Oh My Goooood!

Doing it My Way


Totally had a slumber party with Baby Ruby last night. Not my usual tragic party of playboy bunnies in nighties, giggling to boyband members and their new pieces of vajazzle. *Rolls eyes.* This bit of  party of ‘slumber‘… that we ever so much enjoy, is simply when Baby Ruby decides she’s far tooo ‘IT’ to nestle for the night alone in her moses basket and therefore demands that she sleeps through the entire night in the bed of her Mummy (ME) and Daddy (Loverboy.) We’re always super careful when we let her do such a thing. But I have a bambino that is addicted to loves cuddles and company.

I do like Julie because today’s the day she told me I was ‘amazing mum.’ All new mums like to hear this. Infact, even if you’re not a mum..you like to hear that your amazing. Therefore yeah…all was well with Lil’ Baby Ruby. I don’t think she could be loved and worshipped anymore. Yet I was told that i need to try and take in more calories. My sudden weight loss seems to be of high concern? (‘You don’t even look like you’ve had a baby Christina?’ You need to make sure you’re looking after YOU, as well as the baby.’) Like I said, i don’t know how but the weight has just dropped off? But i will say that I just haven’t had time to get a proper meal in. In 13 days i’ve dropped down from a preggo UK sized 14…to an almost 8. When people point out my weight…it makes me worry. Especially because I only began my baby weight diet yesterday! The other thing she mentioned was to make sure i took my full maternity leave. Julie looked at me with her loving eyes of concern and said ‘You don’t always have to be this superwoman. You’ve been through a giant ordeal.’ I guess, I’m just not that keeny on letting anyone down? Yet the number one ‘being’ who i never want to let down is my new baby daughter. I know i couldn’t love anything more and simply because i let have my ‘limelight.‘ Lol. (Aww..Pete is offering me Wine Gums like he loves me.)

The rest of the day is going to be all about the book, book, book! It’s really something that won’t take me long to polish off. It’s like one of those ever lasting meals that you’ve been told to sit at the table and EAT, when you’re unable to leave the table, until you’ve presented the cleanest of plates. Yet in my defence…when others write their books, they sit down for a few weeks and get it all done and dusted with a gun. (Code for: ‘Hire a ghost writer.’)  I’ve written ALL of mine myself (hence why it’ll be tragic..but you’ll love it) and well during the process of mine, i’ve worked a full day job, worked my showbizzy duties, been pregnant, moved home, found a new love and had a whole entire bambino sprout out of my body during the big old ‘write.’ Before finishing my book, my vagina has actually squeezed out a rather beautiful little girl. If that isn’t Girl Power, then I don’t know what is! [Commit to

I’m getting loads of messages from people who want to know if i’m on ‘OMG! Peaches’ tonight and I am. I didn’t know that i was until i read the TV guide, that describes the upcoming episode and it mentioned ‘Fame.’ Therefore I WILL be waddling onto your screens tonight and I will be joyously ridiculed for it. 🙂 However make sure you watch it and try not to send me hate mail. I loved being on the show. It really was an adventure. I loved that I had baby Rubes living inside my belly during the show and well Lord Knows how Mz.Wunna will get edited. After all that hoopla..I believe I definitely deserve my own show. But saying that, having this blog is kinda like already having one…yet it’s done via written word. A safer option…as I get to edit it. 🙂 

 Loverboy and i never got around to making pancakes yesterday. We kept it ethnic and ordered 1/4lb Chattanooga burgers at 11pm instead. Wahey! I adore my little hip/hop famliy of fabulosity! I accessorize with a  *wiggle* and a *wink.* Pete marches forward with a ‘willy,’ but a sweet shyness and Ruby’s ‘Plus one’ is a bear, who i’ve named ‘Wootsie.’ (I enjoy how Ruby is not a box on the medical ethnicity chart. The Health Visitor puzzled over it for ages, so I just politely grabbed the chart and ticked ‘Mixed other.’ We need a good term for a Black, White, Asian baby? Well one that isn’t just ‘Hot.’) Oh and whoever the repulsive perv was, that text  me a ‘R U horny’ last night… needs to at least wait until my stitches have healed. 🙂

Aww..Pete’s brought me back a salad. Must go! Book! Book! Book!


