Love, Leap Years & Jolly Old Threats

  

Afternoon my little peeks of porky pie. I woke up this morning feeling on top of the world, after a rather ‘dramatic’ day before of that jolly old feeling  we girls often tango with…insecurity. Yippeee! A little something occured, during the morning of yesterday, that made me feel uneasy. My ‘handsome’ decided to read me out a message that made me remember how many undecent people there are in the world, and just like that, i hit *panic* button, felt lost, questioned my merry stability and got all terrified of being hurt. 🙂 Luckily in this world we have wine. Lots of it. After a bit of the old ‘love juice,’ a nap, hours of pulling faces, stomping around in my boobies, diamantes and weeping. I realized (whilst Tom Cruise was on horseback with the Japanese) i realized that if you love a man, cherish him, make him feel like you trust him wholeheartedly with love, then they feel alive and like they can conquer the world. Very rarely then…unless you’re dating a complete dick (and not the good kind) a man will let you down. Now, i’m not saying that either of us are wonderful,we are both senstives, who want more than anything to be adored. Yet we really do take everything out on each other at times and well i hope we’ve both learnt that that behaviour is never okay. If you have the partner of your dreams, then you’re lucky. People search for that type of unity their entire lives. We’re lucky and i’m now feeling marvellous. Yesterday i felt like my internal security was toyed with. But then i realized that i’m probably the best little chick in this entire world. *Wiggle-wink* Thank you rum, you saved the day. I’m glad i feel much better now. I mean you know you’re an idol when you have your picture taken by bacon. This morning and due to builders…i scored a free ‘breaky in a box’ and then had a fan want a photo opp…by fried food. I’m certainly A-list. I hope the lofty heights of fame don’t go to my head. 🙂

Lots to do today. I read through my publishing contract this morning on the sofa and got really excited about the whole book thing. I can’t believe this little blog, has got me a big old book deal, and on a bit of white paper, it states that my ‘Diaires’ will be found on the shelves of all major bookstores worldwide, in many foreign languages and maybe be turned into a film. What?? Like i Tweeted last night..behind the makeup, cheap jewellery and slanty eyes, there’s just a girl that wishes for the world. Everytime i felt shitty, there was a tweet from a lovely human being of the world, that made me feel like i had a purpose once more. [Glitter exploison here.]

Book.  Book Tour. Book signings. Raido/Tv tour. Launch party. Club tour. Tv pitch. That’s my cuurent life. Add baby Ruby, Handsome Keiran, a wedding and my little glitzy fingers crossed and you have it all. I think? And drama. I’m back in the bubble today. However, my handsome is still slowly side stepping in. We’re a funny old couple. I want him to feel cherished. Last night he asked me if i just wanted to marry him because i decided to chose a random good looking boy, to be my forever and he just so happened to be in the right place at the right time. We were laid in bed, it was dark and i was naked looking at my wall shadow. I replied with an:

 ‘I’ve had 19 other people ask me to marry them. I’ve said NO to every single one of them. I said yes to you because i love you, i trust you and you are the man of my dreams. I would NEVER just marry a man because he has a tan and a boyband hair cut. (No offense there, to the one with the tan and the boyband haircut.) You don’t choose a forever on looks, because looks are forever. They fade. If you choose a person on their goodness of their heart, then it will last forever, well until their heart stops beating.’

Then i must’ve passed out on my rum, with milk by my bed because i can’t remember what happened then? All that matters is that i woke up happy.

Like i said, i’ve got a lot to do. My head is buzzing. I have words to write for the 2nd book, parties to organize, and a bundle of work that terrifies me. I’m getting really excited now and really hoping it all works out.

I’m adoring your messages, they make me feel alive. I love you. I love life and i thank you all for it.

Hope you have a good day and i hope you single girls have asked you handsome to marry you today! It’s been all over the telly and it’ smaking me fill up with love. Apart from when i totally missed what was going on, on This Morning and tuned in too late where couples seemed to be randomly feeling each other up? (‘No Chrissie the woman have asked the men to marry them! You never did that for me!’) In my defense- I never asked Keiran to marry me simply because he fricking beat me to it. (He’s a bit grizzly today. Hopefully i’ll be able to perk up his mood.) I’ve joked about how our relationship is based upon love, romanbce, magic, honour and threats. 🙂 Lol. He’s a cute little grizzly. I’ve peeked at him numerous times today and he’s been going MENTAL. One minute he’s yanking paper out of a printer, yelling at it like it’s destroyed his life and then rolling around the floor for no real reason. The next, i’m offering him love and he’s scowling at me from behind a laptop screen, out of pure grizzliness. Lmao. Lord knows what he’ll be up to next. Yet hopefully he’ll find his ‘happy place.’

Hope you have a wonderful day!

Ps/ I love that i thought i had sent a text to Twitter, when i actually sent it to my mum. It read: ‘I’ve just flopped my boob out on Keirans face. It looks like a seal and he now wants to live under my shirt.’

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Oopsie! My mum never even mentioned it.

Love, seal boobs & More Magazine

 

..so here I am, on my living room sofa, under a chandelier, in my pink supergirl pyjamas. I once met ‘supergirl’ in an LA elevator, with my good friend Tyler. Weird really, because she looked quite hormonal for a lady who saves the world in movies. *Wiggle-Wink.*

