him that  i’m by the toys, yet in order to make sure that i don’t wind him up begin walking upward to meet him.

He was on the brink of going utterly insane, yet in the nick of time, he found me and went back to calm.

All was well..as we found the toilet roll, the batteries, threw in a child’s keyboard and God knows what else…then he walks ahead to the checkout, as I waddle behind with the toilet roll in my arms.

By the time i get to the town of the isle, by the checkout….he’s GONE? This time, I KNOW, i’ve managed to lose him and that he’s going to be furious, so i begin waddling up and down the isles, peeking down every single one of them looking for him, quietly shouting for him…madly on the hunt and so i wouldn’t get into trouble. They say ‘third time lucky,’ yet i’d used up all my lucky stars by this point.

After about 10 minutes of us both madly rooting up and down the isles for one another other, probably passing each other as we searched. (I’m sure the birds eye view of our morning was hilarious, and I do mean sky view-looking down and not the ‘covered in chicken batter’ version.) We finally find each other. I’m at the top of the isle and he’s at the other end, SCREAMING AT ME as he marches towards me, grabbing the bargain toilet roll out of my arms. 🙂

‘I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU EVERYWHERE CHRISSIE!! YOU ARE REALLY FRUSTRATING ME THIS MORNING. YOU’RE DOING IT ON PURPOSE.’

I pay for the goods, as i feel bad by now, as my happy preggo waddle really did get the better of me. We walk to the car and we finally make it to our next destination. He was delightfully fuming. It was so funny. All he kept saying was that ‘I’d be at the absolute BRINK of completely losing my mind, then you’d pop up out of nowhere, with a smile.’

It just kept happening all day.

He was at his new property. I was sat in his work van. He was apparently screaming down at me, with the window open, trying to make me come into the apartment and up to help him measure wardrobes? I couldn’t for the life of me hear him or see him, as I was texting and had turned the music up a notch louder. 🙂 He literally wanted to kill e by the afternoon, yet kept finding the love in his heart due to me bearing his son. I should be pregnant…ALL THE TIME.

Anyway, after a brief spell at home, we finally managed to unwind and met up with Phil and Kelly at Burntwood for ‘catch up ‘ chatter and drinks. I haven’t hung out with them in ages, due to be being in hibernation. Keiran’s really wanted me to be by his side when he’s hanging out. He sort of loves me being with him and doing couply things, unless he’s going out to be hideously bad, then he never invites me. It’s a guy thing. He doesn’t do that now and because he’s changes boy ways for grown up man ways. I love the positive change in him. He’s been so wonderful that he’s made me really proud.

The rest of the day was great and filled with great conversation. I’ve missed Kelly and Phil and hanging out with Keiran loads, so it was refreshing. Lots of fun was had. THEN it was ‘pick up Ruby’ time. Followed by takeaway and midnight cuddles.

Keiran did his 3 pints and a kebab passout and missed the ‘Volcano’ part of a movie that was simply called ‘Volcano.’ I put my little bambino to bed and fell asleep myself.

Life is wonderful right now. But i have to get back to work. Work now, play later. I’m pulling myself together and making my dreams come true. I’m really excited for the birth of my next edition…yet i will tell you that when in entertainment…pregnancy really does put the brakes on you massively.

I hope Baby Ruby adores he birthday party at nursery today. She was crying this morning, in her party dress because she wanted to do her cake ‘NOW.’

Love you all. Stay positive and emit love.

