Back to Business

 

I’m finally back from my beautiful forest holiday and OMG how i already miss my time there. I crash landed back to reality with a *thud* and no *wiggle,* as the bustle of real life, got a jittering.

However let me take you back to my ‘Handsome Keiran’ and I’s delicious log cabin retreat. I’ll be honest and say that we didn’t really get off to a Wunnaful start…there was a dash of argueing, a drizzle of tears, a sprinkle of yelling. 🙂 However, by the time we got over ourselves and realized how lucky we were to have each other and to be cuddled by the depth of the forest in the sun and then under the night stars, our fairytale was back in order.

Basically, we engaged in a fruitful amount of naked hot tubbing, with wine, with tickles, laughter love and merriment. We talked life, we enjoyed each other (in more ways than one) and really found our little retreat quite quite wonderful. We had the perfect weather. The perfect time and well any moments in life, when you’re naked in heated bubbles, hosted by a shield of forest trees, in the open air, with the moon and stars peeking above you, with your glasses of champagne and your lips all a pucker…you know that life isn’t too bad afterall. We loved it so much that we both couldn’t really imagine not having our own forest log cabin one day. We had plenty of space, plenty of little luxuries, all kinds of ‘Adam & Eve’ tupe nature, but most of all we had love. When we have love and a hot tub…you have great sex. 🙂 And we had GREAT GREAT sex…everywhere…including a kitchen table with a We Vibe. 😉 *Wiggle-wink*

I do feel a bit bad for my ‘handsome’ because we were there to get away from everything, due to our lives currently being soo busy and rather scheduled…plus it was his ‘toyboy-i’m now 28’ birthday. But due to us now being on a show, we got there Monday, had to film Tuesday (we fought during filming lol) and then Wednesday morning i had to wake up at 5am…in the middle of the woods and get my pretty asian arse to London…for work. (I liertallyhad to travel 20 miles in a cab, in order to find a train that could travel me to my next filming destination.)  I didn’t get back until 10.45pm. That’s how long my day ended up being. However, that little bicker turned out to be worth it and simply because it made us in the end finally relaize how much we cared for one another. I love it.

More tubbing took place, lots of wine, more sexytime and a hnad built fire by my yummy hubby-to-be and well we were guided by the flames and cosied back into our ‘bubble’ with nothing but pure love.

When i got back, Kerian had left me a message on a scrabble board that we didn’t use, made out of the board itself and it’s little plastic square letters. It read:

‘Welcome Home…I love you Chrissie and can’t wait to marry you. Lots of love, Keiran. x’

How beautiful. I feel like the luckiest kitten in the world.

Our last couple of days there were AMAZING and we really got into our peace in the forest. yet before you knew it, it was check out time and there we were having to leave our retreat to immediately get flung into the harsh reality of life.

As soon as we got on the train back, he was bombarded by spreadsheets and a rush of having to get to work that evening. I had 17 voicemails, all demanding my attention. I had one from Nina at ITV, who has a show right now that she wants to talk to me about. Then the press wanted to talk to me in order to do an exclusive on my upcoming ‘very excited right now’ book, that’s about to launch. I had a couple phone calls regarding the filming that i’m doing right now and then an endless amount of the messages you only half here.

Life is busy and alhtough i’d give anything for one more day at in the forest. (I hate checking out of places.) I know i’m lucky and well today i’m gonna have to smash it all out and find my Daddy swagger of a champion. 🙂

Right now, alongside filming, i’m gonna have to concentrate on the book. I haven’t managed to talk to my publisher in a week and i need to, as now everyone’s calling and i’m having to do my interviews.

Anyway, i’m gonna sort everything out, and yeah, i’m totally in my pink supergirl pyjamas. *Blows you a kiss.*

But yeah, just a quick note to tell you i’m back, i’m busy, but totally still the busiest kitty cat in town. Keiran and i are wonderful. Baby Ruby is nothing short of delicious and well we’re a super busy lil’ family right now…however it’s nothing i can’t handle with a wine and in heels. When i can no longer to something with a vino in my hand and stilettos, i’ll then know i’ve completely lost my ‘Va Voom.’

God, i hope we do well and really become those little house hold names. We have so many exciting things happening to us. I don’t think i’ve atually absorbed it all.

What i learnt over the last few days: ‘You can buy youreslf anything, yet it it’s not filled with love, it actually becomes worthless.’ Don’t waste time being the person that you’re not. Enjoy what you have, when you have it and always do it with a wink.

Getting Kinky with Nature & doing it with love

 

I FINALLY ot my hubby back at 8.47am this morning! WOOHOO! All i needed was to have his eyes directly infront of mine and just like that…i could breathe. It feels AMAZING!! I’m soooo relieved. I mean, i know that to those of you who may be shunning my absolute delight, just know that i have pretty much spent every night with him since we’ve been together. I haven’t ever been away from him, without being able to touch him for a single day EVER…let alone 4 whole days. I’m a people person, a love bunny and although i’m terribly comfortable in my own bit of skin, i don’t like to both be alone and have the man that i love away from me. I honestly couldn’t function and didn’t sleep ALL NIGHT. Vodka did keep me company, alongside sad love songs..but i cried. Like a little girl, without her ‘forever’ i princess weeped. Yes..i’m even an attention whore, when there’s only my mirror image to watch on. 🙂 *Bronze here.*

But at 8.47am..the patio door went and i heard him. I thundered down the stairs and there he was, beaming, with open arms, an open heart and with eyes that told me they loved me. (‘OMG you are beautiful Chrissie! I missed you sooo much.)

I cannot even explain how magical it felt. I never want him to be away like that again.

Then we got right back to normal and i made him a cuppa tea, with a side of 7 eggs on toast, in my pleated denim mini skirt, and open white shirted boobie top. Big hair. Big lashes. Big smile. I’m over the moon and it doesn’t even stop there. I’ve just tucked him in. (He needs a nap because he’s been working hard, non-stop and through the evening.) I kinda have to do a brief ‘tuck in.’ Keiran can’t be naked and front splattered on my satin sheets, whilst i’m next to him. As soon as i touch him, he wants to bonky and well right now he needs to catch some Zzzz’s.

