Magic, Forest Cabins and Hand jobs

Good afternoon my pixie picks of sexual. I’m currently at McDonalds using their free WiFi up, due to BT causing me major home internetty problems that won’t get fixed for another week and a bit. The library…although sexy, felt a bit dullsville. So i figured i’d find the only place with free WiFi in Pontefract, which so happened to be McDonalds. I got here at the scrotty student lunch hour.

(This does not include my sexy friend Fran 🙂 )

Now, i love an audience and i’m childish enough to play up to one. Yet for some reasons, a giant MASS load of unwashed student boys or overly made up student girls, all crammed into one burgery joint place, does my little Glamour pussy head in. All i’m saying is, i’d prefer students to be BOUJI and treat all areas of life, like it’s a classy, chandelier cocktail bar, where they might be wearing sequins. The girls with odd round the face foundation marks glared at me. The young boys, did the ‘glare-glare-ooh she looked, lets look away thing,’ and well now they’ve gone, so i can now breathe a little and kick off my kitten heels. (I’d never kick off my kitten heels in a public place. There were nice students too, who didn’t look at me like i was about to steal their boyfriend, over a side of french fries. But on the whole…it’s much better now they’ve gone. *Sips imaginary rum punch, with a sparkler in it.*

I’m just gonna start off and simply to get it out the way, tell you that for the last entire week Keiran and I have been in More Magazine and we didn’t even know. I was literally at the Co-op yesterday, purchasing cough medicine and pills for the snotty nosed members of Wunna land and decided to search for cheap black boots in fashion mags. Picked up a ‘More’ and simply because it’s one of my faves, to ponder once in a while and there we were, wedged between a page of glamourous winter coats, or a ‘buy this razor’ page and the secrets of a ‘lads night out’ page. Yesterday was the last day you could’ve bought one, so since you missed it and since i’m one for a bit of ‘looky look’ here are a couple pics of the article about us, our engagement, and our marriage…in More. (We don’t even know where they found that picture?) This year alone Keiran’s been in More Magazine 3 times and i’ve been in it two, (because i’m apparently ‘Britains most high maintenance girlfriend?’ Hmm..better than being low rent. 😉 *Pass me my faux fur.*)

 

Okay, so hopefully all you ladies are finding lovers for Christmas and i do mean steady boyfriends, who you can cuddle up two during the cold winter nights, by a fireplace, whilst sipping Baileys on ice and making wishes upon stars? I really don’t want you to settle for ANYONE however, as random Christmas bonking is NEVER fun. It’s all tipsy, tinsel and tears and drunk dialing past ‘fucks’ for attention, when you feel like you’re not get enough. The season is ready for you to get sexy, feel sexy and snag yourself a male or a female, who is WORTH your time in cuddles, who’s maybe going to be there for the long run and who glows with a beauty that you secretly yearn for. Plus it makes present giving really lovely and adds a special sparkle to any stiff drink to Santa Claus the movie. I don’t really think Crimbo is a time for forgiveness. Yet it’s a time for change, love and magic. I place it in my ‘change’ column simply because i have a Dec 19th birthday. Meaning every December my yearly circle begins once more. So much has changed for me and my rather Handsome beau this year that it is almost impossible to put into words. We’ve not only met one another, become engaged after 5 weeks, married 11 months later, changed careers, lived, loved, fought and felt. Been happy, been sad, worked hard, travelled, been parents, done right things, doen wrong things, yet hit the ‘finale’ button filled with true love and absolute correct priorities. We actually ended the year with a new addition to the family, who will hopefully make an appearance around June 2013 and you just can’t get bigger than that.  (I love that our love child was conceived on a giant luxurious four poster bed, at Oulton Hall, in a elegantly huge suite filled with love and popped champagne corks.) I couldn’t be more in love right now and i look back upon the year and feel so completely overwhelmed with love, happiness and random life blessings that i didn’t know i actually deserved. (I always knew i deserved them really. 🙂 That’s the key to getting what you want. I guess, all that has happened is ‘so much’ and that ‘so much’ has been magical, so i couldn’t be more thankful. I’ve embraced the new people in my life, loved hard, welcomed old friends for new fun and cut out new people who didn’t and still don’t deserve to be part of the Wunna glitter.