 

 

Is it Spring?

chrissie

 

Just one of those GREAT days to be alive. Yesterday ended up being delicious. The Hubs and I  enjoyed the Spring time air, over steak sandwiches, filled with love…and gravy. We errand ran, dreamed of the future, got lunch with his sisters and then came the call from nursery at 1.30pm stating that we were to pick up Baby Ruby, because it seemed that she had a rash. #ugh #RUBES

Now, it’s not like we were excessively busy and snowed under with work. Yet when you’re enjoying like and trying to sail over the world on that frequency of ‘ooh laa..,’ a sudden blip in the works…and a rash, sort of slap backs you straight to reality. But whatever. We adore Rubes. She’s part of our team. We picked her up and gave the day away to her bossing us about for kicks. She’s very ‘DIVA’ right now and well i’m not surprised, her idols are Keiran and I. Some may say it’s a slippery slope. I say…YIPPPPEEEE! I’ve always wanted a feisty girl. She’s the heir to my kingdom…and jewellery collection. An Heiress can’t be anything less than ‘DIVA,’ dippe din a happy wink ofcourse.

Worked hard last night. Loving my new CWT Media clients. I’m wanting to do well for everyone. Actually didn’t feel too dodgy and spent the evening cuddling my hubby, (who had spent the morning looking at people’s camel toes, whilst they were eating pasties…then calling them disgusting.) I giggled, yet did have to point out to him that his distorted mind believes that having a camel toe with a pastie TO HIM is seemingly disgusting. Yet did he fail to stop and think that perving on someone’s vagina whilst they were trying to eat and walk, was maybe classed as a little more ‘urk’ -fest. Lol. That’s Keiran for you. We laughed and drove off. Life goes on.

Anyway, he did a great job yesterday because we’ve changed our lives and mind sets in order to be better people and succeed in life. So, he bought his sister a little pressie yesterday and surprised her by going to her work and giving it her. She cried tears of joy because she couldn’t believe how much he cared. Awww. It was the little personal note in the front of the gift that got her. It gets everyone…and well Keiran made her read it out infront of him, as well he likes to see that he’s made someone happy. I have a great hubby. He’s really got his act together now. We have a very loving and very bright future together. Today, i’m madly in love with him and well…maybe it’s because my pants aren’t too tight naymore. can you believe i was actually ONLY WADDLING because i was wearing too tight pants when pregnant. HAHAHA. I’m not even in ANY pain anymore. I’m not even waddling! That’s me for you. Every the drama queen and always causing my own dear, glitzy self problems.

I’m over the moon today, on the work load and ready to enjoy the day with The Hubs again…before nursery get us. I woke up at 7.3oam this morning and it was actually bright light! YAY! It put me such a good mood! Finally we have our days back! We have light and all that jizzle. Yet i’m hating seeing everyone sipping wine in the Spring..as ofcourse on the Mocktails.

Anyway, he’s moaning now because i’m blogging and he wants to go get lunch, so i’ll have to fly. Watched ‘Speidi’ last night…and i weirdly don’t hate them. I love them!

Shit, there was so much i needed to tell you… but whatever…i’ll leave you with this:

 

Thank Miss.Woodcock! @emilywoodcock (Yes, these are the kind of friends I keep. Friends who introduce me to and post bits of genius like this, so the world can appreciate and feel inspired!)

Happy Monday!

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So, it seems that i’ve been wearing too tight pants. Which would mean that they have been the cause of me being unable to have working preggo legs. Last night, I managed to brain storm and switch my tight jeggings for big baggy Keiran ‘that he doesn’t wear’ flannel pyjama bottoms…and well OH MY GOODNESS, I have never slept better AND this morning when I woke up, blood had actually circulated to my ankles, meaning that I could actually walk and without pain! Hurrah! I love being pregnant once more. What the hell was i doing strutting around in Size 8 jeggings. I’m the size of a fricking house. It’s funny how pregnant women tend to hold onto their ‘before pregnant’ size. You’ll see an array of preggos Facebook statuses stating that they are 7 months pregnant yet ‘still in their size 8 jeans.’ I can now walk because i’ve ditched my size tiny and embraced the fact that above the Size * line is a GIANT belly, with a human in it. I’m now a happy preggo..so now let’s rejoice! YIPPPEEE!