I’ve just accidentally flobbed my right boob onto handsome Keiran’s face, mid-morning snuggle, as he laid on my lap for a cuddle and a bit of ‘i love you.’ It looked like a seal. A stranded one. However, it couldn’t have been that bad, as Keiran, my hubby-to-be now wants to live under my top. He loves a bit of ‘mummy’ love and i love how baby boy childlike he is, when it’s morning cuddle time. I woke up this morning with heartburn (glamourous,) Ruby weeing all over me and thinking that Keiran didn’t like me. I thought wrong. He looked at me on this fine Feb morning and said, ‘I really do love you. I’m so excited for our future, as individuals and a couple. I can’t wait to do forever with you.’ Aww.. i mean, it’s just the kind of thing you want your dream man to say really, when you’re a deliciously ageing Glamour Puss. I’ve always been disappointed in men that ive romanced. Yeah there’s been hot ones, good ones, big ones, hood ones. Yet when they decide to hurt you, in that moment when all they had to do was make the right decision… it’s funny how unattractive they become, right? I adore Keiran and I trust him. I’m quite thoroughly  impressed with how well he loves me and how romantic he is towards me. (God, i still need to tell you about my pre-Valentines gift…magical it was.) Neither of us are easy people to date. Yet because we’re the same, we ‘underneath it all’ understand each other. In my mind it’s better to do life with someone who’s just like me. I’m the best person I know. If you’re not like your other half, then maybe it’s like trying to jam the square peg, through the round hole. *Giggle-hair-toss.*

Okay, accidentally i was highly productive last night. Whilst the hubby tended to work. (I admire him for his super work ethic, yet don’t enjoy how worn he becomes from it. I want to take care of him. But i know that shortly we won’t have a thing to worry about.) I made a few work phonecalls for us both (I manage him, when i’m not hormonal) and well just like that i secured a couple more meetings that take us a glitzy baby step forward. I feel on top of the world when i succeed. Like love, it makes me feel alive. [Wine here.]

After work last night, when i was having a vino and he was exhausted from work, he asked me why i wanted to do ‘forever’ with him and ‘why i would’ve said yes’ to him if he proposed to me after the first week? It makes me worried when he questions my love for him, because i’ve never loved anyone the way i love him. Therefore it must mean i’m a rubbish girlfriend? But anyhow 🙂 i tended to wine and remembered that no good story ever began with juice. It may have started with a tonic, yet until it had the gin spritz, it never really amazed anyone. I’m the gin spritz in anyone’s tonic and for some reason it terrifies people. But ah well…i think i’m an outstanding model of ‘W.O.M.A.N,’ fizzed over with ‘ooh laa’ and giggles. We had good *rumpy* yesterday on the sofa. All i’m gonna say is that the art of role play is still alive. We have great bedroom chemistry..even though i prefer ‘comfy’ sex.I think i’m a traditionalist. I’m modern but genuinely like to keep things old school.  Or…just old. 🙂

Anyway, this was just a quickie. I’m having to try and organize my ever so delicious book launch party, where i’ll invite family and friends to come celebrate my written life and buy my book out of courteousy. 🙂 Then i think i’m going on a couple VIP ‘Wunna’s Book Launch’ club parties, just to get you all in the mood. I’m really really excited for it now. I actually still haven’t seen it yet. It makes me really nervous. (Flashback of how mental Ruby was last night. I loved it. I truly have spawned a DIVA.)

Before i go, make sure you buy your copy of MORE magazine today. Both Keiran and I are in it…in the ‘Real Life’ features..and we’d love for you to worship it. 🙂 I haven’t managed to buy one yet, as i haven’t mastered the art of slipping out of my pyjamas. He’s filming his showreel today and i’m organizing parties. Life is great. Loving your messages (apart from the one that i recieved yesterday, that was written in full spanish. I thought it looked quite romantic, until i realized that the only words i understood were the words ‘open’ and ‘vagina.’ Men! Who created them.

Go buy More Mag…

Glitzy bit of ‘Ooh-laa’

  

Tried to scratch my own eyes out in my sleep last night. 🙂 I guess some might say i have ‘issues up’ much, however through my Dior’s, all i see is a passionate insanity. I was in nothing but white lace knickers and woke up next to my gorgeous hubby to be ‘Keiran’ (who is the Greek God of the household…who’s not at all Greek and just wanted a cuddle) and well there I was in my Ackworth bed..with black eyeshadow smeared upon my face, after my beautiful attempt to gauge my own dreamy eyes out. Lord knows what I was dreaming about? I mean, I watched ‘House Bunny’ before i went to bed. That’s not terrifying. It’s more my entire rosy life of ‘bunny.’ (I enjoy that i live like a bunny, but in Pontefract. I’m always clining onto my Hollywood past and trying to decorate my world with it, even if it doesn’t quite fit. Maybe because i’m an attention whore? I’d got better from that little disease if love, but now, i’m kinda back to full force ‘Look at me’ due to the excitement of my upcoming book. I’ll never learn. Yet i think i do ‘attention whore’ really really well. There’s ‘Chrissie Wunna’ and there’s Chrissie Wunna. The only difference is that…well i dunno? I think i’ve come so far that i’ve morphed them both into one.

Bottom line. If you tried to scratch your own eyes out last night. Don’t worry. You’re still sexy. Honest! *Wiggle-wink*

Handsome Keiran and I are MADLY in love right now. We’ve had a tough tough week of work, stress, deadlines and friendship. He recieved a scary text from ‘The Great Wunna before Me’ (my mother)..which made him feel a little weary. Yet after a little bit of Wunna Family love at ‘China Palace’ in Doncaster. (Rubes was ADORABLE. My little glitzy daughter is certainly getting her personality right now. I caught her peeking at old ladies, from her high chair, with a pork dumpling in one hand and ‘One Direction’ in the other,  then giggling at them, when they sighted her, before frantically trying to hide.) I taught Keiran how to use chopsticks and summon his inner oriental, whilst my mum, dad and brother gobbled down our feast of dim sum love.

