Cocktails, Cuddles and a bit of ‘Ooh Laa’ Pie

Just got back from drinks, work and feasts with my darling soldiers. They’re all sat on my bed, watching ‘

I know a lot of people, i have a lot of great friends, really close ones and well after a dodgey last night, i was determind to stay positive, warm hearted and ‘ooh la la.’ And that my lovelies.. i did. Proving you can never keep a good Glamour Puss down. Cutting a tie has felt really good, really healthy and i’m smiling in the comfort that i can look at my life and think ‘Yeah…i’ve done a dandy’ and completely by accident. (Code for a WHOLE LOT of work.) Even my mum called me today to hear all about the drama. I think she just laughed and gave me the ‘i’m so proud ‘ of you speechy weechy. (Cute!) Thankyou for all my letters and messages. You guys are inspriring. I learn from you, just as much as you learn from me. (I’m having a rather enticing cocktail, the prettiest cocktail i have ever spied, being thrusted at Me, with a vigor so ‘umphy’ it could send a tingle down your spine.) I have a teddy, (given to me by a fan) called ‘Dildo.’ He’s getting a little frisky and doesn’t enjoy being shoved down my top, to be pretend ‘boobies’ whilst i shimmie.

On the boy front, ‘Lashes‘ is being a darling. A Hero. He’s an intelligent, loving, honest guy and well was really upset about how ill treated i was by ‘Zero.’ He said, ‘i know it’s disheartening, but there’s only a small minority of idiots.He wants to give him a good old beating, but figures ‘Zero’ would like it too much, and get him to do it, with a thong on, after smearing himself in baby oil to Barry Manilow, and try and eat his ‘willy’ off.

 But anyway, i’m happy, i’m positive. I’m still rocking the sexy. It’s good to know you have a ‘Lashes’ in your life and a cocktail in your hand, and a sumo wrestler on your bed. He was the first person to call me this morning, (‘Lash’ not the sumo) made me smile, brought out the best in me. And well I love it, when we just lay in bed, watch Eastenders, and giggle at each other. He sees me without my face on (God help him) and thinks i’m beautiful, even after i’ve spooned him and farted on his leg. I’ve been working a lot so i haven’t had chance to really get my ‘cuddles’ on. But i will in a couple days! I love cuddles I give them to everyone.

Anyway, i do have to go and tend to my ‘Darlings’ who are littering my bed, with nonsense and memories. My building made me what i call ‘Ooh Laa’ pie, (it’s a pie, that makes you feel sexy) because they felt bad for me. I love a bit of pity pie. It’s all warm and delicious and great with swear words. They thought it would remind me of Yorkshire and put a smile on my little ‘doll face,’ as they call it, since i had a night of ‘shitarroo.’ They saw me stumble in, in tears. Team Wunna Rocks. I’m the luckiest little Princess of ‘Va Voom.’

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