Baby Ruby                                                         Loverboy

Offically Legal

Just got back from registering my little ‘Baby Ruby’ at the Pontefract Registration Office. I’m always dead nervous, when I enter official buildings, that were built in the days of old. The people in them always seem to want to *spit* me out. Looking  like a cast member from ‘Gypo Wedding’ didn’t do me any favours. I really need a bundle of new clothes. Being preggo and having to wear fuschia joggers for 7 of the 9 growing months, kinda buried me in a rut of ‘fashion crime.’ I’ve lost my bambino weight, yet still feeling a bit too safe in my preggo clothes. I’m like a proper ‘whispers in her sleep’ weirdo, right now. I did however, rock the faux fur right into that joint of ‘registration’…with these ridiculously ginormous eyelashes of ‘hooch,’ flat knee high boot and a pinny. I actually got my faux fur sleeve trapped in my baby’s bottle, which again isn’t too promising, when you’re in whore eyelashes and trying to give off the impression that you really really are a decent human being. (I always want people to see beyond the lashes. It’s the way I test how clever a human is.)

We got there…late. (Pete’s vain as hell. He goes through 42 outfit changes for a simple, ‘I’m a new daddy’ stroll.) I have to get baby bottles and nappies ready, whilst bronzing my left cheek and kissing Ruby on her right cheeky. We’ve actually got the hang of this whole parent thing now and we’re pretty damn good at it. It’s definitely a 2 person job. I mean, we were prepped for a whole night time circus of ‘Ruby won’t go to sleep’ drama. Yet just to prove us wrong…she made the executive decision to sleep through the entire night. Pete laid there in his red boxers and I laid there with ultimate fear of her crying. Then we just went to bed because she must’ve got bored of us. Whenever she sleeps through the night, i’m always thoroughly proud of myself. Like it means i’m a really great mum. Lol. (Pete’s really into wearing his tight red boxers right now? He wears them everywhere and to do everything. I mean, i’m sure i’ll open a cupbaord one day and find Pete in there adorning the ‘reds.’ Last time I opened a door…I found him bent over, naked and rummaging in a laundry basket. A normal boy, would simply *blush* or do the ‘helicopter.’ Pete closes the door, only to open it with a sock on his willy, whilst doing an impression of a mildy disabled French teacher. I’m obviously bringing out the best in him. ) I wish you could see what we have to go through in order to attempt to raise a delightfully happy baby. It’s certainly a jolly rollercoaster. Oh and we utterly appreciate all the lovely messages me recieved from you all offering to help us out and take care of our bambino, whenever we feel half full.) Know that after deciding to soldier forward…we’re doing pretty alright….for now. My mum did come around yesterday evening, in order to prop me up emotionally with her asian ‘fighting’ talk. I always love the magical Burmese ‘fighting’ talk. It does greatness for my confidence. I really do have a great mum. (Ooh i’ve found grapes. grapes are never good unless they’re either pre-squashed to form wine or they’re being fed to you in a glamourous ‘Arabian nights’ kinda atmosphere.) Infact Pete’s friend Loreto came over yesterday in between meetings to bring us gifts and have a peeky at the fruit of my loins. I believe the boys were astonished that they were now grown ups. They also (whilst in *awe* of my daughter) managed to describe everything Ruby did as…‘Minature.‘ I love that!!!!

