The Glitteratti & Fire Drills

Good afternoon my delicious winks of wiggle-fest. I’m back in the library..looking odd, as there just something about me that doesn’t look to ‘book wormy’ i guess. I mean, i wrote book (which i’m pushing after the wedding…so that’s on hold, until i can get my act together) and I on occasion like worms…(not ones that you find in dirt holes, but ones that are attached to handsome men)..so in my mind, i qualify, right? I walked in all smiles and light, then within ONE SECOND FLAT, the fricking FIRE ALARM goes off and everyone is forced to evacuate. 🙂 What is it with me? Not matter where I go, or what i do..there’s always ‘something.’ That’s why i daren’t get married in a church. I’ve always said it would be because i’m sin soaked and would burst into flames. Yet really…i’d be an absolutely fire hazard to all my guests. I’d look at Keiran, doughie eyed with an ‘I do,’ and he’d look at me with a ‘Can you smell burning?’…as we watch our guest burn alive. Not fun. Hence why snazzy 5* hotel is a much better wedding option for a Wunna. I’m still nervous about the whole thing and still mildy upset, as i want the day i become a wife (this time) to be raw, real and fairytale and i just don’t want the moment to be spoiled. But, i’ve had my morning cry and well we all feel a little lighter, when we’ve drained our kitten eyes of tears. I then wrote my vows, whilst watching ‘Real Housewives..’ and cried all over again. Lol. Weddings are emotional times. Luckily, afterward…i had bacon and did an interview with a magazine over the phone. It was mighty glitzy and very ‘Wunna 2007* and it was then when i realized, (and i ofcourse did say, nothing keeps my mouth quiet) that i’d officially graduated into ‘grown-up’ hood and was no longer the sequinned drizzled wreck of a tragic wine stained party girl anymore. I’m still sequinned. I’m still glamourous…that’s embedded in me through heart. Yet i’m the much better grown up version of myself now and boy does it feel wonderful. Especially because i always vowed to grow up ungracefully, only to find that when i did grow up, i went full circle, ended up in the place i began and actually more graceful than i ever imagined, with a delicious bit of daughter, a warm heart, stilettos and a dream man. I always remember my guy friend ‘Ryan’ saying that i’d probably forget to ever have children, that i’d be the last person to ever settle down and that i’d probably wake up in a tassled mini skirt at 60, in too much lippy, slurping a strong martini, as i’m laid out in bed rolling some toy boy, who wants money, out of my sheets and telling him never to call me.

That never happened and purely by accident. THANK.THE.LORD. I make fun, sensible decisions now and everything. I can’t even believe it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, at times i’m quite irresponsible, due to utter laziness. I find responsiblity over things i don’t care for much tedious. But on the whole…i’m GREATNESS. When I was little in Hollywood, everyone used to invite me to their big glitzy parties because they knew if I was there apparent ‘exciting’ or ‘dramatic’ things would happen. That happened in London too. I’d get everything for free, simply because i was a whirlwind of tragico in heels. Infact, i remember my good friend ‘Randy’ (a big Queeny gay in Wet Hollywood) stating that i had to be his date for a launch party and i had to wear feathers, simply because he wanted to pull his other gay friend, who adored me and it made him look ‘divine’ if his hag for the evening was moi. Hahaha. That night went fabulously bizarre. I intended to be lovely and ended up meeting a boy who serving me wine in a butlers outfit on a silver tray, who i now wish i never met…and on the shoulders of my gay date, guzzling champagne out of two bottle at one, by a piano, whilst Christina Aguilera sauntered in with 5 bodyguards around her. (I’m flash- backing forgive me.) Randy went home early to watch projected porn with his gay pull, in some giant Hollywood hills home. Apparently they deliberately projected it onto a wall/window..i can’t quite remember? This was so their hot neighbours, (who were actually straight,) knew they were up for it? Oh deary me. 🙂 Helllooo Hollywood.
I’m a grown up now…and proud. 🙂 Plus, it makes it much easier watching the young make mistakes because i can saddle up on ‘High horse Sally’ and preach. We all know i adore a bit of witty evil preaching. But enough of that…YAY to ME for being glamourously old and graceful. Hurrah! Who’da thought!?! I actually picked ‘class’ over ‘trash.’ I deserve medals. I think being a mum changes you…as you certainly make correct choices and you make them to set an example. (Just reading a story on a guy, who stole a jumbo jet? How did he manage to do that without anyone noticing? It’s not like he just stole a pie from the butchers. It’s a whole fricking plane goddamit. You can’t even get uppers or wine, past border control these days. So Lord knows how ‘Dude who’s about to steal giant plane’ got by. Priorities much!)
I have lots happening today. I’m trying to order custom made wedding shoes. My mum has been a legend and aided my every part of life today with love and support. Ruby is obsessed with booty dancing, which worries me highly and Keiran is away working…infact currently sleeping in the back of a van, as we speak. He’s excited for the upcoming wedding and that makes me really happy. Yet, i don’t know how he feels about my compromise because i never want to talk about it really and i never can because it makes me cry and we’ll end up argueing. 🙁 Yet he did text me with an ‘I want you to be as happy as you can be on our wedding day.’ But still…
I don’t know what else to ramble on about really? I’m getting ‘hit’ on quite a lot and isn’t that weird when they know you’re about to get wed. I think it’s how men work. They always want you to want them, even when you don’t. They want to win you regardless and simply for their ego. I’m also thanking my mother via the fine art of spagetti this evening. I’m not meant to be eating carbs ever…but whatever there is no better ‘thank you’ food than a bit of girly banter over carbohydrates. I’ll probably have a mouthful and then just down bottle shaped glasses of wine. Calorific….yes…but does this asian face care…nope. *Wink-hair toss.*
Shit, i’ve actually just recounted on my ‘not allowed to use it’ Blackberry, in the library and it’s actually three weeks and THREE DAYS, until i get married. Time is flying!!!!
My only advice to you, is to realize how fast time gushes by and make the right choices. Love the ones that truely care and do it with a smile of ya face, as at the end of the day, that is what matters when you’ve almost run out of 100 years of life. You’ll look at your family and wish you could have one more second with them. Plus, ALWAYS buy Wunna gifts. Our Wedding Gift Registry is with Debenhams, so you can all go online, or to a store quote the ‘Wunna/Thompson’ wedding and event number 363770 and buy me as many gifts as possible, because it makes me like you more. 🙂
THREE WEEKS AND THREE DAYS!!! *Jeepers.*
Love you,
Chrissie x

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