Before we sat down, i had a fan. I’ve felt like i haven’t had a proper one in ages. Kevin was his name. We were fumbling around with perfect hair and diamantes, trying to work out how a high chair works for Ruby and there he was lovely ‘Kevin,’ sent by The Gods to make me feel better about myself. With an ‘Are you Chrissie Wunna’ and a ‘Can i have a picture’ we had a chipper little banter about life. I felt his heart beating fast, mid-pose. I introduced him to Keiran, Ruby and my mum and then as he said he was ‘excited because he had met someone famous’…i told him i was ‘hormonal.’ I mean for crying out LOUD Chrissie. Why ‘I’m hormonal?’ I really do need to finely tune my banter. I’m more of a ‘tell everyone the truth’ kinda girl. Yet i’m learning that glitzing the truth over with magic and a wave really does work better. (If you see me waving at you, i’m practising…so go with it..and make like you know me.) *Wiggle-wink-scratch your own eyes out.*

Lovely dinner. Keiran felt much better. Even though it makes me sad to see him down hearted, it sort of warms me up to him because he wants to be loved. We’re both creatures of that nature and i don’t think anyone can love him like i can. Last night, we got back into the bubble for good. We’ve had a stressful couple weeks, but now i think about it, it was always down to other people. Our bond of fairytale has and is always strong. We both want to do well. I’m securing our financial future. (You all need to buy my book because i’m over spending and gonna need your book love oney in order to buy lip gloss. 🙂 ) And well we’re both under a great deal of work pressure. His life has completely changed and to be honest i think he’s adjutsing to it perfectly. What we have is ‘more than love’ and as a couple we are unbeatable.

Okay, so this week i should get my ‘proof’ copy of my book. I want it to do well and i want it to be of great quality. I want it to be adored and read all over the world by the masses, so that everyone can have a quirky bit of Wunna with them on their travels. I don’t know why ‘having my life’ put out there in book form puts me under pressure, because i do it every day? Yet it does. Maybe because i feel that now i will be under scrutiny and well i’ve completed run out of rum. Rum and scrutiny go well together. I quite like a bit of bronzer and party popper streamers with it too. Your call.

Whoever called me the other night at 4am needed to not be ‘unknown.’ I hate ‘unknown’ calls and mainly because i don’t know who it is. It’s like a horrific mind game and messes up my hair-toss for a moment.

I’m glad the drama is over, because by hubby-to-be and I have chosen to ‘dump it-curbside’ and once again i am feeling appropriately adored. I’m loving all your Tweets and feeling a little more wanted again. Really excited about the book. I haven’t seen it yet, but will tell you what i can,when i can. I’m looking for a place to throw my book launch party. Not for the signings, but for the celebration of the ‘Wunna’ book. I’m thinking one in Leeds, one in London and well the first copies of my book will be there for you all to buy, before i take it on tour and it goes into the stores.

We’re in More Magazine tomorrow. Make sure you buy yours!

 

Keeping it Fabulous

 

Morning my precious lumps of giggle-fest. The sun is out and i’m feeling appropriately adored, therefore i’m glistening over with a wiggle of joy. Add ‘ooh laa’ to that pot of gold and you have ‘UMPH.’ I feel powerful today and i don’t even have my rollers in. *Wiggle-wink*

Okay, yesterday i performed my high class ‘Made by Primark’ fashion show. Not of the catwalk variety. But of the ‘Chrissie Wunna’ PRETEND catwalk variety, where you throw on anything you own that you have purchased from Primani…turn it into an outfit of ‘ooh’ and strut. My strut began by a kitchen sink and sort of ended with me bent over a black and grey sofa, in a tight leopard print skirt, GIANT hot pink heels, bouji red ‘only £3’ sunglasses and the most generous diamante chandelier earrings known to mankind, in the name of ‘rumpy.’

My jumble of Primark outfit, obviously ended up slaggy. I mean, that’s all that I was wearing, with maybe a bit of dignity. 🙂 It seems that Keiran likes tarty girls, because i tottered into te room all ‘Look at me, watch my fashion show’ and it all got the better of him. There was a ‘party’ in his pants, followed by a ‘party’ in mine.  I think I just rock ‘stripper chic’ well. Better than most girls and simply because i can make it look Hollywood glam, instead of Wakefield chav. In fact, i will say that slutting it up once in a while, or all the time really does wonders for your sex life. I actually feel most comfortable when i’m dressed slaggy-glam, with a side of attitude and ‘over the top.’ I love everything to be over the top and pour over the sides with luxury. Now i know you can do that on a budget. Thank you Primark. Only asian Barbie fashion show i know, that ends in a bonk and a ‘wipe up.’ *Wink.* (I’ve noticed that i can only do slaggy attire, or posh and n othing in between. However, they do say that what you wear, represents your personality. I’m no fence sitter. I’m ALL or NOTHING and once i’ve picked a Team…you will never make me budge. *Glitter shower here.*) Oh but kittens note…the slaggy fashion show only works if you’re comfortable with being whorey. 🙂 If you’re not, you’ll just look like a nun in a gay orgy.

My handsome and I were starving all day because we had to wait for a work phonecall in order to proceed with the day. I’m not good when i’m hungry. I’m feisty anyway. If i’m not fed…i’m furious. I mean, still sexy, but furious. The living room was filled with work props for his new (what i call ‘Dell Boy’) money making scheme. Keiran’s hardly a ‘Dell boy’ but then again he does recite me poetry called ‘Connected at the…nose,’ personally freestyled by his own master of a mind, in order to show me love. Therefore his sanity could be questioned?

The phonecall finally came and we ventured out to The Castle for dinner. The Castle is now NOT my favourite place to dine. Don’t get me wrong the food there is to DIE for, yet i’ve noticed that everytime we go, we end up in a fight. Dinner began, it was great, aside from the fact that he started our dinner time, by texting through it. I then decided to text, in order to not look like a moron.

Wine. Good. The starters. Fabulous. The conversation. Lovely. (I mean, he told me how happy he felt in life right now and how our future was going to be amazing.) Then came the ‘stuff that doesn’t matter’ drama. Ended in us both taking ‘storm out’ moments, bickering, fighting our corners quietly and then with Me attempting to walk home…in my hot pink heels in order to have the wind hit my skin. (I got honked at a lot.) He actually came and found me and picked me up in the car, with a ‘please don’t do that again, you had me so worried.’ But I truly would’ve walked the entire way home. Thank god i didn’t, my fuax fur would’ve gotten the better of the drunks. Yet I was calm, we both made up and tried to get back in the bubble.