And why does he need to catch some sExy Zzzz’s??????Yeah my little hot dollies…because TODAY….WE ARE GOING…to our delicious luxury log cabin retreat embedded in sherwood forest and for 4 ENTIRE DAYs!!!! We can’t wait and well nothing is better than being in love, retreating to nature, being alone and in luxury in our beautiful cabin, (equipped with champagne and hot tub) and in the middle of the forest!!! It will be magical and not only will we be able to adore each other and relax. (Perfect way to unwind.) But we will be able to get super dooper sexy. I mean we haven’t had a bit of a ‘tickle’ in almost a week. We’ve NEVER gone that long before. I’m gonna eat him alive and give him the best bit of ‘ooh laa’ he has ever had. Infact, i don’t think i can even wait that long. We don’t check in until 4pm.

I’m currently tumble drying because i don’t really know what i’m supposed to take to the woods? I’ve pack frilly zebra print knickers and over the knee school girl socks with diamantes. That’s all so far. lol. I’m taking a bikini and all my work that i need to do for the filming. And well..i guess a pair of heels, incase i need to strut around naked in them, whilst barbequeing wouldn’t go a miss?

The forest people have just called me to tell me how excited they were for us coming…which i love. I have no idea what our time there will be like, but i just know we’ll love it. The perfect place for a bit of peace. I’ll miss Ruby like CRAZY. But luckily, she’s ‘all about Grandma’ right now. Last night she duck toddled from the sofa to the fireplace, with a face of ultimate glee…hit we with a giant walking stick, took my money and then cried because she wanted to leave with my mum. 🙂 I’m obviously a great parent. I adore it when she ‘throws a diva,’ because it consists of her lauching herself on her front, upon the cream floor and then fake crying until she gets what she wants. Once she does, she giggles..looks for Keiran and then wants to leave. 🙂 LORD HELP ME!

My mums been in Burma for the last ‘almost 2 weeks,’ so Rubes has missed her like crazy. l have the most wonderful mother, that only a little girl could ever wish. My mum is probably the best mum in this ENTIRE universe and not a moment goes by when i don’t appreciate her. I love her. However, she’s an even BETTER grandma, than she is a mum, so i know my little bambino is in the best hands possible. Rubes currently adores my mum because she bought her a necklace made of wooden watermelons. Lol. (I got hit with that too. At least she’s learning how to appropriate ultilize her accessories. However, being clobbered by wooden watermelons on string, is hardly my favourite, when sober.)

I really can’t wait to get to the forest log cabin and whop on my white robe, ready for a big chillax, with my ‘hubby-to-be.’ (Read this bit in sunglasses.) It’s is extra birthday treat, that i think he deserves for being such a wonderful ‘handsome.’ We’re doing life together and well if we could give you any advice it would be to love the people who truely care for you and make sure you do something in your life. A lifetime seems so long, but it really isn’t. Make sure you make an impact. Make sure you live out your dreams and love hard. Keep it sexy and keep it fairytale.

I read a tweet two days ago saying this:

‘Don’t promise when your happy. Don’t reply when you’re angry and don’t decide when you’re sad.’

Perfect bit of advice. I’ve learnt to refrain from blogging whenever i’m angry and simply because i want my blog to be ‘feel good’ and warm..now that i’m old 🙂 and i want my words to positively inspire. 😉 (Even though my book is a little inappropriate and i’ve totally made the Google Blacklist. ‘Chrissie Wunna’ is now a term that is seen as offensive on Google, along with ‘Carpet muncher, Pamela Anderson, Chocolate Rosebuds and Paris Hilton.’ Lol. I’m in good company. You know you’ve made it when you’re on a Black list. 🙂 ) Take a looky: http://news.haverford.edu/blogs/sexdrive/files/2011/01/wrong-results.pdf

But yeah, book launch going well. May 4th is it’s release date. I’m filming on Tuesday and Wednesday. I have a trip to London bit forest break for work. (No rest for the sexy.) But technically from now on i’m on holiday…as of 4pm today! Yipppeeee!!

I am going to try and blog from the cabin. But lord knows whether i’ll be able to. I’ve deliberately ordered internet access to the cabin and totally with champagne and simply because if i get eaten by bears, whilst bonking my handsome Keiran, in nothing but stilettos..in the forest. I’ll still need a drink after i’m dead and he’ll have to write a blog post telling everyone the news. 🙂

I love you all and hope you not only enjoy the marvellous weather, but also make you’re dreams come true. Love the people you’re meant to. Get your priorites in line and reach for those stars in the sky…because if you don’t…i’ll take them all before you. 😉

I hope my phone works in the woods?

Home of Robin Hood…here i come. (I should probably pack more than just zebra knickers?? Infact, i might not even them, if all i intend to do is smoochie woochie the ‘handsome’ by wood. 🙂 )

www.forestholidays.co.uk

Nearly Time for Bonking in the Forest

 

I cannot even begin to tell you how my last couple days have been. My trip down to London was amazing. Almost too good to be true. Yes, i’ve been filming and in good old showbiz fashion, i can’t tell you anything about it, until a years time. Life couldn’t be any better and i am truely astounded at how lucky I am. I’m once again grateful and well still having to pinch myself, under the night stars..the night stars that i stood under at 1am, the night before my early morning trip down there, after a phone fight with ‘away for a couple days’ Keiran. Don’t worry..we’ve made up. It’s just the fact that we’re not used to being away from each other and well the first night is always a bit hidieous. What i did learn was the depth of our love. We love each other so madly and well if a boy truely cares for you, he will always make sure you know it, regardless. Therefore it’s important that you Ladies feel empowered by who you are. A good man will come once you’re there and when they do, they will treasure you forever. Why? Well because you’ll glow with a confident deliciousness and a happy warm of magic. (On the train back i sat next to a man with a Bible who got chucked off the train for not having a ticket and swearing at the nazi conductor. 🙂 ) I also noticed a boy on the train boasting to his friend about how badly he treats women…like he was some kind of modern day Adonis. All it showed me was how tragic, lonely and insecure he was. (And he was doing ‘denim on denim.’ 🙂 )  Every man knows that a girl loves a ‘Hearthrob.’ A hot boy, with a warm heart. Only a young girl, loves a bad boy. We love romance and to be cherished and if he has a few extra quid in his pocket, then we’ll love them that little bit more. 😉 He looked at me like he had a shot. I looked at him, like he couldn’t even REACH to miss a punch in the Wunna league. 🙂 You can ‘play’ your random local hoochies, like a guitar thats on it’s last strum. But taking a Cupid arrow at  your little asian Glamour Puss really is a whole different ‘game zone.’

