Moving on up…

 

So, I caught him today staring deep into one of our framed wedding photos, that I have placed on the kitchen window sill and in deep thought, as I tottered downstairs from a very long grooming session upstairs. (On days when pregnancy gets the better of me, it takes me a jolly little while to pull myself together. Today was one of those days. But I went with it anyway, and aced it. However, I will tell you that the merry art of ‘baby brain’ is KILLING ME. Not being able to think is hideous and the worst handicap any little glamour puss could ever have. Not being able to fit into skinny jeans, I can deal with. They’re over rated anyway and i reckon i’m still kinda sexy, even with a bit of curvage. 😉 Yet not being able to THINK is numbing. I feel disabled. However, rant over. I’m happy. How can I not be!)

Okay, so when I caught him he said he was just looking at the photos, remembering the day and how much love he felt on the day. #Aww Then, his insecurities got the better of him, as he thought through other parts of his past and for began to worry that I might now adore him as much as he wanted. He’s not a man who wants his marriage to end in divorce. Yet sometimes needs convincing that I don’t. He knows I love him and well i couldn’t express it any more. But it’s funny how little moments alone with your mind can get the better of you innit. When it does, look at the girl or guy of your dreams and get back to being in love. It’s the biggest healer in all the world and could end ‘sexy’ for you, if you play ya cards right! 😉

After all that we he went to the gym, managed a quick shower and a groom, as I edited parts of my book and scrapped my ‘to do’ list for his. He looked so handsome today, in his preppy-smart attire. It’s the type of outfit, I find him most attractive in. I adore men in smart skirts and slick trousers, preppy v-neck jumpers or a suit. It radiates power and sexiness to me…and so any time I see him dressed like that, I automatically swoon. (It could just be my hormones, or my age. However, either way i’m not complaining.)

We evetually get out the door, so he can go purchase the beginning of his empire. Like I was telling you yesterday. The hubby, fancies himself as a bit of an entrepreneur. He loves the buying and accumulating of property and quite enjoys the idea of running a business or two. After leaving the army, he sort of lost his way, having to adjust to a civilian way of living. However, now and after a lot of love, bickering and finding the right life partner…he’s finally found his footing again. When men find their footing in life, they feel like champions. When they feel like champions…they really are much nicer to you girls and well we also find them much more attractive. Every girl wants a husband or partner they can be proud of…and well to watch him grow and develop into the person he’s always wanted to be, is magical. You kind of look at that soul, like a light of guardian angel and nod with a smile of approval, like your work here has been great and worth it. It’s satisfying.

I’ve always stated how I truly need to feel impressed by a man in order to respect and adore him long-term and yes, I have been impressed before, yet it took me a jolly 10 years and a whole lot of unimpressive guys (and i’m quite picky, even though I come across as being far more laid back with my choices) to find a guy who I am wowed by. Keiran is impressive, even if he has to hit rock bottom and clash against my feisty side to get there…he’s impressive and wants to impress. I like it.

Long story short…he bought a new property today, one that he intends to rent out to others for profit. It’s the beginning of his empire and it’s a great thing to watch. We looked around the property for the second time today and with a smile thought ‘yeah.’ I felt really proud of him because he was proving that he COULD make his dreams come true and he was on his way to doing it. He was showing me that he was a big old champion and that he was no longer to waste his time on this lovely earth ball and instead make his mark. I find that delicious in people and it’s almost heartwarming to see him so happy and doing well. It was like watching a little boy grow up. He proved today that he can adapt to change and conquer the anything…and that my pretties is all down to him now being a positive spirit. If you’re in a rut…get out of it. Anything in this world can be YOURS. Do things right and do them well.

I took a picture of the moment simply because he looked so happy and I wanted to remember him always in this happy state of achievement..it warms my kitten heart and brings a tear to my little tragic eyes. Watching people begin to make their dreams come true makes me happy. It’s inspiring, healthy and makes your life glitter sprinkled.

Aww…he’s all grown up!

Okay, so after the purchasing of the property, he then wanted to drive down to Leeds to go see a coffee shop that he was considering buying. Holy bizarro! That’s all I can say. It was the weirdest business meeting, I have ever witnessed. Nice guy. Good concept. Yet the oddest man of business ever!!

So, we walk into a coffee, smoothie store…it looks lovely from the outside, great location, yet the longer we stayed in the meeting the more and more we were put off. Lol. It was hilarious. I mean, anytime you are told, ‘You’re sat in the therapy chair’ you know you’re in trouble. 🙂

We had a look around and to be honest it was a bit grubby for my liking and i’m not even as half as tidy as Keiran and he’s the one wanting to run a store. Things weren’t working, we’re a bit shambled and he had things advertised in the window and on the boards that he wasn’t even serving. Lol. You just had to be there.

I was there in my beige faux fur and preggo belly, Keiran in his suit and the guy was telling us he didn’t fix things in the store because he ‘couldn’t be bothered.’ Keiran even asked to see the accounts and he produced scrumped up post-it notes and squashed up receipts, in a falling to pieces folder..whilst again saying that he couldn’t be bothered to sort it all out. It was like we were being Punk’d.

Then the states that he knows me from somewhere and when I mentioned the ‘Paris Hiltons BBF’ show, he looked as though he hadn’t ever heard of it, which therefore means, he’s seen me with my boobies out in a magazine or online, which is never good to bring up when i’m with my husband and it’s my husband that might want to buy your business.

Funniest business meeting ever. Not to dog him at all, as he seemed like a laid back decent guy. Yet, we did feel odd? I mean, you give ‘therapy’ with a banana smoothie and have a chair for it and everything. It’s odd, even for me and i’m a kitten who finds bizarre, hilarious. Oh and maybe ‘fisting’ and ‘escorts’ should never be brought up during your pitch to sell us a business. 🙂 Now, i love a bit of PR and marketing and I think everyone knows the basic rules of how one should present something correctly, when they want to make money. I’ve just never been in a business meeting like it ever and believe me, i’ve been in some waaay dodgy meetings.

I think Keiran wants something a bit more ‘glamour pussy,’ it’s how he likes everything, his homes, his business, his women. Trendy, clean, cosy and perfectly glam. Something that puts his stamp on things and the way he enjoys his life. Something that represents what our family stands for and like Me, he’s comforted by luxury also, therefor eI think that’s what he needs. So, although the store that he saw today didn’t really float his boat, with a bit of work, it would be great….for someone else. 🙂

Keiran’s too impatient for a ‘bit of work,’ and well I just prefer places that are already in working condition and ready to ‘go-go’go.’ I was really only there to listen in…and if anything it was a hilarious way to end the evening.

Today went well for him on the whole, so now i need to focus back on ME. The goodthing about us, is that neither of us want to settle on the great results that the other person has achieved. We BOTH want to make our marks, separately AND as family unit, making us an ubeatable team. I want my own success and to conquer my own dreams, at the same time as sharing my dreams with my family. He is exactly the same and it works.

Tomorrow, i believe i need a big old grooming day, so we’re getting spray tans, i’m editing my book, getting my nails soaked off and purchasing a couple of books I need for research. We’re in Manchester on Saturday..so we’ve got to look presentable.

I’m excited about life and taking this novelist marlarky seriously. I reckon i’d be really good at it and i’m ready to be a powerhouse…gimme, gimme, gimme.

We’re keeping our fingers crossed and we’re heading for the glossy heights…thank you for joining us on our ride! We love you.

