When it all got the better of me…


I’ve been ill and really if there is anything worse than this little kitty cat of utter deliciousness having no tan and a bad hair day…it’s being ill. I knew i was going to get in, because the previous day i found myself over compensating with my look, in order to look well. I only despise being ill, simply because i’m the first one, whenever ANYONE’S ill to be boasty about how ‘I’M NEVER EVER ILL’…i’m soo annoyed at my boastiness right now. 🙁 I sooo managed to scoop up a jolly lergy and fight out a bit of a bitch of a flu, on a sofa, in a pink dressing gown, by a Christmas tree with Keiran (who was wedged on the sofa too) spooning me in the dark. He was knackered anyway, after his weekend of ‘party party’ in London. Luckily he came back all ‘in love’ with me, for being his ‘perfect.’ It’s a good thing having someone that cares about you spoon you when you’re cold sweating a flu off. It’s a bad thing when the ‘not hot’ members of JLS are gyrating in your dreams, mid-illness…and they just don’t seem to go away, or do their dancing shirtless? Keiran talks in his sleep. I won’t tell you what he says…but let me tell you..last night, was quite bizarro. *Gives head a shake.* What i’ve noticed about my ‘handsome’ is that his mind is constantly on the move. Like moi, he has a powerful bit of mind and well i’m currently finding it rather ‘ooh laa.’ We’ve gotten properly into ‘role playing’ in the bedroom right now. We’re pretty much the same person, therefore we’re more mentally stimulated than anyone would think. I’ve always said, that a great guy is one that doesn’t chase 100 girls, but makes 99 girls jealous of the one. I’m proud of him from turning from ‘Player’ to ‘Love bunny.’ Is our relationship built on hotness? I don’t know. However, i will say it is weird that we’ve mnaged to meet, fall in love immediately, change our ENTIRE lives for one another and become engaged. Girls quite fancy Keiran and boys quite fancy….my boobs. We have a strong bond that goes much much further than a hair do and a chest. I just wish more people would beable to see it. He looked at me last night, as he was arm cradling Rubes, by the fiary lit Christmas tree and told me that he had never ever met a girl like me in his life and that i blew ever out the water. It made me feel special…and finally feel appreciated.

Pete came around my accident the other day to feed the cats. It was sort of awkward, but great at the same time. It was far less dramatic than i thought it would be. The boys got on rather cordially…and well i hope that it stays that way. It’s the best thing for everyone. I’m very well impressed. (‘Who’s here? My Mum?/ No Chrissie..it’s Pete./WHAT!!!!/No really it’s Pete!/OMG!!’) Now i’m knocking on *adjusts bar* i’m far less keen on drama. I never thought i could ever be tamed…but having Ruby poke out of my ‘lady part’ head first has certainly been the only thing in this world…to alter my tragical flow of existance. Then Keiran came along and *rubber stamped* that change officially. I do always say that we’re extremely similiar. Maybe we just fancy ourselves. 🙂 However, no matter what…Cupid has completely tickled us with the love duster.

I’m really loving being a Mummy right now and really appreciating the help from my own mummy right now. I’m working hard, solidifying a future, really wanting a weave and adoring my new faux fur. Being ill sucks hairy balls…massively. I’m much better now and rocking my pinstripes…(well better enough to get hit on by a young boy lawyer, at Leeds train station, who claims to see me every day, eating a bacon sandwich. SEXUAL.) I did the usual nod, wave, smile and told him i was in a rush. If i could put a ‘Post -It’ on that moment it would read ‘BUSY.’ …train stations are never good places for boys to try and pull chicks. It’s a place of transit and well all you will beable to gather up in the love department are those who are ‘on there way.’ I’m taken anyhow…and feeling 100% loved. Girls only really adore and crave the attention of other gents, when they’re not filled with utter love, or then don’t hear it enough. I’m getting treated more than rather well at home, so right now..i’m all goodie. When i’m with a boy, i hate them to be flirty. Not only because it’s disprespectful…but because it mainly shows me that they don’t feel secure. Insecurity is not hot. It’s soo 2007. Even though i’m quite well pictured as a floozy pa’toozie…i hardly ever ‘put myself out there’..and why? Well simply because I don’t need too… *Wiggle-wink.*

I don’t really have anything else to report other than i’m recovering from being ill. Oh and my new local, that isn’t at all local, is ‘The Castle’ in Wakefield. The coziness of that place is divine and well i have so many new memories there. And even though i’m always signing random girls up to be my future bridesmaids, simply because they give me booze and the fact that random men think Keiran ‘bought me’ on the Thai black market…it’s a great palce to go for a Bailey’s and a chillax by a fireplace.

Must totter.