Anyway, i got ditsracted… I ditched the negative (after my ‘night before’ Keiran bicker) and got on with my positive. I woke up at 6am, slipped into my polka dot bra and fur booted forward onto 3 trains and two taxis to my destination. Long day, but wonderful day. I can’t believe how lucky i am. All i can say is AMAZING and i did it all in a pink polka dot bra. Woohoo! (I did have clothes on top. Well done me. Moving up in the world. 🙂 )

Got back home just after midnight and OMG, my body decided to give the good old middle finger and conk out on me. I spent the whole of yesterday, being the most ill a little glamour puss could ever be. I couldn’t move, i couldn’t talk, i couldn’t see, i had been dazzled over with a heavy ooze of the flu and when all you have are meatballs, you’re in trouble. I’ve actually really had no time to be ill, therefore i think my body just scheduled, ‘ill time’ in, whilst i was on my own. What i will tell you is that meatballs don’t make you better. EVER! There i was chewing on them, with my ever so snotty nose, squinty eyes and whilst printing out pictures of cock rings. (Love my sex life.) My good friend ‘Gary’ claimed it was like a porn. Now that i think of it, meatball porn with a snotty nose, really probably is as messy, but without the money shot. 🙂 (If i’m being honest i did whop out a vibrating ‘pocket rocket’ 3 times, in order to help me feel better ;)..you can take a floozy out of the bedroom, but you can’t take the bedroom out of the flooze and well i then proceeded to make homemade remedies in hope to GET BETTER, which consisted of everything everyone on Twitter told me to do (Thank you everyone, the remedy that worked was by my good friend Ali, who made me do the honey lemon bullshit. Then she got horny looking at trees and began threatening to wear no pants. ‘Just stilettos and a smile’ is what i suggested. However Ali went with ‘Tart with a heart.’  I do adore her and i AM making her boobs my bridesmaids. I’m passing her my floozy torch now that i’m getting wed. It’s like a slaggy relay. A ‘sexed up version of the Olympics.’)

Anyway before all that ‘honey lemon’ bonanza, i was doing Pringles with Tabasco sauce, to aid my broken body. LOL.  Very sexy. (Probably not to normal people, yet totally to Mexicans and carb lovers.) I don’t have time to be ill. I need to be well for my getaway and for filming. Luckily, i’m Chrissie Wunna and my friends knew that all i had was the ‘floozy flu’ meaning that the only actual remedy would probably be a shake and a gin. I think i’m missing Keiran sooo much that it can’t even function without him being near. (Anything to get out of the cleaning. 😉 ) I finished yesterday off, with no voice and wine, because i’m really sensible like that..with my aches and cold sweats…and well i will tell you that wine really does work. Yet probably only if you’re me. Apparently i’d ‘drink a a gallon of bleach if it was dressed up in a cocktail glass.’ Lol. (Thank you Gary.) This is why i’ll die a legend. Or well just keel over..without any glitter shadow, to sad love songs.

I Tweeted loads yesterday because i really had nothing better to do, whilst ill. It actually felt great, to get back in with my cyberland peeps. Now that life is busying up…i just don’t get the time anymore. It’s work, wife time and baby Ruby every moment. But it’s just the way i love it. I will say that i have HATED BEING alone without my ‘handsome’ hubby-to-be for the last 4 days. It’s been devastating. I’ve missed him so much and felt like part of me has just wandered off somewhere, into life, without me. It’s been awful and i’ve craved him. Yeah we’ve talked and he’s tweeted, yet nothing is better than having him in my arms, or just around me. We’re both like that. Yet he’s scored major points for tweeting this:

‘..not long to go and i’m all yours. You are the most beautifullest girl my eyes have ever seen.’

How could i not adore him! Absence is annoying, but it does make the heart fonder and my loins need a bit of ‘daddy love.’ Extreme bonking will be occuring once i get my grubby little ‘yay he’s back’ hands on him. I just want to have his eyes, infront of my eyes..so i know that everythings back to normal. I LOVE HIM.

ANYWAY, tomorrow…yes tomorrow, we BOTH finally remeet and venture off to our luxury log cabin, in the sherwood forest tomorrow, to relax, rejuvenate, enjoy each other in more ways than one (ooh i want him 😉 and finish off celebrating his birthday.

I told you that i had booked us a getaway, in a two storey, four bedroom, with champagne and a hot-tub in the forest luxury bit of ‘ooh laa’ and it’s finally here. I cannot even wait!!! I wanting to get there asap and with him by my side. He needs a bit of a chill-fest after his week of work, yet we will be filming on Monday, whilst we’re there AND then half way through it i have to go to London to do a bit more, during our vacation. I don’t think i’m going to let him out of the bedroom. (‘You’ve been a naughty boy..GET TO MY ROOM!’ 😉 )  Poor thing. My body’s never craved for him more. Lots of love, lots of rumpy, lots of fairytale. I can’t wait. Gimme! Gimme! AND it’ll all be around nature. Which Keiran really loves.

I’ve actually never been on a forest holiday before, so hopefully it will be magical. Oh and for those of you who thought i was going camping. HOW DARE YOU! I’m a Glamour Puss. I don’t go camping, or even glamping.. i can only do luxury. ‘Camping’ to me is wiggling to Kylie at a gay bar, in no knickers. There’s no tent in the forest…we’ll have a house and a fucking hot tub.

However, saying that, i’m just happy to one… be finally with my yummy hubbster and two…that i’ve inspired some of you to rent you’re own time in a forest log cabin. I’d let you come and visit us, but unless you’re good at swimming in a sea of ‘himbo-kitty cat’ semen, there’s no point. (To my gay friends..that does not mean you can come. 🙂 You mucky twerps.)

I actually have lots of work to do now and whilst i’m there for Wednedsay. I can’t wait, because life is so exciting right now. Plus, i have all my book stuff coming into fruition. I’m wanting it to all hurry up now and get on a shelf in a bookstore. I’m sooo glad i’m feeling soooo much better. Now all that’s let to do is tan and the world will be a better place. I cannot believe how much is happening to us in life right now?? And it’s only March! I love that i’m gonna get to bonk in a forest. HAHAHAHA. I adore my life!

Love you.

C x

 

 

Chicken bones, Boys and Filming.