Yesterday ended up being a great day, firstly because it looked like Spring and secondly because I got to spend it with my gorgeously lovey Hubby face. We had a family day. A day where one of his older sisters, equipped with one of his younger sisters, sidelined with new going to be a Daddy ‘Sam,’ plus Keiran and I, went to show the big sister where she was going to be living. #

Keiran loves property and as you know he’s been buying away in order to rent them out, in order to build an empire…and it’s going well. He finally has the perfect tenant (his big sis) to reside in his brand new property and yesterday was the day we all ventured down to show her it.

She loved it! Everything was spacious, light and beautiful. Just what she needed after a bad few months of..well the only problems we women have are those created by men. 🙂 We all had a blast…then I demanded that we all go look at the three beautiful glammed up showrooms, so I could pretend that I lived in them. We did…and HOLY SHIT, it was magical. I showed them around the homes like they were my own. 🙂 I’m good like that! I adore any show hoen with a passion. I prefer things when they’re dolled up and presented perfectly. We all fell in love, well the little sis got a bit grumpy because she felt jealous. HAHAH. But on the whole..good memories were made, which put a smile on my miserable face.

The evening was given to takeaway night and Keiran and I snuggled and chatted ‘life’ over chicken curry and rice. We’re back to really close again and well it feels perfect. I mean we can’t believe that we’ve actually only known each other for 18 months. YET it feels like we’ve been married years. I’ve found my exact match and I hope you all do to. It took me a very long time. But yeah, he’s my little bundle of ‘other half.’ He spent the night telling me I was beautiful and how much he loved me. (Yet only because I was moaning about how fat I was! 🙂 Moaning is ace when pregnant.)

Today, is going to be a good day. I’m having a hubby/wife day with my little Keiran and well hopefully it will go splendidly. I managed to shock myself last night, after finding naked pictures of him on my phone, that I completely forgot I took! It made me jump! I was like HOLY INAPPROPRIATENESS! Then i zoomed in and the memory came back. It was only the other day when we went for evening spray tans. There he was…in the buff…tanned and with his winky out. I remember that night because it was before the press launch in London. I took one and he MADE me take 100 more, as he posed.

Life is good.

Happy Monday!

 

Plebs, Pregnancy and Car Boots.

 

You know you’re having a good day when you’ve literally had to hang up the phone, simply because the ‘other end’ of it hasn’t managed to deliver a conversation, or a story quick enough to hold my attention. That’s how ‘Diva’ i’m being today and yes, even though it’s appalling, a lot of my friends, well more the ones that reside in Hollywood…know this about me. I can’t bare loonnnng winded stories of ‘um-um-ah-ah’ that aren’t getting to the point. I have a short concentration span. I like short, happy, or dramatic bursts of news. So, if you’re failing to hit the bullet points to your story and your rambling on aimlessly without valid reason….you will lose me in an instant. I hung up. They knew why…so didn’t bother calling back. 🙂

Anyway! Hope you’re having a wonderful Sunday. To those of you who woke up refreshed well done. For those of you who woke up recovering from a drug addiction…not so well done. It’s Sunday for crying out loud. Anyway waking up or still partying at this time from the evening before is the shambles.

The first thing I did this morning, aside form check my Twitter…check my Facebook and ‘put my eyes in,’ was play in Ruby’s pretend restaurant, drinking imaginary cups of tea with her and simply because it made her smile. 🙂 She loves it! Yet unfortunately she has hit her TERRIBLE TWOS, meaning when she doesn’t get her own way she goes bananas at you. I’m sure the ‘terrible twos’ are hideous anyway, yet let me tell you, when you’re 6 months pregnant and feeling the utter pain of it, without help…the ‘terrible twos’ is soul destroying. All evening and all morning, mixed in with blips of obedience she was INSANELY naughty. It was devastating. I need a nanny, yet simply to care for ME and not for the glitzy fruit of my loins. I have no idea how women manage to have loads of children so close together and survive it. They don’t do they? Hence why there needs to be a gap between the birthing. It will certainly be a very LOOOOOOOOOOOONG time before i get hit by the preggo stick again. Plus, I don’t think Keiran actually quite gets how i’m feeling in this lovely trimester of third. He doesn’t at all understand the pressure or physical pain of it…which obviously i find annoying. I don’t want to hear, ‘tickle my back…why haven’t you done the washing,…i don’t get what’s the matter with you?’ Men never really get it do they and because they don’t have to go through it. Yeah they might joke that what they have to put up with is just the same. Yet HARDLY. Times that by 72 and then you will only begin to get it.