I love you…


Real, Romantic & Racy


Woke up this morning..(love it when i begin in that manner…reminds me of my Hollywood days of ‘bloggage.’) I had been sent a text from Keiran (who was getting his ‘groove’ on in London) that was a pre takne photo of my the pillow side of my bed. With the photo read a message, saying that i had to ‘look in that arear of the room’…for well i guessed a surprise and i hoped a good one, as quite honestly, i’m far too wined up to beable to handle a bad one. Plus, I don’t think he could’ve managed to wedge an entire other female, between my bed crack..therefore i knew it was going to be okay.

I did drinky poos last night, but ended up going to bed early..well at 3am because the wild wind fucked me over and made part of a tree fall on my sexy arse. When a branch hit me..i went with ‘fuck that’ …i didn’t care hot the boys were around me…(i didn’t like most of them because they kept showing me maps and i don’t even mean funny maps, like the directions to their bedrooms..I’m too old for that now and too settled. I actually mean maps of the fucking world! There’s ‘game’ and there’s ‘game’ and honey if you had one shot at wooing me…would you really show me a map of frickin India? I got 21% in my Geography exam 10 years ago. I didn’t even understand the world then, let alone now i’ve been a drunk for ages. Boys always fumble it, when they’re around me. Not that i can be pulled. However i’m quite happy to aid them in their technique…well until i’m bored. I love that my friend Karl quoted the fact that he hated ‘Looking at geography Wunna’ and much preferred ‘Crazy bitch’ Wunna. ME TOO! I’ll clink (i said ‘clink’ not ‘chink’) to that

Okay, back to the bed thing. It took me ages to hunt around my pillow bedside. If it takes a lot of work, i’ll just give up. Lol. I’m like that with everything. I’m a Glamour Puss..i don’t have the patience. I like to be gifted by all means, but a no contact lensed, topless, with baby, fumble around between my actual bed frame is quite a stretch for me. I make other people do all that stuff usually. But whatever i managed it. Well done me. Yadda-yadda. I don’t do bins either, whoever i date at the time gets that little job of joy.

Anyway, what i found was a card with my name on. I opened it up and it was from Keiran to the ‘One’ that ‘he loves.’ He had pretty much written down how he felt about me and how much he loved me and how he was missing me. I loved it. It made my entire day! How have i got this lucky!!! I’m being treated soooo well. He’s like the man of every girls dreams. It’s cute because yeah he’s away, partying an inch of  his life into the world…yet he remembered what he had away from the ‘party’ and that’s hot. It meant that miles and miles away on a King sized bed in Ackworth, sat a little Glamour Puss, with a card in her hand…and a smile on her face. Romantic. Then Ruby tried to eat the card, so i knew it was time to take her to see santa..and Dollies that’s what we did. (I’m currrently getting a text from an ex-co worker, telling me that another ex co-worker, that i used to HATE…was slagging me off. Lol. One of the best things about leaving a work place, where you hated someone is the simple fact that you no longer have to pretend to like them.What an entire moronic loser she is. It’s funny…she’s like the kinda girl, that i would just walk through..and why? Well because for a girl that young and that broken, she is not worth any direct Wunna time. I mean he makes my chest look real.)

Okay, away from all the drama. I took my little Rubes to see Father Christmas today in Ackworth…as did EVERY OTHER MOTHER in the entire world…well so it seemed. Yeah..Rubes didn’t love he moment too much…therefore we took a detour in my beige faux fur and looked at crimbo trees instead. Loved it. Life is perfect right now. Loving all of your messages..I thank you for them. I’m beginning ot get that flu. Great! I’m gonna have a vino. I need to be well for work.


M.I.L.F much!

Just Add Booze…


D’ya know what? I think totally just get on with gents named ‘Matt.’ I know a tumble load of Matthews, who reign all over this merry world…and yeah they’re all dicks, but i just seemed to get on with them. Now, i am aware that ‘Matt’ is quite a common name, therefore i could just get on with men in general and not ‘Matt’s.’ 🙂 (Which would seem a great deal more likely! *Wiggle-wink.*) One of my LA best ‘player’ friends, who promises to be really old, rich and have a 22 year old model wife when he marries…is a ‘Matt.’ A friend, who most refer to as the brother you kinda want to punch in the face-yet i found him hilarious’ was a ‘Matt.’ (I was ‘comment chatting’ with him on Facebook today and it totally reminded me of the time, he made an abortion clinic, when i was pregnant in a sales office. It consisted of a box, a piece of rope, a GIANT bottle of vodka and a shovel. We’ve got on ever since…even when he trumped on me after a cheese sandwich.) Infact, now i think about it, i have had a ‘Matt’ just recently piss me off and shout at me for not loving him…therefore i take it back. ‘Matt’…just a name. 🙂