In relationships it’s important that you know what battles are worth fighting and which ones to not give a shit about. People tend to remember the things that don’t matter, and forget the things that do. Not me. I have extreme life experience and i KNOW what’s important in life. Hence why i’m an achiever. Therefore, from now on i’m one by one cutting anything that causes me any form of uneccessary drama out of Wunna land with one glitzy *snip,* so that i can focus on my book and my family. I mean, whilst people waste their time gossiping around a table about the latest ‘Wunna’ antics..i’ll be concentrating on promoting my book and actually making a future for myself. The smart people get ahead in the time that people waste. People waste time, when they have nothing going on in their life.

On a more lovely note…(aww Ruby is being adorable right now and offering me ‘cheesy puffs’ for attention,) i’m feeling appropriately adored. Yesterday, i recieved 419 inbox messages from gents and young ladies telling me that i was an inspiration and well telling me that they would like to take me out on dates and would buy me shoes if i went. Men always try to buy me, because i know i love a good old dollop of the ‘Princess’ love. I’ve been offered plane tickets, marriage proposals, thousands of pounds, a future and everything in between from gents this week. Although flattered, i’ve ignored them all. I’m engaged to be married. But even if i was single, i wouldn’t need all the ‘fuss.’ At a time when i’ve been feeling down, or emotionally attacked. My fan mail has really perked me up.

I’m not sure what happened last night, but a flurry of lovely inbox messages came my way, when i was deciding to miss Hollywood and it certainly put a smile on my little face. It kinda makes me rememebr that i do have a TEAM WUNNA, even when i don’t think i do. People who don’t even know me will fight my life corner for me and when you have that, you have everything. I’ve loved reading your messages, they’ve made me feel powerful again, sexy again and happy. I want the world and you’re helping me get there. I owe you everything. It’s funny how your fans, kinda end up being your boss.

Last night, i snuggled with with Ruby and watched the Marilyn Monroe documentary with love. My handsome was out working and didn’t get back in until 4am. He’s still in bed now and well later we have a late family lunch with my parents. Our life is wonderufl right now, underneath a layer that needs to be winked at, in order to get it scraped off, so that we can breathe. I believe that we have a strong bond and an unbreakable one and i believe that even though i’ve been through a great deal of love and heartache in my life…with gin, in tinsel town and in heels, that we’re the strongest team alive. He just needs to learn the ropes. But i love him and i’m going to do life with him. Why? Well because there isn’t a better person for me. He’s good to me. I’m good to him. We really can take on the world with our love. No-one knows ‘us,’ like we know ‘us.’

I’m feeling chipper today and i’m lucky to have so much going on. I’m staying in the bubble and keeping things ‘fairytale.’ I love you all. I think i’ll have that ‘cheesy puff’ now. *Waves at you-giggles.* Oh and Dolls, if you’re not being Fabulous, then you’re really not living life right. 🙂

Have a beautiful day x.

My basket got judged..

 

I found myself in the middle of Wakefield, in the comfort of a shopping mall, WEDGED inbetween a multi-coloured bobble hatted, pearled, yet happy bundle of grannies today. Best potential gang bang ever. Cute, cuddly, not at all messy and hilarious. When you find yourself wedged between a bundle of grannies, who adore you because you are ‘beautiful…oh ‘int she beautiful…’ you know that you’re a winner at life. I love old people and always have and there I was (Hollywood, Kitty cat extra-ordinaire) on Feb 24th 2012, giggling with a bunch of merry pensioners, with beautiful hearts of gold. When i’m a granny, i’m gonna make sure i’m giggly. However, saying that..one of them did look a bit ginned up outside Ann summers, in her pearls. I’ll probably be that one. But in diamonds and with an apparent ‘attitude problem.’ I wear diamonds well, with or without an attitude. 🙂 Which is why i was devastated when i realized the Beaverbrooks had closed down in Wakefield. I’m comforted by the sparkle of that large, glistening bay of a window. Luckily i had the sense to Tweet my pain and as always and maybe because i’m amazing…Beaverbrooks immediately Tweeted me with love.

Other than that, a big morning meeting, getting Ruby ready for her nursery birthday party, trying to feel sexy again (i need a groom day) and pulling myself together for work, whilst *hair-tossing* at the *snooze-fests,* who spend their time gossiping about me, (i guess when people have nothing going on in their own lives, they gossip about the lives of others with disregard)…luckily, i’m sexy..meaning my outfit alone wins that war. 🙂 I’m my ‘doing well’ in my pink tank of ‘trying to go places- ooh laa.’ I gladly have a lot better things to focus on and that’s just what i’m gonna do.

 I’m happy today. Even though i managed to OVER spend at Primark. My gorgeous hubby-to-be is working away today and therefore sent me on an errand to purchase a bunch of black polo shirts from Primani. £4 each they were. Not sure HOW i managed to rack up a 3 digit figure in 9 minutes of ‘ooh that’s only £2.50’ ffs On the whole, money is money. The only thing that matters in life, is lip-gloss, honour, good judgement and love. 🙂 Add great rumpy pumpy on top of that with a ‘fairytale’ man who you’re going to do ‘forever’ with and a beautiful little girl and you not only have victory, but you have EVERYTHING. Dreams come true! (I adore having a one year old. I might be a bit more hippy now, yet it sure as hell is worth it. (Note: I do mean ‘hippy’ as in wobbly due to too many chicken wings and not the kind that sits in flowers, with a banjo and a love pipe.)