Last night was a great night of family. I caught up on work related ‘blah blahs,’ i read through my More, i cooked dinner for the troops and served Brandy butter ice cream, with Baileys filled profiteroles for dessert. (A perfectly sexy Christmas pudding. You want to be feeding your ‘eye candy’ perfectly sexy dessert food, to get him going and to make him see you as wife. They adore food and well when you’re just the chick who he does a few shots with, or a pill…then you’re never going to be worth more than a bonk, whenever he feels like it. I’ve been the ‘shot girl,’ the girl who never wanted to be with the ‘party boy’ and the girl who finally got it right and found true love, after accidentally thinking she found it the first time around. I’ve tangoed to the theme of love from every angle and i can honestly tell you that i have never been happier than i am now. Never sell yourself short. Always know you’re worth and kinda always look good. That way they just can’t resist. So when you add a perfectly sexy dessert, a bit of booze and that look in your eye, which screams i’m ‘sexy,’ he’ll be on one knee and asking to marry you in a jiffy. With Keiran, i never felt like i was ever his girlfriend and i always weirdly felt like i was his wife. We just immediately got one like we had known each other for not years, but lifetimes, to the point where we both cut out all the bullshit and just loved. I was brave enough to tell him exactly what i wanted from him and didn’t agree to to anything sexy, shorterm or foolish. However, that’s just MY story. People meet in all kinds of ways and that’s how i know you’ll all find your ‘happy.’

So, like i had said due to a dodgy first trimester in preggo land, i had been feeling rather exhausted and not very sexy. I’d neglected myself and turned my bedroom door to ‘Soo closed for business’ until i find my ‘ooh laa’ again. But i think i’ve found it! I’m now feeling a bit frisky and bit like i can handle a bit of ‘hey hey baby.’ Poor hubs has patiently waited until he could find an opening to  introduce a ‘maybe’ poke. (Jesus that sounded creepy.) Yet last night, early morning, whilst we were tucked up in bed, under our sheets, cuddled up, in the dark, as Ruby laid fast on in her new little Hello Kitty bedroom, i found my sexy and decided to have a quick bally feel up, followed by a willy stroke, followed by a silent wankeroo, followed by an ‘ugh-ugh’ oh yeah-spurt,’ by my chunka hunka. He was one happy man and because although mild…meant i was BACK. Plus, like all men they love to me surprised ‘sexied’ upon don’t they, when they’re half asleep. They enjoy us taking control of them.

His smile said it all and well i felt super dooper sex kitten. I’m not sure how long it’s going to last, but i i’m naturally ‘ooh laa’ so i’m hoping i’m properly back. I thought of all the yummy things i could do to him and then just like that, from the next room to my left came the tiny baby voice of little Rubes, saying ‘Daddy-Daddy-Daddy?’ As she woke up to start her day. Life felt good and certainly still does.

Anyway, i must’ve done something right? (Well maybe not, as i am still sat at McDonalds blogging all this.) But whilst he was on his way to work, (he’s doing a lot of working right now  and i’m doing a lot of preggo resting) he gave me a call and told me to book a 4 day trip away to our forest log cabin retreat of luxury that we go to, as a birthday treat. Hmmm…a bit of nookie must of accidentally done the trick. Like i always say girls, food and sexy stuff gets them everytime. (No really, we WERE  going to go before the hand job. 🙂 )

So now it’s all booked, so for my little birthday of turning 32, which isn’t that long and thanks to my lovely bit of husband, we get to go away on a Christmasy holiday and enough birthday love, in our luxury (with a hot tub might i add) log cabin. This time we’re taking Ruby, so hopefully she’ll adore it. Plus, Keiran needs a rest. He’s knackered.

I really do have to go right now, as this McDonalds blogging marlarky is really tragico.

I love you. Thank you for following my life. Chill now for Christmas and don’t take life too seriously. Enjoy it and get your work head on next year!

Ps, My Mum has bought Keiran and I an early Christmas girft that she’s presenting to  us this Saturday. I wonder what it is??

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