Keirans away for the weekend, so I’m getting ready for a ‘good time’ on the old ‘boozey-woozy’ in stilettos. I finally bought a new faux fur and even though i managed to not get my hair ‘did’…(I feel a weave coming on for crimbo)…i managed to buy everything else…infact all kinds of shit i didn’t need. Hurrah. It helped me get over missing him. He bickered last night and i don’t know why we bother, because we technically adore each other more than anything. We’re each other’s ‘to do life with.’ He loves me and i delight in that. But we’ve made up…and yeah we kinda made up over sexytime. The good old fashioned way. 🙂 I’ve just been working so hard and so much, that he feels lsightly neglected and wants me to love him more. I’m usually knackered and tipsy after work…or all mummified. But i love him and well the good thing is that he told me. When they tell you…well you can sort of attempt to be a bit more lovely. (Which is hard when you’re a Wunna.)

I’ve shopped all day in Doncaster, enjoyed EVERY GIVEN MOMENT with Ruby today. When it’s ‘just us’ we have these fantastic moments of utter pure love. Nothing is better than having a little girl, even though i am aware that the poor little thing has me as her guardian through life. It’ll be all Wonderbra’s, glitz, giggles and struts!

Life is still flipping great and i don’t even know how i’m managing it. I’m glueing it all together and rolling it with the Midas touch. I feel powerful right now. I feel sexy. I’m a girl who’s always rudely spoken my mind and always known what she wants. Now, i have a ‘family’..a legacy in place..i’m ready to leap forward and make my dreams come true. I feel like i’ve accidentally managed to achieve an awful lot in my life and get into a lot of trouble all at the same time. The good thing about trouble is the art of ‘fast learning.’ I’ve learnt everything in my life via trial and error…and well i’ll never learn. I’m down with that notion. It loves me. I hate it. But i’ll love it when i’m a granny, with a boob job, re-telling my tale on my broken fucking glitter rocking chair..to anyone who’ll listen.

Anyway, i’ve got to go…i’m in a rush and have wine waiting. People always forgive hot people more…remember that! (My top tip of the day!) Keirans told me to text him when i get in tonight…when he left, he had piled a bundle of Ruby’s clothes on my living room floor, then spelt out ‘I miss you.’ Awww. I have a good boy. He told me that he just wanted to be loved. (I mean we all do.) Yet, the thing that worries me about boys who just want to be loved, is that they usually find love anywhere they can. Well maybe i’m paranoid, because that’s what i used to do? Could i actually be mildy insecure in my old age?

Fuck it…i’m having a wine.

Love you. x

Donkies and Blowies…


Loving life! Really do need to find the time to blog more frequently. I’ve been tottering around Leeds in Pinstripes and too much lippy and i’ve been finding it all quite jolly! Yippee!

All i’m gonna say id, that you know life is great when you’re in a meeting a mildy corporate meeting and the words ‘donkies’ and ‘blow jobs’ are mentioned…followed by *blushing* and laughter! Infact, i’ve just returned from a GREAT meeting, where Race Car driving, water and retail brochures took the floor. To say that i was trapped in a train door at 9.06am, making an entire train 7 minutes late to Edinburgh, this morning…i haven’t really done too badly. I was in my full Glamour Puss glory, wedged inbetween an automatic door, with the *wedging* being between my boobies. I was half in/half out, shouting, ‘OMG, I CAN’T GO TO EDINBURGH, HALF IN/HALF OUT!! I have an 11am meeting in LEEDS…GET ME OUT! OH..and make sure NO-ONE MUGS ME MISTER!!!’ (My handbag was on the half of me that was ‘half out’…not fun during a *wedge.*)

The good thing about the *wedging* was that earlier this morning, i was having a barney with Keiran, over him being away for the weekend and i was practising the art of being a basic bitch. The ‘getting trapped in the door’ senario..made me have to call him to boast about what i had managed to achieve in life. 🙂 It made the barney turn into laughter…and well it ended with us making up and him sending me a text readin, ‘I love you, you clumsy fucker.’ SCORE! He also reminded me that i have managed to trip over my own stilettos more than 6 times in the last glitzy week and ACCIDENTALLY burnt an entire place down. (I did that before in LA. I nearly burnt DK’s appartment down, after he had kindly let me stay over there.) I like that i’m getting away with being clumsy. I’m always rambling on about how smart and posh and well educated i am. HOWEVER…i must admit, there certainly is an inner *bimbo* in every Wunna…it really does get the better of me.