 

Afternoony my delightful treats of ‘ooh laa.’ Today has been stressful, after the most magical champagne yesterday, with a dash of ‘hubby-to-be’ birthday and an evening with my absolutely gorgeous little baby Ruby. Ruby rocks my entire world and makes it sparkle with a soft, innocent, cheeky ‘va voom.’ I mean she pretty much cuddled Keiran all night and in the cutest way ever tried to communicate with us, in her little baby voice-voice. AWW! Most people attempt to teach their little one sums and the alphabet. We’re trying to teach her to ‘wink’ and giggle and high five, with a gummy smile, which i feel are far better tools to be equipped with in life. 🙂 Especially if you’re a Wunna baby. Woohoo!

Keiran’s gone away to work for 4 days, which i hate, because i always feel like he won’t miss me, like i would miss him and it sucks because it was just after his birthday treats. I’m one who always needs to know i’m adored, cherished, loved, idolized and cuddled. I love to hear it and do not at all deny it. I’m a kitty cat who loves loves. He’s just the same. Therefore in true Wunna style, after he left (and he didn’t want me to walk me to the taxi because he didn’t want to have to wave goodbye)  life got a bit ropey. I don’t know if it was because i missed him or if life..just decided to pull from under me…and when i’m in heels. (I tripped over a chicken bone in my garden today. How the hell did a chicken bone land in my garden. I mean, i know i’m asian and i’m meant to gnaw on them, before throwing them on the floor to save for later…yet who the b’jeeze was eating chicken on my lawn and without me even knowing..by golf balls??) Bottom line, i hate missing people i love because i’m far too childish to handle it. It takes the fizz out of my champagne. The ‘Va’ out of my ‘Voom.’ I already miss Keiran loads. Wouldn’t it be awful if he wasn’t missing me at all.

But yes the morning was panicky because i’m coming down with the flu and i felt like i didn’t have any help. I have a lot of work on right now,w ith the book, the blog, the filming of the show…add a lack of childcare…and no wine and you have a ‘hit panic button’ moment. I sure as hell did and i did what i always do…take it out on everyone else. 🙂

Long story short and after sorting out chilli meatballs, in stilettos and making my cuppa tea taste better by watching the ‘Real Housewives’ argue in their perfect tans, i managed to pull myself together, recieve the correct phone call, make another phone call and have everything put back in place. Yay! All with a wiggle and a hair-flip.

Tomorrow, i am on route to the Ann ummers headquarters for filming and i’m travelling all the way to

Happy Birthday Keiran

 

 

What a day! Okay, for those of you who don’t know, today March 21st, is my very yummy hubby-to-be’s 28th birthday! Yippeee! Now, let me tell you, we’ve been sooo busy with work, schedules, life, filming and parenting that finding time to fit in ‘birthdays’ has been insane. HOWEVER (my delicious winks of an eye) I am little Chrissie Wunna and if there is anything important to me, it is the art of celebration, life, lasting another precious year, love and birthdays. Nothing is greater than the day you graced this merry disco earth ball with your entrance.

I spent my entire yesterday mornin finalizing all my secret plans. (I bombed it around in taxi’s in order to make everything perfect for my yummy bit of handsome, who hasn’t been treated to a proper birthday over the last couple of ‘in the army’ years..Plus not only did he make birthday special, yet it is also my first time ever doing his birthday with him.)

This morning i woke up at 6am, all nervous, hoping all would go well. I hung up a ‘happy birthday’ banner in the living room, hide clues, stuck a letter up on the wall and waited.

At 10am this morning, (after the nursery run) he was given a clue to guess his first treat. (I had decided to not go with anything materialistic and buy him experiences, in hope to make a memory…i mean that’s all we have at the end of the day, when we’re rocking on that chair and moaning about how much better things used to be.) But yeah, at 10am this morning, he was surprised by trumpets, that secretly arrived in our garden and began playing ‘Happy Birthday’ for him. (I had initally tried to hire an entire orchestra to set up and play in the garden…yet they oddly couldn’t all make it…so trumpets it was!)

The second birthday surprise for him arrived at 10.30am, where there was a walk up our patio by four random men, a knock at the door and then after a jolly walk in, they burst into song for my little Keiran. I’d hired a barber shop quartet, who again sang ‘happy birthday,’ followed by ‘Hello Mary Lou,’ then ‘What a wonderful world, and then ‘The way to Armarillo.’ 🙂 They were actually amazing, had rehearsed for a week, really got Keiran involved and travelled from all over to come and sing for him…in the Wunna living room. lol

I then gave him Clue 3 and right on cue at 11.30am, there was another knock at the door and with a smile and a ‘Morning Happy birthday, i’m you’re full body massage.’ My delicious birthday boy was treated to a full body hour and a half aromatherapy massage, lights down, mood music playing and all as he was laid half naked on his massage bed, that the lady so kindly set up in our living room, under the chandelier. I love it.

After that, i gave him clue 4 and for his best treat of the day i had purchased us a luxury 4 day getaway to a forest log cabin, 4 bedrooms, 2 storeys, in the woodlands, with champagne delivered to our door every day, a hot tub, adventure activities, an in house chef, in cabin spa treatments, a birthday bonanza and a glorious time for us to remember…with prezzies. We leave on Mon 26th and we just can’t wait to go away.

(A bit of sexy, sofa bonking happened here. FIT! Keiran is soooo hot and well my boobs aren’t too bad for an oldie. 😉  I sat on top of his willy…in nothing but my fur boots. Lol. I liked his dirty talk too! 🙂 )

I then took him to a little lunch at a place we always go, who had set up a table by the fireplace with champagne. (We’d had champagne for breakfast, as he blew out his birthday candles..and well i’ve filmed the entire day.)

He looked at me with eyes that told me loved me. We’ve had a really randomly cute time. It’ll be even more amazing when we go away to out forest retreat! We’re so excited! Woodlands and hot tubs!

Life is really great and well i hope that if you had a birthday today, it was just as delightful!

(The first thing that happened to him today when he turned 28, was Ruby WEEING ON HIM. When that happens, you know your world is worth it.)

Can’t wait to go away! We also have more filming for the show over the next couple weeks! Exciting!!

28 today! I love you! xxx

Policemen, Break-ins and very sexy TV shows

‘Who the F*** is that!?!’