Keiran and I have had the most amazing last couple of days. We’re learning about how our future and how our life will end up working and how we are going to truly handle it all. We’re busy and working hard towards trying to be a success. We’ve laughed out loud, we’ve joked, we’ve giggled. We’ve enjoyed playful banter, alongside romantic living room talk. Yesterday we both laid on our backs, in the middle of the living room, looked up to the ceiling and talked. Lots is going on in our life right now, with book tours, filming, modelling and everything in between. I feel really lucky. We both do. I’m just making sure we’re careful and because this time we’re going to do it RIGHT.

We were in the hospital the other day, (Pindefields to be exact) where i was prodded and jabbed for a little bit of acheck up. We joked about it the entire time, behind our happy curtain of ‘am i sick behind pastels?’ Our curtains we’re all calm and loving and behind it, we were monstrous little twats of ‘ooh laa.’ Keiran’s hilarious because he’s always trying to get in on everything and be a part of everything. *Rolls eyes* Like the guy that thinks he’s the Doctor when you’re in casualty. There he was offering his medical services to actual medical people (lol) whilst doing horrifically great impressions of me (which is a hand on a hip, a smoke of a pretend cigarette, a strut, an annoying bitchy voice and a wiggle-wink, as he says something verbally abusive, followed by the actual words ‘WIGGLY WINK-WIGGLY WINK.’) I love it. But then found myself having to squat over a cardboard bed pan, on the loo and wee into it on demand. Glamourous. I’m sure i was meant for better things than this! Give me limelight. Not ‘Hi Christina, can you urinate into this & bring me back a sample for testing.’ I have a book coming out for crying out loud. I wave the flag for ‘ooh laa,’ sex appeal and good honest banter. Now i wee in cardboard pans. I’m obviously a WINNER at life! I will take you back to his impression of me. Although evil. I must tell you that it is much better than the impression he did of his OWN LIFE, after we had to sleep in a bus station.

Did dinner last night with the ‘handsome.’ I treated it to him and there were moments of extreme love. Then everything got spoilt for a while and we had a baby sized, where i stomped out of Comet with a face of thunder. Then we made up with love at Asda bizarrely, down aisle 8. Our love is important to us. We have the best relationship ever and our fairytale runs deeper than most. It’s magical. He makes me happy.

Unfortunately, we then had our basket judged. AGAIN…i only intended to go and buy a birthday cake and maybe a little card. Ended up racking up an almost £200 bill. The lady at the cashier lovingly glared at our moving belt of about to purchase glory and said, ‘You two don’t do things by halves do ya!!’ Funnily, she followed it up with a ‘You’ve bought NO food. Champagne glasses, and everything else in the world, but only a couple of sandwich fillers. But i guess if you’ve got it, you might aswell spend it.’

I mean we laughed our pretty little knickers off, until she called me a scrooge, after i moaned about Keiran ‘bleeding me dry!’ (Lol.) If i’m buying that boy goes to town. He wants and gets everything and adores it. He waits until i’m in a good mood and then pounces! I told her off for judging me…with a smile ofcourse! But i don’t go into Asda to get told off! I go into Asda for champagne, toilet rolls, every hand wash in the entire world, sandwich filler, a mop, a bin, two laundry baskets, crisps, a cake, champagne glasses, a loaf of bread, balloons and a fricking living room lamp. In fact WAIT…i also bought a truck, a hand held radio, a piggy laptop and fucking ankle weights!?! Ankle weight, Keiran! (‘Yeah they’re for you babe..to work out your legs..y’know when you’re at home!’ Cheeky fucker. I should’ve bought Gobstoppers and a whip.

Life is really great right now. I’ve just recieved a text telling me my book is ready for me to look at. OMG!!! I will so soon be in a Waterstones near you! Can you bring me gifts? As i’m sure that will make me like you more. 🙂 Looking forward to seeing the book and seeing all you with a wiggle and bit of cheap charisma. I hope i find my sexy before then. Being a mum can be exhausting. I’m a mum to Ruby and Keiran. They’re both..what word am i looking for? Oh yeah.. MENTAL. Really excited about the More Mag feature on Tuesday, we’re both in it. In love. Feeling ‘ooh laa.’ Doing well at life and loving your messages! Thank you soo much for them, my inbox is now busting over and bouncing you all  back due to ‘fulldom’ with baby Ruby birthday love! I’m trying to save it all to show her one day. We adore you too. It means a lot!

People always ask me how i’ve managed to do alright at this whole ‘life’ thing. Well i accidentally accomplish things because i’m an action girl. I don’t talk about it. I do it. Keiran’s like that too. But he more knows what he wants, knows how to get it and isn’t afraid to try! Add good looks, a personality, love, discipline and laughter…with a side of hot pink heels and you have a leathal combination. We’re gonna do well. We’re really happy about that! I just don’t want the drama of others to interfere with it all, because we have too much to concentrate on right now and that is far more important.

Happy Birthday Baby Ruby!!

 

  

 Dear Ruby,

You are the light of my entire life. You have been the reason why my heart lights up, when i’ve felt down. The one thing that always puts the smile in my eyes. You’ve taught me life, how to love and showed me the world from your little eyes. You havesaved my life and I will honour, love and fight for you until the day I die.

I hope to inspire you, like you inspire me and I hope to be the best Mother, this world could ever given you.

You are my everything and i say it with a *wiggle* and bows. I promise to guide you and teach you what i’ve learnt from life. I swear that I will protect you & be there for you, throughout time. I will hold your hand & help you stand tall. I will speak for you, whenever you are too frightened to voice. I will love you unconditionally and give you my world.

Thank you for coming into my life.

Happy 1st Birthday baby x

All my heart,

Mum x

Back to Brilliance…

 

[‘Chrissie Wunna- A girl who never needs to ride anyone’s coat tails, for she blazes her own path.’]

