The Ego has Landed!

Most AMAZING day ever! Oh my word! This little kitty cat is making cleverly ‘sexy‘ much, stiletto shaped marks of  glory, va voom, giggle and what’s that word i’m looking for? Oh yeah…stardom! It was meant to be a dandy little

I’m F****** Fabulous

Had the most delicious day today! Right from the start, i was filled to the brim with the ‘happy happy-ooh yeah’ and let me tell you, i’ve been ON TOP of THE WORLD…infact I still am!!! I have wine. I have ‘Ooh laa.’ I’m loving my world of Kitty Cat  and well life has been nothing but GREAT today and to be honest, it seems it has for everyone. WOOHOO! (*Bra pings off*)

I’ve shopped all day, in an odd white faux fur, pink, and yellow, Bimbo barbie colours, a cheeky glint in my eye and armed with a spending problem. I went to Doncaster. (I go a lot…it was the town that birthed me and after my ‘years long’ stretch in good old Holly Hollywood, it seems i appreciate Doncaster a great deal more.) But yeah, i walked the jubblies around the town center with my Mother. Had lunch at the worst place i have ever eaten in my life. Just so you know, ‘Thai Chilli’ in Donny, is CRAP. When the best part of your meal is your BEER, than you know it’s pointless forcing food down your throat, to a background melody of ‘on repeat’ screachy oriental disco beats, and paying money you could’ve spazzed on bronzer, in that place of ‘not much great food’ joy. 🙂

To be honest, i am being a bitch, because when i walked in they were nothing but amazingly nice to me. We got the ‘power table’ and everything. (Thankyou Paris Hilton.) But, i can’t lie, the food was ‘oooh nooo,’ and i’ll eat ANYTHING. Infact, stand too close to me for too long, and i will eat YOU! (Please don’t send me *pants down* love mail, with the word ‘DINNER’ on it. I’m not in the mood…yet.) Great banoffee pie thing though. I ventured towards the dessert cart, with my hair, eyes and boobies. I was all alone. And yeah, i am TRAGIC. I’m work ‘it’ to the dessert cart, like a WHORE! Yet suddenly out of nowhere, i was surrounded by a whole crowd of men, who all apparently wanted banoffee pie, with a side of ‘floozey’ also. 🙂 LOVE MY LIFE! They were lovely. I made them carry my plate.

Anyway, after crap food, My Mother and I decide we need coffee, in order to shop. We take four steps forward, find ourselves in Curry’s, and furthermore find ourselves buying laptops, because they are PINK and because the salesman was hot. The salesmen are like vultures in there! They see me, or any other Wunna, and bee line inward, with their grubby mits a ‘rubbing.’ In 15 minutes, i’d spent a grand on two laptops i didn’t need..(UGH, coz it was FUCKING PINK…kill me) and another…for no real reason. Love it though! You only live once. I was in a great mood. We couldn’t be arsed to carry it all, so we left it there to pick up later. On the way to the shopping center, i bumped into one of my Wunnarettes ‘JOY,’ who had trained it on her own after pretending she was ill. (Aww…) I sort of looked up, saw her and Bimbo squealed. I love meeting twitter Wunna fans…especially Wunnarettes! I feel like we’re one big (misguided by Me) deliciously disgusting family. Yay! *shimmie here*

Finally got to the coffee shop…and recieved a baby sized mobbage. It’s great on days when i feel amazing, because i’ll sit, have a banter AND probably end up buying you things. (God, i’m FULL of LIFE today! Bubbly! Loving it! And i’m not even on drugs…yet!! Lol) I loved meeting everyone. I bought more bags of nonsense. Walked through stores pulling handful of jumpers that i felt i needed and throwing them into arms. Grabbed a bottle of wine, bought cat litter, found dignity, winked, waved and let my mum buy £10,000 worth of diamonds! (WTF!!! Her own money though.) My mums got the flu…it’s the only thing that makes her better. Also looked at new appartments today and got a free dildo through the mail from a company that believes i’d be a great girl to advertise their product. lol I also had a chav, grab cabbages, put them on his boobs and wiggle around, doing my voice, pretending they were MY boobs… at Me.