Welcome to our 5am wake up call. A knock at the door, a half naked lean out of the window by my terribly ‘Handsome Keiran’ and a visit by a local policeman. Yep! We were woken up by the ever lovely ‘policemans knock.’ This morning at dawn ‘o clock, some delightful little nuisance had made the executive decision to break into Keiran’s car..the car that travels us through each brand new chapter of life and steal money out of it. (‘Helllooo Monday morning!’) Now, i’m being quite nicey jolly about it all, yet really i scuzzy little chavs, who mill around breaking into other peoples property. Anything that causes ‘Wunnaland’ to stir and wake up at 5am in the morning, by a policemans knock…attached to a policeman who isn’t really a strippergram is quite perfectly annoying. My Handsome is FUMING. I mean it’s just awful when that happens and well i’m fuming because Glamour Puss extra-ordinare has just had to WALK..yes WALK to breakfast, IN THE WIND…due to waiting for the car to get dusted for fingerprints. MAKE MONEY. Don’t steal it. *Yawn.*

Okay, now back to the fun stuff! Not last even, but the evening before Keiran and I had enjoyed a bit of a barney. We had celebrated life with drinks and light lunches, managed to get into a bit of a ‘love tiff,’ which caused me to ‘Diva’ off to the car, leaving him in the restuarant, with my half a gin and then him deciding to go out and party until 5am in the morning (which i don’t enjoy at all) whilst i stayed home and looked after my delicious baby Ruby. ( I forced him to give me his pair of house keys. It upset him, so he rebelled and opted for nuisancing.)

I was sooo excited because the next day was my first ever Mothers Day AND it was my first day of filming for the new show that i’m on. YIPPEEE! Life couldn’t actually be any better. Luckily, after many of phone convo during the process of the evening, he returned with a more gentle attitude and a lovely morning ‘i’m sorry.’ Now, we’re back to ‘fairytale’ after a bit of quick ‘patch up,’ and i’m looking at him happily, knowing that he is my very true love. The good that he does for me completely out weighs the bad. Yet it doesn’t mean i’m going to let him get away with the bad. 😉 I’m a feisty doll-fest.

Yesterday at 4pm and after a massive clean and a play in the garden by baby Ruby, a gorgeous ‘Heather’ came around to come and film us for a brand new show! I am soooooo excited because it’s all happened so quickly, it’s such a WONDERFUL show and well i just can’t believe that i’m part of it! I’m over the moon and keeping my wiggle alive. I’m feeling confident, feisty, strong, delicious and quite quite marvellous. Our lives are changing so fast as each week passes. One minute, we’re on some random wedding challenge, thinking that was the height of our adventure, with the occasional nursery run and a book launch to organize and the next minute, we’re both filming for a big tv show and will be for an entire YEAR, for the most AMAZING and most  sexy project EVER!

We sat on our sofa, interviewed, chatted, filmed, got excited, opened up, giggled and had the most naturally amazing time. We’re both still in shock, but i’m sooo grateful and just ‘jumping up and down’ excited! (Ruby was being filmed too…clapping and stealing things, with her ‘comedy’ face was her forte. I’m accidentally raising an ‘it’ baby AND an ‘IT’ hubby-to-be. Yet i wouldn’t have it any other way. I cannot believe we’re on this project. I’ll tell you more about it later, when it’s actually absorbed into my kitty cat heart. The great thing is that i finally get to be ME, that glitzy, opinionated, warm giggled, bit of quite open Glamour Puss. I get to work with great people, great minds and have once in a lifetime kinda fun! It is insane how fast your life can change…so believe that it can, if you really are in a rut. Plus, it’s crazy how my ‘fairytale’ with Keiran is moving forward. We’ve accidentally started doing a lot of things (work-wise) together and now we’ve shocked our pretty little (blissfully tanned) selves! I’m brimming over with EXCITEMENT and Heather the director, is one of the most genuine people i’ve ever had record my journey. I’m really happy to be working with her…and mainly because she told me i was ‘unique’ and had this amazing ability to make people happy.’ Awww! It’s perfect when you work with people who understand you and well Keiran and i will be filming with her for an ENTIRE YEAR! (Oooh a Policeman’s here and stood on my patio. He’s not a strippergram.)

Right now, i’m bubbling over with a pure giggly happiness, i’m madly in love, i’m feeling sexy, i’m feeling lucky, i’m loving being a mum, i can’t wait to finish organizing my book launch, i can’t wait to marry my ‘hubby-to be’…i have a delicious surprise getaway planned for him for his birthday in 6 days and i’m a kitty cat who feels on top of the world.

I feel like i’m going to get to empower woman all over the nation and really help them find their inner ‘ooh laa.’ It’s perfect, it’s inspiring and it’s very Chrissie Wunna. (I’m even in shock, so Lord knows how Keiran’s feeling. One moment he’s in the army, the next he finds an accidental wife and now he’s filming a tv show.)

LIFE is WUNNAFUL!!!! Take chances, life, love and enjoy the marvellous things you have going on in your life. Ditch the negative and move forward with your bundle of ‘happy.’ Add a *wink* and a bit of a wiggle and you will have victory.

It’s all in a *wink*

 

Woke up at 7.45am, after accidentally falling asleep on the sofa, under a chandelier, with an untouched white wine spritzer by my side and a text from a journalist named Joe, who wanted to know my ‘Hollywood story’ for a popular British magazine, followed by an email from my publisher, who is mildy frustrated with me, due to technology getting the better of us. At 1.02am, i stirred myself up, locked my patio doors and slow tottered upstairs in order to indulge in my cream satin bed sheets, with my hubby to be and the glitzy fruit of my loins, who has accidentally become obsessed with a Primark pink ‘ellie’ named ‘Nellie.’ Nursery said that Rubes was the most ‘comedy’ baby they had ever looked after and because she side stepped with excitement like she was some kind of champion of the world, with an ‘out loud’ laugh…and because she was a drama Queen.

Yesterday was wonderful, but today i’m feeling stressed.Happy…but cock-eyed. (Which reminds me, i  slept in my contact lenses last night and woke up with everything being wonky.) Anyway…I’ve got a pile on of work to do and well i’m pretty much tango-ing with the art of ‘doing it all myself.’ I need an unwind, or a very big bottle of rum…with cocktail umbrellas and a lie down. Maybe just the rum would work? [Add bronzer here]

Keiran and I are on top of the world. I’ve never been so in love and well i can’t believe how lucky we are. After a bit of bonky yesterday on the sofa, we fell asleep in each others arms like there was nothing in the world more fairytale than us. Keiran is the man i have always dreamed of being with. He ticks every little box and well there’s not a moment that goes by when i feel madly in love with him. I LOVE IT! He makes me feel delicious.