Leeds is full of hot men. Hot young business men. It’s crazy. i always wondered where they were all hiding…and well dolls…it’s LEEDS! I’m starting to adore this city greatly, even though on every street is a corportae business building, followed by a foodie type place, followed by a strip club. I was tottering through the streets this morning, on route to a meeting and i just sort of stopped to look around and smile. I feel excited about life now and i feel like i can conquer the world.

So today, i wished everyone a happy ‘Black Friday’..then accidentally got called a ‘racist’ by Ruth. Lol. ‘Black Friday’ is the day after Thanks-Giving…meaning it’s when American Xmas shopping actually officially begins!!  (OOh i just got a parcel.) Therefore i wasn’t hating on those who are ‘black’ on Friday. I’m ORANGE! Plus, i’m ethnic…i can use the race card whenever i want and that’s a card..alongside my bank card, is a card that would never ever want to be without! I pull it out, like i do my nipple, anytime i need to save my sorry arse. 😉 (Sorry Mum!) I’m glad that Xmas is officially here and Americans are now allowed to shop!

I’ve been to dinners at The Castle. Drinks all over Wakefield. Handsome Keiran surpised me with FLOWERS yesterday! We were at The Red Kite by Calder Park and he had swaggered out, pretending he needed to run an errand,which i had claimed was ‘drugs’ or something? He sauntered back in with a giant bouquet of flowers and a card teeling me that he will love me forever. AWWW!!!!! The idea was that he was going to meet me at the train station and surprise me with them on the platform. Instead, i messed it all up by getting in an astra on the way home, after an amazing meeting where i got more than distracted in what seemed like a ginormous old school, beautiful mansion! So he had to meet me in a parking bay and bring them into the restuarant. I loved it. Soo romantic. Infact, i actually remember accidentally getting really lost in The Red Kite. It’s like a maze. It confuses the fuck out of me. I was literally stalking hungry grannies, thinking that my table was there’s? They kept having a Chrissie Wunna *pop* up behind them in search for her own table. Poor sods. I GOT FLOWERS! yAy!

I totally have my FRiday feeling and i hope you do too. Life is about doing the things that you lvoe and loving the things that you do! Keiran’s away this weekend, so i’ve decided to make the most of my Saturday/Sunday. I’m gonna enjoy being a mummy…and let life tango with me, before Monday shows up and i’m back on the totter to work. I hear the boozy good times a calling. The rubbish thing is that the weekend is really the only time we get to spend together, so we won’t really have that time now.  Plus, the day after a ‘party’ weekend away…is usually always ‘not fun’ when he gets back. I don’t like it AT ALL. So i’m not looking forward to it.

I really need a tea now and a delicious spot of lunch.

Life is finger licking good. I’m really happy! I feel like i have The Gods, wathcing over me, crandling my falls and then sprinkling them with glitter. I adore it. I want an ipad 2, a faux fur and wine. Instead, i’ve got a highlighter pen, a cuppa tea and squidey toes, because my shoes are shite.

Wunna Land is WONDERFUL. I really wish you could enjoy it with me. ;( However all you have is the ‘read’ of this little journal. the little blog that accidentally went a long, long way!

I love you. 😉

DON’T FORGET TO BUY MY BLOG FOR YOUR KINDLES ON AMAZON!!!  It’s Christmas..why not. Click the link below and enjoy your little bit of Wunna..wherever the hell you go!  http://t.co/FW2pxgKY



No Rest for the Wicked

Omg..i seem to have no time to write my blog, due to work, life and Bailey’s getting the better of me. I guess the good thing about being able to write a blog, is the sheer fact that it must mean you have a life to life, even if you really don’t seem to think you have. Everyone around me is ill. I’ve had ‘handsome’s’ literally FALL out of bed in their hour of ’24 hour flu-ness.’ (‘I can’t believe you laughed Chrissie!’) I mean, what is funnier than seeing a fit bit of ‘handsome’, roll to his right, when he’s all ill but cozy, then accidentally rolling too far, to the point where he falls off the be and lands ‘doggy-style’ on all fours on the carepet below..with a sore throat! Ha!

Other than that, i’ve been WORKING. I’m missing baby Ruby time, loving life, have a ‘Keiran’ who wants to adore me every moment of the day, to the point where when he doesn’t have me, he begins to ‘think.’ We’re both big thinkers…infact, he’s more of a thinker than i am, and all i know about thinking, is that it can be dangerous. But we’re good right now. A little frustrated with how life is rolling, due to it’s busy-ness…yet i feel lucky right now and i’m teaching Keiran that you sort of have to try to be as positive as possible through life…never let it get the better of you. It’s kinda essential in order for good things to happen. I’m moody at times, but never unhappy…good things accidentally happen to me all the fricking time. Why because i strutt through this little earth ball like it’s a high heeled disco-rama. A glitzy bonanza. Like i’ll find that pot of glod with a willy on top! God loves me for this…(and why wouldn’t she?) And therefore cuts me some slack.

