Yep totally got my boobie squidged today by a workmate, which pretty much means i’m back to being delicious. You can’t go wrong when a ‘handsome’ honks your left boob during a delightful moment of perversed comedy. I feel sexy once more, like my *Va Voom* is soooooo back.
Been at work all day. Had no sleep again due to having a newborn. I’m loving it though. Mummyhood rocks. Especially when you’ve graduated the early stages of it and place a wonderbra on, a crown, then work ‘it’ for the masses, like you’re too hot to trot. I’ve pretty much been wasting all of my time doing that. It’s fun being *sizzle* again. I’m loving the attention, the ‘oohs’ and the ‘laas.‘ I’m Chrissie Wunna and oh hello bitches [Purr here]…I’M BACK! *Hip Bump-Breast feed*
If i’m being honest work was a bit stressful today. Yet because I felt hot, it didn’t really matter. If you’re in a body hugging dress, you can never accesorize with a frown. Only happy chicks get laid. (Remember that!) The more ‘cheery, life and soul of the party-without being annoying’ you are…the more the fellas with a holla. I mean, look at me. Boys dig me and i’m a prize twat. I do ‘twat’ with a giggle…and well, it never ever fails. 🙂 (I’m talking dribble because i’m exhausted. Forgive me. But take notes.)
I talked about bikinis and how a lovely lady had her hubby tug and pull her boobs into her position this morning. I’ve laughed. I longed and i’ve missed my little ‘dumpling.’ (Who is ‘Ruby.’ I refer to her as my little dumpling and it doesn’t have anything to do with smelling like pork.)
I’m feeling much better than i did last night and because i really do have the most wonderful Loverboy. Pete is the love of my life. But the kind of life love that every little girl dreams about. You know how you here it in fairytales? He is that. The most loving and most understanding gentleman, that any girl would wish for. Last night he did an ‘African Bum Dance’ in order to make me smile. 🙂 He gets naked places a towel around his waist. Drops it below his him, *juts* it out and commits to ‘bum’ dancing…like he’s African. He doesn’t think it’s racist because he’s half black. I find it hilarious!!! Then he cuddled me on the sofa told me I was beautiful and how much he loved me. It can’t be bad. (It must be because i bought him corriander chicken?) I’ve noticed that whenever it’s my turn to cook, we either eat out or the food is pre-cooked and purchased. Don’t hate! I’m a domestic goddess! I trip over hoovers and tell people to move them.
The main reason why I ended up being so chipper today is simply down to Chris Moyles. I’m sooo impressed with his Radio One marathon thing, ( i watched it all the way through, like a stalker) and well the fact that he ended up raising over £2million for Comic Relief made me smile. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy on my drive to work this morning. He’s made history and I always find that sexy! Especially when you can file it under ‘Do Gooder.’ That’s major points with Buddha.
Anyway, i’m tired and my family are around, so i’m needing to get going and be social. (My mums holding my baby and weirdly talking about prostitutes.) Pete brought Ruby into my work today. (I love the people i work with. It was good to see Matt. I haven’t seen him in ages. I actually missed him farting on me.) Little Ruby was a bit hit. Everyone was so excited to see her, hold her, pictures where taken and ‘awwing’ was tended to. It was lovely. I mean, all ym work colleagues knew Ruby as the *bump* and nurtured her with outside world chitter chatter, arguing, love, laughter and swaering, until she made her entrance into the world. We all feel connected to her, because we ALL experienced her as The BUMP.
Lisa, Lucy, Bex and Matt were the lucky ones that got to ‘have a hold’ and my lil’glamour puss made ‘Mama’ utterly proud by being a true showgirl and performing ridiculously cute comedic faces. I think she even trumped on Matt and grabbed onto him like she owned him.
Life is great. I’m feeling popular and adored. I’m starving. I’m glad I have no work tomorrow. I’ll be working on my book. I have great opportunities coming my way and well It all couldn’t be more perfect.
I’m watching Comic Relief. If you do anything tonight and your in Britain. Please Please DO give a little ‘something something’ to Comic Relief and save a life. Life is all we have and even though we all deserve a fair shot at 100yrs, not everyone gets one. If you save a life. Your life will be saved. £1 could change the entire life of another ‘being’ on the otherside of the world. How amazing. I’ve donated…so should you!
I love you.