Anyway yeah..(God my stomach muscles are KILLING from the merry stroll into town.) We ended up going to about 33 different supermarkets for our weekly shop. Pete enjoys a supermarket and indulges with the finest buys ‘Morrisons’ has to offer. (I totally ran into a gent by the garlic bread, who i last saw in a strip club, doing alcopops and hip/hop ‘shoulder bumps’ to Kid Rock. I mean, whatelse would one do in a strip club to Kid Rock. I didn’t know what to say really other than mention stippers..by bread? Very Chrissie Wunna. But I did aske him what he was up to…and well he responded with a ‘Living the high life…’ Followed by a delightful face of utter sarcasm. He did a face that was screamed ‘Get away from me Wunna…with your life of wonder and all that! You will get spat on. 🙂 ‘ I tottered off with my pram and and rather ouchie vagina! I mean OMG..when will it stop being so swelly. It feels like a humped back whale.

It’s all got a bit panicky

I’m completely stressed. I’ve had a night of ‘no sleep’ due to ‘Baby Ruby’ believing that staying up until 5am, whilst hysterically screaming to the merry tune of ‘non-stop.’ I’m on my very last ‘trooper’ legs now and although i’m still waving and smiling…my wiggle has cretainly lost it’s ‘va voom.’ I’m not even exhausted. I’m beyond that. I’m in a haze of ‘bits and pieces.’ I feel as though i’ve been granted half an hours sleep, only to wake up immediately, have time to half groom and then venture off to Pontefract hospital to get my bambinos hearing test ticked off the ‘things to do’ check list. I sort of muddled my way through the bright new corridors of the new hospital, in a daze with a baby bottle in my hand and Loverboy to my left, holding Ruby in the portable car seat. We have a baby that attracts a great deal of attention..which we love. I mean she’s our pride and joy, so we have no problems celebrating her. However, all i remember from this morning is trying to get to the correct floor, at the correct time, for the correct test, with a really bad weave…whilst being stopped every so often by the merry morning folk of Pontefract, who wanted to congratulate us on our beautiful girly. (Who was wearing diamante socks and bear ears.) The outside me, was ever the entertainer. The inside me was kitty cat exhausted. I really do appreciate how kind everyone is being though. I feel a definite support of warmth from the masses. Like were being cheerled on and propped up when we’re at our weakest. Not everyone gets to recieve such love…so more than ever, i’m truely grateful.

Having a bambino is the most wonderful thing you could ever do. But like most wonderful things..it ain’t easy. Newborn’s really do test your inner strength. I feel as though i’ve unzipped myself from my exterior parcel of flesh almost 102 times, stepped out of my ‘being’ and pulled through that extra little bit of strength that you need in order to make it all work. It’s about being unbelievably selfless. Yet no matter how stressed I get. (And i am currently feeling much better now, that i’ve blogged it all out and had a visit from the midwife ‘Tracey’ about a minute ago.) When you feel like you can no longer take it anymore…you pick your tiny baby up and she just looks at you with her wide eyes of excitement and a smile that innocently radiates happiness, as her cry dies down to a giggle and you realize how worth it, it ALL is.  My baby Ruby is a gift from the kitty cat heavens…our miracle baby. I mean, she could’ve died at birth. But like her Mother…she troopered her way through and lived to tell the tale. I adore her.

I will say that in my weakest moment of ‘last legs’ yesterday evening. (Well it was 3am.) Pete really took his stance as a father. He really impressed me. For the first time ever, I watched him ‘hero’ his way with the baby and muscle through the entire evening with this Ultimate strength of ‘Daddio.’ He was amazing. Like some kind of irrepressable super dad. He certainly took the reins and well i was weirdly surprised. I’ve noticed that if I praise Pete on how wonderful a Father he is, he really champions forward with a indestructible confidence. The good thing about our relationship is the fact that we are a TEAM. When one of us is temporarily drowning…the other becomes ‘mighty’ and takes over the running of our world! It’s magical. I’m very very lucky.

I’m really glad that my panic is now over because OMG, I was all over the place. I had a stream of questions flooding my mind.  ‘How am I going to get all my work done? How am I going to finish off my book? Will it get easier? Am I a good mum? I just need help! ‘ I basically needed a ‘Time out.’ A moment to chill. I mean Pete’s been helpful now, yet in the earlier stages he was almost numb and found his Xbox more interesting. It’s been lovely…but hard.