I  can’t think of anything to blog now that i’m in a rush. But i did peek in peoples gardens earlier when i was on the train and wonder why everyone on my train was in a quileted jacket and why everyone with a garden around wakefield Westgate has a broken trampoline in it??

I want a cream faux fur and an ipad. I’m excited for Christmas. Wazza has forgotton to remember my life. I’m realizing that people forgive hot people more and that if the combined bundle of entire Facebook users, were an actual nation..it would be equivalent to the being the 3rd largest nation in the entire WORLD!!

I want a bed day, where i stay in my comfies, play with baby Ruby, do lunch with Keiran and groom whenever i so wish, whenever i so wish. There really is no rest for the wicked. I wish i’d been more ‘good’ now. Anyway i don’t enjoy rushing..so i must go. I have meetings and pinstripes to attend to. Totally helped save a tramp yesterday….will tell you about that later..

Love you. Ciao.

Another day dolls…


Erm..everyone keeps calling me ‘orange.’ I’ll have you know, that i simply ADORE the result of my once a week spray tan..(yes I DO have matching spray tan day with my very handsome-even though he’s just puked in my downstairs toilet-Keiran.) I try to venture to The suntan centre in Pontefract at least once a week now, to get those ever so delicious, fake bake tan lines. I’m not one to attempt to look like i’ve been onced over in Tippex, then rolled around in flour. My spray tan is yummy..so you can kiss mylittle glitzy orange arse. 🙂

Other than that, i’ve been working it, owning it and unfortunately buying washing machines. I cannot AT ALL, think of a more BORING thing in this entire world to buy, than a fucking washing machine. When you have no interest in something..the spending money part of the whole tangoo, be it a boy, a girl, a hobby, a bill or a washer-frickin-dryer…is CRAP. But whatever, at least i’ll finally have clean pants and i won’t have to keep on buying new, or scrubbing my own gusset in the sink..even if they are polka dotted.

Worked all day. Loved it. Couldn’t at all fit into my trousers, but pretended i could. Over the weekend i’d been out around Wakefield with my ‘handsome’..after meeting Ruth for a gin and before realizing that everyone in Wakey on a Friday is either on drugs or chavtastic. People kept weirdly stopping me and Keiran, attemtping a really drunk convo with us, that began ‘Oh hey mate…i haven’t seen you in ages’ and ended ‘does your girlfriend have any chick friends i can date?’ It was the same convo, different face each time. Keirans showing me more love than ever right now. (I mean a lot of things were said to each other, as we cuddled in bed, the other morning. It’s made me feel loved and secure. Yet bizarrely made him feel quite the opposite? He’s on my sofa right now, being ill. It’s awful when the people you adore are all sicky. I think i need to reassure him that i love him, especially because it seems he’s feeling down right now.)

Infact, BOTH my little baby Ruby and my ‘handsome’ Keiran are ill right now. I have Ruby puking at nursery. Keiran puking in my toilet and here i am in my baby pink dressing gown, and boobs, having a Baileys by a Christmas tree.

I sat opposite a boy on the early morning train to Leeds, who was reading a bright yellow book on ‘social media.’ He kinda looked up at me like he didn’t like my orange face and pink lippied pout too much…even though i was totally working office wear. 🙂 I smiled. He didn’t…and yeah, that was the end of that little moment. (If i was Gay Adam…he would’ve have counted that as a relationship. 🙂 ) I’m looking at my ring! (The one on my finger, not bum.) I LOVE IT. I finally feel all stable, loved and happy. I love that Keiran loves me. I mean if i ever did love a boy…it’s probably now and with him. We’ve done really well in the time we’ve been together. 12 weeks. I feel like i’ve been with him for years!

Anyway, my pink robe can only go so far. I don’t have time to blog the rest of life out. I’ll have to do it tomorrow. I’ve run out of Bailey’s. I’m off to guzzle more, then it’s head off to bed time, for another early start to my day. I’m not a morning person. I can’t even open my eyes in the morning..which in your world might be okay, but in my world is quite tedious, when you already have tight slanty eyes and giant fake lash central upon them.

Night *Wiggle_wink*

FYI, I have the best Crimbo tree EVER. Be very jealous.

Loong way from Hollywood.


I haven’t had time to blog really, due to the art of jiggery pokery, life and ‘ooh laa.’ I’m a busy little bit of asian bee and i actually have shit loads to tell you. I intend to tell you this evening, after i ‘ve managed to kitty cat my way into work and wiggle my way to victory. 🙂 I hate blog time off simply because liquor steals my memories of the past, before i get to document it.