 

The Money shot

 

I have no clue what the hell is happening? But I will tell you that Keiran and I are currently the luckiest people ever…OR….we’re just magic. I can’t quite make the executive decision, as to which one of the above we actually are? Yet on the whole, we’re loving it! *Cheer here.* (If you’re a hater…double kisses to ya! 😉 )

So, I never buy scratch cards. I’ve never taken to them and never thought that you could win a single penny on them, however yesterday I decided to buy a couple. I’m actually  trying to win the lottery 🙂 and I thought, well if you’re going to attempt to do something, you have to dedicate yourself to it fully and understand the game. Therefore, I did and bought a scratch card. Now, I said I’ve never bought them, yet I have had the opportunity to scratch a few, when they have been purchased by others. (It’s a really good trick, because that way you can argue your way to a percentage of the jackpot, should you be so lucky.)

Anyway, long story short…and not a great deal of money, but on the very first scratch card I had ever bought, we won £15! I adore the art of winning…especially when it’s money, so as you can imagine…I was over joyed with excitement and well there was certainly a wiggle to my preggo-waddle.

We didn’t win on the lottery. (But will.) However, Keiran purchased another scratch card this morning for ‘shits and giggles’ and won our little pot a further £5. Again, we enjoy winning things…so it was a little back pat and a shriek of ‘well done.’

We now had £20 in our winning pot and well I figured that whilst I was buying us salmon for dinner tonight, *sip fake wine here* I’d buy another couple of scratch cards with yesterday’s winnings and TODAY, (after he had scratched one of them with a 10p piece on the kitchen counter,) we had WON £100!! HOW FUN!

Now, I know that it’s not that much money and i’m rabbiting on about it like it’s a wonder. However, i’ve never won on a scratch card before and in under 24 hours, we’ve won £122. (Keiran won a further £2 on the other card the scratched.) So, now I think we’re the luckiest people ever. I mean, come on… £100 is a pretty little baby chunk of glory to win, during your afternoon supermarket wander. So well done us…now let’s win BIG!

Plus, alongside all that, I’m really enjoying writing naughty novel. I fancy myself as the next ‘Jackie Collins’ and even if I don’t make the final of the Racy Reads competiton, i’m still writing the book and having an agent shop it. (It’s where coming off a reality show comes in handy.) When you love doing something and I LOVE to write. I do it every day. I don’t do anything EVERY day and i’m not really very disciplined to sit and focus on too much for a lengthy period of time…sober. However, writing I adore and can therefore do it for hours. I’ve currently completed the first 5 chapters and editing three for a mister with a plan. It’s all very exciting and putting that *wink* of glory back into my life. I love the fantasy of a naughty novel, it really gets myjuices flowing and I’m hoping it will yours!

Plus, with that I have the TV show and a business to bloom. Keiran has really stomped his mark into Wunna land, by buying a brand new property, all to himself, to rent out to others. He adores the idea of being a business man, a man who owns everything and has always loved a bit of property purchasing, managing and flipping for profit. I enjoy this idea to, as it keeps him excited about life and keeps him out of trouble. When men aren’t bored and have a dream, they are at their best. My grandfather taught me that. If they aren’t striving for what they want in life…and I have a hubby who is certainly a go getter…then they either lose the plot, find a hobby (which usually becomes women) and take a front row seat on the roller coaster, that’s going one way…down. He couldn’t sleep all night, due to his excitement and I’m really proud of him. Everything in life can go two ways and he’s really proving that his life is going to be GREAT! (We women like that and we like that because those men are REAL MEN. Plus, i’m having a son and I want my son to grow up idolizing his father, because his father has achieved so much in life..as of course it will hopefully inspire him to do well also.) This is only the very beginning, but it’s a beginning that we BOTH are finding completely magical.

I’m less ‘want to own everything’ that Keiran is. I’m more glamour pussy and adore the idea of being an entrepreneur, however via a more creative outlet. I adore entertainment. I love being on your telly box. I love a bit of ‘celebrity’ and like I said i fancy myself as a novelist. Reality tv, and writing…would be my ideal ways to make money and any other bundles of business I had brewing, who be a delightful way to shimmie up a bit more dollar. Yet, i’m passionate about entertainment. It’s my one true joy, be it via writing or making a fool of myself for your personal happy kicks on the telly. So, that’s what I want and what I’ll get. I’m also opening a beauty salon…well mainly because I can and find it would be a good back up plan. Saying that, my Father always told me that you shouldn’t have a fall back plan, as you’ll always fall back upon it.

Life is good for us right now and we’ve done our little ‘Vision Boards’ and everything. It’s exciting! We’re confident. We’re a great couple. We’re making it happen and we’re doing so whilst being filled with love, hope and gratitude.

Kelly’s just been around (i’ve missed her) to help Keiran with his financial plans. She’s an accountant…so we’re lucky. However, poor Kels is not so lucky, as I’m a former glamour model, meaning that if she ever needed advice on ‘getting her boobs out, ‘ in the future, I could be there to help, but for anything else, i’d simply be a burden. 🙂 Yippeee! Wait no! I’m selling myself short! I’m dead good at entertaining the masses. I could be entertaining and mistake make for her! But yeah…not much else. Hurrah! (I do like cheering.)

Okay, the drama of the day, was the fact that whilst giggling in bed with me this morning, my darling Ruby decided to hurt her arm. (I’ve got a hurty arm!’) We didn’t think much of it, kissed it better and all that jazz, then sent her to nursery to see if it got better.

It didn’t and within half an hour nursery gave us a call, asking us to maybe pick her up and take her to A&E. We get to nursery and our poor little bambino is all forlorn and doing sad puppy faces, whilst holding her poorly arm. Aw! I hated seeing that! So, we immediately took her to the Emergency room to get her checked out.

The verdict was that there was simply nothing wrong with her at all…(thank god.) So she probably just had a dead arm and everyone got into a tizzy about it. The good thing is a nurse liked her so much, she gave her a teddy…and we felt so sorry for her that we kept her with us, instead of taking her back to school, meaning she could be spoilt and fed Burger King to make her ‘nothing wrong with it’ arm all better.

That was the drama of the day and luckily it was humorous.

Then we won £100! Yipppeee!

Our life rocks!

ps/ Keiran’s especially horny when he’s doing well in life. He’s cricling around me on evenings with greedy love eyes, telling me how sexy i look with my bump, whilst squeezing parts of me, that are now quite *juicy* (as I like to say) and groaning with passion at them. It’s worrying…but I like it.

pps/ I got pissed off in a A&E waiting room today and threw a tantrum because i couldn’t figure out how to pull a plastic cup out of machine and fill it up with water without spilling it. I started shouting and throwing cups at the bin in anger. *Waddle-d-wink*

LIFE IS GOOD! Make the most of it! It’s finally great to see such a bright future! I love my little family.  I’m happy! 🙂 🙂 🙂 Life rocks!