Now, i’m all good. Well almost all good. I still need to *breathe* it out. I think I have it down and can handle it like a champion. People all over the world, go through this EVERYDAY and a lot of them do not have it as easy as Me. I’m manning up and strutting forward. I’m done with my pity party. Lol. I’m reaching for my leopard print heels and i’m soldiering on like a trooper! Chanel bag and baby in tow! Wish me luck.

Happy Anniversary To Meeeee


Happy ONE YEAR Anniversary to MEEEEEE!!! I made it. I’ve finally managed to snag a ‘Handsome’ that I truely adore, who one year later not only adores me right back…but is actually deliciously wonderful to me. [Applaud Here.] I woke up this morning to the man of my dreams, who thank godly was in nothing more than the hottest red boxer shorts..the tight kind that make you *swoon*with a flutter. Red boxers are only worth it, when they’re on a gentleman that you delight in, Father Christmas…or a ‘Baywatch’ cast member. I’ve always thought that our relationship works because alongside the ‘love part’ of the whole shindig, we still know how to keep it ‘ooh laa.’ Even a year later, we’ll still flirt with one another and keep it’ sexy sexy.’ We try never to take each other for granted and 98% of the time focus on what we adore about each other, rather than the tiny spots of ‘negatory’ that may litter our love for one another. (I’m typing this whilst trying to feed a baby…who is quite charmingly dressed as a hip/hop baby pink bear! 🙂 )

This morning, i gifted Pete with a surprise bubbling bottle of champers to mark our one year anniversary. (I mean you’d think ‘Baby Ruby’ would be enough…yet why not decorate her arrival & our first year of love with champers? It’s the ‘Wunna’ way.) It’s also apparently the first ever bottle of champagne that Pete has ever been gifted with. Which I found mildy bizarre, due to the amount of champers that I have ungracefully managed to *guzzle* during my entire existance. (*Flashback* of Me at an anniversary party at ‘The Abbey’ in West Hollywood, being lifted into the air by gays named ‘Randy,’ cheering with a bottle of Moet in each hand, whilst being sang to by men who thought I was ‘beautiful,’ by a grand piano….as (get this) Christina Aguilera watched on from a V.I.P booth. )

However, I do adore ‘firsts‘ and both Pete & I have experienced a merry bundle of ‘firsts’ with one another. It not only brought a smile to my face knowing how happy I had made him feel. *Produces champagne from under the bed.* Yet I have this theory that experiencing ‘firsts’ with people…whoever they may be..always bonds you to them closely. Whether you like it or not! (Pete’s currently wrapped in wires on the living room floor, as he tries his skills at being a handy man. He’s all excited because my baby weight has seemed to have dropped off and i’m in skin tight grey leopard print. He hasn’t seen ‘not pregnant’ Chrissie in a looong time and therefore goes in for the occasional bum grab. Kinda makes me feel good knowing that he still fancies a bit of the old ‘Wunna.’ (OMG…i’m totally being distracted by the whole ‘TEAM’ thing on Dancing on Ice! How can you not love it!)

Anyway, I’ve had a wonderful day. I actually attempted my first glass of wine yesterday evening, after my 9 month trail of sobriety. I was rubbish at it. Thoroughly rubbish at it. It made me feel light headed after half a glass of red. Put me right off my duck in plum sauce too. It kinda made me feel like I was not being a good enough Mother and simply because I had soiled my rather pure ‘9 month no drinking much’ system. I gave in and guzzled down a bottle of water, after eating Fortune cookies over baby Ruby. (You just don’t get more asian than that!)

I’m having a marvellous time being a Mummy. My daughter is delicious!! I adore her and live every moment for her. Just to prove that you never know what life is going to throw at you. Know that this time last year, I was in a zebra print nighty, drunk and on my way to Leeds with Harriet, to go to the Christian Audigier event at ‘The Loft.’ I was about to meet Loverboy, after having my heart a bit broken by another recent gent from ‘Loserville.’  