However, i will tell you that i’ve dined, i’ve whined, i’ve played wifey, played mummy, I’ve fox-trotted around the party streets of Wakefield, i’ve PUT our Xmas tree UP, worked my little socks (well i don’t really wear socks..or pants now, because i have no clean ones..i’m not mucky..just come without a washing machine) and now i’m again on route to work. I have sooo much to tell you and i’m flying (with too much lippy and a spray tan) on the rung of the ‘whatever will be’ ladder. I’m also deciding if i should put Baileys on my porridge?

This will have to wait…but please do feel free to perv at the picture above 🙂 during my absense.

Love you, thankyou for following my life…dolls. 🙂 When there’s a moment in life, where you find yourself sat in a blue celotaped Ibiza seat..with your ‘handsome’ in matching spray tans, driving around life, eating pork scratchings, on your way to buy a tree…you know you’re doing just fine. (You’re a long way from Hollywood darling. 😉 )

I’m just spinning plates…


I feel like i haven’t blogged in ages! I’ve been sooo busy. I’ve been up, down, around and around. Living on a distinct lack of sleep, due to my deliciously darling 9 month old bambino and working, plus working ‘it’…at the same time as trying to fit in a showbizzy career, whilst attempting to be the ‘sort of’ perfect girlfriend. No easy, but i’m loving it and i’m loving it because i’m tragically reaching for the ‘nothing easy is ever worth having’ cliche. You’ve got to enjoy a good cliche to cling onto when you just need that little bit of rainbow. Lol

On the whole i’m LOVING LIFE. Work has been amazing. I’m AGAIN meeting new people, crossing my path with newbies, feeling sexy, appreciated and filled to the brim with life and nodding my head with satisfaction at the fact that i feel all cozy again.

The love life front has been amaze-balls. ‘Handsome Keirans’  made some really giant decisions just recently, fluttering us both into unknown waters and making him learn the ropes and the art of ‘relationship.’ He’s says he’s never felt happier and never felt so in love. Therefore i must be doing something right? I mean surely now he’s over the ‘she has big boobs and a swagga in her glitz’ phase now. 🙂 He’s in love with the simpliest things, like me (the ultimate goddess of domesticity making him tea.) I’ve always been shit at playing wife, yet this time around…i’m even weirdly impressing myself. Our bond is still…but saying that i have had wine. 😉

I’m really grateful for all that he is doing for me. Really helping my hot arse of emotionally, physically and being a decent human being to my little baby Ruby. Things like that are priceless. Therefore i’m glad to have his hottness around. We’ve had no sleep due to schedules and my non-sleeping daughter. Which takes a great deal of will to handle. Yet he has and i’m impressed. I like a boy who impresses me and so far this boy always has. We make a good team. Even though i’ve literally found a gent who’s far more dramatic than I. It makes me look at myself and think ‘shit…i must’ve been hard to handle in the past.’ But fuck it..that has been the beauty of being a Wunna. The term i’ve learnt about how my life is rolling right now…(and i learnt it from a fabulous lady who wears a giant purple fur coat, with an attitute of ultimate *sizzle*..is that i’m ‘spinning plates’ and ‘lots of them.’ Yet luckily, i’m keeping them frantic an keeping them all kinds of bouji balanced. I’m happy. Really happy. However, i will admit i do need an entire day of sleep… or more wine.

I’ve been having a pretty decent sex life right now. Last night, whilst i was mulling around being ‘kitty cat’ in my nighty…kinky things ended up happening on a carpet, under a chandelier, with a camera phone. Bit of fun. A bit of ‘ooh laa’ and with the ‘handsome’ that loves me dearly. (We’re actually in the middle of a mild bicker and because i told him i wasn’t talking to him for being rude to me. ‘Common courteousy is a good prop for a boy to have dear!!’  I said it whilst i was steaming potatoes in leopard print pyjama bottoms and a spray tan. I’d planned a surprise and because i wouldn’t TELL HIM what it was, he told me that he was not going to bother being with me at Christmas because he had made other plans. I slowly stood up, walked out the living room and claimed i was no longer talking to him. He did the ‘run in’ and the apology..but men are like babies..infact no children. You have to teach them HOW to treat you. Bad manners and mild manipulation pisses me off…he took it too far and well i got upset. I think it’s because i felt unappreciated…so i otped for the art of ‘fuck it.’ After work he kept thundering questions at me over and over again. I’d worked all day. When i see him, i want that time to be loving…not fussy. He’s upstairs right now whilst i blog. I will go up there and ‘make up’…but first i just want my vino! CHILL.)

