In Zoo Today

Hi Lovers. I’m feeling wonderful this afternoon, after a morning of half fullness. It’s weird because i always pretend my life is going soooo badly, when really it’s actually going exceptionally well for a pouty ego maniac, travelling back to Britain from the land of ‘La La ‘ that loves her. I feel GREAT. I’m fucking happy and you should be too. I’m in Zoo Magazine today, so grab your copy. It’s the Ultimate Run down of This Weeks Sexiest Women…and once again Miss. Wunna manages to muscle her way in!! (Thanx Dino! Love you!)

Other than that, I’m filling up on Echinaeca tea, i’m loving all the love i’m getting and i’ve made the executive decision to take a mild disliking to people who can play musical instruments , as i feel they are better than Me and really nothing  is worse than a hangover AND an inferiority complex this early in the day, especially in these lashes. (Sister you KNOW it!!)

I’ve always wanted to beable to play something more than the air guitar, the pink trombone, strum a good G -String or simply play the ‘mind’ of another. Yet i was not blessed with such a talent. I lack  the patience, the ability to hang out for an hour with a boring fringe of a music teacher and …well i just couldn’t be arse!!! I always thought i would never need to have the ability to play an instrument, in my life…and i was right. It’s not like i can pull out my pocket flute and start playing it in times of danger, without someone calling me a Gypo. But i think it’s more… If i can’t do something almost right away then i really despise it, for a good long while?  I was always great on a stage, a great little mover, a brilliant nuisance, the life and soul of any party…but could i get my head around playing a clarinet…oh HELL NO!! Plus, my Clarinet teacher had dodgey scabs on his hands, that he would peel off with his mouth, during my lesson. I was trying to play good old Christian songs and out the corner of my eye, he’d be eating his puss infected hands, like they were his dinner. I remember wanting to cry or have a go at ripping his scabs off with him. Then i tried the piano, but my teacher was a Uni-sexed Nazi. She made me cry too, whilst i was struggling to play Christmas Carols. I think she said i’d never amount to anything. But if the top of her ladder was being a ‘Uni-Sexed Piano playing Nazi’ then i think i was saved by the Gods!!! God i want to kick her in her ballsy vagina knackers. I bet she’s a horny little bitch too and rubs it off to Beethoven’s 5th.

I don’t have much to report today as i’m concetrating on getting better. I’m feeling a bit run down due to a great deal of the art of Social butterflying and woke up with a cat licking my hair repeatedly until i rose. I’m refueling and sexing it up, and will hopefully be back in tip top form for Thursday. I do love you all a great deal. I’m about to have a nice bubbly bath and well stay tuned my lovelies, something tells me something wonderful is about to happen.

Chrissie Wunna (pout much?)

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