Little did I know that on that night, this exact time last year, Loverboy would end up being the man of my entire dreams or that even one year later we’d still be together and he’d be the Father to my first ever child. (Well done Me for making out with him in the back of a taxi and getting his number much! Being a floozy can sometimes work for you. You just have to make sure you do it stylishly. 🙂 )

Life couldn’t at all be better.

Wish upon stars

Getting back into the ‘swing of things’ really isn’t as marvellous as i thought. The art of snapping back to reality…which in my world means a whole different thing…is rather difficult, when you’re a kitty cat lovingly lost in a powder puffed, world of magic, ultimate happiness, that seems to be glittered down with a stardust of hope. I’m adoring every new moment that i’m having, with my very handsome boy of ‘Lover-Lover’ and my darling doll of a new daughter ‘Baby Ruby,’ that the simple idea of rubbing my eyes, and waking up from my whirlwind joy of ‘Cloud 9’ really is something that i don’t think i can handle without the bubbly ease of champagne. If you can’t handle the inital change of life flow. I’m all for doing it with a bubbled over glass of ice cold love. It takes the edge off the ‘back to reality’ swing of things, and makes the transition less of a shock! ( I LOVE that Ruby copies my faces!!! HAHA.)

Life right now is wonderful not only am I being a a rather marvellous Mother. (But I secretly always new i would be. I mean, how could i go wrong, with a tan like this and lips that only feel good when being kissed. :)) But i’m also (one week later) managing to get a great deal of work done. Yeah, i’m having to work from home and yeah…i’m finding it incredible because i’m getting to be with my bambino. (Aww ‘Loverboy’ just blew me a kiss from the sofa & my mum just text me to see if I wanted a pair of cheap pyjamas from Primark.) I will say that i prefer to be with Ruby all of the time and simply because I can’t seem to trust anyone else raising her. However, i think that’s normal for a new mum. Rubes & I get on like a house on fire. I’ve now successfully taught her how to *wink.* We do an exchange of them behind Daddy’s back in the morning. I’ve been a mum now for one whole week and it is truely better than anything I could have ever dreamed of. I’m gonna hate leaving her to go back to work. 🙁 Yet bringing in the moola is definitely a priority on my list. I never want her to go without anything and luckily…she won’t have to. (I adore that she’s brought out a ‘silly’ side to Pete. I’ve never seen him so happy!!! He’s usually quite shy, but the birth of Ruby has opened him up to a whole new world. He’s an all singing, all dancing Daddio and not only is he being the most romantic gentleman ever. But he also said that he finally feels part of a family. Maybe like i do…he now feels safe.

Last night, after baby bathtime…half lovely, half like a wrestling match. I sat with ‘Ruby’ on my knee as Pete and I watched a night time movie before bed. i got thes really weird ‘flashbacks’ of my time in Hollywood. (Remember I spent the whole of my 20’s growing up there.) I thought of all the things I had achieved. All the things i had seen. All the things I had done and all the trouble that i may have caused. I remembered a series of boys that I dated. They flew through my mind like a trailer of fast foward movies. I remember how much I used to love this guy called ‘Ryan.’ How obsessed I was with him from the moment our eyes met across a crowded night time bar. I remember all the good times we shared and then i remember how accidentally awful he used to make me feel. It was a time when i was tragically chasing love and yeah he liked me too…but it just went too far. I remembered all of the times i was truely disappointed by boys. When you want them to call and they never do. When you want them to love you and they never can. When they all of a sudden respond to you…yet it’s never for very long. Then how all the boys you didn’t care for…always always adored you. Ryan and I have this really amazing, tragic story of friendship. (We don’t talk now.) I don’t know why it has embedded so deeply in my mind…but it has. I will tell you the whole tale one day. But I just haven’t gotten around to absorbing it all. My entire ‘being’ is filled with my life stories. I could write this blog forever and still not get everything out! I wish you could see into my life.