I’ve bought a Reveal Mag. I’m in it..so buy yours! Loads of people are asking me for money right now…i think that’s all people do with me y’know? Ask me for money..all of the time. It’s Christmas time and everyone’s broke, you can tell. However as delicious as I am..i’m not really responsible for financing every for the season of mulled wine and joy-joy.

I’ve asked people to literally email me an actual breakdown and what they need money for. I mean if you can’t tell me. Then you can’t have it. Right? I’ve been burnt so many times that i’m now tragically careful. Not a good way to be really. I know. I met a man at Marks and sparksat Leeds train station today, whilst we were grabbing our tea in business suits quickly. I was in his way..and apologising. (I’m a clumsy fucker.) He rambled on merrily at me about how he was ‘getting his tea.’ I told him that i was doing that too. he looked at me, smiled and said, ‘it’s no way to live a life really…is it.’ I don’t know why i remember that, but i do. Hopefully the vino will numb it out of my mind in a while.

Okay, i’m off to ‘make up’ with the boy, get showered, wait for my daughter and mum and get oragnized for work tomorrow. Life couldn’t be better…i’m just keeping my fingers crossed. Lots going on!

I just want to be my glittery self and have a moment i thinky. Lol. I was meant ot be at an audition Wednesday, but i couldn’t make it i had to recshedule.

Totally Hot

Amazing day and because although it was littered with mildy dramatic moments…like being LATE for things. I hate being late for things and well basically because whenever boys I dated were LATE for me, it always meant they considered whatever they were doing during their ‘daudle’ far more important than ME! Never good. I enjoy a punctual ‘handsome’ and hate it when ‘life’ hops in and makes me tardy for important things. It was all fine though, thanks to my little ‘hero’ Keiran. (I’m madly in love with him right now…i can’t believe i have a hubby to be! I LOVE IT. *Giggle.* He is my PERFECT man in EVERY ENTIRE WAY…and i feel so lucky to simply have him.)

Oh and by the way, he moved all his stuff back in. 🙂 The funny thing about a ‘drama queen’ argument. (And we’re both beings who are quite the giants of dramatic moments.) Oh and I mean a ‘Drama Queen’ argument, where you hand move all your stuff out of your glamour pusses house, into a blue car, due to a drunken moment of ‘look at me’ anger…is the simple fact that the next morning when you’ve made up and fox trotted back to ‘fairytale’…you only have to perform the comedic act of hand moving it all back in…and with a shake of your head and a smile. I love it.

We’ve got a really strong bond right now and i feel as though we can conquer anything. (Hang on..i’m cooking tea and i being the domestic Goddess that I am..i think i’m burning things.)

Okay, i’m back.

Great day. i’m not gonna tell you too much about it. But I will say it involved a jolly group of people, intending to commit to a ‘good deed,’ (including moi)…which turned into accidentally lighting a birthday cake, under a smoke alarm, with the lights off…which then turned into the FIRE ALARM *honking* quite #non-stop and MADLY…which THEN made an ENTIRE building HAVE TO accidentally evacuate…lol…whilst there’s laughter, ‘uh-oh’s…and swearing in the dark to mini-me clothes.

I’ve had a wonderful day and an even better night. Keiran is being a dream and treating me like an utter Princess. He looks at me and tells me how much we’re meant to be and well that’s how you know you’re ‘handsome’ adores you. I couldn’t be happier right now. Life has certainly stepped it up.

I’m in Reveal Tomorrow (Tuesday) so buy your copy immediately and well what can i say other than in the last 11 weeks, soooo much has changed and developed in my little kitten life. Big decisions have been made and Cupid has been kind. I’m on my way up, with a bambino, a bit of glitter, a wad of glitzy cash and a ‘Dreamboat’ of a man, who’s tan lines make him look like he is wearing white flesh boy briefs.

If i can give you any advice ladies…it is to make sure you’re getting what you want out of life and from your man. Don’t hate on other chica’s that are…(that’s tragically telling) and instead strut forward and celebrate who YOU fricking are. It is so much hotter.

I’m soooo in love….i’ve just watched my ‘handsome’ arm rock baby Ruby to sleep. It doesn’t get sexier than that. (Well…it kinda does, but i’ll leave that between our sheets. 😉 *Wiggle-Wink*)

B is For ‘Bouji’


Welcome to Wunna….and all that pokery. I’ll begin by telling you that soooo much has happened. I found myself in a taxi home by myself last night crying away..haha…like ya do, over a boy, who i had left me at a village church by vodka, after storming off, after i stood by my fuming drunk friend Karan, who was screaming, ringing a doorbell 42 times and swearing because she had gotten locked out of her house, under the stars. For the first time in a looog time..l kinda felt alone. Like there was just ME and the world, as the taxi driver tried to look sympathetic. 🙁 But long story short…the boy ventured back…and well today, although it got to a dodgey, overly tanned (we got matching spray tans yesterday and i look black) start. It’s all been quite perfect. We’ve just had a bit of passionate, ‘i love you’ rumpy and well it just goes to show how healing a wiggle-wink and strut can be…if you add a giggle.

