OMG..i’m officially an ‘absolutely no sense of direction’ moron. Glitzy. But a moron. *Fan yourself here-beat your boy bitch salve.* Okay, at around 1.34pm today, I found myself in the back of a giant van-like taxi, (I hate the giant van like ones, when you are the ONLY passenger. It makes you feel like a ‘party for one’ loser, cold and well is it just me or are they the hardest doors ever to just push open.) Luckily, i knew the cabby well. Unluckily, he repeatedly kept telling me to ‘push the door harder.’ I’m more of a Glamour Pussy puller, rather than a heavy door pusher. My arms are for Dior cluth carrying, beckoning my ‘Handsome,’ grabbing money out my golden purse and placing my Blackberry to my ear…Heavy doors are for weirdos, who having mastered the art of ‘getting people to push things for you.’ 🙂
Anyway, for the first time in a long time, my cabbie actually knew where places were. He knew exactly where he was going and in record time. *Impressive-Wiggle-Giggle.* (Oh hang on…phones ringing. Pete’s forgotten to pick Ruby up on time from nursery again. UGH!)
Where was I? Okay, yeah…there i am in the back of a van-like taxi of blue, all on my own in the back, with a cabbie who for once knew exactly where he was going and the passenger..little me…completely and utterly mentally lost. I’m pretty used to getting driven places, escorted to venues, dragged to certain whereabouts, or maybe thrown. I’ve never had to use my head, when it’s come to directions. As soon as I got my little ‘dolly’ self out. I welcomed the world of Pontefract with a stretch and a smile and then proceeded to get very very lost..and in my home town centre. 🙂
Just so you know, i’m a girl who is never ever lost. I’m a chica with a distinct streak of ‘know where i’m going in life’ ambition. I’m determined, with a delicious *squeeze* of giggle. I want to do well and i have the complete faith that the Gods will guide me. Why? Well they always have. But put me in the middle of nowhere, in my fur boots and tell me to find a place, on foot, on my own, with mobile Google maps..and i’m fucked. It took me about an hour to find a street, that i was 52 seconds away from today! I kept getting terrified because there were far too many roads to cross. (I don’t trust the ‘green man’ light. Like any man…you just have to becareful. 🙂 )
However, you’d think that i’d blame my ‘no sense of direction’ on my upbringing or the planets. But no! The Wunna logic decided to blame it ALL on the fact that i wasn’t wearing pants. I had forgotton to put them on and well i swore on my life today that i couldn’t actually think properly because i had no knickers on. There i was outside Asda, swearing at my Blackberry in my beige faux fur, but then smiling at passing people, like i wasn’t lost at all. I did finally get to my destination and on the door read a sign saying ‘Closed.’ 🙂 Figures!
I gave in and took my pretty self into town to find food to feed my ‘Handsome Keiran’ with. Omg since i’ve been a glammy Lady of Leisure (glitzy way of say ‘bum) i’ve done nothing but be madly in love with him. I’ve thought about him all day and missed every little inch of him. I can’t believe how lucky i am and how wonderful our fairytale is. I am in LOVE with this man. Crazy in love. (We get married this year..and i’ll be racing up that isle! He actually claims he’ll be running in the opposite direction, down the isle to escape. I told him there was no point because not only would i have tied him to the altar, but i’d just trip him up with my wedding heel. Once you’re in, you’re in. I’m not getting jilted at the altar..again. 🙂 ) We’re soo happy right now.
Pontefract was rubbish today. I got followed by an old drunk man, then when i turned around he had gone and stopped ‘grunting’ at me…and in his place i were firemen. (I likey!!) Then i tottered away from the winking, hollering fireman and into some lovely racial abuse by chavs outside the Magistrates court.
Anyway, i’m going now…i have a handsome who is being far too dreamy for me not to snuggle. I can’t wee until 9pm because i’m up to something and can’t have sex until i know what i’m up too. 🙂 (Ooh the puzzle.) Keiran has decided that he needs to offer me millions of cups of tea and get his willy out in the kitchen in order to taunt my every cell of ‘ooh laa.’
I love my life. I love my handsome. I adore my Baby Ruby and i love being a glitzy, book writing…bummerlicious! *Giggles.* Can’t wait to get married. I’m dying to see my book. I’m waiting to flirt with stardom and i’m ready to not only make my mark that bit harder, but introduce that world to my lil’ family.
Loving your messages!
Big Kitty Kisses,