I eventually decided to venture back home after a quick stop off at Morrisons, bbmed Jonny and discussed a ‘move in.’ (I think it’d be good. Without me even knowing, i was looking at a place, unable to imagine him not being in it.) But anyway, I’m feeling happy, sexy, drunk and Va Voomy. I believe i have a great career a coming this year FINALLY and i’ve been flirting with ‘Eastenders Neil’ on Twitter, because he showed me what he looks like shirtless. I look GREAT shirtless, it’s only fair. I enjoy a casual moment of ‘flirt for fun’ breeze on Twitter. Keeps us alive and with a fanbase. (:) ) I also heard that one of my friends hung out with my big delicious Gay

Pouting, Posing & @Jonathanctaylor

Currently on a break, in a rather lovely old school glamour much dressing room. I had to wake up at 6am (urgh,) to get my pretty arse to work, which i do find rather hard. I’m one of those tragic beings that trails in at that time, from a delicious night of socializing. I’m a night owl and i don’t fight the feeling. *Wiggle-Wink.* I’m also NOT a morning person AT ALL. I mean, even if i’m home and not being a drunken struken, i’ll be laid awake in bed, or still up at 3am, with my mind a bubbling full speed ahead. It’s like ‘Georges Marvellous Medicine’ my mind. Deliciously child-like, full of nonsense and poison. In the BBF house, when we were all sick, i made Kat a ‘You’ll get better if you drink this’ concotion and she named it ‘George’s marvellous medicine.’ I went with  ‘Bitch Juice.’ I’d just make her drink it and well she’d look at Me and say, ‘What will happen if i drink this? And with a ‘You probably won’t beable to see, let alone win this,’ and just like that… she downed it in one and turned into a psychopath! Hahahah! Oh i did love Kat! I had a cuppa tea instead! I’m not that stupid. I mean Carrie kept giving me ‘Get well soon’ concotions to drink and i’d be like ‘Erm…no bitch, please!’ The good thing about Me, is that i can stay up ALL night long, go home, get two hours kitty cat sleep, and wake up at the crack of dawn to get myself to work. I’m never late. My stamina is beyond me. I don’t even know how i do it. I think i just have a hunger. I’ve been labelled a ‘Human Dynamo’ before. I liked that, hence why i’m boasting about it now. 😉

Anyway, i’ve be on a shoot all morning, at the same time as actually doing business. I’m having to take 15 minute breaks between pouts, whilst i’m in my undies to take a phonecall, or send an email or shove a chicken wing in my face. (Or whore it on Twitter, behind their backs.) I’m working hard and life is changing. Infact everything in life is changing. I’m not sure when my shoot is finished, but afterward i have an interview with a ‘being’ who I am told is not a Wunna Fan. I don’t mind it though, because all she’s gonna do is tell me how to live my life in the correct manner. I’ve been told she believes i’m a bad influence on the young. (Lovely! Lovely!) I actually excited because i’m a sicko and currently searching for my ‘Game face,’ but i’m finding that i’m Zoolander and i can only do *wink-pout.*

I’m not really worried (completely worried) because, it’s one thing to hear about Me, and another to actually meet me. I mean, I met a lady who apparently was not so keen on Me before for an interview and she went away with a write up stating that i was one of the most ‘Grounded, bright and happy’ individuals she had ever met. A ‘Face of the future’ she said, ..’with a playful, likeable, lust for life, people and love.’ I think she got a bit carried away with it all really. *Chuckles* I mean I am quite quite charming, even at the worst of times..let alone when i’m in a moment where i get to talk about nothing but myself for two whole hours! That’s like HEAVEN to Me.

By the end of it, she had loosened her bra, kicked her heels off, had a wine in her hand and was inviting me to her wedding. Infact, i was interviewing HER!!! I think i’m good at taking people away from the normal *stressful* formality of their life and for a precious juicy moment, ‘adventuring’ them into my world, where they can DO whatever they want to Do. Be whoever they want to Be and feel ‘fairytale’ delicious for a few short Wunna moments, be it a night, an hour, a minute, a wink. I’ve been told by a fatty currently standing next to me, (he’s thin hence why i can call him ‘Fatty’) that she only liked me because i manipulated and seduced her into it. Hahahah. Apparently, i can read people well (I can’t… can read MEN well) and i’m very aware of human fratalities. I know how to win people over or something? I don’t know why we can’t just got with ‘she genuinely liked me.‘ It’s not that unbelievable…(you bastard.lol)

Jonny’s (@jonathactaylor) been nagging at me all day. He likes ‘people,’ doing things and attention.(Don’t we all..!) However,  this weekend, everyones ventured off somewhere ‘ooh laa,’ leaving him all alone…to enjoy his own company… in London. We’re close friends and therefore we know each other pretty pretty well. (I actually know him better now, than i did when we dated. Which goes to prove that you shouldn’t rush into relationships, if you want them to actually last! ) Anyway, I’m at work trying to look ‘sexy’ in stockings and eyelashes for a bundle money and a big juicy fanbase, and HE’s in bbming me, calling me and telling me that he’s BORED and if he doesn’t get attention immediately, he’s going to either PIERCE something…(his nose to be exact,) GET A TATTOO….or just go home and cut himself. (I shouldn’t laugh, but it’s hilarious.) This is what i have to deal with!!!