Feeling amazing. I’m finally feeling back to my normal and rather brilliant self and who do i have to thank for that? Yep, my darling little pretty pieces of *yummy-yummy* -I have my delicious bit of devoted ‘hubby-to-be.’ (He really has been there for me and pulled me up when i could only look down.) I’ve been quite mental of recent, due to a cheeky imbalance of hormones and the stress of my life getting to me. I currently have everything I want, yet i’ve noticed that when I get everything i want, it triggers off a little bit of terror in me and i turn *doo-laa-lee.* This is why i believe we all need wine. *Hair-toss-wink.* Yesterday i was missing Hollywood,w here the people adore me and my friends really understand what I stand for. Today, i opened my eyes, looked over at my gorgeous little baby Ruby, looked a bit further at my gorgeous bit of hubby and I was really glad that i was exactly where i needed and wanted to be in life. I’m the route to a grand future and well it better to re-lose yourself at the beginning. It means you can enjoy the end. *Wink-Pout-Blows you a Kiss.*

I guess I forgot that i had so much support and there’s plenty of people who care for a bit of Wunna in their life. I have an amazing family, a dedicated hubby, and the most tragically delicious (even though they squander my money on gin) friends. (‘Chrissie don’t let anyone tell you you’re not a great person. Out of all the time i’ve known you, you’ve always made my life worthwhile…apart from that time you sold my arse for gum and a cigarette. 🙂 ‘) -In my defense, i didn’t think he would actually go back to my friends and wank all over their wall. Yet he was a backing dancing for Janet Jackson. I’m sure there’s some kind of points in there? 🙂

Yesterday, after a GIANT blow out. (I’ve never terrified of a blow out. I’ll cry and i’ll fight, but nothing is better than a yeller. When a being ‘shouts it out,’ whatever they were feeling immediately leaves their system.) Anyway yes…big blow out, meant the perfect end to a storm.

Due to me being down and feeling like there was far too much drama littering my life.  My handsome bit of hubby, wanted to make me smile, so he booked us a treat at Oulton Hall, (our ‘happy place,’) for a luxury and extremely relaxing massage. We finally arrived and by 4.30pm, we were both being rubbed down with oils, to mood music, in dark wooden, yet deliciously divine massage rooms, with mirrors, releasing our drama away from our bodies. I’m a ‘luxury’ girl. I love a pamper. I love a treat. I was sooo incredibly stressed, therefore there was nothing better than stripping down and getting my ‘ugh’ rubbed away.

After massages we were both taken to a private ‘Relaxation room.’ It’s dark, exotic, chocolate coloured and sort of Arabian nights. Lots of little beds with beaded pillows and dim lighting. Keiran came in after me and as we both sat on our little chocolate, ‘arabian’ beds of calm, he put my hands in his and with all of his heart said, ‘I love you sooo much, i really do and i can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.’)

(The Oulton hall spa)

We chilled for a peeky little while, chatted, snuggled and flirted with ‘the bubble’ space with caution. Then he decided to treat us both to a gorgeous candle lit dinner at a near by queit, but gorgeous restuarant, where we fell back in love, over shared steak, chicken, wine, and hope. I sat next to him by my wine, (unfortunately in a ‘Bambi’ t-shirt) and we kissed in a moonlit conservatory, while we talked about our future.

As we were waiting for our dinner my phone rang. I missed it the first time, because i’m good like that. But when i picked up the second time, i was greeted my the pretty voice of Georgina and MORE MAGAZINE. (Keiran and I have recently shot for them..incase you forgot.) Our feature and interview, with pictures for the shoot were about to go to print, so little gorgeous voiced Georgina, just wanted to run through a few things, before she frisbeed it off to print. We’re both really excited about it. We can’t wait. The shoot was AMAZING and the day was so much fun. Lots of wardrobe, makeup, picture taking and deliciousness. (In fact, i’m quite use to such. However, i’ve just realized how differernt life must be for Keiran. Army to model. Big ‘U-ey.’)

I had the interview read out to me, we giggled, loved and got all excited again! Georgina said that she felt like she knew me now. We didn’t want to get off the phone. I should mail them a Wunna ‘thank you’ gift when the feature comes out. But yes…our little bit of ‘look at us’ comes out NEXT Tuesday and we can’t wait to see it! (We actually have lots more in store for you, so stay tuned and enjoy.)

I’m glad i’ve woken up happy. I’m ready to enjoy ‘fairytale’ again and embrace to the wonderful things in life. We have the perfect future ahead of us and i’m concentrating on celebrating all things ‘ooh laa.’

My book is going to be a marvel i’m told. Lol. I’m keeping my kitty cat fingers cross. I recieved a long text message this morning, telling me that i’ll get to finally see a copy of the book soon! Yay! We sorted out payment, pictures and privacy policies. Yeah, my story might be a little controversial, yet it’s MY story and i think it’s note worthy. You better all buy it. Or i’ll have to whack you with left over lipgloss monkies and feed you to the lions! (I have a baby to feed goddamit. Lol.) I actually really can’t  WAIT for the book tour and Dolls it is being booked NOW! You might have a little bit of Wunna…sneaky peeking in your town, with a giant marker pen, a gin, a smile and a mouth shouting ‘BUY MY BOOK NOW!’

But on the whole, i’m back in the glitter. All i needed was a rub down, a big sleep, a handsome who cares. Don’t we all. It’s the simple things dollies. Always the simple things. I literally feel like the luckiest girl in the world! #keepingitglamourpuss

 

A Much Needed Vent

 

Okay, i’ve not been able to blog, due to feeling mildy lost, exhausted, drained and lazy. 🙂 I mean, so many people…ie, my mum, the boy, everyone in between have been complaining about me writing my blog and wanting to edit the written version of my life, due to them not wanting others to read the truth of my ‘tango,’ out of fear, that i’ve been frustrated. I’ve obeyed them a little. Yet, at the end of the day, it’s my life, my words, my blog and my voice. I use my blog as therapy and not entertainment and let me tell you, without a passing entry, i am MENTAL. My mum thinks I go too far with the sex talk. The boy doesn’t like an entry if it makes him look bad. What i like is the truth, my opion and a celebration that life, no matter good or bad, is delicious. I like to send out an honest message and simply because no matter who you are, or where you are, you’ll go through the same emotion, be it happy or sad, one day. Therefore, whilst he’s upstairs asleep and my mum’s on the other end of my text message, i’ve decided to go with ‘fuck it.’ I need a vent.