On a more random note, i got lost in a field yesterday, that I thought was a public footpath? I followed it like a fool, in a giant beige faux fur and my dangly diamond earrings, thinking it would be some kind of shortcut, after trolloping over to feed my mothers cats…AFTER getting OVER CHARGED by a grumpy taxi driver who ‘accidentally on purpose’ forgot to give me any change. (Ruby is currently ‘giddy-uping’ on a pink rocking horse, in the middle of the living room, as Keiran does very loud horse noises, with the odd ‘yee-hhhaaaa!’ I adore Wunna land.)

But yeah, don’t wander down foot paths, unless you know it is a path for feet. There i was, dressed like a bimbo Asian Barbie, who was a ‘Miss.World’ wannabe, or should i say ‘Wunnabe’ ;)…in the of a never ending field FULL of dead crops and grass up to my little glitzy nose, with an ‘I’m sure this isn’t right?’ THEN a helicopter began following me, incase i decided to become troublesome in a crop field. I mean, i had my neon pink lace knickers on. Girls in neon pink lace knickers don’t cause trouble…we own trouble. *Wiggle-wink* I have no sense of direction. But i like that because it means i’m always driven everywhere. 🙂

Long story short, (add glitter here) i call Keiran from my field, who was on route back from ‘doing legs’ at the gym, to meet me for the nursery run. (I hope ‘doing legs’ does actually mean ‘working his legs out’ and not randomly going up to innocent people and dry humping their ankles?? I’m not a gym goer. I’m a wine drinker and a wiggler.) But yeah, i called him from my field and we decided to meet at the nursery. I back tracked, ended up having to walk through CHURCH grounds, surprised i didn’t burst into flames, read a few gravestones, and then like magic, my phone rang! I love being ‘saved by the bell.’ As moving as the gravestones were, there’s only so long i can exist in a place before the ‘glitzy’ gets the better of me and i wouldn’t have it any other way.

GREAT PHONE CALL! One of those where you end up galloping with glee through church grounds in Badsworth, as you scream down the phone and wait for your ‘handsome. Life really has gotten good for Keiran, Rubes and I…i really can’t wait for it all to ‘magic’ on down and I can’t believe how wonderful everything seems to be developing. I feel like a superstar!

Anyway bottom line, we’re gonna be filming very soon, as in two weeks approximately and well i’m so excited, i could burst.

Alongside that, i have my Fabulous mag interview, my book to launch, and now the show, WITH being a mum AND organizing Keiran’s big birthday surprise! I can’t wait.

Life and love is what you make of it. I do mine with a *wink*…and maybe, just maybe you should toooo! 🙂

Ps, I can’t believe that this time last week we were trying to raise money for the Radio Aire comp for charity…in wedding attire. lol We had no idea that this week our lives would yet again be changing. Amazing! Thank GOD, i’ve found my ‘forever.’ It makes everything else in life that little bit rosier.

 

 

London Filming…and Dildos

Life couldn’t be more delicious right now. Everything is accidentally free-falling, yet landing in it’s exact right place, i’m feeling confident, i’m feeling sexy, Ruby is an absolute delight and i am 100% bursting with love for my gorgeous ‘Handsome Keiran.’ (I watched him sleeping on the sofa just now and i couldn’t even believe how lucky i was to have him in my life.) He looked at me today and told me i was ‘the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.’ When you hear the man of your dreams not only say that, but at the same time show you that he means it through love, kindness, laughter and the most piercing eyes of ‘ooh laa’…you go all gooey-wooey on the inside and thank Cupid that you have found your ‘forever.’ We’re a proper little family now and well over the last week, we’ve become sooo close that even the tiniest giggle could make any heart melt with ‘awww.’ I’m happy and when i’m happy i’m strong. When i’m strong i feel sexy. When i’m sexy (add wine here) i’m GREAT! Like QUEEN of the WORLD GREAT! [Applause please.]

Okay so Wunna Land is still all ‘go-go.’ Just when we thought we had a little bit of a breather…we find our alarm sounding off at 6.00am and we’re grooming, baby changing, showering our tans off, rushing around, calling taxis and jumping on a train to London Kings Cross for our next little random adventure. Lovely weather yesterday. Couldn’t have been a better day! We had to take Rubes along with us, due to us not having time or anyone to help us with the nursery run. What i’m adoring about life right now, is that we’re all in it together. Wherever i go, i tow my little family with me. There we were giggling in our table seats on route to London where i was headed to film a little ‘something something’ and audition a little dolly bit for a brand new show. (I hope i did well.)

Anyway, the train journey was great, filled with bacon butties, side stepping, phone emails and me trying to totter down wonky train isles, in a lilac ‘booby’ dress and black stillettos. I’m sure i must’ve elbowed at least 42 people in the head by accident. But ah well, a *wink* can solve anything…and well i did do it with a bacon butty in my hand and infact also with the glitzy fruit of my loins, in one arm, who had quite glamourously pooed herself out of excitement.

We got to London, in what seemed like sunshine, hung around for a bit at a Kings Cross coffee shop for an hour, as Keiran walked Rubes up and down the store and paraded her upon a giant table, where she performed for any moment of ‘look at me’ that she could get. I’m quite aware that i’m birthed an attention seeker. Yet i can’t think of anything better than having a daughter and a hubby to be who are nothing short of ‘Me, ME, Attention, NOW!’ Add a tanned hero body, a kitten with the ‘ooh laa’ in her eyes and a baby with the giggles and a bow and you have the perfect little Wunna Land family. We’re all really happy right now and for once in my life, i wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. I feel really lucky!

After an hour, buying bananas, being over charged and running to a cash machine, we taxied over to Clapham, so i could have my go at a bit of auditioning for a show that i would really really adore to do. I’m really excited about it and well i trundled in all over eyelashed and loud mouthed, with my ‘handsome’ hubby to be, Ruby and a smile. There were already quite a lot of girls there, equipped with name badges, release forms and little personal bits of sexy. The team, the crew, the production, the everyone, where absolutely lovely to me. As the other girls sat down and got ready for their moment, i stood by the window, in my heels and boobs, playing to baby Ruby and admiring my hottie Keiran for being sooo wonderful.