I pointed out his irrationality. He agreed. We laughed and then he tweeted is pain for the world to feel, whilst chickenning out of a nose ring, (knew he would) having Matthew Williamson hit on him (he totally tried to stalk him afterward) and now claiming that if i don’t get him more followers on Twitter he’ll hurt himself  AND it will ALL be my fault. LMAO! Know that he is TERRIFIED of pretty much ANYTHING that he could use to hurt himself in ANY way. Hence why it’s fuuny. Infact, I even think Jonny Taylor is terrified of Jonny Taylor. I can just imagine him tottering around London,  in despair, hunting for ANY attention. I laughed and told him he just needs a sit down, a cuddle and maybe a knife? He’ll be fine. I think we came to the conclusion that we were going to go on a pinic. Hopefully one of those little girls who fancies him will occupy him for the weekend, so i don’t have to mentally baby-sit him. I love little Jonny. We’ve been through it and then some. Funny! Last time i saw him was the other night. Tuesday? We were singing in Camden, (well he was..i was just drinking in a jumper.) Good night actually. We had steaks, vodka and a black boy named ‘Leon.’ I do miss Jonny when i’m away. But i’m used to being away from him. When we were actually dating, we didn’t even live in the same part of England. Now we’re practically neighbours (until i move…the new Leeds appartment that i want has just been on the telly as one of the most sort after penthouses to live in) and well yead we’re just friends. We’ve done everything backwards. But that’s his fault, not mine. Like how did he even appear in my life?

I’ve actually got to venture off. I’ve got sooo much to do today!! Work, Business, Travelling, Interview, Being a Dickhead and Party Party. Pussy Pout WINK! (I’ve been told that a BBM Fan PIN, should be done and i actually don’t think it’s a bad idea.) I love you lots!!!! Thankyou bitches x

You are Mine!

Just got out of the most bubbliest of baths. I love a luxury bath, that i can ‘ooh this is lovely’ in. Give me bubbles, wine, peace and the odd kitten to look at, and i’m in heaven. The best thing about it was that i managed to achieve a not too hot, yet not too cold bubbly bath….Infact it was deliciously perfect. I mean, i can’t stand it when i *pout-hair toss* in and it’s a cloudy cold excuse of a bath, (i get mad at myself) and  feel like i’ve just stood in a puddle. (Even weeing yourself is warmer.) Cold water in a bath, completely takes the luxury out of the experience. I like my water HOT..steamy hot. However, not too hot, that i have to creep into it like it might attack me or like i got visciously bullied at school. If it doesn’t make me go ‘Oooh’ (and that’s with anything,) then you can send it right back and give me a better version. Be it baths, boys, beach balls or booze. (Infact no…i’ll drink anything.)

Anyway, (i rambled on then) instead of being a decent and normal human being, I got out my bath, because i heard Footloose playing. Easily distracted. I leapt out of ‘bath time’ with a sincere excitement, put on a pair of knicker knacks and with a kitty *grab* of a baby pink towel, I ran like my tragic life depended on it, to perform my version of the song….naked, in the living room and with other family members. (They were clothed. Thank fucking GOD.) I did have a towel on by the way. I mean i don’t show my Father my boobs.

Anyway, my version of anything is either insane, slaggy, party party, or slaggy. I went with insane, but had the best time ever much. I was literally leaping gleefully off fine pink leather sofas and doing split and *shocked* faces to Footloose, whilst watching ‘Kevin Bacon’ being all odd on my telly. It kinda made my luxury bath pointless. Infact, i also got tangled in my own hair extensions in the midst of excitement. Twice today to! My weave is eating me alive.

On the boy front. I’m meant to be calling Latin Lover tonight. He’s in a different country to me, therefore i need to remember the time zones, and well i can’t remember anything sober. I mean, the other day whilst walking down Camden road, i was explaining to a friend that i’m either existing really really drunk, or really really hungover and nothing in between. I’m sober right now, and yeah…it’s weird. My brain doesn’t work or anything.

