My basket got judged..

 

I found myself in the middle of Wakefield, in the comfort of a shopping mall, WEDGED inbetween a multi-coloured bobble hatted, pearled, yet happy bundle of grannies today. Best potential gang bang ever. Cute, cuddly, not at all messy and hilarious. When you find yourself wedged between a bundle of grannies, who adore you because you are ‘beautiful…oh ‘int she beautiful…’ you know that you’re a winner at life. I love old people and always have and there I was (Hollywood, Kitty cat extra-ordinaire) on Feb 24th 2012, giggling with a bunch of merry pensioners, with beautiful hearts of gold. When i’m a granny, i’m gonna make sure i’m giggly. However, saying that..one of them did look a bit ginned up outside Ann summers, in her pearls. I’ll probably be that one. But in diamonds and with an apparent ‘attitude problem.’ I wear diamonds well, with or without an attitude. 🙂 Which is why i was devastated when i realized the Beaverbrooks had closed down in Wakefield. I’m comforted by the sparkle of that large, glistening bay of a window. Luckily i had the sense to Tweet my pain and as always and maybe because i’m amazing…Beaverbrooks immediately Tweeted me with love.

Other than that, a big morning meeting, getting Ruby ready for her nursery birthday party, trying to feel sexy again (i need a groom day) and pulling myself together for work, whilst *hair-tossing* at the *snooze-fests,* who spend their time gossiping about me, (i guess when people have nothing going on in their own lives, they gossip about the lives of others with disregard)…luckily, i’m sexy..meaning my outfit alone wins that war. 🙂 I’m my ‘doing well’ in my pink tank of ‘trying to go places- ooh laa.’ I gladly have a lot better things to focus on and that’s just what i’m gonna do.

 I’m happy today. Even though i managed to OVER spend at Primark. My gorgeous hubby-to-be is working away today and therefore sent me on an errand to purchase a bunch of black polo shirts from Primani. £4 each they were. Not sure HOW i managed to rack up a 3 digit figure in 9 minutes of ‘ooh that’s only £2.50’ ffs On the whole, money is money. The only thing that matters in life, is lip-gloss, honour, good judgement and love. 🙂 Add great rumpy pumpy on top of that with a ‘fairytale’ man who you’re going to do ‘forever’ with and a beautiful little girl and you not only have victory, but you have EVERYTHING. Dreams come true! (I adore having a one year old. I might be a bit more hippy now, yet it sure as hell is worth it. (Note: I do mean ‘hippy’ as in wobbly due to too many chicken wings and not the kind that sits in flowers, with a banjo and a love pipe.)

Keiran and I have had the most amazing last couple of days. We’re learning about how our future and how our life will end up working and how we are going to truly handle it all. We’re busy and working hard towards trying to be a success. We’ve laughed out loud, we’ve joked, we’ve giggled. We’ve enjoyed playful banter, alongside romantic living room talk. Yesterday we both laid on our backs, in the middle of the living room, looked up to the ceiling and talked. Lots is going on in our life right now, with book tours, filming, modelling and everything in between. I feel really lucky. We both do. I’m just making sure we’re careful and because this time we’re going to do it RIGHT.

We were in the hospital the other day, (Pindefields to be exact) where i was prodded and jabbed for a little bit of acheck up. We joked about it the entire time, behind our happy curtain of ‘am i sick behind pastels?’ Our curtains we’re all calm and loving and behind it, we were monstrous little twats of ‘ooh laa.’ Keiran’s hilarious because he’s always trying to get in on everything and be a part of everything. *Rolls eyes* Like the guy that thinks he’s the Doctor when you’re in casualty. There he was offering his medical services to actual medical people (lol) whilst doing horrifically great impressions of me (which is a hand on a hip, a smoke of a pretend cigarette, a strut, an annoying bitchy voice and a wiggle-wink, as he says something verbally abusive, followed by the actual words ‘WIGGLY WINK-WIGGLY WINK.’) I love it. But then found myself having to squat over a cardboard bed pan, on the loo and wee into it on demand. Glamourous. I’m sure i was meant for better things than this! Give me limelight. Not ‘Hi Christina, can you urinate into this & bring me back a sample for testing.’ I have a book coming out for crying out loud. I wave the flag for ‘ooh laa,’ sex appeal and good honest banter. Now i wee in cardboard pans. I’m obviously a WINNER at life! I will take you back to his impression of me. Although evil. I must tell you that it is much better than the impression he did of his OWN LIFE, after we had to sleep in a bus station.

Did dinner last night with the ‘handsome.’ I treated it to him and there were moments of extreme love. Then everything got spoilt for a while and we had a baby sized, where i stomped out of Comet with a face of thunder. Then we made up with love at Asda bizarrely, down aisle 8. Our love is important to us. We have the best relationship ever and our fairytale runs deeper than most. It’s magical. He makes me happy.

Unfortunately, we then had our basket judged. AGAIN…i only intended to go and buy a birthday cake and maybe a little card. Ended up racking up an almost £200 bill. The lady at the cashier lovingly glared at our moving belt of about to purchase glory and said, ‘You two don’t do things by halves do ya!!’ Funnily, she followed it up with a ‘You’ve bought NO food. Champagne glasses, and everything else in the world, but only a couple of sandwich fillers. But i guess if you’ve got it, you might aswell spend it.’

I mean we laughed our pretty little knickers off, until she called me a scrooge, after i moaned about Keiran ‘bleeding me dry!’ (Lol.) If i’m buying that boy goes to town. He wants and gets everything and adores it. He waits until i’m in a good mood and then pounces! I told her off for judging me…with a smile ofcourse! But i don’t go into Asda to get told off! I go into Asda for champagne, toilet rolls, every hand wash in the entire world, sandwich filler, a mop, a bin, two laundry baskets, crisps, a cake, champagne glasses, a loaf of bread, balloons and a fricking living room lamp. In fact WAIT…i also bought a truck, a hand held radio, a piggy laptop and fucking ankle weights!?! Ankle weight, Keiran! (‘Yeah they’re for you babe..to work out your legs..y’know when you’re at home!’ Cheeky fucker. I should’ve bought Gobstoppers and a whip.

Life is really great right now. I’ve just recieved a text telling me my book is ready for me to look at. OMG!!! I will so soon be in a Waterstones near you! Can you bring me gifts? As i’m sure that will make me like you more. 🙂 Looking forward to seeing the book and seeing all you with a wiggle and bit of cheap charisma. I hope i find my sexy before then. Being a mum can be exhausting. I’m a mum to Ruby and Keiran. They’re both..what word am i looking for? Oh yeah.. MENTAL. Really excited about the More Mag feature on Tuesday, we’re both in it. In love. Feeling ‘ooh laa.’ Doing well at life and loving your messages! Thank you soo much for them, my inbox is now busting over and bouncing you all  back due to ‘fulldom’ with baby Ruby birthday love! I’m trying to save it all to show her one day. We adore you too. It means a lot!

People always ask me how i’ve managed to do alright at this whole ‘life’ thing. Well i accidentally accomplish things because i’m an action girl. I don’t talk about it. I do it. Keiran’s like that too. But he more knows what he wants, knows how to get it and isn’t afraid to try! Add good looks, a personality, love, discipline and laughter…with a side of hot pink heels and you have a leathal combination. We’re gonna do well. We’re really happy about that! I just don’t want the drama of others to interfere with it all, because we have too much to concentrate on right now and that is far more important.

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