Over the last week i’ve been feeling soooo ‘Wunna Doll 2005.’ Not good. That was Me during my dodgey Hollywood time, where i completely lost myself, went mental, partied my life away and woke up to a different boy, almost everyone morning, before awfully dismissing them and then proving to them that I could never love them. There were also the boys that i did love and chased in secret. But on the whole, a lonely time, a bad time…a time that i wish never happened. It altered me deeply..even if i did look fabulous whilst calling them a taxi home, or begging them to adore me by a Hollywood wheely bin. 🙂 Now, my current stress isn’t about boys. I’m in a very loving relationship, (even though things have been tough just recently,) and if anything that has kept me going, as my past has decided to totter on in, without lipgloss and haunt me.

Keiran loves me madly and i’ve been treating him with absolute disreagard, due to my uncontrollably internal affairs, known to most as hormones. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but i’ve been thinking a lot recently and taken on too much all at once. I’ve been rushing around, travelling, panicking about my book, trying to be a good mum, sorting out Keiran’s quest for fame, crying, yelling, not eating and wearing too much bronzer. It made me lose myself completely, to the point where my delicious connection with life, sort of missed me, like a trapeze artist swinging through the circus air. I’ve been mental. But right now i feel calm and determined (after crap advice from a shit Doctor) to get well. (I went to see Dr.Eastwood yesterday after my mum and loverboy were concerned about my health. He was a complete weirdo. I mean, when they don’t know what’s the matter, get it all completely wrong, tell me to eat more, ask me if i can hear voices, then pick up a textbook, with a ‘yeah, i probably think a blood test and no more hormone pills,’ you kinda just wish you didn’t put in your hair piece for no reason.) I probably would’ve been better if it was fricking Clint Eastwood, at least then he would’ve handed me a rum and staggered around the room with a slur and in a cowboy hat. I would’ve understood him better. Both my parents are Doctors. I love Doctors. However, all the Doctors that i do see, who aren’t my folks, seem to be rubbish and fumbly.

I’m in my living room, looking at some red roses that the ‘handsome’ bought be for Valentines day. I’ve refused to really look at them and not because i’m ungrateful, but because i don’t like what they remind me of. I explained that i loved the idea of them, yet not where they have come from. He politely agreed and then placed them by the fireplace, as a decoration. Keiran thought that i never got him anything to Valentines day, when really i had planned something wonderful. However his ‘Quest for success’ had to come before all that, we have worked soooo hard over the past couple weeks..that it had to be frisbeed off for another time. I did the other day, do the ‘impulsive thing’ that i’ve so far managed to keep mildy secret. I love it and because nothing can ever say ‘you my forever’ than that. In my mind i totally stepped up my game. I performed a very ‘Chrissie Wunna’ thing to do on impulse, even if he would never do it himself. Which means i’m the most gutsy out the two and like my friend said, ‘from now on it would be pretty hard for him to top that little bit of a gesture.’ It makes me happy because at least i know that i 100% proved that i cared and no-one can take that away from you. Nothing is better or sexier to me, that going ALL OUT. I’m a 100% girl and well in the name of all ‘Wunna’s’ i’m fucking sexy! 🙂

But yeah, there’s been a lot of drama recently with other people butting in, trust issues, us both feeling run down and exhausted. (Who said entertainment was easy.) I’ve been up, down and really needing to get our bubble back up and running. My head feels fucked. It’s like having a constant hangover but you haven’t been drinking the night before. (Well apart from wine and shots. 🙂 ) I’m gonn have an open talk with him today, because he’s been feeling wuite unloved. We’re both the same and very dramatic. I mean, last night he stormed out again, with an ‘I will nto let you treat me like fucking shit,’ after a horrif, chavvy, druggy girl who i hate, because she wished my baby dead, who he actually boned…appeared as a flash up on his phone right infront of me. He knew i would go mental, because there was that moment where our eyes connected before the ‘blow up.’

Anyway, he left and then he came right back, after I called him and asked him too. I always hate it when he performs the DIVA ‘storm out,’ because in my world the strongest stand tall and fight their corner with a panache. (I often don’t have too much panache, but when i do, i soooo do.) I used to be a ‘runner awayer,’ until was taught that Winners were problem solvers. They’re the ones who can get back to normal the quickest, stand firm, with an open heart and a silent strength and manage to come up with a positive solution. The ones in life that gruffly fight and run off to find rum, a bird, solace, or alone time, never truely win. But he came back. Which means he has strength and everyone has always said, i will have to marry the strongest man alive.

Other than all that, i’m happy. My book deadline is up. Got that email last night. April 3rd for the launch. I’m really excited, loving your excitment and keeping my fingers crossed that it will win the hearts of the nation. If not you’ll find me drunk in a gutter in nipple tassles and yester-year heels. Lots of you are actually in it, so that’s one reason why you should buy it.

I was gonna tell you that i think my sex life has taken a bit of a detour? but then i remember that a bit of ‘road head,’ refusing to venture into a night time bush, has occured. However, i’m at the peak of my sexuality. All women are when they hit 30..and i’m 31. I could have sex all the time right now and especially because i’m hormonal. Keiran’s been worn out and busy and not really wanting to bonk, yet will wank..without me. Last night i even had to yell at him to come upstairs and sleep in the bed, simply because he didn’t want too? Lol. I mean, why would you have Chrissie Wunna as you’re future wifetime..yet not want to share sheets with her? Infact, i though i saw him sat next to me on the sofa last night, openly having a wank, but he wasn’t. He showed me that he was just conforting it, like a pet hamster.