Fernando…the hottie that fancies me in Italy, (I don’t know if you remember, but i used to talk to him last year, after my awful much break up with Jonny,) he talked to me today, saying he was single, and wanting me to go Italy and be his etc… (the usual.) However, i remember us falling out, simply because he believed i wasn’t 100% attentive. Like if i didn’t immediately reply to his messaged, he’d throw a Queeny fit and well…that’s a turn off to me. A ‘Fit’ i don’t mind. I mean it’s hot when someone says ‘I don’t like it when you do that..so dont.” I like people who aren’t afraid to tell you how they feel, what to do, what not to do, and speak their mind. HOWEVER, throwing a tantrum, like acting like a little spoilt bratt and committing to a child-like ‘You’re obviously too busy for me and other things are more important than me…so FINE..i’m gonna delete you,’ is firstly quite funny and secondly far too girly for me to be attracted to you anymore. But i talked to him. I just don’t fancy him. With me, it’s weird, you get your shot to make an impression. I’m a tolerant girl. Yet once i’m FULLY done. I’m done. I won’t be venturing off to Italy. But great guy!

I’ve noticed that a great deal of men sort of DEMAND my attention….even the ones i don’t know and i don’t know why?? They’re naturally possessive creatures i think? Yet i’m a full, frillied playful social butterfly. Therefore my independance and ‘nitter natter’ pisses them off, because they feel i don’t need them. I’m the girl every boy wants to tame. They want to nail me with a ‘PROPERTY OF..’ stamp, and execute a wooing method of ‘YOU ARE MINE!‘ I don’t actually mind if i am actually with them, but if i’m not…. they kinda need to back off and let me do my thang! I think it makes them feel powerful? Taming the wild one, making her yours.

If i don’t know the boy, i honestly don’t at all care. If i do and they’re a friend, i’m attentive if they don’t MAKE me be. (I hate being MADE to do anything.) If they’re my best friend, Like Jonny,

A Little bit of a beat down…

Why is my whole entire body aching like i’ve worked out like a beast on heat? All i did was go an a walk up the street and now i’m probably gonna need a massage from a ‘Handsome’ who can rub a sore muscle out, to the melody of ‘Oooh.’ I’m not kidding, my whole body is ‘work-out’ sore, but i haven’t even worked out. I enjoy how life wants to ‘tiddly pop’ toy with me, by making me not even have to work out, to have a ‘work out’ sore. I need a warm bubble bath and hands all over me. However, saying that.. i got my hair washed at a little oriental place the other day. I chose it because it looked magical, and also because i figured i could get a decent discount, with me being ‘Off the telly’ and well being Oriental. (You’re eyes. My eyes. They slant. I’M IN!!!)

I loved it there because after the ‘hair washing’ part, they made me jasmine flavoured tea, massaged my whole entire head, to calm me, then did a praying thing behind me, which consisted of breathing. I right now, need you to focus in on the ‘calm me’ part. HOLY ‘you do not even want to know’ Shitzu!! I’m there, sitting by a fucking dragon, surrounded by all things red and gold. My hair’s still wet and i’m ridiculously content. I had a smile of sheer bliss, from ear to ear. I don’t even know why i was so happy? Maybe because i love ‘pamper.‘ But yeah, not sure what happened, but after one more breathy ‘prayey’ bit, i looked at her face through the mirror and saw the fucking Ninja in her eyes!

Just imagine a moment of me trapped in a salon chair prison (cloak on and everything, not able to move my arms..infact she probably had rope around the back of it, to fasten me down.) Then imagine, her face turning to ‘Ninja.’ My face turning to ‘FRIGHT,’ and in three slow motion seconds, her arms going up into the air, my face screws up out of pussy cat fear and her KARATE CHOPPING (and this is NO exaggeration) my upper back and neck REPEATEDLY, and in FULL FORCE, ‘i think i might passout‘ insanity, like i had just wee’d in her tea or something, then kicked her Mother in the mouth. OMG!! I had never been in some much pain in my life and at a fucking  hair cut!!! Yet even though i was screaming, and then laughing out loud, at the sheer pain i was going through. You should’ve seen me, i was in tears!! My PRIDE (Oh the pride,) refused to let me tell her i was in pain and therefore saw the battering out, to the very end.

Then that bitch stops, doesn’t even flinch or move a muscle, morphs back into ‘i’m a sweet little tiny, hair cutting, oriental girl,‘ and fucking walks off like it never even happened. A butch one, then came over…so you could imagine my fear!!! However, she just trimmed, blow dryed, then put out her palm for the money. I didn’t even get a discount and i got flippin’ BEAT UP!! I’m off the telly!!! You’re meant to praise me and wave, and give me things for free. NOT karate chop the living shits out of me, whilst my hair is still undone and wet. Eww…talk about kicking a girl when she’s down. (I’m getting told that I’m currently being watched fighting it out to be ‘Paris Hiltons BBF in Dubai.‘ Not to ruin it or anything…but i lose.) God, i’ve totally put myself off from having a rub down my ‘Handsomes’ now.