Anyway, i jolted out of that moment with a suddne blast of relief. The reason why i ‘Flashbacked’ to such a time because it was a time when i truely felt the most lost. I looked to my right and there laid Pete. My Loverboy. The boy that always called when i wanted him to. The boy that promised to love me forever and did. The boy that held me up when i was falling. The boy that cried with me, laughed with me, loved with me…and well i can’t believe how WONDERFUL it feels to finally have all the pieces to my jigsaw fit perfectly. (Well I still have a piece that i need to chisel to size.)

I guess what i’m trying to say is, that in life you just have to ‘trooper forward’ knowing that your time will come. (I have a Tattoo on the inside of my left arm reading ‘MARCH‘ to remind me of this!!) I’ve enjoyed a rather glamourously awful time, decorated in tinsel and the occasional drunken lie. But i’ve laughed all of the way and embraced it, all over the world, knowing that one day marvellous things would happen to me. They did and i’m truely grateful for every single moment of it. I cannot believe how rolling that dice and always doing things MY WAY and fearlessly, ended in such marvel. 

I can’t believe i haven’t been out of the house for a week. A whole week. I need air. I just don’t want to *pop* this ‘Wunna Land’ bubble of current glory that i’m in. I’ve even had my phone on ‘silent.’ I know right….fan me down.

*Anyway, above is a quick 15 second clip of me during my contractions on the ‘Labour ward’ at Ponty hospital. They were prepping me for my epidural..which went wrong a highly comedic 3 times. I’m there mildy ‘Oooh’-ing…even though it HURT like the bitches. Yet notice how the midwife (Who I actually adored, due to her dry sense of humour) randomly pisses herself laughing for a moment at my utter discomfort and then quickly stops when  she realizes she may have laughed out loud! HAHAHA. This is my life. (Erm..why is my phone on a map of Germany again??)

The swiggedy swing of it all

I’ve weirdly pretty much lost all of my baby weight? I’m not sure how this has happened? But i’m liking it. When preggo, i went up to a jolly old size 14-16. This morning, when I rose from my rather rosy chambers…7 days later I can fit into my old clothes? In a week, i’ll be back to a healthy size 8 and if i’m being honest it feels delicious, to look in the mirror and finally see MY

I must go smooch her and sort out my life plan. Very busy day much! Can’t wait til i can rock skinny jeans and leopard print heels again. Gimme a week!

*On a more serious note: I actually love that Pete and I are doing a lot of dreaming right now. All  successful hooplas begin with a  single thought, an idea…a dream. I’m great at the whole making the old dream come true. Therefore a casual lot of planning for the future and sharing of goals and ideas are being made, on our sofa. It’s the first time we’ve really united as a family and i’m happiest when we’re all doing life together! (Even though I am currently yelling at Pete for taking off his woolly cape like, black dressing gown and just dropping it on the floor for ME…Ultimate Glamour Puss Extra-ordinaire…to pick up. ‘OMG !!PICK THAT UP PETE! YOU’RE NOT FRICKIN’ BATMAN!!!’) But i’ll let him off and because I enjoy that he’s singing ‘A miiiilllion love songs…’ to Ruby right now. Why do I have period pains right now? I better not be another baby in there?????

Meet The Family

Chrissie Wunna (Me) : The Ultimate Glamour Puss & Basic Queen of Greatness. Blogger, Model, Reality Tv Personality. Winker. Pouter. Girlfriend. Writer. Cosmetics line owner. Nuisance. Champion. Loser. Winner. Work in PR for a gym.

Party at Dawn baby!