 

 

 

Family Dinners, Printing and Love

 

Morning my little trump cards of delight! To say I’ve managed to have ZERO sleep, I think I’m actually quite a chipper little puss of glamour today. I’m raring to go, armed with a wink and a swoon and even though my mind was misted with an array of bizarre dreams…(one was sexy, the other was panicky, the rest were simply about the things in life, that I had to do,) i’m pretty much all okay. In fact, i’m more than okay. I’m delicious. *Purr here.* (Completely having a flashback of a boy hitting on me in LA , whilst I was telling him that he really shouldn’t bother going there and simply because I was known to be 98% MENTAL. He looked at me, in his ‘Himbo’ manner,,,and with a smile on his face replied, ”That’s 2% GOOD to me, Baby!’ I enjoy a positive man. Can’t for the life of me, remember who he was now? But that was  how I was  back then. One of those idiotic ladies, with a desperate revolving door of ‘handsomes.’ I like to use the term ‘romanced’ by zillions of men. However, now I think about it, it’s just a decorative way of saying ‘slutty-needed love immediately.’ (I like both, but only because I managed to pull myself together and be a decent human being. When that happens you can always look back and laugh about the past. It’s like I always say, people can only talk about ‘the time when they were poor’ and laugh about it…once they are rich. Otherwise, it just isn’t that funny, is it?. It’s life. 🙂 )

Okay, so..I have a lot of phone calling to do today and if I dislike anything, it’s phone calling. Now, i don’t mind phone calling my Mum, or my family, or my hubby etc etc…yet I just hate having to cal anyone else and I’m really not sure why? I’m a texter and well I just prefer it that way.

Yesterday, we all went to TGI Fridays at Xscape, Castleford, for my Mum’s birthday. We go there all the time, so we’re kind apart of the furniture. However, we love it there. The entire family chitter chattered and giggled over boneless chicken wings, drinks and steak…as we enjoyed a merry afternoon with one another, in the name of ‘another year older.’

My Mum, Dad, and Brother have just come back from their holiday in Burma, so the first thing they did was show Keiran and I an array of holiday photos that they had on a their phones, over the table. Now, i do love holiday pictures. Yet only ones of ME. 🙂 It’s true though isn’t it? Holiday snaps are only interesting if they are your own. Other people’s, unless the photo is dirty or hilariously funny, are odd. It’s usually all…’here’s me by a palm tree, by a pool…by a…’ you get the picture. Nonetheless, I adore that they had such a wonderful time. They surely needed it and well they surely had the ‘back home’ blues. (Until the steak came.)

We seem to have steak wars in our family. We all get them. Yet my Mum, (who’s birthday it actually was) had the best cut of meat. Keiran, (who always wants the best of everything) got steak envy, so after devouring his entire meal, (he’s certainly a member of the ‘clean plate’ club…infact he could’ve eaten the fucking plate if he tried)..he then began to eye up my poor mother’s steak, to the point where she has to GIVE IT TO HIM, because he’s looking at it so intensely and ASKING for it. 🙂

‘Keiran, she’s a 63 year old hungry woman…on her birthday…AND my Mother and you are eating her food!!’

‘She wanted to give me it,’ he replied licking his big lip. (He has one big lip.)

Dinner was great! We all had so much fun! Plus my little cousin Jessica and her boyfriend Richard came along. They’ve just had a little baby together, named ‘Holly.’ Ruby’s quite jealous of her, so it’s good that we’re having a boy. Jess, actually had her little ‘Holly’ with NO DRUGS and in one of those birthing pool! She’s only 20!! What a woman. I would’ve DIED!!! The last thing I would ever be able to handle, would be ME, naked, screaming and in a giant paddling pool, pushing out a human, with no drugs. Jeepers!! She deserves trophies! You think the Youtube video of me, on a bed, in a gown is bad. (And it’s not. There’s no crotch shot. You just love to hate it. Imagine me, naked in a birthing pool..with a midwife patting me on the back, telling me there’s no drugs! #notsoglam Some might say, that it would make a ‘REAL woman. I simply say, ‘I’m too posh to push.’ 😉 )

But yeah, all 7 of us are around this dinner table, going through courses and courses, as Keiran steals my dear Mother’s food and my Dad falls asleep during each course. 🙂 (He sort of nods off mid-mouthful and forgets that he needs to be awake.) Keiran then thinks it’s a good idea to get the staff to surround the table and do that really loud, clappy, birthday song that they do at TGI’s…just for my Mum and with my consent, gallops off to sort it out.

Now, my Mum is a feisty lady, however someone who is not use to being in the limelight, even though she deserves to be. She’s loud, yet shy in ‘look at me’ circumstances. (I’m the opposite.) So, after 20 minutes, when we’ve done dessert and we’re now on the coffee’s. A bundle of TGI striped staff, come to the table, all happy and excited (which I adore) and ask my Mum, if it’s her birthday. My mum looks terrified and taken a back and says, ‘Well no not today’ it’s my belated birthday dinner,’ to try and get out of it all. She is already looking embarrassed.

Anyway, before you know it, we’ve told them it IS her birthday, she’s being made to stand up and place a freshly blown balloon hat on her head, as she stands up she knocks over my coffee, so he’s now shouting ‘You stuuupid woman,’ (in jest) and in the midst of her utter embarassment, there’s a madness, in fact a flurry of the loudest clapping ever, mixed in with the loudest shouty chanting ever, mixed in with bubbled over excitement and hoo-haa. It felt like a moment of ‘carnivale,’ A donkey could’ve ridden up with a cider and streamers attached to it’s tail and it really wouldn’t have felt bizarre at that point.

We were all in pissing ourselves, and my Dad was hysterically laughing out loud, shouting, ‘You look ridiculous!!’ It was greatness.

Photos were being taken, followed by a brief video by my brother. You should’ve seen my Mother’s face. Priceless.

Soon the ‘hoo-haa’ was over and she got to sit down and scramble back her dignity.

‘Who did this?’

My mum did actually love it, yet was just embarrassed by all the attention. She made ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ but she’s not as ‘look as me’ as the monster that she raised, lets say.  Anyway, she makes it her duty to find out who was responsible and attempt to interrogate everyone at the table.

‘Where were you?’

She finally finds out it was Keiran and all ends in giggles. Keiran’s fitted right into our odd Asian family and has a great relationship with my mum. She loves him like a son and would do anything for us, yet we have a very open and honest relationship with her. We can literally tell her anything.

Anyway, i enjoy to stir the pot so I butted in with a ‘Yep, it was your fabulous son in law, who eats all your food and then destroys your entire  life!’

We sip up our coffees and we all head off home.

The rest of the evening was spent being in love and completing our ‘Vision Boards.’ Everyone would think we’d be having mad, rampant sex. But instead we were cutting out, printing and sticking. Having an entirely weird ‘arts and crafts’ type evening, in order to get what we want. You want us to ‘priint and stick’ for riches…we will.

It took us all night and then Ruby finally came home. (She was at Pete’s all day day, tantruming and making buns. He didn’t end up taking her swimming and looked emotionally exhausted when he dropped her off. We, on the other hand MISSED her madly. I’d rather have her with me and tantruming, than simply not at all.)

I tucked her in, went back to ‘printing and sticking,’ had a snuggle with my hubby on the sofa and went to bed early.

Then had no sleep…

But dreamt about sex and errand running. 🙂 In my dreams, i actually have a fierce libido. Then when I wake up…i’m frigid again. Poor Keiran.

Love you lots,

Thank you for following my life.

ps, I submitted 1000 words to the Racy Reads competition on Lorraine this morning. The deadline is at noon. I did actually send it in before, yet apparently not via the appropriate channel. Story of my life. However, there’s nothing like cutting it fine. By 10am..i was resubmitting and getting it sorted! But booyah! It’s done. I hope i win. If not, i’ll carry on writing the story and attempt to shop it anyway.

