Airport runs, Keys and Very Ginger Nut cases


What a day! I’ve enjoyed a morning of very early airport runs, which I didn’t even actually have to go on, yet due to my handsome husband of ‘hubba-hubba,’ losing the keys, then slowly deciding to lose his mind, I was up at 5.45am, blind as a bat, topless, in my kitty bed sheets, rummaging through a shimmery pink ‘throw everything in’ bag, hunting for them! NOT FUN.

He looked high, he looked low, he looked inside, outside, in his mother’s chamber…but no. No recollection of the keys anywhere!!  He’s good at losing the keys. He always loses his keys and his sunglasses and for some reason always believes that I have them. The thing about Keiran, is he’ll begin his hunt by saying, ‘I can’t find the keys anywhere…’ yet before he’s even had a look, which is really quite clever, as it makes the people surrounding him go on a giant key hunt for him, whilst he casually saunters about, doing his quiff in the mirror and occasionally picking up bundles of ‘on the counter’ bits and pieces, like a wallet, a tub, or a hat, to see if his keys are under them.

However, this morning, was an important morning…and because it was the morning that he was to pick up my parents and little brother, from the airport, who have finally returned from Burma…and he had to be there by 7.35am, or they’d be stranded, not knowing what was happening. #goodie. Keiran’s not a panicker. He panicked. (In his calm panicky kinda of way.) I was half asleep, pregnant, in the dark, rummaging, with no contact lenses in, boobs out and with a now very ‘UP’ Baby Ruby, who was determined to be part of the action, find out what ‘Daddy’ was actually doing and whilst also demanding a few merry verses of ‘I’m a little teapot,’ before hearing a ‘RIGHT BABE, I’VE FOUND THEM! They were in my jacket,’ and a ‘BYE Ruby,’ which left her in hysterical drama of ‘don’t leave me’ tears, that lasted a good 17 minute and that was after we heard the door slam closed in a rushy-rushy fluster downstairs.

Jeepers! I’m a Glamour puss. I can’t handle this waking up at 5.45am jiggery pokery to find keys. I gave him a quick blow jon last night, after watching some Chinese boxing movie. He hardly ever gets them now. It’s tiring. I needed my kitty cat rest for crying out loud.

Anyway, Ruby was having none of this ‘Bye Ruby’ malarky, so continued to SCREAM in utter devastation. So, there I was, former Hollywood diva, sex symbol of glory, still blind as a bat, left in a midst of an absent minded ‘key losing’ drama. Luckily,  a sing song, a cuddle and a warm milky bottle later, Ruby finally settled at around 6.35am, after she found solace in her Mother’s arms, which followed at least 8 good minutes of her DRY HUMPING MY BED. Is that normal? Like does anyone else’s almost 2 year old, dry hump things. It just looks wrong, but what can you do? I used to tell her ‘no,’ then I went through a phase of laughing it off and now i’m in the just ‘ignore it and make like it’s not happening’ phase of great parenting. 🙂 What do expect really? She’s being raised in the ‘Wunna-Thompson’ household, where everything’s sexy. I was completed exhausted…so i pushed back my alarm for a further 30 minutes and got snuggled up in my sheets, before it was time for the nursery run.

Madness!! Then my phone decides to ring and ‘bleep’ nonstop at me, until I’m forced to wake up and no…not answer any of my phone bleeps, but put on a bra. A ‘bleeping’ phone, on ‘constant,’ makes me feel uneasy, so i needed a bit of comfort and a whole lot of support. Bra’s work. They cradle you with love.

Good day on the whole. THE WUNNA’s are BACK, which simply makes me feel over the moon. I’ve missed them so much and well it’s just lovely to have my mum, dad and little brother back in the chilly Yorkshire snow. 🙂 I bet they’re hating it.

My mum came straight to mine from the airport, which always makes me happy. I like being her ‘first stop’ of love and well Ruby loved it even more. She screeched with utter delight when she saw her and was quick to snatch every holiday gift from her grandma’s loving pockets..followed by her ‘party piece’ the flipping ‘I’m a little teapot’ song and dance. Rubes’ll win ‘Britain’s got Talent’ 2022 at this rate. As the child carers and fantastic nannies at her nursery say, she is the most confident and gobby baby they have ever met. She apparently ‘comedy’ and the only baby that they can have an actual adult conversation with AND receive her input. It’s like ‘Family Guy, ‘ but Asian and Diva.

Like I said, wonderful day. Both the hubby and I have got lots going on work wise. I’ve got the book, another book and a show. Plus, we had a bit of a last minute phone interview last night for something in the future. I’m feeling lucky and very very calm. I’ve had the perfect day of preggoness. I’ve nested and napped all day in my absolute fabulousity and watched ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ nonstop, which is now my FAVOURITE ‘Real Housewives…’ series and simply because I used to live there. I can relate to it better and well you can send me to Beverly Hills any day. Incomprehensible wealth sounds dandy to me, with a cuppa PG tips. I’m addicted to LISA VANDERPUMP and like all glamour pusses, I always tend to have an idol I wish to BE that I obsess over for months and months. They’re always rich, fabulous and delicious. Lisa Vanderpump is my current puss of all glamour and I just want to be every inch like her. She’s DIVINE and there’s no other way to describe her. If you’re going to be a girl, a woman, or a lady, being DIVINE is the key to being sexy! She#s worth $65 million, with a salary of $250,000 per series of the ‘Real Housewives…’ show. Not bad, eh? Gimme! Gimme! AND she now has her own spin off show, ‘Vanderpump Rules.’ I need her life and I need her life immediately. What a lovely woman. Made my day worth it. Then i took a kitty cat nap and got excited about the arrival of our new baby boy. #giddysmilehere

Yep, it’s finally sunk in. I’m having a little boy and i can’t wait for him to peek out of my ‘lady part’ and be warmly greeted into this world. Saying that..i keep getting these random alerts from Youtube, from people who are still watching the home video of the birth of Baby Ruby, that I plonked on there for people to see. The BBC version no-one has seen yet…and she’s now almost two. But the video’s we personally took, are up.

Some people are lovely and all ‘Team Wunna-What a gal!’ Yet most people..and do note i’m GIVING BIRTH here to my first born child, (so it’s a very big moment to me and I did looking fabulously…don’t hate,) are stil being hideous, two years later.

Infact, one dear fellow, I’m not sure if it’s a girl or a boy commented on the video of the birth stating that my vagina must of smelt really badly afterward!!! I mean, OMG!!! Would you ever!!! Then  another ‘Team Wunna’ champion, strikes in to defend my honour stating that i look beautiful and that people were being so cruel to a Goddess who was having a baby. Then another chump rambles on about me not being a ‘hero,’ because people do it all the time. I’m ore of a ‘whore’ than a ‘hero’ and once again simply because i’m in false eyelashes. 🙂 Jesus.

Their username is ‘Gingernuts.’ I say no more…;)

Love you all, hope you’ve had a wonderful day. I’m determined to make my kitty dreams come true and I so honoured to have to all with me…and all that mumbo jumbo. *Wiggle-wink.*




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