Doncaster was good yesterday. I was very glam, very preggo, very exhausted, but content because I managed to spend the day with Baby Ruby, which is priceless to me. (People always ask me why i’m more picky about allocating my time out to friends, or parties, or going out etc… and well it’s sometimes because i can’t be arsed 🙂 and mostly because i’d rather spend it with my daughter. She needs me. I’m not selfish. Having a drink with an acquaintance won’t kill me if it never happened. Having no Ruby in my life…probably would.) I’m a good mum and because i have a good mum.

But yeah, i found myself playing ‘Hook a Duck,’ with her, buying flowers from market stands and dancing through the cobbled streets. It was lovely and simply made the day perfect. I felt lucky. Then she got grumpy and my bump managed to exhaust me. She started being naughty and I began perching on anything (including merry-go-arounds for £1 a go) that would have my pretty preggo bum bum sit upon it. There was a line and i pushed it. I had never felt so exhausted in my life. I walked and shopped and lunched for hours. Met a few fans. Read a few Tweets. Did a lot of work for the new Social Media company. (Thank you for all my new followers. It’s doing better than I expected!)

I got home and then realized i had left the keys inside the house and well Keiran had gone around to Phil and Kelly’s to look over accounts, food and drinking. He drove home and let me in and i finally felt super comfy. Laid in bed all night, after working my arse off. I had a lot to finish off online for the companies i’m working with, so I pretty much got to it and then passed out in a slum of utter utter exhaustion.

Then when I woke, i spent the morning running around after Rubes, in my giant preggo state, with coffee because the hubby had decided to go to a carboot sale to sell our old goods to new folk. He got home around midnight,or just before and then woke up at 4.30am to leave in the van. He’s only just got back now.

Now, i’m not a car boot kinda girl. I’m a luxury girl. I’m not a festival girl. I’m a 5* hotel girl. That’s me and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I don’t mind buying things for a dirt cheap, bargain price. We all enjoy that especially when they’re worth so much more. Yet, i’m not one to really want to go to one, set up shop at one, or even underline it as a ‘shopping’ day. 🙂 But he loved it and because he got to sell all our old things off and made £100. (It’s bizarre how you can sell things that you have accumulated that has cost over hundreds and hundreds of pounds and simply palm it off for a 50p here and a wink-wink-nudge there. It feels odd. That stuff cost loads. I think i’d rather have given it away to charity, then sell it for lunch money…which was what we were initially going to do.) However, you have to always look on the positive side, at least he’s happy and well at least we managed to get rid of unnecessary clutter in the house. I like that bit. (I won’t tell him that the baby walker he sold for about  £5, my friend just said she wanted to buy for £40 today. 🙂 That’s nearly half of his takings for almost everything he sold.)

I’m currently blogging in bed and still have quite a lot of work to get through. The business is going well, entertainment in smearing over swimmingly, yet i’m finding the preggoness very very difficult.

I’m loving all your support and all your messages! The adoring ones from the boys, (you all have great taste in women,) the question’s from the girls (i’m happy and here to help) and the basic pats on the back for being a genius from the masses. 🙂 (They’re my favourite.)

However, yesterday a few plebs kept trying to report my blog on Facebook for being ‘inappropriate.’ I’ve decided for you that reading it and loving it works better for you. Just because you either despise me a little or see the word ‘threesome’ in the title, doesn’t make documenting my life wrong. Maybe it was the word  ‘Geisha,’ or even the combination of the two. 🙂 However, for all those who fought The Wunna cause on it…THANK YOU. Yet you do not need to worry, as @wazza and I are very much used to being banned, reported and blocked by the less opened minded heads of the world…and we always always get around it and away with it. 🙂 So you can keep ‘click-click-clicking’ and simply because we can do it faster. *wiggle-wink*

Love you all and hope you have an amazing Sunday with the people you love.