I can’t tell you much about it all, (because i don’t want to jinx anything) but the day was marvellous. I had so much fun and felt comfortable, sizzle and absolutely giggly. Anytime you are going to an audition and you have a pair of zebra print frilly knickers in your hand, a camera in your face, being asked about your sex life, all at the same time as being a mum and a wifey to be, you know life is amazing. Infact delicious! I loved meeting everyone. I loved filming. I loved being a part of it all and i loved that i managed to take my little family…and all in chandelier diamantes, oh and a yummy orange tan. 🙂

Long story short, mid audition…where i got to chat to Jacqueline Gold (an amazing woman) who is the actual OWNER of all Ann summers store, (she looked beautiful, powerful, playful, yet gentle all at the same time,) she asked me to bring in Keiran and Rubes for a chat. Therefore off i tottered, up a little wooden stairway, to swing open a door and shout (ever so glamourous) in.

Keiran had no idea what was exactly going on and well Rubes loves anything right now, where everyone is looking at her. Jacqueline then asked Keiran, who was now stood next to me, in a room full of woman and other naughty delights, with Ruby in his arms and two cameras filming his every word…all about our sex life. (We’re both really open about it all anyway.) He blushed, he smiled and then he told them everything….which i loved because i had told them everything also moments before. I loved it. Really loved it.

After about 15 minutes, she then asked him to look around the room and inspect a few tables which we’re glamourously decorated with..wait for it…dildos 🙂 and liquorice allsorts and to then tell her what he liked. It was just surreal, funny and completely out of the blue. It was brilliant.

Anyway, we did all that, it ended up being brilliant. We filmed a little more and Jacqueline gave me a box of Jelly men, which are Jelly Babies, but with boners LOL…to give to Rubes, (who had been filmed that day also and who tried to snatch her diamond ring 🙂 mid-‘aww aren’t you cute.’)

After the audition, we hung around for a bit of lunchy and a few celebratory drinks. Keiran was shocked, giddy, but happy. I was delighted, delicious and over the moon. We had a couple of drinks, settled at The Belle Vue bar, got a driver to take us to the train station at 7pm and got on a train back to Yorkshire just in the nik of time.

I can’t believe how wonderful life is right now. We’re having so much fun. As soon as we got home, Rubes conked out after her milky bottle fix on the sofa and well Keiran and I celebrated our end of the day with a bit of nookie nookie. He was really sexy last night and bent me over for a gorgeous hump of hubby love. I love rumpy with him. I’m madly in love. It feels perfect.

We’ve had a marvellous morning, more sex (in my fur boots), Rubes is at nursery, i’m trying to sort out all my book stuff, i’ve over spent of Keiran’s upcoming birthday surprises, i’m missing my mum, i’ve bought a scrap book and i’m doing it all with a wink.

What more can i say? Be the hero of YOUR LIFE. Love who you are, who you’re with and the life that you live. Keep it sexy and you will make all your dreams come true. ( I cannot believe we met Jacqueline Gold yesterday, talked to her about our sex life. Lol. Amazing. AND we got Jelly Men with boners! Brilliant. Life couldn’t be more magic!) #veryhappy

Big wiggles,

Chrissie

 

 

 

When all you have is love and golf balls…

Good morning my delicious kittens of magical ‘wink-winks.’ I…your darling bit of Ultimate Glamour Puss, Queen of the glittery underworld and…idiotic piece of nuisance, am feeling ON TOP OF THE WORLD today. And why? I hear you cry!!! Well because i am, (what Cupid calls) IN LOVE! I’m on the sofa, in my stalker black oufit, with my diamante chandlier earrings embracing the sides of my great WUNNA mind and to my left, is ‘Handsome Keiran’ the ultimate man of my dreams. We are sooo perfect right now that I couldn’t even be happier. Finding your ‘forever’ really does make a grand difference to your life. When i’m in love…i’m alive. When i’m in ‘forever’ love…a love that i had never ever thought i would find…i can conquer this entire world. The way he is, the way he acts, the way he loves, the way he looks, what he says, what he forgets to say is my perfect and because he’s just like me! Add hot ‘on the sofa’ and then ‘on the rug’ rumpy..(i LOVE having sexy time with him, we can role play like no other, yet yesterday, when he was on top of me mid-thrust, i had never felt more in love..it was like i  had this whole chunka-hunka, all manly and delicious, loving me like a warrior of ‘ooh’) …then my dollies, you have victory. I enjoy having a toy boy yes, but i ADORE having him be my ‘forever’…when i’m  102 and sat in my luxury rocking chair with my rum and updo, i want to look to my left again and see him there, still telling me that i’m ‘the girl of his dreams’…but only if i ‘don’t lie.’ Lol

Life is busy right now. I’m having to go down to London on Thursday with my Wunna troops, for a bit of filming and a pair of frilly knickers. It’s a new project that i’m wanting to well at and i’m wanting to do well at it, simply because if there was anything that i’m good at…(and i understand i’m not good at much, but still maybe a bit better at stuff than you 🙂 ..yet only because i dollop rubbish in wiggles, cheek and charm, which weirdly comes off as ‘magic.’ Yippeee!) Anyway yeah..if there was anything i was great at…it would be this show. I get to embrace my inner ‘ooh laa’, chat about the art of tease and then quite candidly tell people what i want and hope that they care to listen. *Wiggle-wink.* But anyway, that’s Thursday, i need to groom before then.

Right now, the simply organizing of Wunna Land, plus Keiran’s ‘i’m a model’ schedule, is enough for me to jingle jangle. I’ve been emailing photographers, talking to my book publisher, promising to call people back (i’m crap at calling people back) and well i have about a month before i take the Wunna donkey on the road, and make magic happen with my book. (Which you all need to buy…or i’ll get angry at myself and be forced to guzzle rum in gutters.) Keiran and i have an adventure lot of things going on, it kinda seems like we were meant to meet and we are guided by the Gods. When one thing finishes, out of nowhere, ANOTHER thing pops up! The things we’ve done in a month are things that people hope to do in a lifetime. We feel really lucky and well i thank whoevers watching over us, for putting him in my path 7 months ago. It’s weird how you can walk past someone in a gym and only say ‘hi’…then a month later be engaged to them, living with them  soon after and taking on forever with them, with a giggle and a thudding heart. Our  story is a fairytale and well we’re a couple you accidentally ‘hit’ all the right buttons.

