Humpalumpa Toyboy

‘HUMP THE FRICKING SOFA!!!’

Honestly now…what is the point to having a fit, toyboy husband, if he doesn’t hump the sofa, with his bum out, whilst he’s cheeky ‘sexy eyes’ smiling at you and laid on his front with his legs apart???’

I had been sat on him, forward facing, giving him the best of wifey cuddles ever, to ease his exhausted mood of ‘umph.’ (He’s knackered due to a rather hefty work load, with a squeeze of travel, filming and a long houred day job.) Anyway, i lifted up and gallopped off to get back to work and theer ehe was all delicious and tired, looking at me like he could’ve bonked me if he had the energy. So i did what any Glamour Puss with a sexy disposition would do, as I was edged in a kitchen doorway and he was flopped on his front on the sofa, legs apart and told him to show me his bum and hump the sofa. 🙂 (My etiquette is extremely poor to say i’m a product of private education. But saying that Kweku’s in waaay more trouble. lol.)

He laughed, he joked, he sexy eyed me with a tease…and them refrained from performing. Infact, in that moment of our life, all you could hear was me shouting, ‘Keiran…get ya bum out., KEIRAN…BUM OUT! KEIRAN hump THE SOFA! GOD!! What’s the point in you being my toyboy husband if you’re not going to hump the sofa.’

He did do it eventually and because he can’t help himself. He to is gifted with a sexy disposition, loves me and with a playful attitude toward life, wants to please. I got a couple cheeky pumps and well the world from that point on was a better place. (I need to stop being a cougar. It really isn’t becoming. I’m embracing being old, far too much and taking advantage of it. But saying that he does. I wouldn’t have asked him if he didn’t try and have a feel beforehand. I’m old and hormonal. I can’t handle a bit of a feel and cheeky eyes anymore with any ounce of appropriateness.)

The good thing is that the moment perked him up and although he’s still a little glum (van drama, financial drama) he’s got a little happy twinge back in his face. Men are creatures who seem to always need to have everything, or be the best at everything in order to feel like a hero. Or maybe that’s just Keiran?) Hang on…a journalist is calling me…and i need to sound ‘in the zone.’ 🙂

Okay…i’m back and randomly flashing back the fact that new friend Fran, told me she was so wasted that she fell asleep with her mouth open and dribble, in a 4 star hotel, after breaking her nail on a headboard. She told me this story whilst she has a ladies etiquette book placed infront of her. I love her.)

I’ve been quite productive today, as i believe it’s the only way forward when all you have to do is wine drinking. I’ve been managing all my Facebook profiles, emailing, blogging and getting my groove back on. I mean, i’ve got to haven’t I, if i intend to at least attempt a come back.

LOTS of gentleman have been sending me really long, weird messages. Weird is fine. However, long is never good with me, even if it’s adoring and simply because i’ll skim it, instead of absorbing it. Not out of dumbness and more out of laziness. Some were nice. Most were nice. But there’s always that odd one from a chick, who likes to bitter tongue me, out of love. (Which is really my name for hate.)

All i’m gonna say is, if you’re going to be mildy evil..you’re insults have to be grammatically correct.Now, i’m not one for spelling everything precisely and simply because my mind works too fast for my manner and i simply find correct spelling tedious, when i feel lazy. HOWEVER…if i’m going to insult someone…which i rarely ever do, unless they deserve it. 🙂 I absolutely make sure i spell my insult correctly. It reminds me of a time before my wedding, when i was getting ‘drama’ texted by a girl. She couldn’t spell, which made me feel better. I won’t make her sound stupid, but she attempted to be really smart via text, one glorious afternoon and a single word that she unfortunately spelt completely wrong, made me feel like i had the upper hand. At that point, i felt like i didn’t need to put up a fight anymore and instead laughed, as the word wasn’t accidentally spelt wrong at all because she had attempted to spell it absolutely correctly. I was unfortunate that she just got it absolutely WRONG. Made me smile.

Can’t remember what else i was meant to tell you, so instead i’m going to drink wine and celebrate being me, as i reply to the journalist and open up about my life.

Life is great right now….however i’m currently utterly starving! I’ve booked train tickets and a hotel room for London on Friday and if anything that gets me excited, as it’s once again another adventure for the likes of the new Mrs.Thompson.

Thank you soo much for the love. The future is finally looking brighter. I’m feeling hopeful and doing life with my fingers crossed.

Love you. x

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