A girl on Facebook is trying to make me be an escort. Dont be so ridiculous, i’m a floozey for free and with suitors i actually fancy. Wine me. Dine Me. Break my heart. That’s how it goes in Wunna world. There’s no getting paid for dating or sex. (Wacky concept, i know.) I do fairytale love and i do it the wicked way… hopeful, raw and real. I’m not bothered about making money from something like that. I already make money, from doing nothing but being ‘Chrissie Wunna.’ But good on the girls that can be bothered to feel up, ugly 50 year old Arabs, for a grand. That’s not who I AM at all. *Gips up.*

Now a man is trying to make me pose for a ‘tattoo’ magazine. The first thing i said was, ‘How much?’ He didn’t even know, which meant, HE meant for free. Don’t be silly! Nothing like taking advantage! There’s some really cheeky people out there. I’m trying to make a living here and i’ve made a baby ‘mark’ enough now to KNOW what’s right and what’s wrong. This is my year of ‘doing well’ and pretty much my year of not getting used. I mean, i was polite…i just said, ‘…when you know all the details of the job, and the payment, then contact me and i’ll have a think.’ Which in my mind is fair enough and professional. Loads of people try and befriend me and try to make me do jobs for them. Hmm…? In my general life i’m playful and kitty. When it comes to business…i’m ruthless. I’m not someone that’s easily moulded or manipulated….even when drunk.

I’m going through a weird stage with people right now. Where  photographers only want to shoot me, to get to see me naked and maybe boastie woastie a delicious made up ‘i had her’ story. Or they think if i work with them, i’ll fancy them on the day, like it’s a date and not just work. It makes me all uncomfortable, because again, i’m not anything like that. I catergorize evertyhing. Nothing is mixed and if i’m made to feel uncomfortable, you’re fucked, coz i become highly rebellious, with a streak of the old ‘tell it how it is.’ Lovely! Lovely. All smiles! Ooh i fancy pasta! Oh and i’m devasted because it seems if you re-sleep with the boy that TOOK your virginity…you actually DON’T get it back. 🙁

Taken at No.5 Cavendish.

 

A Floozey With Morals

I enjoy that i am under the misconception that, if i do something ‘naughty’ yet do it in my sunglasses, i’m actually in disguise and therefore no one can see me do it, i can’t even see me do it, and well if 1 + 1 = 5… it NEVER even really happened. If no eye direct eye contact was made…anything you saw, you imagined. (Logic was never my forte. I more take the ‘logic‘ and give it my own ‘Wunna’ twist. I add a wink, a bit of Malibu, stick a cocktail umbrella in it and there you have it…complete tragedy!) I’m a practioner in the craft of ‘oooh laaa.’ I don’t need logic, it needs Me. My ways could win wars!!

Actually woke up to fan mail, which ofcourse is a really lovely feeling. I’m quite glad that i’m inspiring people by accident. I’m excited by it! I might even give myself a pat on the old backage, but really is *stretching* really something i do? I don’t think so. I’m a girl. If i can’t reach it…then surely a member of the opposing sex will commit to the ‘reach‘ and solve all my problems for Me. Now, i’m on this random bit of ‘ooh laa,’ i actually really don’t like to see girls who are tottering around with a boys, yet are humbled over, struggling to carry a massively heavy bag, whilst the boy *struts* onward freely, on this phone and doing his hair in a passing window. I saw it at the train station two days ago! If you’re a man, you stop and you CARRY that bag for her regardless!! Boys are getting away with murder! I find men like that unattractive. I mean i remember when Mike and I were moving into our second home in  (which even to this day i adore,) he MADE all his guy friends ‘Macho’ over, to carry boxes and point blank REFU

 It’s bizarre because i’m extremely open minded about almost everything. A bit too open minded. I’m one to test your moral meter. Yet weirdly i’m highly traditional and old fashioned when it comes to love, respect and manners. I guess the manners comes from the ‘British’ in Me. The respect is the old ‘Asian’ way and the ‘love,’…well that’s the human being in Me. 🙂 (God, i’m full of cold. It’s all the wearing of party dresses in the cold coat-less. Don’t do it! You’ll get a snotty nose and no-one will wanna shag you.)