 

 

 

 

A bit of Sunday banter

Much cheerier today. I actually thought I wouldn’t be, yet weirdly I feel like a huge weight (from nowhere) has been lifted off my shoulders, by half naked Greek Toga’ed hotties and flown into ‘The Heavens’ to nestle over…other people. I don’t know why, as like I said, there really was nothing burdening me, apart from my own new found dignity, ofcourse? Yet, i don’t enjoy the art of feeling stressed, mixed in with a combination of ‘rushy-rushy’ and ‘surprise.’ I’m not a kitten who enjoys a ‘surprise,’ when it’s a big change. I mean, i don’t mind surprise gestures of romance, or cute little surprises….from Tiffany. 🙂

However, the only surprise I will ever truly be happy about is the ‘Oh shit, I’ve won the lottery’ surprise. Every other ‘surprise,’ simply doesn’t cut the mustard..hence why I’m not keen on them.

I’ve been moody over the last couple days and well I’m now determined to shake it off, wrap up my pity party, actually communicate properly, (when you hide what you truly feel, you end up in all sorts of awkward predicaments) and steam forward in spikey heels, a faux fur and my ‘diva’ shades.

When I creatively work, i’m happy and well i’m gonna immerse myself in ‘getting ahead’ and putting my time to the things that matter. Keiran and I are both hard workers, dazzled in determination. However, we’re really different when it comes to approach. I’m careful with money and the making of it. I’m a great deal more patient and have no problem taking the time and putting in the effort to get where I want to be, knowing that when I do, i’ll be in a champion position…even if it takes years. (But I’ve made enough right now, to be a bit more settled with where I am in life, to refrain from the ‘rushy-rushy,’ heel totter.) Whereas,’The Hubs’ is far more dotty and darty. He’s ‘Hands on Larry-now now’ and will throw everything he has, into whatever he has set his throbbing heart upon and he’ll do so threefold…with his fingers crossed and a dagger of impatience. Which is also not a bad way to do things…yet, for me…and with ‘dollar’…I prefer a more careful approach. If you ‘slap-bang- hit’ the balance between us, you’d have it exactly right. It’s a soap opera…and we’re living it like champs.

Rubes has been picked up and is currently enjoying her time with ‘Daddy Pete,’ for Sunday dinner. Keiran and Pete weirdly get along quite dandily, which I absolutely adore because it means they have my glitzy little Bambino’s best interests at heart. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not supping pints together, or skipping through grassy fields, holding hands to nursery rhymes. But they’re merrily cordial and I like it. I think she’s going swimming today, as it’s one of her new favourite things to attempt. She’s loved it when we’ve gone to the spa, or Oulton Hall and she’s loved it in the forest hot tub, so hopefully, the Barnsley Metrodome will suffice. Yesterday, whilst every other child in the nation probably played out in the snow. MY CHILD instead wanted to rock out her ‘fro, and eat bowls of cheese, under blankets, in a jumper and with her neon fairy pillow. 🙂 That’s my girl. I was dreading having to face the cold, but would’ve done it anyway.

 

Today and because I missed my Mother’s birthday, I’m off to TGI’s at Xscape for a casual family lunch, to celebrate her ‘another year older.’ I’m sort of on a ‘not eating everything I see’ preggo diet. Don’t worry, i’m not foolish and I understand that I am pregnant. Yet, i’m trying not to chow-down for two, so that losing my Baby weight won’t be as tedious this time around. I’m doing quite well at it, as i’m quite disciplined when it comes to eating sensibly, it’s the ‘Hollywood’ in me, a stamp that i’ll never be able to rub off. However, sometimes you’ve just got to gobble up that extra bit of dessert and do it with a smile. The good thing is that you can then blame it on pregnancy, meaning it’s a ‘win-win’ all around.

Life is good right now. Nothing much to report, with it being Sunday, a day of God and all that vajazzle. I’m currently obsessed with wanting to be a novelist, one who writes saucy ‘Hollywood’ books, filled with martial scandal and delight. I’ve been looking online and it seems that it’s quite a hard task. So, i’ve decided to go with ‘fuck that’ and do it anyway. When taking on a task, it’s important to read the positive and learn from the ones that have made a success, instead of dwelling in the bucket of ‘it’s not that easy’ dish water.

I’ve done a lot of things in my life, that people weirdly think they can never achieve. If you don’t think you can achieve it, you need to try before you actually give up. I literally watched people’s dreams materialize right before my very eyes.

Keiran and I are once again back to ‘fairytale’ after a dodgy bit of ‘umming and arring,’ at each other. When you’re married, you kinda have a responsibility to make the most of the love that you have and well that’s the road we always try and take, making our love spicy…(but that may be because of the ‘surprise’ blow jobs. He, unlike I… likes surprises.)

See you all later,

I’m off to do my face x

ps/ What’s all the Andy Murray drama? I have a Facebook timeline filled with it.

 

 

Moody bits of cheaty statistics…& steak.

IMG0101

 

He tried to get a comfort ‘blowie’ last night, whilst we were watching ‘In her shoes,’ with Cameron Diaz, as it magical snowed outside, forming a Winter Wonderland fit for…an Elf? He didn’t ‘hit the jackpot.’ (Ah-dee-dums. He is currently stopping me from writing my blog, by showing me a video on his phone, of a hanging down, floppy vagina, with googly eyes computerized upon the top of it, wiggling like a heavy flob of chicken neck skin, to a background demo of rap music?)

‘What is it? I innocently asked, not getting the joke.

‘It’s a fluey innit?’ Replied the man I agreed to marry 5 months ago. *Rolls eyes.*

‘What? Why is it all hangy?’

‘Some, flues are like that babe.’ Then he saunters back off to his end of the sofa, still in a fit of giggles, yet disappointed that I failed to enjoy the video as much as he did.

Yep…he didn’t get a blow job.

All today, i’ve been moody. I’ve been feeling cold, suffering through dry skin, reading up on various ‘hate mail’ and stomping around in a kitten strop. I’ve felt exhausted and miserable all day, after panning back over pictures of when I was young and hot, and then waking up from a dream where Keiran had not only cheated on me, but admitted it.

I enjoy taking my dream world out on people in the real world. It humours me and gives me something to be ‘diva’ about.

Anyway, after a steak and a wee bit of veg. I’m now feeling perkier. Not necessarily ‘over the moon,’ but better. In fact, nothing is actually annoying me at all, other than the fact that I’m buying a new little house, which brings a smile to my sorry face, yet I hate being rushed into i

 

There’s this sales women, who hasn’t ever done anything wrong to me, yet her manner seems to rub me up the wrong way and for no real reason, other than her rabbiting on and being pushy for her commission. I think the word i’m looking for is ‘impatient.’ I don’t enjoy impatient people, who want something that I’m having to fork out for. My father always taught me that ‘patience’ really was a virtue and it has served both of us well from day one. I’ll fork out for something, when I want to fork out for something and on my time. I only decided yesterday tea time and by tomorrow (which is a SUNDAY MORNING) she wants me in. That’s not even normal procedure. I only agreed to a Sunday morning meet, because the phone call was being taken for me and two other people were discussing it without me, so i ‘yessed’ them. She’s kinda dampening the excitement for me and you know how much I dislike a party pooper. Now, i’ve managed to have a think..and had a steak, there are people I need to talk to and discuss things with, so it all flows smoothly, before I go meet her. That to me, sounds a bit more sensible. I’m not sure I take to nicely to those to try and spend my money for me, at their rate of speed. It’s not like i’m buying a million pound mansion, beaming with ‘dream house,’ it’s just a little townhouse for my husband and family. It’s cute and hasn’t been built yet. Let’s all calm down. It’ll be lovely when I get it. However, manners wouldn’t go a miss.