 

Big magical kisses,

C x

 

 

 

 

Quickie Threesome of Geisha

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Morning all! This is just a quickie, little bickie of nonsense for you, as I’ve just realized that I’m actually meant to be somewhere and well the fact that i’m still in my pyjama’s with an ‘about to turn two year old’ singing and pooing against me, is really not too promising.

Keiran..who might I add walked in from work last night and fell asleep on the sofa IMMEDIATELY, after about 5 minutes of his arrival (as I Tweeted…anyone would think HE had a HUMAN LIVING IN HIS BELLY,) is currently at the gym. He’s been a bit ‘off’ lately. I mean, after our day in London, where he was over the moon with glee and poncing around like a bouji hero, he seems to have hit a brick wall. It’s really noticeable because he’s usually so positive. However, he assures me he’s on the mend, having told me nothing about his feelings…and that everything will be alright.

I aided his moment of glumness by being moany. 🙂 I’m a diva, i have to be. I saw an opportunity to be moany and went with it…glamourous. ‘OOh my back hurts. Aaaah…i’m not being adored enough. Cuddle me. Love me. RUBY MY BACK! If you donb’t i’ll not carry another one of your children in the future.’ 🙂 Lovely aren’t I!

I was only messing though and it brought a smile to his little moody face. We’re connected so if the other half to our ‘wiggle’ is down, we feel it also and it sucks hairy balls.

Then he told me to shut up and sit in the corner quietly so he could watch ‘the adverts!’ THE ADVERTS! WHAT! I talked al the way through them deliberately after being told not to, simply out of principle. Since when has money off at Pounds to Pocket or whatever….been ore interesting than ME! Everything is ‘i’m carrying your CHILD right now Keiran!’ He loves me moaning really. It oddly and because he’s sick makes him smile. He smirks like he has his wife back.

Okay, i’ve got to go and catch up later, as I think i’m headed to Doncaster.

I asked the hubby to rub my back last night, but instead he found rubbing my bum cheeks more pleasant. I still have a bad back, yet my bum is now more bouncy than ever. Not very helpful when it comes to surviving pregnancy. But great if you want to strut like Beyonce through it.

Lots to do. I’m working hard.

Thank you to everyone that is helping me launch CWT MEDIA. Give it a ‘Follow’ on Twitter @CWTMEDIA  & give my Facebook Fanpage for it a ‘Like’ http://www.facebook.com/cwtmedia

If you want a popularity boost, be it personally or for your business then visit www.cwtmedia.com to find out how I can help you. Then you can be glamour pussy like me and sit at the ‘Cool kids’ table and everything. 🙂

Love you lots.

Must go!

Why do magicians like to pull things out of people’s ears? Odd innit! (It’s currently on my telly, that’s why I asked. I’m not flashbacking. Plus, my flashbacks are way more filthy than that anyhow! Thankfully.)

I dreamt that Keiran and I were having a threesome with a Geisha last night. Lol. Welcome to my mind. She was really kinky too…it was bizarre!

Okay, going…need to coffee and groom.

 

Fluey, Preggo, Moody Pants

 