I’ve had about one hours sleep! Yippee! Baby Ruby (oh she’s loving all your Tweets by the way…she pretends like she’s reading them with mummy, whilst doing ‘ooh’ faces on my boobie) fooled me into believing that she was going to sleep through the whole night again. I quite cockily thought that this whole apparent ‘sleepless night’ malarky, was going to be a *wiggle,* a *wink* and a breeze. *Puts on nipple tassles- shimmies at you, before packing them right away until i no longer have milk dripping out the ends of my jubblies!*

Loverboy, slept through the whole of the jiggery pokery. LOL. I mean, bless him. He did TRY and do the night-time shift. He’s just an 8hr guy. Luckily, this is where being a previous Kitty Queen of Party. A delicious drizzle of creamy coated candy flavoured ‘

Anyway, he’s walking the Great Wall of China (hahaha…sorry I don’t know why i find that funny. It’s just the thought of moany Gay Adam stranded on a GIANT wall…and in fricking CHINA!! HAHAHAHA.) It’s actually all in aid of a cancer charity called ‘The Christie’ and he obviously needs to raise 3k for them. I’m gonna help bring awareness to his plight to make the world a better place. I’m all for a do-gooder. They’re never as bad as people make out. Apart from the breast feeding ‘nazi‘ girl, who came to my appartment, with the devil in her eyes and the will of trying to force to squeeze my boob into the mouths of others!  I bitch slapped her with a *look.* The fact that she referred to HER

It’s All About Ruby


Okay, yesterday at around 11.29am, I got the ‘Baby Blues.’ Now don’t get all worried. I’m terribly in love with Ruby…infact rather too in love with her, to the point where i’ve become highly protective over her. The first two nights, we’re definitely what i’ve heard labelled as ‘sleepless.’ (I mean, how annoying is it when everyone rambles on about how you’ll never sleep again.‘Oooh the sleepless nights.’ Hardly positive…but very British of us.) However, after the initial 2 nights of having to be awake all through the night, with sore lady parts, backache, a mild case of fear…it’s actually no longer that bad. I’m on the mend. Ruby slept through the entire night last night. (OMG she’s gorgeous. OMG, I hate that my *space bar* isn’t working efficiently. I can’t express myself fast enough!! ANNOYING!)

I had a big cry yesterday because I felt that Pete wasn’t helping me enough. (Oh Hellooo hormones. Nice to meet you again. When will it end!) The ‘Baby Blues’ creeps up on you, because you’ve been through such an emtoional and physical ordeal. I’mapparently still in shock…so every so often when i find myself alone…I commit to a giant Princess weep. I’ve never adored anyone or anything as much as I adore Ruby and I love the family Loverboy & I have created. We have a new world..a life. It’s quite a lot to absorb.

Anyway, the other day I felt that Pete was expecting ME to do all the work. (We’re different people. We react to things in alternate fashions.) He was not getting up in the middle of the night and playing on his Xbox instead of watching her for me for just a moment. He was enjoying the whole ‘showing’ Ruby off and boasting about her to all of his friends. (We’ve had a lot of visitors that I pretty much haven’t been ready for as of yet.) I remember going to the toilet for a minute, hearing her scream…rushing back into the living room, where I had left her with Pete. I opened the door and he jumped up off the sofa as fast as he could and ran to the Moses basket, to pretend like he had been 100% watching her the whole time. I was furious!! But bizarrely didn’t say ANYTHING. I felt like he didn’t care…even though he actually cares more than anyone.

The next morning. Day 4. I woke up, couldn’t take his manner anymore. (Yeah, i get that he’s overwhelmed…blah, blah, blah and hasn’t been through this before. BUT NEITHER HAVE I!! I’m meant to be in recovery. I’m doing everything…and I can’t really move my body without it killing in places you didn’t know you had.) I burst into tears and yelled at him, dolloped with ‘Home truth’ galore. I mean, in my mind he had no excuse. ‘What? You can’t get up at 4am for a feed, because you WATCHED someone have an entire human being squeezed out of their vagina?? I don’t care if you’re overwhelmed. Man up. It’s a two person job!!’

