Life is delicious, yet OMG it’s stressful. I’m the little kitty cat of ‘ooh laa’ and now under a glitzy bit of pressure to perform. Don’t get me wrong, i feel amazing because now everything i’ve worked hard for is coming into fruition. However nobody told me that i’d actually have to work really hard. 🙂 There’s no time for a bit of a groom even and when that happens i’m lost. *Gin Here.*
Okay, yesterday i had BT, T Mobile and Baby Ruby drama, followed by work phonecalls, wiggles and trying to be a half way decent wife to be. Today isn’t so bad because (although i’ve had no sleep..thanx Rubes) i’ve managed to pull myself together and wing it with a wink and in stilettos. (I totally tripped over my OWN hot pink stiletto in public the other afternoon outside The Castle pub in Wakefield. Fell on my bum and everything. When your own footwear is against you, you’re pretty much fucked. 🙂 )
Right now, i’m filming, i’m sorting out the last bit of my book launch. I’m getting really nervous about it, and doing it all with my delicious little one year old in my arm…dribbling and my ‘handsome’ to my left wanting eggs. (The way to Keiran’s heart is certainly through his stomach. All you girls that tried to score him got it completely wrong. All you had to do was make him a bacon sandwich and you toooo would’ve had his foot whopped out infront of you, out of love, on the sofa, telling you to tickle it, whilst he tells you you’re beautiful, can’t wait to marry you and loves the fact that you’re going to be his forever. Fair enough, i have great boobs too…therefore tits and bacon really are the way forward.
My life is scheduling up and it’s all getting exciting. (I’m knackered right now so i apologise if this blog is crappola.) I get the first copy of my book this Thursday and i can’t at all wait to see it. Plus, well i can’t really even believe i’ve managed to do it. I mean i remember writing it when i was all preggo and waddling. Now i’m back to Glamour Puss, i’m being handed the book of my life, with a ‘well done-it’s going to the worldwide press this week.’ Like OMG…what??? I was tottering around my garden, mentally planning everything else i have to do in the world of showbizzy and well then it dawned on me, mid-phonecall…i mean i have a flipping book comin out. OF MY LIFE. (Keiran is currently being an attention whore. I let him work and even make him eggs. When it’s my turn to work, he prances around in his new tourist vest, trying to do anything he can possibly think of, in order to make me look at him. Including squeezing my boob. It wouldn’t even surprise me if he passed out for extra attention right now? lol Bottom line…i’m working…no-one cares about the tourist vest, that he intends to wear around supermarkets right now, with his ‘put’em up fisties.’ Well i do, but only when he’s not in it and we’re humping. 😉 I adore my hubby-to-be.
Okay, 2 shows, designing products, book launch, interviews, wife to be, mummy to a one year old, lots to organize and totally remembering the massive LIE that @Wazza told about me on national tv…when we were in pretend court!! Lol. I have a stream of voicemails. I’m really excited about all the buzz and all the work that’s coming in. I’m like a lucky accident of success. However like my good friend Ali said, there’s no point in me being stressed, when i do fabulous so much better. At the end of the day, like my gay friend Gary said, ‘you’ve certainly come up in the world from waking up in your own vomit.’ Woohoo! (Note: I did it in sequins.)
Anyway taking a trip to ‘Toys R us’ later..a year from now, you’ll find out why! You better all buy my book. Or i’ll be crying into rum, after lipglossing out of pity, because you all forgot to adore me. It’s all a go-go and well i’m loving all of your messages of support. Infact, lots of women are emailing me telling me all about their loves lives right now. Isn’t it funny how girls cling on to something for much longer than they need too and that men let go of things far too quickly. Just so you know, you can and will find your ‘fairytale.’ I did and i never ever thought i would do. Don’t not sell yourself short, feel sexy, feel empowered, be a woman and be delicious. A good man will find you and then cherish you without you even needing to down 22 sambucas and ‘put out’ to background dance tracks.
I must go, i’m getting work phone calls. I think i need to be far more professional? Here are the beginnings to two different work phone calls that were made to me, from head honchos who i need to impress. They went like this:
Headquarters: ‘Hi Chrissie, i’m scheduling and booking your train tickets to get you from a forest to the office. Do you have a pen lovely?’
Me: ‘I’m literally naked, in a hot tub and have no sight of a pen anywhere 🙁 ?’
Headquarters: ‘Are you with anyone in the hot tub and are they naked?’
Me: ‘Yeah Keiran. But he’s putting his pants back on now.’
Headquarters:’ Well i guess it’s only polite! haha. I’ve booked you on the 7.50am train.’
NEXT CALL: This Morning
Fabulous Buyer: ‘Chrissie?’
Me: ‘Hi!!’ (All excited)
Fabulous Buyer: ‘It’s [name here]…’
Me: ‘Yeah i know, i could tell your voice anywhere!’
Fabulous Buyer: ‘Why?’
Me: ‘Cos it’s pervy. Lol.’
Welcome to WUNNA LAND. Can’t wait to get married. That will be the highlight of my year! My book is currently on PRE_ORDER on Amazon (due to popular demand)…whilst we try to finalized the last bits of everything for you.
Big wiggles x ‘Diaries of a Glamour Puss.’ Order yours!