I’m just getting a *Flash back* of Jonny’s 21st birthday, when he was dragging himself down the pavement, looking like a rag & bone man, at 4am, carrying what looked like 40 coats, after spending the last 40 minutes at a Camden kebab shop, whilst i (who was waiting for him outside his place, with his friend Lauren,) ended up having to convince a ‘really did hate men’ lesbian, to let us in her appartment in the early hours of the morning, so we wouldn’t be cold. All i remember is a fish tank, laundry and her hunting for drugs. We’d been in there for ages & i was pissing myself. Yet, as always my laugh gave me away and the lesbian *paused,* looked at me and said, ‘Do I know you from somewhere???‘ The poor girl had the tragic, but beautiful mess that is ‘Chrissie Wunna’ on her sofa and she didn’t realise. I simply said ‘No.’ But i really wanted to inform her that i was a legend. 🙂

God, i just got a message from a lovely gentleman on Facebook called ‘Wael Madany,’ who quite merrily this morning wants me to ‘FUCK OFF’ and then go on to ‘FUCK MY MOTHER.’ Ooh dear. Another positive passenger. He’s angry at me for not replying to him immediately on Facebook chat, which therefore would mean i don’t care. And quite frankly to be honest…I don’t. It’s his really good manners, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I’ve noticed that i am recently complaining a great deal about the ‘pervy wervies,‘ however i’m not doing myself any favours. But now things are about to change. I mean, the way someone’s percieved will pretty much determine how they will be treated. I keep forgetting that lesson. UGH much! Like i always ramble on about wanting to find my ‘Knight.’ The man of my Ultimate dreams, who i can conquer the world with and cherish with a ‘Kitty Cat- oooh.’ Yet, when you want to attract something into your life, who kinda have to make sure you’re actions are not contradicting your desires. Yet whatever, i’m not bothered. I’m sure he’ll bump into me and inform me. Whatever will be, will be. I’m LOVING life right now and i’m living it. Being the happy, playful kitty, of complete & cheeky *wink wink* is amazing, but i can feel myself maturing mentally and it’s oddly terrifying me. Hence why i’m needing to take a little ‘time out’ from London town. I’m doing really well, really fast and i guess it’s important to me that i stay grounded and well footed right now, in order to get my head around it all and what better place to do it in, than the comfort of the place that you were born. *Wiggle-Giggle-Pout* (Ooh

Cuppa tea please!!! (Picture above from the Fashion Challenge PHBBF.)

A little past sandwich…

I’ve finally got back to Yorkshire after a long evening of travel. I’m in my pyjamas, i’m all snuggled up by a fire place, i’m surrounded by kittens, (they’ve had their ‘privates’ sorted, to keep them from shagging each other and having millions of inbred babies,) and i am one completely exhausted Kitty Cat of Greatness. I’ve suffering from a distinct lack of sleep. ( I went out last night. It wasn’t a late one, however, i got really drunky, woke up fully dressed. I felt awful. Like a solid ‘4,’ and mid feeling like crap, i puked. 🙂 But then, i jumped up, realized it was 6am, jumped back in bed, woke up at 8am. I actually felt AMAZING, got groomed, ready, changed, then coffee’d and Glamour pussed off to a very important meeting, with the good people that work in TV. Tremendous they were. I met them in the Victoria area. I like people who know their job and what they’re doing. I felt really comfortable, happy, excited about the future and like i could actually maybe take over the WORLD! Oh and i helped a tramp on the way at the station. He wanted to hold my hand. I let him.)

The train journey from London to ‘Back up north’ was looooong. I was completely exhausted (but still managed to stuff a Whopper burger in my face, and then have pancakes) and well as soon as i even felt a seat near my ‘bootilicious,’ i pretty much zonked into dreamland and i did it open mouthed. I was ridiculously eyelashed, furred, diamond studded, extended, boobied and orange. Mouth open? I probably looked dead. (Hurrah!) I woke up to an odd lady (in red)  holding my HAIR. I cheekily looked and smiled (i enjoy catching people out, coz it’s uncomfortable) and she completely pretended like it wasn’t even happening, dropped the hair and made like she was reading the whole entire time. Genius! I love it!

 Then i found that the group of girls in the seats infront of me, were having an in depth conversation about my ex-hubby, (not knowing i was listenning in, or that he was my previous parcel of ‘I do.‘) AND the girls in the seats right BEHIND me, were talking about ‘Paris Hiltons British Best Friend,’ again not knowing, i was hidden away, a carpetted train chair infront of them! I was their favourite. Funnily enough, i was MY favourite too. 🙂 I was accidentally sandwiched between ‘train going’ lovelies, who were all discussing my past around me. It sort of just made me look at my rather distorted image, in the train window and smile. It’s great when you find yourself  in the exact right place, at the exact right time. I’m happy, i feel amazing, i’m growing up and i really wish i didn’t have that Whopper. (‘Withnail & I’ is on the telly right now. It reminds me of Mikey. We’d watch it in the day and he’d love doing all the voices. If you’ve ever watched a movie with him, that he adores, you’re pretty much FUCKED, because he’ll either completely ban you from talking, or even looking away for one second. OR he’ll act the WHOLE entire thing out, whilst it’s on and rewind any bit he’s missed or not performed to his best ability.)