Now, I can’t tell whether i’m hallucinaing or there really is just the most random topics on my telly box today? I’m fluey and I’m preggo and i’m not quite sure how I’m managing to muscle through life right now, with a snotty nose, great boobs, but a temperature. However, i’m sure that in my sickness, my mind has gone to complete pot, as there has been a very important report on penis size in the UK, followed by a story about a size 8 lady, who has giantly wide sized legs. (I do feel for her story, as she is a femme who is stronger than most and well i’ll mocktail cheers to that any day.) Yet, the fact that the average size for a man’s willy in the UK, has now gone down to 5.1 inches, instead of the regular 6inches…unless you’re from Stoke is hilarious. They’ve based it on the number of condoms bought in particular sizes, so I reckon the boys in Stoke have just been buying ‘liar’ sized condoms…which doesn’t aid safe sex that much. Lol. I’ve seen many a willy, some that are as tiny as my thumb (yes on a grown man, i’m not a weirdo) and some that have been Hollywood extended. (Both as odd as each other. You don’t need that much muscle in ya hustle. If you have a naturally giant willy, then for sure celebrate it. Yet you really don’t need to go through the utter pain of getting your penis actually enlarged for women to like you, as if we like you, we’ll like you regardless. Saying that…i did buy boobs. However, i love them more now that they’re big, natural looking and fleshy preggo, rather than pulled tight balloons of glory. I feel more womanly. They bounce now and frill around now like flirts in leopard print.)

Alongside all of that, i noticed that I had a great deal of work to conquer. I’ve started my new business, i’ve having to get all of that sorted, which i don’t mind because I love it. Yet, being fluey and preggo isn’t helping. (I was super moody last night. It’s finally hitting me and well roll on MAY, I tells ya. I can’t waddle for much longer AND keep my cool, all at the same time.) I want to be skinny and fit again…this carrying a baby marlarky is not the easiest..when you have things to do!

Then my phone filled up with Voicemails from ‘business past, present and the future,’ and I had to get through all of those. I did my first call…which was for the press of the show that i’ve been doing. Then I did my second call, which was to my agent for pictures…and the rest of the calls can wait…as i have soo much to tango with right now. I need to get it all sorted and put my pity party away!

Keiran’s at work and well yesterday i felt far too fluey to enjoy Valentine’s evening. We had agreed to not make a big deal out of Valentines anymore, so we did a little exchange of roses and cards and choccies…but to be honest, that’s us anyway? We do that a lot. We do romantic hotel nights and breaks and flowers, with dinners…all the time. So, it was sort of lovely, but odd and odd because we know we love each other madly, meaning that a small exchange of things was just bizarre. We’re people who like BIG THINGS, grand gestures of affection, luxury, adoration. We’re ‘all or nothing’ people and i think i’d rather do nothing at all then do something small, as i’m so secure in my love that it feels pointless.

We just want to do well in life and our focus is on business. If we could get each other that…we would be the happiest people alive and because we truly have EVERYTHING else and we have it better than most. Our connection is ridiculous…(God, it’s making me want a bagel. I enjoy how i believe comfort food will make my flu better. I’m the product of two very good Doctors. I’ve obviously doing them proud. I mean before the bagel, i thought ‘doing my face’ would heal me. 🙂 )

I’m getting really excited now to be back on your tellies soon and because i feel a definite sense of achievement. You’ll see why…but i usually do things where I achieve nothing but a bit of ‘look at me.’ This time it’s been good because yeah there’s a whole lot of ‘look at me, ‘ yet it’s twisted in with hard work. 🙂 Yipppeee! Plus, I (well Keiran and I) have another little telly surprise for you all a coming!

(I’m flash backing a time in Hollywood, after I had been to a dinner party and stayed over at my friend’s house, who is a big agent out there for movie stars. He’s gay and told me to clean up the leftover table drama, the next morning. Clean up? Ewwww! Instead of carefully placing away his dirty glasses and cutlery. I simply opened a black bin liner and threw everything..including the champagne glasses and plates…:) into the bin. My version of cleaning up. Yeah baby! He wasn’t even fuming, as he completely and utterly knew that i would do that. So he laughed, told me that he had actually RENTED out the glasses, plates and cutlery for the party and needed to send it back. However, that could all be sorted later, as right now it was a must that we hit ‘The Abbey’ in West Hollywood and sup at least 24 raspberry mojhitos in the sun with friends! 🙂 ) Ace life!

I need that bagel and to work. I need to go!

 

Love you..

C x