Okay Friday. I thought i had a loong weekend. I was auditioning for a job. I’ve been really excited about it and really hoped to do myself justice. My phone call came and what did i do? Ever so delicious…ever so glam..maneater ‘Wunna?’ Mid-phone audition, i WALK into an actual door handle, smack my nose, have it bleed insanely all over everything, like it was the red fricking sea..whilst trying to be impressively ‘pick me.’ Lol. NOW, we all know how tragic i am. But i have a story. At that point what i didn’t need was drama. Yet as always…it found me. Luckily, i did alright and was told to fill in the application.

There i am thinking i’m going ot have a merry old day with the ‘handsome,’ filled with wine and being treated to all Princess like goodies and my phone rings. Within an hour and a half, i find myself hurrying to Leeds, dolled up, panicky and hoping i’m not late, to tend to a bit of PR hosting. About an hour later, i was entertaining and gurading handbags at a Go Karting track..watching rich business men ‘do their do’ for the chance to win Grand prix tickets and a glitzy bit of champers. GREAT accidental day. Ended up on a coaah, and at the Leeds Bar and Grill..which i love due to it’s bouji-ness for ‘bought for me’ wine, giggles, mildly flirty behaviour and winks.

Got home at around 9pm. Took my handsome Keiran out to dinner by candlelight, then came home to find that he had BUILT me an entire wardrobe, chest of drawers and nightstand, plus sorted out my lighting…in the name of love. How amazing. I ADORE a ‘handsome’ who can build things in the name of love. It’s sexy. He looked at me like he wanted me forever…and i loved him. Life couldn’t be better. We had more wine and then chilled for the evening in bed, with giggles and boners. 😉 Hellooo Wunna Charm.

You’d think we’d have an amazing nights sleep right, after a bit of ‘hanky panky.’ But the Gods had a different idea. Firstly Keiran decided to shout out loud in his sleep ALL NIGHT…(‘GET OFF ME, you CHEATING fucking CHEATING bastards.’) Lol. THEN, as we were just settling back down…(i was stressing about work, he was looking at Playboy on his Iphone) the burglar alarm decided to ruin our lives and repeatedly GO OFF, FOR THE NEXT HOUR on it’s own accord, with a stubborn mechanical, ‘fuck you’ of ‘mwah-ha-ha.’ We were running around maked and in nighties at 4.30am, pressing every button we could and screwdriving every hole that looked like it might aid our pain of ‘bleep-bleep.’ Keiran finally saved the day. (Again sexy…especially when naked.) It decided to hush and at 5.30am..maybe 6am..we finally got to sleep.

Woke up the next morning….i had my nails done, as he went to his new golf lessons…then we tending to matching orange spray tans, followed by lunch in Pontefract, which was filled with fun, laughter and afternoon booze. My favourite.We were both really happy and both on the brink of life and living it to the upmost. All was perfect, so we made a fun phone call to hang out with karan..wine and Disarno happened. That’s how we ended up drinking at the the Village church to a rock band.

We fought. Bad fought.

He drove home and took everything that was his out of my house leaving the keys under a brown wheely bin. I taxied home crying. I got home. He turned up wanting his pumps, after apparently walking around a late night PIG FARM??

Long story short, we were screaming at each other, crying, yelling, and fighting for what we believed was right. then out of nowhere we agreed to re-love each other, made bacon sandwiches (gourment ones ofcourse ;)) then went to bed.

Woke up this morning, naked and half angry. We bickered a little..all the time being in love with one another. Then i paused, as i laid on his side and said ‘can’t we just make up??’ Then just like that..and with a ‘yeah baby’ we were back to our little fairytale…after a bit of rumpy ofcourse. 🙂

We’ve had an amazing day…and lucnhed at The Dam Inn with wine. We enjoyed a carvery. He got a boner. We laughed out loud, and he looked at me like he loved me more than anything in this world. I’ve never felt so special..this ‘handsome’ treats me like a Queen, like a Princess…like i’m the absolute object of his desire and i love it!! Then some girl told him that she missed him and ruined everything by calling me a ‘whore.’ Lol.

Now, we’re at home chilling with wine and crisps. I’ve decided the only job for me is ‘IT’ Girl. What say you?? *Wiggle-wink*

Good times lay ahead. Feeling AMAZING…:) 🙂