Okay, other than all that. I’m dandy. I really am. I’m lucky to be living deliciously and well i’ve noticed that when my life isn’t luxury dipped…I don’t take to it very well. I was looking through relationship stats between men and women today and well according to them and the nation almost ALL woman prefer a man more, if he is the ‘provider.’ (I like that and I agree, as it means we’re not selling ourselves short here. It’s good to have your own money. Yet they should be taking care of you and simply because it’s the rules. 🙂 ) However, also apparently MOST men, prefer or want a trophy wife and almost 91% of men with power and money cheat on their wives in order to find one. CRAZY! Plus, men who choose to work away are more likely to want to cheat and will..they see it as an opportunity.

Hang on, let me ask Keiran what he thinks about the stats?

. I asked him about the ‘trophy wife’ thing said, ‘I want a hot wife and i’ve got one. I wouldn’t really want to be with you if you weren’t hot, as it was your initial attractiveness that drew me toward you. But everyone has a different version of what’s hot. So, i’m not really much help here.’

. I’ve also asked him about the ‘working away’ cheating thing and he claims that from what he knows, the majority of men who work away cheat…but you do get the good guys.

Interesting.

Now, all the above is quite negative, so I do not wish to smear you with all that and in fact you should all take it with a pinch of salt and a glass of decent vino, as not all men are that way and I know this because I know many men and a very good bundle of them are very very decent to women. (The rest are shits. I mean, there’s one guy who got back with his ex girlfriend, after they had broken up with for years, had a baby with her and when she was 8 months pregnant…yes…8 MONTHS pregnant, was inboxing me asking me to meet him and stay with him, as he was away, doing promotional work in Newquay. Can you believe it!!! Then when the baby was born and he well is now about a year old, a beautiful baby, by the way, he inboxed me AGAIN, attempting to be flirty and talking about my chesticles!!) Playing with fire, isn’t as fun as you may think. I’ve ignored him ever since.

Anyway, now I need chocolate and another cuppa green tea. I hope you’re keeping fabulous and well you know this little bit of Wunna loves you.

Big gentle kisses,

Chrissie x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sneaky, before bed… blowies..

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Well he got another lavender oil leg rub and willy suck last night. Isn’t he doing well! When Baby Ruby was tucked into bed and I was on the sofa chewing tangerines, to ‘Braveheart,’ down popped my handsome little husband, with a cheery keeness in his eyes and his fingers crossed for a the big old, as he calls it ‘jackpot.’

Now, he’s always very loving and usually always coochie kind to me, yet last night at around 9.30pm, he was excessively loving in a little boy like way. A little boy, who tries to ‘hint’ at oily leg rubs and blow jobs’ kind of way. He does it in a ‘i’m shy and too afraid to really ask’ manner, and playfully declines if you offer to be of service. Lol.

Well first he’ll do the lovely nice cuddles, then he’ll follow up with playful husband, ‘show me them boobs-give me that fanny’ tickly force and squeezedom, then I’ll switch the balance and put my money where my mouth is and he’ll go all timid and shy and say ‘no…noo…nooo.’ I think it’s our sick game of love.

Anyway, I knew he fancied a bit of a willy suck and an oily leg massage because I could see it oozing off him with glee. The evening before he went to bed with the biggest smile on his face feeling on top of the world. His heart had leapt to the sky and back.

So during ‘Braveheart'( the last bit) I thought i’d give him a quick lavender leg massage, where in which he decided to pull playful sex faces at me, all the way through, in order to ‘get me in the mood.’ Hilarious. I Tweeted that ‘Diamonds work better.’ However, obviously not.

‘Oooh, I have sexy legs don’t I!’ He said. ‘Everyone says how SEXY my legs are!’ He giggled. Still playfully, yet getting his message out there, incase I did decided to pounce.

Long story short, he enjoys the rub. He doesn’t watch the end of the movie and pretending to forget about the willy suck says, ‘shall we go to bed now?’

I agreed. I mean us women, we can turn our libido ‘on and off’ in a second. Men, quite obviously…can’t. Hence, why they end up bonking every bit of snatch, behind their girlfriend back out of opportunity and well we either don’t or wait until the guy is worth it…or rich. 🙂 #iamjokingbeforeyouallstart

He gets up, hearing that i’ve agreed to ‘bedtime,’ and turns everything off, locks everything up. I saunter into the kitchen to make Ruby’s last bottles and get a nappy change ready incase she decided to poo in the middle of the night..and as i’m sorting through laundered clothes, he walks up to me in the kitchen and shirtless, showing off his body and like a little boy, asks me if i like it and if i did, could i show it some love. 🙂

He did it in a playful, kiddie like manner…but once again was serious. So, i playfully joined him at his own game and ‘play’ loved it for shits and giggles, kissing his pecs and overly enjoying his top half for laughs, deliberately dismissing it immediately afterwards, with a giggle and getting ready for bed.

There was moment of awkward sauntering and so within one minute I simply said, ‘Are you wanting a willy suck??’ He smiled..no beamed…and said ‘no,’….which means ‘yes.’ No, i’m not a rapist, i’m just going on what happened next, which was him pulling down his joggers and boxers, exposing his goolies to me, infront of the kitchen window.

By then, I quite fancied it, so i got on my kitten knees, in a full lit kitchen and…well got to it. 🙂

Thoroughly enjoyed by both parties. His face lit up and i felt quite deliciosu afterwards. Sort of sexy. Older, pregnant wife, giving her hubby a quick kitchen ‘sucky’ was sexy.

Then we gleefully skipped to bed and he couldn’t sleep all night due to him being in such a good mood.

I recommend it to anyone. I mean, iv’e woken up this morning and he’s being the most loving hero ever, telling me i’m beautiful and how lucky he is to have me, he’s cuddling me and saying that his’ yes have never laid on anything as gorgeous as’ me and stating that his eyes are also no scarred by my beauty. He’s happy as can be, working in the office and filled with love. He keeps telling me how sexy I am today and how beautiful I look. (I’m in navy Addidas bottoms and a tight pink Supergirl vest, in ballerina pumps. It ain’t that ‘Hustler,’ and well yeah, life here is great.

Hope you’re world is just as delicious.

Keep reading. Love blogging for you.

‘The Wuns.’

ps/ I hope my submission for that comp got through? The link they needed us to use didn’t work on my laptop so I emailed it directly to them.

 

Airport runs, Keys and Very Ginger Nut cases

 

What a day! I’ve enjoyed a morning of very early airport runs, which I didn’t even actually have to go on, yet due to my handsome husband of ‘hubba-hubba,’ losing the keys, then slowly deciding to lose his mind, I was up at 5.45am, blind as a bat, topless, in my kitty bed sheets, rummaging through a shimmery pink ‘throw everything in’ bag, hunting for them! NOT FUN.

He looked high, he looked low, he looked inside, outside, in his mother’s chamber…but no. No recollection of the keys anywhere!!  He’s good at losing the keys. He always loses his keys and his sunglasses and for some reason always believes that I have them. The thing about Keiran, is he’ll begin his hunt by saying, ‘I can’t find the keys anywhere…’ yet before he’s even had a look, which is really quite clever, as it makes the people surrounding him go on a giant key hunt for him, whilst he casually saunters about, doing his quiff in the mirror and occasionally picking up bundles of ‘on the counter’ bits and pieces, like a wallet, a tub, or a hat, to see if his keys are under them.

