Feeling rubbish, to the point where i could quite possibly label this time in my life ‘The Worst any little slanted eyed Glamour puss could go through.’ I hate these moments in life and simply because even though i’m smart enough to know that they only last a short while before you whizz right out of the other end of the tunnel in a delicious glittery spritz of ‘conquer,’ the way through the tunnel is never fun and always far too dark for me to be able to handle…in stilettos.
Now, i’m not angry, nor am i sad to be honest..just (and in that motherly/teacher tone of delight) disappointed and being a girl that always needs to feel impressed by others always, in order for me to respect them, the weight of feeling disappointed (especially when your faith in what you believed in has taken a merry dent) is heavy and i was never any good at carrying weight. You all know i’m a ditcher when things get heavy and i don’t have the appropriate help. (Ugh, my head and body kills today.) *Gummy sticker here* ‘RUBBISH!’
The good thing about being Chrissie Wunna, is that i’m always one to peeky for the positive, even if i have to search for it, with my over eyelashed eyes, warm heart and fingers crossed under the murkiest of rocks and well..as always i have a great deal to be happy about. I’m here to ‘chicken soup’ you and inspire, not make you feel grizzly, when you’ve all followed by world so joyously and with a distinct sense of loyalty. (i’m grateful for that.) However, i AM honest, but what i know about life is that whatever bad happens, the good is always to follow and usually the bad that happens, is pretty much caused by us (yes our pretty selves) hitting the ‘destruct’ button…a button that i had abandoned many a year ago. Well i thought I had, yet it seems i do still have it in my back pocket (i never have pockets..so i’ll say clutch) incase of an emergency. Those moments in life, when you dip down to security grab onto that button are bad. Don’t do it….even if everyone else around seems to be. It makes you a much stronger person. Things are never ever what they seem.
Anyway, on Friday i decided to treat good old Kelly, Phil and Keiran to dinner and a hotel night at Malmaison Leeds. I love everything thing about that place because it makes me feel cosy, folded in with an ‘ooze’ of glamour. It was meant to be ‘Date night’ yet didn’t quite go to plan…as always. Lol.
Dinner was delightful. We dined, chatted and lushed over wine and good food. (Infact mid dinner, i recieved a text from one of my wonderful friends of ‘ooh laa’ who had just been given a pair of Jimmy Choo boots, by her very lovely new date, who simply wanted to see her smile. Followed by a surprise booking to a New Year ski resort for love, laughter and romantic, couply merriment. See romance IS still alive ladies. How SWEET! I don’t even get that and i’m meant to be one part of some ‘couple of the year.’)
But yes, good friends, wine and food…followed by a freshen up in our hotel rooms. (Rooms 323 and 324) Then came the partying. We ventured out into Leeds. Just did what most people usually do, Fibre, Queens court, Space…etc etc in heels…and that was pretty much our night for the whole rest of the night…nothing else happened but returning to the hotel at 4am, chatting in the hotel room, more drinking and waking up at 8.30am.
Saturday morning and the rest of Saturday (apart from the moment that my Mum came around to see me, armed with love, a ‘missed you’ in her eyes and a brand new laptop for her blogger of a daughter.) But yeah, Saturday…worst day of my life and from the moment, i opened ONE EYE in my hotel room, as i laid in the comfort of the yummiest bed, to the hideous sound of ‘are you awake now?’ (Next time, i’m going to get MY OWN hotel room and leave the party early.)
Now, i’m not going to go into the ‘what happened next’…as that’s why the Good Lord gifted us with brilliant imaginations to make life that little bit more exciting, or simply the way we wish it to be. But i did get home and when i did…(you finish the story.)
Life has certainly been put into perspective for me and with a giant ‘crash land.’ We all get dealt different cards and play out our own story. I mean, as one couple dines, in mood lighting with friends at a hotel, another is in her comfies, being gifted with a happy Jimmy Choo box filled with booty loved, another in that same moment may find herself laid on the floor in tears, as her beau beats the hope out of her and another may be alone wishing that the man she loved would simply just make that call.
The important thing is, that not matter what you take life by the horns and direct it the way you want it to go, without letting it, or the torments of world get the better of you. YOU WRITE YOUR OWN STORY and if you don’t like it, CHANGE it, without fear.
I feel lucky always and because even though i’ve chased a world of fame and fortune, i’ve learnt and always known that my only purpose in life and since 2011 has been to be a WONDERFUL Mother…and i honour that purpose every single day. Rubes saved my life and not a moment goes by when i don’t look at her and smile with gratefulness for her being in my life. She far too delicious for her jolly own good. I mean, just when i though i was one more bad relationship away from having 30 cats, out she popped with a ‘love me, love me’ and stole my little heart away forever.
I used to believe that you were only as strong as the drinks that you mix. But LADIES, we are A WHOLE LOT MORE and dollies, we rule this entire world!! So you make that money, you write those books, you adore your children, you keep it sexy and you make the most of every feminine gift that we, as women are so luck to have been blessed with…. C x