The midwife came over and told me that feeling that way was normal for a new mum and since that bit of  ‘yell’ Loverboy has been nothing but PERFECT!!!! He’s woken up for every early morning feed, he’s been loving, kind, romantic and the most adorable father. He’s helped me every moment of the way, cooked dinner, given both his girls smoochies and really stepped up to the plate. I LOVE IT!! All he needed was a little guidance. (Well a giant yell.) I mean, having our baby Ruby is such a deep rooted emotional bulge of goshly for Pete. Incase you didn’t know, he was adopted from birth into a loving family and well Ruby is pretty much the first person in his ENTIRE LIFE that he has as blood…which is something a lot of us take for granted. He became distant during Day 2& 3 simply because he had never felt a love like this before. Yesterday he opened up. Yeah it made him cry…but I made him realize that it’s not only normal, yet also lovely to feel that way! When Pete feels he closes up emotionally. When I feel…i tell the world joyously! I’ve never been happier and we’ve NOW.. never been better. Thank the Good Lord for it!!! I can’t believe i have such a beautiful baby girl!! AND one that does ‘Oooh‘ faces. (Totally getting a *Flashback* of not daring to wee in a bed pan, after the birth at the hospital, due to my vagina feeling like it had been through an utter trauma. Aww..see…it does have feelings! It was like ‘Hang on, last time i pushed CRAZY things happened, you bitch!’ The lovely midwife popped something in my bladder and a gentle neat bend of Wunna wee, fountained its way out. I imagined to be laying back in my hospital gown, legs open, with a glittery fountain of youth beautifully flowing out of my ‘flooze,’ making rainbow-like arches from my vagina into the carboard bed pan..like I’m some kind of Goddess. But really i was just pissing myself and ungracefully staining all the bed sheets with blood and maybe a bit of poo. Nice. Not really a problem for me. I lost my dignity ages ago. I’ve done a lot worse. 🙂 )

My baby daughter Ruby has now been on this earth for 6 days!!! I love every tiny bit of her. The way she copies all my faces and knows how to work a bear hat! 🙂 I mean…she can already even wink. Whilst the rest of the mums are trying to teach their children the important things like words and walking. I’m here making sure Rubes gets the main basic tools to being a Wunna (Well a ‘Wattis’) down. Your walk is nothing without a*wink* girl. 🙂 I’ve never felt so amazing in my entire life!!

Thankyou for ALL of your messages. Pete and I have been reading through all your hundreds of Tweets, emails and Facebook inboxes. I love the bouquet of balloons that I recieved from ‘Xercise4less.’ Oh and yesterday a giant Interflora arrangement arrived on our doorstep from the BBC…congratulating us on our newborn. How lovely!!

It really is comedy trying to watch Loverboy & I raised our bambino. We’re like two eskimo nose rubbing….spare parts!!! Luckily we have GREAT mums!!! Let me tell you…We’ve never appreciated them more!! It’s not at all easy…but I wouldn’t have it any other way! I adore her!!!

I’m actually gonna try and get a bit of work done today. Pete’s out teaching the nation to drive and well i’ve got to finish off writing my book and input data entry for the gym asap. (My day job.) It’s time to get back to ‘action’ slowly but surely. I’m now a Glamour Puss, an ‘about to be’ authour…a MUM…a soon to be wifey…and with a day job in PR for a gym. A lot to juggle. I’m working three worlds at once.

There is video footage of the birth, that I’ll be plonking up when I have time. Well…snippets of it, before Pete fainted. 🙂 It’s our own home video of the old hoopla…but later on in the year you will beable to watch it on the telly. (The BBC have much better footage than we do. Ours is full of swearing and comedy.)

I LOVE MY DAUGHTER!!!! I also love that she’s watching deaf children jump in and out of swimming pools, with really clumsy clowns and overly chipper childrens tv presenters..with a face of ultimate glee. Later i’ll teach her to*hair-toss.* Actions before words. 🙂 This is why Pete should’nt leave me alone with her. I already sang songs about birdies to her by a fridge, (she loves music) and she gave me a look that went a bit like : ‘What the hell are you*&^&*&% doing? Where’s the otherparent???’