However, this morning, was an important morning…and because it was the morning that he was to pick up my parents and little brother, from the airport, who have finally returned from Burma…and he had to be there by 7.35am, or they’d be stranded, not knowing what was happening. #goodie. Keiran’s not a panicker. He panicked. (In his calm panicky kinda of way.) I was half asleep, pregnant, in the dark, rummaging, with no contact lenses in, boobs out and with a now very ‘UP’ Baby Ruby, who was determined to be part of the action, find out what ‘Daddy’ was actually doing and whilst also demanding a few merry verses of ‘I’m a little teapot,’ before hearing a ‘RIGHT BABE, I’VE FOUND THEM! They were in my jacket,’ and a ‘BYE Ruby,’ which left her in hysterical drama of ‘don’t leave me’ tears, that lasted a good 17 minute and that was after we heard the door slam closed in a rushy-rushy fluster downstairs.

Jeepers! I’m a Glamour puss. I can’t handle this waking up at 5.45am jiggery pokery to find keys. I gave him a quick blow jon last night, after watching some Chinese boxing movie. He hardly ever gets them now. It’s tiring. I needed my kitty cat rest for crying out loud.

Anyway, Ruby was having none of this ‘Bye Ruby’ malarky, so continued to SCREAM in utter devastation. So, there I was, former Hollywood diva, sex symbol of glory, still blind as a bat, left in a midst of an absent minded ‘key losing’ drama. Luckily,  a sing song, a cuddle and a warm milky bottle later, Ruby finally settled at around 6.35am, after she found solace in her Mother’s arms, which followed at least 8 good minutes of her DRY HUMPING MY BED. Is that normal? Like does anyone else’s almost 2 year old, dry hump things. It just looks wrong, but what can you do? I used to tell her ‘no,’ then I went through a phase of laughing it off and now i’m in the just ‘ignore it and make like it’s not happening’ phase of great parenting. 🙂 What do expect really? She’s being raised in the ‘Wunna-Thompson’ household, where everything’s sexy. I was completed exhausted…so i pushed back my alarm for a further 30 minutes and got snuggled up in my sheets, before it was time for the nursery run.

Madness!! Then my phone decides to ring and ‘bleep’ nonstop at me, until I’m forced to wake up and no…not answer any of my phone bleeps, but put on a bra. A ‘bleeping’ phone, on ‘constant,’ makes me feel uneasy, so i needed a bit of comfort and a whole lot of support. Bra’s work. They cradle you with love.

Good day on the whole. THE WUNNA’s are BACK, which simply makes me feel over the moon. I’ve missed them so much and well it’s just lovely to have my mum, dad and little brother back in the chilly Yorkshire snow. 🙂 I bet they’re hating it.

My mum came straight to mine from the airport, which always makes me happy. I like being her ‘first stop’ of love and well Ruby loved it even more. She screeched with utter delight when she saw her and was quick to snatch every holiday gift from her grandma’s loving pockets..followed by her ‘party piece’ the flipping ‘I’m a little teapot’ song and dance. Rubes’ll win ‘Britain’s got Talent’ 2022 at this rate. As the child carers and fantastic nannies at her nursery say, she is the most confident and gobby baby they have ever met. She apparently ‘comedy’ and the only baby that they can have an actual adult conversation with AND receive her input. It’s like ‘Family Guy, ‘ but Asian and Diva.

Like I said, wonderful day. Both the hubby and I have got lots going on work wise. I’ve got the book, another book and a show. Plus, we had a bit of a last minute phone interview last night for something in the future. I’m feeling lucky and very very calm. I’ve had the perfect day of preggoness. I’ve nested and napped all day in my absolute fabulousity and watched ‘Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ nonstop, which is now my FAVOURITE ‘Real Housewives…’ series and simply because I used to live there. I can relate to it better and well you can send me to Beverly Hills any day. Incomprehensible wealth sounds dandy to me, with a cuppa PG tips. I’m addicted to LISA VANDERPUMP and like all glamour pusses, I always tend to have an idol I wish to BE that I obsess over for months and months. They’re always rich, fabulous and delicious. Lisa Vanderpump is my current puss of all glamour and I just want to be every inch like her. She’s DIVINE and there’s no other way to describe her. If you’re going to be a girl, a woman, or a lady, being DIVINE is the key to being sexy! She#s worth $65 million, with a salary of $250,000 per series of the ‘Real Housewives…’ show. Not bad, eh? Gimme! Gimme! AND she now has her own spin off show, ‘Vanderpump Rules.’ I need her life and I need her life immediately. What a lovely woman. Made my day worth it. Then i took a kitty cat nap and got excited about the arrival of our new baby boy. #giddysmilehere

Yep, it’s finally sunk in. I’m having a little boy and i can’t wait for him to peek out of my ‘lady part’ and be warmly greeted into this world. Saying that..i keep getting these random alerts from Youtube, from people who are still watching the home video of the birth of Baby Ruby, that I plonked on there for people to see. The BBC version no-one has seen yet…and she’s now almost two. But the video’s we personally took, are up.

Some people are lovely and all ‘Team Wunna-What a gal!’ Yet most people..and do note i’m GIVING BIRTH here to my first born child, (so it’s a very big moment to me and I did looking fabulously…don’t hate,) are stil being hideous, two years later.

Infact, one dear fellow, I’m not sure if it’s a girl or a boy commented on the video of the birth stating that my vagina must of smelt really badly afterward!!! I mean, OMG!!! Would you ever!!! Then  another ‘Team Wunna’ champion, strikes in to defend my honour stating that i look beautiful and that people were being so cruel to a Goddess who was having a baby. Then another chump rambles on about me not being a ‘hero,’ because people do it all the time. I’m ore of a ‘whore’ than a ‘hero’ and once again simply because i’m in false eyelashes. 🙂 Jesus.

Their username is ‘Gingernuts.’ I say no more…;)

Love you all, hope you’ve had a wonderful day. I’m determined to make my kitty dreams come true and I so honoured to have to all with me…and all that mumbo jumbo. *Wiggle-wink.*

 

 

 

Lovely little roller coaster

 

 

Had a bit of a dodgy day yesterday. Filled with a roller coaster of kitty cat emotions, it was. I must have weept over every  kind of preggo snack and pillows cover going. I cried and snotted into scrumpled up bits of tissue, because I didn’t get my jolly own way. Then I trickled tears, with an added spark of SHOUTING in the office at my delicious husband of ‘handsomeness.’ I performed forlorn faces of dolly sadness, as I watched ‘Rocky’ be an old aged ‘Balboa’ late at night on the telly, because I was made to say sorry, for being previously shouty and cruel. 🙂  Then just like that…it all got better and after a packet of Roast Chicken flavoured Walkers and a handful of American Jelly beans.

Just before the evening nursery run, Keiran and I had a bicker, a bicker that turned into a fight. We’ve been really quite wonderful over the last couple months, because we’ve had zero distractions and been able to just ‘love.’ So, this little cherry, popped out of nowhere and when it pops, honey it BOOMS.

