Many people who have fans (and everyone everywhere has a fan somewhere, even if it’s a secret one) will probably be inundated with parcels, letters or emails, that express undying love and devotion. I get those (ever so modest)…and i love them. I do. I adore being worshipped. It works for me! (Haters!!!) Yet, I on the other hand, get mesages from my favourite type of fan/friend..(i’ve started calling all my fave fans ‘friends’ now, as i spend more time talking to them, than i do the voices in my head, and i would actually meet up with them for winks.) I’m not a ‘stuck up my own arse’ Diva. I enjoy people, new people and strange people. The chances of you randomly meeting me, and ending up having a bit of an impromptu natter and a drink are extrememly HIGH. (And not as in drugs.) Now i’ve gone and lost my trail of fucking thought?? (Shit, and a fly’s just come and bitten me on the fucking face! MY FUCKING FACE GODDAMIT!!)
Anyway, Mikey Kardashian (one of my faves) cos he’s so ‘Sex,’ sends me this quick note of merriment an hour ago, after hearing that i was refueling, tanning and purring in mirrors before my next bout of partying.
It read: ‘If i’m not involved with ur next partyness, then i’m going to throw dynamite up ur cunt and blow ur fucking box up.’ (HAHAHAHAHA…) Call me twisted but i adore this behaviour! I’m going to make one big SHIT of a Mother one day. And the best thing about it, is the fact that he followed his message up with a beautiful link to his favourite Louis Vuitton Bag, that i stated was ‘ Simply Delicious’ and he stated was ‘Beyond Sex,’ and i should feel free to ‘fuck it’ when we tea a little at Harrods. Brilliant! Gimme, gimme more bitches!
I seem to once again be testing peoples moral meters. Y’know seeing how far yours will be willing to move. If you’ve ever laughed at anything i’ve ever said then you’re as sick as i am, and i adore you. I mean, i’m definitely going to Hell and i’m taking all you bitches down with ME!! That’s why i’m lulling you into believeing that what i’m saying is jolly old okayish behaviour. And if you haven’t found anything i say quite brilliantly hilarious (and there’s many many of you..yes i get those emails too) then i’m sure Kardashians ‘Dynamite to the Cunt’ move will get ya juices a going…or kill you. Either way…You need to lighten up. Or just NOT read it. Why punish yourselves!!! Its hilarious. You go on about how much u hate it, yet read it EVERY bloody day. Stop yourselves. Get it? (Please, please no applause, ‘i’m not pimpy, i’m just drawn this way!’)
I have to go and refrain from rambling anymore. Loads of people are going on about how they can’t find me on Twitter. ( I can’t even find me on Twitter, but i assure you i am under ‘chrissiewunna‘) I’m shit at all things computery. I’m made of sugar and spice and all things, thrice. Excess in moderation rocks!! When i was in hollywood i was made of Vodka, Wine a bump and a line. I’m come a long way. (HAHAHA.) Tragic!! Now, I think i’m made of drag queens, drunks and horny apes.
I’m getting distracted again!! Okay Computers! I usually just moan at a boy, or simply point at something computery and it magically gets done for me….men are good for things like this. Therefore if u have computery questions, i am NOT the girl to answer them. (You know who you are!) I’m a Glamour Puss. I wink at fucking strangers and toss my extented hair, not widdle with ya fucking laptops and work out mathematical equations!!! Just needed to clear the air.
Give me booze