I’ve got an absolute jolly load to blog, yet i simply can’t do it, due to the ‘muchness’ of it all. I’ll have to do it tomorrow. I can’t believe how much has happened? I can’t believe i only did London (where i live) for ONE day. It got to me, right away. I feel whole when up north, good things happen to me here. Oh and i went to my eye test and they weirdly claimed my eyes were fine. UGH! I had to go in three times and see two different opticians, a beautiful lady and finally the hot male one. (WOOHOO!) It was hilariously tragic, because he couldn’t put the ‘optical sight’ glasses over my eyes properly because my eyelashes got in the way and he didn’t want to squash them. THEN he couldn’t hook them behind my ears, because of my hair extensions, my weave ends were like ‘oh hell no!’ Then he had to lean in to look in my eye ( i began pissing myself like a lunatic, for no reason other than happiness.) He leant in but accidentally knocked into my boob. Haha!  All my fakery, is prohibiting me from ever having decent sight. But ah well…you win some, you lose some!

I actually met a lot of my Facebook fans at Kings Cross this evening. Four different people stopped me to ask if i was ‘Chrissie?‘ I’m at an odd stage now, where people are scared to talk to me. However, four seperate lovelies did and three of them were shaking. I always wonder why or what’s going through their head? I immediately want them to feel comfortable. I loved it. They were really sweet. Hugs and kisses all around. I picked up on something that one girl said to me today (during that time)  and that was, ‘The good thing about you Chrissie, is that people can actually read your blog,  see you out and about, and you really WILL stop and talk to us, like we’re best friends and do things with us. I feel like i know you!’ (The ‘do things’ part is because I helped her try to find her train home. God knows how i actually managed it? I was terribly hungover. But i did bitches…and whilst eating pancakes mid-totter.) I love how when people meet me, they’re never like ‘Wow,’ they simply find it surreal. It’s almost as if i’m a fictional character and not a real life person, who comes to life and crosses your path, and takes you on a magically (drunk) adventure. I actually quite like it and i enjoy the fact that everybody knows what’s going on in my life, how i’m feeling, what i’m thinking, where i’m going, what i’m doing….? It makes me feel like the jolly members of the world (with good taste in bloggers)  are living my life with Me, but REALLY and well hopefully i’m bringing people together, without them even knowing. Plus, by watching Me celebrate MY life, you’re learning to truely celebrate Yours. I’m a normal girl, trying to make her dreams come true. I do things right. I do things wrong. But i’m learning as I go along and as if by magic, it’s all happening. My dreams are coming true. ( I mean, i accidentally had a little ‘happy-weep’ today in my appartment. I looked around and filled up for no reason, other than ‘i’m happy’ and on my period. 🙂 I don’t know what’s gonna happen to Me in the end? I just know it’s something amazing…

I’m gonna have to go to bed…i am KNACKERED. I can’t write a decent blog, when i’m feeling quite indecently exhausted! I LOVE you…deeply. x

‘Can you ask Chrissie, if she wants some Andy

London Bound Bitches…

Okay so it’s far too early for any decent human being to be blogging, however, decency was unfortunately never my forte! I’m up, i have a meeting, i’m off to get my eyes tested, i’m going to be shopping for a rather brief while, i have a cold, i have great tits and then i am on my way back to LONDON. (Hurrah!)

I couldn’t really sleep ALL night. I don’t know why? But i have a puffy face (as in swell factor, not gay) and yeah, that’s really not a great thing, when you’re about to cause a million ‘parties’ in peoples pants now is it!

Eye Spy and a Trip Back To London

Just got out the shower, currently stroking my 8 kittens, had pom poms attached to my boobies almost 3 minutes ago and finished off a conversation with my Mother about boys and how i should go about finding the right one. My Mother truely worries about me and my ‘feisty,’ rather ambitious ways. I remind her of her…and it humours me that it terrifies her. On Decemeber 19th 1980, she squeezed out a ‘Glamour Puss,‘ and after having to watch her ‘fruit’ go through a delicious ‘wiggly woo’ of all kinds of big big trouble, my Mother’s pretty worried. I mean, she believes my ambitious ways, and hunger for power and world domination, will very much get in the way of my love life. Apparently men don’t enjoy a more powerful woman, or a high earning one and right now, i already have Men simply quite terrified of becoming my ‘other half,’ incase one day i hurt them. (But’sTherefore, in the merry end (and when i am, where i want to be)… I’m told it will be a million times worse! I think she believes i’m gonna have to make a few sacrifices, if i want to score a ‘Happily ever after.’ (I put my ipod on halfway through the conversation, therefore i only got the gist of what she was going on about. I’m not a good lip reader. I *kiss* lips. I don’t bother reading them.) UGH, more than anything, i fancy smooching the boy i went to visit in Liverpool, right now. Best kiss much.