Now, with me being the way I am, delivering any news that I feel I must fight about passionately, in the name of ‘kitty cat’  honour and  all delicious morality, is not going to end well. I’m a feisty little fire cracker and when I think i’m right, backing me down is an impossibility unless you have axes. I’m not keen on axes. The sheer weight of them terrifies me. In fact I’m not keen on any weapons. I’m far less ‘ninja’ than you expect me to be. I’m not one for knives with a ‘slice me-dice me’ high kick. I’m more evil of a kitten *hiss,* karate chop, winker..before wrapping up warm in the comfort of my glamour pussy..ego. 🙂

Keiran used to be the same as I. However, these days he’s much kinder now, a more mature  spirit of positive beams, swording from his ‘Hero’ heights of glory… leaving me to look nutty, which actually goes quite well with pregnancy and fluffy, ballet pump slippers.

I stormed into the bedroom flinging my old clothes off, slamming doors, throwing my new clothes on and tossing my hair as I dolled it around in a mist of pink anger. Then, he lost his swag and joined me. Which is never a jolly little combination of spice balls.

However, the funny thing is, in between the spits of  our viscous words of fight, were little responsible love questions,

‘YOU’RE A ******* IDIOT, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE…..shall we get ready to pick Baby Ruby up from nursery? YOU MAKE ME SICK….it’s cold outside wrap up warm.’

It was nutty. But I shouted all the way down the stairs, out of the patio doors, through the slushy snow and all the way up to his work van, which would be travelling us to my little Ruby’s nursery. It was dark by then, as it was around 5.15pm. The things we were saying getting worse and worse and neither of us were backing down, nor were we seeing the other person’s view as correct.

He was quiet and snappy. I was loud and brutal. It was a display of good old juvenile banter and it wasn’t very becoming.

We arrived at nursery and everything calmed down. Our love for Ruby is magical and it can settle any ripples of anger immediately and with ease. It’s almost as if, you put a positive beam of innocence around us, we remember how much we love each other and how much we need to protect and adore our bambino.

We never fight in front of the baby, so everything went swimmingly, until she went to bed.

As soon as we got home however, Keiran began to be the peace maker, the grown up, the one who wanted to smooth away the negative and gleam it back to a spanking new happy energy. He let me cool down and approached with an open armed cuddled and a gentle voice of understanding, that softly oozed forward a loving aura of ‘lets make up, i love you.’

He’s been doing this a lot recently and every time he does, I just can’t stay mad at him and pretty much because I adore him and I want us to be ‘fairytale.’ He’s the man i’m spending the rest of my entire life with and i’m his little wifey. We love each other with a bond that is stronger than any force of nature. It’s almost a force that nobody could ever understand. A heated yearn of magic, frilled through with a swirl of  love. And i’d rather smear the bond we have with a happy tender harmony and a giddy stride of  fabulousity, than a brutal stomp of pride and stubborn kick of donkey. You know, that’s actually what’s good about us, the fact that we always want the same result and wanting the same result in relationships, be they old or new is vital, because you’ll go through blows and life will smack you in the face, when you really didn’t expect it to. Yet it’s not how hard the jolly smack is, it’s how much of a smack you can take and STILL keep getting up and moving forward, with a heart filled with love and the determination of a bull. If you can do that, you have found your ‘forever” and when you find your ‘forever,’ you really shouldn’t let it go.

I’m Chrissie Wunna and i’m a delicious dolly of diamond dipped joy and i’ll never back down if I believe that I am right, however i’m not stupid enough to let that pick away at the threads of the  ‘fairytale’ that i’m experiencing with my hubby.

We cuddled and sloppy kissed over Jelly Beans to one of the ‘Rocky’ movies and this morning he hugged me in the kitchen stating that we remembered were a TEAM.

I dolly-eyed him and apologized and we vowed to never bring anything up or into our bubble, if we felt it would plant a negative seed. Romantic relationships are about two people and always two people and it’s those two people who can either make it work or fail.

I’ve seen so many bows that shot out of Cupid’s little love arrow and lived the majority of them unsuccessfully, due to poor aim. 🙂 This time I know it’s right and together, now we’re the much more positive version of ‘us’…we’ll conquer our dreams and turn them into a magical reality.

When we work together we are a delicious rocket of dynamite and that is a force, we both know is unstoppable.

I’m really missing wine. Just over 4 months until I can have one..

 

 

 

 

 

 

Easy Target

wunna

 

 

Well yesterday I was used as an ‘easy target’ for a snowball fight, by my actual ‘thought he was doting’ HUSBAND. Now, we’re all well aware that he is of a juvenile manner and even though we ladies find that somewhat annoying at times, i’m usually quite alright with his manner..when I’M not the subject of his, what ill call BRUTAL 🙂 abuse.

Imagine that, there I was kindly offering to buy us lunch at our local, The Angel. A place i’m beginning to love the more I go and simply because it’s one of those walking distance places, that isn’t as snazzy at The Ritz, but isn’t as shit as…well i don’t dine at shit places, so i don’t really know any for the butt of my joke. 😉 The food is good, Joe the bartender is lovely and well it’s one of those village pubs, where everyone knows everyone and they’ll sip down a wine, or plonk down money for a pint, with the familiar faces they run into.

The ground was laiden with thick snow and we were walking in the midst of an actual beautiful fall of white flakes. You’d think it a romantic moment, a moment for any hero to take advantage of. But no…MY husband, becomes filled with excitement (the jolly kind, and not one where he gets up with a sticky snail trail in his joggers) and says this:

‘Okay Babe, you walk ahead, so i can practice throwing snowball, because you’re an EASY TARGET.’

WHAT!!!!

Surely he meant, that i was a glorious vision of absolute beauty, who he wouldn’t dream of repeatedly demeaning with a powdered icy ball of snow. He even PUSHED ME FORWARD, in order to get a good distance. 🙂

Now, i do want to remind you all that i’m now 5 months pregnant, with a beach ball of a bump, and not the mightiest of throwers if i needed to fight back, or even defend my pretty self against his ARMY THROWING ARM. ffs.

So, there I was all reluctant and screaming for my life,  as i tried to run forward and AWAY, as fast as I could. I waddled for my LIFE. Yes, all 5 ft 2 of me, in knee high fur boots, a big, warm brown, with beige fur rimmed, hooded pussycat jacket and freshly curled hair, that was now sprinkled with snow fall.

My intention wasn’t to run far enough to make the perfect target distance. Yet to run away for my life, so that he would forget to play and think he was losing me.

Foolish me.

The faster i waddled, the more excited he became and before you know it, i had a ferocious fire of white, puffy snowballs hurtling their way towards me, hitting my back, my side, the stony wall next to me, my leg, my dignity. EVEN MY FLIPPING BELLY!

‘That’s it Keiran, you knob! if our baby haS brain damage now, i’l tell him that it was because you’re stupid father wanted to throw fucking snowballs at you, when you were simply a BUMP!!!’

He didn’t stop.it just got more deadly.

After lunch, (which was beautiful by the way) I had to go through it all over again, however this time to the point where i literally only saved my pretty preggo self, by rushing as fast as i could, through my garden, slamming my garden gate CLOSED, waddling to the back patio door as fast as my legs could carry me, fumbling for my keys, leaping into the house  and then finally shutting the glass patio door behind me. *SLAM* One hit the door and just missed by head. My FUCKING HEAD!

I should’ve locked him out. But he calmed down and came in laughing, after I scorned him playfully for bullying me.

The rest of the day was spent working. I’m writing a novel, a naughty one of the glitzy variety. I’ve loved doing it and dedicated lot of my time to it, out of my love for it. SO, it was rather upsetting for me to be working on the book, after Baby Ruby, who had gone to bed. She had been picked up from nursery early due to all the snow and was simply knackered from singing ‘I’m a little teapot’ on repeat and painting…her clothes. (She is SO cute when she sings I’m a little teapot.’)