I should be getting a copy of my book this week. I’m excited about it all now and well i’m dying to have a read, which is bizarre really…as i lived it. I know what happens. But maybe reading it sober, will make me actually realize what i went through and maybe what a glitzy twat i am. *Purr..*

Y’know that they always say the one thing you remember from the day before when you don’t even think, is the memory you’ve taken with you. What i remember from yesterday..apart from when Keiran dared me to shout out that i LOVED HIM in the middle of Leeds train station at 15.37..whilst waiting for a Wakefield train by Platform 6. (The snazzy platform..and simply because i was on it…snogging. :)) I remember satnding in the back garden, in my beige faux fur, sunglasses, fur boots and diamante chandlier earrings, with my menthol..watching him hit golf balls. It’s the part of our life where we hit the *pause* button, and just enjoy it, alone, with each other and well yesterday in the sunshine, doing the most simple of things. I watch and giggle, he tries to hit a golf ball into a black plastic box at the bottom of the garden, talks about ‘not looking up’ and then complains because he’s lost his ball in my bush. 😉 Infact, saying that…i also remember scrubbing the carpet. ffs

I don’t know why i’ll always remember that…but i will.

Today, i feel AMAZING and i hope you do to! When you feel on top of the world, you really can conquer anything. Be a product of your imagination. Whatever you dream you can absolutely achieve…yet only if you try..and in heels? *Wink*

C x

 

 

Ya’ Win some, Ya’ lose some…and wine

This morning at 5.30am, my alarm went off, i relunctantly rolled my pretty booty out of bed, I groomed, i changed my delicious baby ruby, i gently told my handsome hubby-to-be Keiran that it was time to get up and off we trotted, in our white Radio Aire Lexus, to The Marriot Hotel Leeds, for the final results, live on air, for the ‘5Brides 1Wedding’ competition that we’ve been slogging away at all week.

We found out our grand total raised for charity yesterday after a quick last minute bag packing moment and well even though we didn’t feel safe and even though knew we had raised a lot for ‘Cash for Kids’…we wanted to win the wedding of our dreams VERY BADLY!

We found out this morning, live on air, whilst we were sat in a dark cherry wood conference room, that looked like something from The Apprentice, filled with PR people, a photographer and radio presenters that we didn’t. AND we found it all out via a process of elimination.(Terrifying.)  We actually came THIRD, after raising (and in ONE WEEK) £3607.50 for ‘Cash for kids.’ Therefore we’re grateful that we did it, because i believe that if you give back to life, it rewards you quite grandly and we want to THANK every single person who put a £1 in our bucket, let us pack their bags and helped out in ANY WAY. Even though we’re both sore losers 🙂 and we hate the art of ‘not winning,’ we’ve done a really wonderful thing and well i can’t think of a better experience of pure ‘do gooding.’ Infact, i can’t think of a better person to have shared this last week with than Keiran.

I swear on my life, we have learnt sooo much about life, each other and love in this last week of fundraising and this man, my man, is probably the most wonderful human being i know and i don’t even say that loosely as we all know i think i’m the best human being i know. We had a week of ups, downs, exhaustion, fights, happiness, hard work,  but most of all LOVE. I mean there were times, whilst fundraising where i would throw a ‘diva strop’ and storm off. He had moments of utter anger, where he threw my phone out of our moving vehicle. Lol. But last night, after a day with my beautiful baby Ruby, we sat on the sofa, in the calm lull and safety of our white wine spritzers and we loved each other like never before.

There were moments of quiet kissing, looks and cuddles. I mean we haven’t had time to rest and we’ve been through the ringer and back this last week. Last night, when i looked at him on the sofa, after Pete had come to pick baby Rubes up for a ride in her new  Hello Kitty Tricycle. I looked at him and re-fell in love with him. I never ever thought in my entire life that i would meet a boy like Keiran, who i would love sooo madly and so much that i would find myself falling in love with him more and more as each day passes. Over this last week he’s showed me nothing but strength and if there was ever a couple that were each others ‘perfect’ it would be us.

We have been through soo much together, from catwalk shows, engagements, More magazine, auditions, love, fun and well just everything. He’s my absolute rock and alongside Rubes…i feel like if i have him in my life, i have everything. We bring out the best and the worst in each other and well i guess we’re a couple that can conquer the world. I have never been this in love and we’re about to make our utter dreams come true. (We had great rumpy on the sofa last night too. I ADORE my rumpy sessions with the hubs! *Wiggle-wink.*)

I can’t actually believe we went out there and managed to raise £3607 in a week for children who needed our help! That’s amazing and well i’m so glad that we could actually be arsed to do it…as during the last week, we also found out who the charitable people of the world were and who weren’t. *Tut-tut*

For all the other couples, life pauses at this point. For us, it tumbles onward with a glittery spray of ‘more-more’ and a perfectly groomed male haircut. 🙂 We dedicated out last entire week for the Radio Aire tour, meaning a lot of things had to get temporarily tapped and shoved to one side. Now we’re back on it, having returned from the elimination at 7.45am and THEN doing a nursery run. (Rubes came to the Marriot with us…she’s our little superstar ‘IT’ baby.)

Now, we i have the book tour to sort out, my book is launched in a month, i’m having to approve the cover today, read it and book my launch party, followed by club nights, followed by a Radio, TV and in store book signing tour. Alongside that, i have another reality show to film, plus Keiran and I have unofficially been offered our very own reality show, he signs to a new agent this week, he has another catwalk show and  not only is he back in More magazine shortly, but he has his own stuff going on…

It’s all ‘go-go-go’ and well what i’ve learnt about not winning today, is that i will NEVER lose something again. 🙂 We had photos snapped, bouquets and all sorts handed to us today at 7am. It’s funny because we’re doing all these randomly amazing things, making every moment of our story worthwhile.

I am a very lucky girl and i’m even luckily to have such a wonderful hubby-to-be, who is my absolute best friend, my world, my yummy little toy boy and to have Ruby the light of my utter tragical, but still very Glamour Pussy life! Add a remarkable family rooting for me along the way and you couldn’t ask for more!

I can’t believed i bag packed for the region in a wedding dress!! I was never one for manual labour. 🙂 I was built for pleasure. Maybe i should stick to my strengths in the future. Lol. Keep it all dolly and keep it all wiggle. If i’m being honest we did think we would be the winner or the runner up. 🙂

I LOVE YOU!

Thank you to EVERYONE who helped us! (And to the ones that didn’t… 🙂 )


Life is about the memories that you make! Make YOUR history worth it!