On the whole life is good. I can’t wait to feel well again, i love reading all your messages, I adore my Daddy’s ‘love my daughter’ crusade and today my ‘handsome’ has booked us both into Oulton Hall for massages, hot tubs, steam rooms and saunas. Makes me happy.

I will say that over this last couple weeks Keiran’s been really understanding. He’s been loving, kind and there for me.

If i could feel anything right now, it would be to feel like a Princess again. (He’s just grumpily stomped downstairs being moody, so Lord Knows what i’ve done now. 🙁 ) #notfun But i needed this vent. Thank you for listening.

Happy Happy Pancake Day!

A recoup and a rethink…

 

I’ve been impulsive again. I naturally am a kitty cat who acts upon impulse, at the best and worst of times. Yet this time i’ve been quite secret about it, meaning i’ve danced with the utter height of inner impulse and throw merry caution to the wind, like only Chrissie Wunna can, with a wiggle and a wink. I guess you only live once, so you’ve got to do the ‘at the time’ things that make you smile and make you solidify your name with ballsy giltter. I did that. I’m happy. But yeah…incase i’ve accidentally been silly…ah well…that’s life? 😉

I’ve been recouping. I’ve had a busy week of running around for other people and i just needed me time, in order to be decent again. I still need more me time and bit more rest, but i’m feeling much much better. I’ve had my hair done, my nails done, i’ve shopped, worked, had mummy time with the Great Wunna before me, been a mummy to baby Ruby and really picked up the pieces in my fur boots and smile.

Life is about loving and living. Pete’s just been around to pick up Ruby. Keiran has just got done at an audition, after arriving home at 1am last night, after catwalking for London fashion. (He arrived home with guyliner on. Welcome to my world.) I’ve visited lipgloss counters, tattoo parlours and wine shelves and after reading a tweet of adoration stating that i live a life that any gay man who dream of, i think i’m doing pretty darn good. (Everyone did use to say i was like a gay man trapped in a hot asian girls body. lol)

Anyway, other than being secretly controversial, being ina hurry once more, forgetting to go to Wazza’s birthday (FUCK) and bloging in my beige faux fur, i will tell you that i have a couple of good auditions coming up AND my book will finally be out on April 3rd!!

I do need to dash and cab it into Wakefield for dinner..but i will finish this off later. Far too much is happening…hence why i keep feeling lost. I’m rubbish at handling the art of ‘plenty.’

Drama, travels and tantrums…

  

Life is far too hectic right now. I mean, it’s good…but hectic. I feel kitty cat exhausted, from going back and forth, up and down, round and around and whilst mentally spinning plates, with a wink in my eye and a bit of ballsy-ballsy. There’s been uneccessary drama, over people I don’t care about. Running around for people that I do care about. Meetings, love, fighting, bubble stepping, bouncing back, chanpagne, dinners and lots and lots of taxis.

Okay, the last time i lfet you, i think i had just come off the More Magazine shoot? Well a lot has happened since then. I lost my connection. Found it again. Remembered that in life, it’s not how hard you get emotionally battered, but more how fast you can warrior back from it. I’m in love. We’ve had trust issues boomerang, back and forth, before a very lovely make up.

We finally got back to Yorkshire from London, on Valentines day. (Not the best day really. I performed quite a few delicious *storm outs* with a side of screaming. Then after a moment. I just needed a moment. I managed to gather my little bundles of life together, with one jolly arm scoop and before i knew it, i was back in love, and booking train tickets to my next destination.

The next morning, i found myself on a journey to Doncaster, armed with ‘people who care’ and in a black Mercedes at 7am. By 8.31am, i was in First Class, having missed an important meeting, due to thinking Friday was Wednesday. After a bit of tea and silent treatment. (A treament that i really find a bit boring, even when i’m performing it), i *snapped* out of it, once again…and enjoyed my 83 minute delay on my Grand Central train journey to London Kings Cross. (The day wasn’t actually about me. Which isn’t my favourite. I think i need more ‘About ME’ days. I’m good at putting others before me and mainly because i know that in the end, i’m always gonna be alright regardless…and maybe because i’m loving. 🙂 ) – Lets not go too far.

An 83 minute delay is not fun, when you’re trapped on a train with cups of tea and an attitude problem, stepping in and out of a bubble. Nine meetings were to be tended to on that day. The first at 10am. The train got into London at 12 noon. Life got busy. Life got fast.

The day went from place to place, cab to cab, face to face, new office, to new office, as I chaperoned a ‘far too commercial’ looking gentlenman around the pavements of our Capital. Loong day. Big day. But a day that cemented how ambitious, determined and how hard Team Wunna can push if they wish too.

I must have loitered and rushed and madly called every part of London. West, to east, to north, to south, to central! Madness! Most people attempt 2 meetings and ‘clink’ to it. We did 9! NINE!

At the end of the day, exhausted in my beige faux fur, in the back of a cab, starving and just wanting to go home. I found myself chipper, in Nandos, having a wine and a salad, killing time for a train home. All was well. Then the arguments peeked in again. More yelling. More drama. More. More. More. It ended with me having to leave my wine, follow a gent out, and wait at Kings Cross under the train time board, crying and being cuddled. I hate anything that’s difficult, I hate a fight, a bicker and i certainly hate a ‘past’ with a dollop of arrogance.

Then just like that, I got back to ‘fairytale’ and everything was delicious and happy once more.

At 7.48pm, i got onto a train back and merrily enjoyed my little journey home.

Life is good. I’m exhausted. I really want ‘about me’ time and more Baby Ruby time. I’m meant to be back in London tomorrow and Bradford on sunday. I’m just too tired.

The ‘fairytale’ is great and well it was celebrated with champagne the other night, with love cuddles and sex and then again yesterday evening, at The Castle for a beautiful dinner and drinkies. (My body is completely run down.)