Okay, yeah, i’ve been writing the novel and letting Keiran read bits of it as i go along. It’s a good one and simply because i adore it and although it is fiction, it is based upon real people, who have inspired me enough to be characters..and their lives. I mean Jackie Collins (who i met when i did ‘Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend’) always said, ‘Write about what you know.’ You didn’t get to see that challenge on the telly and i really don’t know why?

Anyway, the story so far was great and had been adored my both my hubby and I. However, then i let him read a section (i’m only on Chapter 2) that was inspired by what he had told me about his childhood.

He read it, got all angry and banned me from going any further with it…

I of course stubbornly told him that I would be doing what i wanted and that he couldn’t control my work. I mean, I ask him about what he knows and take from it, without telling him how to do his job, his side of things. He likes to share and help me, but then tries to tell me how to write a good book…by editing what I should be putting in it. I didn’t like it. I don’t like people telling me what to do, when i know what i’m doing and I don’t like people preventing me from doing something I love. Especially, when it’s of a positive nature. (I mean, it’s not as if i was wanting to go out partying. I was writing an inspiring novel for crying out loud.)

I got huffy and went to bed, without him.

He thought about it and tried to talk to me about it last night. So i ignored him. (Nice and mature. 🙂 )

This morning, i was grumpy because I was so upset that i was no longer able to do something that I loved and well it felt like a piece of me was missing because I had gotten so into it all. I missed my Mum (who’s still in Burma) madly and because she’s always been an encouraging force of ‘Wunna’ when i’ve wanted to do things of a positive nature and for my career.

Anyway, i had a bit of a Princess weep, partly because i’m bratty and partly because i missed writing it. It meant so much to me…and i was sort of on a deadline, that i pretty much pulled out of.

Keiran tried to talk to me about it a few times this morning, but i ignored him and sent him on his way, out of stubbornness

‘I’m doing my face, leave me alone…’

So, there I was laid on our bed, secretly having a baby cry, missing my mum, throwing a pity party and being a brat and in strides my handsome hero, with a cuddle to say,

‘Look honey, i’ve been thinking and I know writing that story  makes you so happy. I could see how happy it made you and well you’re my wife and I want you to be happy, so i think you should get back to work on it. I’m completely fine with you doing it. I never want to make you sad.’

I played stubborn and said I wouldn’t  through tears and simply because i felt that he didn’t get to say ‘no you can’t so something,’ followed by ‘now you can’ in a manner of control. My ex-husband used to do that.

I wanted to do it, because i decided i wanted to and because he was now allowing me to follow my instinct. Men are bizarre like that, aren’t they. So when he utter the words…’the balls in your court.’ It was…and i flipped open my little pink notepad and (well this should say ‘got to work.’ But i didn’t i wrote a blog instead.)

So, now we’re all happy and back to ‘fairytale’ once more. I like that he wants to make me happy and I like that he didn’t let the hauntings of his own past, prevent the success of either HIMSELF or someone else’s future.

I’ve got a few work phone calls to make and a bit of breaky to eat and then i’m back on track.

Life is good. Hope your day rocks.

 

 

Bonking, Work and Novel Writing

brianphoto1

 

Morning my pretty wiggles of life!

I’m feeling great. I’m looking out of my window at all the laiden snow. My gorgeous hubby is currently doing the nursery run. (WE have major problems with getting up in the morning for nursery runs, during the Wintery seasons. I literally had to change a nappy, do tights, eskimo jumper, as Keiran did the pig tail and the face rub, on Baby Ruby this morning, dark, blind and half asleep, as SHE pretended to be on her phone and insisted on calling her lady part’ a ‘boobie?’ But like everything in our world…it worked. So go us. We rock!)

I worked really hard yesterday and was so impressed with my productivity. I loved it. I’m steamed through words, playing with sexy ones, and fantasizing all things delicious, in the form of juicy book characters that i believe will make my story a ‘ooh laa.’ On the whole. I had fun. However, once i was done with my 1000 words, i kinda wanted to do more and experienced some kind of anticlimax from it’s absence.

I did what all sexy wives do and took it out on Keiran. I think he wanted to go watch football and have a few drinks and i managed to go ‘Ninja’ on him for a moment…(I threw a pink plastic sippy cup at him in anger). I know, i need to learn control. I’m hardly very Tarantino. I don’t keep it kitten, when it comes to anger.

Anyway, it lasted a good second and then we did the ignoring each other thing that couples do, when they want to show that they’re mad, but they’re not really at all mad and they are actually DYING for the other person to breakdown and talk to them. 🙂 Nice and adult aren’t we.

The thing is, we’ve had such a wonderful New Year. We began it at Oulton Hall, found out we were having a Baby Boy, went on holiday for a week to hot tub in the forest…and now we’re back home. I’m excited because i’m back to work, back to being creative. I did the ‘cheeky weather’ for radio, I have a show on it’s way out and i’m writing a book…a naughty one. However, i think i need to be in the forest ALL THE TIME. Really. It’s truly my happy place and sort of my new crutch. I’ve substituted my wine drinking…with luxury forest cabin holidaying and i reallyl wouldn’t have it any other way. (Apart form maybe doing it with a wine. 🙂

I really do need to learn to not tantrum over nothing, I was even in joggers. GREY ONES! You can’t throw a tantrum in joggers. You’ve got to keep it fabulous in order for it to make full impact. (Ugh. I’m sooo losing my touch!)

Luckily, we had work to do, so after Baby Ruby was put to bed and i was so sure that we was going to let us go to sleep on a argument, something that i hate to do. (You last thoughts before you go to bed or vital. They can cement your mindset for the next 8 hours or so. What you think and feel in life, is what you get.)

However, he came downstairs, tried to make the peace. I noticed, yet still pretended to be a bit ‘off button.’ Anyhow, we both tottered upstairs, as he reminded me that we still had work to do and we needed to do it before tomorrow morning.

After 4 minutes of applying ourselves professionally, in our little office, we flew straight back to ‘fairytale’ with hugs, kisses and ‘sorry’ hugs.

I love him.

So, i’m glad that worked out swimmingly, as this morning our world is a treat! (I intend to work hard today also.)

Anyway, Ladies! Have you all noticed, or is it just ME who has to live this through, but ‘AFRICA’ (as in the David Attenborough show and not the lovely country) has seemed to have made ALL MEN horny.

Jesus! Since Keiran watched frogs and elephants *hump* in the forest, he’s bee filled with love juice and eager to chase me around life with a stonking boner, trying to poke it in me whenever we can. I mean, i did ‘put out’ in the forest cabin, on the sofa, in front of the window for him and it was delicious. However, i’m sure the images of elephants humping has made him a total hornball. A bit of a bonk is simply not enough for him, HE WANTS MORE.

So chicks, if you see ‘Africa’ on your telly tv guide, be ready to either switch the channel to something less sexy and RUN. Or…grab your crotchless panties and sit there with your legs at ‘quarter past nine.’ 😉 (I can’t do ‘quarter past nine.’)

I will tell you that FROG ARE NINJA, when they simply want a bonk. They were froggy plugging each others eyes out with their plucky toes of stick fest and fighting each other madly, just so they could froggy get laid. It was mildy erotic actually. So i’ve decided that ‘Attentborough’ is not really interested in nature at all….he’s really just a perv. 🙂

Have a great Monday guys!