Tomorrow, i have two sight tests to tend to, which i’m not really excited about. I have bad eye sight. I hate it. Yet, the thing that is annoying, isn’t the ‘can’t fucking see at all’ part and more the fact that i ‘can’t fucking see at all’ infront of the HOTTE

A Little Bit of ‘Inbox’

Dear Chrissie: (I’m giving you a little peek in my ‘inbox.‘ These arrived in the last few minutes. I randomly & quickly picked a few… for you’re deliciously precious entertainment. They’re from my male fans.)

‘Not going to lie,  just looking at your photos  & i fancied you.. .i wanted to shoot you, to meet you, i was being a little dillusional &  hoped you may like me, but anyways yeah never going to happen.
If  you’re around sometime in the midlands and fancy it let me know x’ 
(From a guy who i told off for being unproffessional.)

 ‘I just got off work and heard ‘Baby Boy’ and starting ballin’ ‘cuz I miss you… I’m sad… I need you back in my life.’ (From Latin Lover.)

 

‘Hello Chrissie,
your friendship make me really happy and you bring sunshine in my heart!
I send all my best wishes to you!
Have a wonderful and lovely day!’
Yours’

 

‘Hi baby, When can i fuck you in my bed x soon i hope x love you sexy’ (Romantic.)

 

‘We need to know what food helps boob growth , does massaging daily help ?’ (One of those that you don’t entertain, as it WILL get dirty much.)

 

‘…sweet…thanx for your ‘ooh laa’ collection….really nice, hot…sexy….i love it………it makes my cock naughty….ha ha haaaa….ummmm…x’
 
 
‘You rang my darling? How may i serve you! Also going clubbing tonight. Why dont you come shake a leg and get crunk.’ (Coz i’m hood like that 🙂 )
 
 
 
Good Morning Princess.
Really miss writing to you.
Now your back up in northern parts maybe you might send me something back.
I cant keep writing to you if you ignore me.
Anyways,hope you are well and stay healthy.
Your friend, and not some arse licking fan, always Chrissie.’
 
Hi there . Well to be honest im lost for words , You’re beautiful.
Hope you dont mind the comment.’

‘Hi Chrissie Wunna, how are you ? Please do not mind, can i call you sister,dear,baby and darling.Please do not mind i want to say to you something that i love you and i want to marry you .You are very sexy,beautiful and hot. When i see you first time i fall in love with you. Please reply me soon i am waiting for you reply.. do you have any msn messenger. I  want to sex with you and i want to take your ass. Wanna give me your ass.’ (Lovely! Lovely!)
 
 
‘Alright Chrissie, just thought you should know that your starting to get a bit of a fan club in Dorset, so the people trying to be friends with you aren’t creeps or nothing, just spotted you through my account. Hope your doing alright.’ (From on old school friend.)
 
 
‘Wish u wer mine x’ (I like this one. To the point. Direct. Lovely!)
 
 
‘…so i guess u will only be apart of my dreams and nothing else’
 
 
‘I see you as a demanding lady who has to have what she feels she desires….would lady chrissie like to have a personal slave/maid to wait on you?
I go to lots of fetish clubs as a maid or in crossdress of some kind and i must say you area lady i would love to treat as a queen!!
to do all your chores,to do your shopping,carry your bags,all the jobs lady chrissie hates.lol!’
 
 
 
‘..she’s stalking me and its unpleasent… can u delete n block her please hun??’ (From a famous boy, who acts.)
 
 
‘Hey Chrissie, i apologize for the bad language i used yesterday while chatting with you, i thought in myself that i really have no right to say anything about your profession and your nude pics, you do it as profession only, and more over we all should respect women, i am very sorry for what ever i wrote yesterday, and ask for your kind apology.’
 
 
 
‘WUNNA I love you from now until death do us part. Right now, you living so far away from me is killing me, but I know in my heart that we are doing the right thing. And, you are trying to get things straight so we can live there forever and spend a lifetime together. I don’t want to lose you for anyone else or anything that anyone has to say about you. I want you to know that I love you from the deepest part of my heart.’ (I have NEVER in my life, met or talked to this boy….but i am flattered.)

 

I’m always here for you…no matter how many times you unfollow me on Twitter.’ (Via BBM…Jonny.)